Vault: She Kissed Her Coworker But She's Married!

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: She Kissed Her Coworker But She's Married!

Original Air Date: December 10, 2025
Podcast Host: The Bert Show Cast (Burt, Bird, Jen, Jeff, callers, and guest Mandy)

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Overview

This episode centers around a listener, Mandy, who calls into The Bert Show seeking advice after kissing a married coworker while away at a company conference. Mandy, herself married, is grappling with guilt, embarrassment, and a desire for closure – primarily, she wonders if the coworker owes her an apology for his actions after the encounter. The episode delves deep into questions of infidelity, boundaries, personal responsibility, marital issues, and the nature of closure after a mistake.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mandy’s Story: The Confession

• Mandy, married 10 years with a child, attended a work conference. She admits admiring a male colleague from afar.
• A night of drinking led to a flirtatious conversation with him and others, involving explicit discussions about sex.
  Quote:
  • Mandy: “We were just not talking about sex.”
  • Bird: “You were talking about sex?”
  • Mandy: “Yeah.” [03:38]
• The first night, nothing physical happened. The next night, while sober, Mandy and the coworker kissed privately in his room before his roommate interrupted.
• Mandy stopped things from going further, stressing she was sober and “completely knew what I was getting into.” [05:03]
• After the kiss, the coworker avoided Mandy the next day, leaving her feeling foolish and hurt.

2. Why Does Mandy Want an Apology or Closure?

• Mandy isn't considering telling her husband, but feels wounded by her coworker’s coldness after the kiss:
  Mandy: “I wanna call and say, you know, I want an apology.” [07:12]
• The hosts push back, questioning why she expects an apology, noting both were complicit and married.

3. Perspectives from the Hosts

• Personal Responsibility:
  • Burt and Bird stress Mandy is an adult and chose her actions knowingly.
  • Burt: “You’re a grown woman. Come on now.” [08:36]
  • Bird: “You were doing the kissing also.” [08:46]
• Why Seek Apology?
  • The hosts argue Mandy seeks closure with the wrong person and that her issues are with her marriage, not the coworker.
  • Jen: “Drop him like a bad habit and you sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband and let him know what’s going on...there’s trouble in your marriage.” [12:00]
• Flipping the Script:
  • Burt urges Mandy to consider if the roles were reversed and her husband had done the same.
    Burt: “...turn the tables. If your husband came to you and said, well, first of all, she kissed me, but I kissed her for about five minutes and I just need closure on this...” [13:17]

4. Calls from Listeners: Tough Love

• Liz: “This poor woman is absolutely starving for attention...She’s pathetic.” [09:39]
• Todd: “She owes her husband an apology. I mean, she wanted to [commit] adultery first in her heart, and then she went through it with the kissing...” [11:14]
• General consensus from callers: Mandy’s behavior is self-indulgent and she owes an apology to her husband, not the coworker.

5. The Real Issue – The Marriage, Not the Kiss

• The cast emphasizes that Mandy’s behavior reflects unresolved issues in her marriage.
  • Burt: “You’re putting too much importance on this man. It’s feelings about your husband that is bothering you, not feelings about this guy.” [13:05]
• Jen: “If you are getting excited by some random co worker at a convention, you can’t be away from your husband for two days without...kissing somebody else, then there’s issues in your marriage you guys need to uncover. And do it now before it turns into a full-on affair...” [12:00]
• They caution that unless Mandy confronts issues in her marriage, the pattern may repeat.
  • Burt: “Fix the marriage...This will happen again if you don’t fix the marriage.” [13:45]

6. “Affair” or Not? – Debate About Cheating

• The cast discusses whether a single kiss constitutes an affair or just a mistake.
  • Burt: “The whole issue should be the fact I had an affair.” [14:09]
  • Jen: “I think an affair is worse...it’s both horrible. But I think an affair would be much more devastating for a marriage.” [14:53]

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “Is voice disguise wrong? She sounds like an electric guitar.” – Playful start as the hosts set up the segment. [01:34]
• “I need to...but it’s—I don’t know. I can’t get past it.” – Mandy struggling to let go. [07:34]
• “Your question being a new cheater...is there a rule of etiquette? Like, once this occurs, does he owe you an explanation or an apology?” – Jeff highlighting Mandy's real question. [07:38]
• “He was just at a convention. He was gonna get lucky and get lucky.” – Bird, wryly summing up the coworker’s likely perspective. [12:39]
• “Some people would say that she made a grave mistake, but I don’t think—I wouldn’t consider it an affair.” – Jen, defining her view on the boundaries of infidelity. [14:28]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:34 – Mandy’s masked call begins (voice disguised)
• 02:07–05:36 – Mandy narrates the incident: the conference, the kiss, aftermath
• 07:12–08:16 – Mandy asks if she deserves an apology, hosts challenge her logic
• 09:37–11:26 – Listener calls weigh in, provide tough love
• 12:00–13:45 – Hosts urge Mandy to focus on her marriage and honesty with her husband
• 14:09–15:06 – Debate over definition of affair vs. mistake

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Tone and Style

The episode is classic Bert Show: candid, humorous but direct, with lively banter and real talk. The hosts offer tough love but also empathy for Mandy’s obvious remorse—though they do not sugarcoat their opinions or the consequences of her actions. Listener calls reinforce the blunt style, with little patience for self-pity but a call for self-reflection.

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Summary Takeaways

• Mandy’s dilemma is less about her coworker, and more a symptom of unresolved issues in her marriage.
• The show’s advice: “Let it go,” don’t seek more drama with the coworker, and be honest with your husband.
• Infidelity, even if “just” a kiss, is a serious wake-up call; confronting underlying marital dissatisfaction is critical.
• Closure should be sought within oneself and through open communication with one’s partner—not from the other participant in the indiscretion.

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For listeners (or the curious), this episode delivers a no-holds-barred exploration of emotional boundaries, accountability, and how moments of weakness can force needed conversations in a relationship.

Transcript

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[Burt]

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[Bird]

The Birch show all right. Is voice disguise wrong? Yeah.

[Burt]

She sounds like an electric guitar.

[Bird]

Good morning. Hey, Mandy.

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Bird]

How are you today?

[Mandy]

I'm doing pretty good.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

How are you?

[Bird]

Good. Birchill. Mandy joins us because she is in a bit of a predicament here and she's not exactly sure how to handle it. All right, now that's your introduction.

[Mandy]

Okay. Do you want the 32nd?

[Jen]

No, give us the goods. Get it on.

[Jeff]

Why don't you set 30 seconds is a goal for yourself and then you'll probably wrap it up in about three minutes. It'll be fine.

[Mandy]

Okay. Anyway, well, I married, been married 10 years and have a child and I work for a long, you know, a large company and there's a guy that works in another market for our company that I just thought was really cute, kind of admired him from afar. And then.

At a company conference a couple weeks ago, I had some liquid courage and struck up a conversation with them. And we talked for several hours and got along really well. Just, you know, talking about tv, movies and work and just, you know, basic stuff, nothing big. So. And then I Called his room, when I got back to my room, because I was pretty out of control as far as being intoxicated or whatever. So I just called and kind of told him that, you know, I think I made a wrong impression of who I really am, and I felt really bad, and I was embarrassed, and he was really sweet about it and said, you know, no big deal. You're fine. We think you're really cool. And, you know, don't worry about it. You know, everything that was said in this room will stay here. Don't worry about a thing. So the next morning, we were in the same meeting because our bosses report to the same guy, and I couldn't even look at him. I was still embarrassed because there were a bunch of us in his hotel room.

[Burt]

Why are you embarrassed? Why did you apologize?

[Bird]

What'd you do?

[Mandy]

Well, we were just not talking about sex.

[Bird]

You were talking about sex?

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Bird]

All right.

[Mandy]

Just talking about it. But there was a bunch of people.

[Burt]

In there, but nothing happened.

[Mandy]

Nothing happened that night at all, so.

[Burt]

And when you apologize, you were still drunk?

[Mandy]

Oh, yeah.

[Burt]

Because I. I think those are the funniest or sometimes most irritating apologies for somebody's. Look, man, I'm.

Yeah.

[Bird]

Is that the only thing that happened between you and dude? Okay, let's go.

[Mandy]

So the next morning, I was still embarrassed, so I couldn't even look at him. And, you know, he spoke to me, and I was just, like, looking at the floor and said hi and went on. And then later that night, we had another company party, and I ran into him in the hallway, and then I was like, you know, I'm kind of sorry I didn't really talk to you today. I'm just still trying to get past last night and all this stuff. So he still, you know, reassured me everything was fine, and, you know, no big deal. Forget about it. Had a group pug, you know, went on. Then he proceeds to get really drunk that night, and we danced and just had a really good time and all this stuff. So then he said everybody was going back to his room and come on up. So I went up there with him. Well, nobody was showing up, the two of us.

[Bird]

Are you sober at this point?

[Mandy]

I am.

[Bird]

Okay.

[Mandy]

One part that bugs me, because I was sober and totally knew what I was getting into. But we just. We kissed for a little bit, and then his roommate came in. Thank God. But he was really persistent about taking it further. It just was really bugging me.

[Jeff]

You know why that is?

[Mandy]

Don't you say what?

[Jeff]

You know why that is.

[Bird]

Don't you.

[Jeff]

Because he's a guy, and you appeared to be easy.

[Mandy]

I know.

[Bird]

And you're up in his hotel room.

[Burt]

And you had just talked, obviously, explicitly about sex night before, and you guys.

[Bird]

Are gonna love it.

[Mandy]

I cut it off. I was like, you guys are not gonna shut up about this, so I'm leaving.

[Bird]

Okay. But now let's take it from his perspective. Now you're up in his.

[Mandy]

And that's why I called. I was like, okay, that's not me.

[Burt]

Right?

[Mandy]

But yeah, but he obviously still.

[Jeff]

Let me tell you what happens when a guy gets a phone. No matter what you say, if a guy's out in a hotel room, like, on a road trip or whatever, and a woman who's been talking about sex with him all night calls his hotel room, no matter what she says, he hears, God, she wants me. Enough of me.

[Bird]

And then when you show up to his hotel room and it's only the two of you, and you're surprised by that, yet you still don't leave. He's thinking, all right, this is going somewhere.

[Jeff]

Car's gone. Time in.

[Burt]

And then you start kissing on him. And then you wonder, oh, my. Why does he want to take it further?

[Jeff]

You didn't. What do you mean? You didn't kiss him?

[Mandy]

I didn't initiate it.

[Jeff]

But you still kissed him.

[Bird]

All right, let's hear that. Go ahead. So you guys kiss.

[Mandy]

His roommate showed up, and I didn't want to make it obvious something was going on, so I talked to him for a minute, and then I bolted. And so the next day at lunch, you know, I saw him again, and I sat at his table and was talking to some other people, and he would not even look at me. I mean, totally blew me off. And so then I'm feeling completely foolish, and I kind of. What I'm struggling with here is not whether or not to tell my husband. I'm not telling my husband. This is not gonna happen again. But I wanna call and say, you know, I want an apology.

[Jen]

Why?

[Burt]

Well, first of all, you're married. I think that's an important key to the story.

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And he's married, so, I mean, I don't understand why your ego is so bruised and now you'd have been an apology from him when you shouldn't have been doing anything that you did in the first place. Yeah.

[Bird]

This relationship's not going anywhere.

[Commercial Announcer]

Right?

[Bird]

This.

[Burt]

So why just.

[Bird]

Why don't you just let it go?

[Mandy]

I need to. But it's. I don't know. I can't get past It.

[Jeff]

So your question being a new cheater. Your question is, I'm not up to this. Your question is, is there a rule of etiquette? Like, once this occurs, does he owe you an explanation or an apology?

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Bird]

Well, you know you're gonna get beat up here, right?

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Bird]

Okay, well, I don't think. 404, 741, 1005.

[Jeff]

I don't think she's gonna get beat up.

[Burt]

I think it goes further with what Bird and Jeff were trying to say. Like, I mean, from his perspective. You talk about sex explicitly one night. The next night you go up to his room and you're kissing him. Then you cut it off. I mean, what purpose does he have to strike up more conversation with you? Because obviously you're not gonna follow through on what he thought you started initiating, so what kind of are you gonna. How can he. Do you honestly expect him to apologize to you? Cause what does he have to apologize for?

[Jen]

To me?

[Mandy]

For trying to talk me into something neither one of us.

[Burt]

Oh, you're a grown woman. Come on now.

[Mandy]

Yeah, but I feel like, because I, you know, I had my wits about me, that I prevented something a lot worse from happening.

[Bird]

I still don't understand why he owes you an apology. I mean, you were doing the kissing also.

[Mandy]

But I was also saying a lot of no's.

[Jeff]

But you still made out with him.

[Burt]

You're not 15.

[Mandy]

I mean, this is not 15 again.

[Burt]

Well, that's your problem. The thing is, you're a grown. He kisses you, you kiss him back. I mean, this stupid thing about. Well, he started it. No, I started it. No, you kissed, okay? And you wanted to go further, but because you had your wits about you, you didn't. But yeah, I'm with Burt. Why does he have to apologize for that?

[Bird]

Yeah, I say let it go. I mean, no harm, no foul here. Just go.

[Jeff]

What. What does your husband think you should do?

[Bird]

Hey, Mandy, I'm gonna put you on a hold, right? Because I can't put two people in the voice disguiser at the same time. So hold on one sec. I'll take a couple calls and I'll come back to you.

[Burt]

All right?

[Bird]

But I expect if I have to make a prediction here, you're gonna get beat up pretty badly.

[Mandy]

Okay.

[Bird]

Alright, hold on.

[Mandy]

Hi, Liz.

[Bird]

You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Liz]

This poor woman is absolutely starving for attention.

[Mandy]

She's pathetic.

[Liz]

It looks like she's so bored with her life that she needs to stir up some attention for herself and make.

[Mandy]

Other people miserable like herself.

[Bird]

It just makes. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I feel disrespected because of the way you talked to me and treated me, even though I just screwed around on my husband and you screwed around on your what? I think different levels of disrespect.

[Burt]

Well, I think it's the complex issue. I think she is. She's. Her and Jen both are hitting it on, talking about her need for attention, her guilt or whatever, and she's doing that female lukewarm thing where I'm not going to commit to the affair, but I'm not going to not try. So. And then I'm going to do a little bit. So I'm not going to, you know, make a decision one way or the other. And then when it doesn't go the way I want it to, then I'm going to blame the other person for it because it's his fault, you know, and. No, I mean, she put herself in that situation and the issues surround her and her husband, not her and this guy.

[Bird]

Good morning. Journey.

[Liz]

Yes.

[Bird]

What a great name.

[Liz]

Thank you.

[Bird]

You're on all the hits Q100.

[Liz]

All right. Thank you. I think she's a big idiot. I really do. Because first of all, okay, she's sitting there saying that she, you know, was interested in this guy. She got the nerve to finally talk to him. Talk to him for what? If she wasn't going to go all the way, you know, she had second thought or second or doubts about it after it started getting into it because her husband and her kids or whatever started flashing or. So I think she's a big idiot. And this is how men or whatever, or women, some women who do like guys or whatever, they don't want to take that chance with some women or whatever because of women like her. She's just an idiot.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Bird]

Hey, Todd. You're on all the hits Q100.

[Liz]

Yeah.

[Mandy]

As far as I'm concerned, she owes her husband apology. I mean, she wanted to committed adultery first in her heart, and then she went through it with the kissing. So she owes her husband an apology.

[Liz]

I don't see why she expects the guy to apologize. I mean, she's totally crazy.

[Bird]

All right, let me get Mandy back on him. Hey, Mandy.

[Mandy]

Yeah?

[Bird]

I told you, you're gonna get beat up here. I. I just. It doesn't make. It doesn't make any sense to me why you need things to conclude okay with this guy.

[Mandy]

I think Jim hit the nail on the head. I think that if we just kind of just got it out in the open between the two of us and just said, you know, bring some closure to it, then I can just forget about it.

[Bird]

You should be able to forget about it anyway.

[Mandy]

What do you mean bothering me, Bird?

[Burt]

What do you mean?

[Jen]

What do you mean the two of us? You and who?

[Burt]

You and your co worker?

[Jen]

I don't think that the co worker you should ever speak to him ever again. I think you drop him like a bad habit and you sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband and let him know what's going on. I don't think that this is a bad enough situation that he would leave you. But I think that it brings up that there's trouble in your marriage. If you are getting excited by some random co worker at a convention, you can't be away from your husband for two days without getting too wasted talking about sex and kissing somebody else, then there's issues in your marriage you guys need to uncover. And do it now before it turns into a full on affair with somebody else.

[Burt]

Because listen to yourself. You're talking about we've gotten it out in the open and we need closure. You sound like it's a relationship.

[Bird]

Yeah, he was just looking at tapping.

[Burt]

He was just at a convention. He was gonna get lucky and get lucky.

[Jen]

I don't condone his behavior either. Cause you said he was married. I mean, I'm not saying that he needs to have the green light or whatever, just drop him like a bad habit because it was a bad mistake. Drop that. But you need to be honest in your marriage because if, if your husband ever found out without you coming to him first and confessing it, then your marriage is over.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Bird]

What's the old cliche that you go outside of your marriage to find things that you're not finding in it?

[Burt]

Right. And you're putting too much importance on this man. I mean this is. But listen, I'm. You're putting too much important on this man. It is feelings that about your husband that is bothering you, not feelings about this guy.

[Mandy]

Right.

[Burt]

And if, and again, turn the tables. If your husband came to you and said, well, first of all, she kissed me, but I kissed her for about five minutes and I just need closure on this. So that's why I keep contacting her. I don't think you would be very happy about that.

[Mandy]

You're right, you're right.

[Burt]

And I know you're laughing about it, but this is serious.

[Jen]

We're just trying to be like a circle of girlfriends over the last one.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

That's what I Need.

[Mandy]

Because I can't talk about it to anybody.

[Bird]

Giving you a little tough love.

[Mandy]

No, no, no, no.

[Bird]

All right.

[Mandy]

I want self loathe. Huh?

[Burt]

Fix the marriage, though. Ajen is right. This will happen again if you don't fix the marriage.

[Bird]

Or you'll go and you'll find this guy again.

[Mandy]

No.

[Bird]

You sure you don't want to call this guy back and make sure everything's okay just to find him one more time and then maybe continue this relationship?

See, Jen's right. You gotta let this go.

[Mandy]

Yeah. Okay.

[Bird]

Okay.

[Mandy]

Thanks, guys.

[Burt]

Bye.

[Mandy]

Bye. Bye.

[Bird]

Crazy.

[Burt]

I just, I. I really. I don't understand how people have gotten to the point now where it's okay. I don't know. I mean, the whole issue should be the fact I had an affair.

[Bird]

See, I think in a lot of people's minds right there that I think a lot of people would say, ah, she just kiss him. It's not an affair.

[Burt]

Absolutely.

[Jen]

I don't care. Some people would say that she made a grave mistake, but I don't think. I wouldn't consider it an affair.

[Burt]

I think. Is that adultery definition?

[Jen]

Oh, absolutely, it's adultery. But an affair to me is having feelings and emotions for a person in an ongoing relationship behind your partner's back. Like, to me, that is the definition of affair.

[Bird]

Well, this is really kind of what she's doing, though.

[Jen]

Yes. I mean, if.

[Burt]

Yes.

[Jen]

I think an affair is worse.

It's hard to qualify the two because it's both horrible. But I think an affair would be much more devastating for a marriage.

[Bird]

The Bird Show.

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