Podcast Summary: The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: How Do You Tell Someone They Gossip Too Much?
Date: February 5, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the entire Bert Show Cast
Main Theme & Purpose
This episode centers on the tricky issue of dealing with a chronic gossiper in one's friend group or workplace. The Bert Show hosts debate the nuances of gossip, where to draw boundaries, and how (or if) to confront habitual gossipers—especially when the gossip turns toxic or untrue. The cast also grapples with the ethics of intervening and the risks of further entangling oneself in drama.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Defining Gossip and Its Scope
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The conversation kicks off with a group member (A) describing a friend who "only knows how to talk by gossiping" and whose stories are often untrue.
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The hosts discuss whether all gossip is inherently negative and whether sharing good news without permission (e.g., someone's pregnancy) also counts as gossip.
"Gossip means gossip's negative. Right." — A (02:05)
"It's not your news to share, though." — C (02:23) -
Levels of Gossip: Some is considered “acceptable” (banter, sharing minor insights in close circles), while some is clearly not (spreading harmful or false rumors).
"There are levels of gossiping that are existing. Some are acceptable and some are not." — B (01:55)
2. When Gossip Crosses the Line
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The problematic friend spreads blatantly fabricated stories. The impact becomes harmful once made-up gossip starts affecting people the hosts know.
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A worries about complicity: does telling the people involved, or confronting the gossiper, just make them part of the drama?
"Do I have any sort of obligation to go to either A, the person who's gossiping... or B, the person that the stories are being told about..." — A (04:10)
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The dilemma is deepened by the classic risk in social dynamics: by getting involved, you risk becoming part of the very problem you’re trying to solve.
3. Should You Intervene? Approaches & Ethical Dilemmas
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Option 1: Confront the Gossiper: Hosts debate if it’s worth telling the gossiper they’re out of line—but acknowledge how hard or awkward this confrontation can be.
"I don't think you're capable of that conversation." — C (05:14)
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Option 2: Warn the Target: Others argue it might be ethical to warn the person being gossiped about—especially if the gossip is malicious or damaging.
"I would say you should tell the one being gossiped about if they are good friends… like, 'Hey, you need to know who you're dealing with here.'" — D (06:43)
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Option 3: Disengage & Stay Out: Some hosts recommend pulling back entirely, especially if the relationships are no longer close, to avoid fueling the drama.
"I think because the people that you're talking about aren't really important to you anymore. I think you just take yourself out of it." — C (05:43)
4. Risks of Getting Involved—Becoming Part of the Gossip
- Highlighting the "telephone game" effect, the hosts note that clarifying rumors can paradoxically make one more deeply tied to gossip, and sometimes backfire.
"If you point out that the part of the gossip is not true, then aren't you by setting the record straight, contributing to the gossip because you're validating what the true story is." — A (05:56)
- "If you get your hands in it, they're all gonna turn on you because they're still hanging out with each other." — C (06:17)
5. Listener Call-In Suggestions
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Mark (08:00): Suggests interrupting gossipers directly:
"Every time somebody's gossiping to you, just put your arm around them and tell them that you're talking about my friend, and they'll shut." — Mark (07:53)
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The cast jokes about the delivery and accent, bringing levity to the conversation.
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Cooper (08:18): Calls out the hosts for sounding like "girls" gossiping, prompting discussion on gender stereotypes and the idea that gossip is a "female" behavior (which the cast rejects).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- "Gossip's fun. Everybody likes to talk crap about everybody else. Makes you feel good, puts other people down, and what's not enjoyable about that, Right?" — A (00:17)
- "If you point out that the part of the gossip is not true, then aren't you by setting the record straight, contributing to the gossip?" — A (05:56)
- "It’s a two-way street. Of course it is. And I don’t have a life of their own..." — D (07:27)
- "Because then the only way to … If you point out that the part of the gossip is not true, then aren't you by setting the record straight, contributing to the gossip because you're validating what the true story is." — A (05:56)
- "Guys aren't supposed to talk about gossip." — Cooper (08:25), sparking awareness and pushback around gendered ideas about gossip.
Important Segment Timestamps
- 00:00–01:30: Defining the problem—when gossip crosses the line in friend or work circles.
- 02:00–02:45: Is all "news-sharing" gossip? Distinguishing good news versus bad, and the ethics of sharing.
- 04:10–05:56: The obligation to intervene—confronting the gossiper or warning the target.
- 06:15–07:30: Risks of involvement—becoming ostracized or fueling drama further.
- 07:53–08:13: Listener Mark shares his direct but sincere method for stopping gossip.
- 08:18–08:58: Cooper’s call and the gendered aspect of gossip.
Tone & Style
The episode is candid, irreverent, and self-aware, with hosts frequently poking fun at themselves while grappling with the social etiquette of gossip. The tone balances thoughtful reflection, genuine frustration, and plenty of humor.
Takeaway
The Bert Show team illustrates there’s no easy fix to stopping a chronic gossiper—especially when you're caught between protecting friends and avoiding deeper drama. Listeners are offered candid advice, humor, and reassurance that it’s okay (and often wisest) to step back entirely rather than getting stuck in the revolving door of gossip.
For further discussion or to share your own dilemmas, visit thebertshow.com or call 1-855-BertShow.
