The Bert Show – "Vault: Socially Acceptable Blatant Rudeness" (December 10, 2025)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the everyday phenomenon of "socially acceptable blatant rudeness"—the kinds of intrusive, insensitive, or inappropriate comments and behaviors that somehow get a pass in social situations. With their signature blend of humor and honesty, Bert, Melissa, and callers candidly share personal stories and vent about moments when people cross the line under the guise of "just being friendly" or "concerned." Topics range from food shaming and unsolicited advice to judgment around pregnancy, relationships, lifestyle, and sexual orientation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Food, Diet, and Lifestyle Policing

• Bert and Melissa kick off the conversation by venting about people who push their dietary choices (like being low-carb or vegetarian) onto others.

  • Bert jokes about "low carb Atkins freaks" and vegetarians who push their views (01:19).
  • Memorable Quote:

    "Mean angry vegetarians. You know why they're angry? Because they don't eat meat."
    — Bert (01:41)

  • The group notes that passion about personal regimens (diet, exercise) can morph into rudeness when imposed on others.

• Melissa shares her difficulty as a non-drinker due to medical reasons, especially in social situations where not drinking is questioned or shamed.

  • Melissa:

    "I have a medical condition, but there are people that choose not to drink because they don't want to drink, and that should be okay. ... It's incredibly rude for people to associate drinking with how fun a person is and can be."
    — (02:01)

2. Pregnancy—A Magnet for Invasive Comments

• Callers and hosts recount how pregnancy turns women into public property for comments and unsolicited touch.
• Notable Experiences:
  • Unwelcome belly rubbing from strangers (02:32–02:50).
    • Jessica:

      "Rudeness is when you are pregnant, and just because you are, people feel that they can come and rub your stomach... it's so annoying. Don't touch me."
      — (02:32, 02:46)

  • Jokes or rude remarks about women's size or eating habits when pregnant (04:55, 05:03).
    • Jessica:

      "Look how fat you are. ... Constantly making fun of everything you eat. 'Oh, there she is eating again.'"
      — (05:03)

  • Bert and Melissa joke about how these comments would never fly if reversed, highlighting the double standard (05:15–05:19).

3. Relationship Questions and Societal Expectations

• Listeners call in about being constantly asked about marriage, kids, and relationship milestones.
  • Pressure Theme:
    If you're dating, people ask when you're getting married; if married, when you'll have kids; if you have one kid, they ask about a second (03:15–04:07).
    • Memorable Quote:

      "People are never satisfied. If you're dating, they want you to get married. If you're married, they want you to have one kid. If you got one kid, they want you to have two."
      — Melissa (04:07)

  • Sherry describes the pressure to have a son as if daughters aren't "enough":
    • Sherry:

      "We have two beautiful daughters... and we have people constantly going, you gotta have a son. When are you gonna try for the boy? Like it's a Holy Grail or something."
      — (04:26–04:38)

4. Appearance-Based Comments—Thin and Thick Alike

• The group points out the hypocrisy in society’s tolerance of body-related remarks:
  • It’s seen as socially unacceptable to comment on someone being overweight, but okay to tell someone they’re "too skinny" (06:22–06:41).
    • Jessica:

      "You know, it's absolutely not acceptable to make fun of someone to their face because they're overweight... but, you know, it's okay to say, 'oh, you're just too skinny. You need to eat.' ... I would like to turn around and say, you know what? Your hips are getting on my nerves. Could you do something about that?"
      — (06:41)

5. Sexual Orientation and Intrusive Questions

• A listener highlights rudeness faced by lesbians when people feel entitled to ask about their sex lives.
  • Jessica:

    "Why is it when you tell somebody you're a lesbian, they immediately think that it's okay to discuss your sex life?"
    — (07:13)

  • Melissa:

    "It's rude to ask anyone who is gay what they do in bed."
    — (07:28)

  • Bert jokingly suggests distributing brochures, which Melissa rebuts with wit:
    • Melissa:

      "The only person that needs my brochure on what to do is somebody I'm gonna sleep with so they know what they're doing. You don't need my brochure. You know what I mean?"
      — (07:52)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Diet Policing:
  "You know why they're angry? Because they don't eat meat." — Bert (01:41)
• On Pregnancy Belly Touching:
  "Don't touch me." — Jessica (02:46)
• On Social Pressure to Marry:
  "What business is it of yours, right?" — Jessica (04:02)
• On Inappropriate Curiosity About Sexual Orientation:
  "It's rude to ask anyone who is gay what they do in bed." — Melissa (07:28)
• On Double Standards of Body Comments:
  "I would like to turn around and say, you know what? Your hips are getting on my nerves. Could you do something about that?" — Jessica (06:41)
• On Resorting to Humor:
  "There's the bitterness coming out. You ain't got nobody to sleep with me." — Bert to Melissa (07:58)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:19 – Diet and food choices as vehicles for rudeness
• 02:01 – Social shaming around not drinking alcohol
• 02:32–02:50 – Pregnancy and unwanted belly rubbing
• 03:15–04:07 – Relationship milestone pressures
• 04:26–04:45 – Pressure to have a son, gender as family "Holy Grail"
• 04:55–05:19 – Fat jokes and food shaming during pregnancy
• 06:22–06:41 – Thin-shaming as "acceptable" vs fat-shaming
• 07:13–07:39 – Invasive questions about sexual orientation

Tone & Style

The entire episode retains the Bert Show's hallmark: candid, relatable, and peppered with sharp wit and levity, even as it touches on real frustrations. Both the hosts and callers blend openness with humor, making the episode engaging and authentic.

Takeaway:
"Socially acceptable" rudeness often goes unchecked—from food choices and personal lifestyle to family planning and sexual orientation. The episode draws a line in the sand, using humor and honesty to call out these everyday micro-aggressions and affirm everyone's right to set boundaries.