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Bert
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Bird
Purch the bird show the goose has landed. Copy copy Red Leader.
Alright, so he's there.
Phil
No, Jeff just wanted me to stop the song in the middle of the.
Bird
Song cause he's there and is he proposing.
Phil
No, Jeff just told me to stop the song.
Bird
What the hell?
Bert
What?
Jeff
Well I just wanted. I thought first of all I think it's cool when we interrupt songs.
Bird
I think a half left in the song.
Jeff
I've got a very important announcement to make.
Bird
There's a minute you have a heart.
Bert
Grinch that your heart grew three sizes bigger? Is that what you're about to ask?
Jeff
I would like to make an important announcement and is there any better way to get people's Attention. Than interrupt a song in the middle of a song. Okay, so how many people are down there, Phil?
Phil
Again, from standing around? There's a couple people still milling about in that walk around, and I think they're, like me, waiting to see what happens.
Anna
There is.
Phil
I did see one lady drive up in a car during the commercials. She's parked to the side, and there's still that. Yes.
Bert
I just.
Jeff
I actually want to know how many people leave once I announce that I wrote that email.
Bert
Oh, my God. No, you did not.
Jeff
Yes, I did.
Bert
No, you did not. You cannot come up with words like that. Hey, Jessica, did you write this email? Because, I mean, every time you sing, it is like, angel that can't come have come from Jeff dollar.
Jeff
There's no engagement. I just wanted to see how many desperate women show up on the day before Valentine's Day thinking they're gonna get engaged.
Anna
Oh, my God.
Bert
How me?
Bird
Yeah. That, to me, is just evil.
That's so mean. How could you laugh at that? That's amazing.
Bert
I'm just like. Because I'm stunned. I mean, we should have known.
Phil
I'll tell you this now. There is one less car in the parking lot that is pulling out and pulling off.
Bird
Now, Jeff, you do these things, and you never even think about anybody else.
Jeff
What am I. Who am I thinking about? An imaginary girl?
Bird
No. So here's a woman that shows up that is, like, really thinking that her boyfriend is doing something romantic for. And she shows up, right. And is completely devastated and disappointed. Now, that's a dick move.
Jeff
No, it's not.
Bird
It totally is.
Jeff
It is proving that women. Look, at Valentine's Day is the day that all the special crap is gonna happen, and they will do anything to force themselves into a situation where they will get engaged.
Bert
Now, do you think that a lot of the women that showed up there were honestly thought they were gonna get engaged to. Or do you think they were just, like, being rubberneckers where they wanted to see it take place?
Bird
One woman shows up.
Bert
Yeah.
Bird
It's heartbreaking.
Bert
I am just honestly most surprised that Jeff was able to come up with something so romantic and sweet.
Bird
Hold on, Phil. Okay.
Bert
Are you sure Stops moving when. Yeah, those were. Yeah. Jeff didn't. Are you sure producer Tracy didn't write that?
Jeff
Come on.
Bird
And how did you, like. Jeff didn't say, let's read this on the air tomorrow. He sent it, and I. I bit hook, line, and sinker.
Bert
Oh, you're kidding.
Bird
So this. This came to me, and I'm like.
Bert
Print it and hand it to you?
Bird
No, no, no, no. This came to me in my email box and I'm like, this is.
Good morning. All the hits. Q100.
Anna
Hello.
Bert
Hello.
Anna
Yeah, how are you guys? Cause I am really ticked off.
Bert
Go ahead. What's going on?
Anna
Well, I've been sitting in the Maggiano's parking lot and, you know, waiting for my boyfriend to show up.
Bird
I don't know why you find that funny, because.
Bert
Sorry to hear that.
Jeff
And why did you decide to wait for your boyfriend?
Anna
Because, hello, he wrote that email.
Bert
He did? Yeah.
Bird
When?
Anna
Well, obviously recently, if you read it on the air.
Jeff
Well, you thought that he wrote it, so. Let me ask you some questions, Anna. What's so special about Maggiano's and you?
Phil
What do you mean?
Anna
I mean, I haven't even eaten there.
Jeff
So why would you go? It says in the email that I made up that nobody wrote but me.
Anna
You know what? I am totally confused. How do I know that my boyfriend didn't write that email and you told him not to go? And now that you know, because you wanted it to sound better on the air and that you're just making a big joke out of it.
Jeff
What is my. Do you sing?
Bird
I still don't understand what your point is.
Anna
No, I don't sing. But, you know, the parking lot thing didn't really throw me off because my younger brother proposed to his girlfriend in the church parking lot. So I thought, oh, well, he's doing something like my brother did.
Jeff
So you know what? This girl. What's her name again? Ann. Anna. Anna.
Bird
Anna.
Jeff
Amy.
She is proving my point. Think about it. You've got a woman who is so desperate to be engaged that she. Do you sing?
Anna
No, I don't.
Jeff
Then why did you go to Maggiano's when the email said that you sang?
Anna
I just want to tell you this. You know, of course that email was about me because I listen to your show all the time and he knows I do. Okay? So you know what I do? I totally take a day off from work to go down there.
Bert
That sounds funny.
Anna
Okay. And then my sister takes a video cam and goes with me. All right? She has two small kids, she's a stay at home mom, so she had to get a sitter so that she could go with me and film this. Sent my parents in Florida.
Bird
And that's funny to you?
Jeff
Why did she go? Why is. Why did you go down there?
Bird
Doesn't matter.
Anna
What do you mean, why did I go down there? Because I thought the email was about me. Because I Thought I was getting a ring at Christmas. And when he didn't give me a ring at Christmas, I knew it was Valentine's Day. I knew it was gonna be Valentine's Day weekend.
Bert
I don't think you see, some guys, I don't think understand like if it was something that was important to you, like a gift, a gadget or something. I wish I could think of something that was more comparable, but. And you drop a hint to your girlfriend or your wife that this is something that you really want and you really think she's gonna get it for you. And then the Christmas comes, your birthday comes and goes, and it's. And it's not there and you get really disappointed. I mean, the thing is, you sound like it's women forcing men to propose, but I think that it's just. I mean, this is something that is again the most important day to a woman's life. So I mean, I can understand where if she thought there was a hint of a possibility, it obviously meant enough to her to take off work to arrange for videotape of the event. So, I mean. Yeah, it is.
Anna
Well, I mean, I can't go to work now.
Bird
I gotta. I just have to apologize.
Anna
I mean, I don't know if any apology would even be sufficient. I mean, I can't go to work now. I am too upset. I don't know. Are you making fun of people wanting to get married? And I mean, I'm assuming. Am I on the air right now?
Bert
Uh huh. Well, I can.
Anna
Well, I should just tell people right now that they should never listen to the Burt show again. Never. Well, I'm not listening to you all. You know the set button on my car radio? I am setting it somewhere else.
Bert
Well, I just wanted to apologize. Cause I can understand really wanting to be that other piece of the puzzle, making a magical moment come true. Cause I think that that's what she was trying to do. I don't think that she's desperate to get married. I think that she thought, okay, this is a magical moment.
Jeff
You can flank.
Bert
Let me finish what I'm gonna say for the first time this week.
Bird
Okay.
Jeff
Oh God, here we go.
Bert
Let me finish what I'm gonna say. Okay. I think that she thought this was going to be a magical moment. And if she didn' do her part to make the puzzle piece come together, then she would have ruined a magical proposal. Ruined a magical part. I don't think that it means that she's desperate to get married.
Bird
Anna. I'm sorry. There's nothing I Can say, I don't.
Anna
Know if that's gonna cut it with me, because, you know, I thought he wrote that email. And now I'm really confused, because you guys are on there going, this is a challenge.
Bert
First of all. No. First of all, I take offense at the fact that you don't want to listen to the Burt show anymore, because we have four people on this show, and one person is the one that lied, not only to you, but the other three on the show. So you can't blame Burt or myself or Jen for this, because we were just as involved as you were. And I know, Bert, I know that we have to take responsibility for Jeff's actions, but I.
Bird
No, I don't. And I'll tell you why. And I'll tell you why I don't. Part of Jeff's responsibility. And I'm gonna let you go. Okay, I'm sorry.
Anna
Well, I don't know. I'll have to think about whether I'm ever gonna listen to you all again, because I am just hacked off. I just think you're making a mockery of people who want to get married. And I thought this was a special day for me.
Bird
I understand. All right. Thank you. Part of Jeff's responsibility as the executive producer of the show is to protect us and make sure that listeners trust us. That is his responsibility. And what you've done today is you have totally breached that responsibility.
Jeff
This is the same thing.
Bird
No, Jeff, you totally have, and there's nothing you can say about it.
Jeff
This is the same thing as.
Bird
Why can't you ever just admit. You know what? I didn't think it through. I screwed up.
Jeff
This is the same thing as the gold diggers bit. It's just proving that women are out there who are desperate to get married and will force situations in order to make. And what better day to do it than Valentine's Day?
Bird
So you feel good about what you've done?
Jeff
I feel like I've proven a point.
Bird
Hi. All the hits. Q100.
Phil
Hey, my name's Joe, and I got your back on this one, Bird. I think he did screw up. And Jeff does some wonderful pranks, man.
Announcer
I agree.
Bird
Totally agree.
Phil
Laughed and thought that he's just the instigator. But even us guys like a romance, you know? I even thought of going there just to see. Just to watch.
Bird
Well, it's such a breach of trust that. I don't know, that's.
Phil
He just needs to admit that he screwed up.
Jeff
I just. I will if I can meet the girl who fits Every description in that movie.
Phil
She's not out there.
Bird
I don't know.
Announcer
Exactly.
Phil
And the quirk that called up.
Anna
Oh, my God.
Phil
Where'd she come from?
Jeff
Exactly.
Phil
She didn't have no criteria. But the thing is, there's enough people that do love romance and believe in it that they showed up and they were disappointed. You disappointed a lot of people.
Bird
Thank you for calling.
Jeff
All right.
Bird
Bye. Bye. Go ahead. Let me take all the I love Jeff calls.
Jeff
I didn't put it.
Bird
That have. That are as mean as you are.
Jeff
Dump them all then and pick them up randomly.
Bird
People are calling saying, I thought people see the point. Morning. All the hits. Q1.
Bert
It's just.
Bird
You know what? It's just not the kind of show I want to do. Maybe that's it. It's not the kind of show I want to do where you set up women that are all excited about being proposed to and you squash their dreams. That's just not what I want to do. I'm pissed. I'm really pissed. And we strive to have a relationship with our listeners where they trust. That's why we don't do wacky things on April Fool's Day. We come up with wacky kind of stunts where you buy into it and then you're disappointed at the end of the day because, Jeff, you've been in on this conversation. Also want our listeners to trust us.
Jeff
Are you mad?
Bird
And you have breached that.
Jeff
Are you just mad because I got you too with the email?
Bird
No. I mean, you phone scammed me before I did that.
Anna
I did not understand anything. Bert just nailed it right on the head. You have no empathy. You are so bitter about this whole ordeal that you wanted to cause other women pain. Do you know that that description, if it wasn't for the fact that my best friend was already engaged, fit her to a T. Do you know how many couples have had their first date or several important dates at Maggiano's? Do you know how many women sing to their boyfriends? I sing to my fiance. I mean, you just did not think of the damage that you could do. Women's emotions are so high around Valentine's Day and so temperamental that you care. You caused every one of your listeners who trusted you to no longer trust you. You know, well, that's the first rule.
Jeff
Don't trust me.
Bird
Had we known it was coming from you, we wouldn't have.
Anna
You should not be on a radio station if your listeners cannot trust you. That's what your listeners are here for.
Bird
Yeah. Had you read the Email, then we might be a little bit more skeptical, but because, you know, you sent it to me and I bought hook, line, and sinker, man. I'll give you that.
Jeff
I think that's why you're the most upset.
Anna
You're a callous, very bitter man. You're a very callous, bitter man. You have no business being on the radio station, playing games with people's heads.
Bird
No, I'm really not bitter about that. I mean, you know what? You're much smarter at putting stuff like that together than I am. I'll give you that. So that doesn't bother me.
Bert
Yeah, I just.
Bird
You can manipulate way better than I can. Let me just give a quick recap because we're getting a lot of people calling up, going, what are you guys talking about? We got this email yesterday. I got an email yesterday from this guy that I thought was just this complete hopeless romantic. And he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, but he was really, really general in the. In the email. Excuse me. And, you know, he was just. I mean, pouring his heart out in this email. And he said if I read it, he knew that his girlfriend would be listening because she's a big time listener of the show and she would show up at Maggiones at 9:15 because that restaurant holds a really special place in their heart. So I read the email yesterday, read it like twice today. We sent Phil Tyranna down there at 9:15 this morning to see this whole proposal go down. The parking lot gets filled up with women that maybe think it's them that their boyfriend is gonna be proposing to. And then once Phil is down there, Jeff makes the claim that the email he sent. He sent. Jeff wrote the email, sent it to me, and there was never a proposal going down. And he thinks it's a big joke and very funny that a whole bunch of women went down to Maggiana's today, had their dream squad.
Bert
I mean, this is my first Valentine single. And it's not, you know, it's. And I don't have that feeling. I don't want other people not to be romantic and other people not to be.
Jeff
I did it to hurt people. I did it to prove that there are women out there who will force themselves into the wrong. Like, you know, it's like that playing that game you had when you were a kid where you had to try to put the triangle in the triangle hole and the circle in the circle hole. It's like trying to cram the triangle into the circle hole. It doesn't like that woman did not fit the description. Why is that lost on everyone? She was trying to force herself into a situation where she could get engaged.
Bird
And so were the other five or six or seven or 10 women that went down there today that you really hurt?
Jeff
I would assume so, yes.
Bird
And you feel good that they walk down there and you. They're walking away because you hurt them today. You feel good that they're walking away.
Jeff
And you had, I hope, hopefully they're walking away going, you know what? I gotta back off on this engagement thing.
Bird
Hey, Tony, you're on all the hits. Q100.
Jeff
Yeah.
Phil
I cannot believe you guys are lambasting Jeff over this because he has not once all week, even though he's been bitter, has not said, you shouldn't give roses, you shouldn't be special, you shouldn't have an engagement. Not one is called with the right criteria. He was pretty vague, but he punked you guys. You guys have phone pranks. You do all that stuff. It does not hurt your credibility. There were not thousands of people. This was not, you know, this email could have come from any blank listener punking you and not have really shown up. Anyone could have done that. Those women didn't have any connection. There hasn't been 2, 3, 10 people that have called you with any validity even anywhere near matching this.
Bird
You have if it was just me getting punked. I mean, Jeff's done that before. He phone scammed me with that Jezebel thing. That doesn't bother me, not even a little bit. It's the fact that 10 or 12 or however many women walk down there. This is the thing that bothers me, that 10 that went down there and got really hurt today. And also the fact that I'm afraid, when's the next time Jeff's gonna do that and who's gonna be hurt? Who's gonna be hurt by it next time?
Bert
And it doesn't take a thousand people to justify. I mean, like, if it's just. If it was just one woman that went down there, is that not enough? And the thing is, it is Valentine's Day, and this was a day that was supposed to be themed about Valentine's Day. And the thing that is going to also have bragging rights on it is he's ended the show before Valentine's Day on a sour note.
Bird
So you got that on your side also.
Bert
The thing that bothers me is that we have ended the week on this note. We've ended a week on where we are fractured in this room. There are listeners are fractured. We're not leaving with a good feeling. We're not leaving with a feeling of love. So there you go, Jeff. You got it. You know what? You hate this holiday and now you have ruined the vibe of the room. I hope you're happy. You're the bully of the room and the bully of the room has won.
Jeff
Well, I certainly didn't mean to kill everybody's Valentine's Day.
Bert
The one bad apple in the room today has caused the whole vibe of the room to be sour.
Bird
The Birch show.
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Original Air Date: December 11, 2025
Podcast Host: The Bert Show Team (Bert, Bird, Jeff, Phil, Anna, etc.)
This Bert Show vault episode revisits one of the show’s most infamous pranks, masterminded by Jeff. The premise: he fakes a romantic proposal email and has the team, and listeners, convinced it’s real. When unsuspecting women show up at a restaurant expecting a proposal, the stunt spirals out of control, exposing raw emotions, division among the cast, and the unforeseen consequences of “harmless” radio pranks. The episode explores themes of trust, responsibility, and how even small on-air tricks can deeply affect real people.
Bert [02:05]: “Is there any better way to get people’s attention than interrupt a song in the middle? Okay, how many people are down there, Phil?”
Jeff [02:41]: “Yes, I did. I just wanted to see how many desperate women show up on the day before Valentine’s Day thinking they’re gonna get engaged.”
Anna [07:38]: “I mean, I don’t know if any apology would even be sufficient. I mean, I can’t go to work now. I am too upset.”
Bert [08:09]: “I can understand really wanting to be that other piece of the puzzle, making a magical moment come true. … I don’t think she’s desperate to get married. I think that she thought this was a magical moment.”
Bird [09:30]: “Part of Jeff’s responsibility as executive producer of the show is to protect us and make sure that listeners trust us. … What you’ve done today is you have totally breached that responsibility.”
Jeff [10:08]: “I feel like I’ve proven a point.”
Bird [16:17]: “It’s just not the kind of show I want to do… where you set up women that are all excited about being proposed to and you squash their dreams. That’s just not what I want to do. I’m pissed.”
Bert [16:35]: “The thing that bothers me is that we have ended the week on this note. … You got it, Jeff. You hate this holiday and now you have ruined the vibe of the room. … You’re the bully of the room and the bully of the room has won.”
Jeff’s Reveal & Philosophy
“There’s no engagement. I just wanted to see how many desperate women show up the day before Valentine’s Day thinking they’re gonna get engaged.”
– Jeff, [02:53]
Anna’s Heartbreak
“I am too upset. I don’t know. Are you making fun of people wanting to get married? … I should just tell people right now they should never listen to the Bert Show again. Never.”
– Anna, [07:38 to 07:57]
Bird Confronts Jeff
“That, to me, is just evil. How could you laugh at that?”
– Bird, [03:02]
Bert Explains the Weight of the Moment
“I think that she thought this was going to be a magical moment. And if she didn’t do her part to make the puzzle piece come together, then she would have ruined a magical proposal.”
– Bert, [08:28]
Listener Phil (sympathizing with hurt women)
“There’s enough people that do love romance and believe in it that they showed up and they were disappointed. You disappointed a lot of people.”
– Phil, [10:48]
Bird’s Final Reflection
“We strive to have a relationship with our listeners where they trust. … That’s why we don’t do wacky things on April Fool’s Day. … I’m afraid, when’s the next time Jeff’s going to do that and who’s going to be hurt by it?”
– Bird, [11:17 - 15:49]
Bert’s Summary of the Fallout
“The one bad apple in the room today has caused the whole vibe of the room to be sour.”
– Bert, [17:00]
| Segment | Time | |-------------------------------------|--------------| | Prank introduction, song interruption | 01:33 – 02:10 | | Jeff admits the prank | 02:41 – 03:09 | | Anna, the upset listener, calls in | 04:39 – 08:47 | | Heated ethical debate in the studio | 08:54 – 13:01 | | Host reflections, recap, and fallout | 13:17 – 17:07 |
This episode is a stark exploration of how media stunts—intended as pranks—can have real emotional consequences on listeners. The Bert Show team grapples live with questions of ethics, trust, and the responsibility they hold over their audience. Anna’s genuine heartbreak, the on-air regret (and lack thereof), and the somber mood closing out the show serve as a reminder: what’s “just a joke” in the studio isn’t always funny for those who feel the impact. The cast’s candor and emotional debate make for compelling listening—a cautionary tale for creators everywhere.