Vault: The Listeners Are Ready To Walk Out On Work

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – The Listeners Are Ready To Walk Out On Work
March 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode revolves around the question: "If ___ happens at work today, I'm quitting." The Bert Show team (Birch, Jen, and other cast members) take calls from listeners who are ready to walk out over various job frustrations, sparking a mix of comedic and candid discussions about work-life annoyances. The conversation segues into awe-inspiring radio moments where on-air personalities dramatically quit their jobs, replaying memorable audio that shines a light on workplace breaking points.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Listeners’ Job Deal-Breakers

• The segment kicks off with examples of listeners who are "on the edge" at work, sharing what specific things would make them quit on the spot.
• Katie the Teacher’s Head Lice Ultimatum
  • Katie (listener; call dropped, story relayed by Birch): “If one more kid today has head lice, my last day.” [01:02]
  • Hosts’ reaction: Shared stories of classroom lice checks and how humiliating and uncomfortable the experience is, especially for the child singled out.
    • Jen: “And the nurses came around and would go through our scalps... If any kid is caught with lice, then that's the gross kid.” [01:11]

2. Calls from Frustrated Workers

• Chris – The Insurance Agent

  • Chris’ two ultimatums: “If my job doesn't give us more bathroom stalls and more gas money to get to work, I'm just damn quick.” [02:05]
    • Described the unpleasant state of the men's room, the need for more bathroom stalls, and poor etiquette (“people just go to town like they’re at home”).
    • Complains about insufficient gas money from work, despite taking the MARTA line and the office being inconveniently located.
    • Enjoys a four-day workweek (four 10-hr days), but the bathroom situation is pushing him to his limit.
      • Birch: “I would hang on to that job if I were you.” [03:44]
      • Chris: “Yeah, I mean, I'm a, hang on to it. It’s cool. But yeah, just the bathroom thing is just ridiculous.” [03:48]
    • Show banter: Hosts poke fun at Chris’ “first world problem,” noting many would envy his schedule and public transit options.

• Unnamed Callers Who Quit or Hung Up

  • Birch references other callers who dropped off, including a woman who may have quit during the call.
    • “She was actually at work now and she was having an issue with her boss. So it doesn't really count, I don't think... you can't say, well, if my boss is mean to me today, because... it's kind of their job.” [04:23]
    • Discussion around how feeling “done” makes even minor boss issues seem like the final straw.
      • Co-host: “It’s like the person whose relationship ended because their boyfriend parked too close… straw that broke the camel’s back.” [04:58]

3. Epic On-Air Quitting Moments

• Jacksonville DJ Quits on Air (Audio Played)

  • Context: A Jacksonville DJ finds out he’s being let go and chooses to dramatically air his grievances during a live broadcast.
  • Memorable Quotes:
    • “There is nothing worse than managers that think that radio people are like commodities to be used up and thrown away…” [06:28]
    • “Well, here’s your 15 second notice. Kiss my Cox Radio Jacksonville, and especially you, Bill Hendrick and David Israel. You two empty suits will be lucky if this is the only time this happens to you.” [06:56]
    • “Thanks for nothing, rotten Hellcox radio.” [07:12]
  • Hosts’ response: Amusement and admiration for his boldness, but note that DJ Inetta did it better.

• Inetta the Moodsetter (2006 Legendary Quit)

  • Jen plays audio of Inetta quitting on WLX radio in 2006, considered the gold standard for live on-air resignations.
  • Notable Audio:
    • “I REFUSE—to walk around and watch people on my job looking over my shoulder. People lying to me, people talking about me—it’s ridiculous. I can’t take it. I’m not gonna take it. I don’t have to take it.” [08:21]
    • “I just got a raise. After six years, I know I'm qualified… I don’t care if I ever get another job in radio. Period. It does not matter to me.” [09:04]
    • “If you’re confused about what I’m saying, listen very carefully. I quit this bitch.” [09:42]
  • Show accolades: “I Netta the moodsetter really set—set the bar for quitting on the air.” [07:34]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Birch (on final straw moments): “It’s been building up for, you know, 10 months now, 10 weeks now. And there’s one thing, and that’s it. Game over.” [04:59]
• Chris (caller, on his work ultimatums): “If my job doesn’t give us more bathroom stalls and more gas money to get to work, I’m just damn quick.” [02:05]
• Jacksonville DJ quitting: “Well, here’s your 15 second notice. Kiss my Cox Radio Jacksonville...” [06:56]
• Inetta the Moodsetter’s sign off: “If you’re confused about what I’m saying, listen very carefully. I quit this bitch.” [09:42]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:45 – Show begins: “If ___ happens at work today, I’m quitting.” Stories of near-breakers.
• 01:37 – Jen explains what it's like to discover lice as a babysitter.
• 01:49–02:48 – Caller Chris shares his workplace gripes.
• 03:24–03:48 – Chris discusses the four-day workweek.
• 04:22 – Birch recounts callers who nearly quit during their call.
• 05:05–05:10 – Transition to famous on-air quitting stories.
• 05:11–07:12 – Audio from Jacksonville DJ’s dramatic on-air resignation.
• 07:27–09:47 – Audio: Inetta the Moodsetter’s viral quitting moment.

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Podcast Tone & Style

The episode maintains The Bert Show’s signature, casual and humorous approach, balancing listener relatability around job frustrations with light-hearted banter and dramatized radio industry stories. The cast’s authentic reactions and playful jabs at workplace drama add to the entertaining and cathartic feel for listeners who’ve ever dreamed of a workplace walkout.

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Transcript

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[Host (possibly named Birch)]

The Birch Show. We put the question out there. If blank happens at work today, I'm quitting. And I'm bummed because we had one girl on hold named Katie, which she. I don't know if her call dropped or if she hung up, but apparently she's a schoolteacher and there's a bit of a head lice problem.

[Co-host Jen]

Oh, gross.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

So she said if one more kid today.

[Co-host or Guest]

Oh, that's true.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Has head lice. My last day.

[Co-host or Guest]

Oh, did y' all have to check in class? Yes. How embarrassing. Like, we would have to sit at our desk.

[Co-host Jen]

Yes.

[Co-host or Guest]

And the nurses came around and would go through our scalps to try to find lice. And the thing is, like, you're in front of every. And you're in front of everybody else. So if any kid is caught with lice, then that's the gross kid. Dirty kid that has to leave the room.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

And so they make him stand up and walk out. Right there.

[Co-host or Guest]

It's in front of everybody.

[Co-host Jen]

Have you ever seen lice on a kid? I found it once when I was babysitting.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

What does it look like?

[Co-host Jen]

It's just this little white thing. It's hard to tell what it is, but once you find it and then they're everywhere, and then you feel like it's all over you and you get the crawlies. I completely understand why she would quit today.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Well, it's going to make Chris feel like, hey, my job isn't that bad. Hey, Chris. How are you?

[Co-host Jen]

Good.

[Caller Chris]

I'm good, actually. I got two things that my job. If my job doesn't give us more bathroom stalls and more gas money to get to work.

[Co-host or Guest]

Mm.

[Caller Chris]

I'm just damn quick.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Now what? What do you do? For a living. Where you don't have to say specifically where you work.

[Caller Chris]

But I work at this auto insurance company.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Okay.

[Caller Chris]

Springs. And like we have two bathroom stalls and there's people that come in there in the men's room. Specific. Specifically, just blow up the bathroom. Like there's no one else that needs to use the bathroom. They give you something to put down on. On the stall and everything like that. But they, I mean, they just go to town like they're at home.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

It's enough. It's enough to make you quit your job just about. Now I want to go to the other thing you said. You said if they don't give you more money for gas.

[Caller Chris]

Yeah, like why I need. I need a raise. Like, I like the martyr line. Luckily there's one bus that runs up that far, right. And, and it, and it stops maybe like a block and like a half a block from my job. So I take the marta, I don't have a problem. But it's just that, man, I mean, really, come on, like something either we need to like get a, like a buddy ride from the, from the medical center to our job because a lot of people are really complaining. Like half of our office doesn't even come in throughout the entire week.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Now when you sit, when you sit down and have your meeting with the boss today, are you gonna. What order are you gonna.

[Caller Chris]

Actually, I'm not in. I'm not gonna. I'm not coming to work today. We have a four day work week.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Oh, okay.

[Caller Chris]

We work for. We. We work four 10 hour days.

[Co-host Jen]

Well then kind of like that. Yeah, that sounds kind of four days

[Co-host or Guest]

on, three days off.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Yeah. I would hang on to that job if I were you.

[SpinQuest Legal Disclaimer]

That's.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

That's a cool gig.

[Caller Chris]

Yeah, I mean, I'm a. Hang on to it. It's cool. But yeah, just the bathroom thing is just ridiculous.

[Co-host Jen]

You gotta plug your nose and just do it.

[Co-host or Guest]

Tell them to flush and go.

[Co-host Jen]

Flush is like courtesy flush.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Yeah. You get your fresh air on the three days that you're not working.

[Caller Chris]

Right.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Unfortunately for Chris, there's people right now listening angry at him the same way they're angry at Desperate Housewives. Girl, he's got a four day work week. He's on the MARTA line and his biggest problem is that there's people who are stinky in the bathroom and he has a problem. We had another girl on the phone. She hung up too. She may have actually quit during the phone call.

[Co-host Jen]

Really?

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

What happened?

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

She said, yeah, she was actually at work now and she was having an issue with her boss. So it doesn't really count, I don't think if it's, you know, you can't say, well, if my boss is mean to me today, because, you know, technically it's kind of their job.

[Co-host Jen]

They're allowed to be.

[Co-host or Guest]

But I think it's like Jen said earlier, in your mind, you're already ready to go, so you're just fine. Reasons. So if your boss is mean to you today, well, he just may. Or she just may be themselves. But today's the day that. You know what? I can't take this anymore.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

It's like the person whose relationship ended because their boyfriend parked too close to him in the garage.

[Co-host or Guest]

Exactly.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Like, what are you talking about?

[Co-host or Guest]

Straw that broke the camel's back.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

It's been building up for, you know, 10 months now, 10 weeks now. And there's one thing, and that's it. Game over.

[Co-host Jen]

We got to talk about this. Jacksonville.

[Caller Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

We might as well talk about it right now.

[Co-host Jen]

Can we talk about it now?

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Yeah. Do you have the audio?

[Co-host Jen]

Yeah, I've got it right here. This guy, speaking of quitting. Yeah, speaking of quitting. This is a DJ on the radio in Jacksonville and he learned that he was about to get fired before he was fired. And so this is his on air break in Jacksonville.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

All right.

[SpinQuest Legal Disclaimer]

A few minutes ago, I was letting in on a little bit of information that I'm assuming was supposed to be secret, but I was told that I'm going to be let go on Friday after my show. And I have since then. I confirmed it. And you know what? I've decided to just say screw it and give the big middle finger to upper management instead of giving him the opportunity. So first, I want to say thank you to you for making the last four plus years of my life great here in Jacksonville and on Rock 105. I couldn't think of anywhere better to work here in Jacksonville. I'm glad I got to work here during some great times and during some not so great times. And again, thank you, upper management for the not so great times. But in the end, I would not trade any of it for the world. I'm grateful we spent the time together. Now Don Davis and Rob Barr and Jake and the rest of my family here that makes things happen on the air. You guys are the greatest and I wish nothing but the best for all of you. Now onto the problem. There is nothing worse than managers that think that radio people are like commodities to be used up and thrown away with. They're no longer valuable to the shareholders, which, by the way, I've been working at. I've been working without a contract in good faith for the past few months in the hope that something would work out for me and I'd be able to work out something that would benefit both Cox Radio and my family. But obviously that wasn't a priority. Now I find out there's another deal in the works with somebody else and they're only minutes away from handing me my walking papers. Well, here's your 15 second notice. Kiss my Cox Radio Jacksonville, and especially you, Bill Hendrick and David Israel. You two empty suits will be lucky if this is the only time this happens to you. And it's gonna be a bright day in Jacksonville when your desks are emptied and Rad was free of you. Now, this shows you how much they're paying attention, by the way, because they should have been in here by now and if they were really listening to the radio stations and knew what was going on. So thanks for nothing, rotten Hellcox radio.

[Caller Chris]

I am gone. Hey.

[Guest Bretzky]

Hell yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

Bitter, bitter. But you know, there's so many people like so many people right now.

[Co-host Jen]

Go, man.

[Co-host or Guest]

I wish I had the courage to do that because I was about to say before we played that I have wanted to witness somebody making the dramatic exit.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

The meltdown.

[Caller Chris]

Yes.

[Co-host or Guest]

I've never seen the dramatic exit. Yeah. You know where they just like that.

[Co-host Jen]

I will say his isn't as good as Inetta's.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Yeah. I Netta the moodsetter really set.

[Co-host Jen]

Set the bar for quitting on the air.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

I quit this bitch.

[Co-host or Guest]

But he threw names out there.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Yeah. What's that? Yeah. Do you have it?

[Co-host Jen]

Yeah, I got Inetta.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Let's hear a little.

[SpinQuest Legal Disclaimer]

This is.

[Co-host Jen]

And this by the way, 2006 quitting on the air, which I'm sorry, but kicks that Jacksonville guy's butt.

[Host (possibly named Birch)]

And this for example. These are two examples, by the way, just so you know, of radio. When you hear radio personalities on the air one day and then not the next day, this is why letting radio personalities go is generally a secret.

[Co-host Jen]

I love this one.

[Co-host or Guest]

The big station 93 BLX. It is the Gulf coast number one for hip hop and R and B. And now with Ray Ray and Miranda, the home team in the morning. Do it to it. What better song to do it to it. It's our Netta the Move set. And I told you I had a very announcement and here it is. I refuse. I refuse to walk around and watch people on my job looking over my shoulder. People Lying to me, people talking about me. It's ridiculous. It is sad. I can't take it. I'm not gonna take it. I don't have to take it. I'm not a dummy. I know how to find another job. But I refuse to walk around people. You can say what you want to say about me. And if you see me on the street, I'll let you know whatever you want to know. But I refuse. For the last six years, I made $6 an hour. That ain't nothing. I just got a raise. After six years, I know I'm qualified. And after saying this, I don't care if I ever get another job in radio. Period. It does not matter to me. But I never will not be set in the mood at BLX no more. I refuse to refuse to walk around with people that'll speak to you. Hey, Arta, how you doing? But then as soon as you walk by that I will not do it to myself anymore. So if you confused about what I'm saying, listen very carefully. I quit this bitch.

[Guest Bretzky]

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[Host (possibly named Birch)]

Tyler Redick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books.

[Co-host Jen]

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[Host (possibly named Birch)]

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