Vault: Have You Ever Tailed Your Spouse?

Summary

The Bert Show – “Vault: Have You Ever Tailed Your Spouse?”

Date: January 12, 2026
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delves into the surprisingly common—and deeply emotional—act of tailing a spouse or partner out of distrust. Prompted by a storyline from Desperate Housewives, Bert and the crew invite listeners to share personal experiences of literally following their significant other in a vehicle when suspicions run high. The ensuing conversation features compelling, sometimes heartbreaking listener stories, a real-time call with a man tailing his wife, and candid reflections on trust, infidelity, and the fundamental breakdowns in relationships that lead people to such lengths.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Desperate Housewives Inspiration

• The episode kicks off with Bert referencing a Desperate Housewives subplot where a character tails her boyfriend due to lingering mistrust.
• Purpose: To open a broader discussion regarding the real-life act of physically tailing a partner and whether listeners have done the same, clarifying the difference between active tailing and borderline “stalking” behaviors.

[02:07] Bert: “Now follow this storyline and we're gonna need some real honesty from women this morning…have you ever done this?”

2. Defining "Tailing" vs. Stalking

• Bert distinguishes active trailing (following someone's vehicle) from more invasive behaviors (like watching someone from afar or “stalking”).
• The intent is to keep the conversation grounded in actions listeners might actually admit to, rather than extreme or illegal conduct.

[03:54] Bert: “I'm not looking for stalking calls...I'm talking about literally getting in your car and following your boyfriend or your husband. Because you had that much distrust, you tailed him.”

3. Real-Time Caller: Jonathan Tails His Wife

• The most dramatic moment comes as “Jonathan” (voice disguised) describes tailing his wife in real time during the broadcast.
• Jonathan suspects infidelity after finding a suspicious note and recounts a history of cheating in the relationship.
• The cast challenges him on what evidence he has and questions the logic of why he doesn't simply confront his wife.

[04:33] Jonathan: “I'm doing it right now as we speak.”
[05:00] Jonathan: “I just gotta know for sure. She's lying. Just lying.”

• He lays out his rationale, involvements of his mother-in-law, and admits to being “fed up,” emphasizing the emotional weight and desperation that drives him to act.
• After tailing his wife for a while, he discovers she did as she said, taking their daughter to school, illustrating the paranoia such situations provoke.

[14:02] Jonathan: “Yeah. But she wound up going to the school.”

4. Other Listener Stories

a. Jesse – Stepdad Tails Mom

• Jesse recounts her stepfather tailing her mother to the tanning salon, then becoming irate when another man held open a door for her mother.
• He went as far as running the man's plates (with law enforcement help), exposing how jealousy and suspicion can escalate.

[08:31] Jesse: “[My stepdad] followed her to the tanning bed...a guy held open the door for her...He got this man’s tag number...ran the man’s tag number, got his name and phone number and address...”

b. Wade – Catching a Spouse in the Act

• Wade shares the pain of following his wife to a restaurant, only to discover her with his neighbor—someone he’d previously confided in.
• The story highlights the agony and sense of betrayal that accompanies such discoveries.

[10:44] Wade: “Oh, yeah...this guy is a friend of mine...watched him for about 30 minutes, hugging and kissing in the booth.”

c. Veronica – Husband & Cousin

• Veronica’s story is especially dramatic; suspecting her husband, she tails him and witnesses him checking into a motel with her cousin.
• She documents the evidence and files for divorce.

[12:28] Veronica: “He pulled in to a motel and my cousin was like, she was smoking. She was waiting for him outside. And they both went in and they stayed there for like about an hour...I had a camera and I also took pictures and went to my lawyer and I filed for divorce.”

5. Reflection and Analysis by the Cast

• The hosts discuss how, once someone gets to the point of tailing, trust in the relationship is fundamentally broken.
• They recognize that trailing is typically a last resort when someone feels their partner isn’t being honest, and they need to see proof for themselves.

[11:39] Bert: “If you’re tailing, it’s done. Isn’t the relationship over if you’ve got to tail somebody?” [13:27] Co-Host: “Because most people aren’t honest...that’s why I think that the trailing comes in, you know, or tailing.”

• There’s general agreement that cheating irreparably damages trust. Even if a relationship continues, suspicion is never fully gone.

[15:56] Bert: “...You screw around one time, forget it. You could try to stay together...but there will always be in the back of your mind that distrust. It is never ever the same.”

6. Returning to Jonathan

• Jonathan calls back; after all the anxiety, his wife simply took their daughter to school.
• Despite this, he remains unsure, indicating that once trust is broken, even innocent actions can seem suspicious.

[14:23] Bert: “Isn't the letter itself incriminating enough to where you wouldn't have to like see it?...you saw it in the letter, dude.” [16:17] Co-Host: “Have you talked to her, just point blank about her having an affair right now or the fact that you think the marriage is over?” [16:44] Jonathan: “Well, then if she’s not, then I guess I’m just overreacting.”

• The hosts empathize, acknowledging the pain and uncertainty, but assert the need for resolution, either through honest conversation or acceptance that the mistrust is itself a fatal problem.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:49] “When your father was cheating on me, I used to follow him all the time. I know my stuff.” – (From Desperate Housewives clip, setting tone for episode.)
• [04:33] “I'm doing it right now as we speak.” – Jonathan, describing live tailing.
• [11:39] “If you're tailing, it's done. Isn't the relationship over if you've got to tail somebody?” – Bert, summarizing the cost of lost trust.
• [15:02] “Having to live with that kind of distrust when you're on the road...your mind is probably going way crazier than the reality of it.” – Bert, empathizing with Jonathan.
• [16:56] “Yeah, you have a big problem. You still got a big problem, bro. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? ...if you're tailing her right now, and the good news is she's not screwing around, you still have business to take care of, you know?” – Bert, on the futility of suspicion without trust.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------| | 02:07 | Bert introduces the “tailing” topic | | 04:22 | Jonathan calls in and reveals he's tailing wife | | 08:15 | Jesse shares stepdad’s story tailing her mom | | 09:50 | Wade’s account of catching wife with neighbor | | 11:52 | Veronica’s story of husband & cousin in motel | | 13:47 | Hosts reflect on why people tail their partners | | 14:00 | Jonathan updates: wife went to daughter's school | | 15:02 | Bert and co-hosts discuss aftermath of discovering trust issues | | 16:56 | Final advice and reflections for Jonathan |

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Tone and Takeaways

The tone is candid, empathetic, and at times darkly humorous, but always authentic to the show’s conversational style. Listeners and hosts alike reveal raw pain, shock, and the destructive power of mistrust. The episode underlines how easily suspicion can become a self-fulfilling spiral, making clear that infidelity—real or suspected—often puts relationships past a practical point of no return. At its core, the discussion becomes less about the act of tailing and more about the deeper, sometimes irreparable, wounds that drive people to such extremes.

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Summary

This episode gives a raw, honest look into the lengths people will go when they’ve lost trust in a relationship. Through real-time calls, deeply personal anecdotes, and sharp on-air analysis, The Bert Show explores just how common—and devastating—acts of tailing, suspicion, and betrayal are behind closed doors. No matter the outcome, the consensus is clear: when trust is shattered, the real problem isn’t just finding proof—it’s repairing, or letting go of, the relationship itself.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[C]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[B]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[C]

We'Ll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right. So the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[B]

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[C]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as as long as there are things to get wrong, we're gonna be right here to help you do em better.

[D]

The Bird Show. Alright, but getting with the show. Now follow this storyline and we're gonna need some real honesty from women this morning. Cause y' all are gonna have to call yourselves out for being crazy, if you've ever done this. But can you explain the whole Teri Hatcher and Mike Delfino storyline going on?

[A]

Jen?

[E]

It's kind of a long storyline, but basically, Teri Hatcher's character is dating the sexy plumber down the street. And they've had this on, off, again relationship because she doesn't trust him. He's involved in, like, this murder scandal and had been arrested in his past. And he wasn't upfront with her and wasn't honest with her at the beginning of the relationship, but now she knows the whole story now. They're dating again, and they're just. They've just decided to move in together. So they just decided to move in together. And as they're moving, she finds something in his car. She finds this diary, this journal in his car that makes her suspicious of him again. So she decides to trail him.

[D]

She literally gets in her car with her daughter and in the passenger seat and is, like, sitting low in the car and they are trailing her boyfriend because she doesn't trust him.

[F]

Mom, stalking? Are we really doing this? You just made such a huge deal to your friends about how much you trust him now. Well, that was before I found Mrs. Hoover's journal in his truck. I would bet you anything he is not going on a plumbing job, and we're going to find out. Mom.

[D]

If you don't trust him, why.

[F]

Are you moving in with him? I don't have time to explain adult relationships to you. Oh, duck down. I think you lost him. He's six cars up. We have to stay this far back or he'll see us. Okay, great. But we can't see him either.

[D]

I gotta tell you, mom, you're not great at this.

[F]

Oh, yeah? When your father was cheating on me, I used to follow him all the time. I know my stuff.

[D]

Okay, so that's where we're at. So here's the honesty I want. And I think we've got to separate the two and define them. I'm not looking for stalking calls. Like you stayed outside of his apartment and watched the light go on and off to see what he was doing. I'm talking about literally getting in your car and following your boyfriend or your husband. Because you had that much distrust, you tailed him. Has anybody ever done that? Listening right now. I. Voice disguiser. We're going to call you Jonathan.

[E]

Sorry. Jonathan, do a check real quick.

[G]

Yeah, I'm here.

[D]

All right, hold on one sec. Jonathan. All right, Jonathan, you are on the voice disguise or nobody could recognize your Voice.

[G]

All right, I'm doing it right now as we speak.

[H]

You're tailing your girlfriend right now?

[G]

My wife.

[D]

Oh, give us some history.

[G]

It's been about seven years we've been married. Three kids. I don't know c Della before. And let her get away with it this time? I just, I'm fed up.

[H]

So what got you to the point of tailing her?

[G]

I just gotta know for sure. She's lying. Just lying.

[D]

How do you know? Like what has she done over the last couple of days to make you think that she's cheating? And how do you. And why do you think she's gonna go to the place right now?

[G]

Well, because I work out of town a lot and her and her mom have plotted against me before and I work and I constantly work. She uses that as an excuse, you know. Oh, you working all the time. That was the two excuses the time before. Now I'm just, I'm fed up with it because there's possibly another person out there for me and I want to know. And I don't want to waste my time anymore on this one. I do have three beautiful babies.

[H]

But you know, how is her mother involved? Why would her mother endorse her having an affair in her marriage?

[G]

Oh, she's crazy.

[D]

So you're literally right now, you're right, you're right behind your wife. Or is she two cars in front of you?

[G]

Or she's about like five, five or six.

[E]

Five cars in front of you. And where do you think she's going?

[G]

She was supposed to take my, my daughter to school.

[F]

Uh huh.

[H]

And did she?

[G]

No.

[D]

So where's your daughter?

[G]

I don't know. Probably in the car with her. She'd probably check her in late. But like right now, as of right now, she's totally gone like 20 minutes out of her way.

[D]

And you have no idea where she's going and you're convinced she's gonna go see some dude that she's been seeing. Why would she do that with her? With your kids in the car though?

[G]

I don't know. I asked the same question myself. You know, this is why I gotta know. Cause I can't be with somebody like this.

[D]

Sure. I can't.

[E]

So I mean, I'm gonna ask Bert's question again cause you didn't really answer it. What's tipped you off that she's cheating?

[G]

I found note. She's the kind of person who will write everything down. And we just moved into a new place recently, about a month ago. So we're still doing the unpacking stuff.

[D]

And.

[G]

It, you know, there's a note on the ground. And, you know, I, I look, I picked it up, I looked at it, started reading it, and she got real mad and upset, took it, ripped it up, threw it in the garbage.

[D]

What did it say in that letter?

[G]

Just, I can't wait to see you. Hopefully he doesn't come home this week.

[D]

I'd throw up as I was reading that I would throw.

[H]

Now, we talked before. We've had conversations before about once someone has cheated on you, you never fully trust them again. And you say this has happened before. So, I mean, I take it you haven't been able to trust her since you found out the first time.

[G]

That's why I'm following her.

[B]

That's why.

[D]

Well, that in a note.

[E]

Sure.

[D]

Hey, Jonathan, what I want to do is, can I put you on hold and take a couple calls and come back to you?

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

All right. Hold on one second. So this dude's in pursuit right now? Right now his wife has five cars in front of him. He's convinced that his wife is screwing around on him. He's gonna catch her today. I'll take a couple more calls. We don't need the voice disguiser for. Then go back to Jonathan. Good morning, Jesse. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[F]

Good morning.

[D]

Good morning. Good morning. That's a conversation start. You say good morning. We say good morning, and you just go right on in.

[F]

Okay. This is actually my stepdaddy stalking my mama.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

This was on Saturday. This was when I was about 16, and they have a daughter together. She was a little bitty baby. And my mama was going to the tanning bed. My mom left the house. And then my stepdad asked me to watch my little sister and left. And I didn't think anything of it. Well, it turns out that he had followed her to the tanning bed. And he got to the tanning bed, and mom, as mom was walking in, another guy had held open the door for her. A guy she had no. Has never even met in her life. Well, my stepdaddy got this man's tag number, and his uncle is a deputy sheriff in Douglasville. Ran the man's tag number, got his name and phone number and address, and was, like, throwing it up in my mom's face. And my mom's like, I don't even know that man. I don't. You know, she had never seen him before, so.

[D]

So he got jealous. Just because a guy opened a door for.

[F]

Yeah. And yeah. And I don't know if my mom. From what I know, I didn't cheat on him at all, you know, but. And I don't know why he would think that she was.

[E]

Well, you don't come up with that out of thin air.

[H]

Yeah. And if you were 16, then, yeah, there's probably a lot you didn't know.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Good morning, Wade. You're on all the hits. Q100 high.

[I]

Hey, Bert.

[D]

How are you, sir?

[I]

Just doing all right.

[D]

You've done this yourself?

[I]

Oh, yeah. About three years ago. I used to work out of town, and then when I got into town, my wife was acting strange and, you know, wouldn't do the same thing she would do. So my sister had my daughter one night, and I asked her to pick up my daughter for me, and she made a big deal about it, and it was kind of strange she doing that. So what I did was I jumped in my neighbor's truck and went to her job to see why she was working late. And as I was pulling in, she was pulling out. And I followed her to a restaurant where she met my neighbor.

[D]

Ah, that feeling you must get in your pit of your stomach when you. When.

[I]

Oh, yeah. You know, this guy is a friend of mine. Yeah, we had barbecues together, you know, hang out. His wife, my wife, our kids. And I watched him for about 30 minutes, hugging and kissing in the booth. And.

[D]

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

[I]

Then I walked in.

[E]

What was your first line? What'd you say?

[I]

He said to me he would never do a thing like that. You know, he told me that years ago when we first met, because his wife used to tell me that he's a cheater. And he used to cheat on her all the time and beat her up. So he. I used to confide in him, and him and my wife got really close when I was out of town. And when I walked in, I think she just. All the blood in her face just left.

[D]

The thing is, if you're tailing, it's done. Isn't the relationship over if you've got to tail somebody?

[H]

I think that's a last resort.

[D]

That's it.

[H]

I think that's the last resort where you're trying to find proof to leave.

[E]

You gotta see it with your own eyes if you're tailing somebody.

[D]

Good morning, Veronica. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[F]

Good morning.

[G]

Hi.

[F]

Well, what happened is I worked third shift, and my husband, he worked, like, whenever, because he was a contractor and my best friend was my cousin. And I told her everything. And I keep telling her I think my husband is cheating on me. And she's like, oh, I don't think so. And I keep telling her like, oh, I'm gonna probably follow him one day. And she's like, no, that's a bad idea. And one day I called my husband and I said I'm gonna be late, you know, from coming home. And I borrow my. One of my employees car and we kind of swap cars. And I was at the house waiting for him to go because he's supposed to leave at 7 in the morning. And he left and I follow him because he's supposed to be going to work. He pulled in to a motel and my cousin was like, she was smoking. She was waiting for him outside. And they both went in and they stayed there for like about an hour. And I was just so frustrated. I was not sure what to do. So I was just, you know, waiting, waiting. And then after an hour they came out and they were kissing and hugging and I had a camera and I also took pictures and went to my lawyer and I filed for divorce.

[D]

And that was it. Good for you.

[H]

Yeah, good for you.

[F]

It was a really shock because I would never, never thought that my cousin could do that.

[D]

You think all this stuff only happens in TV shows or in the movies, you know, that your cousin would be behind it?

[H]

Because most people aren't honest. And most people. I. Not in those situations. Most people aren't honest when they're confronted with it. Like if a husband goes to a wife and says, are you cheating on me? Then they're like, well, of course I'm not. And if you're at the point where you know something's wrong and they're not telling you and you've given them the opportunity. That's why I think that the trailing comes in, you know, or tailing.

[D]

So let's go back to Burke show listener Jonathan when we started this whole thing, because this just came from Desperate Housewives last night. And then Jonathan here calls up and says, I'm doing it right now. I am tailing my wife. I'm sure she's screwing around on it. Hey, Jonathan, you still there?

[G]

Yeah, I'm here.

[D]

Still following her.

[G]

Yeah. But she wound up going to the school.

[D]

She did?

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[H]

I don't know, maybe she's just trying to avoid traffic is why she went out of her way. Well, I mean, but like we said, if you get to the point of tailing, then something's wrong. I mean, obviously you are just trying to find a Concrete reason to leave sounds like.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Isn't the letter itself incriminating enough to where you wouldn't have to like see it? Like you. I mean, you know, man, I mean, you saw it in the letter, dude.

[G]

She said that it was old, that was from when she cheated on me before and that she just didn't throw it away. And I don't. I don't believe that. I just really don't.

[H]

Women, women don't just inadvertently keep letters like that. It's not just an accident. So.

[G]

And when I say I work out of town, I work in town, but I'm gone from five, I don't get home until nine, ten o' clock at night. And it's like, you know, I'm never there, I'm never at home.

[H]

That sucks.

[D]

Having to live with that kind of distrust when you're on the road. And I mean, because your mind is probably going way crazier than the reality of it. You know, like you're thinking they're on the phone with each other all the time and it's probably not like that.

[E]

You know, you can hear it in his voice. You can hear the pain just in the way that you're talking. Jonathan, we can hear how painful this is for you.

[G]

Oh, believe me, I wish I could just get it over with and, you know, just find out one way or another. Because I mean, if this isn't. She's living the life. She doesn't have to work, she doesn't have to do anything. She just, you know, her man goes out and works and all I ask of her is take care of my babies.

[D]

I feel so betrayed. Oh, so betrayed.

[E]

It makes my stomach hurt. Like, you know, you get that pain in your gut when you have that.

[D]

Yeah, I bet. Man, I'm sorry.

[E]

It's like I'm having like the sympathy pains for you.

[D]

This does go back to that conversation we have time and time again. You screw around one time, forget it. You could try to stay together. You stay together for the babies. You try to get everything healthy, but there will always be in the back of your mind that distrust. It is never ever the same.

[H]

Have you, have you talked to her? Just point blank about her having an affair right now or the fact that you think the marriage is over?

[G]

Yeah, and every time I do, it upsets her. She gets upset. She. She wants to just ignore it. She gets stone faced and just quits talking.

[F]

I can't believe you're accusing me. Blah, blah, blah.

[G]

And so what if she, what if.

[H]

She'S not having an affair.

[G]

Well, then if she's not, then I guess I'm just overreacting.

[D]

Y' all still got a problem. Yeah, you have a big problem. You still got a big problem, bro. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I mean, if you're tailing her right now, and the good news is she's not screwing around, you still have business to take care of, you know?

[H]

Yeah.

[G]

Yeah.

[H]

You still have to have a conversation, you know?

[D]

All right, Jonathan. Sorry, ma'.

[F]

Am.

[G]

No problem.

[H]

Good luck.

[A]

Bye.

[D]

Bye. Yeah, once you cheat, it's gone.

[H]

Because the thing, like with him, you cheat, I mean, or you're tailing somebody and you want. You want to see it for yourself, but then when you don't, you're almost disappointed, even though you shouldn't be. But he's.

[D]

He's looking to get out.

[H]

He's disappointed because she went to the.

[D]

School, like she said, looking to get out.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

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[C]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah.

[B]

And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[C]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[B]

But who isn't? That's why each week, we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[C]

We'Ll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right. So the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[B]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[G]

Love y'.

[H]

All.

[E]

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