Vault: This Is The Funniest Call We've Heard From A Cop

Summary

The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: This Is The Funniest Call We've Heard From A Cop

Date: February 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features the Bert Show cast sharing and reacting to a viral 911 emergency call involving a police officer, Edward Sanchez, who—along with his wife—experiences a panic attack after consuming marijuana brownies. The show highlights the hilarity and absurdity of the situation as it unfolds live on call, including the officer's altered mental state, his worry for his and his wife's safety, and memorable exchanges with the dispatcher. The cast provides commentary, peaking at the comedy and irony of the scenario, especially since the caller is a cop himself.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Set-Up and Context [01:30 – 02:11]

• The segment opens as the cast sets the stage for the viral 911 call.
  • The caller is a police officer attempting to conceal his identity from the dispatcher.
  • Both he and his wife have never (or rarely) used marijuana before and experience a bad trip after eating homemade marijuana brownies.
  • The caller becomes convinced that they are dying.

Quote:
“Keep in mind, while this guy is talking, he's a police officer. He's trying to hide that fact, I think, from her.” (Narrator/Commentator, 01:32)

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2. The 911 Call: Escalating Paranoia [02:12 – 07:31]

a. Initial Panic and Details [02:12 – 03:51]

• Edward Sanchez calls 911 for help, stating he and his wife are “overdosing” on marijuana.

Quote:
“Yeah, can you please send rescue? I think I'm having an overdose, that as so as my wife.” (Edward Sanchez, 02:12)

• He is unable to quantify how much marijuana they used or the size of the batch:
  • “We made brownies and I think we're dead. I really do.” (Edward Sanchez, 02:57)

b. Redundant Questions and Slowed Perception of Time [03:23 – 04:51]

• Sanchez repeatedly begs for help.
• He mentions, "Time is going by really, really, really, really slow." (Edward Sanchez, 03:26)
• The dispatcher remains calm, trying to assess threats and gather details.
• Sanchez oscillates when asked about other substances:
  • Denies drinking.
  • Explains his wife takes Vicodin but not today.

c. Bizarre, Memorable Exchanges [05:49 – 07:28]

• The dispatcher asks if there are any animals or weapons in the house.

• Sanchez, in a classic moment indicative of his paranoia and the effects he's feeling, is both forgetful and repetitive with answers.

  • Dispatcher: “Are there any weapons in the house?”
    Sanchez: “You already asked me that.”
    Dispatcher: “And what’d you say?”
    Sanchez: “Yeah. Well, no, there is.” (06:05–06:12)

• He checks the Red Wings hockey game score, wondering if he’s hallucinating:

  • “What's the score in the Red Wings game?...I just want to make sure this isn't some type of, like, hallucination that I'm having.” (Edward Sanchez, 06:48, 06:58)

• The dispatcher, unimpressed:
  “I've got no clue. I don't watch the Red Wings.” (911 Dispatcher, 06:56)

d. Resolution Approaches [07:17–07:31]

• As first responders arrive, Sanchez’s mother-in-law enters, adding another layer of awkwardness.

Quote:
“My mother in law just got here too.” (Edward Sanchez, 07:28)

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3. Cast Reactions and Commentary [07:31 – 08:05]

• The team adds amusing background:
  • It's revealed Sanchez took the marijuana from evidence at his police station.

Quote:
“He took it like you know, out of the police station. My favorite part is when he asked what the score of the Detroit Red Books game is.” (Narrator/Commentator, 07:46)

• They highlight classic moments:
  • The paranoia, confusion, and looped answers around pets, weapons, and the hockey game.

Additional Quote:
“I just want to make sure I'm not hallucinating. Do you have any guns in the house? You already asked me. What was your answer?” (Co-host/Commentator, 07:55)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------------| | 02:12 | "Yeah, can you please send rescue? I think I'm having an overdose that as so as my wife." | Edward Sanchez | | 02:57 | "We made brownies and I think we're dead. I really do." | Edward Sanchez | | 03:26 | "Time is going by really, really, really, really slow." | Edward Sanchez | | 06:05 | "Are there any weapons in the house?...You already asked me that." | Dispatcher / Sanchez | | 06:48 | "What's the score in the Red Wings game?" | Edward Sanchez | | 06:58 | "I just want to make sure this isn't some type of, like, hallucination that I'm having." | Edward Sanchez | | 07:28 | "My mother in law just got here too." | Edward Sanchez |

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:30 – 02:11: Episode context and explanation (Narrator/Commentator and Co-host/Commentator).
• 02:12 – 07:31: Full 911 call playback, featuring Sanchez’s panic and the increasingly absurd conversation with the dispatcher.
• 07:31 – 08:05: Post-call cast reaction and context (the cop using marijuana from evidence).

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Tone & Style

• The episode is lighthearted, with the cast remarking on how “real” and “funny” both the situation and the 911 exchange are.
• The Bert Show leans into the situational irony: a cop, inexperienced with marijuana, calling 911 in a panic, and forgetting basic facts due to his altered state.

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Summary

In this episode, The Bert Show recirculates and reacts to a viral, laugh-out-loud 911 call made by a paranoid police officer who, after sampling evidence (marijuana) from his station, panics and calls for emergency help, firmly convinced he and his wife are dying from their pot brownies. The conversation between the dispatcher and Sanchez offers several comedic high points—most notably his slurred confusion, time distortion, looping worries about reality, and attempts to ground himself with a hockey game score check. The cast wraps up the segment offering context and poking fun at the situation, finding humor in the cop's panic, paranoia, and the overall absurdity of the scenario.

This episode is a comedic highlight for anyone who enjoys human folly, especially as it intersects with law enforcement and the unexpected dangers of edibles.

Transcript

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[911 Dispatcher]

Sunshine on My Mind The Birch Show.

[Narrator/Commentator]

Here's a fun little peek on 1911-operator that gets a call. This is a while ago, and it must be recirculating. Now she gets a call. And keep in mind, while this guy is talking, he's a police officer. He's trying to hide that fact, I think, from her. I didn't listen real closely again yesterday, but I think he's trying to hide that fact from her. And he and his wife decided that they were gonna put some marijuana in their brownies and have a good time. And it's the first time that she's ever done it, and he hasn't done that very often. So he starts to trip. I mean, he starts to think he is about to die.

[911 Dispatcher]

They are freaking out.

[Co-host/Commentator]

He actually says at one point, I think I'm dead.

[Narrator/Commentator]

Yeah. Keep in mind he's high as hell when he makes this call right now to 911.

[911 Dispatcher]

Day one types emergency.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah, can you please send rescue? I think I'm having an overdose that as so as my wife.

[911 Dispatcher]

Ok, you and your wife?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yes.

[911 Dispatcher]

Overdose of what?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Marijuana, but I don't know if it had something in it. Okay, can you please send rescue?

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay. How old are you?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I'm 28. 29 years old and my wife is 26. Please come.

[911 Dispatcher]

26?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yes, please.

[911 Dispatcher]

Have you guys been drinking also?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

What?

[911 Dispatcher]

Have you guys been drinking today too?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No. That's it?

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No.

[911 Dispatcher]

Is there any weapons in the house?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No. Please come.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, we're on our way. Are you guys like. Do you guys have fever or anything?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No, I'm just. I think we're dying.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, how much did you guys have?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I don't know. We made brownies and I think we're dead. I really do.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, how much did you put in the brownies?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I don't know. I.

[911 Dispatcher]

Was it a bag? Who made the brownies?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

My wife and I did. Cuba, come here.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay. Get hot.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

She's on the living room ground right now.

[911 Dispatcher]

Is she breathing?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

She's barely breathing.

[911 Dispatcher]

Is she awake?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I think so.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, can you look?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Pardon?

[911 Dispatcher]

Can you look?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah, I could feel her. She's laying right down in front of me. Time is going by really, really, really, really slow.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, well, I'm on the phone with you and you don't. Do you know how much of it you bought and put in the brownies?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Pardon?

[911 Dispatcher]

How much did you buy?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I don't. Just please send rescue.

[911 Dispatcher]

They're on the way. But I'm trying to figure out how much you bought and put into the brownies. Sir.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Probably like a quarter ounce total.

[911 Dispatcher]

A quarter ounce total into the brownies. Did you guys eat all the brownies?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah, we did.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, and you ate all of them. But how many? Was it a big batch, a little batch?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

It was a quarter ounce.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, but brownie wise, how many pieces do you guys think you guys had?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I don't know. I probably had like a small chunk. Please come. It's. What time is it?

[911 Dispatcher]

It's 9:37. When did you guys last eat the brownies?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Probably like an hour and a half ago.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, Is your wife still. Is your wife still breathing?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah, she is. She's sitting. She's kneeling down in front of me. Okay, I know we have to wait.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay. And is she Stacy Sanchez?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yes.

[911 Dispatcher]

What's your name?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

My name is Edward.

[911 Dispatcher]

Your Edward Sanchez. Okay, and did you guys have any other sort of drugs you know of?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Pardon?

[911 Dispatcher]

You know, did you guys do anything else today besides marijuana?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No. That's It. But I don't know. What was it? The marijuana? Could have been. There could have been something in the marijuana.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, are you guys any sort of prescription pills? You guys take any sort of other medication?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No, I don't. My wife takes Vicodin, though.

[911 Dispatcher]

And did she take any today?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No, I don't think so.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay. Where's the Vicodin?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

The Vicodin is. I don't. It's in our medicine cabinet.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, but how many? Does she take it on a regular basis? Yeah, how many does she take on a regular basis? Two, four, eight.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I don't know, like, five a day. Please come.

[911 Dispatcher]

She takes about five a day?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah. Are you coming?

[911 Dispatcher]

Yeah. They're on the way and they've been enrolled for two minutes. It's now 9:38.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Okay.

[911 Dispatcher]

She takes about how many? Eight, five a day.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

What's that?

[911 Dispatcher]

How many does she take a day?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

She takes like, I don't know, like, six.

[911 Dispatcher]

Six a day?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Like five a day? I don't know. We got into a car accident in Dearborn Heights last year.

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[911 Dispatcher]

And you don't know how many she's taken today?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay. Is there any animals in the house?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Is there any.

[911 Dispatcher]

What do you mean? Dog, pets.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

I'll put them away for you.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay. Is the front door open?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah, the front door's open. Come here.

[911 Dispatcher]

Porch light on?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Pardon?

[911 Dispatcher]

Is the porch light on?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yes, the porch light is on.

[911 Dispatcher]

Are there any weapons in the house?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

You already asked me that.

[911 Dispatcher]

And what'd you say?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah. Well, no, there is.

[911 Dispatcher]

Where is it?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

It's in my closet.

[911 Dispatcher]

Is that in the back bedroom?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah. In the front bedroom?

[911 Dispatcher]

In the front bedroom?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Commentator]

Okay.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Come on, Ginger. Where's the FD at right now?

[911 Dispatcher]

They're on the way, sir. Do you guys do this on a regular basis?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

No, this is the first time that we've ever done it.

[911 Dispatcher]

And you've never done marijuana before?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah, I have.

[911 Dispatcher]

You have? And you've never had this reaction to it before?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Ever? What's the score in the Red Wings game?

[911 Dispatcher]

What?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

What's the score in the Red Wings game?

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[911 Dispatcher]

I've got no clue. I don't watch the Red Wings.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Okay. I just want to make sure this isn't some type of, like, hallucination that I'm having.

[911 Dispatcher]

Oh. Why? What did the score say?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

3 to 3.

[911 Dispatcher]

What channel is it on?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Channel 2. It's 2 to 2. Huh?

[911 Dispatcher]

It's 2 to 2.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Okay. Your police. Tell your officers they just passed me, okay?

[911 Dispatcher]

They just passed you?

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yeah.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay, but you're up. Okay, well we'll let them know. Okay. Go outside and flag them down. Okay.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Okay. My mother in law just got here too.

[911 Dispatcher]

Okay.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Okay.

[911 Dispatcher]

Alrighty.

[Narrator/Commentator]

His mother in law is here now too. Now the side story on this thing is that he is a cop and he took the evidence off of another case and brought it home and used it for the marijuana.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So he was convinced that there's something in it?

[Narrator/Commentator]

Yeah, he didn't buy it from anybody. He took it like you know, out of the police station. My favorite part is when he asked what the score of the Detroit Red Books game is.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I just want to make sure I'm not hallucinating. Do you have any guns in the house? You already asked me. What was your answer?

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Nah.

[Caller (Edward Sanchez)]

Yes.

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No.

[911 Dispatcher]

No.

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Damn it.

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