The Bert Show — "Vault: Listeners Confess To Never Reading A Book"

Date: January 16, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show (via Pionaire Podcasting)

Episode Overview

This episode dives into an unusual confession: the act of never having read a full book, cover to cover. Inspired by Victoria Beckham’s public admission of the same, Bert and the team challenge their audience to call in if they share this experience. What begins as a segment the hosts expect to yield no responses quickly transforms into an eye-opening discussion as multiple listeners come forward, admitting they've never finished an entire book. The episode blends humor, disbelief, and curiosity as the cast unpacks the reasons behind this phenomenon and listener stories.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Victoria Beckham's Confession as the Starting Point

• Bert introduces the topic by referencing Victoria Beckham (Sporty/Posh Spice) revealing she has never read a book:
  • "Victoria Beckham just released a book...she confessed she has never read a book." (00:40)
• The cast is initially incredulous and skeptical that listeners will relate.

2. Listener Call-In Challenge

• Bert raises the bar:
  • "Is there any Bert show listener that has never, ever read a full book before, cover to cover?" (01:28)
• The rules are established: even children's books count, nothing from "cover to cover" means truly no full books at all.

3. Surprising Callers Admit to Never Reading a Book

• Miriam (First Caller) [02:19]

  • Has never read a book, though she is fully literate and has graduated college.
  • Relied on Cliff Notes throughout school; never finished even classics or children’s books.
  • "I grew up with a nanny who never read us any books. And I would just look at the pictures...I would read Cliff Notes." (02:31)
  • Works as a human resources manager at 21 years old.
  • When asked if she feels left out in conversation, Miriam admits:
    • "Not really. I mean, if it's a good book, I'll read the summary of it just so I know I'm talking about it..." (05:02)

• Cecilia (Second Caller) [05:28]

  • 28 years old, left school in 10th grade but is fully literate.
  • Has never finished any book, including children's books, with or for her kids.
  • "My kids read books, but I don't read them." (06:20)
  • Describes her kids being rough with books, explains her preference for magazines and "interesting" celebrity stories.
  • "Books is interesting to me." (08:15, self-correction: should be "aren’t interesting")

• Brian (Third Caller) [08:38]

  • 29 years old, college graduate working in computer programming and fitness training.
  • Uses books as references but never reads them fully:
    • "I have 165 IQ...but I've never read a book cover to cover." (09:22)
  • Never read more than a chapter at a time; attributes lack of drive for reading to upbringing.

4. Cast’s Reactions and Philosophical Discussion

• The hosts express a blend of shock, humor, and reflection:
  • "I feel sad for her, I really do...Because you pass that down to your kids." (08:33)
  • There’s conversation about how the habit (or absence) of reading might be generational or passed along through parental engagement.
  • Other listeners call in to express their astonishment, while one avid reader notes:
    • "I read, like, three books a week. But the reality is that, I mean, I know quite a few folks who don't read...reading cultivates an imagination and a vocabulary that you don't have if you don't read." (10:44)

5. Broader Themes

• The segment teases out themes around the value of reading, the impact of childhood experiences and parental influence, and alternative forms of consuming information (summaries, magazines, movies).
• The hosts acknowledge different learning and entertainment preferences, and the changing landscape around reading and literacy.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (on the premise):

  • "I think I've got the one question that will pertain to absolutely nobody in the Burt show listening audience." (00:05)

• Miriam (on college and work):

  • "I'm a manager…of human resources." (03:25)

• Cecilia (on kids and books):

  • "My kids read books, but I don't read them... Any book I buy them or any book they get from Happy Meals and Chick Fil A or something, they will sit there and…he was just tearing it up in the backseat." (06:20–07:00)

• Brian (on intelligence and reading):

  • "I have 165 IQ. I've been tested, but I've never read a book cover to cover." (09:22)

• Host (reflecting on sadness):

  • "Because you pass that down to your kids and all, you know." (08:38)

• Avid Reader Maria (caller):

  • "Reading cultivates an imagination and a vocabulary that you don't have if you don't read." (10:44)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 0:40 — Victoria Beckham's confession sparks the conversation.
• 1:28 — Challenge put to listeners: has anyone really never read a book?
• 2:19 — First caller Miriam admits to never finishing a book.
• 5:28 — Cecilia calls in; never read a book or to her kids.
• 8:38 — Brian, a literate, highly intelligent adult, joins the confessions.
• 10:44 — Avid reader Maria shares why reading matters to her and her family.

Summary & Tone

The Bert Show takes its signature blend of humor and authenticity to a surprisingly popular (and slightly polarizing) topic: adults who have never read a book from start to finish. While the cast enters the conversation with disbelief, the volume and candor of the calls challenge assumptions about reading, learning, and what counts as “literacy.” Listeners share stories shaped by upbringing, school strategies (Cliff Notes), parenting approaches, and personal taste. The mood remains open, nonjudgmental, and peppered with laughter, even as the topic unexpectedly touches on deeper issues of childhood, education, and culture.

For non-listeners:
This episode is both entertaining and revealing, showing that even experiences most consider “universal” often aren’t. Reading habits, or their absence, can come from a complex mix of personal, cultural, and circumstantial factors—and there’s always someone out there living a story you’ve never considered.