The Bert Show — Vault: Who On The Show Is Most Likely To Cheat On Their Partner?

Date: December 17, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting (The Bert Show Cast: Bert, Jen, Crash, Melissa, Jeff, and others)

Episode Overview

This lively episode centers on a candid, tongue-in-cheek group discussion: "Which Bert Show member is most likely to cheat on their partner… and why?" Framed as a fun, self-deprecating exercise in honesty and listener engagement, the show asks both cast and fans to reflect on the sometimes differing perceptions between how the hosts see themselves versus how listeners view them. Listeners are invited to call in and vote with their reasoning, sparking playful debate, blunt confessions, and spicy banter among the cast.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Concept: Who Would You Trust (or Distrust) with Your Kids — and More

• The episode kicks off with a discussion of perceptions and trust (04:00).
• The morning meeting involved questions like "Which show member would you most trust to watch your kids?"—with answers revealing how differently the cast and listeners might view everyone.

2. Main Question Drawn — Most Likely to Cheat?

• The big question for the day is pulled: "Which morning show member would be most likely to cheat on their spouse? And why?" (06:10)
• The group sets ground rules: It's okay to be offended by the answers, but no one is allowed to get defensive.

3. Hosts’ Honest Self-Assessments & Rapid-Fire Jokes

• Crash immediately volunteers:

  "Yeah, me. Oh, yeah. In a heartbeat."
  — Crash (07:00)

• The group continues the roast: Melissa, Bert, and Jen all jokingly accuse each other (07:30–08:00), with playful ribbing about attire and reputation.
• Crash is often the default suspect, with jokes about drunken mishaps.

4. Listener Calls & Reactions

• Listener Sicily explains her pick—a tie between Bert and Crash, but ultimately Crash takes it due to "drunken stupor":

  "Originally, Bert, I was going to go with you because of the history and your dad and all of that, but you throw Crash in there, and you know what? Hands down, drunken stupor. Crash, more than likely."
  — Sicily (09:20)

• She acknowledges Bert’s commitment despite his “history”:

  "One of the things that I do admire about you, Bert, is your commitment... every time you talk about marriage... you're sticking it out. So proud of you, dude."
  — Sicily (10:00)

• Maureen picks Jen, based on her attractiveness and projecting she might get swept away:

  "Because she's so pretty. And I just know that once somebody's gonna rule her, and then she's gonna be like, okay, I'm going with you."
  — Maureen (11:30)

• The group reacts with laughter and more jokes about Jen and "Mr. T".

• Another caller picks Bert, citing his “holier than thou” attitude about fidelity:

  "Whenever you talk about the possibility of cheating in that whole situation, you're so holier. And they're like, oh, I would never do it... and I just think that you would... not meaning to... and then before you know it, it's too late to turn back."
  — Anonymous female caller (12:20)

• Morning caller accuses Jen, referencing celebrity encounters:

  "You almost did with Ashton. It wasn't Ashton. It was the other dude in Dude, Where’s My Car?... Maybe it was Stifler."
  — Caller (13:50)

• Deborah sums up the “good girl/bad girl” dichotomy for Jen:

  "Because it's the ultimate bad thing. You know, you're from Hobbyville or Hobby Land... got the bad girl trying to come out of the good girl."
  — Deborah (16:30)

5. Hosts’ Honest Reflections on Temptation and Fear

• Bert gets candid about his own self-doubt:

  "It's still the thing that scares me most about my marriage... infidelity on my part, that I would screw up. And maybe that's why I don't."
  — Bert (11:10)

• The group agrees that facing temptations and openly discussing one's fears is healthier than denial.

6. General Consensus

• The audience consensus seems to swing between Bert, Crash, and Jen—with listeners giving colorful and varied reasons.
• The hosts wrap up acknowledging ties: "General consensus is between you and I. Either me or you." (17:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Crash’s self-nomination:

  "Yeah, me. Oh, yeah. In a heartbeat."
  (Crash, 07:00)

• Listener roasting Bert:

  "Not saying you're... the caller said you're holier than thou. I don't see that. But you do have a lot of, like. It, like, puts you on edge when people... you or anyone else in the room starts talking about cheating or whatever. I'm very, very hardcore about it, man. That's how I keep myself in line."
  (Bert & male caller, 14:20)

• Deborah’s “Hobbyville” burn to Jen:

  "I got the bad girl trying to come out of the good girl... One day you're gonna wake up, there’s gonna be color in your world, you’re gonna wanna go..."
  (Deborah, 16:30)

• Hosts confronting their own flaws:

  "Well, I think it's important that you even... that you define that as a fear, you know, Because I think it's more dangerous to ignore that than to face it."
  (Melissa to Bert, 11:15)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 04:00 — Perception vs. reality discussion and setup for the game
• 06:10 — The main question is drawn: who’s most likely to cheat?
• 07:00-08:00 — Quick-fire, in-studio confessions and teasing
• 09:20-10:00 — First caller (Sicily) votes Crash, discusses Bert’s “history”
• 11:10 — Bert discusses his own fears about infidelity
• 11:30 — Maureen claims Jen would cheat “because she’s so pretty”
• 12:20 — Female caller says Bert is “holier than thou” but vulnerable
• 13:50 — A listener references Jen’s celebrity temptation
• 14:20 — Male caller confronts Bert's hardcore stance on cheating
• 16:30 — Deborah gives the “good girl/bad girl” Hobbyville analysis
• 17:40 — Bert and Jen acknowledge they’re the leading suspects
• 18:00 — Segment winds down with everyone owning up to their public perception

Summary and Takeaways

This episode of The Bert Show masterfully blends insightful vulnerability with comedic bravado. Listeners gain a deeper understanding of the cast—flaws, fears, and all—while the playful format invites fans into the conversation. By tackling a “taboo” topic like cheating with openness and humor, the show continues its tradition of authenticity and relatability, leaving listeners entertained and perhaps a bit more reflective about perception, self-control, and honesty.