← The Bert Show
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- [00:00]
A
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- [01:02]
B
Melissa Carter has a reunion coming up. Milestone reunion coming up.
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C
Yes, it's my 20th high school reunion and it's one of those that everybody thinks, oh, that is so far away. I'll be old when that happens. And sure enough, here it is. And I can't believe that it's already been 20 years. But it was last year I was class president. So I knew last year going into the fall that it was about time to start planning the reunion because that's one of the jobs of the class president is to do that. And so I started kind of getting in touch with some of the other class officers and some of the other people trying to see if anybody in my hometown of Columbia, Tennessee had started the process yet or if I was starting the process. So that kind of thing. Then I got really nervous about it because I actually wrote a blog last fall about the fact that being gay is there's always coming out somewhere in your life. I've been out on the radio for 13 years. I'm, you know, like the, you know, people tease me about being the outest lesbian in Atlanta and here I am. But the idea of my 20th high school reunion was really nerve wracking because I thought, you know what, I'm not out to these people. I actually came to Atlanta when I graduated college so that I could be out. So I didn't, you know, one of the reasons I left Tennessee was because I'm gay. So I thought, well, okay, you know what in my 10 year, I wasn't dating anybody. So when I went back, I didn't say anything, didn't make a big deal about it. So I, some other people had planned it, so I just kind of was an attendant and I went and had a good time, had a blast. But I never really, you know, everybody at that point, it's your ten year, they're not. A lot of people aren't married. People haven't really started their families yet, so it's not really a big deal. But I thought it wasn't like they had a chance to ask you too many questions. Yeah. Because they thought, well, are you dating anybody? And I say no. And it was authentic. And they're like, oh, okay, you know, da, da, da, how's Atlanta? So, but this time I am dating somebody. And I always said, you know what, I want to be authentic and I want to, you know, keep my character intact. And I'm not going to go back like some scared 18 year old like I had been before. And I'm going to go and I'm going to be out and I'm going to bring my girlfriend and we're going to be at this reunion. But how is that going to be received? So I had written this again, this blog last fall and talking about this and then I got in touch with our vice president of the class and his name is Garland. And he contacted me back and he was like, you know, hey, it's good to. I can't believe it's been 20 years. Da, da da. And then he wrote in there. Oh, and by the way, I read your blog and I had already published that blog. So I thought, okay, here we go. So I wrote him an email. Did you get nervous? I got very nervous. You went back to being 18 again, back to being 14 again, to where you just want to in our lives. It doesn't matter how old you are, you just want to be accepted as an adult. You just want to be accepted. Bert is losing his voice because sometimes he's out there, he could go home early. But you know what, you got to stay out.
- [03:51]
D
He just wants to be accepted.
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C
He just wants to be accepted.
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D
No, I'm guessing the fellow named Garland has dealt with some taunting in his life.
- [03:56]
C
No, Garland was the Denzel Washington of our class and still is. So I mean, he was like the hot. He's Mr. Mcatie. Okay, so that's another thing. A lot of times when you're back, when you resort to high school mentality, you know, here are popular, good looking People, those are usually the ones stereotypically that are the bullies of the school. So I thought, well, Garland's a good indicator, you know, a handsome African American man, straight man, who. How was he going to respond to me being gay back in the day?
- [04:24]
B
Was he that bully guy or was he a pretty cool dude?
- [04:26]
C
No, he was a cool dude back in the day. I totally. He was like Mr. Politician Dude. So he was very, you know, he was able to be friends with all different groups of people. But I was a huge fan of his and I, you know, his opinion meant a lot to me. So it was last fall, he said, you know what? I read your blog. Okay, here we go. So I wrote him an email back and I said, okay, this is my test. So I thought, well, let me go ahead and say it. So I said, you know what? I am not sure if they are going to let my kind into the reunion. You know, made a joke, oh, you should gonna let my kind in. Because you know what, now that I'm out on the radio, I'm sure plenty of people already know and that kind of thing. So. And then I hit send and I thought, this is it. So that was the first time I actually acknowledged my sexuality to one of my classmates. And so I was waiting on his reply.
- [05:13]
B
How long did it take for him to reply? Because it must have felt like twice as long as whatever it was.
- [05:17]
C
I think I left the computer and then it was a couple hours later I came back and checked and he had responded.
- [05:21]
B
Was it always sort of on your mind, though?
- [05:23]
C
Like, absolutely. And I even told Katie, like, you know what he's gonna write back. We'll see what then it'll be a good indicator on whether I'll be welcome back to the reunion or not. And it's not really a case of which I would go back to the reunion, because I would certainly go. But it's, you know, when you're gay or anybody, I mean, it doesn't have to be gay, but anybody who feels out of place somewhere, you kind of want to kind of navigate the situation, make sure everything's going to be okay. So he responded and his reply was. And I have it in front of me, it said, if anything, you need to have a parade announcing your return. And if they say anything, I got your back.
- [05:55]
D
Oh, that's awesome.
- [05:57]
C
So I know. So I thought that. And it even goes further than that. So I was very relieved when I got that email and actually wrote another blog bragging about him. Wrote one just about him. And so I got another email back from him talking about this and this is what he said. He said, there have been few times in my life in which I have shed tears outside of a birth or death, but today was one. I read the contents of your recent blog and was taken aback when I was the subject. I did not know that I was helping you find inner peace in your life's journey, but I'm glad that I made a positive impact on you. Wow. So still brings tears to my eyes because it is. It's just one of those things, like, at least I know there'll be one friend at the reunion in September.
- [06:38]
D
Well, he's just trying to hook up with you.
- [06:40]
C
Well, that's true, because, you know, lesbians are hot. I know. But no, he authentically, that really meant a lot to me. And then it just started trickling down. There's another guy named Scott. Who? Scott Rooker was a guy in school who I knew, kind of knew, but now he's like big military dude, like big badass military dude stationed out west. And so he read my blog and so he responded to me and he said, here's what I think about you and the reunion. And I thought, you know, here's Scott, conservative, don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, exactly. And he said, go to the reunion and have fun. Be yourself and don't let anyone stand in your way or get you down. If people don't like, like it, tell them to F off. You know who you are and you have nothing to prove to anyone there. He said, I'll be there. I'll see you there. So I got Garland on one side, my Mr. I Got Denzel Washington on one side, and then I got Mr. Military Badass on the other side. So I'm going to the reunion. I'm going to be fine.
- [07:32]
B
Yeah, you are.
- [07:33]
C
Yeah, but I think. But I've held onto these emails and then slowly other people have, you know, started emailing and, you know, and just not really saying anything about my sexuality, but at least just reaching out and saying, hey, I can't wait for you to come. I can't wait to see you at the reunion. And so even at your 20 year high school reunion, even as comfortable as I am with who I am, when you go back to your high school or your high school, you know, feelings or any insecurities you had, it's weird how it is still so, like, I do feel like I'm 16 or 18 or 14 or, you know, the tactics of hiding and lying come back into place. Where I can easily do it and I could easily dodge this and I could easily go back and say, oh, I was focused on my career and I never got married or make up some. You know, but I decided not to do that, to be honest about this.
- [08:20]
D
That's awesome.
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B
So hard to live authentically like that, isn't it?
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C
Yeah, well, I think that, I mean.
- [08:25]
B
The easy way to do it is like you say, yeah, I don't have to deal with it, create some character, but you're, You're. You're nailing it head on.
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C
Well, and I also think that everybody is trying to be. Be more than they are, and that's a good thing in some ways and a bad thing in others. Like, if I was going to try to be what I thought was more than I am, which is, oh, I'm successful and. Yeah. And relationships, I'm fine. And I'm straight. I'm a straight white American girl from Columbia, Tennessee, coming back and, you know, but I think everybody has something in. In their minds or in their hearts that they're hiding and that they don't want anybody to see because they're afraid it'll make them uncool, it'll make them dorky or awkward, and we all are in some way. And I think that's where the real high school mentality comes in, is where you want to hide that awkwardness when you find for a lot of people, you. I mean, at least for me, I find the awkwardness more charming than you trying to, you know, put on that everything's perfect. You know, it's the mantra of the.
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B
Show that you never. People never evolve from the ninth grade.
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C
Yeah.
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B
I mean, you're getting older, but you still have all those feelings and clicks and wanting to be accepted by everybody else.
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C
Right. Worry about what you wear and worry about who you hang out with and who's talking about you and. Yeah, exactly. And it's just. It just never changes.
- [09:35]
B
Derek, you're on Q100. Good morning.
- [09:39]
C
Thought you were.
- [09:40]
B
Maybe you're not. Derek, are you there?
- [09:42]
E
Yeah. Can you hear me?
- [09:43]
C
Hey, Derek.
- [09:45]
E
Hey, Melissa. You're giving me a lot of hope right now. Honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I was president of my senior class, and I am not out.
- [09:57]
A
And.
- [10:00]
E
My reunion is in October, and I really don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm just happy to hear your story because you gave me a little bit more strength today.
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D
Well, you can borrow Garland and this military guy to be trash.
- [10:11]
C
Garland Scott. Yeah. Now I think I also am aware when I go there that there'll be resistance and there'll be stares and there'll be people who won't be so nice. But I think for me, just, you know, not being alone, and even if I was alone, I'd still go. But it's nice to know that I won't be. That there'll be people there that at least I can talk to, because a lot of times at the reunion, you just want to be. When you walk in a room at a reunion and you may not be still friends with people or know people or recognize people, then you at least want to have a little group of friends that you can, you know, spend the night with.
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D
Do you really think somebody might say something to you?
- [10:46]
C
Maybe. I mean, it's.
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D
What would they say?
- [10:50]
C
Something unintentional and more than likely people. If they really didn't like me anymore, then they would not talk to me at all. They would avoid the conversation.
- [10:58]
D
Look, would people come up and try to save you or tell you what the Bible says? Or would they be rude?
- [11:03]
C
I'm prepared for anything sometimes.
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B
Are these built up in your head more than the reality of it, or do you have to prepare for the worst?
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C
When I was in high school, there was a rumor I slipped. You know, in hindsight, I slipped. And the person I was with and I kind of. There were people that kind of caught on, and I literally put my tray down in the cafeteria, and the entire table got up and left. So there are people that will do that. And so.
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D
But I mean, 20 years. That was 20 years ago.
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C
That was 20 years ago. But some people, if they stayed in Columbia, Columbia, Tennessee is a small town. And if they stayed in Columbia this whole time, that's the difference is the Columbia people. Now, Garland's one of the Columbia people. But, I mean, you know. But Scott's not, you know, Scott, you know, who. You know, a military dude who is still conservative in his values, but he went out west and he's just seen the world a little more, so he doesn't care.
- [11:55]
D
Right.
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C
But people in Columbia, maybe. I mean, I love my hometown, and I love being there, but I'm prepared for it. And just to answer his. I think the reason I'm going and being who I am is for me and not for anybody else. And that's the difference in life is when you stop thinking about what other people are thinking and what you want to be and what you want to be able to say about your life when it's over, then that's what's most important. Not because somebody in Columbia is going to say something rude to me because I've heard it all before.
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D
You know what's going to happen? Because I've seen some John Cusack movies.
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C
Yeah.
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D
Some of those people from the table that got up when you were in high school are going to come up to you at the reunion and they're going to sit with you and they're going to make it right and they're going to be sad and then you're going to fall in love and then you're going to hold a boomboom.
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C
Wait, she's already in love. How does that factor in?
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B
She's going to hold a boombok over her head.
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D
You're going to have a wedding. You're going to have a wedding in Columbia.
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C
Oh, wow.
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D
Yeah, that's what's going to happen. And everybody from your high school is.
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C
Going to show up frozen over.
- [12:59]
D
Yeah. Melissa's gay. Welcome to Columbia Today. Then everybody. And then John Cusack. And you will be at the beginning of the Columbia pride parade.
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B
Hey, the bird show.