The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode: “A Round 2 Roller-Coaster Ride, Denver’s QB Plight, and Josh’s Lost Weekend With Cousin Sal”

Date: January 19, 2026
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Cousin Sal

Episode Overview

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal break down an utterly wild NFL Divisional Playoff weekend that saw upsets, quarterback carnage, heartbreak for the Buffalo Bills (and their fans), and improbable paths to the Super Bowl for several flawed teams. The hosts riff on the emotional swings, dissect strategic (and not-so-strategic) decisions, and commiserate over a weekend that's left both viewers and bettors spinning. The conversation weaves together passionate fandom, shrewd observation, a barrage of memorable quotes, and, as ever, some classic sports pain and gallows humor.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Rams vs. Bears: The Caleb Williams Experience

• [02:22–11:42]
  • Caleb Williams’ Chaos: Simmons likens watching Bears rookie QB Caleb Williams to “the experience of watching a really fun NBA player who's all over the map from game to game in a playoff series” ([03:20]).
  • Miraculous Fourth Downs: Sal: “I don't know if he's the best fourth down quarterback we've ever seen in our lives... he’s got, like, nearing a dozen now.” ([02:50])
  • Rams and McVay’s Conservatism: Critique of Rams coach Sean McVay for playing it unusually safe.
  • Analytics vs. Gut: Both feel Bears should have gone for two at the end—Simmons: “Throw out the math. It's just pure...I just feel like they would have gotten it at that point.” ([06:56])
  • Weather as the Great Equalizer: Simmons and Sal discuss how outdoor games and bad weather still matter more than advanced stats often account for—"Is the weather going to be bad because the game's probably going to be close?" ([09:12])

2. Seattle and the Quarterback Carousel

• [12:24–16:27]
  • Seahawks Positioning: Seahawks are now favorites, having beaten multiple playoff teams and with a top-tier DVOA, making this “as good of a chance as you’ve ever had.” ([19:55])
  • Sam Darnold Drama: Darnold’s injury was overblown in media (“Not trusting [Schefter] anymore with info”), and he played fine.
  • Backup QB Playoff Legacies: Long riff on how rare it is for a backup like Stidham to navigate so deep. “The best that's ever worked out was Hostetler and Nick Foles.” – Simmons ([14:15])

3. Patriots vs. Texans: Surviving the Mayhem

• [24:09–36:19]
  • Drake May’s Up-and-Down Performance: “Every game this season he's had a perfect 35, 40 yard throw” but also periods of rough play. ([26:05])
  • Standout Moment: Booty’s one-handed catch in the snow is labeled “the catch of the year” and gets a ranking as potentially top four in Patriots playoff history ([28:38]).
  • Easy Schedule, But: Both joke that Pats’ path to the Super Bowl is so soft it invites an asterisk, but Simmons counters: “We only play who's in front of us.” ([29:08, 30:38])
  • CJ Stroud’s Collapse: Four picks, zero poise, and possibly a long-term hit to his future as Houston’s franchise QB.
  • Pats’ Defense & Run Stopping: Defense sets a record for negative/zero plays and run-stuffs Chargers and Texans in consecutive weeks: “30 carries for 61 yards.” ([33:14])
  • Are the Pats Actually a Super Bowl Team? Sal: “Probably not, but… in that scenario, I think you are.” ([35:55])

4. Bills-Broncos: Josh Allen’s Ongoing Playoff Heartache

• [38:50–56:16]
  • Allen’s Costly Mistakes: “Two picks, two lost fumbles… missed [Knox] for the game-winning touchdown… missed Hardman…” – Simmons ([38:50])
  • Fan Angst and Historic Futility: Allen “is 0 for 6 in this round. I think six overtime games, he had the ball and a chance to win in five of them.” – Sal ([42:24])
  • Blame Game: While Bills fans focus on one controversial overturned catch, Simmons and Sal agree the Bills blew it in many ways.
  • Catch Rule Confusion: “We still don’t know what a catch is.” ([45:45])
  • Historic Comparison: Simmons compares Allen’s playoff struggles to the “star-crossed” careers of Marino and pre-championship Elway and Manning.

5. Denver’s Bad Break (and Good Luck)

• [56:16–63:12]
  • Bo Nix’s Ankle Injury: Heartbreakingly, Nix gets hurt just as Broncos seem poised for a run; Stidham steps in.
  • Broncos’ Defensive Edge: Their success comes as much from luck as skill; upcoming test will be if their defense can slow May and the Pats’ variable offense.

6. Looking Ahead: Conference Championships and Gambling Talk

• [66:11–69:42]
  • QB Matchups: Stidham (with one career win) vs. May vs. aging Stafford vs. Sam Darnold – “What were the odds of that? You think in August you couldn't get it? Is it like a million to one?” ([66:11])
  • Lines and Futures: Pats surprisingly solid favorites over the Broncos (Patriots -5.5), while Seattle is favored in the NFC. Simmons and Sal debate the logic, joke about their betting habits, and set up the week’s gambling narratives.

7. Bills Fan Pain & Emotional Fallout

• [72:41–76:46]
  • Read-aloud listener email: A dad describes his son having an asthma attack after the Bills’ collapse—“I tried explaining that, like the Masters, this is a tradition like no other…” ([72:41])
  • Relatable symmetry to Red Sox “curse” years and the psychological toll of repeated heartbreak.

8. End-of-Show: Parent Corner and Listener Questions

• [80:16–85:06]
  • Sal tells a tale about his wife’s fantasy football punishment league—“I suck at fantasy football” sign or “I give great BJ’s” sign-wearing walk of shame ([82:07]), prompting laughter and mock sympathy.
  • Simmons reflects on lying to his son about post-acceptance senior year grades (“the last stage of Elf on the Shelf”).
• Quick Hits:
  • Listener asks for the NBA equivalent of the Bills—"I don't think you can compare any other sport to what happened to the Bills in the 90s." ([76:09])
  • Schrager’s “re-Apex” theory and “Who’s the 2026 OJ?” (answer: Kelce “if he’d killed Taylor Swift,” with Strahan and Serena Williams in the mix as theoretical pop culture bombshells).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

The Caleb Williams Phenomenon

• “The guy—good or bad—I don't know if he's the best fourth down quarterback we've ever seen in our lives.” – Cousin Sal (02:50)

• “The experience of watching a really fun NBA player who's all over the map… you just don't know what to expect. You don't want to leave the room.” – Bill Simmons (03:20)

Analytics and Playoff Guts

• “Throw out the math. It's just pure...I know the nerds say momentum doesn't happen, but you have that play, you get a touchdown, and I just feel like they would have gotten it [going for two].” – Bill Simmons (06:56)

Bills and Allen’s Playoff Curse

• “Six divisional round games. Zero for six. Can't get past it. I think six overtime games. He had the ball and a chance to win in five of them… He's put up three points in those six games. It's rough.” – Cousin Sal (42:24)

• “I think he's the best player in the league. But I don't know if you can say that anymore if this keeps happening.” – Bill Simmons (41:38)

• “[Buffalo fans]…they want to get concussed so they can forget about all this nonsense every year.” – Cousin Sal (52:33)

Backup QB Carousel

• “Stidham having one career win. I think this would be the new standard if he was able to win two more games.” – Bill Simmons (15:03)

Pats’ ‘Easy’ Path?

• “We can only play who's in front of us.” – Bill Simmons, on critics of New England’s schedule (29:08)

Legendary Fan Pain

• “After the loss to the Broncos, [my son] went full Brad… hysterical crying, purple lips and wheezing. I tried explaining that, like the Masters, this is a tradition like no other.” – Brian, Bills fan email (72:41)

Classic Parent Corner

• “It's a sign that says. It's a fantasy football sign that says, I suck at fantasy football. And it has to go on our lawn for a month. Like, that's not going on our lawn.” – Cousin Sal (82:07)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [02:22]: Caleb Williams’ daredevil heroics and Bears-Rams breakdown
• [09:03]: “We argued about that for 12 hours.” – What is a catch?
• [14:57]: The backup QB debate—Hostetler, Foles, and the “Stidham Standard”
• [28:38]: Pats’ best playoff catches, “Booty catch” in the snow
• [38:50]: Bills-Broncos, Josh Allen’s meltdown, play-by-play of heartbreak
• [41:38]: Simmons questions Allen’s status as best QB after latest loss
• [56:16]: Nix gets injured, Denver’s luck/bad break
• [62:21]: Gambling wars—recapping weekend performance, teasers, and regrets
• [66:11]: The Final Four QB oddity—Stidham, May, Stafford, Darnold
• [72:41]: Bills fan’s brutal email and childhood sports pain
• [80:16]: Parent Corner—fantasy football punishments and Elf on the Shelf
• [88:11]: 2026 “OJ scenario”: Who’d be the modern equivalent?

Summary Tone & Atmosphere

True to form, Simmons and Sal mix sardonic humor with sharp sports insight, bonding through fandom scars old and new. Their bitter laughter and camaraderie create a space where fan pain is both aired and exorcised. The show is filled with pop culture digressions, self-deprecation, and running bits about gambling anguish, schedule luck, and the Sisyphean quest for championship glory.

This episode is essential listening for any fan who ever felt personally wounded by sports—or anyone who’s ever tried (and failed) to make sense of a weekend when nothing made sense, except maybe rooting for chaos.