D (2:01)

Well, I mean, what made me so angry about it this time is the fact that he now has a girlfriend because my mother passed away, and she is not the slimmest woman to walk the earth. So it makes me very, very upset and annoyed.

C (2:18)

And what about your dad's weight?

D (2:21)

Oh, my dad, okay. Very, very handsome, good looking, 50 years old. He's probably the most vain person I've ever met. Aside from you, Jeff. And it's amazing.

A (2:31)

So he's thin, he's in good shape. He just. He looks great.

D (2:35)

Yeah, he's thin, he's in good shape. And he's always, he's always said it's always been a weight issue. I think probably the nicest time. Which is always his reference point. When I played volleyball freshman year in college, and he just said, no, you look so good. Then you know that you are almost in a two piece.

E (2:55)

Oh, God, that's Joe Simpson.

D (2:58)

It's constant. It's, you know, his segues are. I remember I was washing dishes one night and I said, oh, I can't get the stain out. He's like, yeah, you need to go to the gym. And I was just like, what?

B (3:08)

Oh, man. So it was, I mean, relentless. Because I, you know, if there's, if there's certain cases where somebody says something about being out of shape or whatever, because, I mean, fat is just so harsh. If it's just. If it's a health issue or if it's. You had a family history of something, but it's just flat out vanity.

A (3:25)

Yeah. Totally different convers. If he, you know, comes up to you and says, look, baby girl, I'm just a little bit nervous about your health, and then launches into it that way.

B (3:32)

If there's a reason for it, but there's not a reason for it. So. Oh, I'm sorry.

A (3:37)

And then he makes this offer to you also.

D (3:39)

This is a legitimate offer, as far as I know. I would say it's legitimate because he also did this about 10 years ago. He told me, I think I had to lose. It was probably £25. And he would get me like an Anthony Hardaway jersey. Like, this is super long ago.

C (4:01)

So he's been trying to bribe you to lose weight basically your whole teen to adult life?

D (4:07)

Oh, absolutely. When I lost weight, I used to actually, I know you guys know what I look like. I used to be a size 20. And I went off and I lost about 60 pounds all on my own, just going to the gym and, you know, take, quote, unquote, taking care of myself, since I'm not taking care of myself because I'm fat, according to him. And he was. I don't think I've seen him more proud of me. He's like, oh, there's less of you to hug. And I mean, just all that stuff.

B (4:37)

I'm curious, what has that done for you on a con, on a daily basis on how you see yourself when you're. You're male role model in your life is constantly telling you that you're, you're not pretty enough.

D (4:51)

Well, I can honestly say I have a decent. I've always had the same body image of myself. I can look at myself in the mirror and be like, you know, wow, you know, I'm not a bad looking girl. And you know, I have enough confidence because I realized a few years ago that he's just crazy. And you know, sin is not, you know, does not automatically constitute happiness and stuff. So I just learned to be happy with myself because it just doesn't matter how thin or small I get. He just is going to be the same way. Because back when I lost all that weight in high school, he said, you know, my body image to him, he would say, oh, yeah, but you know, you could lose some in your arms or you could lose. So it just, it doesn't matter.

C (5:38)

How often does his voice creep into your mind though?

D (5:41)

It doesn't have to creep. I talk to him every day.

C (5:43)

No, but I mean like when you're eating or. Yeah, maybe when you're getting dressed or getting ready to go out or whatever. Like, is his voice sort of in the back of your mind sending you those constant messages?

D (5:55)

It is. Well, my brother and I have kind of taken the spin. We call each other fatty. Like, we joke. It's kind of like, you know, taking it back, I guess. So we like, hey, are you gonna finish that sandwich, fatty? And you know, he'll laugh and we'll laugh and joke about it. But seriously, it comes. It's, it's a constant thing. Like when he, when he said that to me, I teared up and it takes a lot for me to get emotional and I like, oh my God. Like, you know, it was one of those things. We had a great vacation and I was like, I thought we had moved past this. Like, why is this even still an issue? So it hurts, dad. Actually, it makes me more sad than anything.

A (6:36)

Hey, Johnny, you're on Q100.

F (6:38)

Yes, go ahead. Okay, now what I was saying is, you know, sometimes you need somebody to tell you where you are because I went for years and I just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger and my health started getting worse and worse and nobody would ever tell me because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. But finally I had someone tell me, you know, you know, hey man, you know you're getting fat and you know, you sit down and you look at yourself. I wish somebody had told me a lot sooner because I lost my marriage and now I'VE lost, right. At 80 pounds, I'm healthier than I've been in years and years. And I know it's hard for somebody to tell you that you're. That you're fat, but let me tell you, in the long run, when you do sit down and you eat right and you lose the weight, then you can think back and say, you know, I know it hurt then, but then it don't hurt later on when you get. When you see how healthy you are.

A (7:32)

I need sort of a definition of, like, what your body is like. Nobody. It's. It's so taboo to call somebody fat or to even use the word fat. And we're also sensitive about it. But if we were looking at a chart, right, At a BMI chart, a body mass index chart, I think it's called, would your weight be within the healthy scale or would you be out of the healthy portion of that?

D (7:58)

I would be out of the healthy. I wouldn't be in the red, but I'm probably within 20 pounds of where I need to be.

A (8:08)

What your dad is saying then is since you wouldn't be on that healthy chart, he's obviously picking and choosing the wrong words, but he's saying that you're unhealthy and that you are overweight. What? Melissa?

B (8:21)

Well, I mean, I would agree with you if he didn't. When she lost a bunch of weight, he said, oh, well, you could lose more in your arms and you could do this and you could do that if it was about health.

A (8:28)

Yeah, that's a good point.

B (8:29)

That's one that, you know, I mean, I didn't mean to not let you finish, Katrina, but.

D (8:34)

It'S just. It's. That's what it's always been. It's been something that I've had to deal with all my life, and it just made me super, super. I got annoyed. I bet it was just. And again, look at your example. The very woman you're quote, unquote with. I was going to use another term, but the very woman you're with is heavy.

B (8:58)

Well, she. He's saying the same thing to her. I mean, he's saying.

C (9:00)

He.

B (9:00)

I'm sure he is. You know, an interesting observation because I made the comment earlier. You know, it's harsher to say it to women. And we. At the cabin this weekend for my birthday, we were in Blue Ridge, a bunch of friends, and there was one night where it was, whatever, Jeff, bunch of friends. And one of the friend's husband came, so he was the only guy at the dinner table. And the conversation at the dinner table went to weight with all the girls. And he just was like, you know what? It is fascinating to me that every time that women usually get together, it is inevitable. That weight, body image, this always comes into place. And I guarantee you, if it was a bunch of guys sitting around the table, we wouldn't be worried about how much we were eating. We were what we were eating, what we were doing that day to balance out what we were eating tonight. But he said, you guys, this is inevitable with every woman. And so we obsess about it.

A (9:54)

It runs so much deeper with women than it does men. I mean, you're.

B (9:56)

We're judged on it every day. We're judged on it at work, we're judged on it at home, we're judged on it from strangers. We're judged on it all the time. As if our worth. We only have good worth if our body looks like what we see on TV. And it's just not fair.

A (10:11)

Hey, Crystal, you're on Q100.

D (10:13)

Hey. I remember all the way back to the age of 15, and I'm 24 now, my grandfather doing the same thing to me. And it's emotionally scarring. And I was tiny. I mean, I wasn't big at all, but I put on a bathing suit. He'd be like, nothing a couple of cans of Slim Fast wouldn't fix.

C (10:29)

Jeez, that's just damaging words, you know? And I would just worry about Katrina because that. That's the. The example of a man that you've had in your life, your whole life. I'm afraid you won't seek out someone.

E (10:42)

That is like him, even subconsciously. Even if you make an effort to be different or look for different, that.

C (10:50)

That'S who you'll end up with, is somebody who's going to put you down like that. It's just.

A (10:55)

Or you run completely away from it. I think our first thought was, like, how can. How can we help? But I don't even know that you need it or you want it.

D (11:06)

I mean, I definitely want it because I decided I'm going to take the money and go to London.

E (11:13)

They got great, unhealthy food in London. It is an awesome city.

D (11:17)

I'm super excited about that. But it's just. I just really want to. I want to do this because. And it's not for him, because I've told him plenty of times, you know, Finn is not happy. Finn is not. I mean, it's the constant argument that we have, and I just want it to end. I just, you know, But I know it's not going to. I'm pretty sure it's not going to.

A (11:44)

Here was the thought a little bit yesterday, and we got to sort of wrap this up. But, you know, we did this thing a couple of years ago, this motivation by humiliation thing where, yes, you get to lose the weight, but if you do, not only do you get the thousand dollars, but your dad, there would have to be repercussions for your dad also, besides the thousand dollars, like if you. If you met your goal weight within.

E (12:07)

X number of time, like if you do it within six months, whatever.

B (12:12)

But I don't feel comfortable enabling your father and his abusive language. I mean, it's abusive what he said to you over this long period of time.

D (12:19)

Absolutely. I mean, and actually, it's funny you said that's the timeline. He wants me to lose it in, I believe, five months because we're having a family reunion and he's just won't want everyone to see how thin Katrina got.

A (12:31)

That's the problem with the whole thing, is that if you do lose the weight, we help you lose the weight in five months. I mean, he's, like, showing you off, you know, like you're.

D (12:38)

That's what he's always done. I mean, it's. This is the man who walked into. Who would walk into a room. He was his nickname. His nickname in the family is, you know, sharp. Because, you know, he comes in, he's always. He still dresses. He's 50, and he still dresses like someone. I would date people when we go out, people are like, that's not your father.

C (12:57)

But the reason that this whole thing started is because you sent me an email about getting in touch with a nutritionist and a trainer, and you said, to reach my goal. So is it your goal or is it your dad's goal?

D (13:09)

It's my goal. Before he even said anything, which is what aggravated me even more, was I had already decided and made the plan to go to start working out and losing weight. Because, I mean, I look in the mirror and I see myself. It has nothing to do with, oh, my gosh, I'm getting fat or anything. I love myself no matter how big. When I was a 20, I thought I was the sexiest thing alive.

B (13:35)

Then why lose the weight?

D (13:37)

I lost the weight. I actually. It was a part of a. I just joined the National Body Challenge, and I was just going to the gym every day, just hanging out. So it just came off. I wasn't even paying attention or making it my goal to do it. It just happened.

C (13:52)

So now it is your goal, though.

D (13:54)

Now it is my goal.

C (13:56)

Is your goal any different than your dad's? Is your goal this 50 pounds for the thousand dollars, or would your goal be like 20? Because you said within 20 pounds you'd be in that BMI range?

D (14:07)

My goal would be to get back. I probably would aim for 30 to 35 pounds because that's where I was the last time I lost the weight. And I was really, you know, I looked good. I liked how everything. Everything was where it should have been and looked pretty good in their places. So that would be where I would want to go.

A (14:33)

All right, let's table this for today and we'll debate it a little bit in our post show meetings and stuff and see what we might be able to do with.

C (14:40)

Yeah. Cause I agree with Burt. I think your dad's got a pony up more than a thousand pounds.

A (14:43)

Yeah, man. I mean. Cause we're talking about a lifetime of verbal abuse. So $1,000 is nice, but he's got to put up the same way you got to put up.

E (14:50)

Should it be $50 a pound?

A (14:53)

That's a lot of cash right there. Sanjay Gupta could add those numbers quickly. I cannot, dude.

E (14:58)

Katrina, that translates to. Every 20 pounds would be $1,000.

D (15:04)

That would be phenomenal.

A (15:05)

Katrina, let's meet over the next 24 or 48 hours, and we'll talk more about it. Okay? All right, talk to you later. Bye.

C (15:14)

Bye.

A (15:17)

The bird show.