The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: Veteran Teachers Give Rookie Teachers Advice
Release Date: February 20, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is dedicated to helping rookie teachers as they step into their first classrooms. With the new school year underway, the hosts open the lines for veteran teachers to share hard-earned advice, funny memories, and practical strategies for surviving and thriving during those all-important first days and weeks. The tone is candid, supportive, occasionally irreverent, and peppered with real classroom wisdom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Importance of the First Week

[02:00 - 04:24]

• First Week Sets the Tone:
  • Host Birch emphasizes, "This first week is critical right here... you got to take control of that class somehow, some way." (02:24)
• Hosts invite veteran teachers (three or more years of experience) to call in with advice for first-year teachers, noting even second-year teachers are still figuring things out.

Advice from Veteran Teachers

1. Lean on Experienced Colleagues

• Caller: Kindergarten Teacher, 8 Years Experience

  • “Don't be afraid to admit that you need help and really rely on those teachers that have been there longer… we were there once too, and it’s really scary and really tough. So I would just say, really use the resources you have at your school.” (04:46)

• Hosts agree, reminding new teachers: Other staff want to help and won’t look down on you for asking questions.

• Notable Analogy

  • Co-host compares it to “A-list celebrities”—the seasoned teachers are "the most cordial and down to earth. It's almost like the cream rises to the top... So I guess what you're saying is the same with the teachers. Don't go in there thinking I already know everything because I'm a first year teacher.” (05:31 - 06:13)

2. Set Boundaries & Standards Immediately

• Caller 2:
  • “Set your standards. In the beginning of the year, the first day. Don’t go in there trying to be anyone’s friend because kids can sniff out a weakling in a New York second... I tell my students, day one, look, I’m not your friend. I don't do friends. Children. I'm too old for that.” (06:31)
• Birch underlines: “Don’t fake it with the teachers, but fake it with your students.” (07:22)
• The group agrees, “Set your boundaries right off the bat.” (07:33)
  • Co-host: “That's why they're like dogs. They can sniff out fear.” (07:46)

3. Be Consistent and Firm

• Caller: Dana (Teacher, 4 Years Experience)

  • “You have to be consistent from day one with your rules. Because a lot of teachers don’t want to get on to anybody on the first day of school. But if you say on day one, if you talk while I'm talking, you're going to get in trouble. And you do it from day one, they're going to follow the rules the whole year.” (08:13)

• Birch reinforces: “You sort of got to be a badass that very first day, right?” (08:32)

• Caller admits being perceived as "too nice" can undermine authority, especially for younger teachers, sharing a personal story of struggling with discipline in early years.

• Effective Consequences

  • For talking out of turn: “If you say, ‘Go to timeout,’ they’re so shocked by it on the first day… it really works. It shocks them so they realize, okay, this lady means business.” (08:57)

4. Don’t Forget to Laugh & Lighten Up

• Caller: Rachel, 15 Years Teaching
  • “Laugh… it's okay… It's just school. Especially if you teach elementary school… You have to lighten up a little that you're at work. And honestly, they're at work too. And you just gotta make the best of the day.” (09:35 - 10:00)

5. Resource Recommendation

• Caller: Tanya, Teacher (4 Years Experience)
  • “Read the book ‘The First Days of School’ by Harry Wong. It gives all the same advice we’re given, plus more specific.”
    (10:05)
• Describes it as concise and very readable in just a couple days.

6. Empathy and Understanding

• Host Birch observes: “The students are as insecure as you are on that first day… but you're an adult. You should be able to handle it better than they do.” (10:27)
• Co-host: “They want you to lead the way... They need a pack leader.” (10:38)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Birch, on asserting classroom control:

  • "Those kids are wily, man. I mean, it's like Darwinism. The strongest will survive for sure." (02:52)

• Caller, on new teacher anxiety:

  • "Don't be afraid to admit that you need help and really rely on those teachers that have been there longer." (04:46)

• Co-host, on fostering authority:

  • "Set your boundaries right off the bat." (07:33)

• Veteran teacher realism:

  • "Don't go in there trying to be anyone's friend because kids can sniff out a weakling in a New York second." (06:31)

• Advice about being strict:

  • “You have to be consistent from day one with your rules…” (08:13)
  • "Lay the hammer down." (09:15)

• Comic Relief & Memories:

  • Birch, on school lunch nostalgia: “For me it was always waiting for pizza day, man. For whatever reason. And looking back at it, that's the worst pizza I ever had in my life.” (11:14)
  • Co-host, on the sensory memory of school: “I always think of those pencil shaving smell. You know, the pencil sharpener on the wall.” (11:06)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:00–04:24: Setting the first-week tone, opening up the phone lines for advice
• 04:25–05:25: First caller — don’t be afraid to ask for help
• 06:29–07:46: Setting standards with students, “not your friend” approach
• 08:11–08:57: Consistency and establishing discipline from day one
• 09:28–10:00: Injecting humor, keeping perspective
• 10:05–10:39: Book recommendation: “The First Days of School” by Harry Wong
• 10:43–11:14: School nostalgia, lighter side to teaching

Episode Takeaways

• Lean on veteran teachers for support, resources, and advice. Don't be afraid to admit what you don’t know.
• Set clear rules and boundaries from day one. Don’t aim to be friends with your students; be consistent and firm.
• Confidence beats insecurity—even if you have to “fake it” in front of students.
• Consistency is key for discipline—make consequences immediate and predictable.
• Lighten up and laugh when needed; don’t let the stress overwhelm you.
• Recommended reading: “The First Days of School” by Harry Wong for practical guidance.
• Remember students are nervous too and look to the teacher for leadership.

This episode offers heartfelt, sometimes blunt, and always practical advice—often with humor—about the realities of managing a classroom, supporting new teachers, and maintaining perspective in a demanding but rewarding profession.