The Bert Show: "Vault: The Dream That Won't Stop"

Date: March 9, 2026
Main Cast in Episode: Jeff, Jen, Kim, Ashley, Strickland, various co-hosts

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the mysterious and unsettling experience of recurring dreams—or perhaps “dream-like” states—that straddle the line between sleep and waking. The main story centers on Jeff, a cast member, who’s been repeatedly waking up convinced someone is standing over his bed. The segment sparks a broader group discussion on the universality of disturbing nighttime experiences, cultural interpretations, and possible explanations, with input from listeners and fellow show members.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jeff’s Unsettling Experiences

• Jeff shares: Over the last month, he’s had several “freaky” incidents—waking up absolutely sure that “something” is hovering over him—so much so he’s physically swung his arm toward the presence to check if it’s real (01:00).
• The ambiguity: Jeff can’t decide if he’s dreaming or awake during these moments and notes he rarely remembers dreams, making this even more bizarre (01:45, 02:46).
• Connection to a dream: Sometimes the experience is preceded by “weird, bizarre dreams… filled with demons,” but he’s not always frightened (02:18).

Group Reactions & Humor

• Hosts and co-hosts react with their signature blend of alarm, skepticism, and humor, with jokes about Jeff’s wife Jessica “leaning over him” and playful banter about chick-lit novels and “Twilight” (01:52, 03:40).
• Producer Tracy’s story: Brief mention that Tracy believes Jeff’s house could be haunted, though Jeff asserts it’s happened in multiple places (02:31).

Cultural & Book References

• Jen brings in Eat, Pray, Love: In the book, a Balinese medicine man tells the protagonist that dreams about someone watching over you are actually a sign of protection—a “brother” keeping watch (03:34-04:16).
  • Quote (Jen, 04:10): “She specifically had the same dream as you... And in Bali, they would say that it's one of your four brothers that's protecting you, so not to be scared of it.”
• Jeff’s response: Disappointed by the comforting explanation, wishing for something with a bit more edge (04:25).

Listeners’ Calls & Further Experiences

• Strickland: Suggests acknowledging the presence and telling it to go away. Jeff quips, “Are you a Balinese medicine man by any chance?” (05:10, 05:20).
• Ashley: Calls in to share her virtually identical experience, but with more detail—a man in a black trench coat, visible while she’s awake, but unable to move or scream (05:28).
  • Quote (Ashley, 05:47): “I see something. I see it's a black… Or a man that has a black trench coat. And it's an older man.”
• Jen prods Jeff: What does “his man” wear? Jeff describes only colors and an ambiguous sense—“shadows and it’s red and black” (06:07).
• Kim: Also testifies to similar recurring presences, regardless of where she lives, though hers feels more unsettling (06:21).
  • She shares advice from a classmate: Focus on good things or faith-based thoughts, and the bad presence will eventually fade (06:54).

Possible Explanations, Reactions, and Coping

• Emotional tone: The group explores if the fear is truly fear, or just an unsettling feeling because unexpected presences in the bedroom are, by nature, alarming (07:14).
• Jeff clarifies: He doesn’t actually feel full-blown panic or terror, just creeped out (07:24).
• Jen jokes: Sometimes having another person in your bedroom might not be so bad—“If somebody's in your bedroom, it's a good thing” (07:26).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jeff, describing his confusion:
  “I wake up and I'm convinced someone is standing over the bed looking at me. … I actually swing my arm trying to find, touch whatever it is…” (01:00)

• Jen’s Balinese wisdom from “Eat, Pray, Love”:
  “In Bali, they would say that it's one of your four brothers that's protecting you, so not to be scared…” (04:10)

• Ashley's chilling call:
  “It's a man that stands over and watches us. Except for I'm awake, but I can't move and I can't scream…” (05:28)

• Kim’s advice via third party:
  “Just think about good things. … or whatever religion you believe and think about positive things… that things will not hurt you.” (06:54)

• Jeff on the usefulness of faith (tongue-in-cheek):
  “I only like to call on God or Jesus if I need money or help. I don't like to…” (07:35)

Important Timestamps

• 01:00: Jeff introduces his sleep/dream problem
• 03:34: Jen relates it to “Eat, Pray, Love” and Balinese interpretation
• 05:28: Listener Ashley calls with a similar experience
• 06:21–07:14: Kim and Strickland offer perspectives and coping strategies

Tone and Style

The conversation blends low-key creepiness with the show’s trademark warmth and comedy—poking fun at each other while still addressing real and relatable feelings about sleep, dreams, and unexplained nighttime phenomena. Listener input and “real talk” keep the topic grounded, while playful banter and laughter break the tension.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode gives an empathetic, often funny window into the weirdness of nighttime mind games—whether dream, sleep paralysis, or something “else.” The cast and listeners alike reveal that these unsettling experiences are more common than you might think, and while explanations (from science to superstition) abound, sometimes the best remedy is community, humor, and a little perspective.