Vault: Most Boring Jobs

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – Most Boring Jobs

Date: December 5, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & More)
Theme: Exploring the reality—and pain—of holding the world’s most boring jobs

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into a surprisingly relatable listener experience: having a job so boring and pointless that employees do practically nothing all day—some for years at a time. The Bert Show crew and their callers share personal (and sometimes hilarious or exasperating) overviews of cushy yet dull roles. They explore the pros and cons of getting paid to do nothing, recount cringeworthy office moments, and muse about the psychological toll of total workplace boredom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Story That Sparked it All: A Government Job Gone Dry

• [01:34] Host: Shares a friend's story—an Ivy League MBA working in a government crime division in Philadelphia who, after a management shuffle, found herself and her colleagues literally doing nothing.
  • "She's taking Pilates in the middle of the day. She's leaving for hours at a time. Nobody questions it."
• Listener reactions: Most callers relate, citing long periods of "work" where the main challenge is fighting boredom or finding ways to pass time.

Caller Experiences: The Art of Looking Busy

Tammy – Riding Out the Clock

• [02:38] Tammy (Voice Disguised): Office manager/assistant whose job fizzled when the company owner moved away.
  • “I can leave, I can come. And then after I learn how to just forward my cell phone call just in case…”
• Notable moment: Confession to using the office for candlelight dinners and personal gatherings.
  • Host [04:10]: "I'm still stuck on you doing it on the conference?"
• Tammy is just "riding it out" for nine months, expecting the business to collapse but happy to collect a paycheck until then.

Tim – The King of Cushy

• [04:46] Tim (Voice Disguised): Describes over 10 years at a job where he does a split shift, barely works at all, and spends afternoons drinking beer.
  • “Nobody really even knows what I do around the office. And I'm basically all by myself in my own department.”

Jobless at the Water Department

• [05:24] Caller: Shares how her mother’s government job in the water department involves shopping online and doing her daughter’s research papers at work.
  • "It's ridiculous. She shops online all day…"
• Government jobs get special focus as notoriously hard places to get fired, with little oversight:
  • Host [05:49]: "In a lot of cases, these are government jobs... it's very hard to get fired."
  • Caller [06:48]: "Who's paying the salary for these government employees?"
  • Host: “You.”

Internship Ennui

• [06:53] Intern Emily: Not her current internship, but reflects on a summer printer company job sitting under a computer display, reading books and doing nothing for eight months, all while being very well paid.
  • “It was so boring. I’d sit...underneath [the display] and read a book. I didn’t ask a person if they needed help. I didn’t do anything.”

Gas Station Firebug

• Another host shares his own tale of working at a dead gas station:
  • “If you had one customer an hour...I got fired when they found me on surveillance tapes burning things.” [07:56]

Mary – Office Idle Queen

• [08:20] Mary (Voice disguised): Paid extremely well ($500/week, tax-free) to occupy an office, occasionally answer phones, but mostly download pictures, chat, and read magazines all day.
  • Host: “Are you supposed to be doing some work or you just don't have any job responsibilities?”
  • Mary: “They just need somebody to be in the office in case somebody calls... Sometimes I get a little bored, but I get paid extremely well for, like, doing nothing.”
• Hosts seem incredulous at the salary for so little work:
  • Host [09:07]: “$500 a week, tax free just to sit around and do nothing?”
  • Caller 3 [09:16]: “Wow.”
  • Host: “Yeah, I think I'd be going out of my mind also. Totally.”

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Relatable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host [01:34]: “She gets a paycheck every two weeks because they don't want to lose the department...she hasn't done a lick of work in over a year.”
• Tammy [04:34]: “I'm just riding it out.”
• Caller on government jobs [05:47]: “It's ridiculous. She does the Internet part of my research papers. It’s kind of ridiculous.”
• Host [06:48]: “Who's paying the salary for these government employees?”
  • Host: “You.”
• Caller (Intern Emily) [07:36]: “It was so boring...I would sit underneath [the computer displays] and read a book. I didn’t do anything.”
• Host [09:22]: “It's like what you said, like, you're just watching the minutes tick by, and it's like minutes turn into hours.”
• Host [09:41]: "Remember when your social studies teacher would put on a movie in class? ...You instantly start to gaze over."

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Important Timestamps

• [01:34]: The host introduces the main story about "most boring jobs."
• [02:38]: Tammy’s surreal office experience and creative uses of empty office space.
• [04:46]: Tim’s “split shift” cushy job—ten years of barely working.
• [05:24]: Caller describes her mother’s idle government job in the water department.
• [06:53]: Intern Emily on literally hiding and reading at work for months.
• [08:20]: Mary’s story: sitting in an office and collecting $500 a week for nothing.
• [09:22]: Closing reflections on the sheer tedium and psychological cost of such jobs.

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Tone & Style

Lively, humorous, occasionally incredulous—the Bert Show hosts and their callers happily recount, debate, and gently mock the bizarre world of ultra-boring employment. There’s a current of empathy for those suffering through these jobs, but also a shared sense of wonder (and sometimes jealousy) at the ease—and emptiness—of getting paid to do so little.

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Conclusion

In this episode, The Bert Show unearths a hidden reality: for some, the daily grind is a surreal struggle against boredom rather than stress. The stories are funny, sometimes a little shocking, and always honest about the pang of wasted potential that comes with a paycheck for nothing. From office managers to government employees to high school interns, it’s a peek into the weirdly hollow lives of people with the “world’s most boring jobs.”

Transcript

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[Host]

I was just telling these guys that my friend Susie came down from Philadelphia to visit Stacey and I over the weekend and she was really complaining because she works for the government up there and some like crime. She's a consultant to the crime, some crime specialist unit thing. It was so complicated I didn't even understand it. And she's got like this MBA at Harvard and she's a real brainiac and a real thinker and the first year that she was in this job, she loved it. It was so invigorating. For her every single day to go into work. But then there was a management change there, and everybody in her department, pretty much.

They need to keep the department, but there's just not enough work to go around, and they don't want to start losing people. So everybody in her department literally goes in every day, and nobody does any work at all. I mean, nothing. She's taking Pilates in the middle of the day. She's leaving for hours at a time. Nobody questions it. She gets a paycheck every two weeks because they don't want to lose the department, but she's going out of her mind because she hasn't done a lick of work in over a year. Now Tammy is on the voice disguiser. Not her real name. Hey, Tammy, you can relate to this?

[Zoey]

Oh, yes, I get a job, you know, I've pretty much been, like, an office manager, administrative assistant for the last 15 years, I guess. And anyway, the last one, this man, I went into his company, and he said he just bought three companies, and I was going to run them all out of the central big office. You know, this big office scatters empty furniture with, like, five offices, but nobody works there, so. But he says he's gonna have this generated here and generated there. Well, what he did was, I think he did buy the companies, and all he got me to do was just do collections. Well, eventually, after I collected everything, I found out he's got a divorce. He's moved to Florida. But he still wants me to come to that office and take calls. So in the meantime, I have my husband there, and we do it on the conference table. We have candlelight dinners and the others in the spring. He's the farthest to know. A payroll company does no payroll. So, you know, I get my paycheck courier to the office. It's in an office building where it has a deadbolt on the door. So nobody's gonna come there and do any fake delivery if they couldn't come in. So it's like, I can take. If, you know, my stepson, if he comes and stays with us, I can take him there. I mean, I can do anything I want. I can leave, I can come. And then after I learn how to just forward my cell phone call just in case he. They'll call once every few weeks, you.

[Host]

Know, and he's in Florida, so he's never in the office, so you can do whatever you want. And how long has this been going on?

[Zoey]

About nine months.

[Host]

You haven't worked in nine months?

[Caller 1]

I'm still stuck on you doing it on the conference?

[Zoey]

Oh, yeah. Friends just love it, you know, they ask, well, can I buy your office?

[Host]

Are you bored out of your mind, or is this a situation that you're not so upset with?

[Zoey]

Oh, no, no. He's gonna go out of business. I mean, I've collected all the money he can collect. Now he has so many collectors out of him, I'm just pretty much waiting for him to shut the door.

[Host]

Right, yeah. So you're just riding it out right now. All right, Tim.

[Caller 2]

I'm just.

[Zoey]

I'm riding it out.

[Host]

Thank you for calling.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, that's a whole other conversation about intimacy in the workplace, but, yeah, another time, another time.

[Host]

Hey, Tim needs to be on the voice disguiser also. Hey, Tim.

[Zoey]

Hey.

[Caller 1]

Hey.

[Host]

How are you?

[Zoey]

Ah, great. I've got probably the best cush job. It's been going on for more than 10 years. I show up, I barely work in the mornings, and I do, like a split shift. And usually during the afternoons I go to drink beer and stuff and come back in the afternoon.

[Drew Ski]

Nobody really even knows what I do around the office. And I'm basically all by myself in my own department. And I've been doing this for over 10 years, getting really good paychecks.

[Caller 3]

Hang on, Tim. I had a problem with the voice disguiser in the middle of that, and it kind of shut off.

[Zoey]

Oh, no.

[Host]

Is it almost time for traffic before Crash.

And Elon? Good morning. You are on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller 4]

Hi.

[Host]

Hi.

[Caller 4]

I just like to make a comment about my mother's job. She's been working there for about three and a half years, and she works in South William county, and she doesn't do anything. She shops online all day. And she's so bored. She does the Internet part of my research papers. It's kind of ridiculous.

[Caller 3]

What type of industry is she in?

[Caller 4]

She water department.

[Host]

In a lot of cases, these are government jobs. And for whatever reason, I've never had a government job, so I'm not exactly sure how the whole thing works. But I guess when you get into that job, it's very hard to get fired. Really, really tough to get fired.

[Caller 4]

It's ridiculous.

[Caller 3]

I think it's funny. I try to be safe about it and say, what type of industry is she in? And you're like, she works for Rick Case, Hyundai in Gwinnett automobiles. I mean.

[Host]

And how long did you say this has been going on now?

[Caller 4]

Three and a half years.

[Host]

Three and a half years. And hasn't done any work in three and a half years? No.

[Caller 4]

He has not.

[Caller 1]

And you can kind of sense that anybody that has had to deal with any kind of. For anything. You know how those workers are not quite motivated. They don't quite do it in a timely manner. Like, I mean, you can tell. Yeah. They don't care.

[Host]

They're not going anywhere. No. Because you have to fill out things in triplicates to get them fired. And then you got, you know.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Host]

So many different problems.

[Caller 4]

They love her so much at her job. They none of them do anything. It's ridiculous.

[Caller 1]

Oh, that is so disturbing.

[Caller 4]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Who's paying the salary for these government employees?

[Host]

You.

[Caller 1]

Me. That's right.

[Host]

Thank you for calling.

[Caller 4]

Thanks.

[Host]

Intern. Emily, you're not going to tell us about your internship where you haven't done anything in six months, have you? Well, because we're already on to you.

[Caller 2]

Not this time.

[Santa]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

When I was about 17 or 18, I took a job with a printer company doing sort of sales assistant stuff for, you know, just. They put us out in different store locations. I was obviously the one in the middle of nowhere. And I got paid extremely well, about three times what my other job was paying me. So I was like, cool. You know, a good summer job. I'll hang onto it for a while. And it was so boring. I'd sit. You know how computers are stacked? Like they have them all on display, and then underneath they have the ones that you sort of in the boxes that you take to the. To the cashier nearby. And I would sit underneath there and read a book. I didn't ask a person if they needed help. I didn't. I didn't do anything.

[Host]

How long was this going on for?

[Caller 2]

I lasted about eight months because I got so bored. And it was my senior year of high school. And, you know, on Saturday mornings that when we have our cricket and rugby matches and all of my friends are there, you know, sort of high school sport is as big as college sport is. So I was missing out on all of that for eight months. And I was like, this is ridiculous.

[Caller 3]

I worked for a job.

[Host]

We don't work at all for eight months.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Caller 3]

I worked at a gas station once part time. Same idea. Where there's just like. You're like, it was a Sunday afternoon, and it's like it was on a busy road that's busy during rush hour during the week. But, like, on Sunday, if you had one customer an hour. And I got fired when they found me on surveillance tapes burning things.

[Zoey]

That is so you.

[Host]

Mary here needs to be on the voice disguiser. She'll be the last call on this. Hey, Mary. Go ahead.

[Caller 2]

Hey.

[Zoey]

My job is awesome. I just pretty much sit in an office all day and do absolutely nothing. I get on my computer, download pictures, chat with friends, and just pretty much read magazines, do absolutely nothing.

[Host]

Are you supposed to be doing some work or you just don't have any job responsibilities?

[Zoey]

Well, like, my worry is pretty much, like, I answer phone calls every now and then, and I call some people every now and then, but pretty much there's like, nothing to do. They just need somebody to be in the office in case somebody calls, you know, I mean, so it's like, not. Sometimes I get a little bored, but I get paid extremely well for, like, doing nothing.

[Caller 1]

I know it sounds like a dream thing, but I would. No, I couldn't do that. I can't just have nothing to do and be satisfied.

[Host]

Can I ask you how much you're making?

[Zoey]

Yeah, I make $500 a week, tax free.

[Host]

$500 a week, tax free just to sit around and do nothing?

[Caller 3]

Wow.

[Host]

Yeah, I think that I'd be going out of my mind also. Totally. All right. Thank you for calling.

[Santa]

You're welcome.

[Host]

Bye. Bye.

[Caller 1]

It's like what you said, like, you're just watching the minutes tick by, and it's like minutes turn into hours.

[Caller 3]

You know what I caught myself doing last night? You were talking about watching the minutes stick by. It's the equivalent of. Remember when your social studies teacher would put on a movie in class and.

[Host]

It was like, you instantly start to gaze over.

[Caller 3]

Yes. And you get that. Like, I actually caught myself. I thought of this and I caught myself watching one on Georgia Public Broadcasting last night. And I had the thought, oh, my God, this is something they could have showed me in 10th grade. And I immediately would have looked at the clock and cursed the half second hand backwards movement every time the clock rised.

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