A Great Week 11, Burrow vs. Herbert, Allen vs. Mahomes, Rodgers vs. Father Time, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast – Episode Summary Title: A Great Week 11, Burrow vs. Herbert, Allen vs. Mahomes, Rodgers vs. Father Time, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
Host: The Ringer’s Bill Simmons
Release Date: November 18, 2024

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1. Week 11 Football Recap

Bill Simmons and his co-host, Sal Iacono, dive deep into what they describe as "probably the best football day of the year." They dissect several high-stakes games from Week 11, highlighting pivotal moments and standout performances.

Notable Quote:

• Sal Iacono [03:09]: "Justin Herbert is throwing such rockets. I thought Elon Musk was living inside his bicep."

2. Quarterback Performance Analysis

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the performances of top quarterbacks:

• Joe Burrow vs. Justin Herbert: Analyzing Herbert's resilience despite being "much maligned" and his ability to make clutch plays.
• Josh Allen vs. Patrick Mahomes: Comparing Allen's playmaking against Mahomes’ strategic prowess.
• Aaron Rodgers vs. Age: Debating Rodgers' declining performance against the backdrop of aging.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Simmons [05:00]: "He [Herbert] had that fumble when he fumbled...but then he made up for it on that last drive with some big plays."
• Sal Iacono [07:36]: "It's crazy how good [the Chargers] are. Like, how is this team not going to be in the top seven in that conference?"

3. Coaching Decisions and Team Strategies

The hosts critique various coaching decisions that influenced game outcomes:

• Zach Taylor and the Bengals: Questioning Taylor's strategies and potential job security.
• Shane Steichen and the Jets: Evaluating Steichen's play-calling and his adaptation to team dynamics.
• Kyle Shanahan and the Rams: Discussing Shanahan’s performance in one-score games and his overarching strategies.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Simmons [07:18]: "Russell Wilson, Bo Nix, Sean Payton, Mike Tomlin. I don't know if they'll be able to top that for the Shakies game."
• Sal Iacono [15:01]: "If Pittsburgh got it... it [playoff seeding] would matter more."

4. Playoff Picture and Standings

Insights into the AFC and NFC standings reveal the intricate playoff scenarios:

• AFC Standings: Chargers holding a strong position at 7–3, with discussions about Miami, Indianapolis, and Denver vying for the remaining spots.
• NFC Standings: The Detroit Lions emerge as favorites, a first in FanDuel’s history, with other teams like Green Bay, Washington, and Arizona also in the mix.

Notable Quotes:

• Sal Iacono [22:32]: "This is the first, not only the first time this year, the first time ever they're favored to win the Super Bowl."
• Bill Simmons [23:09]: "Minnesota's got the inside track on the five seed unless Green Bay or Washington."

5. Betting Insights and Line Predictions

A lively segment on betting strategies and line predictions underscores the hosts' expertise and analytical approach:

• Favorite Teams: Chargers near the top, with discussions about potential upsets and the reliability of certain teams.
• Underdogs and Parlays: Strategies involving underdogs like the Raiders and the implications of recent game performances on betting odds.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Simmons [27:39]: "I had them with Pittsburgh. I had them with Denver. Detroit minus three."
• Sal Iacono [59:32]: "We put this on any teaser from now, whenever, however long you think you're going to be betting."

6. Memorable Moments and Notable Quotes

Throughout the episode, Bill and Sal share humorous anecdotes and memorable moments that add flavor to their analysis:

• Commentary on Announcers: Praise for analysts like Justin Tucker and critiques of others.
• Anecdotes: Personal stories, such as dealing with family members' struggles with technology and memorable interactions with guests.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Simmons [11:35]: "It's almost like Richard, who is the tantric sex guy. Sting."
• Sal Iacono [35:26]: "They’re not even favored to win the division, but they're."

7. Parent Corner and Personal Stories

In a lighter segment, Sal shares a heartfelt and humorous story about his son Jack's wrestling match, highlighting the challenges parents face with their children's extracurricular activities and the unpredictable nature of youth sports.

Notable Quotes:

• Sal Iacono [93:05]: "He threw up on the mat...but he convinces him to let it keep going, and he makes it 10 to 8."
• Bill Simmons [95:10]: "If you were smart, you would have done..."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast offers a comprehensive and engaging analysis of Week 11’s football games, quarterback performances, coaching decisions, and playoff implications. With insightful betting strategies and memorable personal anecdotes, Bill and Sal provide listeners with a rich narrative that is both informative and entertaining.

Final Notable Quotes:

• Bill Simmons [86:00]: "Why are we just watching that? We didn't have to."
• Sal Iacono [101:40]: "Hello, my friends."

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For more detailed discussions and analysis, listeners are encouraged to tune into the full episode on The Ringer’s platform.

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

Coming up, probably the best football day of the year. We're going to talk about it next. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by Ray Ban Meta Smart Glasses. Built with Meta AI Ray Ban Meta Smart Glasses react to what you see so you can learn more about the world around you. You can also take hands free photos, videos, send messages, make video calls, even play music and podcasts straight from your glasses with Ray Ban Meta. This episode is brought to you by Simplisafe. While you're watching your team win or lose, get home security off of your holiday shopping list because Simplisafe is already having a Black Friday sale. How is that possible? It's an easy way to protect your home and loved ones their active guard. Outdoor protection is one of the reasons why I love using Simplisafe. It prevents crime before it even happens. Agents can see potential intruders in real time, talk to them, set off your spotlights and call police. And with Simplisafe, there's no long term contracts, no cancellation fees, and it's around $1 a day. This week only you can take 60% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. Head to SimpliSafe.com BS to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Again, that's SimpliSafe with two eyes. Simplisafe.com BS there's no safe like Simplisafe. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. New rewatchables coming on Monday night we did the Replacements, the Keanu Reeves football movie that has grown on me a lot over the last two and a half decades. Van Lathan joined me and then afterwards we taped something for the Ringer Movies channel as well because the Rock had a movie coming out red one that knew it was going to bomb, which it did. But we did a whole thing about the Rock's movie career and just what happened. How has his movie career not been better? And why are expectations so low for every movie that the Rock is in? So you can find that on the Ringer Movies channel as well. You can find all the videos and clips from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. You can check out the ringer.com as well. Great website. A lot of good stuff going on at the Ringer lately. I hope you're checking out Todd McShay's new podcast too, which he was going live on YouTube on Saturday nights last couple weeks, which during college football as stuff was happening. So great to have Todd aboard. Great to have Jacoby and Goldsberry aboard as well. I hope you're listening to Mismatch, because Jacoby and Verno have been really, really funny together. So there you go. On this podcast, Cousin Sal's going to join us like he does every Sunday night. It was the best football day of the year. We broke it down Live on YouTube. You're about to hear it. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. Oh, Mike.

[Sal Iacono]

My God, Mike. Justin Herbert is throwing such rockets. I thought Elon Musk was living inside his bicep. I really did, Mike.

[Bill Simmons]

I got no fluids left in my body. I got no fluids left, Mike.

[Sal Iacono]

If they show those commercials with someone making dirty tacos again, I don't. I don't know what I'm going to do outside. So fine.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know what quarterback I like more.

[Sal Iacono]

Mike. Oh, Mike.

[Bill Simmons]

What a game. Chargers, Bengals.

[Sal Iacono]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

I tweeted this with like two minutes left. We've seen that exact Chargers game before. We've seen that exact Bengals game before. We're taping this at 9:00. The game just ended and it was just, it was just. Who's going to do what they do better? Are the Bengals just going to blow a completely winnable game and kick themselves after or the Chargers just going to have a massive choke in a game that seemed over at halftime? And I really didn't know until the. Until McPherson lined up for 51 and I was like, he's not making this. It's not going. It's not going in. But then Justin Herbert much maligned. Not a lot of clutch moments for Justin, made some big throws, won the game. You.

[Sal Iacono]

And he's lucky too, because you texted. You're like, I'm going to torch this mother effort if he loses this game. Something like that. I don't know. Chargers.

[Bill Simmons]

By the smart effort, I was able to fuck again.

[Sal Iacono]

But no, I went through my Justin Herbert progression too. As a fan, you know how quarterbacks go through their progression. Tight end, slant curl. Okay, I'll throw the screen. I went through the whole thing like, oh, my God, look how great he is in the first. This is. How did anyone ever compare him to Tua? He's the best. This is ridiculous. They're going to upset somebody in the playoffs, too. What the hell is he doing? How does he throw seven incomplete passes in a row? He's crushing us. He's overthrowing McConkey and now he's back to being great, I guess.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, huge fumble when he was. He was really running around like he used to a Couple years ago and enjoying the studio space. And then he had that fumble when he fumbled. For anyone who says that momentum doesn't matter in a football game, that fumble was like, oh, no, here we go. I mean, this game had five momentum swings as it was going, but so we had that fumble and then just sailed it over McConkey's head, who was wide open. But then he made up for it on that last drive with some big plays. Is that. Is that a better win for the Chargers or a worse loss for the Bengals? I'm actually leaning toward worse loss. Right. They're all like, they're four and seven now, the Bengals.

[Sal Iacono]

I know they're done like, well, they're.

[Bill Simmons]

But they're not done like afc. They're not done.

[Sal Iacono]

No, I know, but every game's like this, right? It's like that. I.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what?

[Sal Iacono]

They're just like a great sparring partner. That. That's basically what they are at this point.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I like that. They're like Razor Reddick.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, they are. Yeah. They're going to give you their all and they're going to come up short or they're going to win. And it just. But they can't put together three games in a row. I don't think where they went. I haven't really scoured their schedule, but I guess I'll take a look here.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I'll do it right now.

[Sal Iacono]

They're going to kind of get tripped up somewhere.

[Bill Simmons]

The question is whether it's 10 wins or nine, because right now, right now, they're somehow four and seven where they have terrible loss this week. Tail end of the game, Baltimore, week 10, terrible Baltimore week five, terrible. Washington week three. Casey week two. They've. They've had basically five either or games, and they lost their 0 for 5 in the either or games.

[Sal Iacono]

But they have to sweep the Steelers.

[Bill Simmons]

As I week next Week two, with the Steelers left, they have at Dallas, at Tennessee, home Cleveland and home Denver. Week 17.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, that's it, probably. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

So they could get to 9. I don't see 10. 10 means they run the slate the rest of the way.

[Sal Iacono]

So the Broncos would be the seven, Right? That's the one we're eyeing for the seven seed. So that might be for the seventh seed, but I don't know. Are they really going to beat the Cowboys? Of course they are.

[Bill Simmons]

AFC playoff picture. Yeah, they're 4 and 7. Miami's 4 and 6, Indy's 5 and 6, Denver's 6 and 5. Chargers are now 7 and 3. Yeah. It's going to be that Denver, Indies, Cincy, Miami, one of those four is going and Cincy is the best team out of those four. It's not close.

[Sal Iacono]

It's crazy how good they are. Like, how is this team not going to be in the top seven in that conference? And then I think, like I look at it from a fan's perspective, like, oh, we got to get him in as a football fan. But I also look like, oh, I want a shitty team in the seventh seed I could bet against. Right. And this, this wouldn't be them. Denver might be at some point.

[Bill Simmons]

Hench has already locked down Pittsburgh two seed Denver, seventh seed as the shaky Saturday first playoff game of round one game.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, you think? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Russell Wilson, Bo Nix, Sean Payton, Mike Tomlin. I don't know if they'll be able to top that for the Shakies game.

[Sal Iacono]

Didn't the AFC south sign like a 1212 year deal with Shakies? Like they're, they're in, they're until 2038 or something with NBC.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

Whoever wins AFC south and hosts at 4 or 5.

[Bill Simmons]

So that would have to be Tampa, like Washington or Tampa, Arizona, I guess Arizona South.

[Sal Iacono]

I was thinking AFC South. I was thinking Houston and.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I don't know.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, no, no. Who would be the five? Houston, Baltimore, I guess Houston's going to.

[Bill Simmons]

Be a three seed probably, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Are they? Yeah, no.

[Bill Simmons]

Four seed. Oh, yeah, you're right. Buffalo, Pittsburgh, kc. Yeah. Houston's the four seed.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So it could be Houston. So Houston Chargers or Pittsburgh, Denver for Shakies. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

[Sal Iacono]

That's fine.

[Bill Simmons]

This was the day we talked about the kicking was too good. What are we going to do? Should we move the uprights closer? And then today happened where it's just kickers all over the place, just murdering teams, including McPherson in this game with two long ones where a couple years ago it looked like he was Justin Tucker in waiting.

[Sal Iacono]

And then today and he still looks like Justin Tucker.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. But that's not why they.

[Sal Iacono]

Except the new version.

[Bill Simmons]

Now he looks like Justin Tucker right now. But that's not why they lost. They lost because they fell behind 24 to 6 and dug too big of a hole for themselves. It's funny though, when you watch them when Higgins is playing and he's missed like four and a half games and they have Chase on one side and Higgins on the other side, it really is one. And Chase Brown, who I think has been really good this season, and you watch and you go, man, this. How do you stop these guys? It just feels like it's eight yards to the side. Anytime they want, they can go deep. Even when they miss the deep throws, they like just miss them. And I don't know, they just seem like one of the best five offenses to me. I don't get it.

[Sal Iacono]

And then the Chargers did too though, right? And then they. I don't know. Look, I'd suck at it as a coach, but you and I were like, why aren't they running the ball? Run the ball a little bit. Herbert obviously doesn't have it for this 20 minute segment of the game and give it to Dobbins who's like the fastest guy in Southern California and see what happens, you know. And we saw, yeah, they.

[Bill Simmons]

So Dobbins was 11 for 56 and Edwards was 6 for 27. And then Herbert ran 5 for 65. But yeah, that both of those guys, Dobbins and Edwards were four and a half a carry. Dobbins ripped off that last one for the winner. But I was thinking the same thing because as I know the receivers have overachieved for the Chargers. But it's still Will Disley. It's still a rookie McConkey, it's still Quentin Johnston. It's still Josh Palmer at a huge drop on the second last draft. I mean, one of the weird things, the Chargers were like dying to give this game away. They got the ball back with what, 145 left after the missed field goal and you have to run on first down to kill some clock. And they don't. They just threw it three straight times. They gave the ball back in like 13 seconds to the Bengals. And then the Bengals couldn't do anything either. But some of the clock management was bad. I usually think Harbaugh is pretty good at this stuff. Zach Taylor is not. I usually have confidence he's going to do the wrong thing. And now we're going to lose middle seat Doug tomorrow and Zach Taylor is going to move up the what the fuck are you doing? Rankings, I think.

[Sal Iacono]

Interesting. He's got to keep middle seat Doug in a job there. Yeah, that's going to be fun. That's that. That's done, right? That's done. I don't know where you want to jump around to but that game.

[Bill Simmons]

But yeah, I have a spot for them. We'll get to them. Do we? Yeah. So best Collinsworth moments. He had that one where Burrow scrambled out and like did the Houdini thing and then hit somebody and Tarico Finished his whole play by play for another eight seconds. And Collinsworth can just hold the laugh now. It's. It's almost like Richard, who. Who is the tantric sex guy? Sting.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Yeah, that's him.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. It's almost like how tantric sex people can hold the orgasm. Collinsworth can just hold it. Tariko finishes and then is a Mike. Joe Burrow just made the greatest play I've ever seen.

[Sal Iacono]

That's the greatest play I've ever seen.

[Bill Simmons]

Mike, that's a spectacular play. Spectacular.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's good. I hate to brag on him because I really enjoy it.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I love Collinsworth. This is all out of love. We love Collinsworth.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, we love you, Chris.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And by the way, speaking of announcers that we've had fun with, I've had more fun than you, but I thought Romo was really good today too.

[Sal Iacono]

Excellent.

[Bill Simmons]

Like he. He has stepped it out. He had a couple rocky years there, but I thought he was excellent today. We had good announcers today.

[Sal Iacono]

Just a lot of little things that people don't appreciate. But like when, you know, when Mahomes went to the line of scrimmage and was like, definitely not going to draw them off sides and he's like, he's overacting. When a quarterback overacts, they're just. They're letting the clock run out. They're not going to run out. It's like, yeah, you're right. That's. Why didn't we pick that up? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So big picture with this Chargers team. Cause I think they needed one of these. Feeling good about themselves. They're only giving up 13 points a game. Like, how good is this team? They kind of needed a nutcrunch game and they got it, that's for damn sure. But big picture, they're not going to catch the Chiefs. They're in the hunt for the five seed. And I think you want the five seed this year because you get to go to. At Houston.

[Sal Iacono]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

In. In round one, which is, I think, way more palatable than going to Buffalo or, you know, going to Pittsburgh, slash, Baltimore. So I think they can get to the five seed. Right. Did you see anything today that made you worried about them other than the fact that they almost choked away an 18 point lead?

[Sal Iacono]

So you would say, well, they would get there, wouldn't you think? It's either Pittsburgh or Baltimore in the five.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. They have the same record as.

[Sal Iacono]

They have the same record. They both have four. Baltimore.

[Bill Simmons]

No, Baltimore's 8 and 3 chargers are 7 and 3.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

And I think Baltimore is a harder schedule down. Down the stretch.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, it's all. It's all a mess there. I agree. And yeah, they're going to go on the road, but the biggest takeaway here is they had fans. They had fans.

[Bill Simmons]

We said last week we were like, well, here's the one game where they're not going to have fans. That was about as loud of a fan base as we've had in la. Right.

[Sal Iacono]

I feel like we should. There's no way to quantify it. Right. But I feel like their approval rating goes up each week.

[Bill Simmons]

I was impressed. Well, I was impressed by the. By the Bengals that they had that many fans. I don't really fully understand it.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, that's true. That's true, too.

[Bill Simmons]

But yeah, the Chargers, they're here to see Harbaugh, but it's for the Chargers. It's kind of good to you almost feel like you're tested because it really did feel like the crowd was loud and second half. I like this Chargers team. Khalil Mack didn't play today. I like that they can run the ball. And I think that's what they'll probably learn from big picture is maybe run the ball more. If I'm the Bengals, I don't know how Zach Taylor survives the season. This could be another job that's open. And I was thinking, like, it's pretty interesting Belichick job. He's going to get one of these jobs, right? It's an interesting Belichick job. It's a really interesting brable job, but. Oh, Steelers are 8 and 2, the Ravens are 7 and 4. I fucked up. So the Chargers have a better record.

[Sal Iacono]

Losses. That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he did Cleveland, right? He did. He did Cleveland before Belichick, Right.

[Bill Simmons]

So he could do something. He's not going back to Cleveland. Yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

No, no. I'm just saying he could do. He loves Ohio, clearly. No, I think this is definitely the best spot for him, but it's not. I don't know. It's not the offense. It doesn't really matter. Right. Like, get rid of Luan Aroma. Who? I don't know. It's been in for years now. Yeah. Don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm just saying, if you're going for wins, if you're Belichick, if you're. One of the reasons you're coming back is to break the record. I mean, Burrow is the best quarterback available because otherwise you're looking at Trevor Lawrence, you're looking at whatever the Giants do. You're looking at whoever the hell the Raiders QB is going to be. So the big game of the day. This was an awesome football day. I would. I would say this was the best start to finish day we had. Right?

[Sal Iacono]

For sure. For sure. And it gets bad. Gets a little lean next week. But yeah, I love this. There were like six good matchups.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought what was great was no London game, no Germany game. So we just were able to start off hot with some really good games. But then Bill's Chiefs became the best game of the day.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I was thinking, because the Bills pulled it out and it was a really good win for them. I think beating KC is it. Is it the most impressive thing you could do in a regular season in any sport right now where the fans are the most excited, like, oh, we beat Blank Scott. They have to be the mountain, right?

[Sal Iacono]

I think so. I mean, it's so exciting. I read. I don't know if this is true. Like, fans were jumping on through tables like, before the game, even before it even started outside. Yes. In the parking lot.

[Bill Simmons]

This was happening. Yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

But the problem is they beat him in the regular season before. Right. Last year or maybe even like twice. And then they, like, you know, Kansas City's just got that, try it in January, Chip. But it's going to be a lot easier if they, you know, if they get the one seed and this brings them closer.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's a little more special because it was their first loss and it's week 11.

[Sal Iacono]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, you hang that one on. But I did write down and I was texting with the Chiefs fan who predicted this early in the first quarter. Not Nick Wright. Another Chiefs fan. Okay. Little Milton, bro. Ish performance from the Chiefs today. Obviously, they want to win. They're trying to win, but I don't feel like they brought out the kitchen sink. Like, Kelsey was two catches, eight yards. Right. They really was trying to get worthy involved to see what they have with him. They're trying to get Hopkins involved, trying to run the ball a little bit, but for the most part, like, there's another gear for these guys, and the gear is Kelsey. And it's not like the Bills were like, we've taken out Travis Kelsey. They just. There's games where they put him in the garage. And we've talked about it the last couple years where it's clearly a Travis is in the garage game. This is a Travis is in the garage game.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think if this is in January. He has eight catches for 80 yards and a bunch of first downs.

[Sal Iacono]

I was, I was looking at the box going, you're probably right. Because it really doesn't make sense because I look at it. Aside from Allen, they had 49 yards rushing. Right. They still won time in possession by eight minutes. And the defense was very good. They allowed like 260 the whole game. So I don't know what to make of the. Of the Chiefs. I was waiting for like a bad call towards the end there, but that was a ballsy, ballsy call by McDermott. Like they likely lose the game if they go up five and kick a field goal on the fourth and two. They went forward or even more fourth and two.

[Bill Simmons]

They're up two there. It's a little long for a field goal and I don't think anyone watched in the game or in the building, thought Tyler Bass was making that field goal. So they go for it and it turns out to be like a signature awesome Josh Allen play. But you know, we make fun of coaches all the time. I thought it was clearly, you got to go for it. Romo thought the same thing.

[Sal Iacono]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

And. And then you just put. He was. That's what Romo said, I think before the play. Like, you got to put this in Josh's hands. You have to let Josh decide the game, which is what they did. And he ends up coming up with a signature play. But it was a tough one for everyone who had the Chiefs in a tease.

[Sal Iacono]

I was going to say he didn't have to beat him by nine.

[Bill Simmons]

It was just brutal. I had multiple teases in real life. A million dollar picks. Shield Capadia. Our guy tweeted after the game. 124 Mahomes games. How many times has he lost by more than eight points?

[Sal Iacono]

I know. It was 19 before the last loss by no. Okay. I know. More than 8.

[Bill Simmons]

More than 8 points.

[Sal Iacono]

15.

[Bill Simmons]

5.

[Sal Iacono]

Jesus.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow. That made me feel worse about my two teases. I had them with Pittsburgh. I had them with Denver. Detroit minus three. Two and a half. Like I was just. God.

[Sal Iacono]

And we needed. Of course I had it too. But we'll like 3024 will be all right. Casey needs two scores. There'll be a soft Buffalo defense. Right. They'll come down, they'll kick a field goal. I don't know who was kicked, you know, but your SAT out, which is such a girly thing to do. Good thing. He's super secure, but I don't know what they. I thought we were going to Cut it to six and we were going to be all right, but we didn't get there.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what happened? This is how you really know the game. Didn't matter for the Chiefs. Mahomes had that huge scramble to the 30 when they were down nine where they could have like, you know, either try to go for a TD or kick field goal called back flag on the play, holding on the Chiefs. It was like, oh, my God.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, they really don't want him to win.

[Bill Simmons]

The Chiefs in a crunch time moment and pulled back a Mahomes play. We've made fucking history. And the Chiefs fans get mad when you bring this up, but it's just a fact. Those things never get called for them ever. But for some reason that one got called and that was just.

[Sal Iacono]

Both things could be true. They're, they're a great, great team.

[Bill Simmons]

Great team that gets crazy potentially and.

[Sal Iacono]

They get calls at the end.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I mean their whole, their whole dynasty started out with the D. Ford penalty where they lose to the Pats.

[Sal Iacono]

And then that was against them.

[Bill Simmons]

Since then they've, that was against them. And since then they've, they've had some good ones. But Buffalo, I mean, you mentioned it earlier, 19 carries for 49 yards. Yeah, I thought, big picture, I said this last week to you and it's a weird point to make. Good loss for the Chiefs, as weird as that sounds like, get that undefeated thing over with now. You don't have to worry about it. Just, you know, just get through it. You don't have the pressure of it. I, I still feel like that.07 Pats, which I wanted them to go undefeated. I'm not saying I would take that back. That was so much fun. I love that season. But they're better off if Baltimore beats them in that Monday night game. The whole season's different in a good way. And I think they probably win the super bowl if they lose that game. So for the Chiefs, it's fine. They're going to go 15 and 2, 14 and 3, whatever it is, they're going to win the AFC.

[Sal Iacono]

You just don't want to lose that one seed. Right. Like, where do you think the one seed is more important, in the AFC or the NFC? I kind of think the AFC.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I think, I think in the NFC it's almost a wrap at this point with Detroit schedule. I think they'd have to have like five more injuries. Right. I don't think it matters much to the Chiefs because it feels like they could just go and win anywhere. Right. I Think it would matter more for Pittsburgh.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

If Pittsburgh got it. Like when you think like how, how. How kind of crummy Russ was today and they, you know, we're still able to pull one out. I kind of feel like home field is mandatory. I don't even. Not even positive. We'll talk about that game later. I'm not even positive what they do for the quarterback situation going forward because Russ was not great. But Fields comes in, keeps winning. Fields comes in and slides so yard before the marker in a game that would end it. Additional thoughts out of this. So are the Lions officially the best team now? I think they are. Right.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, corn regular season and the odds makers, this is the first, not not only the first time this year, the first time ever they're favored to win the Super Bowl.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that true?

[Sal Iacono]

That is true. I would make something look like.

[Bill Simmons]

Was that one of our. Was that One of our FanDuel people told us that?

[Sal Iacono]

No, I'm just looking at. Oh no, I saw it. I saw it. Multiple people reported it on Twitter, but they're plus 420. Casey plus 500. Ravens plus 650. Bill 7:1. We have first time ever. They've been playing for 309 years.

[Bill Simmons]

We have not a small amount of Lions futures.

[Sal Iacono]

No. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

With the 1 seed, with the NFC north, with the conference record, super bowl matchup. Best record. So the better they do with that. Yeah. So Detroit's plus four 20. KC is five to one. Baltimore plus 950 on FanDuel or 656. 50. Yeah, 650.

[Sal Iacono]

Buffalo seven to one.

[Bill Simmons]

Eagles nine to one. And then the Niners are the six team right now, 14 to one. I don't understand that at all.

[Sal Iacono]

They're not even favored to win the division, but they're.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I don't get plus when you watch them. They're not passing the eye test either. So who's the MVP favorite then? Because we'll get to Lamar after the break. But it wasn't like Lamar was lighting it on fire. So Josh Allen now the MVP favorite plus 150. Lamar's 2 to 1. Cause he sucked today.

[Sal Iacono]

He didn't suck. He didn't suck.

[Bill Simmons]

Tucker missed two field goals.

[Sal Iacono]

Lamar was.

[Bill Simmons]

Lamar was fine.

[Sal Iacono]

He didn't suck.

[Bill Simmons]

Stop it.

[Sal Iacono]

He didn't suck. We were talking about January. Lamar is back. I asked, I asked you like, I was like, do you think like at halftime the players have wished him a happy new Year because it is January.

[Bill Simmons]

All over again for that is White Lotus starting. Yeah yeah it was January. Lamar was rare for Mahomes is 12 to 1 to win the MVP at this point. Justin Herbert at 25 to 1. Not not interesting. If if like they ran the slate. I'm just thinking for like long shot.

[Sal Iacono]

Bets but gotta be a top two seed. Which is why I think like Jared Goff, he had that pitiful performance last week but I think he went out and said Hey, I got five interceptions last week. Can you get me 14 touchdowns today?

[Bill Simmons]

And so that we score in our first seven drives.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, can I climb back in this race? Just everyone just be open. And they were.

[Bill Simmons]

We're taking a break for the podcast. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. It is football season, which means the holidays are coming up and actually Simplisafe is already having a Black Friday sale. So if you're worried about the safety of your home and family, now is the time to get home security. I personally like to use Simplisafe because they can stop intruders before they break into your home. That's kind of the goal. I think they take home security to the next level if they're active guard outdoor protection. It's not an old school system. They only take action when somebody is already in your house. No, that's not Simplisafe. They take action before somebody gets in your house. There's no long term contracts, no cancellation fees. It's around $1 a day and it gives me peace of mind and helps me and my family feel protected. So take advantage of this Black Friday sale this week only. Right now you can take 60% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. Head to SimpliSafe.com BS to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with SimpliSafe. Again, go to simplisafe.com/bs. That is SimpliSafe with two eyes. There's no safe like Simplisafe. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. State Farm helps you score an affordable price when you choose to bundle home and auto insurance with the personal price plan. Bundling home and auto, that's a pro move. Just another way you can save on your insurance needs. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by State, Pittsburgh, Baltimore. You mentioned earlier, January, Lamar is back. Chris Boswell, fantasy MVP. Today, six field goals get 25 points in our league, prompting Hench, our buddy, to have a conniption about field goal kickers and should. Should we just eliminate them from leagues and all that stuff. I gotta say, I actually kind of like Phil having field goal kickers.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, you do?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I do. I do. I like it.

[Sal Iacono]

I like not having to worry about it. We, you know. But Hench, to be fair, when like Burrow has 46 points, he wants to eliminate quarterbacks too. So he's a little all over the place, but it's kind of lucky. But we also, we could have guessed that exact score, right? It was either going to be 18, 16, 1817 or 1918. Only three options, really. So perfectly scripted.

[Bill Simmons]

All the Steelers scores are scores that sound like they were a world war or an American war from the 1700s or 1800s. I wrote down 2024 Steelers, the most likely team in NFL history to win 18 to 16. It just, it just. It's the most Steelers score you can get. But. So Russ threw a red zone pick that was among the worst passes of the year that felt like it was going to flip the game. It did not. He was 2 for 9 in the red zone for 7 yards when he.

[Sal Iacono]

Escaped that sack that he had to escape a crazy sack to get there. And I was like, wow, that's 2014 Rush and Russ. And then it's like, oh, that's 2022. Russ right there with that interception.

[Bill Simmons]

That's post Covid Russia. So they're 8 and 2 and yet. And their defense was really good today, even though they got some help with the field goal kicking. But the Russ thing combined with only really having one receiver, I just worry about them in January, the fact that they're 8 and 2 with all the Pittsburgh, like I have a bunch of futures for them. It seems like they have a really good chance to win the division now. But just big picture, it just feels like they're not going to be able to get to 20 points in a playoff game like this. It feels like 1819 is probably the limit for them. Right.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, is there any scenario where he's not the worst quarterback in the AFC playoffs?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, now that Bo Nicks is looking like he's coming out of a sports movie, this is a big one for you. You have a lot of Bo Nick Stock lie.

[Sal Iacono]

I think he tightened that offensive rookie of the year gap there. Yeah, I just thought there's something interesting before we move on from Baltimore, Pittsburgh Burrow. Nine touchdowns against Baltimore combined in two games didn't walk away with a win. Steelers had no touchdowns today. 18, 16.

[Bill Simmons]

No touchdowns.

[Sal Iacono]

It's a fun. It's a fun league.

[Bill Simmons]

Russ was 23 for 36 for 205, but it's that second receiver thing. So Pickens was 8 for 89 and made his. Every week he makes just an unbelievable catch that you just can't believe. Number two receiver was Washington two for 42. Friarmuth was two for 14. Calvin Austin was one for minus one. Skoronic was one for four. And that's it for their receivers.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And at some point that's going to come back to bite them. But their, you know, their defense was great. That Queen got an awesome, awesome, awesome turnover for them that they really needed. And I hate to say phrases like this, but they kind of have Lamar's number. He's one in four against them now and it feels legit, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. I don't know what, like, I don't know. This is the team. Lamar doesn't want to play in the playoffs. I think he's going to get his wish too, and he's going to have to do it on the road because they can't beat him. And, you know, but Henry didn't go for 115 either. That was another thing. Like this defense is, is damn good when they need to be, but they really do have to figure out the quarterback thing. I feel bad for Tomlin when Fields is sliding. You mentioned it, like the thick white 40 stripe is the first down and he's sliding like 2 yards short. It was like a Johnny Knoxville fail video or something.

[Bill Simmons]

They're two running backs for 27 for 104. It felt worse watching it. It felt like they were having trouble getting unlocked, but, you know, they moved the chains enough, I guess. Justin, defense is great. They can get defense, field goal kicking, good special teams, home field advantage for a couple rounds. They're going to be heard from. I, I have a lot of questions about them winning on the road though. With what we've seen for most the last two weeks.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And Fields isn't going to be any better than that. All right, next one. Oh, speaking of that game, rip Justin Tucker as a guy you're afraid of for big kicks. We already knew it was coming, but today kind of submitted afraid of him.

[Sal Iacono]

If I bet the Ravens, I'm afraid of him. But yeah, this. But I guess last year he was maybe not just as bad, but really bad from 50 plus. So they could see the writing on the wall with this guy.

[Bill Simmons]

One other thing. So the Christmas game. One of them on Netflix is Pittsburgh, Kansas City, which we were talking about last week. Maybe not mattering if KC had this crazy record, but now it's probably going to matter. And that is suddenly an amazing Christmas game. If they're separated by one game, it's going to be like the opposite of Mike Tyson against Jake Paul.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, that was pretty good. I don't know. I don't know what you were watching.

[Bill Simmons]

We're saving that just for people listening. Sal and I will be talking about that fight we watched together. Yes, we did watch together.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, that's a good one. Our family's gonna hate us on Christmas. We're gonna be glued to that one. I'll be good. Steelers.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I felt like my family already didn't like me that much on Christmas, but I feel like this could be taking it to the next level. Another game that really jumped out. That was awesome. San Francisco, Seattle. This is the one killed San Francisco.

[Sal Iacono]

Moneyline parlay all over the place. What do you mean? They.

[Bill Simmons]

Green Bay was my moneyline parlay that felt like it should have lost and miraculously won.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Which we'll get to. But. Yeah. Gino. Seventh game winning drive in the fourth quarter. OT since 2023.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, how did they do that? I know Bosa went. Went off and they were helpless. Right. But how about contain Gino a little bit? It's like he shouldn't be running around like 2006 Michael Vick. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

But he was wide open on the runs, too. Nobody's.

[Sal Iacono]

They only blitzed him once today. I don't know if they're going to keep that up. If Shanahan's. Yeah, they kept it up and just went for whatever he wanted. Could have run through the end zone.

[Bill Simmons]

I really respect Gino, the confidence he has after it goes right for him, how he behaves after.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's like really, really a lot of charisma about it. And it's like. But what about those 10 terrible throws you made earlier in the game and that fumble or the Internet. But it. That like all of it gets wiped away in the crunch time.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Just does too, but. And yet that's crazy.

[Sal Iacono]

Crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

So we have not only the year from hell for San Francisco, but we're now in a situation where Arizona is 6 and 4 and the other three teams are 5 and 5 in the NFC West. And it feels like that division's sending two teams, but they're shocking Yeah, I think so.

[Sal Iacono]

So who's out then? Washington or Green Bay?

[Bill Simmons]

Detroit, Philly, Minnesota. Green Bay, Washington, Arizona, Atlanta. Oh, shit, you're right.

[Sal Iacono]

Come on.

[Bill Simmons]

So somebody would have to take Washington's spot, but yeah, I feel like somebody could take Washington's spot. I mean, they're 7 and 4 and should be 6 and 5 and they're arrow pointing down.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. So they do play the Cowboys.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you feel any difference between Washington, Seattle, San Francisco and the Rams? After watching football for the last four.

[Sal Iacono]

Weeks, San Francisco is going to be the team that's maybe not that good that I'm going to hold on to and I'm going to keep betting. I'm going to figure out a way to bet them in the second round of the playoffs. Even though they were eliminated like two weeks before.

[Bill Simmons]

There's no more dangerous football team than the team that you keep waiting for them to figure it out because you know how much talent they have. And then it's week, week 19 and you're like, oh, they're not in the playoffs. And they went 5 and 12 against the spread this year.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I had them in nine of the 12 games they didn't cover.

[Sal Iacono]

And you shake me in my sleep and I'm like, McCaffrey's back. McCaffrey's back. Like, yeah, it doesn't matter. I can't beat anybody. Arizona's favorite now to win the division plus 100 Niners, 270 Seahawks 5 to 1 and the Rams 5 to 1.

[Bill Simmons]

When you think Arizona was favored to win the division the last time, like.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, that's a question.

[Bill Simmons]

Carson Palmer, 2013, 14 range.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. So after one earlier, right? Yeah, yeah, right in there. That's a good question. They have the easiest schedule. I mean, San Francisco is like what you're about to read it, but six of the last seven are dog fights.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Well, the bigger problem is they're one and three in the NFC West. Yeah, the worst record. And they only have two games left. But they got at Green Bay, at Buffalo, next two home Chicago, home Rams on a Thursday at Miami, home Detroit, at Arizona.

[Sal Iacono]

Those are all rough. I mean, I thought that last game would mean something, but it really might not. It might be wrapped by then for them.

[Bill Simmons]

So they'd have to go five and two with all those games. I mean, you go through all the west that the NFC west teams, and really the only team that seems to have a semi easy schedule is Arizona.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And their next two are at Seattle, at Minnesota. Not exactly easy, but at least they have home Seattle, home Pats, at Carolina, at the Rams, home San Francisco. Like there's a path to go four and three for them and get to 10 wins.

[Sal Iacono]

But yeah, they're the only ones with Panthers on their schedule, I think. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I could see you texting me on Monday with some NFC west division bet that we'll probably do. And then a week later we'll have a different team.

[Sal Iacono]

We'll be done.

[Bill Simmons]

We'll just keep. Keep betting that dumb division over and over again.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, here's the thing that. So Seattle and the Rams are similar in that they're going to kick you in the gut if you sleep on them. Right. But then if you bet them, they're going to lose. Right. They're just like they're going to come back from the dead and you're just going to lose your mind trying to catch up to which zag they're on or zigging or not.

[Bill Simmons]

I 90% agree with that. And yet when I watch Seattle, sometimes I'm like, why aren't these guys better? Like, I think Kenneth Walker's good. I think their receivers are excellent. I think Geno could move the ball. I feel like when they're down four with three minutes left, I feel like they can actually go down the field and score. Which. How many teams would you even say.

[Sal Iacono]

That about holding a 49ers parlay slip? I felt the same way. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Couple more games. That really stood out in a delightful day. So Detroit, Jacksonville was beautiful because there were eight games early and this one allowed Detroit to immediately come off a tv. Yeah, I had the multi view and the big tv. I had Green Bay, Chicago by itself. And then I had the other TV with the three games. Detroit, Jacksonville just got to come up.

[Sal Iacono]

I left it on because I wasn't sure if they were going to escort Coach Middleseed out or not. I didn't want to miss that. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Like getting fired at halftime.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Yeah. Just pull up in like some kind of. Just like a hearse and just card him away. My goodness.

[Bill Simmons]

Here lies. Here lies Coach Middle Seat.

[Sal Iacono]

He.

[Bill Simmons]

He beat Belichick and Brady in a Super Bowl. Nick falls and then became one of the worst coaches of the last 10 years. There's no rhyme or reason to it. And then it's reported yesterday that this is probably his last game. So he's dead man walking. And Jacksonville responds by giving up touchdowns on their first seven drives against them. And there's 52 to 6.

[Sal Iacono]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm going to say he's going to get fired tomorrow.

[Sal Iacono]

The GM needs to see you. Bring your boarding pass, please. You're here in row 27B on Greyhound. By the way, you have the middle seat on the bus back. But you know what they should do? Because he has that statue outside of Philly right outside the stadium. They should have to punish him. They should have the guy who did Dwyane Wade statue redo his statue. Like that should be the fu. For this miserable, miserable Jacksonville team. My God.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, this could be Belichick's next team. Yeah, we've talked about Ford new stadium coming. I guess it depends how excited you are about Trevor Lawrence. We have learned that Mac Jones. Maybe it wasn't just New England's situation. He just might not be a starting quarterback. So what was the. What was the tweet we saw about all the. All the big spread Lions bets that hit.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, yeah. Escalator thing. I could find it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if that's the thing that we're fucking up the most out of. We bet every year on football.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And just like identifying who the best team in the league is, and they always win at least three games by 30 points. And why aren't we just playing that? Because you could have taken lions over jags plus 30 and a half. Whatever. And all of a sudden that's 12 to 1. And all you need to do is take one of those and it covers 12 weeks of bets.

[Sal Iacono]

So, yeah, minus 27 and a half plus plus five 20 minus 32 and a half. 10 to 1. Minus 38 and a half. 20 to 1. If you bet the team total adjusted over 44 and a half, that was 8:50. Yeah, we. We missed out on a lot of free money. They're damn good.

[Bill Simmons]

Colts, Jets. You know, Rogers has a Netflix special coming out in December about like a. It's like the last year with Aaron Rodgers.

[Sal Iacono]

I'm waiting for the joke. Go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

I. That is the joke.

[Sal Iacono]

Really? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You think they were. They were thinking, oh, oh, this would be good. The jets will be good. And then we'll drop this Rogers thing. Like, does anyone want to hear one minute of Rogers at this point? Like even. Do you think McAfee wants to talk to him for an hour? Who wants to hear from him?

[Sal Iacono]

If you're ever going to have buffering issues, that's the time. Netflix, go get it. Do. Do it during the.

[Bill Simmons]

Try to get the same buffer guy from the Jake Paul Tyson fight. Use it for your. He just looks like he doesn't want to get hit anymore. And it's the final stage of QBs. We've seen it a lot of times with older guys who used to be good. And that last stage where they're just getting rid of the ball before somebody dings them, that's it doesn't come back. Right? I know you're like a pig in shit right now.

[Sal Iacono]

You're saying, I won't do this every week, but just let me. Or you can cut it out of the podcast. I don't care.

[Bill Simmons]

No, we're cutting it out. And plus we're live on YouTube. Go do your thing.

[Sal Iacono]

They have eight losses. They're not going to go over their win total, which is nine and a half, which I thought was preposterous anyway. Right? I mean, my team sucks, but I knew the jets weren't going over nine and a half. They can't make the playoffs. So a couple numbers for you. Winning percentages. Jets starters Zach Wilson. 364. Sam Darnold. 342. Aaron Rodgers. 273. Sit down, you phony. You led New York to believe you could lead them to the playoffs. And you're the fraud of all frauds. You brought all your friends in. Yeah, who couldn't catch a pass. You got the coach fired. Somehow the best defense in football isn't excited to play for you. Now they're middle of the pack or worse. There's got to be some accountability. There's got to be. You know, of course there's a personal stuff where he alluded to the idea that my cousin was on the Epstein island flight log and the list comes out and he of course wasn't, but the guy Rogers likely voted for was. So classic. Classic douchebag. And now we're going to see a phantom injury in the next couple of weeks. So how's that for a conspiracy theory? You like that?

[Bill Simmons]

Wow, what a rant.

[Sal Iacono]

Sorry. Sorry. Take it. Take it. Smart guy. He's so damn smart, so well read. He's got to tell us all about it all the time. What's he going to do now?

[Bill Simmons]

I'd be surprised if he played next year, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Next year he's. He's going to find something to sit out next week, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, you think it'll be the. The calf strain? Yeah, they're worried it could be come a torn Achilles if he steps on it wrong again. I don't even know what their backup is.

[Sal Iacono]

It could blame. They could blame the bad field there at MetLife. Whatever. Whatever's next.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, didn't they give up a third round pick for Adams.

[Sal Iacono]

No. Was it third?

[Bill Simmons]

Was it three? Yeah, it was. That might be one of the top six picks of the third round.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, yeah. Good, good. I like, I love that.

[Bill Simmons]

As I've said many times, I have a kinship with the jets fans because the Pats and the jets were the two sad sacks of the entire AFC, like for the most of 30 years of my life. And I think we're wired the same way. DNA in a lot of ways. Then the Pats fans life changed. The jets fans did not. But this was like, honestly this two years of Rodgers, it was almost cruel starting with like him blowing out his Achilles immediately and then all the other stuff and I just can't think of. It's one of the worst free agent or I guess it was a trade. It's one of the worst veteran acquisitions in the history of the NFL. Right.

[Sal Iacono]

And they fell for it again. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Like they're trading assets for. Yeah, to help them and they're firing people and everything.

[Sal Iacono]

He had everything laid out for him and Shane Steichen tried to blow that game today.

[Bill Simmons]

Like how many times can we talk about that? I asked Lombardi. Lombardi is the master of the nicknames.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He came up with the Clapper. He came up with this jockey, Mike McCarthy. I was like, I was like, can you what's the Shane Steichen nickname? And he's texted us back. He is like, he put, he coaches like he's playing somebody online in Thailand. So we were Thailand. Shane like, oh, the guy I'm playing on Twitch Stream went out in Thailand. So anyway, Thailand. Shane, I think the key thing for him is that there seems to be. I was thinking like he's in a dark room just shouting out plays and doesn't know the score, the downs or the situation. He's just like eride45 has no idea what's going on. The best of all of them was the two point conversion with Richardson. They go up by one. They need this touch pass. Yeah. It's like I wonder if Richardson can wait for a guy to cross the middle and then loft a beautiful touch pass. I'm like, I am positive Richardson can't do this.

[Sal Iacono]

There's no way that would happen in practice.

[Bill Simmons]

There's no way this, whatever. But at the same time, Richardson, which is what makes him so interesting, he can't throw a four yard screen pass. He has no touch on a pass like that. And yet he'll rifle a 25 yarder perfectly or he'll nail somebody down the sidelines or he'll run around and he looks like, you know, giant Cam Newton. And you're like, this guy. It's clearly something. He's not a bust.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. But how about you recognize that Shane Strike and Right. Like you're with them all week. You don't just inherit them at 1pm Eastern on a Sunday. Right. You see, you know the limitations and everything else and it's like fit them in where it's like, I don't know. I don't love golf. But you wouldn't use a sand wedge to hit a ball that was 10ft from the hole. Right. Like just.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

Figure out where he works best. And they eventually did. It took a minute, but they won.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

Ultimately. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Lombardi's podcast is the GM Shuffle. And I'm sure he's going to talk about this tomorrow. But one. One thing he said that I'm going to steal. But I'm giving him credit. He calls the game exactly the same whether it's Flacco or Steichen. That's what Lombardi. I'm Flacco or Richardson. That's what Lombardi said. And I was like, that's such a great point. But you have Richardson. You have this massive guy that you would think you could run QB draws with. You could roll him out like, almost like a. Like a giant fullback. Like he's Bronco Nagurski. And yet they're running these goofy plays. I don't. I don't get it. I. I support the benching from a couple weeks ago because I really thought Richardson looked terrible. But obviously they worked his confidence back.

[Sal Iacono]

Can I. What's their record now? Because they're. They're. Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

They're 5 and 6.

[Sal Iacono]

They're only plus 148 to make the playoffs. Are they. They don't really scare me.

[Bill Simmons]

They're five and six. Basically the case for them would be.

[Sal Iacono]

They must have an easy schedule. But I don't even know what that would look like.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, there's two pieces. One is their game beyond Denver. Do you trust Denver? The other is there are only two games in the lost combat in Houston. Who keeps losing guys and just seems like they can never get all their guys healthy at the same time and haven't been that impressive to begin with. You know, Houston's 6 and 4. They've scored 224 points. They've given up 2, 26.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So maybe the odds factor into that. But frustrating game.

[Sal Iacono]

They. They. Yeah. I guess they have a couple of easy ones. They have. And they play at Denver. That's another one Denver's gonna have interesting way of controlling their own destiny here. They have the Colts and they have Cincinnati.

[Bill Simmons]

Let's take one more break for the podcast. This episode is brought to you by the all new reimagined Nissan Kicks. From the bold new exterior to the performance and tech features like intelligent all wheel drive and a Bose personal plus sound system. Cars where I live, I live in the Los Angeles area in cars are one of the most important things you can have because you're in them a lot. Because you got to drive around all over the place. You know what's fun? To have a nice car for an everyday commute. To have music and the ability to do hands free stuff and just to feel safe you can do it. Drive the all new reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Head over to Nissan USA to learn more. Bose Personal plus sound system is an available feature. Bose is a registered trademark in the Bose Corporation. Intelligent all wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. This episode is brought to you by IMES Pet Food. We're all picky when it comes to our pets and their meals. When you choose IMES dry dog or cat food, you can see a difference in your pet with your own eyes. Healthy energy in five days. Healthy digestion in 10 days. Healthy skin and coat in just 25 days. Satisfaction for you and them guaranteed or your money back. Feed iams dry dog or cat food and see a visible difference. Visit imes.com, that is iams.com difference to learn more. Couple more quick games. Bears packers so Caleb was good today.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And they changed a lot about him. He was getting the ball, getting rid of the ball a lot faster. I thought he was way more involved just as like a quarterback and a leader and he just seemed like he had more energy. I thought they outplayed the Packers. I would be alarmed if I was a Packers fan. Cause you should have lost and you didn't lose because the Bears drove down inside. What the 30eber fluss just decides to I'm gonna, I, I, I want to be careful here. I'm gonna try to play for the outdoor 46 yard field goal. The Bears fans all hate Uber Fluss and this is why because he does shit like this. He's just not a terrible game management coach. But I thought they should have won. And I'll go further Sal. Chicago, they lost that Tennessee game in week one that I think you bet on.

[Sal Iacono]

Yes I did.

[Bill Simmons]

Right? Oh no they won that game.

[Sal Iacono]

No, they won. They won. They won against Caleb Williams in his first game.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So they lost that Hail Mary game. They lost someone today. So they. They could at least be 6 and 5.

[Sal Iacono]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

So maybe. Maybe it evens out with that. They shouldn't have won the Tennessee game. I don't know. But whatever it is, their record should be at least one room. Better that.

[Sal Iacono]

Yes. And. And I really think. I mean, that Hail Mary really spooked the hell out of. I don't know if it. What do we call, like, the. The haunted Hail Mary? The Curse of Caleb? The Windy City Whisperer? Like, really, I don't know, the ghost of Shane Waldron? Like that was that really. They can't. And now nobody blocks on field goals. Field goal times.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, hey, the Hail Mary was almost like. Like they. The whole team had a car accident. It was like a traumatic event.

[Sal Iacono]

It's like, hey, get over it, guys. It was three weeks ago. But. But there's also the part of it where, what do they lost 11 in a row to Green Bay. Like, eventually they had to be like, all right, we gotta get by the way they shoved this rivalry down our throats. The league does the greatest in football. Even though you and I can't remember a good competitive game like that. We cared about between these two in the last quarter century.

[Bill Simmons]

But I think the reason it's special is just because the teams have been around since like the 19 or whatever the fuck. That's it.

[Sal Iacono]

But. But I'm not saying I agree. And we can't. We remember. We can't remember any good game from that.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, you know, so we had a great Matt LaFleur moment in this game too. This was not. I wouldn't have called this a chess match today. They have first down and go from the eight. They're trying to score to take the lead late in the game. Somehow it ends up being fourth and six. There's still like, I don't know, 10, 11 minutes left, kick the field goal, cut it to two, try to get a stop. Nope, he goes for it on 4th and 6, doesn't get it, and traps the bears at the one yard line. But unless there's like two minutes left in the game, it's just idiotic. There's no other way to say it. That's just idiotic. It's so hard to get a fourth and two, much less a fourth and six. So many. You're basically hoping for like a pass interference or a defensive breakdown or some sort of, like, gimmick play that the play broke down. Your quarterback rolled out and created something that. So it's. I just didn't think Green Bay deserved to win that game.

[Sal Iacono]

For the most part, you got to take points in these rivalry games, right. In the division games, again, the rivalry, whatever. But in division games we saw the Steelers do it against Baltimore and you know, you don't have to be super careful, but it would have helped the 49ers a lot of these teams.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought the packers had a chance to be better than maybe they're going to be.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Kind of giving up on them a little bit as. But we have seen around Thanksgiving somebody comes out of nowhere in a sense heading into the playoffs. Can't rule them out because of their talent. But I think it's been. It's a disappointing. I thought they had a chance to be the second best team in the nfc and I from what I'm watching, I don't see it.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, it's two. Right. It's like, oh, they should be better. But also like, you know, if you live predicted their fate after like Love went down and in Brazil.

[Bill Simmons]

True.

[Sal Iacono]

They're like, well, how are they going to be. They can't be seven and three and here they are.

[Bill Simmons]

I texted Kyle Brandt in the first half because Caleb really did look good. I was like, caleb, exclamation point. And he's like, don't worry, we're going to lose late. He's a Bears fan. There's no question we're losing late and that's amazing. Speaking of coaching scared Gerard Mayo, the Pats yet again lost a game that they probably could have won. The play calling was.

[Sal Iacono]

You're upset.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought we were doing better. No, because Drake May is really special and I feel like if you had just switched quarterbacks, we would add the same result. Maybe he would have done better. But there's a thing on ESPN about all the coaching mistakes, like not going for them, fourth and goal, doing a PAT instead of a two point when it was 28, 19, et cetera, et cetera. And then this is what the article says. Such decisions are always easy to second guess, but none worked out for the Patriots. Mayo has said he's taking notes throughout his first season and plans to learn from his experience. This game presented multiple decisions from which he can learn.

[Sal Iacono]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

It's week 11.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. This sounds like something you. If you get an F on your report card and you come home and tell your parents, like, I'm taking notes though, I'm going to. I'm Going to kill you.

[Bill Simmons]

I think my son said this last year when he was struggling in the 10th grade. Like, hey, I know my grades are bad, but I'm learning some good stuff.

[Sal Iacono]

The Mayo over here. Ben Simmons.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

I think that's what happened.

[Bill Simmons]

It's so fun. Like, Kyle and I were going nuts because they just don't. I just. Here's my advice for the Patriots, if anyone from the Patriots is listening. No, I'm sure they aren't. Go and watch, like, the 50 most successful Josh Allen plays and the 50 most successful John Elway plays. Just study what those plays were and then run of them. Run some of them for Jake maybe. Because every time he rolls out to his right, he can throw it across his body to the middle of the field. He can zing it down the sideline, he can throw it deep. He can take off and run any QB draw with him. He's dangerous. The teams are so terrified he's going to take off. They hand off on every first down. It's like that. We have to start out. So it's second and nine or second 11. Like that's a must I just the receivers. At one point, he was 10 for 13 with three drops. All of his receivers suck. They spent a second round pick on a guy who. All he does is get a false start whenever he's on the field. Meanwhile, McConkey went nuts again today. But it's just like they have this incredible asset. It's like watching a team that has a diamond and they're like fucking playing Thanksgiving catch with it outside.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Wow. This is more biting than my Aaron Rodgers eulogy.

[Bill Simmons]

That's frustrating.

[Sal Iacono]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

But I think Drake May is really good.

[Sal Iacono]

This is gonna make you feel better. But at some point, talent matters. And not his, but the. The supporting cast, so. And that's why the Rams were so good. Puka Nakua almost broke both of his elbows making that crazy catch, that first touchdown. And they also. I don't really care because that was my best bet. The Rams -4 and a half and.

[Bill Simmons]

You somehow fucking covered, you son of a baby.

[Sal Iacono]

Somehow. We're up two touchdowns, nine and two on the year. Best handicapper on TV, radio, podcast, YouTube.

[Bill Simmons]

McVay said he looks like a student. Blah, blah, blah. You can just see the impact that he has on his teammates. The way people talk about him here. He looks like he's going to be a special player for a long time and he gave us fits today. Thanks, Sean McVeigh.

[Sal Iacono]

You're in a good spot. Why do you Want to.

[Bill Simmons]

We're in a great spot.

[Sal Iacono]

You want to go 7 and 10. You want to go perfect?

[Bill Simmons]

My dad said that today. It's perfect outcome. Yeah, He. Drake did enough good stuff to make you feel great. The team did enough terrible stuff to end up losing the game.

[Sal Iacono]

And perfect.

[Bill Simmons]

There you go. Broncos, Falcons. Bo Nick. Since the beginning of October, only two picks, 13 passing touchdowns, over 1600 yards passing. And he was awesome in that game today.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, didn't it seem like some of these teams, they wear these uniforms and it's like, oh, man, they look so fast. Like, Denver was getting. He was hitting these guys in stride. There was no doubt that they were open.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

Like, is Atlanta that bad? Like, we know we. We know that junk division, but my.

[Bill Simmons]

God, that was my, my favorite pick of the week.

[Sal Iacono]

That was good.

[Bill Simmons]

I think the Falcons, whatever their record is, it could easily have been three wins worse. And I think the Broncos are. I've said this for weeks, that I think they're the good, bad team.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think if you put another, like, mediocre or worse team in front of them, they're probably going to win. That's a really nice bounce back for them after what happened last week. But here's. Here's my takeaway. After watching that game, can you guess what Atlanta's odds are to win the NFC South?

[Sal Iacono]

I think I might have seen them by. Is it minus 400 or something like that?

[Bill Simmons]

They're minus 550 to win the NFC South.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Look at Tampa's schedule.

[Bill Simmons]

Tampa's 5 to 1 and their schedule is super easy down the stretch, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And by the way, New Orleans somehow has four wins, too, with the Clogger. Clogger's two and, oh, he's the best unclog. And Cleveland all over the place. So Tampa's at the Giants, at Carolina, from Vegas. Next three.

[Sal Iacono]

Look at those three. Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

So that could be. They could have seven wins. Three weeks.

[Sal Iacono]

Keep going.

[Bill Simmons]

At Chargers. At Dallas. Home. Carolina. Home. Saints. Think of a six and one. We're betting this.

[Sal Iacono]

Let's do it.

[Bill Simmons]

We're betting on Tampa 5 to 1.

[Sal Iacono]

We putting money in this terrible South. I said I wouldn't do it, but I guess 12 weeks is long enough to hold out there. This is like Seinfeld the contest. Like, how long can you last without betting the NFC South? I'm in.

[Bill Simmons]

Panics came in and it was super exciting because Cousins looked like he was 130 years old. I thought that was the dumbest line of the week. So two weeks in a row as we've done guess the lines and there was a line and I was like that's absolutely attic So I wonder if that happens again this week. I'm going to bet even more money.

[Sal Iacono]

I think you're right because two weeks ago they had gotten blown out by the Ravens. It could have been easy for them to pack it in and then they lose on that dumb field goal to the Chiefs and then they. They just light it up today. But yeah, they went over their their win total of five and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Already two weeks ago. Cardinals jets was the dumbest line so we'll see if we have a dumb line this week. Saints, Browns I so Jameis is 21 and 33 in his last 54 starts. Did you think that would be better or worse?

[Sal Iacono]

I might have been wrong about him. I thought he was 21 and 33.

[Bill Simmons]

He might not be a winning QB.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, I got really excited about this is a revenge game and the Saints should have started him nine weeks last year over Derek Carr. But no, that didn't really matter. You can't screw with The Clogger. Clogger? Cloggers5531 outscored his opponents. He's the only undefeated coach in the league this year.

[Bill Simmons]

Clogger's got great energy on the bench too. Yeah, definitely better than what did Lombardi call him? Thailand Shane?

[Sal Iacono]

Thailand Jane.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he's beating a 14 year old in Madden tonight.

[Sal Iacono]

The Clogger's mad. He wants to be called the plunger but no, we're sticking with the Clogger.

[Bill Simmons]

Sorry this taste some hill fantasy conundrum thing is weird.

[Sal Iacono]

What's a conundrum? How many times like he's eligible for.

[Bill Simmons]

A tight end and suiting up as quarterback We've never really figured this out.

[Sal Iacono]

Runs the ball.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, random stuff really quick. Why don't teams QB sneak anymore? What happened? The Chargers Herbert's six six and they won't QB sneak with them on on first and goal from the one he's six six Brady. What did he not convert two QB sneaks out of 1500 in his career? Yeah, you're six six. It should be automatic. You should be able to get aired.

[Sal Iacono]

I'm with you.

[Bill Simmons]

What happened? Is it because Mahomes got hurt that time? Everyone's afraid now.

[Sal Iacono]

So we know. Well we know why he does it and or doesn't do it right? We know why Hertz does it because it's an automatic. He's going to get launched six yards but yeah, you would think it would be a hardball thing. Like hey, we're going to get our offensive line to be disciplined enough to get this giant forward half an inch.

[Bill Simmons]

Tennessee, Minnesota. I watched zero plays of yeah, I was thinking what's the opposite of a multi view game?

[Sal Iacono]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like a, like a multi view blackout. I didn't know what it is a radio game.

[Sal Iacono]

I had it on a small screen like, like, like a post it like a big post it like that size screen. That's basically what I had this year.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm good with not watching Tennessee again this season.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, even the Vikings are boring. Like I don't know, we see Detroit kill these garbage teal AFC south teams like you know, Jacksonville and in Tennessee, Vikings don't feel like they're 8 and 2.

[Bill Simmons]

Miami Dolphins 4 and 6. We talked about this scenario two weeks ago and now it's now it's or one week ago because we thought we did it before the Rams game on Monday night. And they won two games in six days. They play the Patriots this week and they could be 5 and 6. They're at green Band on Thursday. Home jets at Houston, Home San Francisco. A game that suddenly seems a lot easier than it was on the schedule. And then at Cleveland at the jets last two weeks could get to nine wins from four and six.

[Sal Iacono]

The fights for the seven seeds are going to be good in both conferences, right? I don't know that they have a chance against the two seeds, but it's going to be good. Well, I mean that really could be 5.

[Bill Simmons]

Sorry to good jump good but also not good because then we have to watch them when we're all together for round one and then it's a lot less good when we're watching the Dolphins in a playoff game.

[Sal Iacono]

Right? Yeah, I'm just thinking that NFC west division where everybody's five and five. I could see all three of those other teams going three and three the rest of the way and. Right. And then it's all going to come down to the next week.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I hope the Dolphins at least get a little more exciting because I think our friend John Justremsky who hosts the Ringers Sunday pregame show, the king of the underdog, he did it today. I think you're number one. I've known you a long time. I moved to. I did an Instagram thing. I'm 22 years in LA now, so we've known each other 22 years. Your number one thing, you hate over really anything else including cancer and pestilence. Name all the worst Things in the world is when people claim an underdog pick, and either they're not an underdog, which the Fox guys used to do, they're like, I like the Browns. And meanwhile, the Browns would be minus one and a half and Bradshaw's taking them as an underdog or somebody who takes an underdog. That's like a plus 105 or a plus 108, which is what JJ did today in the show Bengals 5.

[Sal Iacono]

The Fox guys are 80 years old, so you're teaching them how to. You know, you're teaching them.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they don't even understand gamble text.

[Sal Iacono]

And their brains are spinning out of their heads. JJ does 17 podcasts a week on gambling, and he's very proud of his Bengals plus 108, by the way. Good. I'm glad he lost. Now I'm thinking, I didn't care about that game. Now I'm great. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, House is doing House of Steelers plus 1. 58. Like, people are doing real underdog picks.

[Sal Iacono]

I had the Raiders. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you're the Raiders.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, exactly. You want to take Jake Paul, too, jj. I'm sorry. I don't know. He's. Is that an underdog? Like, come on. So.

[Bill Simmons]

And then he gets defensive about it.

[Sal Iacono]

He got upset.

[Bill Simmons]

Jesus. JJ + 108. Here's. Here's my courageous underdog pick. I was sending him Cowardly lion pictures.

[Sal Iacono]

He didn't. He wasn't responding towards the end, bro. That plus symbol. That plus symbol is all you need to see, bro. It's.

[Bill Simmons]

If it's a plus symbol, it counts as an underdog, bro.

[Sal Iacono]

Good. Good for you. It's a pickle.

[Bill Simmons]

Just. Hell hath no fury. If I get Juan Soto on the Red Sox, the amount of text I'm to be sending jj, that'll bring me right back with the Red Sox. The sabbatical will be over.

[Sal Iacono]

They won't get it.

[Bill Simmons]

So playoff picture, Casey. Detroit is the one. Seeds Buffalo, Denver is one Matchup, two seven. Pittsburgh Chargers. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Pittsburgh, Baltimore would be the 3. 6, and then Houston Chargers would be the 4 or 5 if it ended today.

[Sal Iacono]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

So that's probably the Shakies game. Houston Chargers.

[Sal Iacono]

Houston Chargers. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

AFC south is locked in the other one we would have. Let's see. I'm too confused by the nfc.

[Sal Iacono]

I get it.

[Bill Simmons]

I guess the most important one is right now. It'd be Arizona hosting Minnesota in round one. Another possible Shakies game then all.

[Sal Iacono]

So that's the 4. 5. That would be the 4 5.

[Bill Simmons]

Because it looks like Minnesota's got the inside track on the on the five seed. Unless Green Bay or Washington.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, but Atlanta is a worse division winner, right? At six and five, wouldn't they be the four?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you're right. Because those teams are going to go backwards. Oh yeah. So it could be if Atlanta.

[Sal Iacono]

That could be Atlanta.

[Bill Simmons]

Minnesota.

[Sal Iacono]

That's a tough one.

[Bill Simmons]

This is why I didn't want to do the nfc.

[Sal Iacono]

I knew that's a tough one to bet though. I don't like that.

[Bill Simmons]

One more break for the podcast and then we'll do Guest alliance this episode is brought to you by PayPal sports fans. I know going to the big games can get expensive. So let's talk strategy. Let's talk how PayPal has changed the playbook. Now you can pay everywhere online, in store, either or both with the PayPal debit card. That's right, earn a 5% cash back up to $1,000 every month in the category you choose, like apparel and groceries. Think about it. That's like getting cash back when you're picking up your game day snacks or grabbing a drink with the crew after the big game. I'm talking about real savings like that energy drink you keep keeps you hyped for the big game. Cash back 17th purchase of merch from your favorite team. Cash back post game Extra large pizza you order like clockwork. You get the idea. Every payment everywhere, every time. Don't just pay PayPal terms and cash back limit supply. See PayPal app. The PayPal debit card is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to a license by MasterCard International, Inc. And may be used everywhere. MasterCard is accepted. This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn. As a small business owner, every new hire added to your team needs to make an immediate impact. Think of C.J. stroud in his rookie year, how he transformed the Texans. With limited hiring resources, you don't have the luxury of getting it wrong. You need to feel confident that your candidate is going to perform when the game is on the line. With LinkedIn jobs, you can. As the world's largest professional network, LinkedIn gives you access to more than a billion professionals with the unique skills and experience you need. Chances are your next standout star is one of them. A qualified candidate ready to put in the work that makes an immediate impact on your business. On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. So hire professionals like a professional on LinkedIn. Hire the right person for your role and post your job for free. Go to LinkedIn.com Simmons that's LinkedIn.com Simmons to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Today's guest alliance is brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together with Workday and pair finance and HR on one platform for an epic performance. With Workday AI at the core, you'll make confident decisions faster than ever. And you'll drive flawless business and finance operations with an agile platform that constantly evolves. To future proof your organization, Be a Finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. Visit workday.com to learn more. All right, guess the line. Salute. What's the. What's our record for the year?

[Sal Iacono]

All right, so I won last week.

[Bill Simmons]

So it's.

[Sal Iacono]

You're up six four one through 11 weeks.

[Bill Simmons]

So you're like a plus 107 underdog. Could JJ bet you JJ's all over it? And then Raheem, who's also on the show, who's been doing well lately and just can't. Can't resist telling everybody about how well he's doing. He's. He's in the dugout being like, hey, we're throwing a no hitter through five innings. No hits by the other team.

[Sal Iacono]

I love it.

[Bill Simmons]

We just brag a bunch of characters.

[Sal Iacono]

Then Joe House. Joe House. You know, that pregame show is an hour and a half and he holds the microphone for an hour. It's a heavy ass, but it's not, you know, this is not. You're not hosting holding, like a calendar here. It's a pretty hefty microphone he has to get.

[Bill Simmons]

Raheem is a confidence player. Yeah. House did million dollar picks with me after the Washington game on Thursday night. And he's like, I might have a few drinks. I'm like, great. People love drunk House. He was actually pretty subdued. And as we're doing it, I'm like, this actually might be drunk House. Because he's not loud and, like, fun Drunk House. He actually seems like he's had a few. So then today he's like, yeah, the Browns. I was probably a little drunk on Thursday night. I probably should have suggested that one because he gave me. He gave me the Browns.

[Sal Iacono]

You're blaming him, but you're betting $1 million on these picks. They really should come from you. I don't know why you're so trusting. I know.

[Bill Simmons]

Thursday night Steelers. Speaking of the Browns, Steelers in Cleveland. It's really rough for the Browns. Maybe we should have seen it coming when they traded one of their pass rushers right before the trade deadline. And then they traded Martin Cooper, their best receiver. And that, that should have been a red flag. Steelers at Cleveland on a Thursday night. And to me, this has to be Steelers by three and a half.

[Sal Iacono]

Really? You're still going to get it. I said six and a half. It's four. It's four and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Hmm.

[Sal Iacono]

Why is that even that low? Eight and two against two and eight.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think the Thursday night you got to docket for the road game. Road team coming off an emotional physical. I mean that Baltimore Pittsburgh game, we didn't talk about how physical. I guess so how much shit talking there was in that game. That game was awesome, right? These games are awesome today. Pittsburgh, Baltimore, the, the. The Buffalo game was great. This Chargers game was great. And this Steelers Browns game would not be great. Yeah, yeah. Sunday marquee game. I think it's packers diners, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, I think so. But that's it. Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

I had a lot of trouble with this one because the Niners seem like they're getting a lot of respect based on past performance potential of what the performance is. And I really think this line should be at least packers by one and a half. So I'm going to do that. Packers by one and a half.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, you said at least. You want to go a little higher? You can go a little higher if you want. I said two. It's one and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

You think that flips? Is that Niners minus one and a half? George Kittle's back.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, yeah. Oh, they love flipping the one and a half. The one and a half is so dangerous. Right. And now we're going to add six and make a nice teaser and it's not going to make any sense.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you see there was a thing going around today about and I don't know if it accounts for today's games or not. Somebody sent this to me. Active NFL coach records in one score games and the worst coaches Eber Fluss at 5 and 17 in one score games. Zach. Zach Taylor's 21 for 32. 21 and 32, Peterson's 32 and 43 and Kyle Shanahan's 29 and 33 in one score games. Kind of feels that way, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Shanahan feels that way because we, I think we examined this stat a couple like a year ago with Shanahan. You're telling me Zach Taylor's won 21 one score games?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Where were they?

[Sal Iacono]

No, no. College. What is that? College.

[Bill Simmons]

Tomlin's 107 and 68 in one square games. He's the man. Adds up. Yep. LaFleur is 33 and 21. And then your guy McCarthy, McCarthy and 60, 73 and 65. But he had Rogers before Rogers was watched.

[Sal Iacono]

That's not fair. That's not fair.

[Bill Simmons]

But yeah, the Eberfluze thing jumped out to me. And then Shanahan 29 and 33, with all the talent they've had, thought that was, that was notable.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. You think when you go for an extension, they, they show you that tweet or wherever you saw. It's not good.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what else isn't good, Sal? I only have two watchable games after the marquee game and one of them is the Lions. Just because I think Lions, Colts will be fun. Cause I really enjoy watching Richardson. You just don't know what's going to happen with Richardson.

[Sal Iacono]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Every pass is exciting. He might sail it over somebody's head, he might bounce it. It might be like one of the best 20 yard in passes you've seen. Just don't know. I have the Lions favored by six and a half in Indianapolis.

[Sal Iacono]

All right, finally I get this. I had seven and it's seven and a half. They're just crushing teams though. They have to, they have to put it north, north of 7. This can't go lower.

[Bill Simmons]

Feels like a tease, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. They're not ready to lose yet. Detroit. There'll be a time that's not yet.

[Bill Simmons]

Campbell's. Campbell's definitely got the Drago's trainer face going during these games. He just wants to like pour it on.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. No.

[Bill Simmons]

Seahawks. Cardinals in Seattle. And I, I was going to go one and a half and I'm going to say Seahawks minus two after today.

[Sal Iacono]

You get it. It's one and a half. I said four. Why are Cardinals.

[Bill Simmons]

Cardinals have had a really good month.

[Sal Iacono]

I know they're getting a little too much credit here. A little too much.

[Bill Simmons]

Two fairly watchables. Vikings at Chicago is the first one. Something is not watchable about the Vikings and I can't put my finger on it, but I'm never like, oh cool. The Vikings are on offense and they have guys I like watching. I just. Something's missing.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, we don't like when you have a big play guy, a top three fantasy guy, Justin Jefferson, and who never seems struggling to score. Like I think they averaged 30 over their first four games. In the last two or three, they've averaged like 15 or something.

[Bill Simmons]

So I'm going to say Vikings by three in Chicago.

[Sal Iacono]

You're going to get this. I said four and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

It's three and a half. I think that ends at three.

[Sal Iacono]

Did they play yet? No, they play week 15. Think that goes down?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think that gets to three. Dolphins home for the Pats is the other one. And I swear the Pats aren't bad.

[Sal Iacono]

You swear you wouldn't lie to me?

[Bill Simmons]

I swear they're not bad. And you can't tell me you weren't fucking sweating out that Rams game.

[Sal Iacono]

No, I was. That was. Yeah, I'm glad they kicked.

[Bill Simmons]

Pats lose to Seattle 23 to 20 in a game that they coached scared and they had Brissette instead of May, they lose Week 5 to Miami when they should have started May. I think they would have won that. They lost that one. 15, 10. They lost that stupid Tennessee game in week nine by three. And they lost this Rams game today. It's a three and a team that could, like, they really could be six and seven a couple plays. They're not bad.

[Sal Iacono]

Whatever you say. I don't know how the 3 and 8 gets to 6 and 7. Like, they really could have played two more games. 11 weeks.

[Bill Simmons]

I wasn't. Wasn't asked to do math.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, the question is, do they have any. How many blowouts do they have? Like, I look at the Cowboys, I'm like, oh, we have at least three or four. You have none. You have no blowout. Like receiving. End of a blowout.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm saying, oh, yeah, we got blown out couple times.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Houston, Houston. Guys coming up, like, are you going to have two or three? Or, you know, you have, what, seven games, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Miami, Indy, Arizona, Buffalo, Chargers. Buffalo.

[Sal Iacono]

Six games left. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Well, I have that. Pat's over under four and a half and they have three wins.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, you're fighting that out end of December.

[Bill Simmons]

But think about it. At Miami, home, Indy. At Arizona, at Buffalo, Chargers. Buffalo. Like, probably only one win left with this coaching staff.

[Sal Iacono]

You got this exact. I got this. Exactly.

[Bill Simmons]

You did. I'm going to say Miami by six and a half.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, you should have said seven. Very close, though.

[Bill Simmons]

I would advise people not to tease that.

[Sal Iacono]

Hmm.

[Bill Simmons]

I just don't. That seems like a classic Miami looking ahead game. Who does Miami play the week after this? They play.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, that's Thanksgiving week, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. They're at Green Bay on Thursday, that next week. So this is a classic. Hey, it's the path. Let's just. We'll get by this. We got Green Bay on Thursday, and then all of a sudden we're up 10, nothing.

[Sal Iacono]

You played tough with them. Last time, right? Wasn't it like 15, 10? Is that what you said?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think we can play with that team now.

[Sal Iacono]

The reason these games are so shitty is because six teams are off, right? Yeah, we forgot to mention that.

[Bill Simmons]

Buffalo, Cincinnati, Fantasy implications. Yeah, there's some like teams with fantasy guys. So the poop fe is loaded. We might need the clogger to unclog. It really subdues these. There's five bucks Giants in Jersey. Bucks minus four.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, you get it. I said five. It's three and a half. Stupid. That's dumb. Except that we're going to bet Tampa to win the division, so definitely going to lose.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So we kind of need to do that because I need, I need to be interested in week 12. So maybe that's the first way to do it.

[Sal Iacono]

Let's do it.

[Bill Simmons]

But the Bucks. Washington is home for the Cowboys.

[Sal Iacono]

Watch out.

[Bill Simmons]

Only knows how bad you're going to look tomorrow.

[Sal Iacono]

Watch out.

[Bill Simmons]

I have Washington by eight.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh man, you're edging me out here. I had seven and a half. It's nine and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

That's too high. Washington hasn't looked good in a month.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, Cowboys haven't looked good six years in a month. So fair. Should be interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, you don't think the schedule can get worse? Can I offer you Chiefs, Panthers in Carolina?

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, you could offer me a three team teaser.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that's why I'm jacking this up because they're going to have. This will be in the tease range. I'm going to say Chiefs by 11 and a half and Carolina.

[Sal Iacono]

I can't get one of these. I had 12. It's 10 and a half. They can't lose that. Put that on any teaser from now, whenever, however long you think you're going to be betting. 15, 20 more years, 40. Just try to try to get them on whatever fanduel allow.

[Bill Simmons]

I had another 14 or 13 pointer by the way.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, I saw that. Wait.

[Bill Simmons]

Chargers plus 11, Chiefs, Lions and then the Eagles on Thursday night.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, you must have won. Oh, you sent me something else with the.

[Bill Simmons]

I think that was it.

[Sal Iacono]

The ufc. No, I hit ufc. Green Bay hitting everything.

[Bill Simmons]

Bo Nickel with Jon Jones, who could not have been more amazing in that fight. And then the Lions and the packers was basically even odds. Jon Jones figured out how to do a liver punch as a spinning back kick, right?

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like I. I've never seen a UFC move that looked like it hurt more than that move. Yeah, if they did that to us, what would happen to us?

[Sal Iacono]

I would Still. I would. No, I would still be. I. I would say I'd still be in the ring, but I think they would carry me to my grave, so I don't think I would still be in the. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That break, like, five ribs, right?

[Sal Iacono]

It looked like it really. Like he was going to have trouble getting his foot out of that sternum. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought he was so good. Stipe was terrible. Stipe looked like he was kind of washed, but Jon Jones was like. He played all the hits like he did the ground and pound in the first. First round. He's just like. He has his ways of just like. It's like 20 elbows and 19 of them land. He was so good.

[Sal Iacono]

Someone gave Stipe around, which was insane.

[Bill Simmons]

Jesus.

[Sal Iacono]

It's one of the judges there.

[Bill Simmons]

Two more terrible games. Texans Titans. This is in Houston, and I really. I thought about getting this to nine, because I don't. I know they're going to think everyone's going to tease it, but the Texans just haven't been good enough. So I'm going to say Texans, eight and a half.

[Sal Iacono]

I hate when you're. You're explaining it, and I know I'm. You have me dead to rights, but I have to still have to listen to the whole thing. It's deep.

[Bill Simmons]

A poker face.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, it is. It's. I had nine, and it is eight and a half. This is disgraceful.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a slightly dangerous game for Houston because Tennessee's defense isn't bad.

[Sal Iacono]

Short week for Houston.

[Bill Simmons]

Short week for Houston.

[Sal Iacono]

Battle. That's going to be a battle against the Cowboys. Very physical.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, this one might not be a poop factor game with the way Bo Nix is playing, but Broncos in Vegas playing the Raiders and Bobby Bacala. Antonio Pierce.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I was saying to you and Lombardi that Bobby Baclo was Uncle Junior's driver for two years, and then, like, somehow a couple people died and he became a captain, right? And it was like, how is this guy captain? He was like, getting. Getting the getting. Uncle June, Uncle Jun and Baba Ghoul.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What do they call that? Gaba. What's that? Gabadol. What did I call? Baba Ghoul.

[Sal Iacono]

That was Karen's life. Lasagna Junior.

[Bill Simmons]

I've never heard of Gabadool before.

[Sal Iacono]

You're not. You're not saying it right. It's okay. Gabadool. Gabadul. It's like your daughter's first words.

[Bill Simmons]

Not in the Connecticut, Massachusetts area. But yeah, it's like Antonio Pierce, they just cut to him on the sidelines. And he just says this look like, wonder if I'm going to be able to do TV next year. I wonder if there's going to be a college job. Broncos, I'm going to say -4 in Vegas.

[Sal Iacono]

All right, you get it either way. But this, I said three. It was three and a half. It went to four and a half. What kind of injury could there be on Vegas for them to move this align? I know their running backs both got hurt, but it was like Amir Abdul or whatever. But why did this move within an hour?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, did you see any of the Vegas game?

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, I know, they're terrible. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But Minshew had a play where in the fourth quarter he rolled out and he threw a pass and I think it was Jalen Ramsey. He fell down. So he was on the ground and the guy was open and Minshew somehow threw it to Jalen Ramsey, who caught it when he was lying on the ground for an interception. I had never seen that before.

[Sal Iacono]

That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Tough times for Minshew.

[Sal Iacono]

Jesus, I love. I just want so badly to bet that team, but they gotta be a stay away for the rest of the year.

[Bill Simmons]

Sunday night Eagles Rams in la. Not a bad game.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I have a crowd prediction for this. There's a lot of Philly fans that live here.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You put a lot of Philly fans together and if the game becomes frustrating or disappointing in the first or second quarter, the vibe, slash energy in that arena or stadium completely changes and gets super weird. And I feel like that's going to happen in this game. He put 50,000 Eagle fans who are furious because Sirianni went for it on 4th and 3 and Jalen hurts got sacked. And just you can hear the grumbling all around the stadium. I'll never forget the Super Bowl Eagles pats. Like, it was the weirdest energy I've ever felt in it in a game. It's just the Eagles fans are so mad. They was like in the second quarter. They're furious.

[Sal Iacono]

But those are Eagles Eagles fans. These are going to be LA Eagles fans, right?

[Bill Simmons]

You think they're going to be more mellow because of the. Because we have good weather?

[Sal Iacono]

No, probably not.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I don't think so either.

[Sal Iacono]

I'll be back. But this means more to the Rams for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

I do not have the Rams favorite, Sal. I have Eagles minus one and a half.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, I said two and it's three. Eagles are a full, full field goal.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow. They're rarely seen 3.

[Sal Iacono]

I think they're counting on what you're talking about a lot of. A lot of Eagles fans showing up.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a lot of Bengals fans. We're getting a lot of Eagles fans. Am I. Did I clinch yet or is this still up in the air?

[Sal Iacono]

Why, you want to quit?

[Bill Simmons]

No.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, it's like nine.

[Bill Simmons]

Pull my starters.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, pull them all. Nine to three. You're up.

[Bill Simmons]

Last game. Monday night. We get to watch the Chargers again. Oh. Oh, Mike. Ravens at Chargers. Ravens in la. I wonder if Mally Rubin will be in the house. I bet she does.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

She doesn't leave her own house, but she might be in this house. I'm going to say Baltimore by one and a half.

[Sal Iacono]

Are they checking on an injury? Because it's not on, fan. I pulled it up before and now it's not on. You look there. But what'd you say? We both said one and a half anyway. It's three. It's the last I saw. But is Herbert. Herbert, Herb or somebody? Herbert might be.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe he got hurt when they ran that play when he just got that option play when he just got annihilated. And Collins was like, please don't ever run that play again.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, his right arm is tight. He could throw left handed if he wants. Yeah, we watch him.

[Bill Simmons]

Still handsome either way, Mike.

[Sal Iacono]

Of course. All right, you won. 7. 4. 1 after 12.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment. Be a Finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. To learn more, visit workday.com so we watched Tyson Paul together at our cousin Jimmy's.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

One of the most depressing sporting events I can remember. You felt by the second round, felt like it was over. I went back because I remember I remembered writing a column about some fight that felt like the end of Tyson's career. And it was the Lennox Lewis fight, which was in 2000.

[Sal Iacono]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

And that was when I wrote a whole long column about. It was so sad to watch. It's over. It's literally 2002. This Drake May was born in 2002.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So I don't know why we were surprised.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, I got to see his ass. And that's all I really want. I told you before the night, I was like, I just. I just want to see his ass. I don't care who wins the fight, but it bums me out. Because you were smart. You were the only one in the room who didn't have money on Tyson. And yet the way we broke it down on against all. I almost called. Exactly. I'm like, he's going to show. He'll have like a flurry in the first couple rounds and then these gloves are too big and Paul's going to realize that Tyson can't hurt him, and so he's just going to jab, jab him to death. And that wasn't even that much. And I didn't even count on the knee brace. When your fighter goes in there looking like Bill WALTON at, like 46 years.

[Bill Simmons]

Old, the knee brace is just, oh, my God, automatic. I wish I didn't bet on this guy thing.

[Sal Iacono]

So what? How many years was I off by? I know you wrote that column, but does he beat him at 48? Does he beat him at 30? 44? I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I had. As we're watching the Chargers game today, I put on ESPN on the smaller TV because I thought SportsCenter was coming on and they were running Mike Tyson's Greatest Hits, Volume 2, and it was just him destroying the best one is the Donnie Long, I think is my favorite. He's fucking half. I think he might have killed Donnie Long.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But it's just over and over. Do you just see how fast and crazy good he was back then? And then there's been this revisionist history since, like, oh, no, he was just. He was both at the moment. Douglas hit him like anyone could have. There's no. My answer to that is no. Like him, really. Through the Spinks fight was the most unstoppable heavyweight I've ever seen.

[Sal Iacono]

Ferocious. Nobody.

[Bill Simmons]

I just don't know how anybody beats that guy. He was a fucking maniac. He's throwing uppercuts, he's ducking, he's around both hands. He had 17 different punches.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, for sure, he could.

[Bill Simmons]

In the Jake Paul fight, he really only had like this weird lazy left hook. He never threw his right, never threw uppercuts and had no legs. It was awful.

[Sal Iacono]

In the Jake Paul fight, he had 17 different punches, too, but those were over eight rounds. So total he had 17 punches. But I feel like betting on it, like I'm an asshole. Like, it's dumb going into it, I knew, but it's, It's. We don't want to admit we're old, right? Like, this bet was basically like getting a facelift, right? Like it's a risk and I know what's going to happen here. And the surgeon got paid either way, but I can't admit that I'm old and. Oh, Mike, he just killed us. He just killed. It was so sad. Couldn't move forward. And the training. He has 30 second spurts like, it's nice.

[Bill Simmons]

I know, right? Well, he planted the seed after about. He. He got hurt or whatever happened to him in June, and he had that blood transfusions and he lost weight. So I, I feel like they're paving the way for one more.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, one more what? We need one less. One more fight. Really?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. He made like 20 million for this.

[Sal Iacono]

I know he got 20 million. That.

[Bill Simmons]

That's when you fight George Foreman, you. We're not going to all get together. If it's like him versus George Foreman for him versus Evander Holyfield, Tyson and three.

[Sal Iacono]

Yep. Jimmy Carter could get sanctioned. I think they could do this.

[Bill Simmons]

It's all about like the, it's the walk up, it's the anticipation of it, and then the actual fight is like a bonus.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. I had buzzed Adam Carolla in my ear saying, he's 58. What do you expect? I think I heard that about 25 times.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that seemed to be his. His go to point.

[Sal Iacono]

He's right.

[Bill Simmons]

It was brutal. The woman's fight was great, though.

[Sal Iacono]

That should have been the main event. That was tremendous. I, of course, lost money on that surroundings.

[Bill Simmons]

The most exciting moment for me, though, is Baby Doll. Jimmy had like this big fire pit with the fire going. Baby Doll sees it and it's just like. It's just like a cheetah seeing its prey. He just has to sit next to it and have at least two Marlboro Reds in a row while flicking it into the fire and then eventually throwing a cigarette in there. Even though it's not a fire, it's like one of those glass things shoot up. Now there's cigarette butts in there, which.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. You're not supposed trash in there. Yeah, but he makes it like it's a carnival game.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, but he, he, he was.

[Sal Iacono]

Listen, I know what I'm doing, baby. I got to get through these three packs before I open the other one.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you got for Parent Corner?

[Sal Iacono]

All right, I got a good one. So on Tuesday, this past Tuesday, my son Jack has a wrestling match. Match, Right. And it's a dual meet against another school, so he's on jv. And when you're on jv, like if you're on varsity, you pretty much feel the full lineup. And you know the opposing team is going to have probably one guy at every weight class, so it'll match up. But if you're on jv, you never know. Like, if the other team only has five extras and you have 20, you're not going to get a match. So I have to go and I have to wait. Whatever. So we get there, he comes in, he's like, I don't have a match. And my wife is working the concession stand. And she's like, oh, well, then you should eat. Then I'm like, well, don't we want to wait? He's like, no, I don't have a match. So she's giving him, like, Costco pizza and, like, peanut MM's. And I'm like, all right, well, I guess that's it. We'll stay and watch. Anyway, 15 minutes later, he comes out. He's like, I have a match. I'm wrestling varsity, the regular varsity kid. He's out with Ringworm. I was like, you got kidding me?

[Bill Simmons]

Ringworm? The only. The only thing you can get from wrestling? There's no other way to get Ringworm unless you're wrestling for somebody.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, guess what? He's also his partner, so he probably has it, too. But anyway, officially, you probably have it. Yes, we all have it now. So I have to talk to him now. So I'm like, all right. Shit, this is crazy. You're wrestling varsity, you know, so, like, if you're losing, you're probably going to be losing because you're a 10th grader on varsity. You know, much experience, you got to save your team points. So if you lose them by five, don't give up, don't go to your back, because if you lose by 10, it costs the team more points than if you lose by six. So anyway, all right, whatever. So he goes out there and it's a wild first period. It's like 10 to 8. There's a takedown or reversal every 15 seconds. The gym is pumped. It's sloppy. The other school, probably not their regular varsity kid, too. Like, maybe their guy had scurvy. I don't know what it is. But anyway, this is a sloppy match. I have no idea. So it's actually nine to eight. Right before the end of the first period, Jack's on bottom, and he throws up the domino's pizza. He throws up on the.

[Bill Simmons]

On the mat?

[Sal Iacono]

Yes, because he overdid it because he didn't know he was going to have a mat. And then they come out and they clean it and have to spray it. And it's like a five minute, you know, like, intermission there. And that's supposed to be it. Like, they don't really. They probably figure you're sick, Right. And then that you have to, like, leave the match. Right. Not that you had too much Costco pizza. Doesn't get the boom, by the way.

[Bill Simmons]

And is there video of him puking or not?

[Sal Iacono]

I'll send it to you. Yeah, it's pretty.

[Bill Simmons]

Is it better than when you puked or seats three or.

[Sal Iacono]

No, the kid's got some ways to go. Okay. But it was interesting nonetheless, but I'll send it to you. He convinces him to let it keep going, and so he goes and he actually escapes to make it 10 to 8. So now the second period, same thing back and forth. They're exhausted. Jack's about to get thrown, but, like, leg trips the kid right onto his back, and the kid's exhausted. He pins the kid, and the gym goes bananas. And the team eventually wins by six points. So he made a difference. So.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow.

[Sal Iacono]

That was it. That was it. And it was. It was pretty freaking great, I have to say. It's like, you know, I could lose, like, a lot of. Like, a lot of bets, and this would make up for it for sure. I like it. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So when they make a movie, it'll be called, like, Vision Puke.

[Sal Iacono]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Vomit Quest.

[Sal Iacono]

Vision Crust, brought to you by Domino's.

[Bill Simmons]

God, that's Parent Corners brought to you by Domino's Pizza. Check out their app. Domino's has a great app.

[Sal Iacono]

Yuck.

[Bill Simmons]

My parent corner, my daughter's boyfriend, Tommy, who's a great kid, she's been dating him for, like, a year. And he was playing, like, a touch football game, and some kid fell into his leg, and he hurt his leg. He broke the top of his tibias. It was, like, in a cast for four weeks. So he ends up moving in because my dad is 12 minutes from where Zoe goes to school. So he moves in with my dad and my stepmom because it's too hard for him. He's, like. Has an apartment in Austin. It's too hard for him to go back and forth, you know, like. So it's just. And then my dad's excited. Cause he is like, a live body to watch sports with. So Tommy's been there for, like, a month, hanging. Hanging with my dad, watching. Watching games and stuff. Which, of course, led to. I insisted that he mailed me videos whenever my dad fell asleep during sporting events, which was every single night. So I'll just be home, and I'll just get this video from Tom, and it's just. It's some exciting, like, fourth quarter of, like, you know, Lakers, Warriors. And then the phone will cut to my dad, and my dad's slumped. Like, he's like, he's dead next to him. So.

[Sal Iacono]

Well, it's probably one in the morning, fourth quarter, like, right.

[Bill Simmons]

That'll stay up for all this stuff, though, really? Okay. And then I'd put all these apps on my dad's tv, including NBA League Pass, which, of course, he has no idea. It's like, all you have to do is you press the Apple tv, the League Pass will come up quick on that. The games will be there, and it's, like, too much for him. All he wants to do is turn on the TV and go to cable. And then the smart TV part has Netflix, and that's all he's capable of. So now Tommy's in there and he's telling me how they're watching NBA games. He's like, yeah, Tommy knows how to get to these NBA games. And I'm like, you mean the NBA games that I put on your TV and was telling you, like, you could click on this? And it's like. So he made it seem like Tommy's, like, red and Shawshank. Like, Tommy's a man who knows how to get things. It's like, you mean Tommy just knows how to press the Apple TV menu? The things comes up, but he presses the thing. Why can't our parents. Why don't they understand how to use remote controls? Like, why is this. Do your parents have trouble with this? Like, getting to the worst.

[Sal Iacono]

My father's fingers are big, so he's breaking the shit out of whether it's a phone or a little Apple remote or something. So it's just not for him. But, yeah, it seems like it should click. They couldn't make it easier.

[Bill Simmons]

They can't get it. Every time my mom goes to see her mom lives here, and every time she's over the first 20 minutes, are her fixing smart TV or something? That happened. I was thinking. I said, to fantasy. I actually think the ringer. We might have to launch a podcast where every episode is somebody telling stories about interactions with their parents and technology. If you have parents over 75. And it's just like, all right, here's my story of when I went over to help fix my mom's Internet. And it just goes, my mom couldn't get on Spectrum for, like, two weeks and called the guys, and the guys came like that. She thought there was a serious problem, and all the guy did was just turn the box off and on and the Spectrum worked.

[Sal Iacono]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, the guy. It was like a house call came in, and that that was the solution was, have you tried turning the box on and off. My mom was like, what do you mean? And did it. And all of a sudden it worked.

[Sal Iacono]

It's. It scares the shit out of them. I didn't think.

[Bill Simmons]

It makes me think, what are we going to be like 30 years from now with like, AI? Are we going to be just as idiotic?

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, we're gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. We could navigate fanduel. We're good. We're good. But no, these people, like my father. I had to take him to dmv, and you have to fill out all the shit on the tablet. You don't write anything.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm like, right.

[Sal Iacono]

If I wasn't there, he would be. He would be there. There wouldn't be cars. There'd be flying cars. By the time he got out of there, he wouldn't be there. Yeah, it's tough. But the bigger point is, you're jealous of Tommy, aren't you?

[Bill Simmons]

I am a little jealous.

[Sal Iacono]

I'm jealous.

[Bill Simmons]

You are. It did make me think of when I lived in Boston. I could just hang out and watch games with my dad and then he would fall asleep in the fourth quarter or whatever. We're watching. Yeah, Tommy. Now, Tommy gets it with his grandfather in law. But here's the other thing. Tommy is a huge Heat fan because my dad watches every Celtic game if he doesn't go. So he feels like he has to, like, you know, kind of join the Celtics thing a little bit. But he's also a Heat fan, so what he does is he bets on the Celtic. It's every game.

[Sal Iacono]

Oh, interesting. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

See, this is why this guy could be the one for my daughter. Like, he's living. He's kind of outside the box, thinking he's living.

[Sal Iacono]

This is a crazy relations set up here, isn't it?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it's only one more week. He's got to start moving around in a week.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

My dad's like, I'm bummed out. We love having him here. What's going on?

[Sal Iacono]

He's paying for the wedding. That's great.

[Bill Simmons]

Anyway, that's paracorder. Sal, what do you got to plug?

[Sal Iacono]

Well, I just came off the ring of pregame show where I'm nine and two.

[Bill Simmons]

You've had a long day. Yeah. Nine and two on your best bets.

[Sal Iacono]

Come on.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow. You were plus 108 to be nine and two with your best bets.

[Sal Iacono]

It was an upset. Who knew I could do it through the ringer with Tate against all odds. We had a nice same game, parlay with the fellows Thursday night and cousin Sal's winning weekend with the great Jim Nance on Friday. What should I ask?

[Bill Simmons]

Hello, my friends.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Hello, friends.

[Bill Simmons]

I think you have to make him rank his top three things he's ever called from three to one.

[Sal Iacono]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

You got to get the bronze medal, silver Merritt gold medal, greatest, greatest things he's called. I have to. You know, he has his top three.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. I also want the top three most annoying things about Tony Romo. I want. I'm going to get it out of him, what he finds.

[Bill Simmons]

Definitely say, like, hey, three years ago, were you mad at Romo when he just wasn't memorizing the numbers of the guys on the thing? Did you get. Did you give him a pep talk?

[Sal Iacono]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Yell at him what happened?

[Sal Iacono]

I love it. It's very exciting.

[Bill Simmons]

Those are. Those are good guests.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, do.

[Sal Iacono]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

We have Sunday pregame show.

[Sal Iacono]

We have a great. Let me. Sorry. Let me shout out Allison Turner, the terrific booker for the ringer. Oh, we love Alison. Great job by her.

[Bill Simmons]

She's great.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I almost don't like that you shattered her out. Now I'm worried he's going to try to hire.

[Sal Iacono]

What do you mean?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, she's one of our favorite employees. Yeah.

[Sal Iacono]

No, no, no.

[Bill Simmons]

Her name is actually really bad.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah, she's not good.

[Bill Simmons]

I had to yell at her a few times last few weeks.

[Sal Iacono]

Yeah. Joe House is the one you want to book your guests. Ringer.

[Bill Simmons]

Sunday pregame. We came up with this new idea, the. What do we call it? The hot fudge sundae with a Y, where everybody has to do a. A parlay of plus or a pick of plus 200 or higher, put them all together, and Today's was like 42 to 1. How many legs did we hit?

[Sal Iacono]

I think we hit two. No, one at one or two. I had the under 31. Tennessee, Minnesota. Yeah, yeah. Freaks out. JJ breaks out in hives because he doesn't like anything over plus 200. He's like. Well, he went, where can I even find this?

[Bill Simmons]

He wanted to do it. It has to be plus 110 or higher for this Sunday. All right, Sal, we'll see you next week. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy.