The Bert Show: "Vault: Who Have You Banned From Seeing Your Kids?" (December 23, 2025)

Main Theme / Purpose

In this episode, the cast of The Bert Show dives into the emotionally-charged topic of setting boundaries around who can or cannot be around their children post-divorce or breakup. Prompted by a story involving Pamela Anderson, the hosts invite listeners to call in with their own experiences of banning certain individuals from their kids' lives and explore the various moral, ethical, and emotional dilemmas that arise.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Pamela Anderson Situation (01:02)

• Overview: Pamela Anderson reportedly banned her ex, Tommy Lee, from bringing his new girlfriend—a former adult film star—around their children.
  • Host Commentary: The hosts point out the apparent contradiction, noting Pamela’s own history with Playboy. "I can pose nude in Playboy, but there's a whole different story if you're doing those movies." (Host 2, 01:15)
• Prompt to Listeners: The show throws out the question: Have you ever banned someone from seeing your kids, and why? What crossed the line?

Caller Stories

1. Theresa—The Hooters Waitress Situation (01:56)

• Story: After divorcing, Theresa's ex-husband starts dating an 18-year-old Hooters waitress (he's mid-30s). He brings their young kids (ages 4 and 6) to bikini contests and makes them wait at tanning salons.
  • "[He] would take the kids to her hot body contest... leave them in the waiting room at the tanning salon so they can go tan. It was so bad." (Theresa, 01:59–02:25)
  • The children thought she was 21, catching her in a lie on a job application for a bikini contest.
  • Relationship ended when the girlfriend left to work at a strip club.
• Host Reactions:
  • "Winner, winner, winner, winner." (Radio Host 3, 02:47)
  • "I'm just picturing him taking your kids by the hand to the wet T-shirt contest." (Radio Host 3, 03:24)
  • Emphasizing the absurdity and poor judgment: "He just thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with it." (Theresa, 03:30)

2. Sarah (Voice Disguised)—Concerns over a Gay Partner (03:58)

• Story: Sarah’s ex-husband is openly gay and brings boyfriends around their two small children (ages 5 and 8), causing confusion and “so many questions.”
  • "I don't have a problem with gay people... but my husband is gay and I do have a problem with him bringing his male friend around our children for the simple fact that that has given them—it has totally confused them." (Sarah, 03:59)
  • She would be comfortable with this only when the kids are "14 or 15."
• Host Response: Recognizes the complexity and challenges of explaining non-traditional relationships to young kids.
  • "That's a tough age to explain." (Radio Host 3, 04:30)

3. Kim—The “Provocative” New Partner (05:08)

• Story: Kim’s ex-husband dates a divorce attorney known for dressing provocatively, making her children uncomfortable (two boys, 8 and 9; one girl, 14). The daughter reports embarrassment due to the clothes (nose ring, midriff tops, no bra).
  • "She dresses very provocatively around my three children… my 14-year-old girl would tell me that she gets embarrassed in public." (Kim, 05:14)
  • Kim tries to draw the line but acknowledges nothing is illegal.
  • "It's maybe not the best judgment, but it's not against the law." (Kim, 06:19)
• Host Insights: Highlights how custody and relationship boundaries are a legal gray area.

4. Laura—The “Other Woman” Banned for Racial Reasons (06:45)

• Story: Laura, a white woman, is married to a Black man whose ex-wife is Black. After they married, the ex-wife banned their child from visiting, citing race and “moral” grounds.
  • "The reason he's not allowed to be around his child is my husband is black and I'm white... When we got married, he was served with papers stating the child was no longer allowed to come over." (Laura, 06:48)
  • The ex-wife reportedly said, "I do not want my children around white women." (Laura, 07:33)
• Host Response: Surprised by the reasons, drawing parallels with earlier stories about confusion and prejudice.
  • "Those things, I wouldn't even, I've never thought that that would be one of the calls that we would have gotten." (Radio Host 3, 08:13)
  • Hosts discuss how deeply-rooted prejudices emerge when situations are close to home.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parental Standards:
  • "How crappy do you feel if you were the woman that Pamela Anderson is deciding?" (Radio Host 3, 01:31)
• Regarding Moral Lines:
  • "Can you not just see her for four days a month and spend time with the kids?" (Theresa, 03:00)
  • "You know, my son's learning...this is a perfect kind of girl to go out with because she's hot...my daughter's learning how to put on the Hooters pantyhose and stuff." (Theresa, 03:00)
• On Complexity of Family Dynamics:
  • "It's complicated, man. They're so complicated." (Radio Host 3, 06:37)
  • "People do things out of spite and don't do things for the best interest of their children." (Laura, 07:57)
• Personal Story—Host’s Experience with Prejudice:
  • "I really want you to think seriously about continuing to do that because if you get married and have children, you will change my bloodline forever." (Radio Host 3, referencing his mother's reaction to his interracial relationship, 09:08)
  • "But when it comes to your own backyard, I guess it's a totally different thing." (Radio Host 3, 09:12)

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Pamela Anderson Topic & Show Prompt: 01:02–01:56
• Theresa’s Call (Hooters/Bikini Contests): 01:56–03:41
• Sarah’s Call (Ex-Husband’s Male Partners): 03:58–05:05
• Kim’s Call (Provocative Divorce Attorney): 05:08–06:37
• Laura’s Call (Racial Reasons for Banning): 06:45–08:12
• Host’s Personal Story about Family Prejudice: 08:43–09:23

Tone & Style

Energetic, conversational, and often humorous—though the subject matter is sensitive, the hosts maintain a blend of empathy, surprise, and occasional sarcasm. They invite candid listener participation and aren’t afraid to poke fun at the absurd or call out hypocrisy.

Summary Takeaways

• Post-divorce boundaries around children are rarely cut and dried—often laced with moral judgment, double standards, and prejudice.
• Callers reflect a spectrum: from concern for what children are exposed to, to outright acts of spite and discrimination.
• Even the most progressive people can have surprising reactions when issues feel personal.
• The stories highlight how legal, social, and emotional factors often clash in the modern family landscape.

The episode is a candid, sometimes uncomfortable look into the private negotiations divorced and blended families face—and the deeply human (and sometimes flawed) reasons behind their choices.