Vault: What Did You Believe As A Child That Wasn't True?

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: What Did You Believe As A Child That Wasn't True?

Date: December 15, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Jessica, Jeff, Andrea, plus call-in listeners

---

Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and nostalgic episode, The Bert Show team and their listeners dive into childhood misconceptions—those funny, bizarre, and sometimes embarrassing beliefs we used to hold before growing up revealed the truth. Shared stories range from mispronunciations and misunderstood idioms, to odd parental fibs and the confusion between everyday words. The team, true to form, keeps the conversation genuine and relatable, creating plenty of laughs and “wait, you thought that too?” moments.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Huddle vs. Cuddle Mix-Up

(01:25–03:15)

• Jessica tells a story about a grown man (around 32 years old) at a party who, instead of saying “huddle up” (as in a football game), shouts “cuddle up!” to a group of guys to tell a secret.
  • Jessica: "He says 32 years old. He says, come on over here, don’t let them listen. Everybody cuddle up." (02:00)
  • Jeff: "He just lost guy points!" (02:10)
• The group jokes about the lifelong confusion between “huddle” (the sports term) and “cuddle” (which is much more intimate), and speculates on how many times this guy invited classmates to a "cuddle" during football games as a kid.

2. Literal Belief in Road Signs

(03:23–03:41)

• Jessica shares the story of Stacy, who reached adulthood genuinely believing deer cross the road at “Deer Crossing” signs because they “look for the sign.”
  • Bert: "Her dad used to tell her... he'd go, oh, we gotta slow down because this is where the deer cross. Cause they look for the sign." (03:40)
  • Jessica: "She was like 21 years old and... Stacy turns around and goes, hey everybody, we gotta slow down." (03:41)

3. Parental Nicknames and Miscommunications

(04:06–04:45)

• Jessica describes how her father called water sprinklers “chooka chookas” based on the noise they made. As a kid, she thought this was the actual term and confused friends at the park by yelling, “Run, chooka chookas!”
  • Jessica: "Her dad used to call the water sprinklers chooka chookas... So she was in the park... She's like, oh, my God, run, chooka chuckas. And her friends are like, I'm sorry, what?" (04:06–04:45)

4. Commonly Misheard or Misspelled Words

(04:47–05:35)

• Bert confesses he thought the word “wheelbarrow” was “wheelbarrel.”
  • Bert: "I thought for the longest time that it was wheelbarrel. B, A, R, R, E, L. And it's not. Do you guys know that wheelbarrow? It's barrow." (04:47)
• Jessica recently discovered that “spitting image” is actually “spit and image.”
  • Jessica: "It's spit and image... That's. I just read it on. It's one of the 50 most misused words in the English language." (05:26)

5. Listener Call-Ins: Hilarious Childhood Beliefs

• Andrea from Las Vegas:
  • Thought there were only 50 stars in the sky, equating the night stars to the number on the American flag. When counting stars while driving, she'd loop after 50, thinking she was double-counting.
    • Andrea: "I always thought there was only 50 stars in the sky because that's how many stars were on the flag... I'd be counting the stars. And whenever I got to, like, 51, I thought I was counting the same star." (05:55)
• Sheree:
  • Mispronounced “valedictorian” as “valid Victorian” well into adulthood, much to her husband’s amusement.
    • Sheree: “In discussing it, I mentioned how boring it was to go see the valid Victorian speak.” (06:31)
    • Bert: "So that's why you weren't oral. 24 years old, valedictorian." (06:57)
• Angela:
  • Discovered at age 34 that “pot” and “weed” refer to the same drug, not two different substances. She learned this while working at a law firm.
    • Angela: “I just learned that pot and weed are the same thing. I have no clue.” (07:06)
    • Andrea: “How after 34 years, did you finally find out?” (07:19)
    • Angela: “I started working for an attorney ... they go, pot. I'm like, but you said weed. And they're like, Angela, it's the same thing.” (07:22)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jessica (on the cuddle/huddle confusion):
  “So we all did it and then cuddled up together. We all, you know, got in the huddle thing and he told us whatever stupid joke was.” (02:13)
• Bert (on “Deer Crossing”):
  “Cause they look for the sign and. And she was like 21 years old and … Stacy turns around and goes, hey, everybody, we gotta slow down.” (03:41)
• Jessica (on the made-up word for sprinklers):
  “Oh, my God, run, chooka chuckas. And her friends are like, I'm sorry, what?” (04:45)
• Bert (on "wheelbarrow" confusion):
  “I thought for the longest time that it was wheelbarrel. B, A, R, R, E, L. And it's not.” (04:47)
• Jessica (on “spit and image”):
  “It's the spit and image. Like, if you're the spit and image, you are the, like, you know, genetic material and the appearance of your mother.” (05:38)
• Sheree (on valid Victorian):
  “I mentioned how boring it was to go see the valid Victorian speak.” (06:31)
• Angela (on pot vs. weed):
  “I just learned that pot and weed are the same thing. I have no clue.” (07:06)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:25 — Jessica’s “cuddle up” party story
• 03:23 — Stacy’s deer crossing sign misconception
• 04:06 — Chooka chooka (sprinkler) childhood nickname
• 04:47 — Wheelbarrow vs. wheelbarrel confusion
• 05:26 — Spit and image vs. spitting image
• 05:55 — Andrea’s 50 stars in the sky story
• 06:31 — Sheree's "valid Victorian"
• 07:06 — Angela discovers pot and weed are the same

---

Tone and Style

The conversation is spontaneous, friendly, and full of inside jokes and gentle teasing—exactly the kind of banter that makes The Bert Show a comforting morning companion. The hosts create a safe space for “dumb” mistakes, encouraging listeners to laugh at themselves and the quirks of growing up.

---

Takeaway

Whether you thought deer really followed traffic signs or believed “cuddle up” was a football term, this episode is a hilarious and warm reminder that everyone has their oddball childhood misunderstandings. The laughs are infectious, and the stories will prompt listeners to recall their own.

Transcript

[Instacart Announcer]

A PSA from Instacart. It's Sunday, 5pm you had a non stop weekend. You're running on empty and so is your fridge. You're in the trenches of the Sunday scaries. You don't have it in you to go to the store, but this is your reminder. You don't have to. You can get everything you need delivered through Instacart so that you can get what you really need. More time to do whatever you want. Instacart for. For one less Sunday. Scary. We're here. This holiday season. Instacart is bringing magic to the people who make it magic for others. Get delivery and deals on everything you need this season. Whether it's a last minute holiday decor, emergency coverage for the holiday party, or just avoiding going out in the cold, instacart is here. Plus, November 24th to December 23rd is deal month with savings from your favorite retailers and deals on grocery, electronics, beauty, toys and more. Download the Instacart app to get a little magic delivered today.

[Bert]

Hey, the Burt Show.

[Jessica]

You've talked about this before, Bert with. I can't. Oh, no, nevermind. It wasn't. Never mind. Different story. Anyways.

[Bert]

Oh, dude.

[Jessica]

I was about to tell a story about you and Stacy, and then as the story started to form in my head, it has nothing to do with what I'm gonna talk about.

[Jeff]

I have a feeling that Jeff says that to Jessica sometimes. Oh, and remember when. Oh, wait a second.

[Bert]

That wasn't you.

[Instacart Announcer]

It wasn't you.

[Jessica]

So we're out. What was it, Friday night? This weekend? And you know, just hanging out, whatever. And.

[Bert]

I can't wait. You have gripped me.

[Jessica]

This guy said he was telling a story better than I am. And he says at some point during the story, he's gonna tell like a secret that none of the girls could hear. And this is an adult man. He is probably 30 years old, early 30s, and he's an adult man. And he says to all the guys, hey, over here. Because the girls can't hear this. So he calls all the guys.

[Bert]

Oh, women love that. A guy's secret, right?

[Jessica]

And he says, he says 32 years old. He says, come on over here. Don't let him listen. Everybody cuddle up.

[Jeff]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Bert]

Everybody cuddle up.

[Jeff]

He didn't do that.

[Jessica]

Cuddle up.

[Bert]

Everybody cuddle up. He just lost guy points.

[Jessica]

So we all did it and then cuddled up together. We all, you know, got. We got in the huddle thing and he told us whatever stupid joke was.

[Jeff]

Jeff Le's guy Points for cuddling with another man on Friday night.

[Jessica]

And then it ended. And a few minutes later, one of the guys, he comes up to me, he says, did he say cuddle up or huddle up? And we had to do a guy intervention. Cause his entire life he thought what you do at football games was a cuddle.

[Bert]

No, no.

[Jessica]

So like through high school, like how many touch football games do you play as a kid in your neighborhood? He said, come on, everybody over here, cuddle up. Like he did that. Well now, like in gym class, flag football, where they put those stupid things around your waist and you, you know, the flags, you cuddle up.

[Jeff]

Did he say like, let's get in a cuddle?

[Jessica]

No, he said, come on over here. He was telling. He was a little bit. He was a little bit tipsy and he didn't want. It was some stupid joke he was telling it was going to be offensive to women. So he didn't want the women to hear the joke. So he called.

[Jeff]

Well, see that? That's a sign right there. I'm not surprised, because when you do that, okay, girls can't listen to this, so come on over.

[Bert]

So everybody cuddle up.

[Jeff]

Y cuddle up.

[Bert]

And they were.

[Jessica]

I have no issue with that. Because in the atmosphere of the night, him doing the huddle thing was funny. Cause like, they were telling offensive guy jokes. And so the story I was thinking of was Stacy. Remember, she went through most of her adult life thinking that deer. Look for the sign with the running deer on the side of the road.

[Bert]

It says deer crossing.

[Jessica]

And that's where they cross the street.

[Bert]

Yeah, her dad used to tell her that when she was like, you know, five or six, you know, when they were in the car and there'd be a deer crossing sign, he'd go, oh, we gotta slow down because this is where the deer cross. Cause they look for the sign and. And she was like 21 years old and she's in the car with all of her sorority sisters. And Stacy turns around and goes, hey, everybody, we gotta slow down.

[Jessica]

Because, you know, the deer look for.

[Bert]

The sun and then they cross. And all the girls are just like.

[Jessica]

Jessica, I know there's two. I'm sure there's a couple with me that I can't. But Jessica, I know, has one. Her dad used to call the water sprinklers chooka, chookas. Just cause of the name. They made the sound of the 70. Yeah, chooka, chuca, chuca. You know, the little thing. And that comes back. So he used to call them chooka chookas. Just because he'd be like, hey, are you gonna play in the yard? Cause if not, I'm gonna set out the chooka chucka. And so she was in the park one day with her friends, and the little sprinkler heads popped up. She's like, oh, my God, run, chooka chuckas. And her friends are like, I'm sorry, what? They're looking for flying monkeys or something. What's the chugga?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Don't die.

[Jessica]

The chugga chugga. What is a chugga chugga?

[Bert]

I thought for the longest time that it was wheelbarrel. B, A, R, R, E, L. And it's not. Do you guys know that wheelbarrow? It's barrow. Yeah, I only found out, like, a couple of years ago that it was a barrow.

[Instacart Announcer]

Hey.

[Bert]

And you know when you're in the middle of a conversation with somebody and you say that, everybody in the whole bar stops? Did you just say barrel?

[Jessica]

I just learned one the other day. You know the phrase, hey, Melissa, she's the spitting image of her mother. Spell that.

[Bert]

Spitting image.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Well, I mean, since so Southern, I would have, like, done, like, a spi. Ttin apostrophe image.

[Jessica]

It's spit and image.

[Bert]

It is.

[Jessica]

Yep. It's not spitting image. Yep. It's the. That's. I just read it on. It's one of the 50 most misused words in the English language.

[Jeff]

I'd love to know the origin of that, because I still got.

[Jessica]

If I can find that website, I'll find it. But it's like the spit and image. Like, if you're the spit and image, you are the, like, you know, genetic material and the appearance of your mother.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Andrea]

Spit and the image.

[Bert]

Spit and the image.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Bert]

Hey, Andrea, you're on all the hits Q100.

[Andrea]

Hey, guys. I was just. I thought about something funny when you guys were talking about that. I grew up in Las Vegas, and we used to drive to Los Angeles all the time, like, every couple of weekends. And I always thought There was only 50 stars in the sky because that's how many stars were on the flag. And so whenever I would. We would be driving. Whenever we'd be driving, I'd be counting the stars. And whenever I got to, like, 51, I thought I was counting the same star.

[Jessica]

Thanks, Andrea.

[Bert]

Morning. All the hits Q100.

[Andrea]

Hi, this is Sheree.

[Bert]

Hey, Cherie.

[Andrea]

I have one that's probably one of the worst ones you've probably heard yet. And my husband would really appreciate this. When I was 24 or 25. We were preparing to go to my cousin's graduation, and in discussing it, I mentioned how boring it was to go see the valid Victorian speak.

[Bert]

The valid Victorian Victorian.

[Andrea]

And my husband was laughing so hard, he fell off of the couch. I never knew it was valedictorian.

[Bert]

So that's why you weren't oral. 24 years old, valedictorian.

[Andrea]

Valedictorian, Victorian.

[Bert]

Thank you very much. Thank you. 100.

[Andrea]

Okay. 34 years old. I just learned that pot and weed are the same thing. I have no clue.

[Jessica]

You thought it was two separate drugs or what?

[Andrea]

How did you.

[Jeff]

How after 34 years, did you finally find out?

[Andrea]

I started working for an attorney, and we're a criminal defense attorney, so, you know, we would get cases of drug cases, and, you know, they would go, oh, he had weed. And I was like, oh, okay. And then they go, pot. I'm like, but you said weed. And they're like, angela, it's the same thing.

[Jessica]

That's great.

[Instacart Announcer]

You know.

[Bert]

Do you realize how ridiculed you were behind your back the last couple of weeks?

[Andrea]

Oh, yeah.

[Instacart Announcer]

Trust me.

[Bert]

All right, Angela.

[Instacart Announcer]

Thank you.

[Andrea]

All right, bye.

[Bert]

Hey, the Birch Show.

[Kim Pen Holderness]

Hi, this is Kim and Pen Holderness from Laugh Lines. And today we want to talk to you about Boost Mobile.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah, you know, the holidays are full of joy, aren't they? But let's be honest, a little chaos, too. Between family gatherings, travel, and all the shopping, it's easy to forget yourself in the mix.

[Kim Pen Holderness]

Boost Mobile helps make things simple with a 25 unlimited plan giving you unlimited talk, text, and data for just $25 a month. No trade ins, no contracts, no stress, just straightforward savings that keep your wallet feeling very merry and bright.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah, because the holidays are about connecting with the people you love. And Boost Mobile makes that part pretty easy.

[Kim Pen Holderness]

Visit boost mobile.com to start saving.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience lower speeds. Customers will pay $25 per month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

[Instacart Announcer]

Psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable.

[Jessica]

I had joint pain and I couldn't.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Move like I used to.

[Jessica]

I needed relief.

[Instacart Announcer]

I got Cosentyx.

[Bert]

It helped me move better.

[Cosentyx Announcer]

Cosentyx Secukinumab is prescribed for people 2 years of age and older with active psoriatic arthritis. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal, or viral infections. Some were fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough had a vaccine or planned to or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-COSENTIX or cosentix.com.

[Jessica]

Ask your traumatologists about Cosentyx.

[Instacart Announcer]

You know you've reached peak couple energy when your undies match. Meundies Match Me has you both covered literally in super soft, ultra modal undies, socks, PJs and loungewear. Festive prints? Check. Cozy vibes? Double check. And right now, it's deal season. Get up to 50% off site wide for Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Take your couple game to the next level with Meundies Match Me. To get deals up to 50% off, go to meundies.com acast Enter promo code acast that's meundies.com acast code acast.