🚗 “Why Elon should sell” — The Tesla solution. Boston Celtics’ fine print. Fashion coffee chains

Summary

The Best One Yet – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Best One Yet

Hosts: Nick Martell & Jack Crivici-Kramer (Nick & Jack Studios)

Episode: 🚗 “Why Elon should sell” — The Tesla solution. Boston Celtics’ fine print. Fashion coffee chains

Date: March 24, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively, fast-paced episode, Nick and Jack break down three big stories at the intersection of business and pop culture: Tesla's brand crisis and a radical potential fix, the Boston Celtics' record-breaking sale laced with a surprising catch, and the curious rise of fashion-house coffee chains. Throughout, the hosts offer sharp insights, memorable banter, and their signature "takeaway" analysis, all peppered with humor and firsthand anecdotes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tesla’s Brand Crisis & The “Elon Solution”

[05:54–10:53]

• The Situation: Tesla is currently the worst performing stock in the S&P 500, with sales in China and Europe down 50%. Its highly anticipated Cybertruck was massively recalled, and a record number of owners are trading in their cars.

  • “Tesla is officially the worst performing stock in The S&P 500 so far this year.” (Nick, 05:54)
  • “In the news headlines, Tesla's getting totaled... Tesla is going through the worst period in the history of the car.” (Nick, 08:01)
  • “Tesla owners are trading in their Teslas... at record rates, we're talking three times higher rates than before the election.” (Nick, 08:39)

• Elon’s Pep Rally: Elon Musk hosted an upbeat all-hands event for employees, urging belief in Tesla’s future via AI and humanoid robots.

  • “Elon is so bullish right now on Tesla. He even asked employees to not sell their shares.” (Nick, 07:08)
  • Audio Clip: “We work together in a way that allows us to ask the hard questions. This is the product that will retire fossil fuels.” (Tesla all-hands, 07:22)

• Disconnect Between Image and Reality: Despite Musk’s optimism, actual company performance is deeply troubling. Even politically progressive early adopters are abandoning the brand due to negative association with Musk.

  • “Progressives who tend to buy Teslas, don't want them anymore.” (Nick, 08:33)

• The Takeaway:

  • Nick & Jack’s Solution: The only path to save Tesla’s brand is for Elon Musk to fully sell his Tesla shares:
    • “The only way to fix Tesla's brand crisis is if Elon sells all his Tesla stock.” (Jack, 09:34)
    • “Whether Elon is CEO or not doesn't really matter. If Elon owns the stock, then he is part of the brand.” (Nick, 10:12)
  • Precedent: Elon left PayPal after selling his stock—he could do the same with Tesla, then move on to his passion projects (e.g., Mars).

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2. Boston Celtics’ Record-Breaking Sale (and Fine Print Surprise)

[10:53–15:51]

• Historic Sale: The NBA’s Boston Celtics sold for $7.3 billion, topping the sale price for any North American sports team.

  • “Last week, the biggest sale in North American sports history went down. The Boston Celtics sold for 7 billion bucks.” (Jack, 11:03)

• The Catch: The sale did NOT include rights to the team's arena (TD Garden), which is still owned by the Boston Bruins (NHL), nor will the buyer get front office control until 2028.

  • “This deal to buy the sell doesn't include the arena.” (Jack, 13:00)
  • “Not owning the arena is a huge deal economically. Real estate is how pro sports teams make the most money.” (Jack, 13:34)
  • “The Celtics are one of the least profitable teams in the NBA... they're beating the Knicks, but they're losing in the spreadsheets, man.” (Nick, 14:36)

• The Takeaway:

  • Sports Teams as Collectibles, Not Businesses: Pro sports franchises’ value isn’t tied to profitability but scarcity and cultural influence.
    • “Sports teams aren't businesses. They're collector's items.” (Jack, 15:10)
    • “Most people buy things looking for profit or a return. But sometimes people buy things just for the power it gives them.” (Jack, 15:32)

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3. Fashion-House Coffee Shops: “Never Be Selling”

[18:05–21:56]

• Trend Watch: Luxury and mid-tier fashion brands—including Ralph Lauren, Gucci, Prada, Fendi, Coach, and even Zara—are opening branded coffee shops around the world.

  • “Fashion houses are launching coffee chains because the best salesmen don't sell.” (Jack, 18:12)
  • “I discovered Ralph's Coffee—a coffee chain with two dozen locations.” (Nick, 18:45)

• Strategy: The coffee shops are stand-alone brand gateways, not attached to retail stores, with themed décor and branded drinks. Their effect is to introduce consumers to the brand “ethos” at a much lower price-point than the core products.

  • “These coffee chains are the corporate equivalent of a handshake or an embrace.” (Jack, 20:26)
  • “You can’t afford a $10,000 Gucci bag, but you can afford the $10 Gucci latte... you understand Gucci’s style without actually owning Gucci.” (Nick, 20:34-20:50)

• The Takeaway:

  • "Never Be Selling": The most effective brand introductions may come from not overtly selling at all.
    • “What fashion coffee houses prove is that maybe it's better to never be selling.” (Jack, 21:26)
    • “The very fact that there is no selling involved, ironically, could sell you on the brand. It's an overlooked way to sell something. Never be selling.” (Jack & Nick, 21:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Nick’s Financial Poem for Jack’s Baby Son

  • “Jack, your son has arrived. He's a shining little beauty. But can we talk financial planning for this charming little cutie?... I'm hooking up your son with a 529.” (Nick, 01:53)
  • “This boy's future is gonna be built on a foundation of financial responsibility.” (Jack, 03:06)
  • Memorable banter and real congratulations for Jack’s month-old son Oakley, including Nick gifting Crocs stock in a 529 college plan.

• Tesla Story in a Nutshell

  • “Sell the company now.” (Nick, 06:08)
  • “Hang onto your stock. It was quite a pep rally to boost the morale of employees.” (Jack, 07:13)

• On the Celtics Sale:

  • “They're winning games, but they're not winning income statements. Yeah, they're beating the Knicks, but they're losing in the spreadsheets, man.” (Nick, 14:36)

• On Fashion Coffee:

  • “Stella McCartney, she's the new Starbuck.” (Nick, 19:56)
  • “Cappuccinos, so hot right now.” (Jack, 20:02)
  • “It's me. I'm Gucci. Nice to meet you. Let's talk in a few years.” (Nick, 20:59)

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Important Timestamps

• Tesla Crisis & “Elon Solution”: 05:54–10:53
• Boston Celtics Sale & Fine Print: 10:53–15:51
• Fashion Coffee Chains (“Never Be Selling”): 18:05–21:56
• Memorable Banter / Financial Poem: 01:40–03:19

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The Pod’s "Big Takeaways":

• Tesla: Only way to fix Tesla’s brand crisis? Elon selling all his stock.
• Celtics: Sports teams aren’t valued as businesses—but as scarce, power-bestowing collector’s items.
• Fashion Coffee: The best way to sell is to never appear to be selling: “Never be selling.”

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Additional Quick News Bites

• IPO Market is Heating Up: StubHub, Klarna, and Hinge Health are all filing to go public. (22:40–23:00)
• JPMorgan Chase’s DEI programs now called DOI (“Diversity, Opportunity, Inclusion”) to emphasize opportunity over outcomes. (23:00–23:17)
• World Happiness Report: Finland is #1 for the 8th year; US drops to 24th. (23:17–23:51)

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Tone & Style

• Energetic, conversational, loaded with puns and quick-witted analogies.
• Hosts share real-life anecdotes and inject humor into even the most “spreadsheet-y” topics.
• Clear structure: Each story ends with a “takeaway”—a concise, actionable insight.

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For Listeners Who Missed It:

This episode delivers a whirlwind, insight-rich look at three headline-worthy business stories, complete with actionable business lessons and memorable banter. Whether you want to understand how Tesla might turn its brand around, why sports teams sell for billions despite poor profitability, or how luxury brands are using coffee shops as a subtle but potent gateway to customer loyalty, Nick and Jack have distilled the week's best into digestible, high-energy commentary.

Transcript

[A]

This is Nick.

[B]

This is Jack.

[A]

Welcome back. It is Monday, March 24, and today's pod is the best one yet. This. This is a T boy.

[B]

The top three pop business news stories you need to know today.

[A]

Is your tux ready? I'm sorry? Is your tux fitting over there?

[B]

I think I forgot to send it to the dry cleaner.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Jack and I are whipping out our tuxes in one week in Chicago. What are we gonna be doing there, Jack?

[B]

We're going to an awards ceremony.

[A]

We are. The best idea yet got nominated for best business podcast.

[B]

It's very exciting. There's stiff competition. We don't know if we're going to win or not.

[A]

No idea. We've prepared speeches either way.

[B]

The speeches, by the way, I think they're like 30 seconds. That's how much time we got.

[A]

More on that soon. In the meantime, we're celebrating the wins. Thanks for helping us get nominated, Jack. Three stories for today's show. What do we got in the T boy?

[B]

For our first story, Tesla is officially the worst stock in the s and P500 this year. And a record number of Tesla owners are trading in their cars.

[A]

But we think we found the Tesla solution and it's not changing the CEO.

[B]

For our second story, the Boston Celtics sold for a record price for any North American sports franchise.

[A]

But we found one huge problem in the fine print. A flagrant problem.

[B]

And our third and final story. Gucci, H and M and Ralph Lauren. Every fashion brand is launching a coffee chain.

[A]

Jack, why are clothing companies getting into coffee these days?

[B]

Because of our favorite rule about sales. Never be selling but yetis before we hit that wonderful mix of stories.

[A]

Fantastic mix of stories for a Monday, Jack. Wait one sec. I'm checking the calendars here. Happy one month birthday to your new baby boy, man. Thank you.

[B]

Oakley was born one month and one day ago.

[A]

Now, Jack, in honor of your baby's one month birthday, I happen to have prepared a poem for him.

[B]

You haven't. Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's a financial poem.

[B]

All right. I can't wait.

[A]

All right, here we go. Here we go. Jack, your son has arrived. He's a shining little beauty. But can we talk financial planning for this charming little cutie? Because in this economy, the price of school hit all time highs. Gonna have to sell that bitcoin when the college bills fly. So I came up with the plan during your paternity vacation. A financial strategy. That's the ultimate solution. I spoke to three accountants and they say my plan. Super fine. I'm hooking up your son with a 529.

A 529 plan. It's an education strategy. It lets your money grow tax free completely, as long as you spend it on a university or K12 programs where tuition isn't free. So you put your money in this fund, invest it in some stocks for your son. I bought 10 shares of Crocs so I won't make capital gains if Kroc's stock price grows. That's the advantage of 529 portfolios.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

529S. They don't pay federal or state taxes as long as the proceeds go to qualified school expenses. So hopefully when he graduates, this thing is worth a milli. If your kid don't get a 529, I'd probably just feel silly. Oh, the mic drop. Mic drop. That was insane, dude. Channeling some Kendrick on that.

[B]

This boy's future is gonna be built on a foundation of financial responsibility.

[A]

Congratulations on the one month birthday. You and Alex are doing amazing, Jack.

[B]

Thank you, Nick. I can't wait to play this for Oakley. That was frigging awesome.

[A]

I dropped 10 shares of Crocs in that 529.

[B]

This is Jack. My son Oakley now owns stock at Crocs.

[A]

Jack, let's hit our three stories.

[C]

Fifteen years before this song, two boys from the northeast met in the dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet. But the best is the norm. Jack. Nick, that's it. I don't even think they need to practice.

[B]

50%.

[C]

That's a fat tip. T boy city on your at list. If you know, you know. Cause we read to go. We can't wait no more.

[B]

So just start the show.

[C]

Start the show.

[A]

Start the show. First a quick word from our sponsor.

[B]

Now a quick break switching topics to one of our favorite sponsors, Vital proteins.

[A]

Now, Jack, my mom does not use most of the products we promote. She's not building a website. She's not downloading a stock trading app.

[B]

No, she's not.

[A]

But she did call me this weekend and here's what she said. She said, I. I need to know the promo code for your collagen peptide sponsor because I just bought more of it.

[B]

It was vital proteins and their no sugar added collagen peptide products are delicious. Especially the new 30 gram protein shake.

[A]

Now I don't know if my mom's into the taste or the health benefits or she's trying to get jacked, but she's got healthy hair, skin, nails and joints right now.

[B]

Dude, I'd say it's all of them.

[A]

So yetis.

[B]

Go to www.vitalproteins.com to learn more and where to buy. Get 20% off your next order by entering promo code T Boy at checkout. Framer.

[A]

Yeah, it is the first website we ever built. Our MySpace page. Yeah, we were just young enough, right Jack?

[B]

Or old enough Nick. I still remember you could give your MySpace page a soundtrack. Music started playing when someone visited the webpage.

[A]

Blink 182, the official music of young Jack. But Bassies, we built a website today we'd use Framer because they focused on the small things.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

That's framer.com design and use promo code.

[A]

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For our first story. Tesla is officially the worst performing stock in The S&P 500 so far this year.

[B]

So we listened to Elon's All Hands event last week and we have one idea to save the company.

[A]

Sell the company now. Yetis. Last week Elon Musk took the stage in Austin, Texas to address the company's employees of Tesla. And in a surprise All Hands meeting.

[B]

We listened to the whole thing and it was all rosy.

[A]

Yeah, it sounded pretty good, pretty positive, pretty fun actually.

[B]

And it is true, Tesla has a lot to boast about. Nick, did you know that the Model Y is the number one selling car model on Earth for the last two years?

[A]

Full disclosure, we've leased a Model Y and understand it's a great car.

[B]

Elon told the Tesla employees that they're entering an age of abundance for all.

[A]

He said that AI and humanoid robots are going to be the key to that abundance.

[B]

Tesla AI and Tesla humanoid robots.

[A]

He then went on to say that the the future is autonomous.

[B]

And he said that in five years autonomous Teslas will be everywhere.

[A]

As Elon pointed out, there is an Entire fleet of 7 million Tesla cars across the world capable of full self Driving.

[B]

And he said last week, someday he's gonna flick on the light switch and make them all self driving.

[A]

Elon is so bullish right now on Tesla. He even asked employees to not sell their shares.

[B]

He literally said, hang onto your stock. It was quite a pep rally to boost the morale of employees.

[A]

Here's a quick clip to give you a sense of this big Tesla event.

[B]

We work together in a way that allows us to ask the hard questions.

This is the product that will retire fossil fuels.

[A]

Now, yetis, Jack and I, on your behalf, listened to the entire Q and A of this meeting and they didn't really ask many hard questions.

[B]

Would you say that, Jack? Here's a hard question they could have asked Elon. If we're trying to retire fossil fuels, why is your boss in the White House doing the opposite?

[A]

Well, they didn't ask tough questions because it was all rosy, it was all positive. It was frankly the most pep rally Tesla all hands we've ever heard.

[B]

On the other hand, in the news headlines, Tesla's getting totaled. Right now.

[A]

Tesla is going through the worst period in the history of the car.

[B]

The Stock is down 50% from its December all time high. It's the worst performing stock in the S&P 500.

[A]

Tesla sales in Europe and China are down 50% so far this year.

[B]

Meanwhile, BYD, its Chinese rival, launched a superior technology last week.

[A]

Yeah, their charger can charge four times faster than Tesla's chargers.

[B]

And cybertruck, it's become a cluster truck.

[A]

Yeah, they just recalled nearly all 46,000 cybertrucks because a panel apparently falls off if you're driving on the highway.

[B]

And here's the worst part, the Tesla trade. In news, progressives who tend to buy Teslas, don't want them anymore.

[A]

That's right. Tesla owners are trading in their Teslas. If they own them at record rates, we're talking three times higher rates than before the election.

[B]

And yes, they've become targets of vandalism too. Yeah, my aunt just bought a Tesla in Austin, Texas. Yeah, Jack, she's afraid it's going to get keyed or worse.

[A]

Well, perfect timing because next week Tesla is actually going to reveal its Q1.

[B]

Sales and wall street expects the biggest shrinkage in Tesla history.

[A]

And that's why we just had this cheerleader style pep rally with Elon Musk at the Tesla All Hands to change the narrative.

[B]

He's trying to convince his employees that the number of cars they sell don't matter anymore because the future is robotics and AI.

[A]

But honestly, the much Bigger narrative change that we're noticing is that Tesla bulls are going reverse on Elon Musk.

[B]

They're getting frustrated that Tesla stock is down and the sales numbers are too.

[A]

So we came up with the solution. Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Tesla?

[B]

The only way to fix Tesla's brand crisis is if Elon sells all his Tesla stock.

[A]

Yetis big question right now. Should Elon make someone else the CEO of Tesla? Well, honestly, we don't think that would make a difference. And we got the proof.

[B]

Elon made someone else the CEO of X and SpaceX. But both of those companies are still perceived by the public as Elon companies.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. Another human being runs those businesses day to day and, you know, makes sure they're still kicking over at SpaceX.

[B]

But since Elon is the biggest shareholder of Both X and SpaceX, he's the boss. They're still his companies.

[A]

So when you add it up, whether Elon is CEO or not doesn't really matter. If Elon owns the stock, then he is part of the brand.

[B]

Now, you might think to yourself, Elon would never sell his Tesla shares.

[A]

Right? A lot of people would point that out, Jack.

[B]

But guess what? He sold his PayPal shares. Another company he co founded.

[A]

True.

[B]

And he used that money to start Tesla.

[A]

So we think Elon could sell his Tesla shares and then use that money to do something he's more excited about. Like Go to Mars.

[B]

That would let Tesla, a fantastic electric car company, go forward without the incredible political baggage it has today. Besties.

[A]

The only way Tesla's brand crisis can be fixed is if Elon sells his Tesla shares.

For our second story, last week, the biggest sale in North American sports history went down. The Boston Celtics sold for 7 billion bucks.

[B]

We read the fine print of the deal over the weekend. We did. And this deal defies logic. Totally. There's one giant thing missing in the purchase.

[A]

But that's exactly the point. All right, Jack, let's look at the roster here. Starting lineup. I got Bill Russell, Larry Bird, Paul Pierce, and some pot bellied Irishman who's scaring kids at the games.

[B]

Oh, you forgot to mention Antoine Walker. Yes, I did.

[A]

That is the Boston Celtics. They're one of the top franchises in all of sports.

[B]

They've retired so many jerseys, they're running out of numbers. Yeah.

[A]

Now, even though that parquet court is a visual crime. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

I kind of like the parquet floor.

[A]

It kind of gives me vertigo. The Boston Celtics have won more championships than any Other team in basketball, the Celtics, have 18.

[B]

The Lakers have 17.

[A]

But here's the news. For $7.3 billion, once the sale is complete, the Boston Celtics are changing hands.

[B]

And this sets a record. It beats the 2023 sale of the Washington Commanders, which sold for $6.1 billion.

[A]

Yeah. At the time, that was the biggest sale paid for any North American sports team.

[B]

Now, first, let's look at the seller. The seller bought the Celtics in 2002 for just $360 million, which looks like pennies, like today.

[A]

I think we could put together that money, like tonight.

[B]

Selling for 7.3 billion means he notched a 16,000% return on 23 years owning the Celtics.

[A]

But, Jack, who's the buyer in this situation of the new Boston Celtics?

[B]

Classic private equity guy, he went to Dartmouth and Wharton.

[A]

His NBA came with an NBA Celtics superfan.

[B]

Bill Simmons doesn't even know how to pronounce this new owner's name.

[A]

He's kind of a private equity guy who came out of nowhere after assembling a team of financial dudes from just outside Boston. But yet, here's what Jack and I found fascinating about the story. We think this private equity guy forgot to have the analysts look at the term sheet because the deal does not.

[B]

Include one of the most important parts of this sports business, the real estate. This deal to buy the sell doesn't include the arena.

[A]

Right, the arena.

[B]

And the arena is the profit, puppy.

[A]

Exactly, Jack. The Boston Celtics do not, in fact, own the TD Garden where they play their games.

[B]

The Boston Bruins do.

[A]

Yeah, so this happens to be the rare case where the ice hockey team is calling the shots on the basketball team.

[B]

The Celtics have to ask the Bruins permission to use the arena.

[A]

Yeah, it's like they gotta call up.

[B]

The goalie if they want to practice.

[A]

Hey, do you guys mind if we get on? You guys still playing? You still skating out there?

[B]

And not owning the arena is a huge deal economically. Real estate is how pro sports teams make the most money.

[A]

Home teams, they only play 41 of their games at home in a given regular season.

[B]

So for a basketball arena, it's got 324 days a year to rent out for other events.

[A]

Yeah, concerts, circuses, professional bull fighting leagues, they all come into town, they all gotta pay to use that arena.

[B]

The TV deal is where they make the most money. But after that, events is where you turn a profit.

[A]

Funny thing there, Jack. Speaking of not making money, the Celtics organization is pretty good at turning pots, gold into pots of nothing.

[B]

I think what you're trying to say is they're expected to lose money this season.

[A]

Get this, Yetis. The Celtics spend $250 million on their payroll and $150 million on the luxury tax to the league.

[B]

It's the highest costs in those two departments in the whole league, and they're probably not going to profit this year.

[A]

So in many respects, the Celtics are one of the least profitable teams in the entire NBA.

[B]

They're winning games, but they're not winning income statements.

[A]

Yeah, they're beating the Knicks, but they're losing in the spreadsheets, man.

[B]

Oh, and to boot, this deal to buy the Celtics doesn't give the new owner front office control until 2028.

[A]

So, Jack, add it all up, and the Boston Celtics are not profitable, they're not gaining front office control for three more years, and they're getting no lucky charms as part of this acquisition deal.

[B]

And yet it sold for a record price. How could that be?

[A]

How you like dem apples?

[B]

We don't.

[A]

We don't like them apples. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at the Boston Celtics?

[B]

Sports teams aren't businesses. They're collector's items.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Jack. And I have said before that pro sports teams are the most scarce asset in our economy.

[B]

Like land, pro sports franchises are a finite resource. There are only 32 in each league.

[A]

Plus, sports teams provide a unique form of influence, a cultural influence, and that's valuable.

[B]

So most people buy things looking for profit or a return. But sometimes people buy things just for the power it gives them.

[A]

So you know what? Next time a good team in a big city comes up for sale, we bet they'll set a record price, too, for these exact same reasons.

[B]

Whether the team makes money or loses money, that's irrelevant to the billionaire that's.

[A]

Going to buy them, because the buyers don't look at teams as businesses. They look at them as collector's items. Now, a quick word from our sponsor.

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[B]

Yeah. One thing they don't tell you when you become parents, you can't use Uber and Lyft anymore. You gotta bring your own car seats.

[A]

Jack, there's a reason they call Christmas debt miss.

[B]

Or at least your teacher did growing up.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

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[A]

You know, Yeti's in my family, we go around the table and we vent about which stock we all wish we'd bought last year.

[B]

Nick and my family, we play flag football. And the losing team has to wear a suit to dinner.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

One more tradition we have over the holidays, Jack.

[A]

A therapy session. I do the week between Christmas and New Year's.

[B]

The holidays can be great or they can be stressful. Yeah, you're looking forward to next year. Again, that can be great. Or they can cause anxiety.

[A]

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Getting it out.

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[A]

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For our third and final story, the hottest new trend in fashion isn't fashion at all. It's actually coffee shops.

[B]

From Gucci to Zara, fashion houses are launching coffee chains because the best salesmen don't sell.

[A]

No, they don't. But, Jack, you know I'm not a coffee guy, but last time I was in the city, met up with a few friends at a classic coffee shop, 72nd of Madison. Beautiful limestone building. Really, really good.

[B]

The lattes cost you double digits. The place looks like it's been around for 50 years.

[A]

But here's the thing, Jack. It Actually has only been around for nine years. It's not classic, and it's owned by Ralph Lauren. The apparel company?

[B]

That's right. Nick's Boots on the ground reporting discovered Ralph's Coffee. A coffee chain with two dozen locations.

[A]

Yeah, they're in New York, Hong Kong, Paris. They got the next one opening up in Bangkok soon. I've been going for years. And they roast a pretty good bean. Coming from a guy who doesn't drink coffee.

[B]

It's called Ralph's because it's owned by Ralph Lawrence, the clothing company.

[A]

Clothing company's doing coffee? The teddy bear is basically roasting the beans.

[B]

Two surprising things about Ralph's Coffee. First, most of them are not located inside bigger Ralph Lauren clothing stores.

[A]

And their second strategic move, the branding. All the colors are green and white inside. Not typical Ralph Lauren blue and red. So, Jack, if you were to walk into a Ralph's and order a Ralph a Chino, you might not realize that it's actually the same company as the polo shirt.

[B]

But it's not just Ralph's.

[A]

No.

[B]

We noticed. Every fashion house seems to be launching a low key coffee chain.

[A]

Get this. Yetis, Fendi, Cafe, Gucci, Cafe Prada. They're doing pastries right now.

[B]

Each of those luxury houses has six or more coffee shops.

[A]

Coach. They're even opening a whole coffee shop in Texas. Oh, it's their fifth coffee shop. That's a chain.

[B]

You can order a mugatu macchiatu at these places.

[A]

Yeah, Burberry's the new barista. Stella McCartney, she's the new Starbuck.

[B]

I know that hot foamy latte makes me gassy.

[A]

Cappuccinos, so hot right now.

[B]

But it's not just high fashion either. Nick and I discovered that Zara also opened some coffee shops over in Spain.

[A]

Pretty sure their espressos cost more than the cute tops over at Zara.

[B]

So why is fashion across the price spectrum side hustling with subtle coffee chains?

[A]

Well, basically, we think the strategy here is the introduction to the brand.

[B]

These coffee chains are the corporate equivalent of a handshake or an embrace.

[A]

You can't afford a $10,000 Gucci bag, but you can afford the $10 Gucci lattes. And that way you kind of get to know Gucci.

[B]

Because Gucci chooses the tiles, the tables, the napkins, the cups. The coffee shop is your introduction to how Gucci thinks.

[A]

So now you've met Gucci, you understand Gucci's style without actually owning Gucci.

[B]

It's quite a long term marketing bet. It is. Yeah. These are seeds the brands are planting, hoping that someday it blossoms into a splurge at their store.

[A]

It's me. I'm Gucci. Nice to meet you. Let's talk in a few years. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies in fashion with coffee chains?

[B]

Never be selling.

[A]

Can you say that one more time?

[B]

To be clear, Jack, never be selling.

[A]

Yetis, the number one rule in sales is A, B, C, Always be closing. As in always be closing a sale.

[B]

And we know how important Sales houses. Yeah, it's part of our role as a co founder.

[A]

But what fashion coffee houses prove is that maybe it's better to never be selling.

[B]

That's why Gucci Coffee doesn't sell Gucci bags.

[A]

You experience what the Gucci brand stands for, but not what the Gucci brand literally sells.

[B]

At no point are they pitching you on Gucci bags or Gucci shoes. They're just selling you Gucci coffee.

[A]

The very fact that there is no selling involved, ironically, could sell you on the brand.

[B]

It's an overlooked way to sell something. Never be selling.

[A]

Never be selling.

Jack, could you whip up the takeaways for us?

[B]

To kick off the week, Elon's telling Tesla employees that everything's okay, but the data, the headlines, and the stock say.

[A]

It'S not the only way to fix Tesla's brand crisis. Elon sells his stock for our second story.

[B]

The Boston Celtics sold for a record price, even though it doesn't include the.

[A]

Arena, because sports teams aren't businesses. Sports teams are collector's item.

[B]

And our third and final story. We spotted a trend. Yeah, we did. Fashion houses are opening coffee shops. They're intros to the brands.

[A]

It's a sales strategy that we call never be selling.

[B]

But yetis, this pod's not over yet. Here's what else you need to know today.

[A]

First, the IPO market is IP. Whoa. It is heating up. StubHub just filed to go public. The tickets company is profitable, and they want to be publicly traded.

[B]

Klarna filed the week before the Buy now, pay later firm.

[A]

And Hinge Health, the virtual physical therapy firm, they filed to go public, too.

[B]

New stocks are coming to the market, and we're excited to cover them.

[A]

And second, JPMorgan Chase is renaming its DEI programs as DOI.

[B]

Diversity, opportunity, and Inclusion.

[A]

Yeah, interesting. So they subbed out a vowel here, Jack.

[B]

J.P. morgan said the E always meant equal opportunity for us, not equal outcomes.

[A]

And finally, Finland is once again the happiest country in the world, while the United States happiness fell despite it being.

[B]

12 degrees up there right now and them having no sunlight, somehow Finland is the number one happiest country for the eighth year in a row.

[A]

We got a recount on those fins, please.

[B]

I think it must be the saunas. It must be the saunas.

[A]

The World Happiness Survey also found that the United States fell to its lowest level ever.

[B]

24Th happiness place, politics, election year, inflation. Yeah, Americans are still figuring it out.

[A]

Now time for the best fact yet. This one whipped up by Jack and I. Because this is trivia.

[B]

Trivia. What billion dollar snack brand began as a gift from a man to his wife?

[A]

And as an extra hint, that gift he gave her was specifically based on her horoscope.

[B]

Double hint. Her astrological sign was Pisces. All right, let me add it all.

[A]

Up for you here. So which billion dollar snack food company began as a romantic gesture for a Pisces?

[B]

The answer will reveal it in tomorrow's pod.

[A]

Because that answer is also the subject of our next episode of the Best Idea yet, which we got nominated for.

[B]

An Emmy award for. Sorry, not Emmy. Ambie award.

[A]

Let's just run with Emmy. Don't let the fact checkers deal with that one. Jack.

Yeah, it is. You look fantastic to start the week. Jack, you are glowing over there. And let me just say to you, so hopefully when he graduates, this thing is worth a milli. If your kid don't get a 529, I'd probably just feel silly.

[B]

Are you Lin Manuel Miranda or you're Nick Martel?

[A]

Well, I spoke to three accountants. They say the plan is fine. So I'm hooking up your son with a 529.

[B]

You are? Hamilton. He was the Treasury Secretary. He got financed.

[A]

It all comes full circle. Jack, besties, the best thing you can do to help and support the show. Drop down to give us five stars and a review. And remember to follow us so you get T boy every day.

[B]

Nick and I will see you tomorrow.

[A]

Can't wait.

And before we go, a happy happy birthday to Yeti Camille Gibson down in Denver, who's been listening to T boy for five years and is on a fantastic walk right now.

[B]

Happy birthday to Heather Kayeward from Auburn, New York. She's a clinical IT specialist who is crushing it.

[A]

And Liliana Cervantes is turning 32 years old. Over in the Little Big Town are Reno, Nevada.

[B]

Happy birthday to George Goodfriend who's obsessed with his last name, but it also means a lot of pressure to be a good friend.

[A]

And a happy birthday to Matt Allen in Carson Valley, Nevada. 20 years retired black Hawk helicopter pilot still flying a fixed win.

[B]

Happy birthday to Jeremy Coogle in Silver Spring, Maryland, who's hosting a clementine eating contest for his birthday.

[A]

I can't even open those things. Jack and Kaitlin Schmidt in St. Pete, Florida has got a new fiance and is celebrating a birthday and a big.

[B]

Shout out to Khaled in Kuwait, legendary yeti who's launching a luxury assets exchange platform.

[A]

Congratulations on the launch. Khaled and Kinsio down in Seattle has got a boring business to share. They acquired a marketing agency and they are scaling that thing. I think your goal is to make it not boring. Well put, Jack And Jacqueline Pittenger down in Nashville has got a new job. So we are celebrating your win, Jacqueline.

[B]

And to anyone else celebrating something today, make it a T, boy.

[A]

Celebrate the wins.

This is Jack.

[B]

I apparently own stock of Crocs now because the 529 doesn't switch to Oakley's name until he turns 18.

[A]

Yeah. For benefit of or I believe it's a legal turn.

[B]

If you like the best one yet, you can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus and the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[A]

Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[B]

And before you go, tell us a little bit about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[A]

We want to get to know you.