The Bert Show – “Vault: Lil Black Book Recap”

Date: December 5, 2025
Cast: Bert Show hosts and team (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more), plus guests Kevin, Jessica, and Stacy

Episode Overview

This episode revisits the “Little Black Book” week-long segment where a listener, Jessica, connects with each of her boyfriend Kevin’s ex-girlfriends to learn more about him. The focus is on the experiment’s dramatic fallout, specifically with "Psycho Stacy," Kevin’s most infamous ex, who continues to call in and escalate the situation. The episode serves as a raw, real-time conclusion to a saga blending humor, awkwardness, and relationship tension.

1. Setting the Scene: Little Black Book Explained

• The hosts open by recapping the premise: Jessica contacted Kevin’s exes on-air to “get to know him better.”
• Stacy (dubbed "Psycho Stacy" by the show) became a recurring theme as she called in every day, even when not invited.
• A listener complimented the Bert Show's talent in turning "America’s most boring couple" into an entire week of compelling radio:

  "You guys took America's most boring couple and turned it into a week long succession of bits. Congratulations, you guys are really talented. And thank God for Psycho Stacy." (Host 2, 01:43)

2. Kevin and Jessica Join – Clearing the Air

• Jessica and Kevin are brought on together to wrap up the experiment.

The Weekend Debrief

• Jessica reassures the hosts that Kevin and Stacy's phone conversation was short and not as dramatic as Stacy claimed:

  • "Yeah, we talked about it, and it turned out it was really... I should have known she was exaggerating... It was a quick conversation where he was trying to be polite... it's not something I'm too worried about." (Jessica, 03:31)

• Kevin admits the experience was uncomfortable:

  • "It's kind of weird. I listened to the first day and then I was kind of like, ew, it's kind of creepy. So. But I listen in and she's been talking to me about it." (Kevin, 04:09)
  • He insists nothing embarrassing or damaging came out and reaffirms being “more private” than Jessica.

Talking About Boredom in the Relationship

• The topic of their “boring” relationship is brought up, referencing comments Jessica made during the week.
  • "It's not that... I just wanted it to be a little more passionate." (Jessica, 08:43)
  • She awkwardly references Kevin’s “Playboy collection,” tying it to potential issues with excitement and intimacy—“Maybe that's sort of like practicing your golf swing the wrong way or something.” (Jessica, 09:08)
• Kevin responds with humor:
  • "Yeah, just a touch, so to speak." (Kevin, 09:35)

3. Stacy Reappears: The Ex Strikes Back (09:59)

• True to form, Stacy calls in mid-conversation, reigniting the drama.

The Length of the Call – A Point of Contention

• Stacy contradicts Kevin, claiming their call was 30 minutes, not 10.
  • "Listen, I just wanted Jessica to know it was not a 10 minute conversation on Thursday. It was a 30 minute conversation. I don't know why Kevin's saying it was only 10, and I just think she should know that..." (Stacy, 10:07)
• Host presses Stacy about conflicting reports—on Friday she said 45 minutes, now 30. She admits exaggerating:
  • "Well, I may have exaggerated a little bit. I did. It was at least 30 minutes." (Stacy, 11:05)

Accusations and Escalations

• Stacy claims she spoke to Kevin again on Saturday, which he had not shared with Jessica.
  • "There is one thing I need to say. Kevin, if the conversation didn't mean that much to you, why didn't you mention the conversation that we had on Saturday?" (Stacy, 12:06)
  • Kevin says it was a “nuisance call,” likening it to a telemarketer (12:33).

Direct Confrontation

• Kevin grows increasingly frustrated:
  • "It's about you being some sort of a weird psycho girl who, at 19, I don't know, was frigged up in the head and I made a big mistake and shouldn't have been with at all. You got some emotional problems and you keep in touch with my mom and you're just..." (Kevin, 13:02)
• Jessica tells Stacy to back off and ends her involvement in the segment:
  • "I think this I'm gonna be. That's it from you. But thanks, guys, for the experiment." (Jessica, 14:13)
• Stacy takes offense, feeling maligned:
  • "It's very unfair and very mean, and there's nothing wrong with being dedicated and devoted. But whatever. I'll hang up." (Stacy, 15:06)

4. Emotional Fallout & Resolution

• Stacy tries to defend her involvement, stating she was only trying to be “helpful and open,” and expresses feeling excluded and emotional.
  • “They opened something that I've been trying really hard to close… I would hear about what was going on with him from his mom. And you're about to cry." (Stacy, 15:22)
• The hosts, maintaining a bemused but sympathetic tone, gently usher Stacy off the air as tensions mount.

5. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Stacy’s Unfiltered Honesty:

• “You can't stop somebody from caring about somebody.” (Stacy, 12:06)

Kevin’s Deadpan Discomfort:

• “Hey, Stacy, you got in your little bit of radio fame here. Why don't you hang up and go on your daily life.” (Kevin, 12:56)

Group Realization:

• “Just for the record, we're all still here. We're just listening like everybody else.” (Drew Ski, 14:41)

The “Golf Swing” Metaphor for Relationship Boredom:

• “Maybe that's sort of like practicing your golf swing the wrong way or something. You know what I mean?” (Jessica, 09:08)
• “It's like learning how to play golf by reading Golf Digest.” (Host 1, 09:18)

Stacy’s Final Plea:

• “Just because you break up with someone doesn't mean you break up with their family, okay?” (Stacy, 13:52)

6. Highlights by Timestamp

• 01:43: Listener email tributes the show’s talent and praises "Psycho Stacy"
• 03:31 – 04:53: Jessica and Kevin clarify Stacy’s exaggerations, discuss their relationship’s public exposure
• 08:05 – 09:25: Relationship “boredom” and the Playboy collection is discussed
• 09:59 – 15:13: Stacy joins, the phone call timeline dispute, emotional escalations: peak drama
• 15:22 – 16:06: Stacy’s emotional reaction and signoff

7. Tone & Language

• The episode features a signature blend of humor, raw honesty, and empathy from the hosts.
• All parties’ discomfort and emotions are palpable, often surfacing as sarcasm, sharp retorts, or awkward laughter.
• Stacy in particular is unfiltered, oscillating between defensive and vulnerable, while Kevin strives for detachment.

Conclusion

The “Little Black Book Recap” offers a reality-radio masterclass: a simple premise spun into an unpredictable theater of awkwardness, catharsis, and crowd-pleasing spectacle, fueled largely by one unforgettable ex. The segment closes not so much with neat resolution as with an exhausted, collective “enough”—though the Bert Show cast’s chemistry and authenticity keep the mood lively, relatable, and entertaining to the last note.