The Bert Show: Vault — Open Conversation About Parents Having "The Talk" With Their Kids

Date: November 19, 2025
Episode Summary by Pionaire Podcasting

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show revolves around the startling disconnect between parents’ perceptions and teens’ realities when it comes to conversations about sex and relationships—familiarly known as “the talk.” The hosts discuss recent survey results revealing how unaware most parents are about their teenagers’ sexual behaviors, and they invite both listeners and teens to share personal experiences, uncovering the challenges and awkwardness that surround opening lines of communication on this sensitive topic.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Survey on Teens' Sexual Behavior vs. Parents’ Assumptions

• The episode begins with Burt and the co-hosts reflecting on a recent "promiscuity poll" that compared answers from 100 teens and 100 parents about teenage sexual behaviors. The results highlighted a huge gap between what parents think and what teens are actually doing.

  • Receiving Oral Sex:
    • Teen response: 61% “yes”
    • Parents estimated: 10%
  • Performing Oral Sex:
    • Teens: 51%
    • Parents: 1%
    • Burt comments: “Not even close. Then there was the performed one and 51%. Half of the teens survey said, yes, they've performed that act. And only 1% of the parents thought that their teens had actually done that.” (02:10)
  • Other Behaviors (Showering with someone nude, sexting, underage sex, substance use):
    • Example: Showering nude with someone—teens: 27%, parents: 6%
    • Sexting or sexual conversations with strangers online—teens: 25%, parents: 3%
    • “That's scarier than any other stuff they're doing with each other.” – Rebecca (04:16)
  • The “buying porn” discussion reveals teens are accessing adult material in ways parents can hardly fathom.

2. Parental Denial and Naivety

• Across the board, the hosts note parents’ persistent disbelief or deliberate ignorance:
  • Jason quips: “I'm never letting Hayden out of the house. Never.” (03:41)
  • Jen observes: “I don't think moms are stupid. But I do think... they maybe push it outside of their minds.” (08:02)
• Caller stories reinforce that many parents either truly don’t know or choose not to see their children’s real behavior.

3. Listeners Call In: Real Stories and Hidden Truths

• Hairstylist's Story (06:30–08:02):
  A hairstylist recounts a suburban mother letting her teenage daughter’s girlfriend live with them, oblivious or unmoved by the nature of their relationship.

  • “You would never know this girl was a girl… But her mother is just helping this girl out… But in reality they're girlfriends and they're living right there in the same room. And the parent has no idea what is going on.” (07:23)
  • Hosts debate whether this is obliviousness or willful blindness.

• 16-Year-Old Caller (08:55–13:08):
  A candid call from a 16-year-old illustrates the gap between parent and teen understanding and emotional stakes of secrecy.

  • “Like me and my friends, we get away with so much because our parents are completely oblivious to what's going on.” (09:05)
  • She reveals she’s been sexually active with her boyfriend, always uses protection, but has never told her mother because she anticipates disappointment more than punishment.
  • “If I felt like that my mom would be understanding and like, be able to relate to me, I think that I would talk to her about it, but she would, like, completely go off the wall.” (10:07)
  • Despite having a close day-to-day bond with her mom, this subject remains untouchable.
  • “I think that it would make us like closer. I think that like if I could share that with her, I would. But...” (11:58)

4. The Stigma, Disappointment, and the Transition to Adulthood

• The hosts contemplate the struggle for both parents and teens during adolescence.
  • Rebecca reflects: “That's like the big secret that you feel like you have to keep from them. And it's so hard because your parents for the longest time, I think still see you as a kid when you really are becoming a young adult.” (12:27)
  • Jen emphasizes, “You're the parent... this is your job. And your job is to know that your child is going to end up being an adult and that you can't be disappointed when they become an adult.” (11:41)

5. More Data: Parents Almost Always Underestimate

• Reviewing further survey statistics, the hosts highlight continued gaps:
  • “The basic question. Had sexual intercourse? Half of the teens had. Over half. 55% of them had. The parents were at a 26% clip.” (13:33)
  • On condom use: “Had sexual intercourse without a condom? 29 of the teens said, yeah, we've done that. One in three parents, 1%.” (13:44)
  • Jen points out the obvious disconnect, “If they haven't talked to their kids about condoms, but yet they assume, well, there's no way they have sex without condoms, then... the line of communication has to be open.” (14:10)

6. Encouraging Parental Engagement—An 11-Year-Old’s Experience (15:02–17:25)

• A young parent shares how she proactively had “the talk” with her 11-year-old after her daughter asked about French kissing.
  • Was startled to learn fifth-grade classmates were engaging in “heavy petting.”
  • “That was just something I was completely unprepared for at 11 years old.” (15:59)
• The caller expresses hope that staying open and honest will keep her daughter communicating as she grows older.

7. The Challenge: Parents, Go Have “The Talk”

• Burt invites parents who’ve never had “the talk” to try it, then share how it went, hoping to learn whether post-conversation perceptions match reality.
  • “I'm really curious if after 24 hours, if you're glad you did it, was it uncomfortable? Did it go the way you thought it was gonna go?” (17:31)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Burt: “So not my little girl, she would never do that.” (02:13)
• Rebecca: “The one in four having sexual conversations with a stranger online–I think that's scarier than any of the other stuff they're doing with each other.” (04:16)
• Caller (16yo): “If I felt like that my mom would be understanding and like, be able to relate to me, I think that I would talk to her about it, but she would, like, completely go off the wall.” (10:07)
• Jen: “Your job is to know that your child is going to end up being an adult and that you can't be disappointed when they become an adult.” (11:41)
• Caller (11yo's mom): “I was completely unprepared for [my 11-year-old] to have those experiences and ask those questions.” (15:59)

Important Timestamps

• [01:32] Introduction to the shock and findings from the teen vs. parent poll
• [03:15] First discussion about parents’ major misjudgment on their children’s sexual activity
• [04:16] Deep dive into sexting and parental fears
• [06:30] Hairstylist’s anonymous caller story about a closeted teen couple
• [08:55] Teen caller details her secret sexual relationship and the emotional consequences
• [13:33] Discussion of teens' sexual behavior vs. parents' beliefs (intercourse, condom use, etc.)
• [15:02] Parent shares the reality of “the talk” with her 11-year-old daughter
• [17:31] Challenge issued to parents: have the talk and report back

Tone & Language

The conversation is direct, candid, sometimes humorous but underpinned by concern and a desire for openness. The hosts blend real talk with empathy, aiming to spur parents into more honest and supportive dialogues with their teens.

Takeaways

• The gulf between what teens experience and what parents believe is immense.
• Teens crave but often lack an approachable, non-judgmental venue for discussing sexual health and choices with parents.
• Parents’ discomfort or denial delays valuable education and may leave teens to fend for themselves.
• Starting “the talk” earlier and sustaining open communication can build trust and support healthy, informed choices.

Final Thought:
This episode is a wake-up call for all parents: your children’s secrets may be bigger, and their experiences more advanced, than you think. Taking the first awkward step toward honest dialogue could make all the difference.