Colleen (2:30)

So it doesn't necessarily have to be like a narrow, focused answer on how for him to last longer. But like if you, if your man was just not good in bed, he's strong in a lot of areas, but when he got to you, he was really bad and you changed him. And now he is like this amazing lover. You can't wait to make love to him. 404-741-Q100 where do you even start the conversation? Because with guys it's all about ego. We all think we're the best.

Derek (3:00)

I don't even know if that's possible.

Female Caller (3:01)

Like, I think you either have sexual chemistry or you don't. It's gotta be hard to change somebody. You just don't got it.

Derek (3:07)

Maybe if he had like a move that he thought was a really good move, like somebody in his past told him it was a good move, but you don't think it's a good move.

Colleen (3:14)

And it might have been for the other partner, she might have loved it.

Financial Advisor (3:17)

Right, right.

Derek (3:17)

Like that might be easier to talk about. Like one thing. Like, you know, maybe that worked for somebody else, but not for me.

Guest Commentator (3:23)

That thing you do with your legs and you squeal like a little girl.

Financial Advisor (3:25)

Not. That's not.

Guest Commentator (3:27)

Doesn't turn me on. Thank you, though. That's good. You know, good effort. Good effort.

Colleen (3:31)

Can't. Most people don't get better with like I'm, I mean, in most things, with proper instruction and practice.

Derek (3:37)

Yes.

Colleen (3:38)

So is sex one of those things or is it like either you're good at it or you're bad at it and you better find somebody that likes the crappy way you do it if you're doing it badly for others.

Emily (3:47)

I think there's always room for improvement. I always do. I do. I mean, seriously, I think that when. Because I think the beauty of being with somebody, if you're in a good relationship and you can have that conversation about sex, that it can get better. Because if you get in a routine then you might get bored, then you try something else. So that's gonna happen over time. And I think that, Yeah, I don't, I, I think that it's very short sighted to think you get with if there's chemistry. Like Wendy said, if you're there's attraction there and there's mutual attraction. Then to get in there and. And go one or two times and it's not good, and say, well, we're done, because you can't. It's just not going to work. I think you're.

Colleen (4:18)

I don't.

Emily (4:18)

I don't know. I think that's an opportunity you're wasting.

Colleen (4:20)

And let's just. Let's keep this just for singles, because I think once you're married, it's a different ball game.

Derek (4:26)

So you can talk about it.

Colleen (4:27)

I think you should be able to talk because. Yeah. I mean, should. Yeah, you should be able to. Stakes are a little different there. No one's going anywhere.

Emily (4:33)

You hope.

Colleen (4:34)

Yeah. Hypothetically.

Emily (4:35)

I've been on the show long enough.

Derek (4:36)

You hope.

Colleen (4:38)

Hey, annie, you're on Q100.

Female Caller (4:39)

Hi, guys.

Colleen (4:40)

Hey.

Female Caller (4:42)

Yeah, I have my boyfriend, who is a great boyfriend, but bless his heart, the first few times we were together, oh, my gosh. I mean, he's great in bed, but I don't know if I could say on the radio. But he never, you know, maybe climax.

Financial Advisor (5:00)

Yeah.

Female Caller (5:01)

So he would try, I guess. He's a mechanic, so, you know, he thinks I'm a carburetor or something. I don't know. Not the same.

Emily (5:12)

Oh, no.

Female Caller (5:13)

So, you know, the first time. First few times he was trying and I was like, you know, just kind of change, you know, change topic and kind of did something else. But, you know, we're together and I really like him and, you know, really want to be with him, but, you know, I can't keep doing this. So, you know, one time we were just in bed and, you know, I just did a pretty much instructional, you know, kind of video, like a mechanic, like a manual of me, and it really worked. And I.

Financial Advisor (5:45)

What's your.

Guest Commentator (5:45)

What's your first line, though?

Derek (5:47)

Like, what.

Guest Commentator (5:47)

When you guys are lying there in bed and you're like, okay, this is it. I'm going to give him the manual. What is your. What does page one say? What's your first line out of your mouth?

Female Caller (5:55)

Well, we're in bed and I just start giving him little tips, like, you know, move a little to the right or. But I start off really good with, you know, I really like this and this feels really good. And, you know, giving him encouragement. And then every once in a while, I'd kind of throw in like, a little softer, like this or, you know,

Colleen (6:20)

I don't know if I can say

Female Caller (6:21)

on the radio, but, like, you know, touch me a little here or Whatever. So, you know, I gave him lots of encouragement and everything, but then really just did, like, an instruction of, this is what I like. This is what I don't like.

Colleen (6:33)

So this is literally going on as it's happening. You are literally taking his hand and you are whispering to him. Everything he's doing, he should be doing.

Female Caller (6:40)

Yes. And it worked like a dream because he was happy because then he knows how I am, and then, you know, he. You know, it's great. So I'm very excited.

Emily (6:53)

Congratulations.

Guest Commentator (6:54)

Would you be willing to give lessons to any other guys if they call up?

Female Caller (6:59)

No. I love my boyfriend very much and

Colleen (7:02)

want to be with him if it doesn't work out. You know, we've always got an 8:45 segment, 40 on the show.

Emily (7:07)

The lesson is, though, that what works for her may not work for another woman.

Derek (7:10)

I think what will work for another woman, though, is what she said about encouragement. I think being positive about it rather than being critical, you know?

Emily (7:18)

And I think the other thing that

Derek (7:19)

can work is working it out during. While it's happening.

Colleen (7:23)

We want to. Please. It's just that you got to remember ego. I want to know everything. I just want to. I just don't want you to think that you are having a crappy time before. See, it's good now. I just wanted to get better.

Female Caller (7:36)

Right?

Derek (7:36)

Yeah.

Colleen (7:36)

It's not that it was bad. It's really good, but I'm just looking for another level.

Derek (7:40)

This is good, but maybe this would be really great. Exactly.

Emily (7:43)

Maybe that's great advice for women. What Bert just said is like putting the two together. What Jenna Burke said is the fact that instead of it being about, okay, we're changing something. Just saying, you know what? How about we do this, and it will intensify even more as if it was intense before. Even though you're lying.

Colleen (7:58)

Colleen, good morning. Here.

Derek (8:01)

Hey.

Male Caller (8:01)

Hey. It's actually Colin. I'm speaking on the mail end here.

Colleen (8:05)

Okay.

Emily (8:05)

Okay.

Male Caller (8:07)

But if you're not getting to that point from just the intercourse, try more. Try to push the foreplay more. I mean, it's like when you go to a restaurant and you get a steak and mashed potatoes, you eat the

Colleen (8:16)

steak first, but some dudes don't even know what to do with that.

Male Caller (8:19)

Well, yeah, right.

Derek (8:22)

But I think he has a good point. I mean, I think the warmup is more important for women than it is for men.

Colleen (8:27)

Sure.

Male Caller (8:28)

And then there's another thing. As a woman, if a guy is doing something right, make him note. You don't have to say It. But you can make noises, you can shift your body, you can, you know,

Guest Commentator (8:41)

moan sometimes if you scream out. Olay.

Emily (8:44)

Right.

Male Caller (8:49)

That one works too. That one's worked for me a couple times anyway.

Guest Commentator (8:52)

That would actually startle me.

Colleen (8:55)

Have you ever had a woman actually try to guide you through that?

Female Caller (8:58)

Huh?

Male Caller (8:59)

Yes, actually, one of my ex girlfriends back when I first started. I was actually really, really bad in the boob area. But after a while, she actually just, like, sat me down and showed me how to do it.

Derek (9:15)

She showed you on you?

Male Caller (9:17)

No. Well, yes, on me. And, like, kind of like pushed my head around for a little bit. I was like, all right, that's fine. That's what you like. I mean, it worked out great. I know how to do it.

Colleen (9:28)

Now you're going at it like a rabid beast, weren't you? She's like, yes. Slow down there. Slow down. Allie, you're on Q100.

Female Caller (9:36)

Hey. I wanted to agree with the first caller a little bit about, you know, making sure you kind of tell him to slow down, because a lot of the times you can tell when he's getting too excited and when it's, you know, fixing to happen for him. So if you just kind of say, okay, slow down. You know, a lot of the times he realizes you need more time.

Colleen (10:00)

I mean, so here, what we're really saying is you gotta have. You gotta have the guts to communicate with him in a subtle way.

Female Caller (10:05)

Absolutely.

Derek (10:06)

During.

Colleen (10:07)

During. Yeah, it sounds like during. Like, yeah, this has to be. You have to be a player coach.

Female Caller (10:12)

Absolutely. Yes.

Colleen (10:14)

Thank you.

Emily (10:15)

Yeah.

Guest Commentator (10:15)

And get in the game.

Emily (10:16)

Yeah. And I think too many times women just assume guys are gonna take care of them, and that's, you know, almost like their job, and you just are there, and if they're not taking care of you, you judge them for it. And I do agree that women have to say something about your own sexual life. If you are not satisfied, then you have to say something about it. And there is a way to say it, but to not be a participant in it is. Yeah. I mean, you can't just say it and show it. Yeah. Don't just lay there.

Derek (10:41)

Take charge.

Colleen (10:42)

Hey, Kat, you're on Q100.

Female Caller (10:44)

Hey. I just wanted to say there's. It's a very easy thing to do. A lot of couples use a lubricant. Well, PassionParties.com sells a lubricant that has a slight numbing effect where it doesn't take away feeling for a man, but it creates longevity, and that's an easy out. You know, a lot of people use the lubricant and can use that without insulting anybody.

Colleen (11:08)

Gotcha. Thank you.

Emily (11:10)

Yeah, there's another. I don't know it off the top of my head, but some commercial I thought was funny that there's some product out there that is supposed to affect a guy as well as a woman. And I don't know if you. It's like it's two separate products and when you. And when you put them together during that time, it's supposed to intensify it for both really. But I can't remember the name of the product, but it's a funny commercial, you know, so that may be something too because it's not just one thing you give to whoever, but each one gets their own little product.

Derek (11:36)

That's an advanced level though. If you're. I mean you've been together.

Colleen (11:40)

Master's program right there.

Guest Commentator (11:41)

It's a 200 level course.

Derek (11:43)

No, I'm just saying like if you been together a while, that's when you can introduce that kind of stuff, right?

Colleen (11:48)

Yeah, I would do that on a first date.

Financial Advisor (11:49)

You can't.

Derek (11:50)

There, there does come until like you're comfortable saying something about that.

Emily (11:55)

How we started the conversation though was I thought how to make your man improve in bed.

Colleen (11:59)

Yeah. But it can't be like me and my friend Aaron had this conversation like how you can't. You can't show your freakiness really entirely on the first date or you'll scare him away.

Derek (12:07)

Well, I never.

Emily (12:07)

But the. The intention I didn't think was a first date scenario.

Colleen (12:10)

No, no, no.

Derek (12:11)

I was just saying that it was like a graduate level thing to do.

Colleen (12:14)

And again, I think Jen brought up a really good point too that if you're faking it with your man is to stroke his ego and you're not getting what you want out of the whole deal. You've sort of created that convers that whole problem yourself.

Derek (12:25)

Yeah.

Emily (12:25)

And then if you're never gonna see him again, then who cares? Who cares?

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