The Bert Show – Episode: Vault: Smear Campaigns

Date: December 2, 2025
Main Cast: Bert Weiss, Jeff Dollar, Jen Hobby, Melissa Carter
Theme:
A hilarious and insightful exploration of political smear campaigns—why they persist despite public distaste, how they influence voter perceptions, and a light-hearted group experiment where the cast creates smear ads targeting each other.

Episode Overview

The Bert Show crew dives into the world of political smear campaigns, questioning their effectiveness, impact on voters, and the weird traditions that surround voting in American families. The highlight: the cast's own self-created, tongue-in-cheek smear ads, lampooning each other in typical radio morning show style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Are Smear Campaigns So Persistent?

Starts at 01:02

• Effectiveness of Smears:

  • Jeff Dollar wonders aloud if smear campaigns work, since they appear in every election:

    "If they weren't productive, then the candidates wouldn't just bash each other the way they do, right?" [01:02]

  • Burt Weiss affirms, noting that despite widespread complaints, the cycle always repeats:

    "People must respond to that because every election, somebody smearing, mudslinging, everybody complains about it...then the next election, everybody smears each other. People complain." [01:15]

  • Jen Hobby jokes about obscure smears, lampooning campaign fixations:

    "All I got out of it is Mark Taylor's really jealous of Sonny Purdue's lamb." [01:33]

• Seed of Doubt:

  • Melissa Carter appeals to the underlying psychology:

    "But it definitely plants that seed of doubt..." [01:49]
    "It's definitely...wait a minute. Is he getting rich off of policy?...It definitely makes you think about it." [01:52]

• How People Form Opinions:

  • Jeff Dollar laments the surface-level nature of voters’ research:

    "Most people, the extent of their research on any one of the candidates is probably what they see on television ...you take it for face value. Must be fact." [02:00]

2. Voting Behavior & Family Traditions

Starts at 02:18

• Obligation vs. Understanding:

  • Jen Hobby observes:

    "There's also a good chunk of people who feel obligated to vote, even if they're not educated completely..." [02:18]

  • The group riffs on the tradition of voting secrecy and “not discussing who you voted for,” leading into stories about growing up in families with quirky privacy ideals or home decor obsession.

• Hesitation to Vote Uninformed:

  • Jen Hobby admits she abstains when she lacks sufficient knowledge:

    "If I'm not...totally. Not totally. But if I don't at least have an awareness of it, I don't vote." [03:34]

3. Family Stories and Levity

03:34–06:38

• The conversation drifts, as is The Bert Show’s style, into stories of family quirks, especially about hiding purchases, odd collections (such as ball caps), and the peculiarities of childhood homes:
  • "We got a brand new console Zenith. We don't want anybody thinking we're all fancy." – Jen Hobby [04:11]
  • "He sawed off a broom handle, hung them all end to end...to hang them from the ceiling..." – Jen Hobby [05:14]

4. The Bert Show's Own Smear Campaigns

Begins at 07:03

To bring the topic full-circle—and for comedic effect—the cast draws names and produces mock smear ads about each other, parodying the over-the-top nature of real campaign spots.

a) Jeff Dollar's Smear Ad Against Melissa Carter

[07:46–08:35]

• Parodies political clichés:
  • "Melissa Carter. Not now, not ever. Not the right choice, paid for by anybody. But Melissa Carter campaign."
• Funny exaggerations:
  • “I'm stuck in the 80s.”
  • “I make children cry.”
  • “I don't have enough bile in my food.”

b) Burt Weiss’s Smear Ad Against Bert Weiss (Secretary of Education)

[08:45–09:36]

• Puns on education and leadership:
  • “The A in ACT stands for achievement. What about Burt Weiss?” [09:07]
  • “Most people would tell you that they have a child that poops in some random part of their house. For me, it was the grudge.” [09:11]
  • Questions fit for education:
    • “We're going to do something a little bit different at our house for Halloween. Not doing candy this year.” [09:24]

c) Jen Hobby’s Smear Ad Against Jeff Dollar

[09:59–11:02]

• Focuses on Jeff’s tech habits:
  • “Can you trust a candidate with an admitted addiction?...Jeff's admitted addiction to his BlackBerry is his first priority.” [10:02]
  • “If you can handle a text only relationship with your political but don't expect Anything more from Jeff.” [10:53]

d) Jeff Dollar’s Smear Ad Against Jen Hobby

[11:16–12:49]

• Zingers about sports, responsibility and lifestyle:
  • “Her myriad of blue devils only have four win in the season since her involvement. It's sad and pathetic. Nobody wants her curse brought upon this whole state.” [11:36]
  • “Jen Hobby doesn’t know how to be responsible. She killed her Tamagotchi pet after only five days...” [12:10]
  • “She’s a drunk and sexual deviant. Her Jenny do list consists of movie stars and athletes.” [12:19]
  • Audience member: “I remember hearing her cuss in front of a whole group of Bert’s Big Adventure kids...” [12:31]

“Don’t learn the hard way what those that know her already know. On election day, let your voice be heard.” [12:41]

• Laughter erupts as the group playfully disputes some of the wilder claims:
  • “I don't know about the sexual deviant part though. Come on now.” – Melissa Carter [13:00]
  • “You cut your underwear off with scissors yesterday.” – Jen Hobby [13:04]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Perpetual Smears:

  “People complain about it. Then the election’s over and...then the next election, everybody smears each other.” – Burt Weiss [01:15]

• How Smears Plant Doubt:

  “It definitely plants that seed of doubt...It definitely makes you think about it.” – Melissa Carter [01:49–01:52]

• Voting While Uninformed:

  “If I'm not...totally. Not totally. But if I don't at least have an awareness of it, I don't vote.” – Jen Hobby [03:34]

• Mock Smear Campaign Classic:

  “Melissa Carter. Not now, not ever. Not the right choice, paid for by anybody. But Melissa Carter campaign.” – Smear Ad [08:26]
  “She’s a drunk and sexual deviant. Her Jenny do list consists of movie stars and athletes.” – Smear Ad [12:19]

Key Timestamps

• 01:02 – Opening discussion: Why smear campaigns work
• 02:18 – On why people vote; the obligation even when uninformed
• 03:34 – Voting secrecy and family voting traditions
• 04:11 – Stories about hiding purchases and household quirks
• 07:03 – Group transitions to creating their own smear campaigns
• 07:46–08:35 – Smear ad: Jeff vs. Melissa
• 08:45–09:36 – Smear ad: Burt vs. Bert
• 09:59–11:02 – Smear ad: Jen vs. Jeff
• 11:16–12:49 – Smear ad: Jeff vs. Jen
• 13:04 – Cast jokes about the accuracy of the smear ads

Tone and Style

• The episode’s tone is quintessentially The Bert Show: playful, irreverent, and candid. The cast’s chemistry shines through their good-natured teasing and willingness to poke fun at themselves while examining a serious political phenomenon.

Summary

This episode of The Bert Show offers a sharp yet humorous look at the role of smear campaigns in American politics, paired with personal stories about voting traditions and capped by a creative exercise in making their own mock attack ads. The segment not only provides laughs but also prompts listeners to reflect on the impact of negative campaigning and the importance of being an informed voter—all with The Bert Show’s signature style.