The Bert Show — Vault: Why Do Women Fake The Big O?
Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Episode Date: January 7, 2026
Episode Overview
This episode dives into the nuanced and oft-humorous territory of women faking orgasms in heterosexual relationships. Prompted by global statistics on female orgasm frequency, the cast and listeners unpack societal expectations, communication barriers, and personal anecdotes to explore why women fake it, how long some have done so, and whether (or when) honesty emerges in relationships about sexual satisfaction.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Global Orgasm Statistics & Initial Reactions
(01:35 – 05:05)
- Chris introduces the topic after reading a survey about women's orgasm experiences in various countries. Notably, the frequency of women reporting orgasm "every time" during intercourse is far lower than most men assume.
- Examples from survey:
- Brazil: 22% always, 35% almost always
- Canada: 14% always, 37% almost always
- China: 11% always, 21% almost always
- Italy: 29% always
- Japan: 8% always
- US: 17% always, 31% almost always
- Chris (03:44): “I am just arrogant enough to think that I am engaged in a relationship where my wife is completely satisfied 100% of the time.”
- The cast jokes about male egos and the widespread assumption among men that their partners are always satisfied.
2. Framing the Central Question
(05:10 – 06:36)
- Chris asks listeners: How long have you been in a relationship and gone without having a real orgasm, but still felt compelled to fake it?
- Fiona reframes: “How long have [people in long-term relationships] gone without a real orgasm, and how many times have they faked it?”
3. Causes & Communication Challenges
(06:37 – 09:00)
- Fiona highlights the importance of women knowing and being comfortable with their own bodies.
- Emily and Fiona note that in new relationships, women are more likely to fake orgasms due to insecurity, unfamiliarity, and the desire to protect fragile male egos.
- Emily (07:26): “In the beginning of a relationship with a man, you have to be gentle if you want that relationship to continue.”
- The conversation acknowledges mutual insecurity in the bedroom, though women must often navigate the “massive ego” component.
4. Listener Stories – "Faking It" Experiences
(09:19 – 15:40)
Melody’s Story
- Melody (09:23 – 10:08): “I was in a relationship for two years... I probably had to fake it, like, every single time... I only had an orgasm maybe four times.”
- On why she faked: “It would have hurt his ego if he knew I was faking it. So I had to kind of tone it down, not let him know.”
Heather’s Story
- Heather (10:36 – 12:09): Dated from age 16 to 20, faked it every time over four years.
- Only later, with a new husband, did she truly experience satisfaction.
Maria’s Story
- Maria (12:26 – 14:35): Married 15 years.
- “In the beginning... no faking, no nothing. And right now, I mean, faking 99.9% of the time.”
- Attributed decline to kids, unresolved issues, resentment, and mental exhaustion.
- “There’s no Viagra for women, they said...I’m willing to try something because it’s really frustrating.”
- Both hosts and Maria agree faking it only perpetuates unsatisfying sex, but honesty often leads to resentment or discouragement.
5. Why Faking Continues & Responsibility in Relationships
(14:36 – 16:50)
- Fiona: Both parties share responsibility; women need to feel comfortable speaking up, and men need to be open and patient.
- Chris: “If she’s faking it and faking it, we’re looking at her, she’s having this great time. Then I’m going to continue to do what I did last time.”
- Maria responds that when she does speak up, her partner is discouraged, leading to more issues.
6. Emotional Factors & Societal Pressures
(16:51 – 20:54)
- Emily explains the impact of cultural shame:
- “For a long time we’re told in our lives that sex is bad... then all of a sudden you’re supposed to be free as can be in the bedroom... I just don’t think women make that transition so quickly.”
- The cast suggests lingering emotional issues or resentment can block physical pleasure, regardless of technique.
- Recommendations for seeking sex therapy or couples counseling are discussed if unresolved issues loom large.
7. The Male Perspective & The Question of Faking
(17:41 – 19:25)
- Chris and Mike discuss whether men can always tell the difference and how honesty would be preferable.
- Mike (17:45): “I think it’s personally an honesty issue. Couples need to let each other know...either it’s going to happen, or it’s not.”
- From a male perspective, most claim they’d “rather not have sex at all than have bad sex.”
8. Gendered Messaging About Sexuality
(19:49 – 20:54)
- Emily notes the cultural double standards regarding sexuality and how these impact women’s comfort in expressing needs or desires compared to men.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Chris (03:44): “I am just arrogant enough to think that I am engaged in a relationship where my wife is completely satisfied 100% of the time.”
- Fiona (05:05): “That’s a threat to national security right there.”
- Melody (09:48): “I faked it every time. Academy Award winner, Academy Award winner.”
- Maria (12:41): “In the beginning was much better. No faking, no nothing...and right now, I mean, faking 99.9% of the time.”
- Fiona (13:30): “Women need to be mentally in the zone for it to happen. And if it’s not going to happen, a woman knows. She knows it’s not gonna happen.”
- Chris (15:18): “If she’s faking it and faking it, we’re looking at her...she’s having this great time. Then I’m going to continue to do what I did last time.”
- Emily (19:49): “For a long time we’re told in our lives that sex is bad...then all of a sudden you get married...and you’re supposed to be this wild sexual being.”
- Mike (17:45): “I think it’s personally an honesty issue...”
Timestamps by Segment
- 01:35 — Launch of topic; international orgasm survey results
- 03:44 — Chris on male denial and relationship satisfaction assumptions
- 05:10 — Framing the listener question about faking orgasms in long-term relationships
- 06:36 — Discussion on women’s comfort with their bodies and honesty
- 07:26 — Why faking happens more often at the start of relationships
- 09:23 — Melody: Two years, almost always faked
- 10:36 — Heather: Four years, always faked
- 12:26 — Maria: 15 years, increasing faking over time
- 14:36 — Hosts dissect responsibility and communication pitfalls
- 16:50 — Therapy and relationship coaching suggested
- 17:41 — Mike: Honesty and collaboration in the bedroom
- 19:49 — Emily: Societal messages and the challenge for women
Summary Takeaways
- Most men overestimate their female partner’s sexual satisfaction.
- Faking orgasms is common, especially at the start of relationships or when emotional/mental barriers exist.
- Mutual insecurity, egos, and communication problems are barriers to genuine intimacy.
- Sustained dishonesty perpetuates “bad sex” and erodes satisfaction on both sides.
- Society shapes views: Women must overcome years of negative messaging to feel sexually liberated and honest.
- Both partners have a role: Women must be comfortable expressing needs, while men must be receptive and patient.
Episode Tone: Open, self-deprecating, at times cheeky and irreverent, yet rooted in authentic listener experiences and genuine yearning for improved honesty and connection in relationships.