Vault: Strange Things Grandparents Do

Summary

The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)

Episode: Vault: Strange Things Grandparents Do
Date: December 8, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is a lively, nostalgic deep-dive into the charming and sometimes downright bizarre eccentricities many grandparents (and some parents!) exhibit. The cast, joined by callers, swap personal stories about the quirky habits, penny-pinching routines, and old-soul superstitions handed down through the generations—many rooted in Depression-era upbringing or regional traditions. The tone is lighthearted, affectionate, and funny, with cast and listeners sharing moments that are both hilarious and deeply relatable.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grandparent Eccentricities: Food, Frugality & Routine

• Half-Drank Soda Cans (02:08–02:39)
  Jessica shares how her aunt heckled her 92-year-old grandmother for not finishing a can of soda:
  "Once you open a can of soda, it'll go flat if you put it in the fridge."
  Jessica explains her grandmother’s meager meals due to her age:
  "When you get that old, your meals become, you know, a slice of bread with peanut butter on it. And that's it. And that's all you eat for the entire day." (02:22 – Jessica)

• Hot Water Heater Ritual (02:39–03:43)
  The cast discusses Jessica's mom's unusual habit of only turning on the hot water heater before a shower to "save electricity." Elizabeth challenges this logic, but Jessica refuses to question an elder’s ways:
  "She's 60 something years old. I'm not gonna argue with her." (03:13 – Jessica)
  A friend clarifies that the hot water system is an old, Hawaii-specific setup.

• Early Rising & Sitting in the Dark (04:18–04:39)
  Jessica’s mom wakes at 4:30 am, waits for sunrise:
  "She gets up, makes her tea or whatever, heats it up in the microwave, goes and gets the paper and then comes back and sits in the dark house until the sun gets up enough so she can read the paper." (04:18 – Jessica)

2. Depression-Era & Cultural Habits

• Finishing Everything on the Plate
  A friend from Hawaii notes the cultural expectation to never waste food, especially Spam—"they almost see that as a sign of disrespect if you don't eat every last bit." (04:40)

• Unique Superstitions & Routines
  Crash recounts how his friend’s grandfather simply wouldn’t travel on Tuesdays, believing it to be unlucky (05:17).
  Jessica reminisces about monthly, never-changing family tours of her grandfather’s town (07:13-08:11):
  "Same tour every month from what I can remember, until I was old enough to not have to go with my parents every time, probably 13 or 14."

3. Audience Call-Ins: More Hilarious Habits

• Turning Off the Car at Red Lights (06:38–07:13)
  Vicki’s grandmother used to turn off the car at every red light to save gas—so often they’d still be stationary when the light turned red again.

  "Every single red light that we came to, she would turn it off. It was so humiliating. I was like ducked down in the seat and I was like 10 years old." (07:02–Vicki)

• The Baby Food Jar Heist (08:11–08:47)
  Hannah describes her grandmother filling empty baby food jars with food from buffets to secretly take home—plus pilfering any tabletop condiments.

  "She would steal the condiments. You could sit at a table that had salt, pepper, sugar, sweet low. By the end of the meal, gone." (08:40–Hannah)

• Hiding Money & Saving Everything (08:47–10:43)
  Many grandparents hid cash in drawers, stashed wads of bills everywhere, and saved every possible container:

  "Found, like, $1,000 in $5 bills in one drawer...another cabinet, all in, like, ones. Just random little wads of money all over the place." (08:52–Jessica)
  Vicki adds her grandmother kept dozens of yogurt cups, rubber bands, nail clippers, and "literally clothes my mom said that when she was growing up, she still had the same clothes." (09:39–10:21)

• Souped-Up Freezers & Tupperware Mania (10:46–11:25) Ike found hundreds of butter tubs and Ziploc bags with beans dating back decades in his grandfather’s freezer:

  "There must have been 200 of those [butter tubs]. He would save them, put green beans in them. In our garage, we have a freezer...no less than three or four hundred little Ziploc bags of kidney beans dating back from the mid-80s." (10:46–11:15–Ike)

4. Other Classic Moves

• Unplugging During Storms (11:29–11:54) Vicki describes how her grandmother made everyone unplug everything and “sit around and stare at each other” during storms.

• Boxing Nuns & Garden Artifacts (11:57–12:46) Crash finds a broken boxing nun puppet he tossed appearing as garden decor in his parents’ yard—typifying how elders don’t throw anything out.

• The Bacon Grease Can (13:03–13:17) Jessica recalls a Maxwell House coffee can of bacon grease in her parents’ fridge—never used, just always stored:

  "Whenever they cooked bacon they would pour the grease into a coffee can." (13:09–Jessica)
  Hannah defends the practice:
  "No, I save it all the time. You use it for cooking? Oh, it's great for seasoning and flavoring other foods." (13:19–Hannah)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On eccentric frugality:

  "You don't want to think of your own parents getting old." (11:57–Jessica)

• On the Depression legacy:

  "I think a lot of these eccentric type things come from our parents, like growing up in the Depression…they just never got out of that whole habit." (04:09–Crash)

• On intergenerational recognition:

  "It's easier to recognize in your in-laws than it is in your own parents." (12:40–Elizabeth)

• On coffee cans as storage:

  "When did like coffee cans become the universal holding device for every item in your grandparents' house?" (13:03–Crash)

• On nostalgia:

  "Same tour every month...until I was old enough to not have to go with my parents." (07:13–Jessica)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:34 – Show starts, Crash introduces the topic
• 02:08 – Jessica’s family soda/food stories
• 02:39 – The “hot water heater” discussion
• 04:09 – Reflection on Depression-era habits
• 05:17 – Superstitions: refusing to travel on certain days
• 06:38 – Vicki’s car-red-light-gas-saving grandmother (call-in)
• 07:13 – The repetitive monthly family town tour
• 08:11 – Hannah’s buffet and baby food jar stories
• 08:47 – Money hiding and hoarding (Jessica and Vicki’s stories)
• 10:46 – Ike’s grandfather’s bean/tub freezing story
• 11:29 – Storm unplugging tradition (call-in)
• 11:57 – The boxing nun puppet / garden art
• 13:03 – Coffee cans for bacon grease

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Episode Tone & Style

The conversation is affectionate, with playful teasing and gentle mocking of elders’ old-school logic. The cast’s storytelling and the energy of the callers keep things fast-paced and engaged, laced with frequent laughter and “can you believe it?” moments.

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Conclusion

“Strange Things Grandparents Do” serves up a loving tribute to the unique quirks of previous generations, from creative money-saving tricks to weirdly steadfast routines, all painted with the show’s signature humor and warmth. If you have ever wondered why your Nana saves bacon grease or your Pop hides $5 bills in the couch, this episode will make you laugh—and feel right at home.

Transcript

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[Crash]

The Bird Show Jeff mentioned something yesterday and I couldn't get to it because we just ran out of time. That I thought was pretty funny because I think generally old people are funny. And Jeff was talking about Jessica's mom, his mother in law and kind of this idiosyncrasy, this eccentric side to her. And I think all old people have some things they do that don't make sense to younger people but they make total sense to themselves and it's just so out of the realm of possibility that it just seems so eccentric.

[Jessica]

I know my like my aunt who you know, she's yeah, I mean she's older, she's 60s, maybe early 70s and like she used to have a thing. I remember she would heckle my grandmother if my grandmother did not finish an entire can of Soda. That was my aunt's thing. You don't wait. Because once you open a can of soda, it'll go flat if you put it in the fridge. But my grandmother, I mean, she's 92 years old and you know, when you get that old, your meals become, you know, a slice of bread with peanut butter on it. And that's it. And that's all you eat for the entire day.

[Crash]

And you have to even put that in a blender.

[Jessica]

Right. So I just remember being over at my grandmother's house once and, you know, she opened a can of whatever it was and poured half into a glass and drank it. And my aunt's like, what, are you going to finish the can? And she goes, no. And that was her thing. Jessica's mom, I found this out when we were there because she lives alone and doesn't like to. These are her words. Waste electricity. That 20 minutes before you take a shower, you have to turn on the hot water heater.

[Elizabeth]

And my question is, doesn't it take like as much energy to heat it up every single time you're gonna take a shower as it does just to leave it on?

[Jessica]

Well, she's 60 something years old. I'm not gonna argue with her.

[Crash]

Right.

[Jessica]

Like I'll, you know. But it screwed me every night. Cause I would forget that you had to do it. And I didn't get it for the first couple nights. Like the first night it happened, I thought somebody had just gotten out of the shower. You know how if you take like two showers back to back, the second person might run out of water? Like, so I thought maybe. And then like the second night, I think Jessica said, I'm gonna get in the shower. And her mom said, I'll go turn the water on for you. And then I don't even know if there's a switch.

[Elizabeth]

Now you can't say anything because it's your mother in law and you want to be respectful. But Jessica, you can.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Crash]

How can you say something to your.

[Elizabeth]

Mom about like, mom, just turn it on?

[Friend from Hawaii]

Well, it's not that. It's a conservation thing. It's the house. Like, that house is like a hundred years old. It's like one of the original houses in Hawaii. And so the way that the hot water is set up, you have to turn it on. You just can't keep it on all the time.

[Jessica]

No, she told me what she said I like to save electricity. She goes, the only thing I use hot water for is to take a shower. So I only turn it on when I take a shower.

[Crash]

I think a lot of these eccentric type things come from our parents, like growing up in the Depression or our grandparents growing up in the Depression. And they had to save and save and save and they just never got out of that whole habit.

[Jessica]

You know how old people start to get up earlier and earlier. Jessica's mom is up at like 4:30, 5:00 clock in the morning, but the sun doesn't rise until 6:30. So she gets up, she gets up, makes her tea or whatever, heats it up in the microwave, goes and gets the paper and then comes back and sits in the dark house until the sun gets up enough so she can read the paper.

[Crash]

Boy, that's eccentric.

[Friend from Hawaii]

Yeah, she's. Yeah, she has her moments. And you know what? I swear, like, everybody back in Hawaii too, I mean, they grew up, I think, like so a little bit more primitive, you know, like back in World War II. And I mean, they do things like they eat everything on their plate. And if you don't, they almost see that as a sign of disrespect. Like, chick, like, ugh. Like things that I can't do. Like, I don't like to suck on chicken bones or stuff like that, you know, and they'll eat like every last bit. And if you don't eat last bite, they'll be like, are you gonna finish that piece of Spam?

No, I hate Spam. And they're like, oh, I gave it to you. And it's like you feel obligated.

[Crash]

Like, I had a buddy whose grandfather wouldn't travel, like on Tuesdays. And I forget what had happened to like, maybe he knew somebody that was in a plane crash on a Tuesday and it just stuck with him and he just would not. He couldn't budge from that. He would not fly on Tuesdays. Hey, Julie.

[Vicki]

Hey, how are you doing?

[Crash]

Good, thank you.

[Vicki]

I have the craziest landlord. She will come in and turn the light off in my living room. You know, the one light you leave on so when you come home, you can see when you walk in.

[Jessica]

Oh, no.

[Vicki]

And she will turn it off and she turns the heat off and will not turn it on until everybody is at home at night. And so that it's like 50 degrees at 3 o' clock in the morning.

[Crash]

How old is this landlord?

[Vicki]

Oh, she's only 40.

[Crash]

Oh, really? See, I was gonna say if it was like 70, I can understand it, you know, but it's 40.

[Elizabeth]

She's a cheapo.

[Jessica]

I think it's more of an older person thing because than it is. I mean, she's just being cheap. But I think old people, for some reason, older people just get stuck in their ways and they just have a way of. There's just a way. There's just a routine.

[Crash]

I think it was a depression thing. I really do.

[Jessica]

And I think Jessica's dad washed their car every Saturday, like at like 7 in the morning. Wasn't it like every Saturday? That's what he did. Even if, I mean, even if it wasn't dirty. They had two cars and one he didn't drive often because her mom doesn't drive. So even if he didn't drive the car and only drove the pickup truck, the car would still get washed every Saturday morning.

[Crash]

Hey, Elizabeth.

[Vicki]

Hey. How you doing?

[Crash]

Good, thank you.

[Vicki]

I've got the funniest story. Back when my grandmother was still alive, we would go out to Fayetteville, where I used to live, and we would come to red lights. And my grandmother thought she was saving gas by turning the car off when the light turned red. And by the time the light finally turned green, she cranked the car back up and the light would be red again. It was hilarious.

[Crash]

Every red light, she would turn it off.

[Vicki]

At every single red light that we came to, she would turn it off. It was so humiliating. I was like ducked down in the seat and I was like 10 years old.

[Crash]

It would take you forever to get anywhere.

[Vicki]

I know. It was hilarious.

[Jessica]

My grandpa, we used to. He lived an hour north of us, and we would go up like once a month to see him and we'd all get in the family car and drive up. And then at some point he would take my dad and I. We were obligated to do it. My dad was obviously his son in law. We would get in the car and we would take the same tour of the same town that we took every. And he would take us down. He lived in a town called Oswo, which was right on the Oswo river, which is a big shipping port for upstate New York. So we would go down to the port and we would see what ships are in, and then we would hear about what ships have been in the past week. And then we would go and we drive and there's this restaurant called Rudy's. And we would drive out past there. We'd drive through the college campus. Same tour every month from what I can remember, until I was old enough to not have to go with my parents every time, probably 13 or 14. But until he got sick, you know, obviously his older years. But until he got. Got Sick. Every time we go up there, the same tour of the same city.

[Hannah]

I had crazy baby food jar. Grandmother.

[Crash]

Oh, you see a lot of this? You see a lot of this? Yeah.

[Hannah]

She was insane, though, because she had a bag. See, the size of Jessica's handbag right there increased that by tenfold. It was like the size of a suitcase she would take to Shoney's or whatever buffet she wanted to attack. Take out the empty baby food jars and fill up them with the buffet items and take home an entire suitcase full of baby food jars full of depression.

[Elizabeth]

Right there. That's from living in the Depression.

[Hannah]

She would steal the condiments. You could sit at a table that had salt, pepper, sugar, sweet low. By the end of the meal, gone.

[Crash]

How many of your grandparents used to keep, like, the money underneath the mattress because they didn't trust banks anymore, hide the money?

[Jessica]

The same grandfather, when he passed away, they were cleaning up his house, you know, cleaning, helping my grandmother go through his stuff. And they found money all over the place. Like, they found, like, $1,000 and $5 bills, like, in one drawer.

[Crash]

Stacy's aunt was like that, too, when she passed away.

[Jessica]

And another cabinet, all in, like, ones. Just random little wads of money all over the place.

[Elizabeth]

And they'll save the little bits of soap, too. Like, you know how you get down to the end of the bar of soap and we just end up throwing it away? They would save them all and then put them all back together to form, like, one.

[Crash]

I never saw soap.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah, that's a depression thing, too.

[Hannah]

My grandmother was also notorious for keeping all her cigarette butts in the ashtray. Like, she wouldn't empty them for a week, and she would go into the ashtray and just grab one that she may have thought had an extra puff to it, relight it, and take another puff of cigarette.

[Crash]

That's hardcore, man. Hey, Vicki.

[Vicki]

Hello. My grandmother, God rest her soul, she died last year, but she was 88, and she grew up in the Depression. Could not read, could not write. But my cousin lived with her the last couple of months before she passed away. And every time my cousin would eat yogurt, we found out after my grandmother had died that my grandmother would dig them out of the garbage and wash out the yogurt cup and saved them. She had, like, 50 yogurt cups. She had two boxes of rubber bands. She had 40 nail clippers and, like, cuticle cutters in this box. She saved everything. She had 10 jars of vitamin E cream.

[Crash]

Damn.

[Vicki]

She grew up in the Depression. She couldn't read, she couldn't write. But she had her own code. She could call everybody. But she was the smartest woman I knew because she. She was thrifty and. But she saved everything. She had clothes. Literally clothes. My mom said that when she was growing up, she still had the same clothes.

[Hers Brand Rep]

She was like.

[Elizabeth]

She was wise. Maybe not book smart, but very wise.

[Crash]

It's like everybody turns into Rain man at the age of 65.

[Ike]

Going on the same thing that Crash was saying about finding money in the house. When my grandfather passed away a year ago, when we went through the house, you know, he's been living in this house for a good 50 years. Found cash all over the place. Found those country Crock butter spreads, those tubs. There must have been 200 of those. He would save them, put green beans in them. In our garage, we have a freezer. There must be. I kid you not, no less than three or four hundred little Ziploc bags of kidney beans dating back from the mid-80s.

[Crash]

You can't let anything go, man.

[Jessica]

People will freeze anything. Yeah, they will freeze anything. They can find a half eaten slice of pizza on the street and it will go in the freezer.

[Elizabeth]

It's so true.

[Crash]

Hey, Lisa.

[Vicki]

Yes. Hey. How are you?

[Crash]

Good, thanks.

[Vicki]

Good. This isn't really a savings thing. I don't really know where it came from with my grandmother, but anytime we were getting ready to have a storm, she would have all the grandchildren go around and unplug everything electrical in the house.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Vicki]

And then we had to sit around and stare at each other while the storm was going on because we didn't have anything to keep us occupied or, you know. Yeah.

[Jessica]

It's also like, oh, I hear some thunder in the distance. We better get off the phone.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Crash]

Because you're gonna get shocked if you're on the phone right now.

[Jessica]

Here's one. Cause I don't think. I think this is just gonna be my parents being weird because, you know, you don't wanna think of your own parents getting old. But Jessica and I went to visit several years ago, and for some reason, in the backseat of my car. You ever see those boxing nuns? Yeah, like, it's like a puppet and. You little thing. Yeah, yeah. Nun boxes. There's one in the backseat of my car. I don't know how it ended up there. Somebody gave it to me as a joke or something. But we were goofing around with it and it broke and I threw it out. So the next year, we go visit my parents and we're sitting around on their patio. And I glance over to the garden and on a stake in the garden is the broken boxing nun.

[Elizabeth]

They saved it. It's easier to recognize in your in laws than it is in your own parents.

[Crash]

Cause you don't want to see it.

[Elizabeth]

Well, in your own parents you think it's normal because you grew up with it and it's so normal. But when you get married and you see your in laws you're like, okay, that is some bizarre behavior.

[Jessica]

There's nothing norma about digging a busted up puppet out of the garbage and hanging it on a stick in your garden. I don't care in laws, parents. That was weird.

[Crash]

And when did like coffee cans become the universal holding device of every item in your grandparents house?

[Jessica]

I don't know if my parents still do this, but whenever they cooked bacon they would pour the grease into a coffee can.

[Friend from Hawaii]

They save it and I don't know.

[Jessica]

What it ever got used for.

[Crash]

What do I do with it?

[Hannah]

No, I save it all the time. You use it for cooking? Oh, it's great for seasoning and flavoring other foods.

[Elizabeth]

Nasty.

[Ike]

Oh yeah.

[Jessica]

I don't think my parents ever used it. I just know that in my nasty old refrigerator on the bottom shelf was a coffee can. A Maxwell House coffee can with a plastic lid. And it was 2/3 filled with bacon grease. Nasty. The Birch Show.

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[Ike]

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[Jessica]

Drewski, lift with your legs, man.

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Santa.

[Crash]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[Ike]

He's talking to you, Bridges.

[Jessica]

I'm not.

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Right Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here, He handles the nice and elf.

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