The Bert Show – "Vault: This Woman Has A Plan To Get Her Husband To Do Chores"

Podcast by Pionaire Podcasting
Aired: January 28, 2026

Episode Overview

In this candid and funny episode, the Bert Show crew dives into a universal conundrum: how couples tussle over household chores. The conversation is sparked by Amy Sutherland’s book, What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage, which humorously suggests using animal training techniques to get partners to do more around the house. The cast explores these techniques and debates whether they’re realistic, practical, or even fair, while sharing their own candid experiences and listener stories.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing the "Training Your Husband" Idea

• The discussion kicks off with a reference to an article about journalist Amy Sutherland, who used animal training methods on her husband to get him to help more around the house.
• (00:59) Amy Sutherland, a journalist, used animal training techniques learned from covering animal trainers and applied them to her marriage.

“She decided that she’s going to train him like a dog… These same techniques that they use to train animals could actually be used to train my husband.” — Host [B], (00:41)

2. The Three Main Themes from the Book

• The cast breaks down the “top three” principles Sutherland outlines, applying them to everyday couple-dom.

a. Reward Positive Behavior

• When your partner does a chore—even just one sock—give lots of praise.
• (02:14) The cast debates how to praise sincerely, not condescendingly.

“If your mate picks up just one dirty sock without being asked, give him lots of praise.” — Host [B], (02:17)

• Jokes are made about how far you could (or should) take that praise:

“I don’t think the words are as important as you being naked is.” — Host [A], (02:47)

• Sincerity is key; even a simple thank you is noted as valuable.

“If she says, thanks for bringing that stuff upstairs, I am actually like, wow. Like, she noticed that. That’s pretty.” — Host [A], (03:39)

b. Ignore Negatives (Don’t Nag)

• Highlighted as the “least reinforcing scenario.” Don’t offset praise with reminders of everything left undone.
• (04:21) The cast discusses how hard it is to avoid following up praise with nagging.

“Don’t nag about the rest of the filthy laundry still piled on the floor. Trainers call this least reinforcing scenario.” — Host [B], (04:45)

• The word "nag" is dissected as being gendered, though men report feeling nagged, too.

“I had a discussion with someone … about the word nag and how that’s never applied to men. Like that word nag is very like gender.” — Host [C], (05:02) “Jessica applies it to me. … She says, you nag her?” — Host [A], (05:17)

c. Don’t Take It Personally

• Laundry is just laundry, not a measure of love or respect.
• (06:22) The cast tackles why chores feel so personal for some, even though (as the guys argue) it’s not meant that way.

“Laundry is just laundry. Not a symbol of how much your spouse loves you or values your marriage.” — Host [B], (06:22)

• The emotional load is revealed:

“It is interpreted in a personal way… because I feel like I put so much thought and care into the things that I do and the acts of service that I do for him. The fact that it isn’t returned feels like a personal insult…” — Host [C], (07:01)

3. Gender, Roles, and “Tunnel Vision”

• The hosts consider generational shifts: old-school gender roles don’t fit reality, but there’s still legacy tension.
• Men argue their perspective—being “task-oriented” and sometimes having “tunnel vision,” not seeing all that needs doing.

“Women are big picture. Guys are task oriented… If there’s something sitting on the table to go upstairs and I’m going upstairs… I don’t even see the boxes.” — Host [A], (08:44, 09:25)

4. Listener Perspectives: Not Just the Guys!

• (09:30) Callers Wendy and Josh add context:
  • Wendy describes the “Mama Boy” syndrome—some men were raised to expect women to do everything.
  • Josh flips the narrative: he is the neat one, struggling to get his wife to help with chores.

“I’m the one that picks up. I’m the one that washes, you know, cleans… And my wife, I’m fighting with her constantly to get her to pick something up and walk two feet and throw it in the [hamper].” — Listener Josh, (10:07)

5. Rewriting the Rules at Home

• The cast reflects on evolving gender roles and the need for new models of divvying up responsibilities.

“I think it’s a whole generational thing, too… We need a whole new model because it’s not the same as our parents.” — Host [C], (10:33)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “As long as everybody promises not to tell Ryan that I’m going to try to train him like a dog.” — Host [C], (02:06)
• “It still feels good.” — Host [A], (03:32), describing the impact of genuine gratitude
• “She’s been a slob since she was 4 years old. If he’s still a slob in the house now, how is that personal to you?” — Host [D], (06:49)
• “You’ve been with him 65 years.” — Host [A], joking about long relationships, (08:23)
• “Guys, if you see that book laying around the house, you know you’re in the process—start picking stuff up.” — Host [D], (11:13)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:59 – Topic Introduction: Training your spouse with animal training techniques
• 02:17 – Principle 1: Reward positive behavior
• 04:45 – Principle 2: Ignore the negatives and don’t nag
• 06:22 – Principle 3: Don’t take it personally—why it feels so personal
• 08:44 – Men’s “task-oriented” approach and “tunnel vision”
• 09:32 – Listener Wendy: “Mama Boy” syndrome
• 10:07 – Listener Josh: When the husband is the neat one
• 10:33 – Discussion of changing gender roles and generational differences
• 11:07 – Book title and wrap-up

Tone & Takeaways

Energetic and real, with plenty of humor and banter, the cast acknowledges that while Sutherland’s techniques might seem reductive or unfair, there’s some truth to the need for positive reinforcement and less nagging. Both men and women bristle at being “trained”—but most agree that gratitude and open communication go a long way in making cohabitation work.

Book Mentioned:

• What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage by Amy Sutherland

For listeners struggling with chore wars at home, this episode offers both laughs and practical takeaways—reminding everyone that relationship routines are always a work in progress.