💻 “MacValue Meal” — Apple’s $599 laptop. Soulja Boy’s AI phone. Iran’s bull case. +Taser Alarm Clock

Summary

The Best One Yet (TBOY) – “MacValue Meal” — Apple’s $599 laptop. Soulja Boy’s AI phone. Iran’s bull case. +Taser Alarm Clock
Hosts: Nick Martell & Jack Crivici-Kramer
Date: March 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers the signature TBOY blend of pop-biz news and analysis, tackling three standout stories:

• Apple’s groundbreaking $599 MacBook Neo (“Mac Value Meal”)
• Soulja Boy’s AI-powered phone line and what it means for enterprise software
• Why stock markets are up despite the war in Iran, examining Wall Street’s “bull case” Plus, a quirky dive into the world of extreme alarm clocks, and fast facts from youth sports to Abercrombie’s comeback.

The conversational tone, punchy analogies, and memorable asides make this a lively and insightful listen.

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Key Segments, Insights, and Notable Moments

[00:32] Extreme Alarm Clocks: Wake Up or Pay Up

• Trend Alert: “Extreme alarm clocks” are exploding in popularity—devices that make snoozing impossible, whether via sound, shock, or financial penalty.
  • The Sonic Boom: Shakes the bedside table like "an earthquake" [01:49].
  • Shock Clock: Literally shocks sleepers with up to 300 volts [01:58].
  • Alarmy: Requires users to solve puzzles or type quotes/math to deactivate [02:03].
  • Nudge Alarm: Demands barcode scanning from across the apartment; fails withdraw $25 and donate to charity [02:20].
  • Wild stat: Over 1 million Americans use these extreme alarms [02:54].
  • Quote: “Extreme Alarms… they are tasering, torturing, and stealing—stealing your money.” – Nick [02:48]
• Fun Fact: Someone lost $999 to an alarm clock by sleeping in [02:39].
• Hosts’ Take: Nick & Jack prefer to “wake you up… with a little razzle dazzle, sprinkle dinkle” – Nick [02:57].

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[05:51] Story 1: Apple’s $599 MacBook Neo - The ‘Mac Value Meal’

• Major Launch: Apple introduces its cheapest laptop ever, the $599 MacBook Neo—the first “Mac Value Meal” [05:51].
  • Specs (per Jack): “13-inch liquid retina display, aluminum body, 1080p camera, touch ID, and two USB ports” [06:41].
  • Catch: No backlit keyboard; uses a smartphone-grade processor (iPhone 16 chip equivalent) [07:08].
• Strategic Context:
  • Apple’s market share: only 24% of U.S. laptops, dwarfed by Dell & HP at over 60% [08:09].
  • Dell & HP forced to raise prices due to RAM shortages; Apple cuts prices instead [08:36].
  • Goal: Make Apple laptops price-competitive for first-time buyers and students [08:43].
• Big Insight: This resembles Tesla’s Model 3/Y “value meal” strategy—accessible pricing that grows the market, but cannibalizes higher-end sales [07:51].
  • Quote: “Value meal products cannibalized at Tesla. We think this laptop could do the same at Apple.” – Jack [10:26].
• Key Takeaway:
  • “Forget the upgrade cycle. We think this cheap laptop will lead to a downgrade cycle.” – Jack [09:06].
  • The Neo is expected to draw existing Apple customers down from pricier models, mirroring Tesla’s market-shifting sequence.

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[10:34] Story 2: Soulja Boy’s AI Phone — When Hype Sells Enterprise Software

• The Stunt: Rapper Soulja Boy becomes “the first rapper to automate his voice with AI” for an official call-in number [10:34], in partnership with startup Bland AI.
  • How it works: Dial 415-480-0000 to talk to an “AI Soulja Boy” that can chat, sing, and riff on everything from song lyrics to Russian literature [12:40].
  • “You want to talk to Soulja Boy about 19th-century Russian literature? Boom. He’s got content for you right there.” – Nick [13:00]
• Backstory:
  • Soulja Boy has a history of firsts: first rapper on YouTube, first to use iPhone (his claim) [11:56-12:07].
  • Was publicly anti-AI “stealing” voices, now embraces licensing his own [13:36-13:50].
• Startup Angle:
  • Bland AI is valued at $350 million, provides B2B AI for call centers [14:08].
  • The spectacle (Soulja Boy’s viral stunt) is really meant to show off the realism of Bland’s technology to enterprise clients.
  • Quote: “To convince skeptics that something will work? Don’t use reason. Use spectacle.” – Jack [15:02]
  • Historical analogy: The “Brooklyn Bridge elephant parade” convinced people of the bridge’s safety (using circus elephants), just like Soulja Boy’s headline-getting demo for AI [14:45-15:07].
• Key Takeaway: The “Soulja Boy phone” is a marketing spectacle designed to prove the AI’s realism for enterprise (i.e., automating call centers), not just a fan product.

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[17:20] Story 3: Why the Stock Market Shrugged at War in Iran

• Headline: Despite the start of war in Iran six days prior, U.S. stock markets are up—not down—and the pod explains why [17:20].
• Context:
  • Investors weigh “bear, bull, and base case” scenarios for uncertainty moments [21:08].
  • Bull Case: If regime change leads to Iran becoming a democracy and trading partner, markets soar (though “don't hold your breath”—rare in U.S. history) [20:00-20:33].
  • Base Case (most likely): Some leadership change in Iran, U.S. able to exit after degrading threats, but the broader regime/government remains (Venezuela-like outcome) [21:41].
  • Bear Case: Protracted conflict, high U.S. costs (Afghanistan/Iraq precedent) [21:15].
  • Current pricing reflects the “regime change lite” scenario.
• Perceptions vs. Reality:
  • Iran is “perceived” as merely a desert oil state, but in “reality” has deep education, innovation, over 90 million skilled people, and huge natural resources [18:39-19:08].
• Quote: “Investors are thinking regime change, like—light.” – Nick [22:17].
• Key Takeaway: Markets are responding to the likely scenario of a government head change but continued long-term Iranian institutions, expecting neither catastrophe nor miracle—just “regime change light.”

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[23:10] Rapid-Fire Bonus News / Memorable Moments

• Abercrombie & Fitch: 13th straight quarter of sales growth, driven by Millennials now buying clothes for their kids [23:10].
  • “Millennials who once wore Abercrombie's cargo shorts are now buying Fitch for their kids.” – Jack [23:23].
• Crypto Legislation: President supports a new “yield” bill for stablecoins; stocks for Robinhood & Coinbase jump [23:35].
  • Could threaten conventional banks. [23:48]
• Michael Jordan in NASCAR: His 23XI team’s driver Tyler Reddick wins the first three NASCAR races of the season—a record [24:05].
  • “It’s time to start making a documentary about Michael Jordan’s last dance inside his car.” – Jack [24:19].

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[24:36] Best Fact Yet: Little League World Series Trivia

• Trivia: Which country has the most Little League World Series championships?
  • 1st: USA (40 of 77)
  • 2nd: Taiwan
  • 3rd: Japan
• Birthday Connection: Coach Jack is now equipped with a new glove for his son’s tee-ball team.
• “No pressure, Wilder. No pressure. Podson on the Little League tee. You’re going to be great no matter what.” – Nick [25:35]

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[25:54] Listener Engagement & Shoutouts

• Ticker Symbol Game: As Jack’s birthday gift, listeners are invited to comment with their imagined ticker symbol for “Jack stock” [25:54].
• Multiple birthday shoutouts and congratulations to listeners and their milestones [26:12-27:04]:
  • From birthdays to launching stores to new babies (“initial baby offering”).

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Notable Quotes & Laugh-Out-Loud Moments

• “Extreme Alarms, they are tasering, torturing, and stealing—stealing your money.” – Nick [02:48]
• “Forget the upgrade cycle. We think this cheap laptop will lead to a downgrade cycle.” – Jack [09:06]
• “You want to talk to Soulja Boy about 19th-century Russian literature? Boom. He’s got content for you right there.” – Nick [13:00]
• “To convince skeptics that something will work? Don’t use reason. Use spectacle.” – Jack [15:02]
• “Millennials who once wore Abercrombie’s cargo shorts are now buying Fitch for their kids.” – Jack [23:23]
• “It’s time to start making a documentary about Michael Jordan’s last dance inside his car.” – Jack [24:19]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:32] – Extreme Alarm Clocks Segment
• [05:51] – Story #1: Apple’s MacBook Neo “Value Meal”
• [10:34] – Story #2: Soulja Boy’s AI Phone and Bland AI
• [17:20] – Story #3: The Bull Case for Markets During Iran War
• [23:10] – Quick Hits: Abercrombie, Crypto Bill, Michael Jordan’s NASCAR team
• [24:36] – Best Fact Yet: Youth Baseball Trivia & Birthday Fun
• [25:54] – Audience Engagement & Shoutouts

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Episode Summary

A high-energy episode featuring business innovation, clever analogies, and current events. The hosts use punchy banter to reveal hidden dynamics behind Apple’s new pricing strategy, AI’s applied spectacle in call centers, and Wall Street’s paradoxical optimism about Middle East conflict. Plus, quirky new alarm clocks for the “rise and grind” crowd, and bite-size business updates—cementing TBOY’s reputation for both insight and entertainment.

Transcript

[A]

This is Nick, this is Jack. It's Thursday, the new Friday, March 5, and today's pod is the best one yet. This is a T boy.

[B]

The top three pop business news stories you need to know today.

[A]

Well, first, it is Jack's birthday and you are glowing over there, my friend.

[B]

You know what Alex got me for my birthday?

[A]

Whatcha do? Whatcha do?

[B]

Whatcha do? A Rawlings baseball glove. Classic, top of the line baseball glove. I haven't had a glove in like 10 years since I was.

[A]

You gotta grease that thing even though you're never gonna use it.

[B]

Put it under my mattress.

[A]

Okay, but one other big announcement be tonight's Jack's birthday. Jack, should we share with the Eddies?

[B]

Wednesday next week, March 11, in Washington D.C. our special guest for T boy

[A]

Live, it's the Duchess of Disruption, the sultaness of scoops, the queen of asking questions, Kara Swisher. We got Kay Swish. She's coming on the show live.

[B]

Still got tickets, by the way. Link in episode description.

[A]

Buy them now. Just a few left, Jack. Three fantastic stories for today's pod. What do we got on the T Boy?

[B]

For our first story, Apple just launched their cheapest laptop ever. The MacBook Neo is just 599 doll

[A]

and it tastes like McDonald's because this is tech's first value meal.

[B]

For our second story, Soulja Boy is the first rapper to clone his voice with AI.

[A]

So why is Soulja Boy doing it? Well, naturally it's for enterprise software.

[B]

And our third and final story. Why are stocks actually up since the war in Iran began?

[A]

Well, it's because investors see a bull swimming in the Persian Gulf.

[B]

But yetis before we hit that wonderful mix of stories.

[A]

Whoa. Stuck the landing. Love the mix. Fantastic mix, Jack.

[B]

New trend alert. Extreme alarm clocks.

[A]

We're talking about alarm clocks that will not let you snooze under any circumstances.

[B]

Not just like loud noise or big vibration alarm clocks.

[A]

We're talking alarm clocks that will shock you, scare you and take your money if you don't get up.

[B]

Get this. There is one startup that makes an alarm clock called the sonic boom.

[A]

It physically shakes like an earthquake on your side table. It'll give you a headache.

[B]

Another, it's called the shock clock because

[A]

this thing will literally shock you up to 300 volts of energy.

[B]

Another, it's called alarmy because it makes you complete a task to get the alarm to turn off.

[A]

I think I love this one the most. Jack, you must type a famous quote or complete a math problem.

[B]

So you wake up at 5:05am and it's like, what's the square root of three? I'll stop when you get it to within one decimal point.

[A]

Okay, but besties, wildest of all is the nudge alarm that makes you scan the barcode on the shampoo bottle over in your bathroom.

[B]

And if you don't get up and do that within three minutes, it withdraws $25 from your linked bank account and

[A]

then it gives that money to a charity.

[B]

So snooze, you lose, you lose. Cash, you lose.

[A]

Literal cash. According to the Wall Street Journal, One user lost 999 bucks from that specific alarm clock.

[B]

Sleeping in was a really costly habit for that dude.

[A]

Sebastie's Extreme Alarms, they are tasering, torturing and stealing, stealing your money.

[B]

And yet over 1 million Americans voluntarily use them.

[A]

Now, honestly, Eddies, Jack and I hope that we are the ones who wake you up in the morning not by pinching you, but with a little razzle dazzle, sprinkle, dinkle. But if you still are not woken up, Jack and I have one remaining question for you.

[B]

What is 9 times 5 divided by 3 rounded up to the nearest prime

[A]

number multiplied by the square root of 46? Jack, let's hit our three stories.

[C]

Fifteen years before this song two boys from the northeast met in a dorm they had an idea that caused a cultural storm it's the best one yet but the best is the norm.

[A]

Jack.

[D]

Nick.

[C]

That's it. I don't even think they need to practice. 50%. That's a fat tip. T boy city on your at Liz. If you know, you know. Cause we read to go we can't wait no more so just start the

[A]

show,

[C]

Start the show.

[A]

Start the show. First, a quick word from our sponsor. So yet he's. Jack's instituted a new business model for his Airbnb hosting. And Jack, what is it? Here it is.

[B]

Host equals guest.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I funnel all my revenue from being a host on Airbnb into one bank account and use that same bank account to book travel for myself.

[A]

Basically, it's Jack's host, guest, bank account for when he hosts and when he's guests somewhere else.

[B]

When I lived in the City Neck, every time my apartment was available on Airbnb, it would get booked like that.

[A]

I mean, think about how often are you away from home? You got the bridesmaid, you got the shower, you got the bachelorette, you got the wedding.

[B]

That's three weekends away. Just for one wedding right there. Plus you gotta visit your mother, naturally.

[A]

Well, that's a lot of potential hosting that you could be doing on Airbnb. Let someone else stay at your place while you're away.

[B]

Take that host money and spend it when you're a guest somewhere else. Have a business model like me if

[A]

you want to travel more. Hosting more is a great way to make it happen Financially.

[B]

Your home might be worth more than you think.

[A]

Find out how much at airbnb.com/host menace AI yetis. So when are we using AI? When we're jumping in T boy style to some research.

[B]

Why crunch numbers in that earnings report when a bot will do it for you?

[A]

Don't worry. Jack's love language is fact checking. So everything gets a double check. Fact check before it makes the pod.

[B]

You know it. No AI Slopper app?

[A]

No. So Jack and I are pumped to tell you about Manus AI, the hot new AI agent that does more than just answer your questions.

[B]

It does tap tasks for you that you don't want to do to get your work done faster and better.

[A]

Manus is the most powerful AI agent for people who don't code.

[B]

We just asked Manus where the CEOs of the 100 most profitable companies went to college. Boom. It created it for us.

[A]

Or you could ask Manus to launch an e commerce shop for you. Boom. Your Anna Wintour.

[B]

Manus connects the most advanced LLMs with a set of tools to deliver real world tasks.

[A]

Oh, by the way, Manus means hands in Latin. Because like hands, Manus is pretty darn useful to humans.

[B]

And you can get your hands on Manus AI for free.

[A]

Visit Manus im tboy to get started with Manus and some T boy special credits.

[B]

That's Manus IM tbly

[A]

for our first story, Apple just created its first ever Mac Value meal. That's what we're calling it because it's a $599 MacBook. The cheapest laptop Apple has ever made.

[B]

But just like what happened with Tesla, we think this will lead to downgrades, not upgrades.

[A]

Yet it is a funny thing Jack and I noticed. Jack, can you share what the upside is if you do not invest in AI Like Apple? Yeah, like Apple.

[B]

It's that you have plenty of money left over to invest in new hardware.

[A]

So this week, Apple unveiled their new lower priced iPhone 17e, a new iPad, a new external monitor. All very boring.

[B]

Yeah, they left the best for last.

[A]

They did.

[B]

Yesterday they unveiled the MacBook Neo, their cheapest computer by far.

[A]

Yeah, Jack, can you hop on LinkedIn and read us the resume on this brand new Apple laptop.

[B]

13 inch liquid retina display, an aluminum body, 1080p camera, touch ID and two

[A]

USB ports to quote booby miles. And he can pass.

[B]

I mean, that's the core of what you'd expect in a MacBook. It is.

[A]

It's kind of like driving a Jeep. It gets the job done.

[B]

So Nick and I gotta ask, what's the catch? How was Apple able to drop the price by 40% compared to a MacBook Air?

[A]

How is Apple able to drop the price 60% compared to their MacBook Pro?

[B]

Well, there are a couple downsides. The keyboard is not backlit, so it's tough to type in the dark.

[A]

And this new laptop, it runs on a chip originally built for like an iPhone 16.

[B]

But unless you're at home programming like the next Zelda for your big Fortnite tournament, we don't think you'll notice that lower grade processor.

[A]

There's some vintage parts under that chassis. Nah, it doesn't matter. You're not going to worry about it.

[B]

So what is this really? It's a value meal textile.

[A]

Or as Jack and I call it, it's a Mac value meal because it's coming from Apple.

[B]

Apple Zucked McDonald's and created a value meal, but for technology.

[A]

And just like McDonald' value meals are winning in this economy, we think Apple's Mac value meal is going to win

[B]

too, but not how Apple expects. True, because this laptop reminds us of Tesla's value meals.

[A]

Ah, Tesla's value meals. We're talking about the Model y and Model 3 cars. Those were Tesla's mass produced, lower priced products. Just like the new Apple Neo MacBook is their lower priced product.

[B]

And like with Tesla, these MacBooks only allow two variations to keep the cost down. You can change the memory and you can change the color. That's it.

[A]

Because In America, just 24% of laptops are actually made by Apple.

[B]

Over 60% of the American laptop market is Dell and HP, which are much lower priced than MacBooks.

[A]

So you see what we're getting at here. Apple is hoping this new version tempts more people to join club. Apple, you know, take a bite out of Apple's friendly value meal.

[B]

And here's an interesting twist. Given the shortage of RAM chips in this economy, Dell and HP are having to raise the price of their laptops right now.

[A]

On the other hand, Apple's now floating, flexing its financial muscle and doing the opposite. It's dropping prices by 40%.

[B]

So the next time you consider buying a new laptop for the first time, The Apple option will be price competitive compared to Dell and hp.

[A]

Honey, we're getting an Apple.

[B]

Apple's going on the price offense while the laptop competition is on the price defense.

[A]

Hey, Tim Cook, if you're listening, throw a happy Meal in there. That's what Jack and I are thinking. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Apple?

[B]

Forget the upgrade cycle. We think this cheap laptop will lead to a downgrade cycle.

[A]

Yetis this $600 MacBook. It is designed to compete with Google's Chromebook. It's meant for students and lower income customers.

[B]

And it's clearly targeting kids because of the colors. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the whole color skittle style of the rainbow.

[A]

But we think Apple's cheap laptop also has one last similarity with Tesla's Model 3. It'll cannibalize sales of the higher end models.

[B]

Tesla's Model 3 and Model Y quickly became 95% of Tesla sales. The higher end Model S and Model X simply couldn't compete.

[A]

Jack and I look back on that and we think it was a pricing mistake by Elon. Looking at value, the model 3 and the model Y, those were no brainers to buy. I got one because the price just made sense.

[B]

Sure, the Model S is a little bit bigger and a little bit nicer, but for double the price, it just didn't make sense.

[A]

Well, it's the same situation for Apple. The new MacBook Neo simply has fantastic value compared to the higher end MacBooks.

[B]

Sure, some will insist on the higher memory and the need to support two external monitors. Or maybe it's their work computer and they're expensing it.

[A]

Nerd alert, Jack. Just like some Tesla buyers paid twice the price for a Model S car

[B]

that went slightly faster, they needed 0 to 60 and 3.0, not 3.8.

[A]

But for most, when their MacBook hits the fritz, we think they're going to

[B]

downgrade, not upgrade value meal products cannibalized at Tesla. We think this laptop could do the same at Apple.

[A]

For our second story, Soulja Boy just became the first rapper to automate his voice with AI.

[B]

He's doing it though, to boost an enterprise software startup. You kind of love it because Spectacle always sells.

[A]

Now Jack, if we're going to tell the story, could you whip open the white pages over there and tell us the most famous phone numbers of all time?

[B]

1-800-Call-Att, dial right down the middle and it's free, I think.

[A]

What about 1-877-cars-for kids like you can't get that out of your head right now.

[B]

K A R S Cars for kids.

[A]

But of course there is a Jenny. You can always call Jenny at 867-5309.

[B]

When I was a kid, my landline phone number ended with 5309.

[A]

That is the best fact yet right there. But yetis, add a new phone number to the famous phones list. 415-480-0000.

[B]

By the way, if you have a better famous phone number, drop it in the comments. We'll say the best one tomorrow.

[A]

But if you call that 415 number

[B]

will tell him because that number goes to DeAndre Cortez. You know him as Soulja Boy.

[A]

Soulja Boy, the 35 year old rapper from Hotlanta, Atlanta, Georgia.

[B]

In 2007, you tried to do his that dance to the song crank that.

[A]

Yeah, 2007, crank that. In which he says the word crank 55 times in the song. We counted.

[B]

But Soulja Boy's not just a 2007 Billboard Top 100 artist. He's an innovator.

[A]

He is. Because Soulja Boy says he was the first ever rapper on YouTube and he

[B]

says he was the first ever rapper to use an iPhone.

[A]

Actually, this is unconfirmed by Apple's PR team, but Soulja Boy claims that Steve Jobs personally handed him an iPhone when he did a music video at his house.

[B]

And it makes sense. In 2007, that song was the most viral song of the year. And Apple would want to get that publicity. I believe it, Jack.

[A]

Apparently, like the Apple team showed up while he was in the pool and was like, he had a margarita in one hand. And they were like, just take this device and hand it.

[B]

This is passing my fact check.

[A]

But besties, we gotta add one other first to Soulja Boy's resume.

[B]

Soldier Boy is now the first rapper to clone his voice for AI because

[A]

this rapper gave permission to a large language model to ingest his music, his interviews, his content, and create an AI clone.

[B]

But the wildest part is how you access his AI clone.

[A]

Because we've seen this before, but we've never seen this. 415-480-0000.

[B]

Call that phone number and you can speak with Soulja Boy. Sorry, Soulja Boy's AI.

[A]

Yeah, because the system greets the callers in a near perfect recreation of Soulja Boy's voice and basically jumps right into

[B]

the conversation with you about his life, his lyrics. You can ask him to sing his songs.

[A]

Oh, you want to talk to Soulja Boy about 19th century Russian literature. Boom. He's got content for you right there.

[B]

Because he's AI. He's read the entire Internet. Oh, and Soulja Boy's second most famous song, kiss Me through the Phone.

[A]

But now you can for free. Literally. Although, we should point out, Jack, souljboy isn't unicef. He's not doing this for charity. Right.

[B]

This is actually a marketing move for a Bay Area AI startup called Bland

[A]

AI it's a similar business model to Eleven Labs. Bland AI has raised 65 million bucks to access and license recognizable voices.

[B]

Now, you may remember last year, Matthew McConaughey tried to patent protect his voice.

[A]

Yeah, all right, all right, all right.

[B]

And as recently as last fall, Soulja Boy was complaining publicly about AI stealing music and stealing famous voices.

[A]

But Soulja Boy must be figuring that resistance is futile. He may as well be profiting off of that voice.

[B]

So he's flipped his position. But the real question isn't about Soulja Boy. It's about the question behind this marketing stunt.

[A]

Cause this. This isn't an entertainment business, is it, Jack?

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Jack. What's the takeaway for our buddy Soulja Boy and Bland AI?

[B]

This is the Brooklyn Bridge elephant parade. Once again.

[A]

You see, Yetis, Bland AI is the startup behind this Soulja Boy move. They're worth reported 350 million bucks, and they are a B2B enterprise software company.

[B]

Despite that big valuation, it's not a sexy business.

[A]

That's sexy.

[B]

They try to automate call centers with AI.

[A]

So the whole point of this Soulja Boy stunt? Well, prove its AI is so realistic, humans will think it's not a bot on the other line, but an actual human. It's actually Soldier Boy.

[B]

That'd be valuable if you were trying to automate call centers with AI.

[A]

Yes, it would be. And you know what? Jack and I have seen this strategy before. 140 years ago on the Brooklyn Bridge.

[B]

Let me take this one, Nick, please.

[A]

You got it, Brooklyn Boy.

[B]

When they finished the Brooklyn Bridge, New Yorkers were afraid to cross it. So the city hired the Ringling Brothers in Barnum and Bailey Circus and said, bring your elephants over. We're marching them across the bridge in the middle of the day.

[A]

And, Jack, what is the connection between those elephants 140 years ago on the Brooklyn Bridge and our buddy Soldier Boy

[B]

to convince skeptics that something will work? Don't use reason. Use spectacle.

[A]

That is why Soulja Boy is going viral for a phone number that's actually boosting a B2B business.

[B]

New York used elephants. The AI industry used Soulja Boy.

[A]

Now a quick word from our sponsor.

[B]

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Monarch When I had student debt, I tracked my progress on an Excel spreadsheet I manually updated each month.

[A]

Why was Jack a spreadsheet jockey? Cause when he was paying off his student debt, Monarch didn't exist yet.

[B]

Well, one year ago, I proudly killed that spreadsheet I'd been building for 12 years. RIP spreadsheet because Monarch is a way better solution.

[A]

All your financial accounts are linked to Monarch. Every credit card, checking account, brokerage account, even our mortgages. Live balances updated in real time.

[B]

I'm still paying down my mortgage, and Monarch gives me the visibility and tools to do it.

[A]

You can use it to create savings buckets and financial goals in Monarch. Set yourself up for financial success this year.

[B]

Are you familiar with the Sankey diagram?

[A]

I had no idea what it was. Jack.

[B]

Well, once you see it, you can't unsee it. It's brilliant. And Monarch visually shows you what you're spending.

[A]

And we did not make up that term. Your investment portfolio. Monarch compares it to the S&P 500 for you.

[B]

Set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with Monarch, the all in one tool that makes proactive money management simple.

[A]

Use code T [e-mail] for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code T Boy for our third and final story. The war in Iran began six days ago, but stock markets are actually up. How could that be? Exactly?

[B]

We know what Wall street is thinking because we used to work there. So here's Wall Street's bull case for the war in Iran.

[A]

Now, Yetis, you've been with us all week. We've been covering the risks of the Iran war to US markets, including our drone arbitrage story.

[B]

Because buying defense missiles to shoot down drones, it's not the best way to grow our economy, is it?

[A]

But despite the uncertainty and spike in oil prices, stocks are actually up since the war started.

[B]

That's as of yesterday afternoon. Now investors know the downside risks of this war. They're smart people.

[A]

We said uncertainty gives investors the ick.

[B]

But clearly investors are giving the upside potential of this war equal weight in their calculations.

[A]

So Wall street clearly sees a bull case for the war in Iran that we think a sav. Ambitious, informed, interesting person like you should know. So here's a taste of it.

[B]

Let's sprinkle on some context.

[A]

Let's do it, Jack.

[B]

Because Iran has been an enemy of the United states for almost 50 years, there's a huge perception versus reality disconnect about Iran.

[A]

All right, Jack, let's start with the perception.

[B]

Iran, it's in the Middle East. Deserts, burkas, a primitive economy, it must be just held together by oil.

[A]

The reality though, actually Iran has deep human capital, deep innovation and a self reliant economy.

[B]

You see, before the 1979 revolution, Iran was a prosperous nation, Uber CEO, eBay's

[A]

founder, both of them were born in that past.

[B]

Iran, and Iran is still today very educated.

[A]

Get this, Iran ranks number 15 on the list of most academic papers published per year.

[B]

And yes, Iran sits on the third largest oil reserve in the world. So they have both natural resources but also really deep human resources.

[A]

I mean, an example of this we're seeing in real time, just look at that Iranian battleship that the US sunk just on Tuesday.

[B]

A 300 foot modern military machine with weaponry. That's not a primitive economy, Nick. The Iranians built that.

[A]

Now Bessies, we're not talking about the leadership or government here. We are talking about the people. The 90 million people in Iran who are industrious, well educated, innovative, creative.

[B]

But speaking of the government, Nick, Iran's been in the economic doghouse.

[A]

Death to Israel, death to America. Those were popularized by the first supreme leader of the country and have become the country's catchphrases.

[B]

And Iran is the largest state sponsor of terror in the world, according to our CIA.

[A]

But when you add all this up, what is this bull Case that Wall street appears to be seeing right now,

[B]

it's that the people of Iran don't want to be pariahs anymore. They want to replace their government.

[A]

The bull case, the optimistic case investors are seeing right now is that our government just took out the Ayatollah and a switch. So our government just took out the Ayatollah.

[B]

But if you're hoping it gets replaced with democracy, history suggests you shouldn't hold your breath.

[A]

Yeah. To sprinkle on some more context, the CATO Institute found 28 times the US military or CIA has caused a in another country. And Jack, what are the results?

[B]

Only three of those 28 resulted in long term democracy.

[A]

Two of them were post World War II, Japan and Germany.

[B]

Still, the bull case that Wall street seems to think has potential is that we replace a repressive dictatorship with an impressive democracy that the United States can trade with.

[A]

So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies looking at the war in Iran and stock markets?

[B]

The base case that investors are pricing in right now is regime change. Light, like in Venezuela.

[A]

Now, Yetis, Jack and I mentioned when we worked on Wall street, here's what we were talking about. When stock markets decide the fair valuation of a stock, they create a bear, a bull and a base case scenario.

[B]

Investors associate each with a stock price and then calculate the weighted average of the stock based on the probability of those three cases.

[A]

Now, on Tuesday, we shared with you the bear case, the negative scenario that a forever war will cost years and trillions of dollars to the United States

[B]

government, just like with Afghanistan and Iraq. And we just finished telling you the bull case, which is that Iran transforms into a prosperous democratic trading partner.

[A]

But Jack, can we please define the base case scenario here? The most likely outcome, which is something much less dramatic, it's that the head

[B]

of state in Iran changes. But Iran's institutions remain in place just

[A]

like we saw in Venezuela. Maduro's regime is still in place, just without Maduro himself and less anti American

[B]

sentime for the base case, it's probably that the United States could exit Iran after destroying its nuclear and domestic missile programs and that the Islamic Republic could remain intact, just with new leadership that poses less threat to the United States.

[A]

But besties, we don't know how it'll end. And investors on the stock market, they don't know either.

[B]

But with stocks flat or slightly up since the world began, it looks like the base case we just described is what's being priced in it looks like

[A]

investors are thinking regime change, like Jack could You whip up the takeaways for us for your birthday. The new Friday.

[B]

Our first story was the Mac Value Meal. Yep, Apple's new MacBook Neo is priced low to get people to buy their first Apple laptop.

[A]

But we think it'll cannibalize and lead to downgrades from existing users, not upgrades.

[B]

For our second story, it's Soulja Boy. He's letting Bland AI use his voice, but it's to sell automated call center services.

[A]

This is a Soulja Boy marketing spectacle, just like the elephant parade on the Brooklyn Bridge.

[B]

And our third and final story. Investors reaction to the war in Iran has been a shrug. Yeah, stocks were slightly up as we recorded this episode.

[A]

So considering the bear case, the base case and the bull case, it seems investors are pricing in regime change.

[B]

Light but besties. This pod's not over yet. Here's what else you need to know today.

[A]

First, pop the collars. Abercrombie and Fitch just announced earnings. Get this 13th straight quarter of sales gains.

[B]

Abercrombie. It's been getting spanked by tariffs. But conf. Consumers are still loading up on the moose.

[A]

Oh, and what's the key, Jack? This is interesting.

[B]

Millennials who once wore Abercrombie's cargo shorts are now buying Fitch for their kids.

[A]

Yeah, that cologne smells like. And second, the crypto ice age just warmed up a tad.

[B]

Coinbase and Robinhood stocks both jumped yesterday as the president threw his support behind a new crypto bill.

[A]

In fact, the president called out banks for holding up the legislation because it hurts the banks. It might.

[B]

The new crypto legislation would let crypto companies offer yield to their customers in return for stablecoins, which poses a big threat to conventional bank accounts.

[A]

And finally, congratulations to Michael Jordan on winning in yet another sport. But not basketball.

[B]

Definitely not baseball.

[A]

Michael Jordan, he owns a racing team. It's called the 23 XI NASCAR Racing Team.

[B]

And his hand picked race car driver Tyler Riddick just set a NASCAR record.

[A]

First time a driver has won the first three car races of the NASCAR season.

[B]

Hey, Netflix and Apple.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's time to start making a documentary about Michael Jordan's last dance inside his car.

[A]

Last dance around the loop. Now time for the best fact yet. Which because Jack just traveled all the way around the sun again, means he has the honors. It's Jack's best fact yet for his birthday.

[B]

It's a T boy birthday tradition. Okay, so the World Baseball Classic starts today. It's a once every four year baseball tournament.

[A]

Because the Olympics don't do baseball, so we do The World Baseball Classic.

[B]

Now, Japan has won three of the last five World Baseball classics, Nick.

[A]

But Jack, I believe your son, my pod son, this year playing T ball, which is important.

[B]

And guess who's the coach of that team. And guess who has a brand new baseball glove to be the coach of that team?

[A]

Well, I'm not shocked, but it's definitely you, Jack.

[B]

So youth sports is on my mind, which leads to this trivia question. All right, what do we got? What country has the most Little League World Series championships?

[A]

All right, the T boy trivia. What country has the most Little League World Series baseball championships?

[B]

Okay, number three is Japan.

[A]

Okay, that makes sense.

[B]

Number two is Taiwan.

[A]

Oh, I didn't expect.

[B]

Number one is the United States with 40 of the 77 Little League World Series championships. Yes, the bracket gives the United States a structural advantage, but no, that's not making me hedge this awesome trivia fact.

[A]

No pressure, Wilder. No pressure. Podson on the Little League tee. You're going to be great no matter what.

[B]

There's no strikeouts in T ball, but

[A]

you better bring home that gold yetis. You're looking fantastic for the new Friday. Jack, you are glowing for your birthday over there, my friend. Oh, I got an idea for your birthday. You ready for this?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Besties as a gift. I think Jack will get a kick out of this. Can you just leave in a comment what you think Jack's ticker symbol would be like? If Jack was a stock, what would be his three or four letter ticker symbol?

[B]

I mean, you can't say Jack, that's too easy.

[A]

So bestie, that's all we gotta ask you today. What ticker symbol represents Jack?

[B]

Can't wait to see what you say. Nick and I will see you tomorrow after I have some spaghetti meatballs for dinner tonight.

[A]

And before we go, it's not just Jack's birthday today. Congratulations to Roy Daniel down in D.C. his birthday gift is tickets to our live show next week right down the

[B]

street we got some tickets still available. The link is in the episode description.

[A]

And a Happy birthday to Jeremy Hernandez, turning 34 down in Denver. Jeremy, thank you so much for being a six year yeti. That's a double hat trick.

[B]

And happy birthday to John dell, who's turning 7 in Charlestown, Massachusetts. Just as I this blazer skis faster than Spider man and is stronger than the Hulk.

[A]

And Alex M. Happy 29th birthday over in Boston. Also just outside Boston.

[B]

Happy birthday to Frank Tabora in Sarasota,

[A]

Florida and Devin Ward, the AI Superfan in Anderson, Indiana. Who's got the best birthday yet?

[B]

Happy birthday to Xavier Chang. His wife is saying I told you so because now he's a die hard yeti too.

[A]

And Ty and Nick Madrigale are twins in San Francisco. Ty actually saw me walking with Maxi through the marina over the weekend. Next time, Ty, you gotta say hi. We love meeting Yetis in the wild.

[B]

Congratulations to Alyssa Schmidt, the first to successfully launch a pop up store in Boston's Logan Airport. She's crushing it.

[A]

And congratulations to Richard and the entire Humanot body scanning team. They've got a wild technology and a few cool places. You gotta check them out. Congrats, Richard.

[B]

And congratulations to Kristen and Oliver Tufne in London celebrating their first ibo, their

[A]

initial baby on offering their son Heath. David Tufney was just born and he's looking fantastic.

[B]

Ticker symbol.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

This is Jack. I own stock of Netflix. And Nick and I both own stock of Apple and Robinhood.

[D]

Howdy, howdy ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fan Fellas. I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.

[E]

And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball. But you can call me the Smash Daddy.

[D]

And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sander since fantasy epic Mistborn. But here's the catch. Steven here has not read Mistborn before.

[E]

That's right.

[A]

Hey. Hey.

[E]

So each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter.

[D]

And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven will even try to guess what's next. Spoiler alert. He'll be wrong.

[E]

News flash, I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday and you can find Fantasy Fan fellows wherever you get your podcasts.