Vault: Her Boyfriend Is Against Her Visiting Someone Overseas

Summary

The Bert Show: “Vault: Her Boyfriend Is Against Her Visiting Someone Overseas”

Aired: February 9, 2026
Main Theme:
A listener seeks advice on whether she should travel overseas to meet a longtime online friend, despite her boyfriend’s objections. The show discusses the safety, trust, and relationship dynamics involved in meeting internet friends abroad.

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Main Discussion:

[00:00–00:41] Listener “Julia” Calls In

• Context: Julia, on voice disguiser, explains she’s been playing a text-based role-playing game for ten years and formed a close friendship with a woman in England.
• Julia’s now ready and financially able to visit her friend, who has invited her to stay with her family.
• Julia details that her boyfriend, from the start of their relationship, has always been strongly against her traveling to meet this online friend:

  "My boyfriend, when I first told him about this when we first started dating, he was like, oh, heck no. 'You cannot go over there.'" — Julia [00:33]

• Julia admits she's so drawn to making the trip that she's considered going without telling her boyfriend the true purpose.

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Exploring the Online Friendship

[00:41–01:53] How Did They Meet?

• Julia elaborates on their origin: a “triple dorkorama” text-based RPG set in 1600s France; what started as a game became a real friendship.
• She emphasizes the genuine connection:

  "I've been talking to her for about 10 years, and we're the same age, and I really, really want to go visit her..." — Julia [00:32]

• The hosts, not all familiar with online gaming, ask for clarity over how online friendships like this develop and evolve.

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Safety Concerns & Listener Reactions

[01:53–04:25] Initial Host Opinions

• Bert (Host A) is relaxed about the travel, noting dangers exist everywhere, not just overseas.
• Several co-hosts and callers acknowledge concerns, but many are reassured by the decade-long friendship.
• Notable Quote:

  “If you guys have exchanged phone numbers and pictures and emails and all that kind of stuff, then I think you're probably pretty safe...” — Co-host [03:17]

• General advice: have a backup plan (hotel, alternate stay) in case things get uncomfortable.
• Jeff (C) remains cautious, stressing the difference between online and in-person relationships:

  “What if you get over there and on day two, the person's weird or...you know them online for 10 years. I just think that's a different relationship.” — Jeff [04:27]

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Cautious Advice & Real Experiences

[04:25–05:36] Balancing Excitement and Risk

• One suggestion: bring the boyfriend along for the first trip, or plan a short visit before staying longer.
• Another: stay the first nights in a hotel, then transition to the friend’s home if things feel right.

[05:36–06:09] Real-Life Example:

• Sean, a caller, recounts his positive experience visiting an online friend in Sweden:

  “I played an online role-playing game for about two years and I went over to Sweden and actually stayed with the guy that I met there through the game for about a week...It was a great, great trip.” — Sean [05:39]

[06:16–06:59] Encouragement from Sweden:

• Another caller, Myra, encourages Julia to go, sharing her own experience meeting an online boyfriend’s family in Scotland:

  “Go and have a great time. I dated a guy from Scotland that I met online for five years and went over to visit his family...it was wonderful.” — Myra [06:34]

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Remaining Reservations

[07:00–07:44] Voices of Caution

• Shawna, a cautious caller, advises against Julia traveling alone:

  “She should not go by herself...She still does not know that person and that person's motives. I think she should go with her boyfriend...It's very dangerous.” — Shawna [07:04]

• Hosts challenge whether it’s plausible someone could maintain an ulterior motive for 10 years, but Shawna remains firm:

  “People run game.” — Shawna [07:28]
  “Even for 10 years, you don’t know a person until you meet them.” — Shawna [07:31]

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Additional Context

[07:46–08:08] Clarifying the Friendship’s Origins

• Julia met her friend at age 15; they’re now both in their twenties, emphasizing the long-term, platonic roots of their bond.
• The hosts collectively feel reassured given the duration and the nature of their friendship.

  “They were, like, kind of like teenager friends.” — Host [07:56]

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Notable Quotes

• Julia: "I'm basically going to take a trip. I really don't want to tell him where." [00:40]
• Host: "There are scary people everywhere. There's scary people here in Atlanta." [03:27]
• Co-host: "If you guys have exchanged phone numbers and pictures and emails and all that kind of stuff, then I think you're probably pretty safe." [03:17]
• Sean (Caller): "I played an online role-playing game for about two years and I went over to Sweden and actually stayed with the guy that I met there through the game... It was a great, great trip." [05:39]
• Myra (Caller from Sweden): "Go and have a great time...You're going to love going to Great Britain. It's a fantastic place." [06:33]
• Shawna (Caller): "Even for 10 years, you don’t know a person until you meet them. And even then, you still might not know them." [07:31]

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Key Takeaways

• Long-Term Online Friendships: Most hosts and listeners agree that a ten-year online friendship provides a reasonable level of trust, especially when backed by photos, calls, and extensive communication.
• Personal Safety: Always have a backup plan—train tickets, a hotel, keeping in touch with family, or considering bringing someone along.
• Relationship Dynamics: Julia’s concern about her boyfriend’s refusal to support the trip highlights potential relationship stress, especially about trust and independence.
• Mixed Listener Experiences: Some shared positive stories, encouraging Julia, while others urged caution and contingency planning.
• Tone: Friendly, playful banter mixed with genuine concern and detailed practical advice.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:15]: Julia introduces her situation and dilemma.
• [01:39]: Julia discusses the boyfriend's reaction.
• [03:37]: Hosts list safest countries for U.S. travelers.
• [04:27]: Jeff explains skepticism of online-to-real life relationships.
• [05:36]: Sean shares successful online friend meet-up story.
• [06:29]: Myra provides optimistic international perspective.
• [07:04]: Shawna urges maximum caution.
• [07:52]: Julia clarifies her and her friend’s age at the start of friendship.

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Summary:
The Bert Show’s discussion around Julia’s overseas travel dilemma delves into the complexities of blending online friendships with real-life connections and navigates concerns around safety, relationship trust, and embracing new experiences. The panel and listeners ultimately present a broad spectrum of views, from encouragement and practical advice to firm caution, offering Julia—and listeners—a nuanced perspective on meeting beloved online friends in person.

Transcript

[A]

The bird show. Not exactly sure how long she's been playing video games online with this other woman who's, like, halfway around the world.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

But they've formed a friendship, and she's getting ready to go over there and just take off and hang out with her for a while. Here's Julia. Hey, Julia.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Hi. You're on the Voice Disguiser. How are you?

[D]

I'm doing well. I love your show. Listen to it every morning with my boyfriend.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

All right, so you started playing video games online.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And what's your.

[D]

Actually, I'm sorry, When I was in high school and that was probably 10 years ago. Well, we just. I don't know, because when I moved here, I was really depressed and I needed, you know, just a little outlet just to have fun because I wasn't really making friends here. So I just made some friends online. And this one girl I've been talking to, been talking to her for about 10 years, and we're the same age, and I really, really want to go visit her, but she lives in England and it's. You know, I'd stay with her family. The only thing I'd have to pay for, really, is a plane ticket and maybe my, you know, some meals and whatever we wanted to do out there. But of course, my boyfriend, when I first told him about this when we first started dating, he was like, oh, heck no. Why? I don't. You know, you cannot go over there. This is like a month and we're dating. I was like, what? Yeah, okay, well, whatever. But now I have the opportunity to do it because I have the money to do it now. And I really want to go, like, to the point where I am willing to say, like, okay, well, I'm basically going to take a trip. I really don't want to tell him where.

[A]

All right, first of all, you got to explain the whole deal to me because I don't go online and play video games. So when you're online and you're playing video games, not only are you guys competing against each other, but. But I'm assuming then you guys start exchanging emails and you become friends that way.

[D]

Okay. Okay. So this is like, wow, triple dorkorama type stuff, but it's a text based game, or it was. Then it's still on. So I'll give you the link if you wanted. But it's basically a text based role playing game where you're like, this one's based in France, like in the 1600s or whatever. You just kind of role play, like, that and they're like little quests that you do. It's kind of like World of Warcraft without the visual.

[A]

Okay, all right.

[D]

Imagine that. And then yeah, we just start talking and then it turns in like at first it was, you know, just playing game but then it turned into like this a big chat room for everyone just to talk.

[A]

I gotcha. Alright.

[D]

That's how we, you know.

[B]

But you said that you've communicated with her for 10 years, right? Is that what you said?

[D]

Yeah, almost 10 years.

[B]

And you, and you can stay with her and her family in England. Yeah, mean, so you, you feel like you need to lie to your boyfriend because he's so weirded out by it. But do you feel uncomfortable doing that?

[D]

No, because again dork. But I've met people from online. Like my first boyfriend I met, I don't know if it's online dating service and it was, you know, horrible. But you know, I've met other people from online and I met some people from that game and I mean it was fine but the only thing like is, you know, going to a whole different continent. And my boyfriend's opinion was, well, you know, you don't know anything, you know, country. But I'm like, well at least it's a place I'm going where I know the language.

[B]

England, it's not like it's real scary place. I mean, you know, I mean there.

[A]

Are scary people everywhere. There's scary people here in Atlanta.

[B]

Yeah, but it just, it's not like if all the countries to go to and feel intimidated. I would think England would be the least intimidating of the world based for.

[A]

Americans, you know, Canada probably ranks number one. Canada, then England, then you got England. Yeah, but Jen and Jeff were the ones that their knee jerk reaction was what, this kind of dangerous? Nah.

[E]

Well, I didn't realize she had known her for 10 years. That definitely changes it for me that if you've been talking to this girl and been friends with her for that long, then she's legit. I thought maybe you met her like a month ago and she was like, yeah, come on over. And then when you show up, she's not a she, she's a 68 year old creepazoid. You know what I mean? I just was saying you should be cautionary if you didn't know who you were really going over there to meet. But if you guys have exchanged phone numbers and pictures and emails and all that kind of stuff, then I think you're probably pretty safe. I mean, have a couple things in place Maybe a second place to stay if you get there and you're uncomfortable.

[A]

What was your knee jerk reaction there, Jeff?

[C]

Well, I just think that it's always dangerous when you go over with. And you might be able to fill in details that would be more reassuring. But I think it's dangerous to go over to another country and go far away, planning on staying with somebody for an entire week. And like, what if you get over there and on day two, the person's weird or, you know, you know them online for 10 years. I just think that's a different relationship. And please don't email me and talk to me about how you met your husband online. That's fantastic for you. Congratulations.

[D]

What they do, if it was a.

[B]

Pin, if it's a pen pal situation where, you know, girls have been pen palling, you'd still have the same reservations.

[C]

Go on a trip to England with your boyfriend and then stop in and see, stop in and see her. And then if everything goes great, maybe next year, then you go back and you stay with her for a week. But I just think it's, it's dangerous in this day and time.

[A]

I got no beef with it. Maybe as a contingency backup plan, like at a hotel for the first night or two and then see how it goes. Maybe handle it the same you would as if you were hanging out with a guy. But I'm just not nervous about it at all, especially 10 years. Hey, Sean.

[F]

Hey.

[A]

Hey.

[F]

Yeah, I actually, I played an online role playing game for about two years and I went over to Sweden and actually stayed with the guy that I met there through the game for about a week. And I mean, it went great. No problems. He took me out around the country and showed me sites and everything, bought me food. So I mean, it was a great, great trip.

[A]

No problems.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Smelled my hair, cut my toenails for me.

[B]

Yeah. Not everybody's creepy though.

[C]

Rubbed.

[B]

But I understand the reservation, but in this situation, I don't see. I don't know, I. I just don't think that she's going to be unsafe.

[G]

I just want to let you know, I just want to smell your hair. I've seen it and I just want to smell it.

[F]

Dude.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

Good morning, Myra here in Sweden. Good morning, myra. You're on Q100.

[D]

Hi.

[G]

I just wanted to tell Julie to not be scared as long as you stay in contact with your family and they know where you are and you phone them every couple of days or whatever to go and have a great time. I dated A guy from Scotland that I met online for five years and went over to visit his family and meet them and everything, and it was wonderful. You're going to love going to Great Britain. It's a fantastic place. There's so much to do. And if you have a free place to stay, gosh, that's awesome.

[A]

Shawna here is a little bit more cautious.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Hey, Shawna.

[D]

Hey.

[A]

Hola.

[H]

She should not go by herself. I've had a friend to be in that situation. She still does not know that person and that person's motives. I think she should go with her boyfriend and do the other thing and then meet him and maybe go back. It's very dangerous.

[A]

Do you think somebody would, like, have an ulterior motive after a decade of talking to you on the phone?

[H]

Absolutely. People run gang.

[A]

Oh, hey, for 10 years.

[H]

Yes. Even for 10 years, you don't. You don't know a person until you meet them. And actually. And even then, you still might not know them. I just think that's dangerous for her to go so far away from home, from anybody she knows.

[E]

What is our listener on the voices geyser again?

[A]

Julia.

[E]

Julia, at what age did you meet your friend? How old were you when y' all met?

[D]

When we first started playing the game, I was 15.

[B]

15.

[E]

They were like, kind of like teenager friends.

[A]

How old is your friend?

[D]

She is 24, about the same age.

[A]

Met when she was 14 online.

[E]

I just think there's no problem with it.

[B]

It's just a Now is the time where you actually have the money to go and visit the Birch Show.