A Crazy 49ers Win, Baltimore’s Alive, Week 18 Stakes, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode: A Crazy 49ers Win, Baltimore’s Alive, Week 18 Stakes, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
Date: December 29, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Cousin Sal

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the wild Week 17 NFL action, focusing on a dramatic 49ers win, the playoff stakes for Week 18, standout team and player storylines, and the weekly tradition of "Guess the Lines" for the upcoming NFL slate. Simmons and Sal bring their signature humor, banter, and sports nerdery, analyzing outcomes, scenarios, and implications for fantasy, betting, and fandom. The conversation is as much about the emotional rollercoaster of football viewing as it is about X’s and O’s.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Wild 49ers Win, NFC Playoff Picture, and High-Stakes Matchups

• Opening Thoughts:

  • Both hosts just watched an “absolutely awesome Bears-49ers game” and are energized by the wild implications for Week 18 (03:33).
  • ESPN gets two high-stakes Saturday games: Carolina vs. Tampa Bay (NFC South crown) and Seattle vs. Rams (NFC West title and No. 1 seed).

• Playoff Scenarios and Chaos:

  • Possible 8-9 division champ (Carolina or Tampa).
  • Potential for new/newish QBs and coaches as top NFC seeds—highlights the parity and absurdity in this season.
  • Bills/Josh Allen possibly forced to win 4 road games to reach the Super Bowl.
  • The possibility of San Francisco never leaving the Bay Area for the entire playoffs and Super Bowl (05:44).

• 49ers-Bears Recap:

  • 49ers defense repeatedly called out as suspect ("Collinsworth said pass rush five times… It felt like they could never get a stop" Simmons, 06:10).
  • Brock Purdy remains unflappable after a pick-six; offense finds ways to move even with injuries (08:35-09:50).
  • Bears: the "TV MVPs" of the season for consistently wild, close games; Caleb Williams’s play is erratic but electric (07:31; 07:45).

Quote:
“Today was great. Football is the best.” (Sal, 03:52)

• Caleb Williams’s Case:
  • Mahomes-like escapability, strong stats, cutting down on mistakes, in MVP conversation (08:13; 11:05).
  • Both hosts ruminate over his ceiling and the Bears' “team of destiny” vibes (14:30-15:22).

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2. Fantasy Football Heroes and Goats

• Christian McCaffrey:
  • Universally hailed as a league-winner once again, first-ballot fantasy hall-of-famer (12:06-13:42).
  • Anecdotes about the pain of the fantasy game and questionable nominations for "guy who won everyone’s league" paints the struggle.

Quote:
“This is one of the greatest fantasy guys we've ever had...” (Simmons, 12:58)

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3. Other Notable Games and Teams

• Eagles and Bills – Frustrating Yet Dangerous:

  • Eagles keep winning ugly; fans never satisfied even after clutch wins (16:03-17:42).
  • Bills' Allen misses wide-open two-point conversion attempt—hosts debate risks/rewards for going for 2 in Week 17 context (18:06-20:03).
  • Both teams viewed as talented but maddening: dangerous but unreliable.

• Jacksonville Jaguars – Suddenly Frisky?

  • Overcome adversity for the first time in what feels like forever; have assembled a talented, resilient squad in the AFC South mess (33:28-35:38).
  • Comparison to Atlanta, discussions over aggressive trades paying off.

• AFC South and Tanking Teams:

  • Giants and Raiders subplots—tanking, front office arrogance, lingering NFL draft questions (28:11-30:21).

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4. Betting, Futures, and Shakies Game Jokes

• Guess the Lines:
  • Segment returns Week 18, with both hosts playfully agonizing over the unpredictability.
  • Tangents on teasers, first-round futures, what teams are “tease-safe” or “parlay anchors”—spoiler: basically no one (48:40-49:51).

Quote:
“We are going to have… It’s going to be impossible to make money in the playoffs because who do you trust?” (Sal, 48:55)

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5. Player Awards and Notable Stats

• MVP Race:

  • Stafford slightly ahead, but skepticism abounds about QBs on lower seeds winning (24:33-25:09).

• Division Champs with Losing Records:

  • Todd Bowles could claim his second 8-9 division title, a rare NFL feat (40:32-41:00).

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6. Comedy, Annoyances, and Parent Corner

• Officiating Rants:

  • Symposium on ambiguous NFL rules—roughing the passer, helmet off, pass interference, taunting, and continuation (57:26-61:10).

• Parent Corner: (96:34)

  • Sal’s son’s well-timed illness spares him an early morning wrestling commute.
  • Fantasy heartbreak and the curse of “pick ’em” decisions between two mediocre WRs, recounted with agonizing humor.
  • Simmons laments his declining fantasy glory, recalling his all-time great 2007 roster.
  • Simmons’s kids obsessed with Stranger Things, leaving Dad feeling old and out-of-place compared to their excitement for the show.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On the chaos of the playoff picture:
  “We might have an 8, 9 division champion. Carolina or Tampa... We could have three new coaches as top three seeds. We could have Josh Allen in the situation of having to win four games in a row on the road to win a super bowl.” — Simmons (04:16)

• On Caleb Williams:
  “Caleb is a roller coaster ride, but he's really fun to watch... He's Mahomes esque with the angles... I think Drake may has a great arm. Caleb seems like he even has like 2%, like more frozen ropey than Drake, I would say.” — Simmons (07:45)

• On Niners offense post-pick-six:
  “Normally, that is like throwing the black cat on the TV or walking under a ladder... But I never felt that way with them. Cause it's so easy for them to get first downs…It’s a very strange team and it just seems like they moved the ball.” — Simmons (09:08)

• On Philly’s frustrating win streak:
  “They won for a month like that. Basically. Now they have two games where he didn't complete a pass in the second half. Then they won the game. Like, just outrageous to me.” — Sal (16:44)

• On Allen’s two-point miss:
  “If that's any other quarterback, we're talking about how the quarterback choked. Allen's been great. I know he's banged up... The guy was wide open... if you're the best quarterback in the league, you got to make that throw.” — Simmons (18:06)

• On McCaffrey’s fantasy impact:
  “This is one of the greatest fantasy guys we've ever had. Right. When he took them. Like, yeah, you could have. You could have McCaffrey. Yeah, he'll get hurt. Week three, whatever, we'll check it out.” — Simmons (12:52)

• On Tanking Front Offices:
  “I think it's an arrogant stance by the front office of any team that's supposed to be tanking. Like, oh we're not good at hiring coaches, we're not good at signing free agents but get us our draft pick because that's where we're going to turn it around. It's like, no you're not. Cut it out. Just play the game. Play to win.” — Sal (30:01)

• On weekly rules confusion and officiating:
  “Driving the QB into the ground on a sack, being either a penalty or not a penalty, depending on how the linesman's feeling on this specific play. I've just given up.” — Simmons (57:30)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• Bears-49ers Recap, NFL Playoff Scenarios: 03:33–11:59
• Caleb Williams Analysis: 07:45, 11:05
• Fantasy Football / McCaffrey: 12:06–13:42
• Eagles-Bills Analysis: 16:03–21:06
• Jags/Colts, AFC South Weirdness: 33:28–36:38
• NFL Rules and Officiating Rants: 57:26–63:27
• Guess the Lines, Week 18: 67:27–93:06
• Parent Corner: 96:34–105:45

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Episode Tone and Style

The episode is classic late-season Simmons & Sal—manic, funny, a little nostalgic, and just cranky enough about all the dumb elements of fandom and sports gambling. Analysis and snark go hand-in-hand, (“peak of the year for us…13 and 3 is pretty impressive…" – Simmons, 27:26) as do beloved tangents and fantasy heartbreak stories.

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Final Thoughts

Those tuning in get a whirlwind NFL wrap-up—colorful, detailed, and relatable, especially for fans and degenerates navigating the chaos of late-season football. The episode’s blend of real football insight, comedy, nostalgia, and sharp takes on football’s absurdities (and boyish delight in a truly bonkers sport) make it a perfect primer for the Week 18 drama and beyond.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is sponsored by Uber Eats. Every time I sit down and watch the game, I find myself getting a little hungry. Football and food just go together, especially on Sundays. Good thing Uber Eats has game day deals all season long. We're talking savings on all your favorite eats and snacks. Wings, pizza, chips, drinks, you name it. Whether it's from your favorite restaurant or straight from the grocery store. Uber Eats has deals on everything you need for game day. Get game day deals on Uber Eats. Order now. The Bill Simmons Podcast, brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where I have a new rewatchables coming for you on Monday night. It is a special episode. You're probably not going to expect what it is. Parts of it will probably confuse you, might make you mad. You're not going to know where it's going. That's all I'm going to say. But it's coming on Monday night. And if you like the podcast and if you've listened to at least a few episodes over the year, I'm pretty confident you will enjoy this episode. So that is coming on the Rewatchables on Monday. And then we're moving into our big 2026 slate, which I was actually one of the things I was planning out over the little mini break there, trying to figure out the schedule for the first few months. So stay tuned on that one. Coming up on this podcast, Cousin Sal is here. As always. We taped, recorded, I always say, taped like it's 1990. We recorded like it was, like we usually do right after the game, except we had to wait a couple minutes because they were trying to release where the playoff matchups were. So we have that at the top. We have all the playoff seatings, all the implications for week 18, all of our reactions to a crazy week of football. Week 17, which went Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, yeah, and now Monday. So the NFL, they just, they know how to do it with us. We have big action packed Parent Corner here as well. So it's all coming up next. We're going to take a break. Pearl Jam, the cousin Sal and I are breaking down week 17. Looking forward to week 18 next. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like expecting a linebacker on the football field, but getting a line cook. Sure, they both can handle the pressure when it starts heating up, but only one is stopping a touchdown. You wouldn't settle for just anything for your team, so don't settle for just any insurance when it comes to getting the help you need. State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. All right, we're live Sunday night. Just watched an absolutely awesome bears 49ers game. Cousin Sal is here. We were a little late today because there were so many week 18 implications. Sal didn't even know where we were going to be on Saturday. They gave us two awesome games for espn. Holy shit. Like two real high stakes games. Were you surprised? We got Carolina, Tampa for the NFC south and then Seattle and the Rams for the one seed and the NFC west crown. That's Saturday and Saturday night. Now we have to tell our families. What are we going to do?

[B]

I'm not telling mine. I'm just going to have to fake it. I'll go to the hospital. I'll do something. Yeah, I thought Seattle. I thought that Seattle game would go to Fox and Carolina would be Saturday night, but ESPN gets both. I just. I can go launch into a Collinsworth. But football's the effing best, isn't it? The best.

[A]

Today was great.

[B]

Come on. Today was great. Football is the best.

[A]

Are you defending it after football got its ass kicked on Christmas?

[B]

I don't think it did.

[A]

Right down the chimney. The NBA holes were ecstatic on Sunday night or Thursday night.

[B]

The Knicks game was close. They were down by 60 most of it.

[A]

Denver, Minnesota was amazing.

[B]

Nobody was awake for that.

[A]

Got to watch LeBron jog around on defense. It was great.

[B]

This is a bad start.

[A]

This is a bad start. I'm going to try to stick to my script and we'll incorporate some of this other stuff. Here are the things that are still in play. With one week to go in this bizarre NFL season, we might have an 8, 9 division champion. I think that's locked down. Right. Carolina or Tampa Or I guess if Tampa wins, they'd be an 8, 9 division champ.

[B]

They.

[A]

Yeah, right. Bo Nixon. Yeah.

[B]

Caroline's 9 and 8 if they win.

[A]

Yep. Bo Nix and Sam Darnold could be our number one seed quarterbacks.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

Drake May and Caleb. And Caleb Williams could be our number two seed quarterbacks after Jaden Daniels last year made the NFC title game. We could have three new coaches as top three seeds. We could have Josh Allen in the situation of having to win four games in a row on the road to win a Super Bowl. We could have a scenario where Mac Jones beats the Patriots in the Super Bowl. If Brock Purdy got hurt in the Niners and Pats, we have Aaron Rodgers, who I think was 4 yards a pass and just looked helpless. Today against Houston's defense, which just. If you don't like Aaron Rodgers, this is the playoff game for you. Potentially. Week 18, six wins total right now for New York football, which I think is the lowest ever. And then both of them are going to lose next week. We could have Bryce Young hosting a Shakies game in round one. And then most important, I think for this exercise, we could have San Francisco never leaving the Bay Area and playing in the super bowl, which I'm pretty sure has never happened, right?

[B]

Oh, never leaving.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A couple teams have won super bowl in their own stadium, Right. The Rams did it a few years ago, but never. No, no, no, never.

[A]

Actually. Just like. Like Tirico said at one point, they don't even have to use their suitcases. And it's like, oh, yeah, they really don't. Right. They could just run it through probably.

[B]

Media day is probably like an hour and 20 minutes away. That might be the furthest they have.

[A]

The super bowl being at Santa Clara. There is actually more traveling for them than maybe people would think. But the Niners, that was an awesome win for them. I don't know how they're doing it with this defense. Collinsworth said the word pass rush. I think five times today. They know pass rush. It didn't feel like they could ever get a stop. And then they finally got a stop at the end and stop.

[B]

Caleb Williams, he was laughing so much. Collinsworth, I loved it. Whenever there's points, he laughs. I'm just laughing. Anytime there's a touchdown, I'm slapping my knee like a maniac. And you know, Bill, even a field goal gets a chuckle. But that play with. To whose sec? I. I was losing it like a hyena. Dave Chappelle, One man show. I really. That was.

[A]

Do you buy Halloween stuff for the front of your house that activates when people show up? Because I was thinking.

[B]

No, Yeah.

[A]

I was thinking the Collinsworth cackling thing where you get near the door and he just starts laughing like he does 10 seconds after a play when Tirico sets him up and it's like, caleb Williams, my guy. I would buy that. Anyway, we had Purdy versus Caleb in a Sunday shootout. We had the Bears. And yet another down to the wire comeback. This time it fell short. But are they the. Are they the TV MVPs this year? The Bears? Ooh, were they the most reliable, entertaining NFL team we had this year? I feel like they were.

[B]

I think so. I would have said maybe my stupid team. Or the Bengals. I talk about them. Maybe Playing on Super Bowl Sunday in the morning each other.

[A]

The Bears had what, eight games come down to the wire or seven or.

[B]

They're also good. Yeah, they're also very good. Yeah, they don't really. It's fun to watch.

[A]

Like Caleb is a roller coaster ride, but he's really fun to watch. He can scramble and buy himself 11 seconds and then miss a wide open guy in the same play. Or he could uncork that 50 yarder like he did today where it just like it was a wrist flick and it's a boom. Or that. That rifle he threw to loved one. I mean he probably has. I think Drake may has a great arm. Caleb seems like he even has like 2%, like more frozen ropey than. Than Drake I would say.

[B]

Those are for sure.

[A]

Yeah, those are the rockets right now.

[B]

And he could take off, right. He knows all the angles. He's Mahomes esque with the angles and getting the first down just by a foot, all that stuff. And he's cutting down on mistakes. Not that he dad a lot. I think that out of anyone's first thousand passes he had the fewest interceptions out of anybody in football. So that was until Drake May can.

[A]

Get to a thousand passes.

[B]

That's right. Until he gets a thousand, Drake will take that. But they and the Niners are just as good, man. They match him. Purdy buzzing around the field, throws that pick six and he was as cool as if he was up 17 points in the fourth. Like really just. And with Trent Williams going out like they kind of seem bulletproof. Like that might be like the toughest test. They have like something like that coming down to the wire.

[A]

Yeah, it feels like whenever they want they can go 75 yards. Yeah, I had, I had a lot of Niner stuff tonight. I had them tied to a bunch of different things betting wise. And they threw that pick six to start the game basically. And normally that is like throwing the black cat on the TV or walking under a ladder. You're just like, oh, here we go, I'm done. Cross this up. But I never felt that way with them. Cause it's so easy for them to get first downs. And what's weird is you look up like I was looking at their stats in the fourth quarter and you just look at their receivers. And it's not like they have awesome receivers, you know, it's just random dudes and dudes that got patched together and tight ends and backup tight ends and McCaffrey. And yet somehow Purdy's throwing for 300 yards and he's creating stuff with his legs. Today he was 3:03, three TDs. Ran the ball twice for touchdowns. Got like a prolonged Collinsworth cackle on that little playground play that he had. But he was great and I don't know who he's throwing to. They. They're giving all this money to iuk. He's gone. Jennings, I forgot was even on the team and then made the biggest play of the game in the fourth quarter. But it's, it's a very strange team and it just seems like they moved the ball.

[B]

Yeah. And it doesn't seem like. I don't want to jinx them, but I guess McCaffrey would be worth one. Just looking through a gambling lens to the spread, but otherwise, you know, Kittle goes out. They scored 50 points today, just like you said. Offense.

[A]

I forgot to mention him. You did, kiddos. Almost like a bonus for them when he plays.

[B]

I don't know if the defense is making enough stops. That's. That's the only thing we could, we could talk about. But yeah, I mean, I was on.

[A]

Multiple Patriot threads today wondering whether we should be upset that Keon Waite, who the Patriots gave away during the season, who plays every snap for the Niners, it seems like. And it's like, well, why do we give that guy away if he's playing all the time for the Niners? And then it's like, well, they're. They just gave up 38 points. We never saw the Bears punter. Maybe, maybe, maybe that's why they gave him up. It's a pretty. You think like, Warner's out, Bose is out. They lost the first round pick. They had D backs hurt today. They had backups to the backups that were in there. It was pretty crazy that they were even in it.

[B]

Don't get us wrong, we're still cursing Robert Sal on various text chains, but it probably really isn't his fault, but they, both of those teams, very, very entertaining.

[A]

Yeah, I don't really understand how they're hanging around like this. Caleb is now over 3,700 yards. He's got 25 TDs and six picks this season, which are stats on a.

[B]

First name basis with him, which is even more important than all that stuff.

[A]

Well, the other thing I noticed today, about three hours ago, he was number three in the FanDuel MVP odds.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I don't think that's the case anymore. Yeah, I think it probably dropped now. He was third. It was basically a two horse race. And then There was a cause, Josh Allen, and we'll talk about him later, but Josh Allen campaign was torpedoed. But so you have him and then you have Luther Burden as this play of monkey wrench. And Collinsworth is like, I've been watching this guy. He was kind of making it seem like I knew this was going to happen with him. And it's like, this guy's available in every fantasy league right now in the finals. Like, what are you doing? He's 400 yards this year, but he looked awesome today.

[B]

I roomed with him at Missouri and it was a little weird because I'm 40 years older, but, you know, whatever, we got used to it.

[A]

Yeah, I watched him eat eggs, Mike, and it was just great. McCaffrey, I think we talk about this every year in week 17. Who won everybody's fantasy league? Who was the guy? And I think it was McCaffrey. They handed that award in the NFL Honors or whatever it's called. It's like guy who won everyone in their Fantasy League. It's McCaffrey, like our league, our friend Cohost, the MOOC, he's about to win the league. And it was basically McCaffrey. He rode. McCaffrey got hot. The. The perfect time crested in the fantasy playoffs and was not priced as like a $60 guy.

[B]

What was he, 45 bucks, I think.

[A]

Yeah, 45. He was like 25% off and he ended up doing it again. This is one of the greatest fantasy guys we've ever had.

[B]

Right. When he took them. Like, yeah, you could have. You could have McCaffrey. Yeah, he'll get hurt. Week three, whatever, we'll check it out.

[A]

But yeah, we've been playing fantasy since early 90s. What was your first year?

[B]

92, I think.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I think I was 90 or 91. McCaffrey is now a first ballot fantasy hall of Famer, I think.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I don't know if he's past Tomlinson. I still feel like Tomlinson, that six year run Tomlinson had is just unapproachable. But McCaffrey, I think is right with Marshall Falk and a couple others, like just generational great fantasy running backs, not to mention somebody who could potentially be on the one seed and somebody who I could identify with because it looked like he was dying from a bad back as the game was going along. I thought he was gonna be using like the Norma Tech or something to like the giant back brace vibrator thing to help him out.

[B]

The four yard screen over the middle where he just gets Pounded instantly or before in most cases. I, I could see him saying to Birdie like, hey, can you cut me some slack? Can you throw us a who's check there? I don't, I don't need every one of these. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Can you not throw me the, the four yarder when you could see the linebacker running full speed about to hit me like can we take that out of.

[B]

The linebacker's like waving his hands. He's like, okay, I'm ready. Go ahead.

[A]

There was also a hook and ladder in this game which was the second one we saw today in a pivotal time on a drive that worked. And you and I both been on hook and ladder island for a long time. Like always wondering why teams don't do this more. It always either it works or at least it gets them a first down. It worked today. But did you think the Bears were going to win when they got that? When it was there on the four yard line, basically and they had one play?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did you think was if you could have live bet it right there, who did you think was going to win?

[B]

I think I did. I mean I didn't bet it, but I would have thought Bears there just because I thought. But I thought like Caleb was going to find an opening and run in. But on that last play he was just too scattered and run back too much. But he missed a couple.

[A]

What did he miss? 4. I mean I thought he was really good in that game. But he also missed four wide open guys including they pointed out that all 22 camera he had. Who was the guy DuVernay that he grounded a tail and it actually seemed like it could have been a touchdown. So he'll he, he should go up a level at some point. But I was, I was thinking if they won that game, it was the first time I was ready to take them seriously as like could they actually make the super bowl?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like all these stupid wins they have. Maybe this is just Team of Destiny shit and maybe this is just where we're heading.

[B]

Yeah, well, we went from, you know, a few weeks ago, so it's looking like we'll go over all this. But it looks like they'll play the packers right if they get the 2 seed.

[A]

It looks like 2. It looks like Bears, Packers 2, 7. Unless the Lions have some sort of crazy out of nowhere win in, in week 18.

[B]

So a month ago or five weeks ago when the packers played him at home and, and beat him, we're like, yeah, that's what should happen. Yeah, get, get lost Bears get out of the way. And then, like, when they came back, the Bears on that Saturday night, and they just like that crazy touchdown at the end, the onside kick and everything, like. Like, oh, man.

[A]

Well, that's stupid, too.

[B]

But at least they're closer now if they play. I'd be surprised if the packers stay within. Within nine or ten points, honestly.

[A]

Oh, especially with all the injuries the packers have had. I mean, they. They're like an ambulance unit at this point. Yeah, I. You know, the Eagles, at halftime of that Eagles Bills game, you're thinking like, this is it. Finally. Somebody has arrived in the NFC to challenge one of these NFC west teams. Like, thank you. Thank. Well, you're late to the party, but thank you. And then in the second half, Hertz doesn't have a completion, and they should have lost the game. And we're basically back to where we were, where we had this great Eagles win. And their fans feel terrible. Right. It's the classic Eagles gamut of emotions where they win, they pulled it out. Nobody feels good about it. Not one person.

[B]

They won for a month like that. Basically. Now they have two games where he didn't complete a pass in the second half. Then they won the game. Like, just outrageous to me. I know the weather was bad, but, you know, they went up against Raiders, Giants, and if you were to just change the uniforms and said, okay, which one of these games, which one of these teams is tanking? He's like, oh, probably the. Probably the team of the quarterback who can't complete a pass. That's it. They're getting the first pick no matter what. So I don't know. I don't know how they're doing it. That defense is excellent. Much better with Jalen Carter, obviously. Yeah. But man, oh, man, put together something, something in the second half.

[A]

It's just, like, a lack of desperation and creativity when they have leads. I felt like I've watched that Eagles game eight times this year where they look good for about an hour, and then they kind of hold on. And then you wonder, what.

[B]

What.

[A]

What. What's happening? Why are there play? Why am I predicting every play? They're running from the couch, you know, and then they barely hold on and you feel awful.

[B]

But do you think Ceriani is, like, buying into the crap, or do you think he just has burling it, like.

[A]

He'S just pulling out just enough to win?

[B]

Every week after the game is talking trash. He's going through the tunnels, like I told you. No one's saying anything yet. And he Actually walks right by the locker room. Like everyone's rolling their eyes at him. But does he think, like, this is the way to do it? Like he's going to be able to knuckleball his way to, to the finals? Maybe.

[A]

I mean, they have been there. Did five straight punts in the second half. They blocked the pat, which is the only reason the Bills wouldn't have just won on that second td. Allen kind of gacked the throw. I gotta call it for what it is. If that's any other quarterback. We're talking about how the quarterback choked. Allen's been great. I know he's banged up. There's a lot of quarterbacks banged up, but it was just a gak. The guy was wide open. They didn't really give us the all 22 of. They gave us a side view. And then another thing, so I know when the All 22 comes out tomorrow, I just feels like he just completely missed him and I don't know whether he was going to his left. They were trying to make excuses for him. They're like, well, he was off balance. He was drifting. It's like, I don't know, man. Like, this guy's supposed to be the best quarterback in the league. You kind of have to make that throw.

[B]

Tirico just all 22. We could watch now NBC has the rights to everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it was a little bit off balance. It's a throw he makes probably 90 out of a hundred times. It was bad. It was in the rain. But yeah, definitely his fault. But getting him down there is just. It was all Josh Allen, like running sideways for nine yards, just lunging on the fourth down and scoring. I can't believe how many people thought it was the wrong move to go for two. Like I thought, I was like, yeah, that's a no brainer. Which way were you thinking on that?

[A]

Oh, 100% go for two. The game didn't if it was week eight or if it was, they actually could win the AFC east if they win this game.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Maybe you're thinking different, but they didn't want to. Allen's already hurt. It's pouring rain, the field's terrible. Your playoff seed is what it is to begin with. Like, why not go for it? The Eagles defense had been on the field for like, it felt like an hour straight and you should be able to get it. And by the way, the guy was wide open and they have the best quarterback in the league and he's got to hit the throw. Drake May hits That throw. I'm sorry?

[B]

Eagles. Oh, that's what this is. That's what you wanted to get.

[A]

The throw. He does.

[B]

Why?

[A]

It's amazing. I think Purdy hits the throw. I. I could name 10 quarterbacks who hit that throw. I couldn't believe he missed.

[B]

Allen hits the throw. He doesn't. Does not typically miss. What are you gonna do?

[A]

He's the best QB in the league. It was terrible.

[B]

Right? But I don't think people should say they couldn't. Shouldn't have gone for two because he missed that. Like, they just like, like you said, like small chance they were going to win the AFC east anyway. Allen's. He is injured. Like is. That foot's a real injury. They want to probably sit him next week. They definitely don't want him to play in overtime. By the way, your kicker just shanked your kicker. Your Bills kicker wearing number 32 in honor of O.J. weird enough slices it blocked. I love it. And that's it.

[A]

What the hell? I love these. Pay no match to O.J.

[B]

That'S a costume.

[A]

If that's a playoff game, you kick the P A T. You take it to overtime. Fine. And. And you trust that your defense has stopped them for an hour and a half and your offense has been moving the ball and you're at home and you're going to win the game. But week 18, when you're going to be. What are they? The. The six or the. They're going to end up being the six seed, I think is. How do they get the six, though?

[B]

They're seven now. How would they get.

[A]

Because the Chargers would have to beat Denver to keep the. Keep the six seed.

[B]

Oh, they do? Yeah. So if they both lose. Chargers and Bills. The Bills.

[A]

The Bills win next week and the Chargers lose. The Bills are the six seed and the Chargers are the seven seed.

[B]

But if the Bills sit everyone. I know it's against.

[A]

But why would they do that, though? I don't.

[B]

If the quarterback's injured and everything. Do you think they.

[A]

They're playing the Jets. They're going to be like two touchdown favorites. You got to at least try to win that game for a half.

[B]

We'll talk about that. But you. You think they want to definitely go to Jacksonville versus Go to New England.

[A]

Well, let me ask you. If the Pats are getting Milton Williams back and they're getting Will campbell back, they're 13 and three. They have May who's playing the best of anyone in the league right now, why would they want to play the Patriots over the Jaguars.

[B]

Well, because I think Josh played the.

[A]

Jaguars a hundred times out of 100.

[B]

Alan probably just heard you say, drake May makes that throw. And now he's angry.

[A]

Drake May would have made the throw. I mean, he was hurt. It's pouring rain. I get it. But if you're the best quarterback in the league, you got to make the throw. But if that was Mahomes two years ago and he missed that throw, we'd be like, I can't believe Mahomes missed that throw.

[B]

More times than not, though, when these teams have a choice between a seven or a six seed, they don't. They'll. They'll err on the side of rest.

[A]

But they're playing the jets. Don't want to. I watched the jets for three hours today.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

[A]

They want no part of even being with it. They've lost. I think they're the first team since 1967 since they've kept track of this where There have been four December games. They're the first team who's lost all four December games by 23 points or more. They're going to beat the Bills next week. There's no way.

[B]

All right, so you're thinking Bills win, Chargers lose to everybody, and that's the six.

[A]

Well, here's. These are the Pats threads I'm on, where we talk about why we don't still have Keon White and also how either way, it's great for us because if. If Denver beats the Chargers, fine, Denver's the one seed. Pats are the two seed Pats. Then play the Chargers, who don't have either of their tackles, who have Herbert, who has this giant cast on his arm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And who really did not look good on Saturday. Or if the Chargers beat Denver, the Pats are the one seed if they beat Miami. So either way, that's great for the Pats. The thing that would suck is if they, Miami somehow beat them with Quinn.

[B]

Ew, boy. Oh, you're looking too far ahead with these charges.

[A]

That's the thing. I don't. I already don't like that it's going to be a late afternoon game. I don't like the late afternoon Sunday east coast games. I think weird shit happens. It's like getting dark. It's freezing cold. The fans are dead. I don't like those games. Makes me nervous.

[B]

I was looking. Cause they have fanduel has stage of elimination.

[A]

I saw that.

[B]

And the Chargers, you and I, when we did the Futures in the. In August, I took Chargers first round they lose. You could bet it in August and right now it's -1 55. I think that's a good bet. They're one and done.

[A]

Yeah. So that's either them going to Jacksonville, who housed them five weeks ago, or the Pats. I mean Herbert. I thought Herbert was awesome in that Houston game. They certainly didn't lose because of him. No, but they just don't have enough, you know, I mean the Shakey's game. Can't believe they might not get the Chargers. They're like, what are we doing? We've. You've checked all of our boxes.

[B]

You can't block. Your games are terrible. Is meeting with Goodell to see if they.

[A]

He's like, how do we get the Chargers? We just want to get them in there. Stafford minus 250 for MVP. Is that changed?

[B]

It's 250.

[A]

Yeah. Drake is down 200. Everybody else is gone.

[B]

Right. That's it. That's it.

[A]

So the Rams. The Rams are probably going to be a five or a six seed. I'm not even sure they're going to care about tomorrow night now which if you have the Rams and parlays tomorrow, it's like, oh, now what happened? Yeah, we both do.

[B]

Son of a bitch.

[A]

I don't know why Stafford's favorite. I don't really understand that.

[B]

So you're saying because I know Patriots fans are all caught up in this. How could a five seed quarterback on a five seed?

[A]

Yeah, I thought we established like it's the one or the two seed usually presents the mvp. Plus Drake has gotten better the whole season. I mean, I don't really care. I don't have money on it, but.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I want to. I want to congratulate Josh Allen and the Bills for five straight AFC titles which the streak ended today, but five straight's a good number.

[B]

Good job by you.

[A]

That was one less than Tom Brady's second longest streak of six.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

He had 11 and he had six. And then the Bills, who were supposed to own the division like Tom Brady and the Pats did for the next 20 years.

[B]

I think they did the only team to win a division five years in a row and not make the. Not make or not win the Super Bowl.

[A]

So I thought it was not make the Super Bowl.

[B]

Was it not make. Okay, you're all over it.

[A]

With all that said, I'm. That's the team I don't want to see in any part of the playoffs. I don't want to see Josh Allen. I Was talking to my dad about it today, and we were just going through all the teams and we were like, yeah. And then it gets to the Bills. I was, yeah, don't want to see them. I don't want to go against Josh Allen for three hours. Even though, you know, whatever happened today happened, that's still the guy.

[B]

Are you insulted, though, that they have the same odds as the Patriots to win the Super Bowl 10 to 1?

[A]

I think it's fair because the Pats haven't done anything. And we've been down this road with them and the Bears and these teams like this that once it gets to January, I think it flips a little bit. Pats have stayed healthy. Today was a don't get hurt game. In this jets game, Drake had a 99.8 QBR, which was the highest since they started recording QBR. The jets were awful. I mean, it was combo of Drake and the Pats were good, but the jets were really awful. And then they had. They kind of had a rough in the Passer. It was 28. 3. Did you see this?

[B]

Yeah, I did. Yep.

[A]

And Vrabel got pissed and the Pats went into fu mood and drove down and scored. And then they called the timeout with 11 seconds left. It felt like the Pats were back.

[B]

It was 35. Three. Yeah. Vrabel calls a timeout. I mean, I guess he figures, what are the jets going to make me pay for this? And in the year 2052, like, what. What's the downside? But actually the downside is you could be a likable team now that you're good again, but you're choosing not to, so that's fine.

[A]

Listen, today might have been the peak of. The peak of the year for us, like the chance to maybe get a one seed. We win the afc, Josh Allen doesn't win. This might be as good as it gets, but 13 and 3 is pretty impressive. And then you get the thing that was being forwarded around today about how they beaten one team with a winning record.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I said, that's not true. And then I looked it up, I was like, ah, that is true. Yeah, we've had one win against record.

[B]

They just demolished some of these teams, though. I looked up, it was 22 to three in first down. So I was like, oh, yeah? Why even getting off the bus, this is just sickening. And the fact that they have no interceptions still through 17 games, like, as a quarterback, you're. You're Drake, but you're just foaming at the mouth. You're just, you have a free as free a game as you want.

[A]

Well I had the New York football stuff that's in play right now. Other than the four December games by 23 plus points all losses which jets made history there they were down 35 to 3 at halftime to a coach that they passed up on hiring two straight years. They could have fired Salah two years ago and hired him. Frable they didn't last year kind of like tepidly went after him and he was kind of using them as leverage with the patsy. And then you have the Giants Raiders where we have this last 72 hours was hilarious with the injury scratches. Giants, Raiders going for the one seed and you have a bunch of Giant fans in your life and it was like ah, this is how it's going to play out. The Giants are going to be dumb enough to win this game convincingly. I actually ended up putting them in a parlay because I was like they're definitely stupid enough to win. The Giants. Yeah, yeah. I finally ended up today ended up putting them in the parlay but they love doing this. They the Raiders now have an 80% chance of the first pick. Max Crosby's playing basketball and jumping on a trampoline and videos and what a mess. Just a mess all the way around. Sal.

[B]

Well, you know how I hate this tanking stuff right?

[A]

I feel you do.

[B]

December tanking should be reserved for the NBA and the NBA only but and I just, I had my fun with it for sure on the pregame show but and the NFL really took a chance by isolating this game.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like they really like it was that.

[A]

They could have nudged one more early game to late.

[B]

They should have sent this to Australia. This should have been played at 3:30 in the morning and nobody should have seen it because but it's not like anyone's punting on first down or purposely doing whatever. Ashton Gente played the whole game. I know everyone made a big deal out of the Max Crosby thing. He hit an off balance three. He didn't look that good making that three pointer. Like I think if you, if you film our wives shooting at off balance threes for a half hour they're going.

[A]

To make one good point.

[B]

And I just don't like the, I don't know I just, I think it's an arrogant stance by the front office of any team that's supposed to be tanking. Like oh we're not good at hiring coaches, we're not good at signing free agents but get us our draft pick because that's where we're going to turn it around. It's like, no you're not. Cut it out. Just play the game. Play to win.

[A]

I was texting with McShade today and it sounds like if the Oregon QB comes out, like if you look at Fanduel Mendoza who's like supposed to be the number one pick, he's only minus 180 to be the first pick, right?

[B]

Dante Morris right there.

[A]

Morris plus 250 I think, because they don't know if he's coming out yet or not. But it might be a 2 cube so it might have worked out for the Giants. Anyway. The funny thing is the jets are in trouble.

[B]

Yeah, the jets are the ones.

[A]

The jets are the ones that could be in trouble. But Gina threw his 17th pick today. If you thought they were tanking, you didn't see Gino the rest of the year because he was on brand. He didn't do anything differently.

[B]

I didn't see the box store. Did you mean 17th pick today or 17 picks today? Today he threw a 17.

[A]

I think it's 17 picks and 29 drop picks where it landed. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. FanDuel changing the way that you bet live they call it live bet, bet live. Whatever you want to call it. They're changing the way you live bet football. It starts with next Drive sgps. Now you can bet what's happening in the next drive. Could be a touchdown, punt, a field goal, stack your player props, build your bet exactly how you want it. Just tie it to the one drive. Every NFL game day comes with a profit boost you can use on your next drive sgp visit fandom.com bs Download the app today and bet the next drive your way. You must be 21 + President select states or 18 + and President DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration, max wager amount. See [e-mail] Gamprom Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Chad Connecticut this episode is brought to you by LinkedIn Ads. The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, including 130 million decision makers. And that's where it's seven stands apart from the other ad buys, you could target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority skills, company revenue. So you can stop wasting budget on the wrong audience. That's why LinkedIn Ads generates the highest B2B return and ad spend on all online ad networks. Seriously, all of them. Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Just go to LinkedIn.com SimmonsBill Terms and conditions apply. Jags, Colts. Two more red zone turnovers for the Jags in this game. Yeah, old man Phil Rivers going for his first ring. All these shots of his family celebrating in the luxury box to take an early lead, and it's like, here we go. Same old Jags. I know where this is going. And they won. They pulled it off, they staved off, they staved off old man Phil. They finally got him throw a pick. He was having the old guy luck, dropping picks and stuff. And then finally they got a turnover off him. But did it change how you felt about the Jags at all?

[B]

Yeah, it did. I felt the same way about Lawrence as I did with Purdy throwing that early interception. We've seen that.

[A]

You felt like it wasn't going to sink him.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Well, I was surprised when it didn't. I was like, wow, we've seen this. Just put them behind eight ball and then like, they just couldn't come back from it. But like, we, we have a thing where we text the quarterback's name and then an exclamation point after any interception. There's like 70 of those throughout the day. But when that happened, I was like, I'm live betting. And I'm live betting. Jacksonville here, they're just moving the ball too well, otherwise they're doing good. Rivers, I know he owes us one. And also, you can't ask for a lot more than him, right? Like, he, I think over three games, he has four touchdowns, three interceptions, like about 550 yards. That's what you're going to get out of a guy you saw good last Monday.

[A]

And he was moving the ball. Was. He wasn't the reason they lost to San Francisco.

[B]

He didn't really cost them. So Riley Leonard cost him one pass and an interception?

[A]

No.

[B]

Then the Hail Mary. But no, that's a game the Jags have lost a hundred times in four.

[A]

Years, you know, so I felt the same way. It was the first time I've watched the Jags where they had adversity early and a couple dumb Things happened and I didn't feel like, oh, cross em off, you know, I also did not put them in anything today other than a 13 pointees that I sent you guys in the pregame show. But I didn't trust them at all. I didn't know what they were capable of. You know, on the one hand they kind of went for it this year in a bunch of different. Like they have a lot of first round picks. They had a lot of high picks over the last couple years. They traded for Jacoby Myers during this season. They went all in on that Travis Hunter trade and traded all these future assets. So it was a little like Atlanta where they were really trying to be good in 2025. On the other hand, a lot of it worked. You know, like, like when you look like Myers is over and over again third and nine, third and seven, that's. It just seems like that's become the guy. They got ETN going again and I think they're a mildly frisky playoff team. Like they're probably going to be. It's a chance they're going to be a home underdog if it's Buffalo, if it's a 3 6, right. I wouldn't be, wouldn't be opposed to taking them as a home dog in a playoff game, would you?

[B]

Me too. I think, like, and I, I'm pretty brave about this right now, but maybe in a couple of weeks I won't be. But I don't think the Bills have four in a row in them. So I don't know if it's the first one, if it's against Jacksonville or not, but they get stops, they do all the right things. They do all the teams that I just can't believe is this Indianapolis year. The, the strangest of any other. Like their coach dies, they have Daniel Jones, they're 7 and 1, then they're 8 and 2 and then Jones goes out and they just free fall to the bottom. And they signed Phil.

[A]

They haven't won since, right?

[B]

Sauce Gardner. Oh my God, they trade all these assets for Sauce Gardner. So their future is kind of screwed here. And not only it's the AFC south, not only don't they make it at 8 and 2, but two other AFC south teams make it in the playoffs. Like they're not one of them. What a bizarre ass year.

[A]

That first round pick they gave up for Sauce Gardner, which feels like it was 10 years ago.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

And it's like, oh yeah. Well, they're going to be a one or a two seed so that pick will be bottom in the first round. Now it's going to be like 16.

[B]

Right in the middle.

[A]

So great trade for the Jets. What do they care? I actually wrote down in my notes does is there an MVP case for Daniel Jones even though he only played half the year.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Like gets hurt, they never win again. Maybe he. Maybe he was the mvp. That should be an NFL honors the the award for I didn't realize you were until something bad happened or whatever that's called.

[B]

It's so funny because I had in my notes that's why I would pick Ben Johnson for coach of the year because he gets double the double fu we saw with Detroit. Can't get a first down for some reason. And all what he's doing with the Bears worst to first deal.

[A]

Jags, Colts. Unbelievable turn of events for the Colts and the Bucks. And I was trying to think like is this unusual or what? And it's just the season so fucking long. We talked about this last week. The season is just too long. It takes forever. Guys get injured. These big injuries, you've a cluster of injuries. You've just your season flips. Dolphins, Bucks. Where I don't know if you saw this, but the Tampa players, they had a press conference about an hour ago. They announced they've run out of ways to quit on Ted Bulls.

[B]

Oh well, yeah.

[A]

They said we've tried everything. We've lost seven of eight. We've tried to lose games at the end. We've tried to get killed during games. We've tried to seem unprepared. We' try to have games where we have 12 penalties. We don't know what else to do other than not show up for the next game. We've exhausted our options.

[B]

Not only are they trying, the other teams are trying too. We're going to give you Quinn Ewers on a platter. We're going to give you the 17 point lead. Everything else, but I don't get it at all. And I have this team to win a division. I stupidly took them. You might still win it, make it. I guess. I just them and the Lions like how I look up and I see that they'll have 10 points in the fourth quarter.

[A]

I'm like how does this happen? How did these.

[B]

Who was calling these plays here? This is outrageous. And I don't want to hear about Tristan Worth. I get it. But yeah, you know, I watched every single play. He had time to throw the ball, right? He had time throw the ball downfield. He actually had that one Scramble where he really should have been. Like, he should have been flattened in the pocket, and he rolled left and he got a first down, and then he followed it with, like, the worst interception you'll see if you live to be 150 years old.

[A]

He has picks in the last seven games. I was thinking that. Well, two things, two awards for him. I think he took the season lead for hospital balls today. I think his receivers are now terrified when they're over the middle because his balls, you have no idea where they're going. But the Baker Mayfield award for the guy who looked like an MVP for five weeks and then completely died. And by the end of the year, you wondered if he was going to be on the team next year, which I think started with Russell Wilson that one year when. Remember, Russell Wilson had that awesome September where, like, he's never won the mvp. How crazy is that? Is this going to be the. By the end of the year? It was like, he might be out of the. Out of Seattle, but Baker became that guy this year. You know, just the gamut of emotions.

[B]

When the Browns are like, yeah, man, we did the right thing. Okay? That's what. We might have done the right thing with the Baker.

[A]

They might have felt that way until Sanders threw that pick. He threw the lob. Hail Mary.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Interception. Then they're like, nah, maybe we didn't do the right thing.

[B]

I think he has a different form of a hospital ball. Like, he throws it to the sideline. Like, he'll throw. Overthrow Mike Evans by the sideline, but Evans has to die for it.

[A]

Out of bounds and he could get hurt.

[B]

He'll run into, like, eight guys with jackets on and stuff. Sometimes it's his own guys. But, like, he gets up.

[A]

Yeah. What's that? That's not a hospital ball. That's like. It's like a collision ball.

[B]

Yeah, right, right. Yeah. He's like, that's.

[A]

Who's the guy that. What's that? All State. The guy from Oz who's always banged up on All State Mayhem.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, whatever. But. Right. He was Ryan O'Reilly. And I see.

[B]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[A]

Yeah. He throws the All State balls. It's like collision insurance. He gets like, nobody's safe. Cameraman, assistant coaches.

[B]

He should do a commercial for sure.

[A]

So this is my favorite stat. I did a lot of research during the late games because there were only two games to watch, and one of them was the complete abomination. So during the commercials. Bowles. Todd Bowles. This might be his second division title where the team went 8, 9. That's like hall of Fame candidacy material. Nobody is ever doing that again. Like, how many. How many losing record division champs have we ever had? He's going to do it twice.

[B]

Mike Tomlin's like, get off my back. You see what's going on in Tampa.

[A]

He's like, at least I go 9 and 8. I was thinking they could win the title, go 8, 9. But they'll still. They'd already planned on firing him after week 18. They might just do it anyway, right? Just bring in whoever. Bring in Bruce Aarons to one last thing on that game. First of all, I don't feel like that's an easy Pats Dolphins game next week, even though we haven't guessed the line yet. I don't know what it is, but I think that Dolphins have been reasonably frisky 80% of the time for two months here. I mean, they had just.

[B]

Okay, two weeks off of that Pittsburgh game was an abomination on Monday.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Who they played last week, Cincinnati, who was left for dead. And then they. I don't know.

[A]

I. Yeah, but then they look pretty well, I mean, of course, needed the game.

[B]

I know they look fine today.

[A]

Well, Tampa's still alive because the Panthers couldn't beat the Seahawks. And I was texting with Danny Kelly and Mina Kimes about this. Two Seahawks fans asking them if the Seahawks have. Have finally beaten out any confidence they had in January. Is there any. Is there a small piece left? And it's. I think it's gone. I don't think you can watch this team for three hours a week and think they're going to win a couple straight playoff games and make the super bowl today.

[B]

You thought that when they beat Carolina.

[A]

No, but just when you watch them for three hours, it's like, this is all cute, right? There's just no way they're actually going to make the super bowl with this team. Darnold has 20 turnovers, which leads the NFL. Seattle has 28 turnovers, which is the second highest. And they. Here's another stat for you. They've only gone for it on 13% of the first downs this year, which is the worst in the NFL. So the coach doesn't trust the offense. The offense still turns the ball over all the time. It just feels like it's ready for a January playoff tsunami for them. So.

[B]

So you trust them least out of the three NFC west teams?

[A]

I think out of all the good teams, I trust them the least. I just don't trust our offense. Their offense hasn't been good for two months. I don't see how it's going to change. Just take out JSN as much as you can. What else are they going to do? I guess screen pass to Kenneth Walker. What else is left?

[B]

And sometimes that works like all game, all three hours. And sometimes you don't see it at all. But I don't know what to do with this. I feel like I have to step aside. Sam Darnold. That's 26 wins in two years. 26 wins.

[A]

Well, their defense won the game today. Bryce Young had 54 yards passing total, which is the same number as times Panthers fans have switched their opinion on him. I think they're now glass half empty on Bryce. But like a week ago, it's like we might have a guy. I don't. I. It's almost like it needs to end. But what would you do if you're a Panthers fan, would you want him back next year?

[B]

He threw 24 times. You could have 54 passing yards on like six or seven attempts, but not on. Not on 24.

[A]

Yeah. What was that? You mailed me that stat? Who was the guy, the last guy?

[B]

David Woodley.

[A]

David. David Woodley in 1980.

[B]

Yeah. Sorry. David Woodley. I'm. We don't bring you up that much, but that's.

[A]

Sadly, I'm old enough to remember David.

[B]

Woodley and he was not good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, if I, if I can get Malik Willis, I would do that over Bryce Young, I think. I mean, he's going to get paid now, Malik Willis, isn't he?

[A]

Would you take Mac Jones over Bryce Young?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Because I think I would.

[B]

I don't know. It's close. I just don't think this team should be anywhere near where they are anyway.

[A]

We just can't escape the crumminess of the NFC South. And the funniest thing is the best QB in the conference now or the division now is Shuck, who, no doubt.

[B]

It's not even close, is it?

[A]

It's just. I mean, he was 22 for. He gets the Titans, but he was 22 for 27 for 333 and two TDs. Name anyone he played with today, like who was on his team. It was unbelievable.

[B]

If you actually look, Alave has like nine touchdowns. That surprised me. I looked at his numbers and everything.

[A]

Yeah, Lava has been his one guy, but they had. He had Vale, who I had on my. My fantasy team for a week. He's out for the year, but they've. They lost Kamara. They've lost all these guys. Shuck is now plus 120 for offensive rookie of the year on Fish.

[B]

Saw that. I don't. Why is he behind Ted McMillan? Like, I, I know you shouldn't get too excited about a win over the Titans, but this guy's solid and he's not going to really lose your games like this. And like you said, he's by. I know I'm being facetious.

[A]

I think he's better than solid. I honestly think he's better than solid. I think he's legitimately pretty good.

[B]

Well, he has more 300 yard passing games than Drake. Maybe, so maybe.

[A]

And he's tough. We talked about him last week. I was texting with McShay about it because McShay was all in on him from the Senior Bowl.

[B]

And what a name dropper you are. McShay and Mina, Danny Kelly.

[A]

I have more. I have more coming.

[B]

Nick Woodley.

[A]

But McShay was wondering, these older QBs, maybe this is an inefficiency now in the NFL. These guys who have just lived some life instead of just bringing these, hey, maybe think of that Oregon QB who's going to be 21 next year. Maybe that's not a good idea to bring in the baby.

[B]

No, I know.

[A]

It's like this old guy has bounced around.

[B]

We've seen both, right? We saw like Bo Nix a million starts and a lot of these guys are going to have like 60 starts. Purdy. So we've seen it go both ways. But I might rather have an older one. Except that when you sign him that contract, then you have a big decision to make when he's like 29 years.

[A]

Old the first time. Right. So the Seahawks win next week. They're playing the Rams. I'm sorry, they're playing the 49ers. Which number one seed would you feel worst about? Denver or Seattle?

[B]

If I'm the opposing team.

[A]

Just you in general. From a gambling standpoint? From a football fan standpoint. Yeah, Just everything like which one? Which one makes you queasier out of those two.

[B]

See, you're going to say Seattle, but I think Denver.

[A]

I would say Denver, yeah. Because at least Seattle's defense, we've seen them really turn it up. Whereas Denver's defense, I'm not even sure where we totally are with it at this point.

[B]

Denver Law, they beat the jets by two, they beat the Giants by one, they beat Davis Mills by three, they beat the Raiders by three, and then they beat him by seven. That was, you know, all right, that was a weird one.

[A]

Casey game was alarming. Like, Casey almost beat them.

[B]

Chris Olen by seven.

[A]

Was that Kelsey's, like, wide open on. He's the only receiver they had.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like we've seen them do open up their offense and play great, but that's half their schedule. I just read to you.

[A]

Well, I was thinking. I was looking back at the 2008 season because I was trying to think of the last crazy. I've mentioned this before, but the last really, truly crazy season. And that was the year when Pittsburgh played Arizona in the Super Bowl. But I was looking at the first round where. So things that happened that year. Arizona was a 9 and 7 champion that then made the super bowl and just kept upsetting people. The chargers were an 8 and 8 division champ. They, of course, won in round one. But if you look back at round one, I think all of them were upsets. The Chargers beat the Colts. The Eagles beat the Vikings. The Ravens beat the Dolphins. Each one, it felt like. I think the underdog maybe won outright three of the four. And it just kind of kept going and was just one of those stupid years and then ended up with a Pittsburgh Arizona, which I think was the birth of the Gary Russell prop.

[B]

Oh, beautiful.

[A]

But looking at that first round made me wonder if that. If that's what we're headed for this year with even more games where we're going to have six games, round one, or we can just have like five upsets. I just.

[B]

And I texted you, like, and I texted Bill Simmons. I'll drop a name like, an hour ago. I was like, man, this is. We are going to have. It's going to be impossible to make money in the playoffs because who do you trust? I think your overall point is Denver and Seattle. You're not getting that trust factor because you're not getting that go to quarterback, the one that's been there for so, so many years. But I guess, well, we always look.

[A]

At it like, yeah, who can we put as the anchor of a tease or parlay? Who's like a minus 2 50, minus 307 point favorite, 7 half point favorite? I don't have the team. I don't like. I don't trust the Niners. From what we saw today, their defense can't stop anybody. They're going to like, they're going to have to outscore somebody, which is what they did today for two hours. But then they finally had to punt, and it felt like they were going to lose the game. Not to mention if you have one turnover. So couple more games. Quickly. Brown Steelers, which we thought the league. This was the one you rig if you're going to rig a game. Not that the league's fixed, but if it was, this would be the game you fix where the Browns win. Now, there was no DK Metcalf. That was the case for Browns Moneyline. Who had that on the pregame show? Somebody must have Browns money line. Right?

[B]

We've had a few of us had plus three and a half or plus three.

[A]

Yeah, I thought Browns without Metcalf, Rogers was helpless. 39 attempts for 168. It looked like the classic bullshit Steelers game that they're going to somehow win. And they didn't win. They lost.

[B]

I mean, deep exhale from Roger Goodell as Rogers sailed that fourth down pass out of the end zone.

[A]

He had.

[B]

He got his Sunday night matchup for 18. But yeah, man, I, you know, I don't want to. I'll give Miles Garrett credit. It really, it seemed right, like, yeah, they were just too worried about stopping me. They weren't worried about, like winning the game. Like, they really didn't plan. They were moving him around and he was a pain. And Rogers didn't throw downfield until like late in the game when they played prevent, which was driving us crazy. He got like two or three first downs in a row, but it is the same old Pittsburgh team. Like, they're either going to go nine and eight or they're going to be a first round casualty. So that'll be that.

[A]

I wonder, like in classic Pittsburgh fashion, will Metcalf somehow get exonerated? Because there was a story today about how when he played for Seattle, the same fan messed with him. Will they review it and be like, no, actually, we can't suspend you for week 18. And then all of a sudden he's back there playing Baltimore. Sanders had a couple good throws, had one of the worst picks I've ever seen in my life. They did not score 14 points. There was a stat that they lead the league in the 2000s. They have six wins where they didn't score 14 points. So congrats to the brown spans. You guys did it. The Steelers looked awful, though. And I've learned not to bet honor against them in these games. They're just a complete stay away now.

[B]

Right. What are we going to do next Sunday, though? Two of these?

[A]

I guess we're gonna have to bet on that.

[B]

Yeah. You know, when. When Dion is hiding behind his cowboy hat, things are bad. You could you can't spin it anymore.

[A]

That was tough. Yeah. Saturday football. We had the Derek Henry, fuck you game. 216 and 4 TDs. We had a ridiculous Texans win over the Chargers that I still can't believe. I lost kicker dicker, Mr. P18, a field goal. Gaston dropped a what's just set, sent an interception up in the air. Herbert was amazing. The Texans had two long passes and then did nothing else the entire game. They've somehow won eight straight. I don't know what to make of them. It was a weird day of football. Which game did you take more out of?

[B]

I mean, that Ravens packers game. I would have thought under. I would have thought there wasn't going to be that much offense, at least from Baltimore. And I don't know, I. I look at it, I'm like, Harbaugh kind of blew it for this team if they don't come away with a win Sunday night against the Steelers. Like so many times. He had a healthy Derrick Henry available to close out a game and just forgot about him. What? He had two 16 and four touchdowns. He has almost 1500 yards and 16 touchdowns. And what do you have, like 18 carries against you guys and 10 against Cincinnati.

[A]

Didn't play against us in the last seven minutes.

[B]

Why, like give does he just forget? Like, set an alarm. The game starts at 1. Set your alarm for 3.

[A]

15.

[B]

And then your iPhone goes. It has all kinds of like audio sounds, like radio and canopy and chirp and story time. Just get the alarm you want and put him in. Like, it's insane.

[A]

Hire a Derek Henry advisor.

[B]

Yeah, that was very weird. I tell you what, I don't mind Huntley in the playoffs if it comes to this.

[A]

I don't. Somebody will make this a story. Tuesday, Wednesday. Would you rather have a healthy Huntley.

[B]

Or a banged lama? I'm not saying that, but I don't mind him. I don't think he's not awful.

[A]

We'll see. Would you rather have a healthy Huntley or a banged up Lamar?

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You're going to ask me that.

[A]

Like, if Lamar can't really move around like he normally does.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's hampered and he just doesn't seem right. It's at least a discussion. I know they'll go with Lamar because he's been in the big games, but.

[B]

I love the Ravens. If he can't move like Huntley did yesterday and the other team knows about that, then yeah, it's Huntley I love.

[A]

The Ravens on Saturday night had multiple Real life bets on them. And somehow in Ringer 107 lost our Ravens bet because yeah, we moved it to four and a half. Did the under of like 55. And of course what were the odds that game was going to have over 50 points, much less 60. It's 65 point game.

[B]

Willis and Huntley always, always a corner burner.

[A]

Yeah, Willis is. That's worth a gamble. I think in the off season. Like that could be the reclamation guy this year. Right.

[B]

Yeah. We were talking about on the pregame show and Matt Flynn got his bag.

[A]

As you'll say that's the worst, worst version of this.

[B]

But at least There were like 25 good quarterbacks back then.

[A]

Like right?

[B]

Yeah, it was a stretch, but they were good. Quarterback Malik Willis is a no brainer at this point. Like he could start for probably six teams.

[A]

Mitchell and Matt Flynn, those were the two famous ones.

[B]

Mitchell, right.

[A]

Scott Mitchell was a classic. And then the Christmas was awful. Did you have fun at least with the Cowboys? Washington.

[B]

Oh, that's great. That's it, man. I keep. You know, we did our Netflix thing and then we watched Josh Johnson looked like a playoff quarterback. But yeah, the. That was fine. Cowboys win.

[A]

Rosmer versus Goff was amazing. Especially if you had the Vikings and then Broncos. Casey was abysmal. I have. My parent corner is going to be about that. Actually, I have one last thing for you. Go.

[B]

I was going to say that Detroit thing. Let's just put another nail on Dan Campbell's coffin. I think since he announced he's calling the plays, that offense has been a complete curiosity. Like he, he's. I think that's the worst plot proclamation of 2025. Him saying, hey, look at me. I'm calling the plays. It just all went.

[A]

Yeah, I've got this. Like dad's driving now. Give me the steering wheel.

[B]

I've got it. Kids, get out of the way. I think I. I wrote down top four worst proclamations of 2025. It's Dan Campbell announcing that he's calling the plays. It's Pam Bondi saying the files are on my desk. It's me announcing my nickname for the Pat's qb. Or it's Drake maybe.

[A]

Drake maybe. Yeah. Follows me everywhere.

[B]

Or you announcing your addiction to hot water with lemon. So I think we should put that to a poll.

[A]

Those four.

[B]

You have it. Look at you.

[A]

I got a new thing actually.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Let's hear it. Well, I did something you're not going to like. What is this? Been waiting to tell you.

[B]

Is this in the top four? Is this a new entry in the top four?

[A]

What's your. You're not going to be happy at all. Christmas was my last day eating bread and dessert.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And really, any sugar.

[B]

Oh, stop it.

[A]

I'm done. I'm done. And guess what? I feel great. I think I've been really good on the podcast so far. You can feel the difference.

[B]

Would someone give you a skirt for Christmas? Like, what? What?

[A]

No sugar in the morning on my coffee. Just coffee and half and half. No dessert. I'm just done. I'm done. I realized sugar was just, like, bad for me as we get older, and I'm just gonna try life without sugar for a while. All right.

[B]

Of course. You're right. But don't do it.

[A]

So the only thing I've allowed myself is hot water with a little honey in it. Just a little, so I can taste it. And that's it. That's what's keeping me alive right now. Because I can't have dessert. Pizza. No pasta anymore. I'm giving up a lot of stuff. But you saw me do this in the 2010s. You saw me do this for, like, four years. I was pretty committed.

[B]

You're always asleep.

[A]

Yeah. Bianco's out. Chris Bianco's gone. He's out of my life.

[B]

That's terrible. That's terrible.

[A]

Out of my life. Turns out I didn't really need him.

[B]

Congratulations, Dan Campbell. You bounced from the top four worst proclamations.

[A]

I figured you two of them now. I made a list to celebrate the end of 2020 five of my list of things during the typical NFL weekend that I've given up figuring out of. Seven things. Driving the QB into the ground on a sack, being either a penalty or not a penalty, depending on how the linesman's feeling on this specific play. I've just given up. Sometimes it's like if you wrap your arms around, but it's for 1/100th of a second too long, or you push. You have to tackle him, but you can't tackle them too hard. You have to kind of pull your arms as he's landing. You have to pull your arms back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But even then, it might be rough in the passer anyway.

[B]

I'm just giving about that. I think that's fat shaming. I think any. Anyone who is bigger than the quarterback, if you weigh four more pounds than the quarterback, you can't drive into them and complete a tackle.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't like that.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's fair.

[B]

No Pizza, no bread.

[A]

Taunting, penalties, just. There's no rhyme or reason them anymore. I watched there was one in the Browns game today that was. It was awful. There was other ones where the guy stands over a receiver and that nothing happens. They just. That's arbitrary. Right. When you can take your helmet off on the field has. Now we've gotten really flimsy with this, right. You see this a lot now as the guys are walking off. They just take the helmet. This used to be like dating back to Dwayne Rudd. This was like you can't take your helmet off to get to the sideline. Now it feels like maybe you can take your helmet off. I don't know what to think anymore. They don't call it. When was the last time you've seen them call that?

[B]

Yeah, you're right. They haven't called it. They're not content.

[A]

Caleb does it a lot. Caleb does it as like he's not even on the sideline yet. And it's off.

[B]

Good, good. They should have flagged him. Yeah, I know. If you get it ripped off, you could basically. You get a free. Like you could do a chorus line on the field with your helmet off.

[A]

You can do whatever you want. Do a podcast. Yeah. Four more. This was really important yesterday in the Chargers Texans game. And it goes both ways. These pass interference bump clutches after 5 yards, like 6, 7 yards, right when the guys are tangled up. And then sometimes it's offensive pass interference because the guy pushed off. Other times the guy held too long. And it's just game to game. You have no idea how to interpret it. And for some reason it decides games left and right. And they've never decided on an explanation.

[B]

And whoever the rules analyst is, they take the side of the referee in that case.

[A]

Every time.

[B]

You can't do that, it's like you're getting scolded by the principal. Like, don't do it, don't do it. Just don't.

[A]

You can't push off and break away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then offensive pass interference is the other one where we've seen especially near the sideline. Now they're calling the little shove offs, the pick when the guy's going for it, but they're not calling the opposite when the guy's getting shoved. Then it feels like they bent it against the receiver. Second to last one tackles, the left and right tackles, being able to jump backwards for the snap. We just don't call that anymore. I don't know why. I don't know. It's. It's a It's. It's a false start every time you're allowed to do false starts. And then last but not least obviously, is continuation catches on TDs. Which one was on touchdowns. It wasn't this week. But just. It'll happen five times a year and we've never landed on. What's fair? Not fair.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You have to do the Lambo leap and still have it in your possession for it to count. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

It's stupid. You can run four steps of that. Flip it to the cheerleader. It's like. No. Flipped it too soon. Didn't count. Not a catch. I don't know anymore. Is there any. Any other ones you can't figure out?

[B]

I just, like, my thing always is trying to draw the guy offside. This is not a rules thing. But trying to draw the team offsides from the shotgun in a loud venue. Like, you're never going to do it. No one. I appreciate when you try to draw a team offsides and then punt it, but don't do it from the shotgun. I don't understand. Don't you want. If I'm screaming at you from six inches away, you're gonna be more startled than if I'm seven yards away. Right. And everybody else is drowning me out. So that's. That's my big pet peeve.

[A]

Well, the new people are trying. The new one people are trying is in the shotgun. They do this really fast, hoping somebody's gonna jump and. But it's. Everyone knows that trick now. I see that.

[B]

I just don't. If I hear something, I might jump.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like. But if I see that. And we also laugh at the guys trying to down the punts now. Like, nine times out of ten, everyone. Everyone should just run off the field if you're trying to down a punt inside the five because you're ultimately going to kick it into the end zone.

[A]

Or have we always text about that with our friend Hench because it's his favorite play in sports. When the punt's about to land at the one and the punt defender guy steps on the goal line or fucks it up or goes to throw it back and ends up throwing it forward. And the one today was epic, though, because the guy saved it on the Eagles. Was it the Eagles? It was the Eagles. The next guy comes in to make sure the ball doesn't go to the goal line, but steps on the goal line. If I was the putter, I'd be so mad. But this is where we need Hanch as special teams coordinator. Just be like. And there's Eagles special teams coordinator Kevin Hatchet and he's just like.

[B]

Why he's left the building. He's the Zamboni machine ran him over.

[A]

He just stabbed the traitor.

[B]

Yeah, any anytime you, me or Hench and make a better play on something like that, it's not good.

[A]

The one I almost added, but I do think the refs have a handle on it, but it always takes them an extra 15 seconds. That I have no idea. Why is the is intentional grounding when the guy when the QB throws it away and it's clearly intentional grounding, but they don't call it. And then 15 seconds pass and the refs kind of look at each other and then they huddle up, right? And they're like, yeah, that probably was intentional grounding. And then they throw it. I don't know why we need 15 seconds to wait on that.

[B]

Hopefully in the next couple years replay assist will be broadened and we can just immediately let that take care of a lot of these things so we don't have to worry about it.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra, the official beer partner of the NBA. While the NBA season is heating up, the best moments are served cold. Just like a refreshing McGlob Ultra Superior light beer with only 95 calories. Nothing better than enjoying the games with a crisp, cold beard in your hand. And even better to see them in person. Luckily for you, that's where Michelob Ultra comes in, getting you closer than ever with a chance to see all the action in person. With courtside tickets to NBA games and more, Michelob Ultra Superior is worth playing for. Enter now@michelob ultra.com Courtside Michelob Ultra Courtside 25 to 26. No purchase necessary. Open to US residents 21/plus begins on October 1, 2025, ends on June 30, 2026. Multiple entry periods. See official [e-mail] Courtsite for free entry, entry details, prizes and details. This episode is brought to you by Chime. A great team avoids dumb penalties, so get Chime on your side to help avoid dumb fees. With Chime, you can bank fee free, unlock your paycheck early, and with qualifying direct deposits, you can get 1.5% cash back on eligible everyday purchases while building your credit. Start banking smarter today. Sign up for Chime in minutes. Terms and conditions apply. See chime.com for details. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and the secured Chime Visa credit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC optional service and product may have fees or charges. [e-mail] feesinfo with a qualifying direct deposit. Earn 1.5% cash back on eligible secured Chime Visa credit card purchases on time. Payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. Learn about credit building and more at chime. Com Playoff matchups right now would be Denver with the one seed, Pat's Buffalo. But as we discussed, that's not. It's going to end up either Pat's Chargers or pats with the 1 seed, Jacksonville Chargers, which we've already seen, which might end up morphing into Jacksonville, Buffalo.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Pittsburgh, Houston. So let's say. Let's be smart and we'll say Denver, Chargers, Pats, Buffalo, Jags, Pittsburgh, Houston.

[B]

And then in the Pittsburgh or Baltimore.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Pittsburgh or Baltimore against Houston. Then Seattle in the nfc, Bears, Packers, Eagles, Rams, Panthers, Niners. So I just gave you six matchups. Panthers, Shakies, game to lose right now, like minus 200. What is it?

[B]

Yeah, I think so. That's pretty good.

[A]

Do you think they'd put the Niners in the. In the Shakies game? Early start Saturday.

[B]

You don't think they'll go AFC south for one of these?

[A]

Like, could.

[B]

Could Jags Chargers make it?

[A]

Could be Jags Chargers. I think that's the other one.

[B]

Could be one of those.

[A]

If it's Jags Buffalo, they're not putting Josh in the first playoff game, right? Because that's like, he's the most famous QB left at this point.

[B]

If we're getting Rams Eagles in that first round, that's. I mean, if we get Rams Eagles. I know you don't want to think about it. And Pat's Bills, that's a solid. That I go back to my paths would be incredible.

[A]

Yeah, there's no question that would be a. Who has the ball with two minutes left? Just prepared. Mostly the Bills could be missing. Bill said, fucking Brandon Cooks today. Made four big catches for them. I don't even think he was on an NFL roster 5 years ago I.

[B]

Said to my son, like, did you know he was on the Bills because he's their best receiver right now? That's it.

[A]

Right? He was the only guy who could get open deep. And Brady was like, oh, cookie, you know, if you played with him, you let. I was like, he played with him a year. Settle down. Guess the lines. Week 18. What's our score? 9, 8.

[B]

I mean, you're going to win because I. I don't even think this week should count. These lines move around so much throughout the week. Coaches lie about quitting. Well, because I was off 40 points over 12 games or whatever probably.

[A]

First game Saturday, NFC south on the line. Tampa home for the Pack Panthers. I mailed you two games because we knew what we were getting. Two games. So I, you know, I actually had these.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's in Tampa. I don't like either of these teams. I'm going to be hard pressed to wager on this game. I think it might have to be a 13 point tease and that's it for me.

[B]

Really. Which way are you at?

[A]

I don't know. I just like that's that. Or maybe put both of them in it. Bucks minus three was my guess.

[B]

You got it exactly. I said three and a half. I thought it was a little too much for Carolina to handle. But it is three. Little caveat here doesn't necessarily get Tampa the division with a win if Atlanta wins.

[A]

The craziest stat of all time.

[B]

Really nuts. Atlanta, who's been eliminated? Atlanta's been done for a month ago. Yeah, I don't know. But if they were to beat the Rams and then beat the Saints next week, wouldn't matter if Carolina won or lost, they'd be the champs.

[A]

So Carolina gets the south if Atlanta beats the Rams, who might not have anything to play for anymore and might just say fuck it with tomorrow's game. And then based on that, he rested.

[B]

His guys last year.

[A]

McVeigh.

[B]

Did that line move? No, it was eight and a half.

[A]

I wrote down my guess.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

We'll get there. Well, it's tomorrow.

[B]

You're talking about tomorrow's line.

[A]

Did that line move still seven and a half.

[B]

Seven and a half. Yeah.

[A]

The funniest thing about tomorrow. So you have that weird Rams thing where now suddenly the NFC south is tied to it. But then you also have Kyle Pitts potentially swinging fantasy titles tomorrow night. Right. This guy who everybody's had, everybody's spent a gone a couple rounds with and waved or hated it or hated the experience. And whoever landed him around week 12 just like hit the lottery basically. He'll probably have 40 points tomorrow.

[B]

Yeah, I, yeah, I think this is. I have a bigger thing about fantasy later in parent corner, but I feel like this week should not be utilized. I mean, imagine having Puka in your lineup and McVeigh says, hey, we're sitting everybody. Like that just sucks. Like week. Week 16 is when I think fantasy should end.

[A]

For now on apparently Cahouse Said the chat voted for hot water and lemon as the worst proclamation of the year.

[B]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Pam Bondi's off the hook.

[A]

All right. Damn it. Can't believe she couldn't beat me. Bucks Panthers. I feel like should FanDuel let us do some special bets for this? I'm gonna ask them, like, should we be like, will this game have a pick six?

[B]

Oh, I see.

[A]

I think. What were the odds on that? Plus 200 pick six, plus 300. What would be the odds for a pick six in a game that's clearly gonna have a pick six?

[B]

Oh, I see.

[A]

Yeah. Normal pick six odds are like 15 to 1 or 10 to 1, whatever. This is like almost a lock. Somebody's throwing a pick six, right?

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Some kind over undertook combined interceptions. Two and a half.

[B]

That's good. I think so. Down attempted down punts where the guy steps in the end zone. Seven and a half.

[A]

I would say there's stuff you wouldn't be able to bet on. Like number of times the fan base quit on their quarterback during this game.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I mean, if Tampa. Think about this. They're minus three at home against Carolina to make the playoffs. Like, if they can't win this, what the fuck? If we. If we talked about this in September, like, here's Tampa season. They just have to be Carolina by. By three.

[B]

They've had so many bad losses. So many bad. I mean, imagine they lost that Thursday game to Atlanta.

[A]

They're killing them Saturday night. NFC west on the line. One seed on the line. These two teams can't believe they're not playing on Sunday night. They don't know what else they needed to do. Niners home against the Seattle Seahawks, and I have the Niners favored by two and a half. I feel like that's low.

[B]

I don't know why I went the other way.

[A]

I thought it was tic tac.

[B]

I was right about that. But I had Seattle as the favorite. It's San Francisco one and a half. So you get it.

[A]

I went too high. Wow. So they full tic tac it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a.

[B]

That's a good one, man. It's a good one.

[A]

This is. I'm going to apply all playoff manifesto lines to this game. And one of the number one rules of the playoff manifesto is please study the quarterbacks long and hard and think about who you'd feel good about having in this game. Not feel good about having Sam Darnold. Just.

[B]

Period.

[A]

I just wouldn't.

[B]

How about McDonald on the road. Like that's good. Like it's all I.

[A]

How about the team that doesn't ever want to go for it on fourth down in a big game?

[B]

No, I get it.

[A]

That sounds terrible.

[B]

What they play week one, San Francisco beat him week one, right? 17, 13.

[A]

All of these NFC west games have been close across the board. I like the Niners. I do think it probably not awesome to have the six day turnaround for this one. Yeah, right. And late. Like all of a sudden they're playing five days from now. They just had a pretty grueling Bears game. McCaffrey looked like he's going to have to fly to Italy or Germany or somewhere to get some stuff.

[B]

Get the LeBron juice.

[A]

The marquee game Sunday night. AFC north on the line. Ravens at the Steelers. We assume no Lamar for this. Probably.

[B]

I can't say anything. I can't say.

[A]

I assume no Lamar. I think the Ravens are favored either way. I think Mike Tomlin is exactly where he wants to be as a home underdog in a must win playoff game. This. He must be delighted. I have Ravens two and a half.

[B]

All right, you're going to get this. I said Ravens by one. I thought that was fair. And it's Ravens by three. You're going to kill me. I mean these are the ones I'm closing.

[A]

I like the Ravens.

[B]

That's what they want you to say.

[A]

Could I lose, Could I lose one more time on the Steelers this year? They said it couldn't be done. They said I couldn't lose Nighttime on them. If Metcalf doesn't play like you. I don't know how many people listening are like watching all the games. You really had to watch that game. Like how fucking helpless they were. Like they just didn't have anybody open. They're trying to run their normal garbage. Steeler plays with like back shoulder throws and little loud pass in the end zone. Like they, they're running them with like, you know, their number nine receivers.

[B]

Sometimes their defense gets mad enough where it just doesn't matter. I mean think of how surprised we were when they lost in first week in December and in Baltimore.

[A]

Could this be a Ravens alt line like ravens by 20? Like if they win, they're really going to win. Like it's like almost like that, that packers Game or Outline 17 or something where they just run all over them.

[B]

Look, if Harbaugh gives Henry the ball more than 12 times, like they could actually. Yeah, yeah, it could be that.

[A]

Well, think about the Ravens.

[B]

I'm scared to take the minus three here, I know they're better. I know all this stuff. It's all what you're saying. But there could be one more screw job in there for us.

[A]

There's no question. All right, next one AFC number one seed on the line. There's two games. Broncos home for the Chargers. Really tough one to figure out from a Chargers standpoint what their motivations are. Yeah, the Chargers lose, they fall to a seven seed. Unless Buffalo also loses. Right. The Chargers win to get the six seed. Did they care? And then the Broncos. Do you feel good, them getting a lot of points over anybody? I didn't know what to do. I did. Broncos minus seven and a half in Denver.

[B]

All right, you're going to be closer now. I said nine and a half. It's six and a half. But I think this will go to nine and a half. I think some, you know, Harbaugh, like I said, is going to lie and he's going to say Herbert's not playing. And then he's going to play like one series or something. And I think it'll go up. Everyone, the right people will know about it, but I'm very much looking forward to putting that on a moneyline parlay and losing.

[A]

I think the Broncos are a must for a moneyline tease. Yeah, like, they, like, pencil them, as in as an anchor. I don't see if it was like the Chargers going from a seven seed to the five seed. Maybe. But you have the Texans playing the Colts, who. It sounds like Phil Rivers has done, like he talked about these two. I think that's it. I don't think he's playing week 18. So that's Riley Leonard. So odds are Texans win that. So Texans are going to be the 5 seed, it looks like. Right. So if you're the Chargers, like, yeah, I'd rather play Jacksonville, but is it. Would you rather just get the rest?

[B]

And they don't care that teams rarely care about that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Five, six or seven.

[A]

Well, the Patriots are home for the Miami Dolphins. And I think this line is going to be higher than it should be. They lock down the two seed. If they win, they could get the one seed. If they win and Denver loses, I have the Patriots by 12 and a half. Whoa.

[B]

I said eight and a half. It's nine and a half.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That'S good. So that's a second anchor for your moneyline parlay.

[A]

It is Quinn Ewers on the road. I just want to point that out.

[B]

It's gotta be. Yeah. Which is. Isn't that what we saw today. Yeah. Quinn Ewers on the road.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we saw that today against Tampa Bay. So that could be a.

[B]

That's two.

[A]

Not gonna blow seven pointees.

[B]

You can't blow that. What did you beat them the first time? 33, 27. That was ages ago though, right?

[A]

I think we get Milton Williams back for this game. Yeah. And then Will Campbell. Not until round one.

[B]

I don't think he's just throwing all over the place. I think it'll be similar to what it was Burrow that threw four touchdowns against them last week.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Against Miami.

[A]

It's also odds are cold weather. Miami and cold weather. There's some good signs for this.

[B]

Forgot about that.

[A]

Yeah. The late east coast start always makes me nervous. But as we discussed. All right. AFC seating on the line. Three games. Texans, Colts in Houston. Houston gets the three seed with a win if Jacksonville loses. Houston gets a five seed if they win. And odds are it's Riley Leonard. I think the Texans are a classic. Be careful when they're favored by more than X amount of points. And we're probably here. I have Texans by eight and a half.

[B]

You're going to get it. I said seven and a half. I don't know why I thought it was Rivers, but. And I'm not even sure what do you think there's a point difference from them, but anyway it's ten and a half. Oof.

[A]

That's too high.

[B]

Is that three?

[A]

That could be our three right there. They can't really run the ball. They scored on the first two drives yesterday and then for the next two and a half hours did nothing.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

That's a lot of points.

[B]

See, I'm more. I think it's more likely that a team playing for a draft pick screws up this a teaser. Than a team like the three teams we just mentioned. The Raiders, after all this could beat the Chiefs and then that'll be hilarious, right?

[A]

I don't think Pete Carroll would find it hilarious. They probably told him like, we'll bring you back next year. Just make sure you lose. Interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they'll fire Jaguars home for the Titans. Jaguars lock down the three seed with a win. I didn't. Look, I think the Pats get the two seed either way, win or lose. I don't think the Jags flip over them, but I might be wrong. But you know, there's a lot of moving pieces. But I think the Pats are locked into a 2 seed.

[B]

Wait, 12 and 4.

[A]

13.

[B]

They'd both be 13 and 4. You say new England goes over Jacksonville?

[A]

Yeah, I think. I think they've been over them and all the weird tiebreaker stuff, but maybe I'm crazy. Regardless, jags, I have minus 14 over the Titans.

[B]

I said 13 and a half and it's only 10 and a half.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Didn'T they screw something up? Was it the Jags or the Colts a few years ago on week 8?

[A]

This could be it was. It was the cold. No, it was the Jags.

[B]

It was Lawrence, wasn't.

[A]

It was one of those AFC south teams.

[B]

I remember it, wasn't it?

[A]

No, it was Indianapolis. It was Carson Wentz.

[B]

That's what it was. And we all had them on every single.

[A]

I'm not. I will tell you right now, I'm not putting the Jags in a team. I still don't 100% trust them.

[B]

Yeah. Do you 2% trust Cam Ward?

[A]

Well, we know there's going to be a wonk game. We know it. We know one of these games is going to be fucked up. And that thing that scares me is it could be the Dolphins. And then. Did we do Bill's Jets? We didn't. Bill's home for the jets. Bills stay the 7 seed unless the Chargers lose. You could make an argument they might throw the game away and not give a shit and rest Josh Allen for a week, but I did not factor that on my line. They're in Buffalo. I said bills by 14 and a half.

[B]

All right, it is bills by 12 and a half. But you're going to get it because I said nine and a half.

[A]

Killing you this week. I think the.

[B]

So it's Trubisky if it's not Josh Allen. Like, even if it's a couple. Like, the great thing about this is you don't have to worry about throwing interception against the jets because it's just not going to happen. Yeah.

[A]

Any. Any turnover at all. Yeah. Trubisky's hall got a thousand yards.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The jets need to get a top three pick. They'll probably rest everybody. Did you. Do you think if.

[B]

Do you think the. Bill, the jets and the Giants are now lumped in for every stat like their home record like MetLife is just extraordinarily bad and they haven't had a winning team in however long. Do you think at this point they should be like, hey, I want you guys to start including Buffalo when you talk about New York teams.

[A]

Right, to boost our numbers.

[B]

Yeah, boost our numbers. It'll take the. Take the attention away from us. A little bit. I think they should.

[A]

That's a really good idea.

[B]

They should make a statement.

[A]

Yeah, I like that. I can't imagine the Bills. I mean, this is a 10, 10 point teaser. I'd feel good about the Bills in there unless they were starting to arrest people and just throwing it away. But we'll find out as we get closer. All right, NFC seeding on the line. Bears. Lions mentioned that earlier. They get the two seed with a win. The Bears. And it's in Chicago. I don't know what's going on with Detroit. What would you put for odds on Dan Campbell on the Fox studio show next year? I asked you, like, before 2030, but what about next year?

[B]

No, next year is, what, 20, 26.

[A]

Nine months from now, September.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

They get rid of Bradshaw, there's Dan Campbell. Or they get rid of Gronk.

[B]

One bite. Kneecaps, one. No, I would say that's still plus 1,500.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He needs another year.

[A]

I love Gronk. He's the best tight end I've ever seen in my life and one of my four favorite Patriots. It's upsetting to me how Fox uses him, and it really makes me mad.

[B]

Why?

[A]

You use him like he's like the village idiot. Like, they came that halftime of the game today, which is the only game I didn't watch, and they go, and he's standing on the second level and there's a table, and Kurt Menefee is, like, awkwardly standing next to this table, and Gronk's like, at halftime, am I gonna jump through that table? And it's like, what is he, Our drunk uncle at Christmas is like, oh, Uncle Gronk's going to knock over the Christmas tree. Watch this. Like, this is a football studio show. He's the best tight end of all time. Why are you making him like a self parody? I love Gronk because. What are the producers doing with this?

[B]

His predecessor is Terry Bradshaw, who's got, like, he's got a pee.

[A]

So that's it. They're grooming him to be, like, the next person everyone makes fun of.

[B]

Well, you can.

[A]

I don't know. I think Gronk's podcast is good. The one with him and Edelman, like, there's a lot more there. And then on that show, they make him seem like the. It's like, oh, he's like the fucking wacky neighbor in an 80s sitcom that comes over. It's like, oh, Gronk's here. Oh, he knocked over. He knocked over. A plant. It's like, is he, like, how did he end up with this role on the show?

[B]

I honestly think there's precedent and that he is grooming. Bradshaw's grooming him. That's how. I mean, this is the best tight.

[A]

End of all time.

[B]

You're, like, getting upset that Sammy Hagar screamed dreams during his songs. Like, yeah, this is what family hand went. That's what they did.

[A]

That's what.

[B]

David Lee brought this. It's fine.

[A]

It's upset. He means a lot to me. Gronk just, like, show Grox. Am I gonna jump through this table? That's coming up next. It's like, what are we doing? It's a network television show. Rams. Oh, that'll. By the way, that'll be on a sports blog with, like, a really angry headline.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Bill Simmons eviscerates Fox's use of grunt cast.

[B]

Apologize now. You shouldn't be.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna apologize at all.

[B]

You're not gonna do it.

[A]

I'm glad. I'm glad. Give this a Sports blogs, they're meat. Okay, just treat Gronk like He has an IQ over 80, because I'm. I'm pretty sure he does. His podcast is good.

[B]

He's.

[A]

Are you sure we. Conversations.

[B]

Because I think it rang in a 77.

[A]

Am I going to jump through this table? Rams cards.

[B]

No, we didn't do Bears.

[A]

Oh, we. We still didn't do Bears.

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, Gronk jumped through a table. I got distracted. I have the Bears by eight and a half.

[B]

All right, so we're going to have to talk about this because I said six and I'm staring at this line.

[A]

And the Bears are favored by one and a half, which means we. Did they lock down number two?

[B]

We must have read misread something.

[A]

So we fucked up.

[B]

We must have, right?

[A]

What's their record? Oh, I know what it is.

[B]

They did lock down, too. No.

[A]

Well, because they beat Philadelphia.

[B]

I don't think so. The lose so.

[A]

But Philadelphia and Chicago the same record. So if they win and Philadelphia wins, it doesn't matter. They get two seed. Yeah, but why wouldn't they want to win this game? They'd want to be the 3 seed.

[B]

No, if they lose and Philly wins, they have the same.

[A]

Philly's the two seed.

[B]

We're going to go through this. One sec. We used to be able to press pause right now.

[A]

Philly's 11 and 5, Chicago's 11 and 5. Chicago beat Philly, so they have the tiebreaker over them. But if they lose and Philly wins, Philly is in the two seed.

[B]

I guess they don't care about the two seed. I mean, they are still playing a game.

[A]

That doesn't make sense. We gotta be missing. Can Kahal. Can people in the chat. If we're missing something with that Bears game, please put that in the YouTube chat.

[B]

No, you've read it, right? They're both 11 and 5. So if they lose a game to Philly, they're not going to. They're going to be a three seed.

[A]

Yeah, but why wouldn't they want to win and be the 2 seed? And Detroit season is over.

[B]

These teams just like to rest. It's just better to have a rest unless you have a shot at a one seed. That's just how it is.

[A]

So they'd rather be the three seed.

[B]

So three.

[A]

That would mean they would play the Rams. I'd rather play banged up Green Bay than the Rams, like a hundred times out of a hundred.

[B]

Tough to beat a team three times. But you're probably right.

[A]

Ask Rob Gronkowski, who's currently drinking Drano. Drano is our sponsor of the halftime show. Gronk has the Drano taste. It's the best tight end of all time. Protect Gronk. Hashtag protect Grunk.

[B]

Put them on the ringer. Should they put them on with Kellerman and Rich?

[A]

Paul, do something. Anything's better. Yeah. All right. That's crazy.

[B]

I would have thought it was like six. I mean, that is what I guess.

[A]

Rams, Cardinals. It's in Los Angeles. The Rams are basically locked into the six seed. I still think they're going to be favored by seven and a half in this game.

[B]

All right, I get this. I said eight and a half. It is nine and a half. Am I coming back here? Not really.

[A]

No.

[B]

Six, four, six, four. Yeah.

[A]

Coming back. You're coming nowhere.

[B]

I mean, if they're gonna. If they're gonna maybe sit guys tomorrow when they also maybe definitely sit guys. Week 18, that's. That's high. I know. Arizona sucks.

[A]

So if you were the Rams, would you sit Puka and Stafford for the last two games and just get them ready and anybody else you have who's banged up and just get them ready for round one. Cause as you mentioned earlier, they've done this.

[B]

They have done it. They didn't do it two weeks before. They did it on week 18 last year. We saw Jimmy G out there. But. But I wouldn't do it because I would feel bad for everyone who put a teaser in on them. Like Tuesday or Wednesday and wasn't thinking this through. Like me.

[A]

I have the Rams in one Rams tomorrow. And a thing that all the other pieces hit thinking that they were a lock and now they might not care.

[B]

It's not good.

[A]

Eagles home for Washington. Eagles locked into a three seed could get the two seed with the Chicago loss. And as I said earlier, I still feel like that two seed matters because you get to play Green Bay. Who's missing? Everybody. I have Eagles by ten and a half.

[B]

I get this. I said six at seven and a half. See, we're all over the place here.

[A]

Why is it seven and a half? Are they think they're going to arrest people?

[B]

This is Josh.

[A]

Boston is Josh Johnson.

[B]

That's such a stupid guessing game. This is the hardest week.

[A]

So we have five games left. What's the score? You come back.

[B]

So you're up six.

[A]

Five. You rope me. You said I was gonna win.

[B]

Well, I think you got all out of sorts with this Gronk thing.

[A]

Gronk sent me in a tailspin. This game means absolutely nothing. Packers, Vikings, and yet Green Bay is the seven seed.

[B]

Either way, I'm off by three points. So you could steal this one easily. I went low.

[A]

It's in Minnesota and I did packers minus two and a half in Minnesota.

[B]

Packers minus two and a half. Yeah, I said Vikings minus two and a half. It's Vikings minus five and a half. Oh, you're going to lose your shit.

[A]

What in the hell?

[B]

I mean, they're definitely sitting people, right? I mean that's not. We're going to see guys who. We're going to see some like milk farmers or something from Wisconsin.

[A]

What are the Vikings have to play for?

[B]

You know, I mean think about what Brosmer and Jalen Hurts did. Like they, they had almost negative yards passing combined, like just. And they both won. Wow.

[A]

Okay, next category. Four games left. Top three draft pick on the line. First one. Chiefs at Raiders. Chiefs at Raiders. We just saw what the Raiders are capable of this week.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

It's in Las Vegas. I wanted to put this in the Vegas zone in honor of the Raiders, but I had to bump it up a point. I did. Chiefs minus six and a half.

[B]

Well done. I had five and a half. It is six and a half exactly.

[A]

And not touching it. Can't cheese the tease the Chiefs.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Because their quarterback is Michael Ola. Candy. Whatever his name is. Can't put. Can't put a first round pick. His number one.

[B]

I. Yeah, I get that the Raiders know the assignment, but is Chris Ola Doken going to play ball.

[A]

Next one's a little harder. Cowboys at the Giants. Giants won today, screwed up their chance at the number one pick, and now we'll be somewhere in the top five. Cowboys. You don't have your pick, right? Oh, you don't have your pick.

[B]

We're doing all right.

[A]

But you don't have your pick. But you have the packers pick, right? Yeah. You get the worst one of those two.

[B]

That is what happened.

[A]

Yeah, I've. Cowboys minus seven and a half is my guess for this.

[B]

All right, I get this. I said six and a half. It is currently five and a half.

[A]

Yeah. Vegas. Okay, last one. Bengals, who are just peaking at the right time here. Home for the Browns. I have the Bengals by seven and a half.

[B]

We split it. I said six and a half. It is seven.

[A]

All right, so one game left. What's the score?

[B]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. 5, 6, 7, 8.

[A]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. You fucking rope it open.

[B]

That gets tied. 6.

[A]

God damn it.

[B]

7. I swear it's tied. But is there one game left? Yeah, there's one.

[A]

Falcon Saints.

[B]

I'm off by two points.

[A]

Falcons, Saints in Atlanta.

[B]

You're going to steal it.

[A]

Falcons. Saints in Atlanta. Saints showing signs of life lately. I have the Falcons by three.

[B]

Yeah. Congratulations. It's two and a half. I said it's two and a half. I said four and a half. Oh, that sucks. That's all. I came back for nothing. By the way, we have a lot of money. Me, you, house hench. Bet the Saints to come in last place. We have to really give it like 20 minutes. Thoughts of how we're going to hedge out of this.

[A]

If the Falcons win one of the next two, we're good, right?

[B]

That is. Let's see.

[A]

Wait, where are.

[B]

Where are they?

[A]

They're. Falcons are one ahead of the Saints.

[B]

No. So they're 6 and 9. So if they win their 7 and 9 tomorrow, Saints are 6 and 10. If they both end up.

[A]

They have the same record. They have six. Both have six wins.

[B]

Six wins. Yeah.

[A]

So we're gonna have to hedge this. How is this even? We should have won this 40 times over.

[B]

They're gonna have the number one pick. Could he win, Coach?

[A]

So what do we have? We had Cleveland, Tennessee and the Saints, right? Just those three?

[B]

Yeah, just those three. And the Jets.

[A]

Maybe the only thing that could stop us was Tyler Schuck.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

In probably getting the job and then playing so well that he's now one of the favorites to win. The offensive rookie of the year. And that's exactly what happened.

[B]

He beat everyone in that division.

[A]

Sickening. I lost some crazy future. I was. I thought I was like going to win 75% of my futures that I made before the year. Today I lost the Browns.

[B]

I had.

[A]

I had three and a half wins under, which was plus 200. Lost that one. I had the Miami Dolphins under six and a half wins. That was like plus 185.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what were they, one and eight or. It seemed like that was a lot.

[B]

They just played a bunch of cupcakes. Like six.

[A]

Stupid shit like that.

[B]

Yeah. What are you going to do? We're excited. When it's August, you got to fire away.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures. Ever hit rock bottom and find yourself on stage telling jokes? That's the new film directed by Bradley Cooper. It's called Is this Thing On? Starring legends Will Arnett, Laura Dern, Andra Day and Bradley Cooper. It's all about a guy trying to get his life back by throwing himself into the New York comedy scene. So I saw this film. I thought it was really good. I thought Arnett was great. My wife loved this movie. I just wanted to mention that. So I think this checks all the date boxes. Is this Thing On? Is now playing in select theaters. Get tickets today. This episode is brought to you by Workday. There are two kinds of people in the world. Backward thinkers and forward thinkers. Forward thinkers have plans 15 minutes from now and 15 years from now. They're not just one step ahead, they're 1,000 steps ahead. And when you're a forward thinker, you need a platform that thinks like you do. Workday's AI illuminates decision making and reimagines how you manage your people and money for long term success. Workday moving business forever forward. Find out [e-mail] Parent Corner presented by Greenland2Migration. Saw an ad for this during football. If you loved the disaster hit film in 2020, the end of the world was only the beginning, apparently. Gerard Butler, Monora Baccarin. They're back for the sequel. Oh, no, I call it her. It's Morena Baccarin.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Morena Baccarin.

[B]

You're dumber than Gronk. You can't.

[A]

For the sequel. More on that later about Greenland 2 migration. We're doing parent Corner, though. What do you got?

[B]

All right, so I mean, Christmas, great. Everyone's home together. Got the tree going, the gifts.

[A]

It's beautiful.

[B]

It's fun. My son Jack My middle son gave me the best gift the father could ever receive. We were scheduled, he had a wrestling tournament Friday, December 26th. Weigh ins were at 7am in Upland, California, which is a good hour and a half drive. At 5:30 in the morning you could get there probably an hour and 20 minutes. So I was gonna have to be up on December 26th at 5:30 to take him to a tournament and then he was gonna the wrestle. The tournament didn't even start till 11 so I was gonna have to sit in my car and bet like ep, English Premier soccer, Christmas Eve wrestling practice. He throws up in front of the coach and three other kids throw up.

[A]

This is like the fourth throw up story with Jack we've had on parent corner.

[B]

Oh, he's so good at vomiting. And the coach is like, see you Monday. It's like you did it buddy. You did it. What do you want? Do you want to. Do you want a pony? Whatever you want for Christmas, I'll get it for you. God bless you.

[A]

And so the poison cheese its you gave them that had like the stuff to ex Lax stuff to make him throw up. Well actually it was.

[B]

That was it. Yeah. And now I'm not eating bread or pizza. No, that's you. But so that was what a miracle for you? Really great.

[A]

Really was a Christmas miracle.

[B]

I can't thank him enough. Honestly I was, I was so relieved to not have to get up at 5:30 in the morning. I have another one. So fantasy football is just awful, right. I'm in a high stakes league and I'm in the finals. So second place is nice prize but first place is a ridiculous.

[A]

We did some texting about this. Yes.

[B]

And I have a decision to make. And going into Saturday and it's basically Christian Watson or Alec Pierce. Right.

[A]

And so, so have you checked the history of this? Whenever somebody has a 5050 decision like this, they lose 100% of the time with who they picked.

[B]

Is that, is that there's actually no.

[A]

Hey, I researched this. Nobody ever has the positive story of they picked the right person. It's always the wrong person.

[B]

Didn't break the streak this time. So I, I'm thinking. All right, Malik Willis, Christian Watson, he also had the red flag. He had the red flag. Everything's pointing against it. Alec Pierce had two touchdowns last Monday. Crazy figure. Philip Rivers loves him. He's in sync. So I asked, I asked you and Hench, I asked my buddies Brian and Darren. I asked my buddy Alec, it was named Alec and still didn't say so I Said, everybody says, watson and my son Archie. I'm like, archie, I'm going to let you be the deciding factor. And he's like, actually, everyone said, pierce, I'm sorry. So I said, I'm going to let you be the deciding factor. He's like, start Pierce, pick up Barner. He's looking through the things like, pick up the tight end in Seattle in case something happens to Pierce in the morning. I'm like, all right, that's a good idea. So I take Watson out, fricking goes nuts. Immediately, their first touchdown. Yeah. Malik Willis, like throwing to him like they were college roommates. It was so in tune, like, it's insane. He puts up 23 points and I'm losing my mind. Yeah. Like, I come downstairs and I'm like pacing and everything. And Archie's like, huh, Watson? Huh? I was like, yes, motherfucker. I'm like, curse under my back. He's like. And then Watson will catch the pass and he goes like, goes to high five me. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

[A]

He's taunting you.

[B]

He's like, yeah. I was like, well, this is not, this is not, you know, like you're gonna stay in your used Corolla Tercel. Like if, right. If he score, like, he's like, what? You put Watson in the lineup? I'm like, no, I didn't. A lot because of you. I said, pierce and like. And we picked up Barner. Remember all that?

[A]

He's like, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I didn't. Okay, I didn't hear you right. I was like, yeah, you certainly didn't. He's like, oh, calm down. Now you're fighting now we're like arguing over this. And so I'm getting mad. I'm like, whatever. I end up losing by 60. So that's good. I'm not gonna lose any sleep over this. But I don't think anyone should ever play fantasy for anything more than pride. I just don't like because now Archie and I will never be the same.

[A]

Right? You can't come back relationship. That was it.

[B]

We're never going to be the same because of sister Christopher Watson. That's it. So I don't even know what the moral is. But fantasy don't play fantasy don't play fantasy.

[A]

I had that last week with CJ Stroud just single handedly murdering my season. And then I'm watching the Chargers game yesterday and he's just immediately. Two 70 yard bombs to start the game or whatever happened. I'm like, of course why do we do this?

[B]

But you're right. There should be sharp and square picks like what you. What everybody would go with is the square pick. So I should have started watching Just Zag. Yeah, he's got the red flag.

[A]

Well, in our knockout league, it looks like our friend cohost, MOOC good job is going to win the league with McCaffrey. As we mentioned earlier, he's had. This will be his fourth title since I won my last title in 2007. And we, we still use this dub CBS site. And it has all the champs dating back to whenever you started the league, even before I was in it, before I moved to la. And this is how sad it's become for fantasy for me. And by the way, I won our Guillotine league. I've won the league I'm in with my college and high school buddies. I've hit that. But somehow I can't get over the hump. I went back and I looked at my 2017 like I was looking through an old photo album. Yeah, I went through it. I'm like, oh, man. Tomlinson, Peterson, Carson Palmer was so good. They had. Romo was on the team. Wes Welker, I'm just going through. I'm like, ah, that was such a great year.

[B]

You should have a reunion. 19 years coming up.

[A]

18 years, 18 years ago there on the site. Anyway, congrats to the mooc.

[B]

He's won four times. You should win it once in a while.

[A]

You think I would win once in a while. I'm good in all the other leagues. I know my parent corner. So Christmas night, my kids are excited. And by the way, my kids are barely kids anymore. My daughter's gonna be 21 in May and my son's 18. All that Christmas, they just want to race through it because Netflix is releasing the next three episodes of Stranger Things. That's all they care about.

[B]

I love that you're on TV Christmas.

[A]

But they never even came over to the TV for that.

[B]

No.

[A]

Could have cared less. Stranger Things is coming. So we set the dinner so that we can finish and everybody can get out of the house by, I don't know, six o'. Clock. And then they're gonna watch Stranger Things and it's going head to head against the NBA. It's like the end of the second to last game and then Denver, Minnesota, which I was excited about, but I have the setup where we have the big TV and then I have the two side TVs so I could watch Denver, Minnesota. I'm like, it's Christmas. I'm gonna hang out with my kids. I'll watch Stranger Things with them. Which I think was almost four hours because the episodes were longer than an hour. So it's episode five, six, seven, but somehow not the eighth. I've never seen the show other than the first episode six years ago. I have no idea what's going on with any of it. I'm just completely out. I don't know anything, and I'm just watching the show. But I'm really watching the basketball, which turns out to be this incredible game. Jokic has like, a 55, 15, 16. It goes into overtime. Edwards is the crazy shot. And they're watching Stranger Things. This just seems like the dumbest show. I can't believe this is a phenomenon, but the reason it seemed dumb to me was because I didn't understand any of it. They're so far advanced, and their kids are explaining it to me like, no, no, only 11. And the other person. They're the only two people that can go back and forth between the worlds. And this person can't. They think they can. There's an upside down. And then there was, like, the end of the fifth episode. They're going nuts. Cause something. And I'm just watching it, and I didn't know anything that was happening. And I was like, this must be what happened. When people watch sports with us and they don't know anything that's going on. Like, we're watching football and we're going nuts on every play. And, oh, my God. And whoever's sitting there, they don't care about the NFL and they're kind of annoyed that we're that into it. So it flipped on me on Christmas.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

I was just kind of annoyed by Stranger Things. I was excited to see Winona Ryder. You know, she meant a lot to us. Once upon a time, Lindell Hamilton came in at some point from Terminator. She was playing a bad person. Other than that, if you quiz me on what happened, I don't think I'd be able to answer three questions.

[B]

You can't jump into something like that. That's not like Landman or something. There's so many twists and turns and stuff like that, but that specifically.

[A]

Yeah, it is so far down the rabbit hole for people who watch the show. It is completely inaccessible to people like us.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

I had no idea what was happening.

[B]

No, I had.

[A]

But I'll tell you this. My kids were fired up and excited for four hours.

[B]

They thought it panned out. It played out.

[A]

They were mad at the end of the seventh episode that it was that, obviously there's one more coming on New Year's Eve. I see. Okay. But they were like, ah, now we have to wait. It was like one of those, what.

[B]

Are you going to do New Year's Eve? You're going to have to watch Ohio State play.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

Yeah, it's Ohio State. Miami. While watching the finale, there's a couple.

[A]

And probably some good basketball, too. Need to say I didn't get sucked in. And I feel like now I know what happens for the most part. I don't want to spoil it for people who haven't seen it yet.

[B]

I had to quit because it was, first of all, it was very long. Like, to knock through season four with three, whatever it was was very long. But people do love it.

[A]

The big winner of the show seems to be Kate Bush. Because they keep playing that song. She has.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they actually weave it into the plot. So, like, she must be delighted that that happened. But anyway, Parent Corner. I tried. I tried to. I tried to get into it for my kids. It just didn't work. Today's Parent corner, presented by Greenland 2 Migration. Where were we? That's right, the sequel. Five years after a comet strike devastated most of Earth, the Garrity family leaving the safety of their bunker in Greenland in search of a new home. We'll see. We'll see what happens to them. A disaster film. And my guy, Gerard freaking Butler, My guy from Den of Thieves. What else do you need? Greenland 2 Migration, in theaters January 9th. Rated PG13. I have a quick NBA thing for you.

[B]

Go ahead. And just so people know, this is where I just sit and I nod and I can't contribute more furiously.

[A]

Yeah, but you still. You're on our gambling shows.

[B]

I'm just. No, I'm not.

[A]

The warriors had a really bad. Warriors had a bad loss today in Toronto. Like, a bad one. They controlled the whole game. I actually had it on because we only had two NFL games. So I was watching it and they just couldn't close and they just kind of look broken. I don't know what the fix is. It's. No matter how good Steph is, they can't fix it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Toronto wins an ot. They've just seemed like they've taken whatever iteration is as far as I can go. Then you see the Lakers. I think they're 3 and 6 since LeBron came back. He's kind of screwed up their team. Nobody wants to admit it, but it kind of has. Now they have these Now Reaves is out for a month. The team just has got like Redick is. Seems like he's not handling things great. And I was just thinking like let's. How do you make the league more fun? You have a team that nobody's excited about with the Lakers and a team that feels dead with the Warriors. LeBron for Jimmy Butler.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

That's it. And I looked it up because Bronnie probably has to be in it too. And the warriors can throw in Will Richard. I sent this to a couple people including Zach who got excited about it. Zach Lowe. But it feels like for the good of the sport trade just more fun. The warriors are not fun. I don't see a scenario where they become from. But now you put LeBron on the team with Curry, LeBron reinvigorated and who knows. And then Butler is probably a better fit with LeBron and Reeves anyway. And with Luka and Reeves anyway, who's.

[B]

More likely to say no to that? Golden State.

[A]

I don't know. That's why. Oh, I think Golden State would probably do that.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Because LeBron is an expiring contract in the year. Maybe they throw him one more year. It's a good. Who says no though? Because if you're the Lakers, you can lock in the lower the Butler contract for an extra year because all they care about is two years from now. But maybe Butler's a better fit with what they have anyway because LeBron didn't. Doesn't really seem like he wants to be on the Lakers is my my take.

[B]

And then Bronnie has to come over. Does Jimmy Butler son have to do they do like this Timmy Butler. He also has to be involved.

[A]

Jimmy Butler has any sons. They also have to be in the trade.

[B]

Okay, I think that works.

[A]

That was my idea.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

That's all I got for you.

[B]

Why couldn't you tell me not to bounce back with the Spurs? Not bounce back. Cause they had beaten the the Thunder on Christmas. But I stupidly took them on a moneyline parlay against what was it that.

[A]

Was the most obvious loss possible.

[B]

Shut up. That was ridiculous.

[A]

You know, it was another one. And I would never bet against the Celtics, but this road trip where it's like they're only playing under.500 teams like they keep. And it was like the Portland spot was so dangerous tonight. And of course they lost in the last two minutes I'm hearing. And now they're playing the Clippers who are coming, coming on and they're like.

[B]

Four bad Teams that are playing well now, right? Clippers, the Jazz. The Wizards won. The House's Wizards one back. The Nets are playing well.

[A]

The Nets.

[B]

Stupid Hornets.

[A]

Porter's playing so well for the Nets that they're going to have to like, emergency trade him, it looks like. Yeah, like they're going to have to like, move in the next two weeks before he completely screws up their chance to get a top three pick. There's a lot of teams that are not happy about their team right now, including the warriors and the Lakers, which is why I thought of it. Anything else before we go?

[B]

That's it. We're going to be on mom with Tate Tuesday and then Friday. We've got a lot of college football to talk and it's good time of year. Lots of fun.

[A]

All right. Well, we're on. Our last live show on YouTube is going to be next week. Oh, right after week 18, after the NFC west one seed showdown. We'll be live and then starting on the January 11th, Sunday, coming off three NFL games, we'll be live on Netflix for that one. And then you'll also be able to get it on Spotify. By the way, it is not exclusively on Netflix. You also be able to watch Spotify. They're on Netflix.

[B]

And Spotify, they cut the biggest check. Don't be stupid here. Yeah, no, they. And then in three weeks from then, we're on Tubi. I don't know how this works out.

[A]

This is to be. Those are the classic episodes with us from years past where we're flipping out about terrible best.

[B]

You'll get to see Simmons 2007 fantasy team highlighted video yearbook.

[A]

Like one week I'm eating gluten, next week I'm not. I'm drinking water and honey, what the hell?

[B]

What happened?

[A]

Well, I'm psyched that I beat Pam Bondi because it was a very strange year for a lot of different reasons. But in a lot of ways, I'm glad we're at the end of it. I'm excited for 2026, as always. Good job by you.

[B]

Good job by you, buddy.

[A]

Thanks to Gahal. Thanks to Eduardo as well. I'm going to see you on Tuesday on this feed and then special episode of the Rewatchables tomorrow as well. Bye, Sal. See you, buddy. Must be 21 plus, I'm president in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus, I'm president in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com call 888-79777 or visit ccpg.org Chattinconenetic or mdgamblinghelp.org In Maryland, Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 8003275050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny in New York.