Vault: How Old Is Too Old For Dads To Take Their Daughters Into Restrooms?

Summary

The Bert Show: "How Old Is Too Old For Dads To Take Their Daughters Into Restrooms?"

Original Air Date: January 30, 2026
Host & Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and callers

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Episode Overview

This episode tackles a nuanced parenting dilemma: At what age is it inappropriate for fathers to bring their daughters into men's restrooms? The Bert Show cast delves into personal experiences, etiquette, legal considerations, and listener opinions, revealing the complexities faced by single dads and families in public spaces where family restrooms may not be available. The tone is candid, humorous, and empathetic, aiming to both inform and entertain.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Parenting Dilemma

• Incident: Bert recounts seeing fathers bring their approximately 7- or 8-year-old daughters into men's bathrooms while out in public.
• Concern: He questions the appropriateness and comfort level for both the children and other men present.
  Quote:

  "Twice now... it's been like seven or eight-year-old girls. And I'm wondering where the cutoff is on that because to me, it doesn't seem real healthy for the girl. And it certainly is uncomfortable for all the guys that are in the men's bathroom." – Bert (00:46)

2. Women’s Perspective on Bathroom Norms

• Observation: In women’s restrooms, children accompanying parents is common and expected, sparking confusion as to why an older girl couldn't go to the women’s restroom alone.
• Quote:

  "I'm surprised that he would not think a seven or eight year old girl could go to the bathroom on her own in a women's restroom." – Kristin (01:07)

3. Lack of Family Restrooms

• Challenge: The absence of single-stall, gender-neutral family restrooms often forces parents into uncomfortable decisions. Quote:

  "You don't have those family restrooms where you can go in there and it's just one stall for you and your daughter... So you're forced to make a decision." – Bert (02:03)

4. Callers’ Opinions and Experiences

a) Strict Cutoff Advocates

• Caller: Tammy (02:44)
  • Believes 7-8 is far too old for girls to be taken into men's restrooms.
  • Advocates standing outside the ladies' room and waiting.
  • Quote:

    "Seven, eight year old girls are more than able to take care of their business... All dad has to do is stand outside that door and wait... I would never, never allow my husband to do that with my children, my girls, ever." – Tammy (02:53)

b) Context Matters

• Caller: Jessica (04:35)
  • Feels location and environment matter: in unfamiliar or "shady" places, bringing a child into the men's room is more understandable.
  • Quote:

    "If it's somewhere that's maybe kind of shady or... you've never been before, I would much rather him take her into the men's bathroom." – Jessica (04:35)

c) Safety vs. Social Comfort

• Multiple Callers:
  • Express understanding of dads acting out of "defense mode," prioritizing their child’s safety over social conventions.
  • Quote:

    "My only goal is to get him back to his mother breathing. So I can understand why some of these guys are like, I don't care if it's inappropriate. I just need to have my eyes on her because she's not gonna be lost on my watch." – Bert (06:05)

d) Legal/Ethical Angle

• Caller: Pool Employee (07:32)
  • Mentions that legally, age six is often cited as the cutoff.
  • Quote:

    "The legal age that they can take like a daughter into the men's bathroom... Six is the cutoff." (07:46)

e) Protective Parenting Solutions

• Caller: Reese (08:04)
  • Describes her ex-husband’s practical tactic: cover the child’s eyes and quickly enter the stall.
  • Balances discomfort with the fear of losing sight of the child.
  • Quote:

    "He covered her eyes and had her facing him and ran into the stall with her... That was better than you losing my kids." – Reese (08:27)

f) Child’s Preference and Awareness

• Caller: Don (08:57)
  • Notes her independent 8-year-old daughter wouldn’t want to be in the men’s room, recognizing gender differences.
  • Suggests relying on help from women present if in a large, busy venue.
  • Quote:

    "My 8 year old ... would never want to go in there at that age anyway. So I think it's the dad being a little bit overprotective. He's got to turn loose just a little bit." – Don (08:57)

5. Gender Dynamics and Trust

• Stall Privacy: Noted that women’s bathrooms offer more privacy (stalls), making it less awkward for boys to accompany their mothers.
• Community Mindset: In women’s restrooms, other women often watch out for unattended kids, creating a village mentality. Quote:

  "There is this protectiveness in a women's bathroom knowing that there's a kid in there, like always keeping an eye on him and making sure that he or she stays with the mom and stuff." – Kristin (09:53) "It's like the modern day takes a village; it takes a restroom." – Cassie (10:12)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Seven, eight year old girls are more than able to take care of their business... All dad has to do is stand outside that door and wait..." – Tammy, Caller (02:53)
• "My only goal is to get him back to his mother breathing. So I can understand why some of these guys are like, I don't care if it's inappropriate. I just need to have my eyes on her because she's not gonna be lost on my watch." – Bert (06:05)
• "He covered her eyes and had her facing him and ran into the stall with her... That was better than you losing my kids." – Reese, Caller (08:27)
• "There is this protectiveness in a women's bathroom knowing that there's a kid in there... It's like the modern day takes a village; it takes a restroom." – Kristin & Cassie (09:53–10:15)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–01:07: Bert introduces personal dilemma and the question of etiquette
• 02:44–03:16: Caller Tammy's strong objection to bringing older girls into men's rooms
• 04:35–05:19: Caller Jessica offers nuance based on safety and environment
• 06:05–06:28: Bert explains "defense mode" and the lengths dads go for safety
• 07:32–08:00: Pool employee suggests six is the legal cutoff age
• 08:27–08:52: Caller Reese shares ex-husband’s strategy for privacy/safety
• 09:53–10:20: Discussion of “restroom village” mindset in women’s bathrooms

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Summary & Takeaways

• There is no universal consensus; opinions range from strict (never after age 5–6) to situational (dependent on environment/safety).
• Legally, six is sometimes considered the cutoff age, but practical application varies.
• The lack of family restrooms puts pressure on parents—especially fathers—to make awkward choices.
• Mothers and daughters tend to feel safer in women’s rooms, with communal oversight, while fathers face privacy and social discomfort in men's rooms.
• Ultimately, most agree the child’s maturity, the context, and heightened concern for safety should guide the decision—though some listeners emphasize the importance of respecting social norms and children's autonomy as they age.

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This episode captures the complexity and messiness of real-world parenting decisions, balancing legal guidelines, child development, public comfort, and the constant undercurrent of parental concern for safety.

Transcript

[A]

The Birch Show. All right, I have a parenting etiquette question. So if you're a parent, help me out with this. Because I tried to be sympathetic to parents because I am one, I've got two kids. But this has happened to me now twice over the last couple of weeks. And the first time it happened, I was in Charleston a few weeks ago. I'm at a restaurant and I go into the men's bathroom. And while I'm in there, I'm doing my thing, doing my number one, right. A father will walk in there with his daughter. Right? Now, obviously he's there by himself. Maybe a single dad, maybe he's just got his daughter for the night. Right. And my assumption is he doesn't want her to go into the girl's bathroom, the women's bathroom, by herself. For whatever reason, he doesn't feel that that's safe.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

And that makes sense to me at a certain age. But like twice now over the last couple of weeks, it's been like seven or eight year old girls. And I'm wondering where the cutoff is on that because to me, it doesn't seem real healthy for the girl. And it certainly is uncomfortable for all the guys that are in the men's bathroom. Am I just being sensitive to that or does it seem a little strange?

[B]

I never thought about single dads or dads with their kids in the guys bathroom because in a women's bathroom it is. I mean, it doesn't even phase you because you see kids in there all the time with their mom. So I'm surprised that he would not think a seven or eight year old girl could go to the bathroom on her own in a women's restroom. Because maybe, I mean, I've just, you know, I guess I can see where he'd be concerned about her being in a room full of strangers, but I just don't understand why she couldn't go to the bathroom by herself.

[A]

And I'm just curious what the etiquette is on that. Has that ever happened to you?

[C]

I can't think it's. I don't think it's ever happened to me. But I can see, like, I'm trying to see. I'm terrible with kids ages. Like, I always have to ask Jessica, how old's that one? You know what I mean?

[A]

But like, I used to be until I had my own and I could tell they were older than Hayden, and Hayden's five and a half. So I'm gonna assume she was like, both of them were like seven or Eight years old.

[C]

But like eight years old is like.

[A]

Seems icky.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To be in a guy's bathroom, you.

[D]

Start to ask questions, right?

[A]

Yeah. Like, and in a lot of cases still you don't have those family restrooms where you can go in there and it's just one stall for you and your daughter or you and your son. So you're sort of forced to make a decision. Do you let your daughter go in the women's bathroom all by herself or do you bring her into the guy's bathroom where all the dudes junk's hanging out. They don't even know that there's a girl behind them, so who knows, you know, and guys are messy, sloppy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know, some of them are like all untucked when they walk away from the urinal or whatever.

[B]

Oh, dude, y' all are gross. Yeah. Women's bathrooms are a lot more private than that. So I don't know, I don't know what the etiquette is.

[C]

A boy in a women's bathroom not as bad because they're stalls, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Tammy, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[D]

Hey.

[A]

Hey.

[E]

Totally inappropriate.

[A]

Like, what's the cutoff age?

[E]

Did you say seven or eight?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

That's completely and utterly inappropriate. Seven, eight year old girls are more than able to take care of their business, if you will, in a restroom by themselves. And all dad has to do is stand outside that door and wait, you know, for them. He's right there. And so totally inappropriate. I would never, never allow my husband to do that with my children, my girls, ever.

[A]

You think it's just a case of the dad being overly protective and he's like, I'd rather have her in my sight in a guy's bathroom than out of my sight in a woman's bathroom?

[E]

No, I don't. I think it's disgusting. Personally, I think that that's way across the line. I truly do. Because you're talking exposure here.

[A]

So at what age do you just, Are you okay by yourself? Like five?

[E]

Oh, I don't know. First of all, if I wouldn't let my husband take my little one who wasn't, you know, quite potty trained or ready for, you know, if they're going to be out that long, I would just go with and handle it myself. I would never let my little girl go into a men's bathroom.

[B]

So you're saying ever, you wouldn't let your husband ever take.

[A]

Ever, ever, ever, ever. And I've seen him more than once and I'm only sensitive to it because I've seen it the last couple of weeks more often than I ever have before.

[C]

Can the argument be made that the guys, anything that would be seen, the guys are turned facing the wall so they just walk quickly into a stall.

[A]

But you know how like some guys will still be untucked when they walk away from.

[C]

They're untucked but they don't have everything hanging out.

[A]

Still a little too close for comfort for me. It was my daughter. Hey Jessica, you're on Q100.

[F]

Hey guys. Well, I'll differ a little bit from your last caller and say that I think it depends on where you're at. I have a six year old little girl and we have two older boys. But first of all, my husband takes her out plenty. And if she's going to need to go to the bathroom while they're out, listen, I'm not going along for the ride, okay? He's a big boy, he can handle it. But if it's somewhere that's maybe kind of shady or somewhere you've never been before or whatever, I would much rather him take her into the men's bathroom. I think he's capable of making sure that, you know, it's a, you know, comfortable situation for both of them. He of course doesn't want her to see anybody goods.

[C]

I mean, shady, you mean like, you know, look at the pink pony.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Now if there's a pink pony, we might have an issue.

[A]

That's, that's an after 8:30 phoner. Good morning, Q100.

[G]

Good morning. How are you all?

[A]

Good. Good.

[G]

Well, I have two daughters and I wouldn't have a problem with them going in the bathroom when they were about 8 years old and my youngest was 5 because you know, like she was saying too, there are some places where I just would not let my daughters go in by themselves.

[A]

And the age for you again was.

[G]

What, about 8 years old? You know, because I mean, if you think about it, I mean if we had a single, only one bathroom and we're all in there together, I mean, I just don't think at 8 years old, you know, a little girl's looking at going, oh, look at that, look at that. It's just, you know, it's just not something that you know would happen.

[A]

No, I don't put it on the eight year old. But I mean if it's in there and they're going to see it. See, I've said this before also, like when Stacy's not around and I have Hayden. I'm in complete defense mode. My only goal is to get him back to his mother breathing. So I can understand why some of these guys are like, I don't care if it's inappropriate. I just need to have my eyes on her because she's not gonna be lost on my watch. So I don't care how inappropriate it is.

[B]

Right.

[D]

How can she get lost in a girl's bathroom?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Who knows? Like, what if you go in, you don't realize. It's like there's a door on the other side. I can understand that just freaks you out because there's. You know what I mean? Or like, what if she goes in there and who knows? Like, there's a line and like, the time starts ticking away and that's the one thing you're in charge of.

[A]

If you can't, there's a.05% that there's another door in there that she could exit out of. I can understand where the dads are coming from because like I said, the.

[B]

Only goal where the door was somewhere different than the door you walked in. Like on the mall.

[C]

Think of the ones in Turner Field.

[A]

Well, you would see that one though, wouldn't you? Because you go in one and you go out the other.

[B]

I'm saying that they face the same hallway is what I'm saying. You don't exit. There's no other hallway. Back door to a bathroom.

[C]

This is just my thinking. Like, think of if you're in that hallway and it's between innings at a busy game, like, that kid could come out and turn left and gone.

[A]

And you got to remember you're in defense mode. So logic is completely out of the window at this point. Good morning, Q100.

[D]

Yeah, hi. I work at a pool and I know the legal age.

[B]

Okay. The legal age that they can take like a daughter into the men's bathroom.

[D]

Legal age for any young child to go into the opposite sex bathroom.

[B]

And what is that?

[D]

It's six.

[B]

Six years old? Yes.

[D]

Six is the cutoff. But there is some sort of, you know, give or take, depending, you know, being a single parent or not.

[E]

So.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It's really hard to say, but yeah, six is supposed to be the cutoff.

[A]

Okay. So legally six. Thank you. Good morning, Reese. You're on Q100.

[D]

Hey there, bird show.

[E]

I love you guys.

[F]

You're wonderful.

[B]

Thank you.

[D]

And I have a crush on you. Your voice is hot.

[A]

Oh, thank you. That's cool. Thanks.

[D]

Any which way, why don't you say.

[C]

Something really Sexy about taking an eight year old girl into the bathroom.

[D]

Well, my ex husband, when he had my daughter, he would take her in. But the cutoff with him was five years old. When he first told me he took.

[F]

Her in, I freaked out.

[D]

But what he did was he covered her eyes and had her facing him and ran into the stall with her.

[A]

I'd blindfold her. It looked like some kind of hostage man.

[D]

It made more sense, you know, and he was like, you know, I know how you are. I would never leave her out, I'd never. Because God forbid, you know, somebody took her and I didn't notice, she walked away, blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, you know what? That's better than you losing my kids.

[A]

Right? I can understand that.

[F]

That was better.

[A]

I sort of get it. Good morning, don, you're on Q100.

[H]

Good morning. I have an eight year old and I just don't understand why dad would think it's okay to take her in there at that age. Because she knows, I mean my 8 year old talks, she thinks boys are gross and she knows they have the penis and the difference. And she's very independent and would never want to go in there at that age anyway. So I think it's the dad being a little bit overprotective. He's got to turn loose just a little bit. And you know, if it's somewhere like Turner Field or somewhere and the bathroom has an entrance and an exit and it's huge. Meet eye contact with some lady that's going in with, with her kids and just say something to the effect like, yeah, you know, my daughter's going in or something. I mean, I know my husband has done that a bunch. He used to take her into the bathroom with him. But you know, that's changed.

[B]

I will say, I will say that, you know, because I know a lot of people thought, well, you don't want to trust a stranger. You don't know the stranger. But there is this Lisa, for what I've noticed when there's a kid in the bathroom, there is this protectiveness in a women's bathroom knowing that there's a kid in there, like always keeping an eye on him and making sure that he or she stays with the mom and stuff. So it's just weird.

[D]

Sure.

[C]

It's like the modern day takes a village, it takes a restroom.

[B]

I mean it is weird how there is this, this sense of obligation in a women's bathroom when a kid walks in.

[A]

And I think that last caller made a really good point also. There's, like, more of an inherent trust, obviously, if there's a woman walking into the bathroom with other kids than if she's walking in there solo.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The bird Show.