The Bert Show – "Vault: PR Crisis Help"

Date: December 2, 2025
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into “crisis PR management” for real-life personal blunders. Blending their signature humor and candid talk, the cast playfully brainstorms plausible excuses and “publicist spins” for embarrassing or difficult situations submitted by listeners—including cheating accusations and discovering incriminating photos. The team and their audience join in creating tongue-in-cheek PR salvages for these mini “personal scandals,” exploring how someone might manage a personal screw-up in the style of a celebrity PR rep.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Premise: Everyday Crisis PR Spin

• [00:50 - 02:11] The cast sets up the show by inviting listeners to call in with personal scandals or crises, promising to concoct “no truth necessary” excuses—much like celebrity publicists might.
• Notable Quote:

  “Isn't it the job of a publicist to create believable lies?” – Bert [02:11]
  This frames their tongue-in-cheek approach to everyday PR stunts.

2. Case Study 1: Ethan’s Cheating Scandal

• [02:32 - 04:22] Recapping a caller’s story: Ethan’s girlfriend discovers his affair with a married coworker and threatens to expose him to his workplace and the other woman’s husband.
• The team riffs on possible PR spins for Ethan’s predicament.
  • Spin Ideas:
    • Blame the girlfriend for snooping and “manufacturing” evidence. [05:07]
    • Claim the emails and photos were digitally doctored. [05:28]
    • Play the victim: Express hurt about private photos being shared. [05:40]
  • Cast Commentary:
    The hosts agree that sometimes the scandal is too deep to salvage and the only way out is to come clean—though they make creative attempts at “just plausible” denials.
  • Notable Quote:

    “Some are so bad where I think the publicist would have to say, dude, you just gotta come clean.” – Bert [04:51]

  • Humorous Moment:

    “What would Charlie Sheen’s publicist do?” [04:59]—Suggesting even the most notorious reps would struggle.

3. Case Study 2: Gabby and the Found Photo

• [06:37 - 18:36] Listener Gabby calls in with a dilemma: Her new boyfriend found a recent photo (taken with the camera he bought her) of Gabby and her ex—the high school sweetheart—which she can’t explain away.
• The Bert Show spins a variety of explanations:
  • Claim the camera had an old roll of film. [09:35]
  • Say she “ran into” her ex by chance and snapped a quick photo (problem: distance/timing makes this hard). [12:09]
  • Take a photo “as proof nothing happened” if anyone saw them together. [12:31, 13:13]
  • Make fun of ex’s looks for friends (“He’s gotten ugly!”). [16:17]
  • Just flat-out deny it’s her (“That’s not me!”—the “R. Kelly PR” defense). [17:41]
• Gabby’s Dilemma Deepens:
  • The photo is between two with her current boyfriend, and her boyfriend already has some suspicions about her friendship with the ex. [10:30, 16:00]
  • Gabby admits she still considers her ex a best friend, which adds to her boyfriend’s distrust. [14:49]
• Community Involvement:
  • Listeners call in offering spins, including “reverse psychology”—if I was hiding something, I wouldn’t leave the photo. [17:21]
  • The ultimate conclusion: None of the “spins” are great, but outright denial or an “innocent” explanation are the best available plays.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Takes a village to lie.” – Bert [11:35]
  • “Why would I take a picture if something was...?” – Pam, caller [17:23]
  • “You were taking a picture of this guy actually to make fun of him with your friends…” – Bert Show Cast [16:50]
• Memorable Exchange:
  • On denying the obvious:

    C: “What if it's so obvious? Do what a guy would do. Just deny that that's you in the picture.” [17:41]

4. Broader Observations on Personal PR

• [11:31, 14:31] The hosts reflect on the value of plausible deniability and the art of “crisis prevention” (like not repeating the bad behavior).
• Gabby is advised not to see her ex again if she wants her story to stick. [14:30]
• Sometimes, “the best PR plan is to have not done the thing in the first place.” [14:31]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |-----------|----------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:11 | Bert | "Isn't it the job of a publicist to create believable lies?" | | 04:51 | Bert | "Some are so bad where I think the publicist would have to say, dude, you just gotta come clean." | | 09:35 | Cast | "She put an old memory stick in a new camera and forgot to format it." (failed spin attempt) | | 11:35 | Bert | "Takes a village to lie." | | 17:23 | Pam (caller) | “If there was something I was trying to hide, why would I take a picture? Duh. Hello.” | | 17:41 | Cassie | “Just deny that that's you in the picture.” (“R. Kelly PR”) |

Key Segment Timestamps

• [00:50] – Introduction of the episode concept ("PR spin" for personal crises)
• [02:32–05:13] – Ethan’s Cheating Scandal and PR brainstorming
• [06:44–18:36] – Gabby’s found photo crisis & roundtable of “explanations”
• [11:35, 14:31] – Theoretical PR lessons (“takes a village to lie” / don’t get caught again)
• [16:17–17:53] – Wildest “spins” (making fun of the ex, denying it’s you, reverse psychology)

Tone & Takeaways

The episode is playful and irreverent, poking fun at the artifice of both celebrity and everyday scandal management. The Bert Show crew—blending honesty with comedic creativity—reminds listeners that while you can try to spin your way out of trouble, sometimes the best PR move is not to make the mistake at all.

Useful for listeners:
If you've ever wondered how a team of snarky morning show hosts (and listeners) might approach your worst personal faux pas with Hollywood-level “damage control,” this episode is both entertaining and enlightening!