The Bert Show: Vault – Whose Lying About Their Relationship Origin Story?

Date: January 13, 2026
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Burt, Jen, Shelly, and others)
Theme: Listeners and hosts share the “real” and “fictional” versions of their relationship origin stories, exploring why people sometimes change their “how we met” narratives.

Episode Overview

The Bert Show dives into the universally relatable—and sometimes embarrassing—phenomenon of couples fibbing about how they met. Listeners call in to reveal the honest, sometimes scandalous, and often hilarious origins of their relationships, and the cover stories they tell friends, family, and even their kids. The hosts unpack these stories with their signature candor, humor, and camaraderie.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why People Lie About Their Relationship Origin Stories

• Social Pressures: Many want a romantic or socially acceptable story.
• Stigma or Embarrassment: Meeting via chat lines, strip clubs, or mental institutions isn’t “movie-worthy,” so couples rewrite their origin.
• Consistency Required: Keeping the cover story straight becomes a long-term game.

Notable quote
"Everybody wants the romantic story on how they met. But the truth is, sometimes it's just not that romantic, you know?"
— Burt (01:03)

2. Listener Stories: The Real vs. The Fabricated

a) The Chat Line Reality

• Caller “Carla” describes meeting her husband via a late-night chat line after moving to Georgia.
• The Lie: They say they met at the mall.
• Details: The only people who know the truth are their respective best friends. Even their kids have asked about the origin.

"You've gotta remember. You gotta stick to the story... But, yeah, you can't end up changing it up and say, oh, yeah, we were at a club and met or something. People gonna be like, hey, I'm saying, y' all met at a mall."
— Carla (03:12)

b) The Stripper & the Regular

• Another caller (anonymous, voice disguised) recounts how she was stripping to pay for school and met her boyfriend in the club.
• The Lie: They supposedly met at the bookstore (Borders/Barnes & Noble—their stories don’t perfectly match).
• Honest Reflection: She admits her trust in him is “99.9%,” and they still frequent strip clubs together, though she’s no longer dancing.

"The only glitch is he says that we met at Borders, and I said that we met at Barnes and Noble."
— Caller (05:49)

c) Mental Institution Meeting

• Dropped Call: A couple reportedly met in a mental institution but tell people they met at Piedmont Park.
• Hosts laugh and riff:

"Oh, yeah. You gotta lie about that." — Announcer (06:04)

"There are parts of Piedmont park to make you... think it's immensely [mental], I think I had to finish that." — Shelly (06:08)

d) Love at First Glance (and Creative Truths)

• Caller “Shelly” shares she met her husband when she saw him at a pool hall and knew instantly she’d marry him.
• The Lie: They “just met at a club”—leaving the details vague enough to be technically true.

"That's when you have the conversation. Okay, we're not really lying if we say a club."
— Announcer (06:54)

e) The Jaeger Shot Opener

• Jen (host) tells how her partner’s awkward first line (“You want a shot of Jaeger?”) is omitted from the official story to parents and friends.
• Discussed as proof that good looks can turn any opening line into a “romantic” story.

"If you're good looking, you can get away with saying anything. And all of a sudden it becomes a great line."
— Burt (07:33)

f) Swingers Club Serendipity

• Anonymous caller “Sandy” recounts meeting now-partner at a swing club (while both were partnered elsewhere), then reuniting a year later on Match.com, not realizing their prior connection at first.
• The Lie: They say they met “at a party of a mutual friend.”

"There's a thin line there... We're not really lying. That line always comes up when you're plotting what you're gonna say. Well, but we're not really lying."
— Announcer (09:26)

3. How to Detect a ‘Fake’ Origin Story

• Eye Contact: Couples exchanging looks as they recount “the story.”
• Vague Details: Giving generalized, unembellished accounts (“Oh, we just met at a party/club.”)
• Deflection: Insisting the “real” story is boring or irrelevant.

"Or if you hear the line, 'Oh, the details are too boring. You don't want to hear them,' that means that they can't remember it. Like you met on a chat line in the middle of the damn night."
— Burt (03:58)

Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• Carla on keeping the mall story straight
  “You gotta stick to the story… But, yeah, you can't end up changing it up.” — Carla (03:12)

• Caller on the difficulty of keeping a fake bookstore story straight:
  “He says that we met at Borders, and I said that we met at Barnes and Noble.” — Caller (05:49)

• Hosts’ banter on partial truths:
  “We're not really lying if we say a club.” — Announcer (06:54)

• Jen’s mortifying first line from her partner:
  “You want a shot of Jaeger? … And I knew I was smitten from there on out.” — Jen (07:14)

• On swinging and “mutual friends' parties”:
  “Sure, it was just a party where everybody has sex with everybody else, but it was a party. Leave that out.” — Burt (09:35)

Notable Segments (Timestamps)

• [01:03] – Introduction to the theme: Why people want a better “origin” story.
• [01:20] – Carla shares her chat line story.
• [03:41] – Burt and Shelly discuss how to spot a fake story.
• [04:13] – Anonymous caller (“stripper story”) and the issue with mismatched lies.
• [05:53] – Mental institution origin story (dropped call, hosts riff on it).
• [06:25] – Shelly’s “love at first sight” at a pool hall.
• [07:14] – Jen’s embarrassing real first words with her partner.
• [07:48] – Anonymous “Sandy” shares a swinger club story.
• [09:26] – Honest debate on when a “lie” becomes a version of the truth.

Closing Thoughts

This episode is a fast-paced blend of hilarious, honest, and sometimes uncomfortable realities about “how we met” stories. Whether born from embarrassment, social stigma, or just a desire to impress, almost everyone seems to have a “cover” version of their love life’s beginning. The Bert Show crew and their listeners show that the truth is often messier—but a lot more entertaining—than fiction.