The Bert Show

Vault: She's Married But Dating Someone Else?!

Episode Air Date: December 18, 2025
Host: The Bert Show cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more)
Episode Theme: Emotional infidelity and the boundaries of marriage—an in-depth discussion with a married woman who maintains platonic yet emotionally intimate relationships with other men.

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the complexities of modern marriage and emotional infidelity, prompted by a Newsweek article claiming that about 50% of infidelity cases now involve women and exploring the shifting dynamics behind why people look outside their primary relationships. The central focus is a candid live-call interview with “Jay,” a married woman who openly discusses her emotionally intimate relationships with male friends, the role her husband plays, and the public’s reactions to her choices. The episode interweaves listener and cast commentary, revealing diverse opinions on emotional boundaries, fairness, and marital commitment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Infidelity in 2025

• The episode opens with discussion around a Newsweek article arguing that infidelity among women is rising, with emotional affairs increasingly common.

  • Quote: "[Newsweek] now claims that about 50% of infidelity going on is women. Now it's not just a guy thing anymore." — Host (01:40)

• The cast debates if monogamy is “dead,” suggesting emotional needs are sometimes left unmet in modern marriage due to work pressures and changing lifestyles.

  • "Monogamy is just lazy. It's not dead." — Co-host (02:11)
  • "Being non-monogamous is being lazy. Absolutely being lazy." — Co-host (02:13)

• Emotional intimacy outside the marriage, even without physical affairs, is framed as a core issue.

2. Jay’s Story: Married, but Seeking Emotional Fulfillment Outside

Introducing Jay

• Jay, a married woman of four years (together seven), calls in under voice disguiser to speak candidly about having emotionally close male friends.
  • “He was working toward the job that he has now, which is incredibly high pressure and very demanding. And I never get to see him anymore. ... I have a lot of work functions and charity functions ... I met one of these guys at work ... Great companionship. He's just a really special person.” — Jay (03:58–04:46)

Nature of Jay's Relationships

• Jay clarifies her husband is aware of her friendships and that they were openly discussed.

• Her relationships with these men typically center on going to events, movies, and spending time together as she would with a “girlfriend,” although she notes mutual attraction.

  • "He's like a best friend. ... We go to the movies. Maybe once he held my hand." — Jay (04:46–05:56)
  • "There’s an obvious attraction on the guy’s part towards you, though, correct?" — Host (06:00)
  • "I think there's an attraction on both parts, but it's not an attraction that you want to take any further than that." — Jay (06:01)

• Jay insists her relationships remain non-physical; when previous male friends wanted more, she ended things.

  • "The sex is great [with my husband]. ... This is a companionship type thing, and he knows about it, so it’s not even like I’m going behind his back." — Jay (07:47)

Emotional Needs and Boundaries

• Jay claims she would drop everything for her husband, demonstrating his priority, but still seeks companionship during his extended absences due to work.
  • "If my husband says ... I'm absolutely going to be home on Wednesday night ... He comes first, and I love him..." — Jay (07:47)
• The cast and callers challenge her, with one co-host expressing sadness that Jay’s most intimate conversations and companionship aren’t with her husband.
  • “It sounds like, everything’s on the up and up. But to me, it’s just sad ... that these intimate conversations or this time that you're spending is with somebody else and not your husband.” — Co-host (08:16)

3. Cast & Audience Reaction: Justification vs. Marital Vows

• Some co-hosts and callers empathize with Jay’s loneliness, but challenge the appropriateness of her choices.

  • “Anybody will find any excuse whatsoever to steer the, you know, justification for their actions ... you are purposely choosing these guys to go. You’re going on dates with these guys, and it’s totally different than a girlfriend thing.” — Co-host (07:27)

• Questions are raised about why Jay feels the need to hide her identity if her husband is truly on-board.

  • "If her husband knows everything, why is she on the voice disguiser for one?" — Caller (11:02)
  • "Good point." — Co-host (11:09)

• Another caller posits that if the relationship requires external fulfillment, the marriage is fundamentally at risk.

  • “If this woman doesn't think she's going to fall in love with someone else, she's absolutely crazy.” — Caller (11:33)

Double Standards & Personal Admittance

• Jay is asked directly if she would be comfortable with her husband having similar relationships with women.
  • "If your husband was getting the same fulfillment out of other women, but there was nothing physical ... would you be okay with him having the same kind of relationships?" — Host (12:44–12:45)
  • “No. No, I wouldn’t." — Jay (12:58)
• The cast points out the imbalance and inherent unfairness in this attitude.
  • "If you’re going to do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you’re wrong. ... The marriage is going to fail. You can’t ... get something that he can’t have." — Co-host (13:28–13:44)
  • "That’s true. That’s true.” — Jay (13:44)

Reflections on Marital Commitment

• Calls for Jay to revisit her marriage vows are voiced, with some expressing deep sadness at her situation and its possible impact on her husband.
  • “Jay, I just think you need to go back and review those vows y’all exchanged on your wedding day ... because I just don’t think you’re living up to what you made that promise for ... I think that your husband has to be more sad about it than maybe you even realize.” — Co-host (14:39)
• The question of long-term viability is broached; cast is skeptical it could work for 50 years without emotional or physical fallout.
  • "They will not make 50 years this way, Burt. It's impossible." — Co-host (15:07)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On emotional attraction without physical cheating:
  "I think there's an attraction on both parts, but it's not an attraction that you want to ... take any further than that."
  — Jay (06:01)

• On loneliness and longing:
  "It gets incredibly lonely, months at a time ... I would rather he didn’t have a job that was so demanding and he could be home a little bit."
  — Jay (09:02, 13:49)

• On the double standard:
  "No, I wouldn’t [want my husband to do the same]. … It is as it is right now, and I certainly would not want him to do the same thing."
  — Jay (12:58)

• On the nature of marriage:
  "If you’re going to do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you’re wrong. The marriage is going to fail. You can't ... get something that he can't have."
  — Co-host (13:28)

• On emotional intimacy as a threat:
  "I'm not going to threaten my marriage or have more intimate relationships with any other man than my husband. Because you got girlfriends to do that, you know?"
  — Caller (15:23)

Important Timestamps

• 01:40 — Host introduces the Newsweek infidelity article
• 03:30 — Jay, the married caller, is introduced
• 04:55–05:56 — Jay describes her platonic relationships and her husband’s awareness
• 06:20–07:00 — Jay discusses the emotional fulfillment these men provide
• 08:16–09:42 — Cast and Jay debate the sadness and implications of her situation
• 12:44–13:44 — Jay admits she wouldn't accept the same situation from her husband
• 14:39–15:07 — Hosts and callers express concerns for Jay’s marriage longevity

Tone and Style

The episode balances humor, compassion, and frankness—the cast offers levity while taking Jay’s story seriously, ultimately highlighting the emotional complexities, potential harm, and societal judgments surrounding emotional affairs. The interplay between live caller confessions and candid commentary creates a dynamic and thought-provoking atmosphere.

Summary Takeaway

This episode of The Bert Show offers an unvarnished look at emotional needs and boundaries within marriage, questioning whether emotional affairs are simply "just friends" or something more—and whether both partners can fairly have such relationships. Ultimately, the cast and audience prompt listeners to reflect on their own values, expectations, and the ever-evolving landscape of love and partnership.