The Bert Show – Vault: What Did You Believe As A Child That Wasn't True?

Date: December 15, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Jessica, Jeff, Andrea, plus call-in listeners

Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and nostalgic episode, The Bert Show team and their listeners dive into childhood misconceptions—those funny, bizarre, and sometimes embarrassing beliefs we used to hold before growing up revealed the truth. Shared stories range from mispronunciations and misunderstood idioms, to odd parental fibs and the confusion between everyday words. The team, true to form, keeps the conversation genuine and relatable, creating plenty of laughs and “wait, you thought that too?” moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Huddle vs. Cuddle Mix-Up

(01:25–03:15)

• Jessica tells a story about a grown man (around 32 years old) at a party who, instead of saying “huddle up” (as in a football game), shouts “cuddle up!” to a group of guys to tell a secret.
  • Jessica: "He says 32 years old. He says, come on over here, don’t let them listen. Everybody cuddle up." (02:00)
  • Jeff: "He just lost guy points!" (02:10)
• The group jokes about the lifelong confusion between “huddle” (the sports term) and “cuddle” (which is much more intimate), and speculates on how many times this guy invited classmates to a "cuddle" during football games as a kid.

2. Literal Belief in Road Signs

(03:23–03:41)

• Jessica shares the story of Stacy, who reached adulthood genuinely believing deer cross the road at “Deer Crossing” signs because they “look for the sign.”
  • Bert: "Her dad used to tell her... he'd go, oh, we gotta slow down because this is where the deer cross. Cause they look for the sign." (03:40)
  • Jessica: "She was like 21 years old and... Stacy turns around and goes, hey everybody, we gotta slow down." (03:41)

3. Parental Nicknames and Miscommunications

(04:06–04:45)

• Jessica describes how her father called water sprinklers “chooka chookas” based on the noise they made. As a kid, she thought this was the actual term and confused friends at the park by yelling, “Run, chooka chookas!”
  • Jessica: "Her dad used to call the water sprinklers chooka chookas... So she was in the park... She's like, oh, my God, run, chooka chuckas. And her friends are like, I'm sorry, what?" (04:06–04:45)

4. Commonly Misheard or Misspelled Words

(04:47–05:35)

• Bert confesses he thought the word “wheelbarrow” was “wheelbarrel.”
  • Bert: "I thought for the longest time that it was wheelbarrel. B, A, R, R, E, L. And it's not. Do you guys know that wheelbarrow? It's barrow." (04:47)
• Jessica recently discovered that “spitting image” is actually “spit and image.”
  • Jessica: "It's spit and image... That's. I just read it on. It's one of the 50 most misused words in the English language." (05:26)

5. Listener Call-Ins: Hilarious Childhood Beliefs

• Andrea from Las Vegas:
  • Thought there were only 50 stars in the sky, equating the night stars to the number on the American flag. When counting stars while driving, she'd loop after 50, thinking she was double-counting.
    • Andrea: "I always thought there was only 50 stars in the sky because that's how many stars were on the flag... I'd be counting the stars. And whenever I got to, like, 51, I thought I was counting the same star." (05:55)
• Sheree:
  • Mispronounced “valedictorian” as “valid Victorian” well into adulthood, much to her husband’s amusement.
    • Sheree: “In discussing it, I mentioned how boring it was to go see the valid Victorian speak.” (06:31)
    • Bert: "So that's why you weren't oral. 24 years old, valedictorian." (06:57)
• Angela:
  • Discovered at age 34 that “pot” and “weed” refer to the same drug, not two different substances. She learned this while working at a law firm.
    • Angela: “I just learned that pot and weed are the same thing. I have no clue.” (07:06)
    • Andrea: “How after 34 years, did you finally find out?” (07:19)
    • Angela: “I started working for an attorney ... they go, pot. I'm like, but you said weed. And they're like, Angela, it's the same thing.” (07:22)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jessica (on the cuddle/huddle confusion):
  “So we all did it and then cuddled up together. We all, you know, got in the huddle thing and he told us whatever stupid joke was.” (02:13)
• Bert (on “Deer Crossing”):
  “Cause they look for the sign and. And she was like 21 years old and … Stacy turns around and goes, hey, everybody, we gotta slow down.” (03:41)
• Jessica (on the made-up word for sprinklers):
  “Oh, my God, run, chooka chuckas. And her friends are like, I'm sorry, what?” (04:45)
• Bert (on "wheelbarrow" confusion):
  “I thought for the longest time that it was wheelbarrel. B, A, R, R, E, L. And it's not.” (04:47)
• Jessica (on “spit and image”):
  “It's the spit and image. Like, if you're the spit and image, you are the, like, you know, genetic material and the appearance of your mother.” (05:38)
• Sheree (on valid Victorian):
  “I mentioned how boring it was to go see the valid Victorian speak.” (06:31)
• Angela (on pot vs. weed):
  “I just learned that pot and weed are the same thing. I have no clue.” (07:06)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:25 — Jessica’s “cuddle up” party story
• 03:23 — Stacy’s deer crossing sign misconception
• 04:06 — Chooka chooka (sprinkler) childhood nickname
• 04:47 — Wheelbarrow vs. wheelbarrel confusion
• 05:26 — Spit and image vs. spitting image
• 05:55 — Andrea’s 50 stars in the sky story
• 06:31 — Sheree's "valid Victorian"
• 07:06 — Angela discovers pot and weed are the same

Tone and Style

The conversation is spontaneous, friendly, and full of inside jokes and gentle teasing—exactly the kind of banter that makes The Bert Show a comforting morning companion. The hosts create a safe space for “dumb” mistakes, encouraging listeners to laugh at themselves and the quirks of growing up.

Takeaway

Whether you thought deer really followed traffic signs or believed “cuddle up” was a football term, this episode is a hilarious and warm reminder that everyone has their oddball childhood misunderstandings. The laughs are infectious, and the stories will prompt listeners to recall their own.