The Bill Simmons Podcast – September 29, 2025

Episode Overview

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal connect late Sunday night to break down arguably the wildest NFL weekend so far: a chaotic Cowboys-Packers overtime tie, a struggling Ravens team, several odd football rules and finishes, the landscape-shifting MLB playoffs, and more. The tone is classic Simmons/Sal: passionate, slightly exasperated, riotously funny, and loaded with incredulity at the events of the weekend.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Cowboys-Packers: A Goofy Overtime Tie

• Cowboys-Packers ended in a rare 40-40 overtime tie. Both hosts found the outcome bizarre yet darkly comic.
• Special Teams & Clock Management: Lots of criticism for Packers' clock guy and both teams’ strange late-game tactics.
  • "I thought that game was such a loss for the Packers... their defense was so bad, I mean they couldn't get a stop. Their special teams was bad. I thought their clock management was bizarre. And then it almost ends with them botching it and it should have gone to zero." — Bill Simmons [07:00]
• Overtime Rules Critique: The new format failed to produce the drama they wanted. Both agree: 10 minutes is too short; more urgency and time would be better.
  • "I didn't feel like it was as tense as I wanted it to be. It didn't feel like sudden death to me. It felt like sudden nap." — Simmons [11:25]
• Cowboys' Kicker Praise: Aubrey called the team’s "most valuable player" outside Dak due to the new kickoff rules and long-range field goal proficiency.

2. NFL Landscape Check-In: Early Season Surprises

Win-You-Over Game

• “Did the Chiefs win you back today?” — Both say yes, but they're still nervous about KC's offense, and point to the Ravens' disastrous defense as a compounding factor.

  • "They have receivers like dancing... you barely break 17 points any week and you guys are dancing around?" — Sal [18:22]

• Ravens “Year from Hell?”: The guys are alarmed by Baltimore’s injuries and historically bad defense pace (560 points over 17 games).

  • "They’re probably the favorite... minus 150 to be the year from hell team." — Simmons [21:08]
  • Noted Kyle Hamilton quote: "I just want to apologize to the fans... obviously something's wrong." [20:01]

• Steelers and Division Races:

  • The AFC North is wide open: Neither buys into the Steelers (even as their record sparkles) or Ravens as strong division favorites.
  • The NFC North: Surprised that Green Bay’s odds still outpace Detroit.

• Ryder Cup Tangent: Displeasure about the possibility of ties in both golf and football. “We can get rid of all these ties,” says Sal. [13:10]

3. Other NFL Team Temperature Checks

• Jaguars: Headlines for leading the league in turnovers (+ aggressive defense), but both hosts see their success as partly “flukish.”
  • "They just seem to be the thing: will the clock expire before they do enough stupid shit?" — Sal [25:12]
• 49ers: Worryingly poor special teams, lagging running attack, and mounting injuries. Simmons: "They just lose points. They’re like the anti-Dallas." [28:51]
• Seattle & Rams: The NFC West is a jumble, but Simmons has bought Seattle futures and both agree the Seahawks have value.

4. NFL Trends & Pet Peeves

• Field Goal Distance Inflation: 65-yarders no longer even make highlights—Simmons marvels that modern kickers are routinely making what was once historic. For a kick to impress now, "I think 70, 71 or 72. We're in Barry Bonds range." — Sal [55:14]

• “Next Gen” Speed Stats Overload: Both mock the TV obsession with on-field miles per hour. Simmons jokes, "I don't care if Bijan was 21.85 MPH. I want to see how fast an ostrich runs, or a bobcat!" [57:21]

• Coaching Age Curve: Discussion about Pete Carroll’s and Belichick’s late-career coaching woes and if 70+ is just too old for head coaches.

5. Around the League – Memorable Quotes & Segments

• On Drinking Hot Water with Lemon:

  • "Nothing that never happens: a football fan drinking hot water with lemon." — Sal [15:30]
  • Ongoing comedic thread of food/health choices vs. football fandom.

• Steelers as Playoff Team?: Narrow margins, weird luck, but Tomlin’s “never under .500” streak seems safe as they’re now playoff favorites (-130 to make the playoffs) [44:53]

• Falcons (the “Zig-Zag Team”):

  • At home they look dynamic (“Bijan and London, these guys should be scoring every single game”) but continue to find new ways to settle for field goals and court disaster.

• Drake Maye’s Progression: Both praise the rookie, but Sal wants to “see it in Buffalo next week” before crowning him [41:23].

6. MLB Playoff Picture and Mets/Red Sox Sadness

• Mets Sadness:
  • "It's one of the most disappointing seasons of my life here... [they] spend $341 million... but when you never win a World Series, it feels like that attempt is futile." — Sal [86:00]
• Red Sox Spunk:
  • Simmons is amazed and delighted that Boston even made the playoffs after trading Devers and losing Roman Anthony to injury. Praises Crochet as their AL ace and lays out the pathway for a two-game upset over the Yankees.
  • "There's just something spunky about them... I'm just glad they're in it. So go Red Sox." — Simmons [03:33]
• World Series Picks: Simmons doubts the Dodgers' bullpen but says the Padres were the best team he saw this season.

7. Ryder Cup Recap

• House (Joe House) is congratulated for having bet Europe early and big.
• Some sadness that so many favorite golfers were on the European side vs. the US. Sal critiques the wealth-fueled loudmouth US fans at the event.

8. Parent Corner

Sal’s Dilemma: Son Wants to be a Cowboys Fan

• Sal’s barber reveals his son wants to be a Cowboys fan, much to his reluctant pride/horror.
  • "I feel like I’m running a business selling fax machines, and I haven’t sold one in 25 years. And now my son’s like, 'I want to do that too.'" [97:12]
  • Simmons empathizes: “You’re giving them a burden, like handing down a disability.”

Bill’s Nostalgic Starbucks Story

• Bill reflects on the closure of his “good luck” Starbucks—site of a famous bird poop omen during the 2004 Sox-Yankees ALCS and his daughter’s impending birth.
  • “Lot of memories. Bird shit, labor. That’s it.” [101:10]

9. Agent Corner: The Babydoll Dixon Debate

• A tongue-in-cheek segment skewering their longtime agent, James “Babydoll” Dixon, for “remoting in” on vital negotiations from a wedding at Martha’s Vineyard, and then bailing for the Ryder Cup.
  • "He doesn’t sleep, so maybe he really was putting in 20 hours a day. Unless it was 20 hours of sunbathing..." [105:40]
  • Babydoll reportedly “did not appreciate” being the subject of this on-air ribbing.

Timestamps for Major Segments

• NFL: Cowboys-Packers Overtime & New Rules: [06:00–16:00]
• Rapid-Fire ‘Win You Overs’, Power Rankings & Division Odds: [17:00–37:00]
• Team-Specific Deep Dives (Jaguars, 49ers, Rams, Seahawks): [24:50–32:00]
• NFL Metrics & Coaching Pet Peeves: [54:00–62:00]
• Guess the Lines: [65:05–83:38]
• MLB Playoffs, Mets/Red Sox/Yankees: [85:16–90:05]
• Ryder Cup Recap: [92:01–95:20]
• Parent Corner: [95:20–102:08]
• Agent Corner (Babydoll Dixon): [103:18–107:19]

Notable Quotes

• "It felt like sudden nap." — Bill Simmons on new NFL overtime, [11:25]
• "They’re like the anti-Dallas. They just lose points." — Simmons on 49ers' special teams, [28:51]
• "I feel like I’m running a business selling fax machines, and I haven’t sold one in 25 years. And now my son’s like, 'I want to do that too.'" — Cousin Sal, [97:12]
• "Lot of memories. Bird shit, labor. That’s it." — Bill Simmons, [101:10]

Overall Tone and Takeaways

• The episode is a rollicking, anecdote-riddled, delightfully grumpy recap of a weekend when even the most knowledgeable fans felt uncertain about what they watched.
• Both hosts oscillate between analysis, nostalgia, and comic disbelief at modern pro sports’ quirks — from the surfeit of statistical data to the endless parade of bizarre NFL endings and coaching decisions.
• It’s a must-listen for NFL and baseball fans who want a blend of real insight, betting angles, and classic Simmons/Sal comedic chemistry.

For those who missed it:
This episode will bring you up to speed on every major sports story of the weekend, then make you laugh at the sheer absurdity of loving these cursed teams.