The Bert Show – Vault: She's Worried About What Her Teen Is Doing

Date: November 17, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Guests & Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and listeners
Episode Theme: How should parents respond when they discover their teen is sexually active? A mother seeks advice and perspective from the hosts and listeners about her daughter’s relationship choices.

Overview

This episode centers around Lisa, a mother navigating her high school senior daughter's involvement in a sexual relationship. Lisa's refreshingly open stance—prioritizing honesty and safety over strict prohibition—sparks a lively and candid discussion among the show's cast and the call-in audience. The episode tackles issues of parental boundaries, trust, open communication about sexuality, and the emotional challenges of adolescent relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lisa’s Situation and Parenting Approach

(01:35–04:40)

• Lisa calls in to discuss learning her high school senior daughter is sexually active with her boyfriend.
• While she’d prefer her daughter not have sex at this age, Lisa accepts its likelihood and prioritizes safety and transparency.
  • “If you don't think your kids are doing things, you're crazy.” – Lisa (03:04)
• Lisa describes monitoring her children's online activity, having ongoing conversations since sex education in 5th grade, and discussing contraception.

2. Openness, Trust, and Parental Involvement

(04:40–06:58)

• Lisa has built an honest relationship with her children, discussing relationships and sexual health openly.
• She shares stories illustrating her daughter’s attempts to sneak out, but ultimately believes honesty is more effective than harsh restrictions.
  • “The tighter the strings are on the child, the more promiscuous they are.” – Lisa (07:57)

3. Callers Share Their Experiences

(07:01–10:22)

• Melissa (20-year-old caller): Her mother’s open approach led her to make responsible choices about sex, limited her partners, and fostered maturity.
  • “If you keep it very open, everything will be okay and she won't become a slut.” – Melissa (07:48)
• 24-year-old woman: Echoes that parental openness prevented her from "going wild" at college, contrasting with peers who had stricter parents.
  • “They lived really sheltered lives. I had some friends that went absolutely nuts in college…” – Caller (09:03)
• Host and callers emphasize the importance of guiding rather than policing, with the view that mistakes are best handled under parental roof.

4. Questioning Motivations & Relationship Dynamics

(05:59–06:57)

• A caller questions whether the daughter is using sex to try to keep her ex-boyfriend, suggesting a potential emotional dynamic.
• Lisa asserts her daughter is in control of her choices and likely ended the relationship herself.

5. Step-parent Perspective & Boundaries

(10:15–11:58)

• Larry (step-parent): Advocates for inviting teens’ partners into the family environment and discussing expectations. He also stresses that expressing disappointment is healthy and honest.
  • “It’s okay for our kids to know that we’re disappointed in some of the things they choose to do…” – Larry (11:51)

6. Emotional Complexity of Teen Relationships

(11:59–12:33)

• Caller points out teenage sex after a breakup might be driven by emotional difficulty letting go, not just immaturity or irresponsibility.
  • “She’s learning the lesson that even when couples break up…you may still be physically active because you just can’t quite let it go yet.” – Caller (12:01)

7. Consensus Among Callers

(12:33–13:12)

• Callers largely affirm Lisa’s approach, suggesting honesty and communication prepare teens better for adult life than secrecy or authoritarian tactics.
• The host humorously notes the unusual consensus and commends Lisa for her parenting.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lisa, on realism in parenting:
  “If you don't think your kids are doing things, you're crazy.” (03:04)

• Melissa (20, caller):
  “My parents always gave me a lot of freedom and I've been very responsible...if you keep it very open, everything will be okay and she won't become a slut.” (07:11, 07:48)

• Lisa, on parental control:
  “The tighter the strings are on the child, the more promiscuous they are.” (07:57)

• 24-year-old caller, on consequences of strictness:
  “I had some friends that went absolutely nuts in college…” (09:03)

• Larry (step-parent caller), on parental honesty:
  “I think it’s okay for our kids to know that we’re disappointed in some of the things that they choose to do, even though they make those decisions.” (11:51)

• Practical perspective on breakups:
  “She’s learning…even as adults…you may still be physically active because you just can’t quite let it go yet.” (12:01)

Important Segments with Timestamps

• Lisa introduces her problem and her approach: [01:35–04:40]
• How teens sneak around & parental monitoring: [03:18–04:00]
• Caller questions about motivation for break-up sex: [05:59–06:57]
• Callers Melissa and 24-year-old on open parenting: [07:01–10:22]
• Larry (step-parent) on involving teens’ partners: [10:15–11:58]
• Emotional aftermath of breakups/sex: [11:59–12:33]
• Episode wrap-up & consensus: [12:33–13:12]

Takeaways

• Open, honest communication reduces secrecy and unhealthy rebellion, and may foster responsible sexual behavior in teens.
• Most callers and hosts reject shaming, instead advocating for guidance and support—parents should be approachable, realistic, and honest about their own feelings.
• Parental disappointment can and should be expressed, but without shaming; understanding the emotional context of teen relationships is key.
• There is no universal “right way,” but consensus suggests dialogue trumps prohibition for preparing teens for adulthood.

For more advice, real talk, and listener stories, tune in daily to The Bert Show.