Vault: She's In The Hot Seat For Disciplining Her Sister's Kids

Summary

---

The Bert Show: Vault Episode Summary

Episode: She's In The Hot Seat For Disciplining Her Sister's Kids
Date: December 15, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)

---

Episode Overview

This episode features a lively, candid discussion centered on a dilemma from listener Lisa: Is it ever acceptable to discipline (specifically, spank) someone else's child—and what are the consequences when parenting styles collide within a family? The cast and audience weigh in passionately, exploring boundaries, trust, discipline strategies, and family dynamics with their signature blend of humor, honesty, and real talk.

---

Main Topic Introduction (01:02 – 03:20)

• Lisa’s Dilemma:
  Lisa, a listener, shares her story: her sister left her young daughter (age 5) in Lisa’s care for a day. The niece misbehaved, using rude language, playing rough, and influencing Lisa’s son. After timeouts failed, Lisa spanked her niece—consistent with her own parenting style, but contrary to her sister’s rules.
• When Lisa told her sister, a conflict erupted; her sister (who has a “no spanking” policy) became furious and stopped speaking to her.

Memorable Quote:

• Lisa: "She was just a terror this whole day. ... I spanked my niece and her behavior completely changed... but when my sister came to pick her up that evening... she just flipped out, and she. We have a no spanking policy." (01:20 – 03:10)

---

Framing the Debate: Who Has the Right to Discipline? (03:20 – 05:25)

• Two Core Issues Identified:
  1. The appropriateness of someone other than a parent (even family) physically disciplining a child.
  2. The impact of parental authority being undermined in front of the child.
• Host Reaction:
  Bert: "If it was my kid, nobody lays a hand on my kid except me... I'd be pretty upset." (04:02 – 05:25)

---

Audience Call-Ins and Cast Opinions (05:25 – 14:06)

Strong Opposition to Spanking by Non-Parents (05:36 – 06:44)

• Callers and hosts disagree: some insist no one else should physically discipline their child, others believe trusted relatives have some leeway.
• Quote:
  David (caller): "You didn’t have permission. You shouldn’t put your hands on your niece…Spanking a kid is acting out in anger by the parent." (05:45 – 06:04)

Defending Lisa’s Choice - Familiarity and Trust (07:43 – 08:58)

• Callers and some hosts suggest: Entrusting your child to a family member implies trust in their judgment, including discipline.
• Quote:
  Terry (caller): "If she felt like she trusted her to keep her, then she should have trusted her judgment as well." (07:42 – 08:18)
• The cast reflects on their own family dynamics and whether certain relatives would be allowed to spank their children.

Nuances of “Family Doesn’t Always Mean Permission” (09:01 – 10:53)

• Discussion on whether knowing about a “no spanking” rule changes the situation.
• Bert: “I would never spank somebody else's kids. Doesn't matter if my brother's sister's, relatives or not. ... I will discipline my child with spanking, but nobody else.” (09:24 – 09:43)
• The cast debates whether different family roles (e.g., grandma vs. uncle) make a difference in discipline boundaries.

Extending the Debate: Teachers, Nannies, and Outsiders (11:03 – 12:50)

• Would it be different if a teacher or nanny administered discipline?
• Consensus forms that, for most, spanking by teachers crosses a line, even among those comfortable with family-administered spanking.

Trust and Consistency Versus Parental Boundaries (12:55 – 14:06)

• Some callers express that when you leave your child with family, consistent discipline is expected (“no two sets of rules”).
• However, even those open to family spanking often draw the line with friends, teachers, or strangers.

Humor and Tangents (Interspersed throughout)

• The cast playfully suggests “creative alternatives” to discipline (with comic exaggerations about leashes and shock collars, 07:20 – 14:00) but quickly remind listeners these are jokes.
• Quote: Host (joking): “What if you could develop a collar...you could call a number and actually shock him electronically, and it would have a recording of your voice.” (14:08 – 14:40)

---

Episode Wrap-Up and Emotional Touchpoints (15:00 – 15:18)

• Lisa expresses her hope that her sister will eventually speak to her again.
• Hosts empathize but maintain that respecting another parent’s rules, especially regarding discipline, is essential to trust.

Memorable Quotes:

• Lisa: "I just wish my sister would talk to me again." (15:11)
• Bert: "Yeah, she will." (15:16)

---

Key Takeaways

Parental Boundaries Reign Supreme

• Regardless of personal discipline style, most agree: physically disciplining someone else’s child without explicit permission strains trust and family relationships.

Communication is Crucial

• If you’re babysitting, clarify discipline expectations ahead of time. Even among close family, assumptions can lead to rifts.

Consistency vs. Philosophy

• The challenge of maintaining consistent rules for all kids in care is real, but doesn't override a parent’s express wishes.

Family Dynamics are Personal

• The cast’s anecdotes reveal how emotional, messy, and deeply personal these boundaries can be. Even within the same family, expectations differ widely.

---

Notable Moments & Timestamps

• Lisa’s Story and Confession: 01:20 – 03:10
• Host Bert’s Boundaries: 04:02 – 05:25
• David’s Opposition Call: 05:45 – 06:04
• Terry’s Defense Call: 07:42 – 08:18
• Host Bert on Grandma vs. Uncle: 09:24 – 09:43
• Cultural Shift (“we don’t believe in spanking anymore”): 11:23 – 11:38
• Humorous Tangents (Shock Collars, Leashes): 14:08 – 14:57
• Lisa’s Hope for Reconciliation: 15:11 – 15:18

---

Memorable Quotes

• Lisa: "I spanked my niece and her behavior completely changed...But my sister just flipped out, and she—we have a no spanking policy." (03:00)
• Bert: "I'd be pretty upset, too. If it was my kid, nobody lays a hand on my kid except me." (04:02)
• David (caller): "You didn't have permission. ... If you can't come up with another way to discipline a child other than putting your hands on them, then you got some problems of your own." (05:45 – 06:04)
• Terry (caller): "If she felt like she trusted her to keep her, then she should have trusted her judgment as well." (07:42 – 08:18)
• Bert: "I would never spank somebody else's kids...I will discipline my child with spanking, but nobody else." (09:24 –09:43)
• Lisa: "I just wish my sister would talk to me again." (15:11)

---

Episode Tone

• Authentic, humorous, spirited, occasionally provocative, but always rooted in empathy for the challenges of parenting and familial trust.

---

Summary Prepared For: Listeners seeking a candid, detailed recap of the parenting/discipline debate and family dynamics explored on The Bert Show.

Transcript

[A]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first. There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

[B]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north. And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[A]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes if network's bus fees extra. See mint mobile.com.

[C]

The bird show Birch Show Listener Lisa, how are you today?

[D]

I'm good, how are you?

[C]

Good. You have us all intrigued already because I kind of pre promoted what you were going to talk about a couple of minutes ago and we're already starting to fight about it.

[E]

Yep.

[D]

Oh no.

[C]

So go ahead, tell everybody else what's going on with you and your sister.

[D]

Okay. I have an older sister. She has three kids. She's a great mom. And this past weekend the two older ones had to go to a soccer tournament and she left the youngest one with me. He's my son's age or she's sorry. She's my son's age, 5. And the whole day she was just acting up. She was being very rude, she was using bad language and my son was copying her example as kids do. And he just, you know, they're good friends, they play all the time, but she was just a terror this whole day. And you know, my son knows that when he acts like that he gets spanking. And that's just the way that it works in our house. And I'm of course never hitting him hard. It's usually he's more afraid of the actual act and than the act itself, the threat of it, which is why it works. And so I spanked my niece and her behavior completely changed and she acted toward me with more respect. She was no longer influencing my son. And then they played nicely for the rest of the day and it was, it was really nice. But when my sister came to pick her up that evening, I told her, you know, your daughter was acting up. And you know, I had this banker. She had never seen her act like this before and as much as this. And so I just went ahead and did It. And she changed her behavior, and she was great. And my sister just flipped out, and she. We have a no spanking policy. And I mean, I knew that. I know that she. They're kind of lenient on their discipline with their children. And there are some times when I think that they could be a little bit rougher because their kids just in public sometimes will just, you know, they'll act out and.

[F]

But the issue was that your child was there with her son, right?

[G]

Exactly.

[D]

She was in my house and she was influencing my son. And I, you know, it was a whole day affair. It wasn't just like a little, you know, thing. So, you know, and I said, well, you know, you might want to think about trying that sometime, because it worked. And she changed her behavior, and she treated me nicely. But the thing that really upset me, what my sister did, was then she said she was yelling at me in front of her daughter, which completely eradicates the discipline that I've given her. And so, of course, she's never going to listen to me again. And that, you know, and now my sister won't even speak to me. And I mean, we speak every day.

[C]

I think there are probably two different topics here. The first one is how she handled it after it all happened. That was obviously wrong. But I tell you what, where I'm coming from, I want to be the only one to lay a hand on my kid. And especially if you knew that was a major topic with me, that. And you broke that trust, and I got to be honest with you, I'd be pretty upset, too.

[F]

But, Bert, if. I think. I mean, I agree with you on that, but I think that had to be a tough position for Lisa to be in. Her child is there. Her niece is there. If. If she didn't discipline the niece, then her child would not understand. Why do I get disciplined for the same thing, but my cousin doesn't get disciplined? And then the child would question the mothers, you know, like, I think that. Lisa, am I correct in assuming that your decision was based on the fact that your child was there?

[D]

Yes, absolutely.

[C]

If your child wasn't there, would you have spanked her?

[D]

I mean, if she had continued to act the way she did, I would have done something. I think the fact that my son was there made her act out even more because she was trying to kind of impress him. But, yeah, I mean, and I didn't know that my sister had a no, flat out, no spanking policy. I knew that they were lenient in their discipline, so I didn't know exactly that she was that against spanking, but apparently it really upset her. And now. Yeah, she won't speak to me.

[C]

Let me take calls here. 404-741-1005 yeah, as a general rule, though, I would say if it was my kid, nobody lays a hand on my kid except me. That's just how I would feel about it. Hey, David, you're on all the hits.

[G]

Q100, a couple things. How old is this kid, the one that she has, the one she spanked?

[E]

Five.

[H]

They're both one.

[G]

You didn't have permission. You shouldn't put your hands on your, on your knees. Even if, even if she is your niece, you shouldn't be putting your hands on. Spanking a kid is acting out in anger by the parent. And as an intelligent person, if you can't come up with another way to discipline a child other than putting your hands on them, then you got some problems of your own.

[C]

I don't agree with that at all.

[G]

Let me finish. By your own admission, you said that if, if the mother, if the child had been there by herself and hadn't been influencing your child, that you more than likely would have spanked the child anyway. And my point is this. I have children and I don't have to spank them now. Now that's the way I parent my children. You may believe something different, but I don't believe you had to put your hands on that child and to get control of that kid. There are other ways to do it. And putting your hands and acting out in violence because the child is acting up. Unless the child was slugging your kid in the face, there's no reason for you to spank that child.

[F]

Well, I mean, in my household, I grew up in a spanking household and I didn't, I maybe got spanked once in the 18 years I lived in my house. So just because your parents spank doesn't mean that they're angry people and doesn't mean that you have to be spanked all the time. I think who spank their kids, those kids act better than the ones who don't.

[G]

Exactly.

[D]

And this is my, in my defense, I have to say I did try other things. I tried to put her in a timeout and she was hurting my child. She was pinching him and they were playing, she was playing really rough. And this is, you know, my son knows that these things are wrong. And if I just let her get away with that, then he would think that it was okay to treat other people like that.

[I]

You have to be more creative. Like, do you have a dog that could, quote, accidentally unquote, bite her? Or like, say, hey, let's go ride bikes, but you really loosen her handlebars.

[C]

You are Dr. Evil.

[I]

Well, I'm just saying, if you think, you know, like, how about this? Like, hey, let's go for a car ride. But you don't totally tighten the car seat and you accelerate, brake. Accelerate, brake.

[C]

Hey, Terry, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[H]

Hey, good morning.

[F]

Good morning.

[H]

I just wanted to say I think if a parent drops a child off at somebody's house, whoever it is, be it a relative or whatever, if there are certain things that they want them to do, it's their responsibility to say, you know, here's my contact information. These are our rules. Don't spank, do. But once they leave, if they trusted that person enough to watch their child, then that's it. I mean, if she felt like that she trusted her to keep her, then she should have trusted her judgment as well. And if she felt like the child needed a spanking because her child was being influenced, I think she had the right to do it.

[F]

And I also think it should be taken into consideration. This is not a total stranger she's leaving her with. This is her sister. Like I'm thinking in my situation, if I had a kid and I left it with my sister Melanie, Melanie is free. I mean, if my sister decides to discipline my child, I trust my sister to know what was best in that situation.

[E]

And from all those years of babysitting, I know that kids will drive you to that point. And I don't care if they're yours, not yours, your sister's, whatever. But when you have, I mean, I can see that if it's something she does in her own, I can see how she made the decision. I don't agree with the decision she did make because I think that, I think she's got to respect her sister's wishes on being a non spanking family. But I think at the same time I understand why she did it once.

[C]

It was established so that it was a non spanking family.

[F]

She didn't know that.

[C]

Lisa, is that true? Lisa? I mean, you knew that.

[E]

You've kind of been back and forth on that a little bit.

[D]

Well, I knew. I didn't know that she was as adamantly a non spanker as she proved to me that afternoon.

[C]

But she's brought it up to you before.

[D]

Well, no, no. I just know that in observing the way that she raises her children, that they can. They let them get away with a whole lot.

[C]

I'm trying to think in my mind if this is if that makes a world of difference or not. I just know that I would never spank somebody else's kids. Doesn't matter if my brother's sisters, relatives or not. I just don't feel like that's my right. But my own, I, I will. I will discipline my child with spanking, but nobody else to put a hand on his ass.

[E]

Okay, so let me ask you this. You and Stacy are out of town on vacation. You're in some wonderful foreign island somewhere where you guys like to go doing your eco poop challenge, okay? And Georganne is watching Hayden. And Hayden is at an age where he's acting up and he's smart mouthing or he's pinching, pinching or he's biting or he's doing, you know, he's, maybe he gets into that horrible phase. You guys are gone for a week. Can George and his grandma give him a spanking? You hadn't ever had to do it yet?

[C]

I never had to think about it. You mean have I ever had to spank him yet?

[E]

No, I mean you've never had to think about somebody else spanking him.

[C]

Well, George Ann to me seems so different. She's the grandmother and it seems, well.

[F]

This is the aunt.

[C]

And I don't know why that feels different because my first reaction would be, yeah, if George Dan wants to give him a smack on the butt, then give him a smack on the butt. But if it was Stacy's brother Brandon, I'd have a problem with that.

[E]

Really?

[C]

Uh huh. I don't know why it feels different, but it does.

[E]

Now what would Stacy say if you replaced that with your mom?

[C]

I don't know. My mom would never, she's just, there's no way she would sit him down and she'd make, she would make him do a three hour psychological session to where he would want to be beat. I'm the same way.

[I]

Oh my God. Woman just hit. I don't know what that ink spot looks like.

[C]

Hey Erin, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[H]

Yes, I was just calling to say it wasn't like she was beating the child.

[D]

She was just, I mean, she just.

[H]

Gave it a little spanking. Right?

[C]

Okay, so what if it's not the sister? What if it's a teacher and it's just a spanking?

[H]

Well, I mean, personally I got paddled when I was in school and I mean, it was only a couple Times. And it wasn't like the teacher beat me.

[C]

So it's okay for the teacher just to spank you?

[H]

I mean, I personally was a child that was raised with spanking. And these days we don't believe in spanking and we wonder why our kids are little holy terrors.

[C]

And don't get me wrong, I do. I agree with disciplining by spanking. I mean, every now and then I agree with that. I just have a problem with somebody else doing it.

[F]

Now when I ask, I have a problem with a teacher spanking a kid.

[C]

You don't?

[F]

No.

[C]

Oh, no.

[E]

No, you don't?

[C]

You don't?

[E]

No. That's where I would draw the line, really.

[F]

I mean, this is the way I grew up. And I don't see a problem with it. I don't see a problem with it. I mean, because the child is being raised. I mean, yeah, no, I don't see a problem with a teacher spanking a kid.

[C]

I will not give somebody else that right or that responsibility to discipline my child like that. No way. You don't know what you're getting with a teacher.

[E]

What about a nanny?

[F]

Oh, a teacher's not putting. A teacher and a kid. A teacher and a kid are not going in a back alley and him beating the crap out of it. The way it happens is a teacher, there are witnesses to the teacher spanking the child. And, and that is the last resort a teacher will use. And if a kid, if my kid is acting up in class, then the kid deserves to be disciplined.

[C]

There is no worse tool a teacher can use and say, I'm going to call your parents. I think that's way worse than taking them and spanking them. You tell me I get to spank my kid at that point. But you can't spank my kid. Don't you. You were never allowed around Hayden.

[F]

He bites me, I'm kicking his ass.

[E]

What about your nanny?

[C]

He could take you. Actually, he doesn't have insurance right now, so can you.

[I]

Can you wait till the end of the month?

[C]

Morning. All the hits. Q100.

[H]

Hey, guys, how you doing? Hey, listen, I have a five and a half year old and my sister has a five and a half year old. And my thoughts of if I entrust her, entrust my son in her care, then whatever discipline she's going to give to her child, she's got to give to my son. There's not two sets of rule. That's my sister, that's my family. I mean, that's someone who I grew up With. She is not going to do anything, anything that I wouldn't do to her daughter or her.

[F]

She's not going to endanger the child. This is family.

[H]

I mean. I mean, now a teacher, Nah, I have a problem. A friend, I probably have a problem. You know what I mean? But with my family or if I'm leaving, if I have enough confidence that I'm going to leave them with a family member, because he goes to my parents for the summers down in Tampa, and I know he's going to act up. And I've been on the phone when he's acting up, and I've been like, beat his butt.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[H]

And I'll be yelling at them, beat his butt. I mean, I don't abuse my child. I really don't really hit him a lot. But, you know, kids can be kids, and when they're away from home, they're gonna push the limits and sure, they're.

[E]

Gonna act out and they're gonna see.

[H]

They're gonna act out.

[F]

That's what they do.

[I]

Let me throw. See, this is just.

[E]

This just came to me when I was babysitting. I wanna just.

[I]

This just came to me. But, you know, Bert, what if the technology existed that probably. You could probably use cell phone technology, maybe talk to friends at Verizon or something to help you out. What if you could develop a collar that Hayden would wear all the time? And so let's say, like, Jen was babysitting Hayden and he was misbehaving, she could call you and go, dude, he's, you know, pinching me. Whatever. He's running all over the place. Then from where you are, you could call a number and actually shock him electronically, and it would have a recording of your voice.

[C]

I just want.

[F]

I want to say humane to have a shock collar than to let somebody give him a pat on the butt.

[C]

Right? And while I wouldn't agree with me being able to shock him, his teacher sure could.

[I]

But that's what. You just give people that. So instead of spanking him, you just give them. Have it only burn a little.

[E]

Jeff is going to be one of those parents at Disney World that has his kids on a leash.

[C]

Jeff is never going to have a kid because I am for sure going to keep this tape and give it to child protective services as soon as they start trying. Hey, Lisa, I hope this helped a little bit. Make you feel any better or worse?

[D]

Oh, I feel better. I just wish my sister would talk to me again.

[F]

Yeah, it's a bummer.

[C]

Yeah, she will.

[D]

She will, yeah.

[G]

All right.

[D]

Well, thanks guys.

[C]

All right, Thanks a lot for calling. Bye now.

[H]

Bye.

[I]

Keep on hitting the bird show.

[A]

Mic check 12 Are we recording? Hi, I'm Michelle Bernstein, an award winning.

[C]

Chef, restaurateur and mom.

[A]

I have a lot on my plate, including my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. That's why I was prescribed Cosentyx. It helps me move better.

[B]

Cosentyx Secukenumab is prescribed for people 2 years of age and older with active psoriatic arthritis. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections. Some were fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweatshirts, chills, muscle aches or cough, had a vaccine or planned to, or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentyx or cosentyx.com Ask.

[A]

Your rheumatologist about Cosentyx. What are you reaching for? If you're a smoker or vaper, you could be reaching for so much more with syn nicotine pouches. When you reach for Zyn, you're reaching for 10 satisfying varieties in two strengths for a smoke free experience that lets you lean in for chances to break free from your routine and a unique nationwide community. Whatever you're reaching for, reach for it with America's number one nicotine pouch brand. Find your Zen Wherever nicotine products are sold near you, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. With savings over $390 this shopping season, VRBO helps you swap gift wrap time for quality time with those you love. From snow on the roof to sand between your toes, we have all the vacation rental options covered. Go to VRBO now and book a last minute week long stay. Save over $390 this holiday season and book your next vacation rental home on VRBO. Average savings $396 select homes only.