Vault: The Best Ways To Potty Train

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: The Best Ways To Potty Train

Air Date: January 5, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Hosts and Contributors: Bert, Kristin, other regular co-hosts, and several parent/caregiver callers
Main Theme: Potty Training Strategies, Pitfalls, and Parental Frustrations

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Bert and the crew tackle the daunting and often messy process of potty training young children. Bert, feeling overwhelmed by his son Hayden's hit-and-miss potty training attempts, turns to the show's audience for real-life advice and encouragement. What emerges is an honest and entertaining exchange of personal failures and successes, highlighting the unpredictable journey of introducing children to the potty, especially when confronted with conflicting advice and mounting frustration.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Potty Training Dilemma

• [01:32] Bert opens up: his two-and-a-half-year-old son Hayden is in the throes of potty training. Number one (‘pee’) is going okay, but number two (‘poop’) is leading to “a poop fest” around the house.
  • Quote: “It’s a poop fest right now… it’s like a minefield in my house sometimes.” (Bert, 03:13)
• Bert and his wife Stacy feel lost, admitting they don’t have many friends with kids and are mostly relying on a half-read book.

2. When to Start Potty Training? Is It Too Early or Late?

• [03:16, 05:27] The team and callers discuss timing:
  • Boys often take longer than girls.
  • Two-and-a-half is typical, but every child’s readiness varies.
  • Quote: “I have heard also that boys do it later than girls.” (Co-host, 03:18)

3. Common Techniques and Positive Reinforcement

• Potty Parties and Treats

  • [04:30] Caller Karen shares her “potty parties” strategy with celebratory noisemakers and Skittles for every successful attempt.
    • Quote: “We did those and then... we gave them... a Skittle each time that they went potty. It took two weeks.” (Karen, 04:46)
  • Bert mentions using ‘mini M&Ms’ at home and stickers as another incentive.
  • “Tattoos” (temporary) and “Thomas trains” were also offered as rewards (06:23, 08:03).

• Target Practice with Cereal

  • [07:27] A nanny caller describes putting cereal in the toilet for target practice, turning the act into a game, especially for boys.

4. Stick With It or Take a Break? The ‘Don’t Go Back’ Debate

• [05:36, 06:38, 08:39]
  • Several callers advise not going back to diapers or pull-ups once you start, warning that regression confuses the child and delays results.
    • Quote: “Do not go back to diapers, Bert.” (Karen, 06:38)
  • Opposing perspective from Amy, who shared that pushing her daughter too early led to more issues, and a break helped when her child showed readiness later:
    • Quote: “If you force kids, that’s the worst thing you can do, because then they’re petrified of it… So we backed off for a little bit, and then… she came [back] to me: ‘Mommy, I need to go potty.’” (Amy, 09:34, 10:40)

5. Frequency Tricks and Scheduling

• [06:01, 08:27]
  • Bert and callers share various intervals for taking kids to the potty: every 45 minutes, every two hours, or timing number two attempts differently (every 50 minutes).
  • Keeping kids focused (visually looking down) can sometimes trigger the urge to go, particularly with boys.

6. Leading by Example

• [06:46] Some parents and partners encourage letting children witness parents using the toilet to demystify the process—though consensus breaks down over whether witnessing a parent’s “number two” is helpful or just gross.
  • Quote: “For a while there [Stacy] wanted me to show him number one and number two... I’m like, that’s crazy talk right there. No. No one is sitting there pooping in front of their kid.” (Bert, 06:52)

7. Parental Frustration and Humor

• Bert and the co-hosts keep the atmosphere light but honest, highlighting the emotional rollercoaster parents endure:
  • Quote: “Can you exchange him for a new kid? Two puppies. Hey, you want to trade?” (Bert, 11:49)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s like a minefield in my house sometimes.” (Bert, 03:13)
• “We gave them a Skittle each time that they went potty… it took two weeks.” (Caller Karen, 04:46)
• “We would let him pick out his cereal and say, okay, you got to shoot the target.” (Caller Nanny, 07:27)
• “Do not go back to diapers, Bert.” (Caller Karen, 06:38)
• “If you force kids, that’s the worst thing you can do, because then they’re petrified of it.” (Caller Amy, 09:34)
• “You gotta get rid of what you used to do and keep trying to go forward.” (Caller Karen, 06:40)
• “It’s kind of like a trial and game era with her that we did with the potty training.” (Caller Amy, 11:03)

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Timestamps to Key Segments

• 01:32: Bert’s opening rant - the “poop fest” at home
• 03:11: Co-hosts and Bert discuss Hayden’s age and typical timelines for boys
• 04:24 – 05:40: Caller Karen explains the “potty party” method and age experiences
• 06:01 – 06:46: Caller Cassie shares starting early, use of gumball machines, and why not to revert to diapers
• 06:46 – 07:08: Debate over letting kids watch parents on the toilet
• 07:23 – 08:36: Nanny caller’s target practice method and reward schedule
• 09:34 – 11:10: Caller Amy describes her failed first attempt, taking a break, and eventually succeeding
• 11:49: Bert jokes about trading his son for puppies

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Conclusions & Takeaways

• There’s no universal path: Every child (and parent) will experience potty training differently; readiness, personality, and persistence all play roles.
• Positive reinforcement works: Treats, stickers, toys, and even small parties make the process more engaging.
• Consistency versus compassion: The ongoing debate—should you never go back, or is it humane (and sometimes effective) to take a break and try later?
• Don’t be afraid to laugh: Comic relief and empathy help parents through this universally messy milestone.

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For parents embarking on their own potty training adventure, this episode offers hard-earned advice, reassurance, and candid testimonials that every ‘poop fest’ eventually ends—with patience, creativity, and a lot of cleaning supplies.

Transcript

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[Bert]

Hey, the bird show. All right, I need a little help from parents. I know this is gonna be pretty boring for those of you that don't have kids, but just bear with me for a couple of seconds because my house is just a. It's a poop fest right now. Is what it is. You or Stacy or Hayden? Well, it was me for a while. Cause I'm getting to that age.

[Caller Amy]

Yeah, right.

[Bert]

But it's Hayden and potty training and we're really kind of in the dark about it. So I almost felt like I'd like to do an idiot's guide to potty training because we are totally clueless about it right now.

[Podcast Host 2]

That would be. How old is Hayden now?

[Bert]

He's two and a half.

[Podcast Host 2]

Okay.

[Bert]

And I think like between two and three, I think is when kids start to get potty trained. But as I understand it and we don't have a lot of friends, I think part of the reason why we're so in the dark is we don't have a lot of friends that have kids that are Hayden's age. So we're trying to do it kind of like blindsided. And I think Stacy's picked up like baby wise potty training book, but she's only gotten through a couple of pages so far. And we're failing miserably at it right now. Here's how we understand it's supposed to happen. Like once the child says to you something about potty, then that's like the red light. Okay, it's time to start potty training. Once that happens, you're supposed to put them on the toilet every 45 minutes and you do some positive reinforcement things. And then eventually, after about two weeks, they say, or a week and a half, he should be telling you when he needs to go to the bathroom so you don't have to constantly be running in there every 45 minutes or an hour and a half. We haven't found that to be the case. So we're still running in there every 45 minutes. And while he's doing pretty good with number one, number two, not so good. So he's pooping all over the house.

[Podcast Host 2]

Oh, no.

[Bert]

I mean, yeah.

[Caller or Co-host]

Now, how old is Hayden?

[Bert]

Like a minefield in my house sometimes.

[Caller or Co-host]

How old is Hayden again?

[Bert]

He's about two and a half.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay.

[Caller or Co-host]

Cause I was gonna say, I mean. Cause I think we talked about this a little off air and I have heard also that boys do it later than girls. Right. Potty training.

[Podcast Host 2]

I've heard that.

[Caller or Co-host]

Because I wonder if he's a little early at two and a half.

[Bert]

Okay, maybe so. I don't know. I guess my question here also is. And the calls are starting to come in now. I guess my question is, how long do you go before you realize that it's just not right? Also because we're two weeks into this and the one thing that Stacy did read is about a week and a half, two weeks, if they haven't figured it out, just go back to the diapers. But we almost feel like, I don't know, we feel like we're halfway home right now. We're halfway home. He's got number one. He's got number one down.

[Podcast Host 2]

Does he have the pull up diapers that he can pull up and off by himself? Right.

[Bert]

Um, yes. They're.

[Podcast Host 2]

They're kind of like underwear.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah, but they're diapers.

[Bert]

Right. And they're not really even diapers. They're. They don't absorb as Much. So the theory is that the child's supposed to be uncomfortable if he does that in his pants, Right? So he'll start complaining and not want to do that anymore. But not my kid. He's got no problem with that at all.

[Podcast Host 2]

Playing in the poo.

[Bert]

Play in the poo. No worries. So, the Idiot's Guide to Potty Training. I won't spend a lot of time on this, but you guys could sure help me out. Good morning, Karen.

[Caller Karen]

Hey, Bert. Good morning.

[Bert]

Good morning. Can you help me out here?

[Caller Karen]

Well, I can offer a little advice.

[Caller Nanny]

That works for us.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Caller Karen]

We have. I have two little boys, and we did potty parties for the both of them.

[Bert]

Potty parties? Oh, yeah.

[Caller Karen]

And every time that we got them to go potty, we've got the little. You know, the little things you blow at the birthday parties. The little streamer things that.

[Bert]

Yeah, the little.

[Caller Karen]

Yeah, yeah, we did those and then we gave them. And this is really terrible, but we gave them a Skittle each time that they went potty. It took two weeks.

[Bert]

Oh, really? Okay. Now we've been using, like, those little mini M and M's.

[Caller Karen]

That too.

[Caller Amy]

Yeah.

[Caller Karen]

I just didn't give my kids too much chocolate, so we chose the Skittle.

[Bert]

But either way, I think the one thing that Stacey's read about this also is that stickers seem to be, like, a really great positive reinforcement thing. So every time he goes, he gets to put a sticker on the back of his little potty toilet.

[Caller Karen]

That too. We did tattoos.

[Bert]

You did tattoos. Okay. And that worked for you? And in two weeks, everything was fine.

[Caller Amy]

Done.

[Caller Karen]

Yep.

[Bert]

And how old were your kids when they started?

[Caller Karen]

My little one was two and a half, like Hayden.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Caller Karen]

And my older son was almost three and a half.

[Bert]

So if you were two weeks into this and it wasn't working out so well for you, would you continue doing it or would you go back to the diapers?

[Caller Karen]

I would. I would continue.

[Bert]

Okay. Thank you.

[Caller Nanny]

Okay.

[Caller Karen]

Have a great day.

[Bert]

You, too. Bye now.

[Podcast Host 2]

But did you hear what she said about her older son? That he was three and a half, so might take a little longer than you're hoping.

[Bert]

Good morning, Cassie. The Idiot's Guide to Potty Training.

[Caller Karen]

Hi, guys. Hey. Hi, Jen. It's Cassie.

[Caller Amy]

Hi, Cassie.

[Caller Nanny]

My husbands interact.

[Caller Amy]

Cassie.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 2]

Cassie came out to the Atlanta guy without a shirt promotion a couple weeks ago.

[Bert]

Oh, sidebar. How did that go?

[Podcast Host 2]

It was good.

[Bert]

Yeah?

[Caller Karen]

Yeah. Good to get out. But my husband started potty training Eli at 16 months. We started because my daughter was done at 18 months. So we started at 16 months. And what we did is in the morning, you get them up and put them on the toilet. We did it. Basically every two hours they go. And then he gets. We have a gumball machine and Eli's 20. Eli's 20. He's two years old.

[Caller Amy]

He'll be.

[Caller Karen]

Yeah, he's exactly two years old. And I just trip train him every two hours. Now that I'm at home and not teaching, I take him every two hours and put him on the potty and I have the stickers. That's a good idea. But you know what? Boys take longer than girls. Do not go back to diapers, Bert.

[Bert]

Do not go back the other way.

[Caller Karen]

Don't go back.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Caller Karen]

You gotta get rid of what you used to do and keep trying to go forward and do the pull ups. And it's gonna take longer than two weeks.

[Bert]

Girls.

[Caller Karen]

Could be maybe two weeks. And let him see you go.

[Bert]

Yeah, I've done that deal.

[Caller Karen]

And not in the shower.

[Bert]

Yeah. Stacy and I have argued that point, like for a while there. She wanted me to show him number one and number two, and that's where I drew the line. I'm like, that's crazy talk right there. No. No one is sitting there pooping in front of their kid.

[Podcast Host 2]

Number one was okay with you?

[Bert]

Yeah, that's fine. But I'm not. Yeah. What are you. She's out of her mind.

[Podcast Host 1]

Disgusting.

[Bert]

She told me she called defects a little gross. It is a little gross. And I thought for sure I wouldn't get. I got. When we started talking about months ago, people were emailing me going, yeah, that's why I did it. No problem. I pooped in front of my kid. And I think you're all nuts. I think you're all crazy.

[Podcast Host 1]

Good morning.

[Bert]

All the hits. Q100.

[Caller Amy]

Good morning.

[Caller Nanny]

Okay, I know this sounds funny, but I'm a nanny and I have a six year old girl and that's a four year old boy. And when I was going through potty training, we used cereal and we would let him pick out his cereal and we would say, okay, you got to shoot the target. So it was fun. So he had. After he got done, he got to see how many he dunked.

[Bert]

That's kind of a trick shot that right there, though, because he's sitting down on the potty to start out. Right.

[Caller Nanny]

Well, that's the thing, you know, the kids don't realize that. And once I know this sounds great, but once it goes in the potty, it sticks to it.

[Bert]

Got it. So every shot is a. Is a good shot.

[Caller Nanny]

Yeah. And so after he. If he would go like three. I think it was like, three days, he would get a Thomas train, because he was big in his Thomas train. And so at the end, he would go get a Thomas train. But we would. And we would also set a cooking timer, and I did it for 30 minutes when it was the potty, when we had to go do number one. But when it came to number two, we would set it for 50.

[Bert]

So every. Every 20. And every 50 minutes, you were in that bathroom with him?

[Caller Nanny]

Well, when it came to number two, I was in there every 50 minutes.

[Bert]

Wow. Okay.

[Caller Nanny]

So, I mean, it worked for me. But do not go back to the pull up.

[Bert]

Do not go back. Once you start, do not go back. Do not go back to the pull up, back to the pull ups.

[Podcast Host 2]

Here's a question. Once he's on the potty, you know, we were doing this 45 minutes thing. How long. I mean, do kids go every 45 minutes? Or, like, how long do you let him sit there before you know it's not gonna happen?

[Bert]

He's been going every 45 minutes. So it hasn't been like a real big struggle. Like, he gets on there sometimes and he gets distracted. But if you make him look down, that's when he's. Then he goes every 45 minutes. Number one. Number one. He looks down inside the toilet, and that's when he'll start going. But other than that. Yeah, he's just kind of looking around the bathroom.

[Podcast Host 2]

How often do they.

[Bert]

Number two, It's. Well, he's only going once a day, so.

[Podcast Host 2]

But he's on the potty every 45 minutes.

[Bert]

Number one to do number one. Right.

[Podcast Host 2]

So you're not forcing him to number two every 45 minutes?

[Bert]

No, you can't say. Yeah, because I'm like, you can't force.

[Podcast Host 2]

You're gonna torture the child, and then he's gonna have a bad number two experience his whole life.

[Bert]

Good morning, Amy.

[Caller Amy]

Hey. I was just calling to say, you know that they say if you force kids, that's the worst thing you can do, because then they're petrified of it. But. And I found that true with my oldest, who will be four this month. But, you know, we tried the. At 18 months because everybody was saying, oh, you should start trying at 18 months. Because she was fascinated with the potty, and it didn't work. It did not work. I had the terrible experience from it. So we had that. We backed off for a little bit, and then we did the bought a big calendar and put it up in the potty in the bathroom. And then she got to put stickers on it. And then we did this fire surprise every couple of days she went without any accidents or whatever. But number two, issue took about a month.

[Bert]

Okay, and how long did you go trying and failing before you decided to go back to the diapers?

[Caller Amy]

Well, the first time we did it for like a month. And then we realized that she just wasn't ready. And then so we backed off. And then for about another month we did the diapers and then we went. And then she came. About a month later, she came to me. She's like, mommy, I need to go potty.

[Bert]

Oh, really?

[Caller Amy]

Okay.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Caller Amy]

So we went. So, I mean, it's just you have to kind of watch your own, you know, with your first kid because from listening to you every morning, it's kind of like with me that your first kid's rotten and my first child is rotten.

[Bert]

Is rotten.

[Caller Amy]

Spoiled, I should say. You know, they get spoiled rotten, boiled, rotten.

[Bert]

I got you.

[Caller Amy]

My oldest is very. So it was kind of like a trial and game era with her that we did with the potty training.

[Bert]

It's like you get such conflicting information. Like on one hand they tell you that once they start, don't go back. But then you get the information also that you can't press them because if you press them, then they're not going to do it. So to me, I'm still confused on how long you go before it's not working out for you before you back off it because you don't want to scar them from. From going to the bathroom, you know, I don't know. Haven't figured out anything.

[Podcast Host 2]

So he's doing the number one at 45 minutes just fine. But the number two thing he hadn't figured out yet.

[Bert]

Number two, he's not. Yeah, he's not telling us. And even number one, he's been having quite like a lot of accidents and stuff when he's in school. So we're just not exact. We still don't know if we should continue doing it or go backwards.

[Podcast Host 2]

And of course, from the birth show listeners, we get 50 from that.

[Bert]

Can you exchange him for a new kid? Two puppies. Hey, you want to trade?

[Podcast Host 1]

No.

[Bert]

No. Hey. The bird show.

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