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Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first.
Jay (Caller)
There, the last one.
Commercial Announcer
Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.
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Host (Burch Show)
You're on the Birch Show. The COVID of Newsweek magazine says the new infidelity. From office affairs to Internet hookups, more wives are cheating too. And it now claims that about 50% of infidelity going on is women. Now it's not just a guy thing anymore.
Co-host / Caller
It's so sad. The whole infidelity thing is so sad. It's like monogamy's dead.
Co-host / Commentator
And I contend like that. I continue to contend that it's just laziness and selfishness.
Monogamy is just lazy. It's not dead.
No, no, no.
It's just sleeping 18 hours.
No, being non monogamous is being lazy. Absolutely being lazy.
Host (Burch Show)
Yeah, I think it probably does come down to that eventually. You know, this Newsweek article is really great though. I mean, it really breaks down. People think the reasons are everybody's kind of screwing around on each other. And it's a, it's an incredible article. And there's one section in it that focuses on women that are going outside of their marriages, but not for anything physical. So they've got these guy friends that are sending them flowers or that are obviously attracted to them and they are filling some Kind of emotional need for the woman that their husband hasn't been able to fill. And they don't really consider it cheating.
Martha Stewart (Sponsor Voice)
They just.
Co-host / Commentator
Course not, because they're benefiting from it. Of course it's not cheating because they're getting the flowers and they're getting the satisfaction. But, you know, if the roles were reversed and a woman was sending their husband's flowers, they would be livid.
Host (Burch Show)
Sure. All right, Jeff, we're gonna need the voice disguiser, because Jay here is one of the women that Newsweek magazine talks about. This is a woman that has. Is married, but has a lot of quote, unquote friends that just make her feel really great.
Co-host / Commentator
Guy friends.
Host (Burch Show)
Guy friends that her husband doesn't fulfill anymore. Just these needs that the husband's not fulfilling. Good morning, Jay.
Jay (Caller)
Hello.
Momentous Sponsor / Beauty Podcast Host
Hi.
Host (Burch Show)
How are you?
Jay (Caller)
I'm just fine, thank you.
Host (Burch Show)
How long have you been married?
Caller / Commentator
For?
Jay (Caller)
Four years.
Host (Burch Show)
Only four years?
Caller / Commentator
Yes.
Host (Burch Show)
And how long were you guys dating before you got married?
Jay (Caller)
Oh, for about two and a half, three years.
Host (Burch Show)
Okay, so let's say seven and a half. Seven. Seven and a half years overall. And when you first started dating your current husband, was he the kind of guy that fulfilled all your needs, made you feel great about yourself physically, told you how beautiful you were?
Jay (Caller)
Absolutely. And fundamentally, he still does, but at the time, he was working toward the job that he has now, which is incredibly high pressure and very demanding. And I never get to see him anymore. And we kind of both felt it wasn't really fair for me to and be alone. And I have a lot of work functions and charity functions and things that I have to do that, you know, generally somebody should be there with me. And so I kind of, you know, met one of these guys at work, and we had been seeing each other for about a year. He's wonderful. He's like a best friend. Great companionship. He's just a really special person.
Co-host / Commentator
Now, Jay, you mentioned just a minute ago that you and your husband both felt it was unfair for you to sit alone. Like, does your husband know of what you're doing outside the marriage?
Jay (Caller)
Yes, he does.
Co-host / Caller
So he knows about this guy and knows how much time you spend with him?
Jay (Caller)
Well, actually, I'm not seeing, or whatever you want to call it, that particular gentleman anymore. We saw each other for about a year, but then, just as some of your listeners were saying, he kind of leaned toward wanting to get physical. And I told him from the beginning, I'm married. He knows I'm married, and it was never going to come to that. I love My husband. And that was the end of it. So because he wanted more out of the relationship, we just sort of cut it off. And I've been seeing someone else for, I guess, about three and a half, four months now. And it's the same type of thing. He comes to events with me. We go to the movies. Maybe he. He would, you know, I don't know. I think maybe once he held my hand. But, you know, it's sort of like girlfriends. But when you're in certain social situations, you really need to have a guy there.
Host (Burch Show)
But now there's an obvious attraction on the guy's part towards you, though, correct?
Jay (Caller)
Well, I think there's an attraction on both parts, but it's not an attraction that you want to, you know, take any further than that. You know, you're attracted to your. I'm attracted to my female friends, too, but, you know, there's something that makes you like each other, but it doesn't mean that it has to go any further than that.
Host (Burch Show)
So what is he giving you besides time? What is he giving you that your husband is not? What is he saying that your husband is not?
Jay (Caller)
Well, it's kind of like, what is he saying? And doing that at this particular time, my husband doesn't have time to do because he's not with me. You know, he gives me a lot of attention. He makes me feel special. He flatters me. But fundamentally, it's still the companionship. You know, I need to attend these events, and I want to go out and have a good time. I need somebody to be with.
Co-host / Commentator
Jay, you keep talking about the events, and I understand that, and you say in certain social situations, blah, blah, blah. But you just mentioned you went to the movies with this guy. That's not a certain social situation which you have to take a guy.
Jay (Caller)
Well, you know, I guess in that situation, I could have picked a girlfriend. But it seems as though most of my girlfriends have husbands who their jobs aren't as demanding and don't take them away from their wives as much. So it was just a fun thing. We went to the movies. You've gone to the movies with a guy friend. No biggie. You know, it's not like there's no sex. There's no romance. There's friendship and kindness, and that's about it.
Host (Burch Show)
Melissa's shaking her head.
Co-host / Commentator
I'm just shaking my head because anybody will find any excuse whatsoever to steer the, you know, justification for their actions. Because, yes, your girlfriends may have husbands who don't work as much, but, I mean, most Married women still have time to go to the movies together.
Momentous Sponsor / Beauty Podcast Host
And.
Co-host / Commentator
And I just think that you were purposely choosing these guys to go. You're going on dates with these guys, and it's totally different than a girlfriend thing.
Jay (Caller)
Well, you know what, though? The one thing that's really different is if my husband says, you know what? I'm absolutely going to be home on Wednesday night, and, you know, like, what are you doing? I drop everything. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. A charity event, something with this guy. You know, one of these. He comes first, and I love him, and I don't have sex with anybody else but him. And the sex is great. It's just. This is a companionship type thing, and he knows about it, so it's not even like I'm going behind his back.
Co-host / Caller
Doesn't it feel a little bit sad to you? Like, I'm listening to your story and it sounds like, you know what, everything's on the up and up. But to me, it's just sad. It's just sad that, like, these intimate conversations or this time that you're spending is with somebody else and not your husband. Just to me, it's like, it's gotta make you sad somewhere. You're just, like, lonely, and, I don't.
Host (Burch Show)
Know, to me that you just can't be totally fulfilled by one man.
Co-host / Caller
To me, it's just sad that she's got this intimate relationship going on with another man that's not her husband. It just makes me sad to listen to.
Jay (Caller)
Well, you know what?
Co-host / Commentator
Stuff like this doesn't happen in Hobbyville. And when it happens in the. It's crushing what happens outside in the black and white world. It's just sad.
Caller / Commentator
There are times.
Jay (Caller)
I agree with you. You know, for me, it's a wishful thing. I wish it could be another way. I really do. But I kind of look at it like, other than anybody's husband. You have, you know, in huge quotes, intimate relationships with other people. You know, you guys all work together and then you go home. Your relationship with the people you work together is intimate. Intimate in its own way. And so these are different parts. You know, maybe it would be great if you could work with your husband or be with you. You know, I would rather. Trust me, I would rather he didn't have a job that was so demanding and he could be home a little bit. You know? I mean, he's gone for weeks, sometimes months at a time.
Host (Burch Show)
Hey, Jay, I want to put you on hold for a second. I can't put Callers on with you because then everybody will be on the voice disguiser and it just sounds weird. So I'm gonna put you on hold, take a couple calls and come back. All right?
Jay (Caller)
Okay, thank you.
Momentous Sponsor / Beauty Podcast Host
Uh huh.
Co-host / Commentator
She's so polite and appreciative.
Host (Burch Show)
Yeah, well you know what? I wonder if there aren't some guys listening. Go. Wow, I wish I had that deal. I wish I didn't have to do anything in my relationship except have sex with my wife. That if there was another guy out there, that was Jen, that was giving her everything emotionally that she needed and I was the guy that, that, that she called when problems were occurring and she could leave that with somebody else and I would just come home. So spend time with the kids and have sex with my wife. And that was my only role. I wonder if there aren't guys listening going, that'd be great, then why be married?
Co-host / Commentator
Why be married? I agree that one person shouldn't, should have to fulfill every single aspect of your life. But when you purposely go out with only guys, and I mean like she's date, she is dating, she's leading guys on, she's dating them and it's, it's wrong. I mean, I don't know, it's just.
Host (Burch Show)
Like any other relationship. There's a breakup at the end of the year and then she moves on to the next guy even though she's married to somebody else.
Co-host / Commentator
And but the thing is, I do have to defend Jay on as her husband knows every action she takes. I mean, I can't, I can't falter for that. He knows.
Co-host / Caller
Does he really knows?
Co-host / Commentator
Based on what Jay said, he knows.
Host (Burch Show)
Hey Ray, Go ahead.
Caller / Commentator
I don't think, you know, there's a couple things. If her husband knows everything, why is she on the voice disguiser for one.
Co-host / Commentator
That's a good point.
Host (Burch Show)
Good boy.
Caller / Commentator
Two things is she says she wants, she would love for her relationship to be different. Everyone has power to make the relationship different. It's whether she chooses to make it different or not. Her and her husband both, if their relationship is more important than their careers, then they'll make that a priority. And the third point is if this woman doesn't think she's going to fall in love with someone else, she's absolutely crazy.
Host (Burch Show)
Yeah, that's what some of these women were saying in Newsweek also that this whole relationship started the same way Jay's did with another guy where it was simply platonic. And like I said, he'd send her flowers or when she walked in the door, he would tell her how beautiful she looked, and that's intoxicating. She felt special again, and it stayed platonic for a while, and then she fell in love and didn't realize it until it was too late. Blah, blah, blah.
Co-host / Commentator
Come on.
Host (Burch Show)
Good morning. All the hits. Q100.
Caller / Commentator
Hey, y'.
Momentous Sponsor / Beauty Podcast Host
All.
Caller / Commentator
Fundamentally, she's full of crap. She seems to like that word. Well, I got news for you. I've been married going on almost 33 years, and there is no way I would either do this to my husband. Let's turn it around. How would she like it the other way around? I got news for you. The woman won't be married another five more years. And if her life's not unimportant to her, she needs to go ahead and get the hell on.
Co-host / Commentator
And I love. And the thing is, I guarantee when. When we get J back on the Voice of Skies, she wouldn't have a problem with her husband doing like. No, of course. When somebody is defending their position and they're benefiting from the situation, theoretically, if you gave him any other scenario. Oh, I'd be fine with no problem.
Host (Burch Show)
No problem.
Co-host / Commentator
Crap.
Host (Burch Show)
Can we get the voice disguiser back on there, Jeff?
Jay (Caller)
All right, Here you go.
Host (Burch Show)
A.J.
Jay (Caller)
Yeah.
Host (Burch Show)
Hey, let's ask you the same question. If your husband was getting the same fulfillment out of other women, but there was nothing physical going on, would you be okay with him having the same kind of relationships outside of your marriage that you're having?
Jay (Caller)
No. No, I wouldn't. And as I said, I wish this wasn't the case. And that caller might be right. I mean, eventually it might lead to divorce or whatever. I mean, I guess I didn't count on when we got married that this was gonna happen, you know, that he was gonna be gone for so long. And, you know, it's definitely a problem. It is as it is right now, and I certainly would not want him to do the same thing.
Co-host / Commentator
And that right there is a sin against your marriage. If you're gonna do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you're wrong. I mean, the marriage is gonna fail. You can't. It's not. It can't be so imbalanced like that. You can't get something that he can't have.
Jay (Caller)
Well, that's true. That's true.
Co-host / Commentator
I mean, that's not what a marriage is about.
Jay (Caller)
I know, I know. But it gets incredibly lonely, months at a time. And like I said, he even knows the guys. He knows them. You know, he's here sometimes when they're here and, you know, on his way out or whatever. But, you know, you're absolutely right. It's a problem. It can be a problem, the fact.
Co-host / Commentator
That you even have a guy there when you have time to spend with your husband. And you just said that one of those guys is at the house while your husband is there. You're completely wrong.
Jay (Caller)
On his way out.
Martha Stewart (Sponsor Voice)
On his way out.
Co-host / Commentator
Oh, that's better. Hi, honey. I'm gonna have this guy in the living room while I'm kissing you at the door.
Beauty Podcast Host
You're wrong.
Co-host / Commentator
Can you imagine Ryan coming home from, like, being on the road or something? The bus pulls up and drops him off, and as he's walking in, because he's been working so hard, one of your guy friends is leaving.
Momentous Sponsor / Beauty Podcast Host
Hey, see you later.
Co-host / Commentator
Hey, see you, Ryan.
Momentous Sponsor / Beauty Podcast Host
Bye. Bye.
Co-host / Caller
Yeah. No, not cool. I just. Jay, I just think you need to go back and review those vows y' all exchanged on your wedding day, because I just don't think you're living up to what you made that promise for. And I just think it's sad. I think that your husband has to be more sad about it than maybe you even realize.
Host (Burch Show)
If the relationship stayed together for 50 years like this, though, would you say she's doing the right thing still?
Co-host / Caller
No.
Jay (Caller)
I've been together for 50 years like this. It's very difficult. It really is. I'll give you that.
Co-host / Commentator
They will not make 50 years this way, Burt. It's impossible.
Host (Burch Show)
But nothing physical ever happens with these guys. And as soon as it does, you cancel it out.
Jay (Caller)
Absolutely nothing has ever happened. And even the prospect of it ends the friendship.
Co-host / Caller
Yeah, go get some girlfriends, dude. My husband's gone for weeks and months at a time, too. And I got great girlfriends, and that's who I spend time with. You know? I'm not going to threaten my marriage or have more intimate relationships with any other man than my husband. Because you got girlfriends to do that, you know? Bottled wine girlfriend. That's therapy, my friend.
Host (Burch Show)
Hey, Jay, I want to tell you, as you're talking and Jen's talking to you, she's almost crying about it.
Co-host / Caller
I know. It's just so sad.
Co-host / Commentator
Some of those massages, the crash, give you a borderline too intimate. When he's doing your shoulders, and next thing you know, he's cupping your boobs.
Co-host / Caller
Oh, come on.
Co-host / Commentator
I don't know how appropriate that is.
Host (Burch Show)
Hey, J. We're going to let you go, but it's Crash. You're on the Burch show.
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Episode Air Date: December 18, 2025
Host: The Bert Show cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more)
Episode Theme: Emotional infidelity and the boundaries of marriage—an in-depth discussion with a married woman who maintains platonic yet emotionally intimate relationships with other men.
This episode dives into the complexities of modern marriage and emotional infidelity, prompted by a Newsweek article claiming that about 50% of infidelity cases now involve women and exploring the shifting dynamics behind why people look outside their primary relationships. The central focus is a candid live-call interview with “Jay,” a married woman who openly discusses her emotionally intimate relationships with male friends, the role her husband plays, and the public’s reactions to her choices. The episode interweaves listener and cast commentary, revealing diverse opinions on emotional boundaries, fairness, and marital commitment.
The episode opens with discussion around a Newsweek article arguing that infidelity among women is rising, with emotional affairs increasingly common.
The cast debates if monogamy is “dead,” suggesting emotional needs are sometimes left unmet in modern marriage due to work pressures and changing lifestyles.
Emotional intimacy outside the marriage, even without physical affairs, is framed as a core issue.
Jay clarifies her husband is aware of her friendships and that they were openly discussed.
Her relationships with these men typically center on going to events, movies, and spending time together as she would with a “girlfriend,” although she notes mutual attraction.
Jay insists her relationships remain non-physical; when previous male friends wanted more, she ended things.
Some co-hosts and callers empathize with Jay’s loneliness, but challenge the appropriateness of her choices.
Questions are raised about why Jay feels the need to hide her identity if her husband is truly on-board.
Another caller posits that if the relationship requires external fulfillment, the marriage is fundamentally at risk.
On emotional attraction without physical cheating:
"I think there's an attraction on both parts, but it's not an attraction that you want to ... take any further than that."
— Jay (06:01)
On loneliness and longing:
"It gets incredibly lonely, months at a time ... I would rather he didn’t have a job that was so demanding and he could be home a little bit."
— Jay (09:02, 13:49)
On the double standard:
"No, I wouldn’t [want my husband to do the same]. … It is as it is right now, and I certainly would not want him to do the same thing."
— Jay (12:58)
On the nature of marriage:
"If you’re going to do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you’re wrong. The marriage is going to fail. You can't ... get something that he can't have."
— Co-host (13:28)
On emotional intimacy as a threat:
"I'm not going to threaten my marriage or have more intimate relationships with any other man than my husband. Because you got girlfriends to do that, you know?"
— Caller (15:23)
The episode balances humor, compassion, and frankness—the cast offers levity while taking Jay’s story seriously, ultimately highlighting the emotional complexities, potential harm, and societal judgments surrounding emotional affairs. The interplay between live caller confessions and candid commentary creates a dynamic and thought-provoking atmosphere.
This episode of The Bert Show offers an unvarnished look at emotional needs and boundaries within marriage, questioning whether emotional affairs are simply "just friends" or something more—and whether both partners can fairly have such relationships. Ultimately, the cast and audience prompt listeners to reflect on their own values, expectations, and the ever-evolving landscape of love and partnership.