THE BERT SHOW
Episode: Vault: Her Boyfriend Wants Her To Pay His Debt?!
Date: February 11, 2026
Episode Overview
In this episode, a listener named Angela (voice undisguised) seeks advice from The Bert Show crew on a thorny financial and relationship dilemma: her long-term boyfriend, who she shares a child with, wants her to use a recent $50,000 settlement to pay off his (and their) accumulated debt—despite five years together, no marriage, and unresolved questions of true commitment. The discussion dives deep into boundaries, trust, fairness, and the intersection of money and partnership outside wedlock, with hosts and listeners weighing in on what, if anything, she owes, both emotionally and financially.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Angela's Situation: Love, Commitment, and Debt
-
Angela and her partner have been together for five years and share a child but aren't married.
- Marriage was discussed in the relationship's early days, but he has since bailed on the idea.
- (01:25) Angela: “Marriage was brought up like the first two years in our relationship. And then he kind of like bailed out on the idea recently, but yet he is in debt and it's considered our debt to him."
-
The debt in question is substantial ($30,000), and Angela has received a $50,000 settlement from a car accident.
- She feels she owes part of the debt (~$15,000), as her partner supported her during times she was unemployed or on maternity leave.
- (01:48) Host: “So how much of this $20,000 debt is yours?”
Angela: "It's a little more than $20,000… maybe around 15."
-
Angela’s concern over commitment:
- She desires a formal commitment (“some kind of major commitment”), but her boyfriend’s aversion to marriage leaves her feeling exposed—especially if she wipes out debt with no legal bond.
- (02:20) Angela: “He could bail out at any moment, and then I would be the single mother struggling.”
Host Panel's Perspectives: Trust, Leverage, and Partnership
-
Are they a true partnership?
- Hosts question whether sharing finances without a legal commitment is equitable or risky.
- (03:26) Host: "He wants everything that married people share... Yet he hasn't proposed to you, right?"
-
Using debt as leverage for marriage?
- The panel debates whether Angela should leverage the payment for a proposal—but consensus leans against this as a healthy approach.
- (04:49) Angela: "I don't want to put that on somebody. I don't want to guilt them into it..."
-
Angela’s willingness and boundaries:
- She remains clear: she’ll pay what she thinks is hers, but doesn’t want the expectation to go beyond that without true partnership.
- (05:25) Angela: "I'll pay 15 and we'll see where things go after that point.”
Listener Call-ins: Real Life Parallels and Warnings
-
Caller 1 (Jennifer): Relates to Angela, also unmarried, sharing debt out of commitment.
- (06:00) Jennifer: "I feel like I'm there every day. It's just as much my responsibility to contribute as it is his. ...But it's really sad that she's putting money as a reason of commitment or non commitment."
- Contrasted by host Janice: “I think she's warranted in being concerned about it because he hasn't committed to her... she could take care of his debt and then he could take off.” (06:29)
-
Caller 2 (Kevin): Suggests practical steps—avoid leveraging money for marriage, cut up the credit cards, monthly payments if feels responsible.
- (08:07) Kevin: “If you got 30,000 worth of credit debt, you need to hack that card in half... make some monthly payments together... if you feel some of that debt is yours, that would be a great thing.”
-
Caller 3: Cautions specifically against expending her windfall.
- (11:10) Caller: “If she can determine how much... she owe[s]... she should pay maybe that much and leave it... But as far as paying his half of the debt, no, because I believe that he's going to dip on her.”
Memorable Moments & Quotes
- (03:02) Host 2: “This is the one thing that I just love where people say they're afraid to commit, but then they have a baby.”
- (05:52) Host 2 jokingly: "It's the down payment on commitment. $15,000 now and I'll get the other $15,000 to you later."
- (09:06) Angela, on trust: “He won’t make any kind of commitment with me because his fear is that I’m going to take all his stuff … but yet you want me to put myself out there and say, well, you can take mine.”
- (10:47) Host 3, joking about the settlement: “You got a $50,000 settlement for a broken nose? … I'm gonna go out there and wreck my car today for a couple reasons.”
Hosts' Final Consensus
- Angela should calculate and pay only her portion of the debt, if any.
- Keep the rest for herself and her child’s future, especially since her boyfriend avoids commitment.
- (11:54) Host 1: "Find out what your debt is, pay it, and then save the rest."
- (12:13) Host 3: "I wouldn't spend any money on bailing him out of the debt. I would maybe put a token toward it... And if we can get half of it gone in a year, then I'll consider paying the rest of it."
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 01:25 – Angela summarizes her relationship, child, and partner’s backing out of marriage
- 02:20 – Angela expresses concern about lack of legal commitment
- 03:26 – Panel discusses sharing finances versus legal partnership
- 04:49 – Talk around leveraging debt repayment for marriage
- 05:25 – Angela clarifies her limits on paying the debt
- 06:00 – Listener (Jennifer) calls in with a parallel experience
- 08:07 – Practical advice from Kevin on handling shared debt
- 09:06 – Angela voices trust issues about her boyfriend
- 11:10 – Final listener caller strongly advises against paying his debt
- 11:54-12:13 – Show wraps with hosts agreeing: Only pay your share, protect your assets
Conclusion
This episode thoughtfully unpacks boundaries of financial responsibility, love, and trust in contemporary relationships. The Bert Show deftly balances humor and real talk, ultimately urging Angela—and listeners in similar situations—to protect their financial well-being and not conflate relationship status with obligation, especially when true partnership is lacking.