The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: We Created Our Own Termination Emails

Date: January 15, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting | With Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Cast

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show takes a humorous and self-reflective approach to the often-impersonal way companies announce employee departures. Spurred by a recent abrupt one-liner termination email sent at their own radio station, the cast decides to create their own mock termination memos for one another, poking fun at their personalities and quirks. Through a series of fictional—and highly entertaining—"HR emails," the crew lampoons corporate communication and each other, blending satire, inside jokes, and friendly roasts.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Spark: Cold, Corporate Termination Emails

• Common experience: Even unique workplaces like radio stations use generic, vague emails to announce staff departures.
  • Quote: “You get an email from management and it’s just one line basically saying this dude is never allowed back in the building.” – Host 1 (01:03)
• Speculation and confusion: Brief announcements fuel rumors and leave colleagues entirely in the dark about what actually happened.
  • “There’s all sorts of speculation and rumor...nobody still has any idea what’s going on with this guy.” – Host 1 (02:05)

The Idea: Writing Their Own Termination Memos

• Each cast member crafts a faux-termination email for another member, based on an assigned draw.
• Purpose: To poke fun at how corporate and impersonal these notices are, and exaggerate each other’s reputations and legendary office stories.

The Termination Emails – Mock Memos

1. Jeff Dollar (by Host 4)

Timestamps: 03:06 – 04:18

• Allegations:
  • All of Jeff's humor is secretly written by Producer Tracy Peluso.
  • Accused of creative vandalism—filling ventilation with Q100-branded paper wads said to inspire his (nonexistent) creative process.
  • Marked as "paid for nothing but to warm a studio chair and play on his computer."
  • Security codes changed; Jeff banned from building and office supply closet.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Through a comparison of his IM and recordings from the show, it was revealed that producer Tracy Peluso is the source of most of Jeff’s true humor.”
    – Host 4 pretending to be management (03:28)

2. Burt Weiss (by Host 2)

Timestamps: 04:23 – 04:41

• Allegations:
  • Short, cryptic memo: Burt is out, questions go to Fowler.
  • Satirical implication that Burt’s habit of searching for “swinging partners” for himself and his spouse is the real reason for his dismissal.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Burt Weiss is no longer a part of all the hits Q100. ... If you have decided to look for swinging partners for you and your wife, please do it on your own time.”
    – Host 2 pretending to be management (04:25)

3. Jen Hobby (by Host 1)

Timestamps: 04:41 – 05:58

• Allegations:
  • Fired for persistent positivity and being too upbeat, driving staff “to jump out of a window.”
  • Annoying repetitive greetings, thank-you cards, and delivery of baked goods cited as office-wide nuisances.
  • The last straw: Suggesting she read Chicken Soup for the Soul aloud to everyone.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Her eternally upbeat, ever positive, good-natured attitude is driving everybody in the freaking building to jump out of a window.”
    – Host 1 pretending to be management (04:48)
  • “The final straw...was the office-wide email she sent last week in which she offered to verbally read a chapter a day out of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books over the intercom system.”
    – Host 1 (05:24)

4. Melissa Carter (by Host 3)

Timestamps: 06:01 – 08:00

• Allegations:
  • Fired for “radicalism" that becomes a PR nightmare.
  • Details include a huge, celebrity-attended pro–gay marriage sit-in leading to a “candlelight vigil turned out of control blaze.”
  • Hacked Braves’ scoreboard to expose closeted politicians; skipped work for Canadian marriage.
  • Conservative sponsors threaten to pull ads.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Her recent march for marriage on the governor’s mansion is the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. Although always altruistic, her results have proven a...public relations nightmare.”
    – Host 3 as management (06:13)
  • “How they got those photos, we’ll never know.”
    – Host 3 (07:22)

Memorable Moments & Cast Chemistry

• Laughter and riffing throughout, each cast member leaning into the absurdity of their fabricated “scandals.”
• Host 4, after reading his email:
  • “At least we know the reason.” (04:18)
• Host 3:
  • “Yeah, that's a memo I'm talking about.” (08:00)
• Appreciation for the Chicken Soup bit:
  • “I like that Chicken Soup for the Soul idea.” – Host 3 (05:58)
  • “Oh no.” – Host 4 (06:00) in response

Key Timestamps

• 01:03: Cold, impersonal termination emails; context for segment
• 02:18: The suddenness and mystery of staff departures
• 02:46: Rules for the game—each host draws a name for whom to write a memo
• 03:06 to 04:18: Jeff Dollar’s mock termination
• 04:23 to 04:41: Burt Weiss’s to-the-point memo
• 04:41 to 05:58: Jen Hobby’s memo and excessive positivity
• 06:01 to 08:00: The epic tale of Melissa Carter’s activism-led firing
• 08:03: Segment wrap-up: inserting these memos for any future firings

Tone & Style

• Playful, irreverent, and steeped in the cast’s signature self-deprecating humor
• The “memos” parody both corporate HR speak and each individual’s quirks/legends
• Jokes land with warmth and the rapport between the hosts is front and center

Takeaway

Listeners get an inside look at how the cast faces office uncertainty and workplace absurdity—by turning it into a comedic showcase of their personalities and team spirit. This episode is a fun, meta-commentary on workplace culture, office rumors, and the universal discomfort of impersonal company communications.