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Birch (Host)
The Birch show we have been building a healthy little dating dictionary here because the problem part of the problem with dating is especially when you're in a city like Atlanta, you have so many different people coming from different parts of the country that the nomenclature S a T word.
Co-host or Panelist 1
That's a big word.
Birch (Host)
Thanks. The the definitions for dating terms can be different. Hooking up is the classic example.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Yeah, hooking up is the first one we put on our dating dictionary. And for for me, I always heard hooking up as you had sex. I mean, first and foremost, where everybody else in the room hooking up was just making out. So if somebody said, oh, I hooked up with her last night, I thought you had sex with her last night. And everybody else's, they either kissed or made out or whatever. So because I'm in the minority, when we started our Burt show, Dating Dictionary, hooking up is the first term, and that is defined now first, you know, like, finally defined as just making out.
Birch (Host)
And these are defined based on your phone calls. Like, we get a general feel of what you guys want to go with with these. And that's what we put into the dating dictionary. Right, the ones that we've covered already.
Co-host or Panelist 2
So hooking up means making out. Another one was seeing each other. What does that mean? It means that you are pre exclusive. So you're not exclusive with each other yet, but, you know, seeing each other. Same with dating. If you're dating somebody, you're pre exclusive, but if you define it as being in a relationship, that means that you are exclusive with each other. We also had to define the basis. So I guess when you're out there hooking up, you know what you're doing. First base, kissing, making out. Second base is anything above the border. Third base is anything below the border. And then home run, of course, is sex. And the last time we put something in the dating dictionary was the term on a break, which we defined as a trial separation. But you are able to see other people. However, you cannot have sex with those other people.
Birch (Host)
You can make out, but. And then hook up.
Co-host or Panelist 2
You can hook up. In our dating dictionary, hookup, which means making out, but you cannot have sex with them.
Birch (Host)
So there's a whole bunch of these terms that we go through from time to time. Which ones do you guys want to tackle today? Or. Let's just focus on one.
Co-host or Panelist 3
What do you got?
Birch (Host)
We got on the table, still hanging out together, fooling around. Just my MySpace friend. Friends with benefits, or best guy friend.
Co-host or Panelist 1
I think that the most ambiguous ones are at the top of that list. What is this first three again?
Birch (Host)
We had talking, hanging out and together.
Co-host or Panelist 1
I think hanging out.
Birch (Host)
All right. Hanging out.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Okay, what was your vote?
Co-host or Panelist 3
Best guy friend.
Birch (Host)
You mean MySpace friend?
Co-host or Panelist 3
No, best guy friend.
Birch (Host)
My best guy friend.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Because I'm curious about that one.
Co-host or Panelist 3
My confusion of that would come from, like, if a girl has a best guy friend and he's gay, no worries. But if a girl says, oh, yeah, that's my best guy friend, and you start to date her, like, I would be very curious to. What a woman defines that is Cause I think a guy would have a problem with a girl having a best guy friend.
Birch (Host)
That to me. Okay. And you can define the first thing that comes to.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Go ahead.
Birch (Host)
404-741-1005 so what is best guy friend?
Co-host or Panelist 3
First thing that came to mind for me was Will and Grace. Grace's relationship with Will.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Right.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Which was non threatening because Will was gay.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Right.
Co-host or Panelist 3
But what if you don't have like what if you have.
Co-host or Panelist 2
But you have to factor in though C. You have to make sure like we have in the definition. Can he be an ex boyfriend? Because some. My best guy friend. Oh we dated but now we're just friends and he's my best guy friend.
Birch (Host)
Is there a time element that plays also like if he has been your best guy friend. Guys have never hooked up.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Right.
Birch (Host)
Best friend never, ever, ever, ever hooked up. Are you allowed to keep that best friend even though it's somebody from the opposite sex?
Co-host or Panelist 1
We should ask Phil because I imagine Phil gets the role of best guy friend a lot.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Jen Fallon strikes me as the type of person who has a lot of best and they're probably her ex boyfriend, best guy friend.
Birch (Host)
All right. Jessica says here's our starting point. Jessica, good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller 1
Good morning.
Birch (Host)
Hi.
Caller 1
My best guy friend is a guy that I previously dated and had sex with who is my backup in case I ever break up with my current boyfriend.
Birch (Host)
Really? So it has nothing to do with anything platonic.
Caller 2 / Knox (Podcast Host)
Really?
Birch (Host)
This is your backup sexual.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Do you refer to. Go ahead.
Caller 1
We're still friends. As in like if I have a boyfriend we are strictly platonic and we're still close friends. But if I break up with boyfriend, then it becomes more than platonic.
Co-host or Panelist 3
But does your boyfriend know that he is that you have a best guy friend? Maybe not.
Co-host or Panelist 1
He's her on deck.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Better.
Caller 1
Well, he knows that I have a best guy friend, but he doesn't know the history.
Co-host or Panelist 3
So this guy. Yeah, I think Jen nailed it. This guy's into bullpen. So if things become tiresome, you just.
Birch (Host)
Bring this dude in.
Co-host or Panelist 3
You get late in the game with your current boyfriend and you're like, you know what? This isn't working out. You can make a quick change.
Birch (Host)
So I mean the, the, the obvious definition would be if it's a best guy friend, it's just somebody that you confide in, somebody that you cry on their shoulder. You're saying we got to scrap that definition. This really all has to do with just. I mean it's really friends with benefits. Isn't It.
Caller 1
Well, I. I like the definition because he. Because my. My best guy friend is the front of my shoulder. You're my best friend until I break up with my boyfriend, and then it's friends with benefits.
Co-host or Panelist 2
See, I knew that with the best guy friend. The reason you have to justify this is my best guy friend is I knew that it would have to have something to do with being an ex because I think there's probably more best guy friends that are out there that women have actually dated, but it just didn't work out, or it wasn't passionate or whatever, but wanted to keep them around.
Birch (Host)
This one's gonna. I can tell by the calls already coming in. This one's gonna be tough to define, but.
Co-host or Panelist 1
Yeah. Couldn't it be, though, that you've known this kid since you were like 2 years old and grew up together and you really could be completely platonic?
Birch (Host)
I guess it could be, but.
Co-host or Panelist 2
But according to guys, aren't you hanging around till you have sex with somebody?
Birch (Host)
Yeah, like, I mean, but if you've.
Co-host or Panelist 1
Been friends since childhood and say you were next door neighbors and your families are all still friends, whatever, couldn't you be the best guy friend?
Co-host or Panelist 3
Do you have a best guy friend, Jen? Hobby.
Co-host or Panelist 1
Mm.
Birch (Host)
Mm.
Co-host or Panelist 3
I think that's why I think this is the one we needed to find. Because I think if somebody has a best guy friend, I think it's dangerous.
Co-host or Panelist 2
I mean, she does and she came clean with what he is.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Everybody. Hey, Jen Fallon, come in here and just answer the question. Do you have a best guy friend? And what was your previous relationship with him? And I guarantee you it's an ex boyfriend.
Birch (Host)
Hey, Elizabeth, you're on Q100. Hi.
Caller 2 / Knox (Podcast Host)
Hi.
Caller 1
A best guy friend to me is basically the guys that, you know, you enjoy their company, but they weren't really that cute. Cute enough to date, but you knew if you weren't dating anybody, you kind of fall back on them to go out and have a good time and not have to, you know, sleep with them or kiss them or do anything. And it's, you know, they were just a lot of fun because, you know, I mean, easy to get stuff out of them.
Birch (Host)
So this is not a guy that you would have sex with even if your first string starting boyfriend went away?
Caller 1
No, no, not at all. Because it's just, you know, that you can go out and have a good time with them and there aren't expectations at the end. Even though you know they like you, you don't have to like them. And that's just, you know, that's how all my guy friends have ever been. And yeah, they're a lot of fun, but you know, I'm married now. I don't talk to any of my guy friends, but it's just easy to go out with them and not have to have any expectations.
Birch (Host)
Well, I think it makes a pretty powerful statement if you lost your best guy friend when you got married.
Caller 1
Well, my best guy friends, you know, I mean, it's hard to have a husband and hang out with your guy friends because that kind of looks bad to your husband.
Co-host or Panelist 3
You think?
Caller 1
You get what I'm saying.
Co-host or Panelist 2
That's why we're defining it.
Birch (Host)
Yeah, we're trying. Anyway. Jen Fallon.
Verizon Advertiser
Jeff, can you repeat your question? Cause I only heard half of it.
Co-host or Panelist 3
It's a two part question. I'll give you part number one. First, do you have a best guy friend?
Verizon Advertiser
I do.
Co-host or Panelist 3
And prior, is he gay?
Verizon Advertiser
No, he's not.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Okay, so prior to him being designated best guy friend, did you date?
Co-host or Panelist 2
We did.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Thank you.
Birch (Host)
All right, so generally, but I will.
Verizon Advertiser
Say my best guy friend, prior to him, like before I met this guy, was my best guy friend from high school. Never ever dated him. Never thought of kissing him. Was disgusted by the thought of kissing.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Him because he was not cute enough to date.
Birch (Host)
You didn't.
Verizon Advertiser
He was just the guy that had all girlfriends. Like he was just.
Co-host or Panelist 3
But you swapped him. You swapped him. Married now, but you swapped him for a better looking best guy friend.
Verizon Advertiser
Well, he. When my best guy friend from high school started dating this current girlfriend, the one he's married to now, he kind of dropped off the face of the earth and I started hanging out with my new one.
Birch (Host)
Isn't it as a general rule, because Stacy had one of these guys also that at one point or another, if you have a best guy friend, you try to do something more, but when you do, you realize that he's more like a brother to you than he really is. Like going to be a boyfriend with my current one.
Verizon Advertiser
Yes. My last one. We never tried anything.
Co-host or Panelist 2
The difference is, I think between women, it, it varies on how far they went to find out. Some women just made out and some had sex with them to find out that this wasn't. What, you know, we're better off friends. But there's a. I do believe there's a history with most best guy friends.
Birch (Host)
Hey, Rachel.
Caller 1
Hey guys. How are you all doing?
Birch (Host)
Good, thank you.
Caller 1
Great, right? So my best guy friend, we dated like five years ago and ever since then, none of his girlfriends like me and none of my Boyfriends have ever liked him.
Birch (Host)
All right, but you gave us a good piece to this puzzle, though, because what we're hearing time and time again, though, is guy friend that I used to date.
Caller 1
Yeah, we dated a long time ago, but we genuinely are friends now. Like, I can never see myself being with him in that way again, but we're genuinely friends.
Birch (Host)
What are we to take from all that?
Co-host or Panelist 1
I don't know. It's so confusing.
Co-host or Panelist 3
If you're in a relationship. If you're in a relationship with a. With a girl, you. You don't want her to have a.
Birch (Host)
Best guy friend, because generally that means at one point or another, they have hooked up.
Co-host or Panelist 3
Or he's on standby, as the first call taught us, or he's on standby for after you guys break up. And guys don't want to be looking over the shoulder.
Co-host or Panelist 1
Isn't that sort of from. If you take it from the guy's perspective, if you are the best guy friend, like, the majority of guys, are they just hanging around to hook up, or do they really want a girl that's their best girlfriend that they're not sleeping with?
Co-host or Panelist 3
If you're calling him your best guy friend, then he wants to have sex with you.
Co-host or Panelist 1
Yeah. Like, if he's hanging out, spending as much time with you, you know, sending you emails or text messages or taking time out of his weekend to hang out with you or whatever, he's hoping he's going to crack in.
Birch (Host)
As a general show, as a general rule, I would say that's true. I mean, if it. I mean, if it came down to it, if I'm gonna have a friend, I mean, it's gonna be a guy or it's gonna be a woman. I enjoy hanging out with dudes more as friends. So if I was gonna have a best friend, it was gonna be a guy or it's gonna be a guy.
Co-host or Panelist 3
But if there was a girl who called you, oh, that's for. He's my best guy friend, then she probably.
Birch (Host)
I would hate that. I would hate that. I don't know why I would hate it. I would just hate it.
Co-host or Panelist 3
I'm gonna start calling you my best guy friend.
Birch (Host)
Hey, James. Good morning. Here on Q100.
Caller 3
Hey, how are you guys doing?
Birch (Host)
All right. What's going on?
Caller 3
Hey, I got kind of an interesting one. My best friend is actually my ex wife, and it was actually an ex girlfriend that pointed it out to me. A couple of years ago, she and I were dating, and, you know, I kept talking about my ex wife and everything, and she was my friend, and now she's not my best friend. But she finally proved to me that she was. Now I'm engaged to somebody else. So it was weird to her at first, but now we're all nice, one big family. And the thing is, her husband and I, we kind of get along, but she's actually. He's actually the guy that she left me for. So it's a weird. This is a really weird one. But I mean, you know, I'll be over at the house and stuff, and we hang out a bunch, and I've literally been there like 10:30 at night or whatever. He come home from work, and he look at me kind of funny. But, you know, there's never any issue.
Birch (Host)
But there still is one common denominator, right? They used to be together.
Co-host or Panelist 2
This is like a lesbian drama right there. I mean, because it is.
Co-host or Panelist 1
Yeah.
Co-host or Panelist 2
I. I don't know. That's. I'm not. Consider me selfish or consider me not a big person, but I just know I don't. I would not be in that situation. I would not be with somebody whose best friend is their ex lover. And I'm not best friends with my ex lover. And then we're kind of still all of one big happy family. What?
Birch (Host)
You know, so if we are drawing up a brand new dating dictionary, then we have to redefine this term because a best guy friend is generally somebody that you have already hooked up with.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Someone you had hooked up with, but now are platonic with, or just somebody you had hooked up with.
Birch (Host)
The first call was kind of an anomaly. Like, I don't think that's the rule.
Co-host or Panelist 2
Someone you had hooked up with or.
Co-host or Panelist 1
Used to be in a relationship with, but now it's platonic because you both moved on.
Birch (Host)
Right. But the one constant is that you guys hooked up at one point or another. So there has to be another term that we have to come up with for the person that's in your life that you've never hooked up with before, that is still considered a really good friend.
Co-host or Panelist 3
It's getting confused now. We're inventing words. Like, not only have we def. Combining words that already exist, we're adding words.
Birch (Host)
Right? Go check out the dating dictionary online@AllTheHitsQ100.com the Birch Show.
Caller 2 / Knox (Podcast Host)
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The holidays are better.
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Caller 2 / Knox (Podcast Host)
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Release Date: November 19, 2025
Main Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show dives deep into the ever-confusing language of modern dating, using real listener input to define and debate some of the most ambiguously used terms in relationships and dating culture. The panel discusses the nuances of phrases like “hooking up,” “seeing each other,” and especially “best guy friend,” aiming to crowdsource a practical “dating dictionary” for listeners navigating today’s romantic landscape.
The episode is a lively, candid exploration of how language shapes expectation and trust in dating. The panel’s crowd-sourced definitions expose the implicit anxieties and ambiguities around male-female friendships—especially when there’s past romance involved. Ultimately, the episode can’t unearth a consensus, but it succeeds in airing the range of perspectives both listeners and co-hosts bring to an ever-evolving dating dictionary.