The Bert Show: Vault – “How Much Are You Supposed To Spend On A First Date?”

Date: January 9, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Summary by Section, Quotes, and Timestamps

Episode Overview

This lively episode dives into the big question:
How much is it “normal” to spend on a first date these days?
Host Birch and co-hosts Bert, Emily, and Phil engage a range of callers to share what they spent recently on dates, compare costs, and discuss the “hidden expenses” and expectations around modern dating. The crew backs up their real-life anecdotes with data from a new national survey, prompting plenty of laughs and a dose of sticker shock.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Much Did YOU Spend on a Date? (01:32–05:56)

• Host Birch opens the show by questioning the rising cost of first dates, referencing a new (surprising) survey. He notes he hasn't dated in 11 years, so the numbers seemed unreal to him.

• The hosts take rapid-fire calls from listeners confessing their weekend date expenses:

  • Michael spent $25 ("Probably no more than about 25." – Michael, 02:24), splitting costs with a partner.
  • Andrew spent $74 on dinner only—and notes he’s paid more before, but felt this one was “well worth it.” (02:47–03:14)
  • Kyle scored Six Flags tickets and dinner for $33: "Money well spent." (04:13–04:33)
  • Rod did dinner and a movie for $45, calling this amount “lower than average” for him. Usually, dates run “from like 55 to maybe 60.” (04:42–05:10)
  • Greg drops the bomb: $350 on one date, plus another $175 in grooming and an outfit (manicure, pedicure, haircut, clothes). (“The grand total was roughly 525.” – Greg, 06:18)

2. The “Hidden Costs” and Pressure to Impress (03:39–06:34)

• Hosts and callers highlight extra, less obvious expenses: new clothes, salon visits, and even car detailing to impress a date.
• Greg shares his total—over $500 for one date, because he likes “to look good 24/7.” His girlfriend, Tanya, chimes in: “I’m worth it.” (07:32)

3. The Real World Cost: Are We Spending Too Much? (08:05–13:09)

• Co-host Phil admits his dates easily run $200 due to little extras: “You add in another 75 to bail us out of jail at the end of night...” (08:36)
• The price of drinks draws the most ire.
  • Birch: “Why does a drink in Atlanta cost the same as in New York City?” (08:56)
  • Phil: “Our dinners alone are 125 bucks. Then it’s the little stuff... cover to get into a club... even the bathroom valet!” (08:10)
• A bar manager calls in and claims alcoholic drinks have a 30%–80% markup (11:50). But another former bar owner from California insists the real average markup on top-shelf alcohol is 300% (13:09).

4. The National Survey Results: Jaw-On-Floor Numbers (09:29–10:33)

• National survey average for a date: $300.
• Host Birch: “[T]he average that most people are spending on a date now is $300.” (09:29)
• Women, on average, spend $295 before going out on clothes, hair, nails, etc.
• Men spend an average of $310 on the actual date (10:26–10:31).
• Emily: “310! That’s expensive.” (10:31)

5. Dating Budgets, Expectations, and Social Pressures (10:36–11:41)

• Bert: “The pressure on impressing somebody... includes valet, tip, alcohol... then to go to a nice restaurant, you have to dress really nice...” (10:36)
• The group jokes about keeping cars clean for early dates and letting the “real” mess show later.

6. Alcohol Markups, Negotiations & Bar Stories (11:50–14:31)

• William (bar manager): Drinks typically have a 30% markup, but some places push 80% (11:50–12:19).
• Jenna (ex-bar owner): “The average markup for top shelf is 300%.” (13:09)
• The cast wishes everything was negotiable at bars and laughs about bartenders improvising prices and the need to impress not just your date, but their friends too.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Birch (01:32):

  “If things have changed this much, y' all need a raise for sure.”

• Michael (02:24):

  “No, to go to the movie. $15. And then, you know, popcorn, icy Coke. Probably no more than about 25.”

• Co-host Bert (03:27):

  “You’re trying to be cool in front of your date. Like—yeah, I know what to do... and then bring out the tip card.”

• Greg (06:18):

  “The grand total was roughly 525.”

• Tanya (07:32):

  “I’m worth it.”

• Host Birch (09:29):

  “According to this survey, I feel bad if you are single because the average that most people are spending on a date now is $300.”

• Co-host Emily (10:31):

  “Man, 310. That’s expensive.”

• Host Birch (08:56):

  “I’ll never understand in Atlanta—why a drink... costs you the same as in New York City.”

• William (11:53):

  “It’s a general 30% markup.”

• Jenna (13:09):

  “The average markup for top shelf is 300%.”

• Co-host Phil (08:36):

  “Probably one date is about 200 bucks. But then you got to add in about another 75 to bail us out of jail at the end of the night...”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:32: Opening Question—How much did YOU spend on a date?
• 02:08–05:56: Listeners share their real-life dating expenses.
• 05:22–06:34: Greg’s $525 date (with guest Tanya’s reaction).
• 08:05–09:16: The impact of drinks, tips, and little “hidden costs.”
• 09:29–10:33: Survey reveals national date spending averages.
• 11:50–12:19: Bar managers explain drink markups.
• 13:09: Industry insight—a 300% alcohol markup.
• 14:08–14:31: Social pressure to impress dates and their friends.

Show Tone and Style

Light-hearted, authentic, and peppered with laughter, the episode leans into the jaw-dropping nature of modern dating costs while still keeping it relatable and fun. Listeners and hosts alike are both aghast and amused by just how expensive love seems to have become.

For New Listeners:
If you’re wondering what’s “normal” to spend on a first date—or just want to laugh at other people’s receipts—this episode offers real numbers, real stories, and a hilarious view into today’s dating pressures.