Vault: How Did You Leave Your Kid Behind?

Summary

The Bert Show – “Vault: How Did You Leave Your Kid Behind?”

Date: December 29, 2025
Host: Bert (with callers)
Theme: Real-life "Home Alone" moments – parents and families share their stories of accidentally leaving behind kids, pets, and more.

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Episode Overview

In this lively, confessional episode, Bert and his audience recount tales of heart-stopping moments when parents (and, in some cases, entire groups) accidentally left children (or pets!) behind during travels or outings. Spurred by Bert’s own close call, listeners call in with a mix of humorous and anxiety-inducing experiences, emphasizing the chaos of busy lives and the miscommunications that often happen when you’re in a rush, traveling with multiple cars, or wrangling a crowd.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Close Call: Almost Leaving the Dog Behind

• Timestamp: 00:57
• Bert opens with an honest confession: nearly forgetting his dog during a hectic Thanksgiving trip in Charleston.
  • “We were this close to leaving our dog behind in Charleston.” – Bert (01:53)
• Sets the tone by asking parents if they’ve ever had a real-life "Home Alone" scenario, animal or human.

2. Listeners Share Childhood Horror Stories

A. Youth Group Field Trip Fiasco

• Timestamp: 02:26
• Caller shares her sister’s trauma: during a long church group trip, two buses assumed her sister was on the other one; she was left “hundreds of miles” from both home and the destination, stranded at a rest stop.
  • “She had to call my father who had to drive the hundred or so miles to go pick up my sister ... she sat and watched TV for a couple hours till my father was able to get there.” – Caller 1 (02:34)

B. Mall Mayhem – Black Friday Mix-up

• Timestamp: 03:12
• Restaurant worker recounts a party of 18 at a mall. Midway through their meal, they realize “little Tommy” is missing; they had left him at a different mall during a Santa photo op on Black Friday.
  • “He was sitting at the fountain just waiting for them – panic, man, he was like eight years old.” – Caller 2 (03:58)
• The panel expresses relief and laughter but acknowledges the underlying panic.

C. The Two-Car Dilemma

• Timestamp: 04:07
• Several stories underscore the chief dangers of group travel in multiple vehicles.
  • Caller recounts driving from Vermont to Houston with two cars, accidentally leaving her two-year-old at a gas station miles back because each parent thought he was in the other car.
    • “He was back there with those people … those gas station people.” – Caller 4 (04:52)
  • Bert and others emphasize the confusion: “It’s the two-car thing. Miscommunication between cars.” – Bert (05:52)

D. Baby on the Roof

• Timestamp: 06:01
• New mom, in a flurry of multitasking, puts her two-month-old baby (in a carrier) on the roof of her car, almost drives away before realizing.
  • “She left him on the roof of the car in the carrier. … That’s how we gave her the nickname ‘Ding Dong’ because she is completely dingy.” – Caller 3 (06:43)
  • Bert is aghast: “You’d be completely panicked as a parent. You’d be like, what kind of parent am I?” (06:53)

E. International Travel Scare

• Timestamp: 07:27
• Teenager left behind during a class trip to Madrid – classmates leave for the airport in taxis, forgetting her.
  • “I went down and all the taxis were gone … my teacher … realized that I wasn’t there.” – Caller 3 (07:51)
  • Laughter as Bert jokes, “You’re damn lucky they didn’t leave Spain without you.” (07:54)

F. Coats on the Baby

• Timestamp: 08:16
• Unique story: At a party, parents put their baby to sleep on a bed, guests pile their coats on the baby, and after drinking, everyone forgets the child.
  • “When they had a little too much to drink … had to call them and say you forgot your baby … as people started to pick up their coats, they’re like, there’s a baby under here!” – Caller 3 (08:36)
  • Show wraps with laughter and disbelief.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (01:53): “We were this close to leaving our dog behind in Charleston.”
• Caller 1 (02:34): "She had to call my father who had to drive the hundred or so miles to go pick up my sister ... she sat and watched TV for a couple hours till my father was able to get there."
• Caller 2 (03:58): “He was sitting at the fountain just waiting for them – panic, man, he was like eight years old.”
• Caller 4 (04:52): “He was back there with those people … those gas station people.”
• Bert (05:52): “It’s the two-car thing. Miscommunication between cars.”
• Caller 3 (06:43): “She left him on the roof of the car in the carrier. … That’s how we gave her the nickname ‘Ding Dong.’”
• Bert (06:53): “You’d be completely panicked as a parent. You’d be like, what kind of parent am I?”
• Caller 3 (08:36): “Had to call them and say you forgot your baby ... as people started to pick up their coats, they’re like, there’s a baby under here!”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:57 – Bert’s story about almost leaving the dog
• 02:26 – First listener shares field trip saga
• 03:12 – Mall “Tommy” incident
• 04:07 – Two-car confusion: child left at gas station
• 06:01 – “Baby on the roof” story
• 07:27 – Left behind in Spain after chaperoned trip
• 08:16 – Baby buried under party guests’ coats

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is fast-paced, full of laughter but also commiseration for parental panic. There’s a definite sense of honesty and vulnerability; callers and hosts admit past mistakes with self-deprecating humor and empathy. Bert and crew never shame—only relate, offering reassurance through shared human frailty.

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Takeaway

If you’ve ever had a “Wait! Where’s the kid?!” moment, you’re in substantial, if somewhat scatterbrained, company. The Bert Show’s cast and listeners use humor, candor, and community to cope with these parenting misadventures—and remind us that even the best-intentioned adults make panicked mistakes in the chaos of daily life.

Transcript

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[Bert]

Hey the bird show i need some honesty some honesty from parents i want to know if you guys have ever had a true to life home alone experience luckily it wasn't with my boy hayden he's two years old this was with the dog this we went down to charleston for thanksgiving and we brought the dog and we met our family down there and everything and you know that there's this panic that comes over you when you gotta hit the road on a day that's a busy travel day around the country when you know there's gonna be other people on the roads right you wanna get out of there as early as you can right so it's like nine o' clock and we're starting to panic already cause we know we're gonna hit traffic all the way from charleston back to atlanta so rushing running around trying to get the baby get all the baby stuff get the dog get the dog stuff let the dog out to go to the bathroom before we get in the car cause it's gonna be five hours in the car all right so we all pile in the car finally we get going and we're about two hundred yards down the road when i look in the rear view and there's my dog in the middle of the road like looking back like how about me y' all oh no poor guy nah i mean it was only like honestly it was only like one hundred fifty yards and i could still see him in the back but i mean we were this close to leaving our dog behind in charleston so i want to know if is there anybody listening that's ever left an animal behind or even worse yet has honestly ever left the house without your kid you got on the road and you realized however far you are on the road oh my god we forgot our back at the house.

[Caller 1]

Still traumatizing for my sister it wasn't my parents that did it but she was on a field trip with like a church group or something they had two buses and they were at a rest stop like i mean hundreds of miles from our hometown and hundreds of miles from the destination they were going about midway and one bus thought she was on the other one vice versa and so my sister was left at the rest stop and she had to call and they made it to the destination so the buses didn't come back to pick her up she had to call my father who had to drive the hundred or so miles to go pick up my sister at the restaurant and she sat in the you know the patrolman office of that rest area and had and sat and watched tv for a couple hours till my father was able to get there they were.

[Bert]

Gone hours before he realized it well.

[Caller 1]

Yeah yeah and unreal four zero four.

[Bert]

Seven four one one zero zero five.

[Caller 2]

I witnessed this last week i work at a restaurant in addition to this job and on friday black friday at the mall this family came in there was about a party it was a party of eighteen and they had like nine kids with them halfway through the meal somebody said well what did little tommy order and everybody looks around where's little tommy they had left him at another mall when they had gone to get pictures with santa they left him at the mall on black friday where all the people are and they didn't realize it till halfway through the meal.

[Bert]

Oh no so they went they drove to another mall went in the mall went up to have a meal and then halfway through the meal they realized.

[Caller 2]

That little tommy i mean it's not.

[Caller 1]

Funny but it's i'm assuming he's okay.

[Caller 2]

The first thing i did was laugh i felt bad but they found him everything was fine he was sitting at the fountain just waiting for them panic man he was like eight years old i know it was sad good morning.

[Caller 3]

You'Re on the burt show i had.

[Caller 4]

Two kids at the time and an infant and we were driving from vermont to houston and we had two vehicles and my husband and i were switching the kids the boys off between cars because of entertainment purposes right and we pulled into a gas station and the boys were arguing about who was going to go with who and i thought we had it all cleared up and we're driving down the road my husband thought that my middle son nathan who was two at the time was in my car i thought he was in his car he was in the gas station about four miles back i looked up and i saw in the truck that there was only one little boyhead and so i started flashing the light husband didn't see it ended up having to honk pull over and run up there and there's no child in the car there's only one little boy oh.

[Caller 1]

The panic oh my god he's two.

[Caller 4]

He'S back there with those people you know those gas stations on the side of the road when you're traveling middle of nowhere where the people have no.

[Bert]

Teeth those gas station people yes that.

[Caller 1]

Sit in the chairs leaned up against the outside wall and whittle this look.

[Caller 4]

On his face it was absolutely horrible.

[Bert]

It would take years to start laughing about it because you're probably so freaked.

[Caller 1]

Out but it's the two car thing the same with my sister i mean like yeah if you yeah and you're in a rush just like bert said if you're in a rush to get back on the road and you have.

[Bert]

Two cars man good morning all the.

[Caller 3]

Hits q one hundred this is lauren i had an experience like this once it was actually my best friend's parents we had gone out to colorado on a family vacation and we had stopped at a gas station and go to the bathroom and they left her in the bathroom and we had the two car thing again with the cb radios and we get about one hundred miles down the road and they look at me and they're like where's brandy and i was like i don't know i thought she was in the other car and they radioed the other car and she's not there and then they have to figure out what gas station it was that they had left her at one hundred miles back down the road.

[Bert]

Yeah it's the two car thing the two car theory again miscommunication between cars that's breaker one hundred ninety got a little dumpling in there with you or no morning all the hits q one.

[Caller 3]

Hundred hello hey this did not happen directly to me but my very best friend gave birth to my godson in new jersey in january so when he was approximately two months old she was getting him ready to take him for his doctor checkup whatever thingy and she got the car all ready had him in the little carrier thing goes outside sets him up on the hood of the car gets the seat ready everything or on the roof of the car rather gets in the car puts on her seatbelt cranks it up puts it in reverse and turns around to look out the back windshield and realizes that he's not in the backseat oh my god she left him on the roof of the car in the carrier oh my gosh needless to say that's how we gave her the nickname ding dong because she is completely dingy you'd be.

[Bert]

Completely panicked as a parent you'd be like what kind of parent am i.

[Caller 3]

You know oh exactly and in new jersey in january can you imagine nicole's.

[Bert]

On the hood nicole's on the hood of a car oh my god oh god thank you that'll happen thank god.

[Caller 1]

Drive off that's like what was what's.

[Bert]

The jackass jackass punks or whatever yeah.

[Caller 1]

They do they did one of those where they had a fake baby on the top of the roof but oh.

[Bert]

My god people were trying to flag down the car and they were yelling at the guy good morning jennifer you're on the burt show hi how are you doing all right thank you good.

[Caller 3]

Well when i was sixteen i took a trip with my spanish class to spain madrid spain and on the way back we were all supposed to meet the taxis downstairs and i was stuck in the i was in the room packing and i i went down and all the taxis were gone they'd already taken off to the airport now did.

[Caller 1]

They leave spain without you no they.

[Caller 3]

Were at the airport and my teacher he realized that i wasn't there they.

[Bert]

Also one of the taxis you're damn lucky they didn't leave spain without you.

[Caller 3]

See i hardly had any money left.

[Caller 1]

All these youth group trips this will make you never want to be a.

[Bert]

Chaperone on one of those things well.

[Caller 1]

You just have to really be care because if there is more than one vehicle you just assume if you don't see them they're in the other car and they're not they're somewhere else joyce.

[Bert]

Last call thank you for calling hi.

[Caller 3]

How are you this morning good thank you parents went to a party and laid me on the bed and everyone proceeded to lay their coats on me and when they had a little too much to drink went home and had to call them and say you forgot.

[Bert]

Your baby as people started to pick up their coats they're like there's a.

[Caller 3]

Baby under here right i see this all the time who's the first moron that threw their coat over you i have no idea.

[Caller 2]

God that's great beautiful.

[Bert]

Hey the bird show.

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