An NBA Mailbag, Belichick’s Snub, Pats Disrespect, and Half-Baked Ideas With Zach Lowe, Kevin Wildes, and Joe House

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast — January 30, 2026

An NBA Mailbag, Belichick’s Snub, Pats Disrespect, and Half-Baked Ideas

Guests: Zach Lowe, Kevin Wildes, Joe House

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Episode Overview

Bill Simmons hosts a loaded episode diving into NBA trade rumors, fan mailbag questions, and the ongoing saga of the Patriots’ “Nobody Believes in Us” run, joined by NBA insider Zach Lowe, television host Kevin Wildes, and podcast mainstay Joe House. Alongside sharp sports analysis, the crew riffs on the NFL Hall of Fame drama surrounding Bill Belichick, the woes of certain NBA franchises, and rounds out the show with “Half-Baked Ideas”—a recurring segment of fun, zany concepts that veers gleefully off course into coffee, ice cubes, and restaurant towers.

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NBA Mailbag with Zach Lowe ([03:26]–[34:45])

NBA Playoff Landscape and Spurs Analysis

• Spurs’ Maturity and Playoff Potential
  • Simmons and Lowe discuss watching Spurs-Rockets and praise Castle’s defense on Durant.
  • Lowe notes that despite their composure, “it’s hard for young, mostly inexperienced teams to click like that every single game in the playoffs.” ([04:15])
  • The team’s “electric socket guy” is Keldon Johnson, whose play energizes teammates.

Trade Deadline Chatter: Giannis, Miami, Golden State

• Mailbag question about Miami’s asset limitations and possible “pick swaps” to circumvent rules.
  • Lowe references past creative trades like Phoenix/Utah and suggests such maneuvers are possible ([05:44]).
• “The only trade I've heard of that pretty confident is true is that they could have turned Kaminga into Caruso...” – Simmons ([10:30])
• On Warriors’ failed extensions and draft misses: “The biggest thing you can kick them on, because drafts—whatever, you can always go one way or the other—the Poole extension’s the worst thing they did.” – Simmons ([12:57])

Lawler’s Law and the Changing NBA Scoring Landscape

• Mailbag discusses whether the benchmark “first to 100” still has predictive value.
  • “Lawler's Law is always going to be 100 and then the new benchmark...” – Lowe ([07:53])
  • Consensus: Move to 115 points as the new marker.

Playoff Players and Clippers Skepticism

• The panel agrees that Kawhi Leonard is the player they’d least want to face (“If he’s healthy, he can win a series or two with that Clippers lineup.” — Simmons, [13:32]), but everyone remains wary of the perennial Clippers hype cycle.

GM Hypotheticals and Team Misery Tiers

• “I don't think being a GM is fun. I actually don't think it's fun.” – Lowe ([16:48])
• Extended riff on the mismanagement of the Chicago Bulls and the fanbase’s despair: “They're the most unhappy fan base.” – Lowe ([19:38]).
• Sacramento Kings: “Sacramento is the most damage[d]. … You could probably do a pretty good documentary about how dark it is for them.” – Simmons ([19:49])

Lottery Karma & Theoretical Conspiracies

• Discussion of “league karma” and the theory that the NBA awards lottery picks as market corrections/conspiratorial favors.
  • Simmons pitches, “OKC getting the number one pick from the Clippers as the aspiration penalty to the Clippers.” ([29:10])

Steph Curry hypotheticals: Should the Warriors ever trade him?

• “That’s the only way it could ever happen [if Steph publicly requests it]. … One-team players are kind of rare and cool.” – Lowe ([30:36])

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NFL: Patriots Disrespect, Hall of Fame Drama, and Nostalgia ([34:46]–[65:10])

The “Nobody Believes in Us” Patriots

• Bill dons a “retro” Tony Simmons Pats jersey and the trio (Wildes, House, Simmons) recount heartbreaks and glories of New England postseasons.
• “Came in because the nobody believes in us Pats are back … Belichick's getting snubbed from the Super Bowl. We're underdogs.” – Simmons ([36:20])
• On bonds of fandom: “We were favored in both of those Giants games. The letdown was even harder. … But now … we’re four-and-a-half point underdogs, we're supposed to lose.” – Wildes ([42:20])

Super Bowl Stakes & Rankings

• Where would another Pats title rank?
  • “Nothing will ever be 2001 … This might be three if they did this.” – Simmons ([43:24])
  • For Wildes, as a father: “This is the first one that my kids are super into … This has an opportunity to be won.” ([44:17])
• Drake May and the Pats QB narrative; discussing Cam Newton’s legacy and influence on the current team.
  • “You are responsible for Drake's greatness … you put this into the playbook for the Patriots.” – Wildes, addressing Cam Newton ([49:27])

The Weather Factor

• “They haven't played a normal weather game in like a month. … This has been the entire Patriots playoff run.” – Simmons ([50:52])

Betting Angles & Underdog Vibes

• Examination of point spreads, underdog psychology, and the history of Super Bowl odds:
  • “Either outcome would be the second biggest future odd that we've had since 1977.” – Simmons ([57:22])

Belichick Hall of Fame Snub Rant

• “Your process has led to the best coach in the history of the league not making the hall of fame the first thing. … Actually made me mad.” – Simmons ([61:19])
• “[It] made Belichick a sympathetic figure, which was like impossible. What were the odds of that? That was 80 to 1.” – Simmons ([61:33])

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Half-Baked Ideas with Wildes & House ([66:58]–[108:20])

Restaurant and Food Concepts

• “Credit card roulette” restaurant—everyone plays, footage used for social promo.
• “Tower” restaurant: Any food—a burger, waffles, salad—presented in a multi-level tower, not just seafood.
  • “We have the credit card roulette, and we'll have to come up with a clever name for it. But the name of the restaurant is the Tower. And everything you order … a burger tower is immediately … you climbing all the way up to your most decadent.” – House ([71:01])

Bars with Weather Simulation

• “A bar that controls the elements, but the elements are of your favorite home team.” – Wildes ([77:12])
  • For LA Patriots fans, the bar could simulate Foxborough’s cold/rain or Miami’s heat as appropriate.

NBA All-Star Royal Rumble

• User-submitted: “NBA Royal Rumble—a one-on-one or two-on-two, but ‘Royal Rumble’ rules, with current, retired, and college players entering at intervals. Belt, music, surprises.”
  • “The best all Star Saturday event. That’s a free half baked idea.” – Wildes ([78:44])
  • Consensus: The zaniness, chaos, and surprise element win everyone over.

Sports Tech/Super-Fan Data Analytics

• Use biometric data (heart rate, dopamine, pupil dilation) from super-fans to help coaches make game decisions.
  • “There's no more honest reaction in sports than people rooting for their own team … I would still take a hundred times out of a hundred over the analytic charts…” – Simmons ([95:12])

Everyday Life Ideas

• Delivering specific ice cubes for drinks is better than regular cubes.
• On Postmates/Doordash dog-walking: “Why don’t we have postmates dog walkers, like 9:30 at night? Murph probably needs to go out and walk around, but I want to watch this Clippers game … someone just shows up and walks the dog.” – Simmons ([97:01])
• “TaskRabbit for shoveling snow” — House shares recent DC experiences with heavy snow ([98:10]).

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Coffee Corner/Parent Corner ([100:08]–[108:22])

• Simmons reflects on his son Ben’s new appreciation for coffee: “I almost started sobbing tears of joy. I've never felt closer to you in 18 years.” ([103:08])
• “Coffee is the best drug.” – Wildes ([102:16])
• House: “I don’t put anything in it. … I have a trenta iced coffee … and they add an espresso shot to it. And I’m able to do podcasts for three hours at a time. Please try coffee.” ([102:18])

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Selected Notable Quotes and Moments

• On Lawler’s Law and shifting NBA benchmarks:
  • “Lawler's Law is always going to be 100 and then the new benchmark...” – Lowe ([07:53])
• On the emotional toll of being an NBA GM:
  • “I don't think being a GM is fun. I actually don't think it's fun.” – Lowe ([16:48])
• On the perpetual frustration of running the Bulls:
  • “Chicago Bulls, man. Every Bulls fan I know or even peripherally know feels exactly the same as that guy.” – Simmons ([19:31])
• On the Patriots’ nobody-believes-in-us cycle:
  • “But now that we're 4.5-point underdogs, we're supposed to lose. … The high is going to be extra high this year.” – Wildes ([42:20])
• On experimental restaurant “Tower” concepts:
  • “We’re opening two new restaurants. … Everything you order … burger tower is immediately the number one for me.” – House ([71:01])
• On the NFL Hall of Fame:
  • “Your process has led to the best coach in the history of the league not making the hall of fame the first thing.” – Simmons ([61:19])

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode blends classic Bill Simmons: spirited, informed hoops debate and Patriots emotional therapy, but with loads of levity—a perfect entry point for both hoops junkies and sports casuals. Mailbag questions drive much of the NBA segment, with Zach Lowe bringing high-level context and dry wit. The latter half, with Wildes and House, leans hard into irreverence and nostalgia, capped by a joyful plunge into “Half-Baked Ideas” and the reverence of everyone’s favorite legal stimulant—coffee.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• NBA Mailbag & Lawler’s Law Redefinition: [03:26]–[13:32]
• Clippers Hype Cycle: [13:35]–[15:44]
• Bulls/Sacramento Franchise Misery: [19:19]–[20:53]
• NBA Lottery Karma/Conspiracies: [27:15]–[29:10]
• Steph Curry Trade Hypotheticals: [30:36]–[32:29]
• “Nobody Believes in Us” Patriots: [36:20]–[44:28]
• Hall of Fame/Belichick Rant: [61:19]–[62:21]
• Half-Baked Ideas (Tower Restaurants, NBA Rumble, Dog Walking): [66:58]–[100:08]
• Coffee, Parenting & Life’s Pleasures: [100:08]–[108:22]

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Tone and Style

Conversational, playful, occasionally self-deprecating and nostalgic, with earnest analysis—reflective of longtime friends riffing with equal parts heart and brains.

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For full context and maximum fun, listen to the full episode—ads and intros mostly excluded above. If you love sports, comedy, and wild ideas, you’re in the right place.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Firehouse Subs who just dropped a game changing sandwich. The French Dip. Literally one of my favorite sandwiches slash subs. Roast beef, caramelized onions, melty cheese, little freshly toasted garlic butter roll and the warm savory au jus. I've been eating these forever since I was living on the east coast in la. I think to me this versus the cheesesteak, the French dip, no contest, way better. And I think it's really because of the au jus. I don't know anybody who doesn't like au jus. An elite game day sub. Fun to order by the way if you want it delivered because they usually put the au jus in the special little container you can pour it on. Knock yourself out. The French Dip here for a limited time. I wish it was longer only at Firehouse Subs. Limited time at participating Firehouse Subs restaurants while supplies last. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. We are also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network where the Rewatchables recently moved to Netflix while staying on Spotify as a video podcast. And it's all over the place on other platforms, but you can also get it on Netflix. We did Zodiac on Monday. We have Wild Things, which a movie that's on Netflix right now that's coming next Monday. And if you want to know everything that's happening with this podcast or the Rewatchables or any other podcast we're doing on Netflix, all you have to do is find the podcast and click on my list and just add the podcast and then every time we have a new one, it'll pop up on Netflix like this one is about to coming up. Zach Lowe was here because he was recording his podcast in this very studio. So I grabbed him and we did a little mailbag at the top about the NBA. And then old friend Kevin Wilds joined me and Joe House. We talked about this Patriots Nobody Believes in Us run that is apparently happening now. Super bowl stuff, Belichick. And then we did Half Baked Ideas and it was very fun and I had a great time and I got to talk about coffee for long, long stretches. So that is all coming up. We're gonna take a break. Pearl Jam and then Zach Club. The Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by FanDuel. Playoff mode is on. FanDuel's got it all. Same game parlays, quick bets for jumping in live offers to boost your winnings every game day. You do not want to miss out on the playoff Action. The remaining playoff action we have on FanDuel. Download the FanDuel app or head to FanDuel.com BS to get started. 21 in President Select States or 18 in President D.C. kentucky or Wyoming Prom call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut. All right, Zach Lowe is here. He actually used my studio for his podcast, the Zach Lowe show today.

[B]

I didn't break in and then you're.

[A]

Gonna be on Amazon tonight. So I was like, well, you're here. Let's do some mailbag questions. You and I watched Rockets spurs last night, and Castle was the one. I know you probably talked about it on your pod, but Castle was the one taking it to Durant in a really unusual way. I was trying to. We were trying to think last night, like all the times we've seen somebody do that to Durant wasn't like he was doing it for two hours, but there was a moment in the fourth quarter when he turned it up. And just in general, how comfortable the spurs seemed against the Rockets. Now, no Steven Adams now Van Vliet obviously gone. And then on the other side, you have very comfortable against OKC yet. I don't think the spurs are going to make the Finals, do you? Yet they're comfortable against the two teams I'd want to be comfortable against. Other than Denver.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I think they could. I would still slot them behind Oklahoma City and Denver, assuming Denver gets healthy. I think they could. I just. To win all those playoff series in a row is hard, but they're legit really good. I mean, last night was a very good Dylan Harper game. He's kind of been in a slump for a while, so, like when everything clicks, they can beat anybody. But it's hard for young, mostly inexperienced teams to click like that. Every single game in the playoffs could.

[A]

Be like an OKC two years ago, where there's a lot of we're ready, but there's also some we're not quite ready. I gave you my theory about Keldon Johnson being the electric socket guy.

[B]

I like that guy. I like that theory.

[A]

Every once in a while a team has a guy that the other teammates love so much. When he does well, it just supercharges the team, and I feel like he's one of those guys. And Giannis, who you talked about in your pod as well. But we just feel like this is a holding pattern now.

[B]

Anytime in the next Week. Just get your phone. Keep your phone alerts on. Or it could drag again into the summer. Who knows?

[A]

I got a couple emails about this. Cause I'm going to do some mailbag questions with you and I'll just. I can't even find the one I want to use. But it was a couple versions of the same thing. Miami can only trade two picks because they have this weird 2027 situation. Why couldn't a team just trade them another pick that could substitute and make it so that they could actually do the four first? We don't see it that often, but it does feel like there's some chicanery in play that they could do.

[B]

That could happen. Like, what was it last year? Phoenix traded one of their unprotected picks for three picks from Utah to give them more flexibility. And so, like, you could have. You could. Bobby Marks mentioned that you could see that.

[A]

Because it feels like Miami and Golden State are the two that would have the urgency to maybe try to jump in now before it gets to the summer. And Miami's problem is the picks. Golden State's problem is they don't really have the interesting player to put in there. Now, I could argue Miami. I don't know if Tyler Herro is interesting either, but maybe Ware is. Does Bam need to be in that trade?

[B]

He's not going to be in that trade. I don't think so.

[A]

What if I'm Milwaukee? I'm like, cool, I'm glad you want Giannis. Let's talk about Bam. Well, we're not trading Bam. Okay. Good luck with everything. Thanks.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, look, I don't think Bam makes a ton of sense for Milwaukee if they pivot into a rebuild. Unless they think they can then flip Bam for other stuff, which is easier said than done when your contract is as big as his is. Same with Kat.

[A]

I wonder if we could all lead to my dream of having Bam, Monk and Fox on the same team again.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

One of my, like, deepest, stupidest NBA dreams is just to get those three. Yeah, they had the tough loss in the tournament. Get those guys back. All right, here we go. Wow.

[B]

I didn't know that about you that you had.

[A]

I've always said, you know, I have some dreams. Mailbag.

[B]

I have no idea what's coming. We could. This could go. Just to make clear, this is your.

[A]

Worst nightmare, Being completely oppressed.

[B]

I'm free.

[A]

Well, this is true. Yeah, well, you're fresh off confidence boost. We taped up rewatchables with you yesterday. Not even going to say what the movie was.

[C]

No, it was fun.

[A]

It's lurking. So now you're going on Amazon tonight. I'm catching you a good time. Paul Peters writes. We've always heard about.

[B]

They said Paul Pierce for a second.

[A]

Paul Peters. We've always heard about the first team to get 100 as a marker for likelihood to win the game. With the current scoring influx, is it time to rethink the benchmark? I agree with this. I think Lawler's Law is dead. So what's the number?

[B]

I think first of all, I think you have to just. Lawler's Law is so good.

[A]

But I'm just. Let's pump it.

[B]

But, but you have to just. Every time a team crosses a hundred, you have to just hat tip Ralph Lawler, who's just the best.

[A]

So does it stay Lawler's Law at a hundred and then we give somebody else.

[B]

Lawler's Law is always going to be a hundred and then the new benchmark.

[A]

It's not a law, though. It's just getting the team score. Everybody's scoring 120 points a game.

[B]

I understand. I'm just saying it's Lawler's. I mean, we can get Ralph Lawler on the pod and ask him what he thinks about this. If we should amend. There should be a Lawler corollary.

[A]

It seems like I'm good to. I'm good. If we move it to 110, I guess what's the number?

[B]

I think it's gotta be 115. I did this. I didn't. Without researching. 120 seems a tick high. 110 seems a tick low. I'm going to go 115.

[A]

Every single team in the league, I think is averaging at least like 113, 114, except for maybe like one.

[B]

So 115 might be too low.

[A]

Well, I'm going 115 because think about when he did Law. There's on the hundreds for 100. Teams were averaging like 94, 95 a game. So if you got to 100, it was like, oh yeah, we're winning, we're at 100. So I think it's at least 150.

[B]

But what do we name it? Your point is, do we just amend Lawler's Law or do we have Lawler's Law and a new law?

[A]

I think Lawlor would have to.

[B]

He gets to weigh in, have a press conference. He gets to weigh in.

[A]

It's like, thank you for your consideration this time. I'd like to now amend this to 115. And we're like, good Lawler's law. New.

[B]

Maybe I'm in rewatchables mode, but we just have an aside on Ralph Lawlor.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Opening scene of Drive is one of my Drive. Is that the Ryan Gosling movie?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

One of my all time favorite scenes in any movie. And I just love that he's listening to a Clippers game and not a Lakers game. It's just such a great touch of this guy. Is he a Clippers fan?

[A]

Probably written by a Boston guy. Trey from Scottsdale.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He says, I've been seeing the warriors front office get a lot of shit across fan pages for how they couldn't extend the window and I'm unsure how that could have happened. Was there a trade staring them in the face they didn't make? Was there a player they passed on for someone else? Sometimes windows close with a slow, steady decline. This one had an uptick in the middle, so it feels different. Of course, if they get Giannis in a week, this is moot. It's the two drafts I think people point to and then not trading the picks, not trading Kaminga or even Wiseman during the one and a half years. He probably had value, just not springing into action with assets the way if LeBron had been on that team instead of Curry, I think LeBron would have pressured that team. What are we doing? I'm running out of time. You've got to turn these guys into something. They did the opposite. They tried to do the two timelines. The only trade I've heard of that pretty confident is true is that they could have turned Kaminga into Caruso around the time of Giddey. I don't know if it was during the February before the Giddy trade or that summer, but it was. That was Kaminga's value for a while. It was in that teams that would trade a really good role player for a young up and coming guy. But did you hear anything else? Like, what else could they have done?

[B]

They were definitely in on Caruso. I'd have to go back and dig into the.

[A]

Dig into your notes, your Zodiac notes.

[B]

My Zodiac. But this is like I've had this conversation with warriors higher ups several times, including several times in the last few weeks, like, what's the missed opportunity? And like I wrote to CS Pen, like, they, they've floated the number two pick. They tried to see what they could.

[A]

Get for it and nobody wanted to trade.

[B]

And it was like, you know, like, could they have gotten in like the Bradley Beal Sweepstakes or the Ben Simmons sweepstakes? I mean, are those things changing your life as a team? They tried to get Siakam. They tried to get Anunobi. They. In, like, they had the Markin and Paul George thing that they were trying to do. I think that one's instructive because, like, they didn't have enough to get both of them. And then Paul George had a little say in that himself because it was. It was like, a lot of balls in play. But, like, could they have traded everything for Lowry Marketen? Maybe it's like everything. Like Kaminga Pachymski, like, four picks, whatever. But if you trade everything for one guy and he's. What's Larry Markin? The 22nd best player in the NBA? 18th best player.

[A]

And also, does it make them a title contender?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. So, yeah, I don't know that there was the. The move or moves that are out there, other than how your life changes if you get the Wiseman pick. Right. And what that trade, I can't hang it on.

[A]

I think that Covid draft, everybody was wrong. Just like the next draft we can kill them on. They had these two awesome picks, and they both times picked the wrong guy. And that's. And I. We both know they were split in the draft room for who to take. They took Kamingo over Franz Wagner, and they took Moody over Trey Murphy, and there might have even been some Shingoon buzz in there. And they just. They went over two. I think the biggest thing you can kick them on, because drafts, whatever there's. You can always go one way or the other. The pool extension's the worst thing they did in the five years. That was the most indefensible one because they didn't take care of Draymond, so they took care of Poole. They had the Draymond thing looming that they didn't really do anything with. And could your daughter have figured out that that was gonna be a problem? Like, how young of a child do you have to be to figure out this is probably gonna go badly, that you did this?

[B]

And yet you yourself last night were remarking on how Jordan Poole hurt the Celtics. Your beloved Celtics killed them in the.

[A]

Finals, but they didn't need to sign him for $30 million a year when they did. They could have waited. He could have been a trade asset. They could have seen if this was real or not. They could have maybe used him in February. I think that was the biggest mistake they made, and that's the one I Think they can get dinged on Tom Adelaide in South Australia? Okay, who's the guy you don't want to see come playoffs? For me, it's Kawhi. If he's healthy, he can win a series or two with that Clippers lineup. I assume he doesn't mean Jokic or sga. Probably like next level.

[B]

Yeah, I was going to say beat Jokic, but I guess we can't say that.

[A]

But hold that because this leads to the next question. This is from James and Drake. It's a Clippers related question.

[B]

Jameson Drake. Yeah.

[A]

My favorite thing every NBA season is the Clippers roller coaster that the media goes on. That reaches a point in the middle of every season where the media fully buys into the Clippers and the way they are playing. This is an obvious case of amnesia. They will inevitably lose the series in the playoffs that they shouldn't for three reasons. One, they're the Clippers. Two, did you write this email? I didn't write this. James Harden always disappears when it matters most. And three, you cannot count on Kawhi's health on the roller coaster. Is this the peak of Clippers hype right now?

[B]

We're getting. We're getting close. I mean 8, like 3, 17 and 300.

[A]

So we're almost, almost at the top.

[B]

Before we're about to have the shoe drop soon. I mean, history would say, like, are you buying it? You said they were the second best team in the west going into the playoffs last year.

[A]

The Kawhi thing, I don't. Last year was my last time ever trusting a hardened team in the playoffs because watching him not look at the rim for the first half of game, that was my never again moment. Never again did you pick them in that scene. It's like Tom Hankston castaway when he gets mad at Wilson and then he finds him in the water. He's like, never again is he mad at Wilson. Well, he got mad at Wilson. He thought Wilson was talking back to him. Wilson was a volleyball who knocked him.

[B]

In a. I just remember Wilson falling off the raft. Oh, I thought he fell off the raft. That's right. He throws him off and then he regrets it immediately. That's right.

[A]

Never again. That was me with James Harden watching him just.

[B]

I can't believe you were still holding out.

[A]

I thought they were really good, but I made.

[B]

They were really good.

[A]

My weakness as an evaluator is if I see a game in person, I overrate the game in my head later. Like if I actually see the matchup and I catch One team on an awesome night and the other team on not a good night. My brain can't properly calibrate that. So I'm like, the Clippers, they play awesome against okc. And you just kind of get carried away with that. With that said, I thought they really could have beaten Denver in that series. And Denver, it took everything. They had everything.

[B]

And yet it ended in exactly the way.

[A]

And yet it ended the Clippers way. So we agree it's close to the hype, but not totally. All right, next question from Randy. Randy, if the owner of the Brooklyn Nets offered you a six year contract to be the GM position of the Nets with all powers of decision making, would you take the job? You can continue all podcasting. That would go great and are even encouraged. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Or even encouraged to regularly talk about life as a GM on your podcast. However, you'll be judged for life based on your success or failure as a gm. Here's the key question. Is there any NBA team you would not accept this offer from? I think both of us would probably take G. Like we could be talked into GM jobs.

[B]

Six year contract.

[A]

Six year contract.

[B]

I'm not taking a six year contract ever.

[A]

Not even to be a gm.

[B]

The only reason I would take a contract to be a GM is for the money. And then it would have to be a two or three year contract. That's it. Unless I intentionally get am I serving all six years no matter what? Or can I get myself fired?

[A]

But I gave some payment. You could just emulate some of the GMs we've had the last 25 years.

[B]

But I want all my money. I want all my money.

[A]

You'll get all your money. It's a six year guaranteed deal.

[B]

I don't think being a GM is fun. I actually don't think it's fun. I don't think GMs really like their jobs unless their team is awesome and they have a chance to win the championship. People think the GMs are like. The idea that you could continue podcasting while being a GM is insane. It's not possible. It's a 247 job and not as much of it as anyone thinks. Not nearly as much as like scratching out trade ideas on the whiteboard and calling Darryl. I mean, there's some of that calling Daryl Morey. There's also just so much of like, oh, this is the agent of my 15th guy calling to complain about shit. And like this assistant coach wants to take a job over there and I.

[A]

Gotta put out that sounds like my list.

[B]

It's just. It's not. It's not. You don't see your family or traveling all the time. It's not worth it. I'm out.

[A]

I'm out.

[B]

Unless it's a three year contract. I think I get paid a lot of money.

[A]

I would only take one job if it was the. To help run the expansion Seattle SuperSonics. That'd be it. I'd. I love the Celtics too much to want to take another job.

[B]

I think you would damage the Celtics. I think it would just. I think it would go badly.

[A]

No, I couldn't take the Celtics. I would never do that. Because if you fail running your favorite team, how do you. Where do you go from there?

[B]

This is what we're hoping doesn't happen with David Stearns, but.

[A]

Well, true, but Seattle, the chance to like be on the ground floor with that and basically try to do a presti. I'd at least have a.

[B]

Here's another one. Here's another one. I've had this conversation with. A few would be or currently are in demand like big team executives. Someone has to save the Bulls. Some like.

[A]

I have a question about this.

[B]

Like you're talking about like you'd be a hero in Seattle if you revived the Sonics. If ownership would ever just get out of the way. Whoever saves the Bulls, it's like a hero. You revive the brand. One of the brand name franchises in all of sports that's just been more so.

[A]

That one I would consider so destitute. Bulls fan Shane wrote in. I have less of a question, more of a plea. We desperately need the national media to start coming down on Jerry Reinst the way they do on the other bad owners. Reinsdorf. I don't think everyone is aware of the magnitude of Bulls fans desperation. It took so long to fire Garform and John Paxton. Bulls fans raised $8,000 in a GoFundMe to put up a billboard that said Fire Gar packs. Six years later, we hate this front office even more. Reinstar allegedly once advised another GM in baseball to always finish second because it keeps the fans wanting more. I never heard that story.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

This guy sucks. The Bulls suck, the White Sox suck. Oh, and we have to pay extra to watch them lose on a private stream steaming service. Steve is not happy.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is Chicago Bulls, man.

[A]

Every Bulls fan I know or even peripherally know feels exactly the same as that guy. Everyone hates the Bulls front office.

[B]

They're the most unhappy fan base. Sacramento's fan base is just beaten down to the point of like, I can't even summon rage anymore. The Bulls fan base is the angriest.

[A]

Sacramento is the most damage. Like you could. You could probably do a pretty good documentary about how dark it is for them.

[B]

Was the qu. He didn't have a question.

[A]

Well, Randy. Well, his. The Chicago fans question was, why don't we hammer them? Randy's question was, is there any NBA team you would not accept this offer from? Like assuming both of us wanted to be GMs, is there a team we'd cross up? I thought the same thing you did in Sacramento. And I would also not accept New Orleans.

[B]

No, I would do Sacramento. I would do Sacramento. I would do Sacramento. But I would negotiate in my contract. I'm allowed to write a tell all book after I get fired.

[A]

That would make more than money that I'll do it. I can't imagine running the kinks and you're working on a trade for two days and then Vivek comes in with whoever his right hand person is at the time that he inexplicably listens to and you lay out the trade and they're just like, nah, we don't like it. What about trading for Zach Levine? Should we do that? And then what about the Bulls?

[B]

Should we just get all the Bulls, the former Bulls, and try to make that work?

[A]

They should just trade rosters. Quick one from Brett W. Here's one. Porzingis is traded at the deadline. He's waived by a new team at the buyout deadline, and then the Celtics sign him on a minimum, send him to Germany for some treatment and he's miraculously healthy enough to give them 20 minutes a game off the bench during the playoffs. And Tatum is back as well. Possible question mark. I did get excited when I read this because if Atlanta does make a big move and Porzingis ostensibly is in it, it's probably to a team that then waves Porzingis, I would guess, and allows them to buy a contender. And at that point the Lakers probably come flying in, I would guess.

[B]

Do you have any faith that he's going to play?

[A]

I don't. But if it's like a minimum last two months of the season, you got.

[B]

To think about it. You and I were talking about this last night how I sound like an old man sometimes now talking to NBA people who are like, well, Anthony Davis should get traded here and Jeremy Grant could get traded here. I'm like, they never play. Like I sound like my dad. Like he doesn't play basketball.

[A]

Yeah, he doesn't play.

[B]

I want my players to play.

[A]

Get sort of getting close to that. Giannis Point talked about that with legs on Tuesday. I don't. Are you playing 75 games? Another one is Cam Johnson. Great guy. Everybody loves Cam Johnson. Can you get on the basketball court? How many games are you going to play? Jalen, Suggs, these guys in these 40 to 65. Yeah. Honestly, some guys are more durable than others. We were talking about Jalen last night. I literally can't remember a Jalen injury. Like, do you.

[B]

And when you said that, I said knock on wood. Because people said the same thing about Tatum right up until.

[A]

Right. But two of the more durable young guys we've had, but they also really take care of their bodies. This is a good one from. I don't know how to say this because it's an international name. J N N E. So maybe Jan Johnny east vs West All Star Game winning conference has home court for the finals. The coaches and players would care. The counterargument should be that team records are the fairest way to determine home court. But is it? Conferences have different schedules. They're imbalanced. Would this work? No.

[B]

Didn't baseball tried this? Right. And just immediately was like, this is not a good idea.

[A]

I don't think it would work either. But you know what would work? Just getting rid of the All Star Game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm out of 20 years of ideas of how to save the All Star Game. Maybe the idea is to just not have it.

[B]

I'm officially just out of the conversation. It's not going to happen.

[A]

I don't want to go. I don't want to watch it. They don't care. They're going to have it every year.

[B]

My only contribution would be 12. If you want to expand it to 13, 14, fine. Just east, west, just scrap all this other shit. Have a 48 minute game. I can't even if people ask me if fans, actual fans are like, hey, how's the All Star Game working this year? I'm like, oh, it's interesting you ask. So first we split them up into international versus us but there's two US teams and one international team. Then team A plays team B in a game. No, a quarter. And then team B plays team C. Oh, in another game. No, it's the second quarter of the game, then the third. I'm like, I'm just. If this is what we're doing, like.

[A]

It is a great point. If you can't. If it takes more than a Sentence to explain something. It's a bad idea. Yeah.

[B]

Is there like if there's a loser's bracket within the game, it's like let's just call it a day.

[A]

I give up. I'll probably go this year because it's in la. So we missed this last night. Cleveland Lakers after Jaron Tyson said in the post game Lakers interview that this is Donovan Mitchell City now the look on Mitchell's face was the same as Vito Corleone. When Sonny talks out of turn during this lots of meeting I have a set of weakness for my young teammates that I spoil them. As you can see they talk when they should listen. But it is funny that what a quick email into the mailbox where there's a freeze frame picture of him saying that and then Mitchell like because it was.

[B]

It's good because he's taller than Jaylen. Tyson's taller than Mitchell. So Mitchell's like did you see jail? And Tyson issued an apology for real for that. He clarified afterwards like I wasn't trying to step on anyone's toes or disrespect anybody.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

It's like we can't even have any fun.

[A]

Like we got to apologize anywhere. Bill H. For any trade combo you always hear things like T Max can trade two first rounders today after the draft they can trade four because of stipian roll and all that stuff. My question is could teams have a handshake agreement to trade a pick later I'll trade you Kat and Bridges for Giannis right now and on draft night I'll trade you three first rounders for Gary Trent. Is this legal and why wouldn't it be? What would they do if this happened?

[B]

This is.

[A]

They do a trade, they just keep everything else quiet. And then the night before the draft three first rounders for Gary Trent and they're like was that related to the honest trade? Like not as far as you know.

[B]

Just love Gary Trent, just been trying to get him for years.

[A]

We just, we two first rounders wouldn't get him good value. Giannis really wanted him but what would they do? Would they block it?

[B]

It's a great question. There would definitely be an uproar from the other teams considering they can't figure.

[A]

Out what to do with the Terry Rozier contract. Similar.

[B]

It's similar. It's not similar but like I don't know if there's a pre existing agreement that can be documented in any way. Sees the cell phones, you know that would have like probably against the rules.

[A]

Almost like breaking Bad. Like a remote location where they. Where there's, like, almost like a desert where they're, like, drilling for oil. And you'd have to just meet out there, not bring yourself home.

[B]

I always wonder, what was I watching? Where there was a meeting like that. Oh, one battle after another, right? How much time do people have? I just gotta drive. Or are those places just so accessible? Like, oh, it's 30 minutes. I'll just be in the middle of nowhere.

[A]

California. You just go towards, like, San Bernardino, and you could find.

[B]

45 minutes.

[A]

Yeah, 45 minutes. Okay, John from Georgia. Last question. I have a theory that the NBA's top brass engineers the draft as some sort of market correction in terms of karma. Prime examples, Pelicans getting the number one pick in the AD draft after the Benson family buys the franchise. You could also throw in Kyrie. The Kyrie Cavs pick the year after LeBron left.

[B]

I thought that was coming in the email.

[A]

He said the Mavs securing the number one pick in the Cooper Flag draft after Trey Luka. Obviously, this is. This is spurious if this theory holds this year. Okay, I'm curious who you think has the best case for the number one pick in the 26 draft based on all the times this has happened and we've gone?

[B]

Huh.

[A]

So who would that be this year? Would it be Milwaukee trading Giannis and then somehow getting the number one pick?

[B]

I'm a little confused by the definition of, like, what kind of karma.

[A]

Is it just some sort of, like, because Dallas didn't.

[B]

I don't. Dallas, like, Was not. Should not have been rewarded or.

[A]

I don't think that's the case for that one.

[B]

They should have had bad karma.

[A]

But the case for that one is the league's like, holy shit, we have to save basketball. And Dallas, like, they might actually move out of Dallas if we don't throw them a bone. There's been a few of these. There was the Zion Williamson one, was another one where it's like, oh, interesting that that team won. And maybe the karma team isn't there yet. I'll tell you who it.

[B]

How about this?

[A]

Oh, you got one. Well, I mean, I'm excited.

[B]

I'm going, good karma. I'm going like, no team who's sitting guys left and right for fake reasons. No team who's been just incompetent for a long time, like Washington or the Kings. Okay.

[A]

Tough to rule them out.

[B]

I mean, I'm just ruling them out. How about Charlotte gets the number one pick?

[A]

So Charlotte, when I used to do the lottery karma rankings. And Charlotte would be the number one candidate this year because they've tried hard all year, probably not making the playoffs.

[B]

They're not far from the play in now, if they get in the play in.

[A]

But that's not this question.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This question is the league, the league trying to send a message or trying to do somebody a solid?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I think the answer is OKC getting the number one pick from the Clippers as the aspiration penalty to the Clippers.

[B]

That's really good.

[A]

It's like we couldn't find anything but. And then all of a sudden OKC gets AJ DeBancer, whoever they get Darren Peterson. I'm cooling on based on the Ben Simmons. I'm not positive you like basketball because you're not playing basketball. What's going on with you?

[B]

So this relates to my. One of my rules if I'm the commissioner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you've traded a pick outright, you should still have to be on the lottery dais with like the team you've traded it to. You have to sit next to the.

[A]

Humiliation Cersei doing the shame. Yeah.

[B]

You should still have to be out there.

[A]

Last question. Because I got this a bunch. Last question. Be on the last questions. People keep asking me, would the warriors actually trade Steph if it was that bleak and he wanted it. And also anecdotally people ask me this too, because everybody loves Steph. Nobody wants to see him in the Kobe last four years with the Lakers. Just kind of lottery death spiral. Nobody wants that. And maybe he just wants to stay and he doesn't care and he's got a great house and that's where he wants to live. But do you think if he went to them and said, you know what? I actually wanna chase a title, is it just off limits? Would they do, like, how would that play out?

[B]

I think that's the only way it could ever happen. And I think even in that case, you would have to be completely publicly transparent about it. Like, Steph would have to give a press conference where he talked about, look, I love Golden State. I just have two more years left. I wanna try for a ring. And like Mike Dunleavy Jr. Would have to be at the press conference. Like, we didn't really wanna do this, but this is like, we love this guy. We love each other. Done out of love. And that's the only. It's the only way I can see it happening because.

[A]

But like, like, well, can I give you a scenario? Sure. Let's say Charlotte does stumble into a top three pick on top of the team they have and two years from now they're okay seeing 20, 23 range. And the warriors, it's just dark. And Steph's like, you know, it'd be cool if I could just go home, go home, join this. And everybody's like, yeah, that would be pretty cool. I the reason I don't think then.

[B]

Lamello goes to Golden State and they kind of undo the Wiseman pick or.

[A]

He gets bought out. However they have to do it to make it easier. The reason I don't think it'll happen is I do think we're in a Kobe Durk scenario with this. Dirk was never leaving Dallas. There was no scenario and he didn't want to and he won his title.

[B]

Well, I was going to say like you're looking back on the end of the Kobe years as being disappointing, wasted, et cetera. But then you can't do that. I'm not saying you, but you can't do that. And then also say, well, how cool it is that he's a one team player. And same with Dirk. And you can't have both. Sometimes this is just how it is. And I think one team players are kind of rare and cool. I think it's cool that Devin Booker has publicly said, I want to be a one team guy. I think it's hard to have both.

[A]

It'd be funny if Tatum and Jalen both said that and the Celtics were.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Yeah, sounds great.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

No, I just, I hope they're both one team guys. I love those guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Conflicting reports about Tatum this week. I would like to say for the record, I still think he's playing this year and I feel really confident about that. Unless there is a setback, which I don't think there's been.

[B]

I hope there's not a setback and I hope, well, can they make the finals without him? Can they make the finals? You're closing the door on them making the finals.

[A]

I don't think they have enough. You saw last night, we're watching that Atlanta game. If their threes aren't going in and they're playing the right kind of team, literally 20 teams in the league could beat them.

[B]

I think the east is so bad that I can't slam the door on it. But A, their health has been perfect, which tends to regress at some point, and B, I do think their margin fair is like nothing. Like nothing.

[A]

You know. Who's going to tell us to answer this? The Celtics. Because if they keep Simons versus trading him Will be the answer if they try to trade Simons just for somebody who makes less money and it makes the team worse. We have our answer. Yeah, it's true, because Simons has been important to them. But I also, as I've said many times, if they could turn him into Malik Monk.

[B]

Why do you want Malik Monk? What is your Malik Monk thing?

[A]

Well, first of all, you're not allowed on the island.

[B]

I don't want to be on the island. I'm not even sure I turned my boat around. He's fine. Like, Malik Monk's fine.

[A]

26 years old or 27. He's either 26, 27. How old is 40% shooter every year? Well, he's making 18 million and Simons is making 27. And I still feel like he's a guy in big games that I trust. We saw it, and that guy's still sitting there. He's just on the worst, dumbest basketball franchise we have. That guy still exists.

[B]

Yeah, I agree.

[A]

By the way. That's somebody I would go for. The Lakers.

[B]

They had him. He rehabilitated himself.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Maybe he wouldn't want to go back, but I just think. I think that dude, he's going to go to a team. I'm telling you, he's going to go to a contender, and people be like, oh, shit, he's really good.

[B]

I totally forgot you got a de Kingsom. But I wonder if there's, like, a machine that you have to, like, step in.

[A]

Like a soapwood shower.

[B]

Yeah. A bunch of lasers hit you and have to get the kings out of your soul, and then you can play again.

[A]

Remember the movie? So with Beryl Streep, I never saw it. She got contaminated. It was like a nuclear reactor site, and they had to do the Soakwood shower. And it was like this, like, chemical shower you had to take. Maybe that's what has to happen.

[B]

Yeah, There you go.

[A]

Yeah. All right, Sacalo. See you on Amazon tonight.

[B]

Boom.

[A]

The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by fanduel. The interim lightweight title is officially up for grabs this Saturday. And if you're looking to get on the action, you can do it with America's number one sportsbook, FanDuel, taking your fight night experience to the next level, giving every single customer a profit boost token to use on any parlay this weekend. Moneyline round betting method of victory. Build your parlay however you want. I like a little parlay. BSD is fighting. He's fighting. Dan Hooker always enjoyed bsd. I want to throw him in a Parlay Volkanovsky's fighting Diego Lopez beat him a couple years ago or a year ago, I can't remember. But he's had some losses since then. He's in his mid-30s now. I like the revenge. Lopez is plus 118. Put him together with BSD, that's plus 182 and that is the one that I like. So there you go. That's fandom.com BS and you can opt into the profit boost and get ready for this weekend's matchups. You must be 21 President in select states or 18 in President D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration max wager amount. See [e-mail], gamprom call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chadconnecticut all right, Thursday afternoon, the K man, Kevin Wilds is here in the fanciest setup he's ever had. He's on the set of his show. Joe House is here as always on Thursdays. I am wearing my authentic Tony Simmons jersey that I bought in 1998. House new me back then cause we've known each other for almost 40 years. Drove to the Patriots pro shop because they drafted a second round receiver named Tony Simmons and I'd always wanted the Patriots to have a receiver named Simmons so I could have the Simmons on the back of the jersey and he turned out to be a bust. And this jersey's been in my attic for a while, but I'm bringing it back. Came in because the nobody believes in us. Pats are back. Nobody's picking us. Nobody thinks we're going to win. Belichick's getting snubbed from the Super Bowl. We're underdogs. Joe House thinks Sam Darnold's going to run amok. We're back baby. We're so we're so back. I'm wearing retro jerseys. I don't even know what year it is. Is it wilds 20? 26? Is it 1998? I don't even know.

[D]

I need to ask Wilds. I'm not sure this is a great idea. You pulled out a jersey. Nobody believed in Tony Simmons and with good reason. So you pull out that jersey for the nobody believes in this game.

[A]

Guess what jersey I wore a lot during the 2001 season? Tony Simmons right here. There Was some. Good luck in this jersey. Wild's your thoughts?

[D]

Good luck in.

[C]

Bill and House's relationship goes back so far that the concept of a personalized jersey that you can get delivered to your home in anchorage, Alaska in 22 hours. If you wanted a personalized jersey, you had to scout the newspapers of the NFL draft predictions and hope there was a coincidence of your last name lined up with your favorite team. And the fact that it worked for you is fantastic. It's so much easier now.

[A]

And when it happened, I had to drive an hour to Foxborough to buy it at the pro shop. Cause that was the only place I could get it specially made and then do it. And also I had no money.

[C]

Just love it.

[A]

But yeah, those were the days. Anyway, Wilds, why don't you stand by here while House disparages the New England Patriots and says why they don't have a chance.

[C]

Yeah, I'd love it.

[A]

Go ahead.

[C]

No good. Go ahead.

[A]

No, I know you don't think we're going to win any week. Go ahead.

[D]

I do want to call to mind amongst this group that we, we have done this. This is a reunion of Source Now Waltz and I haven't seen each other. You know, I admire from afar his, his daily television turn. It's wonderful. First things first, all of the best takes.

[A]

Me too. We even, we've even talked ourselves into liking Nick Wright. That's how much we love you.

[C]

He's great, Nick.

[A]

I'm in. Had a great podcast with him a couple months ago. I like. Yeah, it's great.

[D]

The only question nobody's ever asked Nick Wright is anybody ever asked him why he won't just get a haircut.

[A]

This is his look.

[C]

It looks cool. Yeah, looks of a look.

[A]

Yeah, it says look.

[D]

Is it?

[C]

Yeah, it says look. Okay, House, you can't have my haircut.

[D]

Fine.

[A]

House, you were compared a week ago to like you were in the backup band of an early 90s boys band without you wore on last week's podcast. That was an email I got. Well, that's great. Share that with me.

[D]

I have no regrets.

[A]

I'm a guy in my mid-50s wearing a game worn. Not even a game worn authentic Pat jersey. I'm not here to comment either.

[D]

It's not a. I mean, so what.

[A]

Did we do in Indianapolis? We did half baked. Half baked.

[D]

We did. We did. But the true highlight of that one of the highlights. There were many highlights because Wilds came in and he was firing as, as is always the case. But you chose during that show to Share with Wilds and I how proud you were that you possessed a Starbucks card, like the Starbucks reward card. You remember this Wilds.

[A]

This was like a half hour. We talked about this for a half hour. That every time I got a Starbucks, I was one step closer to a free iced coffee. And you guys were dumbfounded by this.

[C]

No, it wasn't a loyalty card, Bill.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

You were just getting the card just to carry the card because you liked giving a gift to yourself. There was no loyalty component.

[A]

I did that as well. Yeah, you're right. I forgot about that.

[C]

Yeah, I forgot about that.

[A]

Yeah, I had like a.

[C]

Yeah, Jonathan Kraft was on that podcast, too. Shout out to the Patriots.

[A]

That's true. That's right. And by the way, and this is one of the topics I had, that was the last time I went to a Patriots Super Bowl. I sat with Jamie Horowitz, AKA Suit. We were supposed to get our revenge to the Super Bowl. The Giants helmet catch game. The Giants, listen, I'm fine with losing the helmet catch game. The second Giants team never should have beaten that past team in a million years, didn't even play well and we somehow lost anyway. And it was like leaving your own murder scene for 45 minutes. The problem with the super bowl, if you go and your team loses, you also can't get out and you're just trapped when half the fans are happy for the other team. I was just recognizable enough that I was getting a lot of, hey, Simmons, how'd that one work out? I wanted to fight everybody and I was just like, I'm never going again. And I haven't. I've been to Super Bowls, just not at the pat. So people are asking me, hey, you going down? When are you going to get there? I'm like, I'm not going. I'm going to be watching on my couch. I'm going to have my son with me and my dog and I'll do a podcast after. But I don't want to go to the game because I'm really scarred from the two Giants games. Do you think this is fair, Wilds?

[C]

We were favored in both of those Giants games.

[A]

Yeah, well, heavily.

[C]

The letdown was even harder. Yeah, but now that we're four and a half point underdogs, we're supposed to lose. Now, the letdown would still hurt, but the world thinks we're going to lose. I think it's worth the risk to go because the high is going to be extra high this year. I'll fire back a question to you bill out of our six championship rings.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Where would this one rank if we pull it off?

[A]

Wilds and I say we and are like we're on the team House. Just in case. In case you're wondering. Of course.

[D]

Of course you do.

[A]

Nothing will ever be 2001. And I would rank the Deflategate Super bowl number two. For me.

[C]

That's fair.

[A]

The just all the shit Brady took that week and then being able to beat Seattle and come back and also like, honestly, there was a little bit of some curse stuff lingering that Spygate had put a curse on the Patriots and that's why we'd had bad luck and we weren't going to win again. So that one, I'd have number two. This. This might be three if they did this.

[D]

Really it has to be high up there.

[A]

We were dead. We were like. We were the freaking Browns. It was over. We were the jets. We were the Raiders. Like there was no hope. There was nothing. You don't agree with us, Wilds?

[C]

No, I agree. It might be two for me.

[A]

Wow. Yeah. So you have o one first and.

[C]

There'S Coleman has to first 16. Just the game against the foul 28 three.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's on its own island. But I can also make an argument because I was an adult for all of these, but I wasn't a father or like a father, you know that this is the first one that my kids are super into the Patriots. This has a opportunity to be won.

[A]

I think that's fair. I completely agree.

[D]

It's also Drake Mays first.

[A]

Potentially could be Drake Mace first.

[C]

The way you're talking House. I love that.

[A]

As if we didn't have enough obstacles first. Wow. If we didn't have enough obstacles now it's like Drake May's shoulder limited in practice today. Updates. And we have Dr. David Chow breaking down in slow motion. Drake May hit in the turf. And all these things I was not expecting on Sunday night. I don't like any of it.

[C]

Question. Little bit of gamesmanship.

[A]

I certainly felt that way with the Stafford back stuff before the year that threw off House and I when we wanted to bet on the Rams to right House. We just got immediately scared off with the old guy with the bad back thing. Yeah.

[D]

Except I think they were telling the truth. I don't think it was gamesmanship for the Rams. I think they were genuinely concerned about Stafford's back. They had nothing to gain going into week one. Like, oh, we're going to rope a dope. Our week one opponent, Darnold are We.

[A]

Sure there's something wrong with this oblique?

[D]

See that one? I like. I like this. This is conspiracy Bill territory.

[A]

It looks fine. Winging the ball around, take through for 340 yards. I never know what to play. We found out Josh Allen had a broken foot today. Like, they're supposed to release this stuff.

[C]

Josh Allen's broken foot. His foot hurt the entire for weeks, and all of a sudden he's on crutches in a walking boot.

[A]

Right. But they're supposed to report this stuff. That's the rules.

[D]

He ran for 66 yards against the Broncos.

[A]

Well, he said I would still be able to if. If push came to shove, I could play. Right now. I've just played through whatever. It's kind of exactly the opposite of certain NBA players. Yeah, he's a hero.

[C]

Love that guy.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I don't. I don't feel like I'm trying to think who's the NBA player who would say the opposite of that? House.

[D]

Zion Williamson.

[A]

Zion Williamson. Yeah. All right. So the kids thing. You're buying that house that when you can share it with your kids when they become fans. Because I remember Ben and I watched the 28 to 3 whole family watched the comeback. And that made a little extra special that I had the next generation there.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Yeah, for sure. Absolutely.

[A]

See, House, you're never going to know because you're the W. Nothing with the Wizards will ever happen. With the Washington football team.

[D]

Was in the national. The NFC championship game last year.

[A]

Did your son care, though?

[C]

Then you fired everybody.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You fired everybody.

[D]

Well, everything went weird. It was all weird this season. Fired everybody, by the way. That can happen.

[A]

So why, as a longtime take person, longtime follower, I've been surprised. Not only is everybody picking the Seahawks, it feels like, but now people. Now it's becoming like Evel Knievel. Now I can jump this canyon with the picks. I think Stephen A. Said he thought they were going to lose 60 to nothing was the thing said this week they might lose 60 to nothing, but we're doing that.

[D]

Tone it down today, Kim. He walked it all the way back today.

[A]

Cam Newton was comparing to Trent Doher. Drake May. I don't know what Drake may idolize. Why is he doing this? It's like is here.

[C]

Okay. I want to. I want to have a solution to this Cam stuff.

[A]

Great.

[C]

Because I think it literally personally hurts Drake May's feelings. It's his childhood hero. He went to the Super Bowl. He's got Panther stuff. It also hurts my feelings as a guy who loved Cam and appreciated everything he did in that Covid year. He moved. He was like by himself. He was in a new system. And he made that post Brady era interesting. Pre Mac Jones. So here's what I want to say.

[A]

Is really nice of really nice for you to even call it interesting. It was interesting.

[C]

We were close. We had a few fumbles.

[A]

Yeah. But it was good.

[C]

We didn't immediately stink.

[A]

I enjoyed it.

[C]

Okay, here's my take on Cam and I hope this gets to Cam. Cam, if we win the super bowl and if Drake may plays well in the super bowl, you had a part that. Josh McDaniels made all of his bones in the Super Bowls with Tom Brady who could not move mobily. God bless Tom Brady, but he's not a running quarterback.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

The one year Josh worked with Cam. 592 yards, 12 touchdowns, 55 first downs. This first year with Drake and Josh, 450 yards, four touchdowns, 38 first downs to the point where the bootleg against the Broncos. I started to. I'm like, did Josh get that from Cam? Josh was not a guy who designed running quarter scrambles or sneaks or anything. He never did that with Brady. That's you, Cam. You are responsible for Drake's greatness. Not just when he was a kid, but the fact that you put this into the playbook for the Patriots.

[A]

Right. You're winning.

[C]

We win. You win. Cam Newton.

[A]

Yeah. He gets the double parade.

[C]

We watch you at the parade.

[A]

Right. House, what do you think of this?

[D]

I can't quarterback for the Raiders when McDaniels was the head head coach.

[A]

I mean, which one?

[D]

He had a.

[A]

He had a few of them.

[C]

I think I did Carr feel like.

[D]

He might, he might have it undercut some of of what we're talking about here.

[A]

Yeah. The thing with the thing, I just don't get it. I get why people have to do these stances and do whatever. But Drake may was really good this year. You can't compare him to these quarterbacks that kind of were along for the ride. I also the weather thing, I. This is another thing that I've been arguing with people about. I don't know if you feel like you're Jon Snow defending the wall here with the Patriots, but it's fine if you think they're going to lose the game. I get it. Seattle's really good, but they haven't played a normal weather game in like a month. And Stafford was in Chicago that game that went into overtime that they almost lost and they won 20 to 17. They scored 17 points in four quarters and then got a field goal in OT. They didn't look like the Rams at all. Puka, I think, had 55 yards. They didn't really have any explosive plays and Stafford looked creaky for most of the game. And afterwards everyone was like, man, really tough weather game. The weather really affected both teams. This has been the entire Patriots playoff run. They haven't played a normal game yet. And even if San Francisco is like 55 degrees and not raining, it's the biggest win the Pats have had weather wise in over a month. So I don't know. Does that sound like an excuse to you, House?

[D]

Yeah. The weather for the Chargers and the Texans games was like regular New England weather.

[A]

No Texans game was. Z. Was freezing. Was freezing.

[C]

Texans game was cold and rainy New England.

[D]

But that's what happens up there.

[A]

It sucks.

[D]

We're saying that the, those, all those players because of how, how new they are and the system, none of them are acclimated to what New England weather.

[B]

That's.

[D]

It doesn't.

[C]

No, it's just when you compare Stafford and Darnold's performance with a guy who's playing in a blizzard.

[A]

Yeah. And look, Drake missed a lot of throws and I don't know what was going on with his shoulder. I thought it was the worst throwing game he's had since the Vegas game. But he made some stuff happen with his legs. He put together a 10 minute drive that effectively gave them the lead for good. And I just don't think, I didn't think he was good by his standards. But we've seen a lot of quarterbacks kind of be up and down like that. The problem is the next game. Darnold and Stafford were both awesome, you know, and then you watch that first game, then you watch the second game, you're like, oh my God. There's also the Sam Darnold piece that I think people have just slept on. Right. The Patriots, I would say, is it fair to say kind of ended his jets career. That was the tipping point. Right. Is that fair?

[C]

It's a, the, the IC Ghost game unrecoverable, probably hurt his career more than was fair. More than I think the NFL Films team realized when they just had a random sound bite. You know, they're not trying to hurt people's careers. But that one just. It was. So he was actually penalized, Bill, for being creative, for being thoughtful about his circumstance.

[A]

But he's.

[C]

Yeah. Just because he was a good writer.

[A]

So the sports movie version of this is well, now he gets to exercise the ghosts and play the Patriots again. His career's come full circle.

[C]

That is a good story.

[A]

The Patriot fan side of me is like, that's fucking Sam Darnold. We're still paying interest on that guy from when we owned him a couple years ago. And I'm trying to talk about something that house. What's your case for Seattle just easily winning this game and covering? Cause I feel like you're leaning that way.

[D]

I don't think anything's going to be easy. The cases, they have the number one by DVOA past defense and they will put pressure on Drake May and the pressure that they're able to put on him, they're super fast in the middle. They'll take the middle of the field away. It's not like the Patriots possess absolute burners on, on the outside. So the case would be that they put May under so much pressure. It's the version of what we saw with the Texans. Except for the Seattle will not be giving New England the ball on the 30 yard line five consecutive possessions.

[A]

Right.

[D]

So that's the case.

[A]

All right. Seattle's not going to be home neutral field. I think both teams are really good. I think the Pats are better than people realize. And I think Seattle is cruising on the fumes of those first two games. Especially. Like I go back to week 18, I was sending this to Mina. Mina and I, we're getting along. It's, you know, it's, it's, it's a little bit of a tap dance, but it's fine. But I was saying, like week 18, Seattle was favored by one and a half at home against the Niners. Right. In a must win game for the 1 seed. They beat San Francisco. They beat them again. Then they, they squeezed by the Rams and now they're being treated like a different team by the oddsmakers. I personally think this line should be two and a half. I don't think it should be four and a half. I think it should be two and a half. And it seems like there's an extra two points in here because there's some Seattle steam. You know what I mean? Wilds, they have some steam.

[C]

They're the team. We pull the graphic. We pulled a graphic today. The last seven teams that were favored by four or more, two and seven outright and none of them covered.

[A]

Yeah, I, I'm trying not to get too excited about it, but I really do feel like we're back. I mean when you go back to 1773, guys who was the first place that really stood up to the British, Boston, 1775. Revolutionary War. Watch the Ken Burns documentary who really put their foot down, kicked the British the fuck out Boston and ever since then go all the way through. All the nobody believes in us stuff. You go to Jem in the town, you can go all the way through. It's the DNA. But the titles kind of shifted it where Boston won a lot and then you lose that. But now being the underdog, the disparaged underdog, I feel like the underdog.

[C]

Can I say something and ask what we know? I think you're going to have a visceral reaction to this.

[A]

Yeah. Let's hear.

[C]

As a fan of Sporthouse.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Kind of rooting for Sam Darnold as I disembodied my Patriots fan.

[A]

Removing the Pats fan. Yeah.

[D]

It's a one.

[C]

I'm not against him.

[D]

Well, no, I understand. It's a one of a kind story. We really don't have anybody we can point to in our NFL experience that has a career like this. Not only is do we have the redemption arc. That was the Viking season last year. I mean he really transformed that Vikings organization. Put them on the precipice of being like, you know, a potential run for them. Their defense is so good and they had all those skill players. But, you know, he went and replicated that with a whole nother team, a whole nother situation, a brand new offensive coordinator and skill players that everybody at the beginning of the season like they were question marks because, you know, they kicked out DK Metcalf, they let the other receiver go and you know, it was. Yeah, lock it. Right. But we, we came in with a bunch of question marks with Seattle team and all he did was kick ass and take names all season. Kevin Wilds.

[A]

Well, the other thing is I forgot this and this is a pretty unusual from a Super bowl odds standpoint because everybody's so good at doing odds now, you don't really get a lot of future value. Right. And there is ironically Fox Sports said this tweet Top 10 longest preseason odds to win the Super bowl since 1977. The 99 Rams were famously 150 to 1. The 01 Patriots were 60 to 1 and the 81 Niners were 50 to 1. Right. You have the Patriots and the Patriots were 80 to 1. Before the season, the Seahawks were 60 to 1. Either outcome would be the second biggest future odd that we've had since 1977. Which that house that's not supposed to happen anymore. We do these over unders and I remember I love Seattle but their over under was eight and a half. I don't. I wouldn't have picked them to win the Super Bowl. I wouldn't have picked the Patriots either. It was another team I liked but this is pretty crazy. But it goes back to a pretty nutty season. Do you think the Belichick stuff is good for the Patriots or it's a non factor?

[C]

I don't think it's a major factor. I don't think it's a minor factor. I don't think it's a little factor House. But the Patriots legacies in the building of being discredited, doubted and disrespected. Not nothing.

[D]

I'm just so happy. I'm just so glad it happened this week because if it happened next week as the lead into the game, like people would be losing their minds. Thank God we're going to dispense with this and the stupid hall of Fame is going to change the rules.

[C]

Right?

[D]

Isn't that the way we're leaning now? The dummies will, will, will fix it because it's like, well, we made up the stupid rule that, that led to this result. They certainly can make up can fix the stupid rule and, and, and just usher the man in, for God's sake.

[A]

I mean the Football hall of Fame especially. As you know, I hate all hall of fames and in 2009 wrote an entire book devoted to blowing up the basketball hall of Fame and starting over, making a pyramid. All of these hall of Fames have been screwed up. I always.

[C]

The football. Did you want to actually make a real pyramid? Was that the.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was that the five levels you didn't have architectural draw?

[A]

Yeah, it was a pyramid and the top level was the Pantheon. Yeah.

[D]

You can't see me.

[A]

Where do you think Nick Wright got got Mahomes Mountain from the hall of Fame pyramid. Say, you could tell him I said it.

[C]

Doesn't it kind of look like a pyramid now?

[A]

What do you mean the hall of Fame? Well, the, the concept of the pyramid building I. The concept was you go the hall of Fame and as you go up each level and this original person who had this idea was my buddy Gus's dad, Wally Ramsey, one of my great English teachers of all time was the concept is you go up and you go up to another floor and now the players are getting better and then by the time you get to the top floor, it's like the best of the best. And that's the whole concept. It's really Good. It's really good.

[D]

Not a half baked idea. A fully baked idea.

[A]

No, that was a great one. So. And then the basement had all the people that couldn't make it, but all had their little stories, like the people, the Comets, the drug guys, all that stuff. Anyway, the Pro Football hall of Fame guys, I always felt like they were the most annoying because it was like 50 people and they carried themselves like a fucking sorority. Like a fraternity at Harvard where it's like when in Social Network where Mark Zuckerberg and his roommate are trying to get into that fraternity. It's like, oh, we made the second round in these douchebags and like put a robe on. We all hate all that stuff, right? That's basically the NFL hall of Fame, how they do it. It's 50 guys. You're not allowed to talk. We argue about it in the room. It's get the fuck out of here.

[C]

Whatever.

[A]

Your process has led to the best coach in the history of the league not making the hall of Fame the first thing. And I never get mad about this. Actually made me mad. Like at some point there should be a shit detective.

[C]

I got part at a visceral level.

[A]

Feels like everyone got mad. It made Belichick a sympathetic figure, which was like impossible. What were the odds of that? That was 80 to 1. Like the fucking Patriots house.

[C]

It was probably a win for him in the end.

[D]

Oh, an amazing win. Are you kidding? An 11 out of 10. Speaking of redemption arcs, we're all going to go into this, this coming summer and he. He has a free out yet to preserve his. His legacy. Is he going to go back to stupid North Carolina and try and do that again? Is he really going to go do that?

[A]

The team's going to be great. I'm buying stock.

[D]

It doesn't make any sense. Especially with. With the gift that he's just been given. He's just been giving an. An immense, unexpected windfall lottery ticket here with this. With this outrageous hall of Fame nonsense. Just ride on off into the sunset.

[A]

With this wilds, would you? If Buffalo out of nowhere announced we've hired our new coach and it's Bill Belichick, how would your feelings have been? Walk me through your first 30 seconds of that.

[C]

First thought. Total fear.

[A]

That's exactly what my first thought would have been as well. I would've been like, fuck.

[C]

Second thought, bring it on. Third thought, a practical. Who are the assistants? Who's the O.C.

[A]

Right?

[C]

And I think he's lost his fat. Like, without Josh or, you know, the whole Matt, Patricia is OC thing. I feel a little bit calm.

[A]

So you would eventually calm down from it. Okay, let me ask you, what would your thoughts have been, House?

[D]

I want to ask you guys this. There are still two teams that need quarterbacks. I mean, need a head coach. What if Tom Brady hires Belichick to be the head coach of the Raiders.

[A]

After all of this, it seems like that they're getting Clint Kubiak. I think that's.

[D]

That is what makes a ton of sense. By the way. He's. He's a total badass. But Arizona. Arizona is so irrelevant and has. Has done nothing but cover itself with the opposite of glory with the way it's conducted its affairs. Why not one last run for the old man in the year that he was, you know, deservedly. Exactly. Exactly. One more. One more time.

[A]

So I was thinking the Browns and then they hired Todd Monkin and you're like, that's the team that definitely should have hired Belichick. Like, really? You're gonna hire that guy? They didn't like, they. They had Jim Schwartz, who's I think worked with Belichick in the past. But at that. If I'm hiring Todd Monkin, I'm just hiring Belichick instead and let him figure out Shadur Sanders and just he comes back to Cleveland.

[C]

Like, Cleveland Browns starter jacket.

[D]

That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good.

[A]

There's a lot to like, we have unfinished business here. They took the team away.

[D]

Yeah, that's right. It's pretty good.

[A]

But I think he's.

[C]

I kind of like that, too.

[A]

I think he's smart enough to know I have to go where the quarterback is. Like, that's basically what Brable did. Brable was in all the mix for these jobs last year, and he was like, I.

[D]

That only makes sense if it. If it really matters. Like, he's not going to go in and immediately transform a situation. Bill Belichick, at this point.

[A]

No, I'm saying if you're him, you want a quarterback. I'm just. And I would feel that way if it was me and I was an NFL coach. Like, I'm not going anywhere that doesn't have a quarterback who's my quarterback. It's like, keep your fingers crossed.

[C]

Like the signetti to the Raiders. I know he's kind of poured cold water on it, but I love that idea of the coach. College combo. A little Jamar chase, Joe Burrow action.

[D]

Be really sexy.

[A]

Let's take a break, and then we're going to do half baked ideas with Wilds. Unless there's any more 98 Patriot stuff you guys want to do. Are we done wanting to talk about the team? Nothing? Okay. All right, we'll take a break. Hey, there's a massive fight coming this Saturday. Interim lightweight title on the line. FanDuel wants to make sure you're all locked in. They're hooking up everybody with 30% profit boost for fight night parlays and SGPs. The perfect way to boost your winnings. My favorite BSD fighting Dan Hooker. I'm in. Let's throw him minus 340 moneyline with Diego Lopez to get his revenge against Volkanovski. That's +118. You put those two together +182 and you can add the little profit boost to that and you're ready to roll. While you watch Saturday night, go ahead and place your bets on FanDuel sportsbook. FanDuel play your game. This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. Like an expert coach, TaxAct offers step by step guidance and guaranteed accuracy when filing taxes. Get tips along the way. Add expert assist to talk to tax experts and let our experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details. This episode is brought to you by 20th Century Studios. Send help from the twisted mind of Sam Raimi, director of the Evil Dead and Drag Me to hell starring Rachel McAdams and Dylan O'. Brien. I like both of them. Comes a new film that begs the question, what would you do if you were stuck on an island with your terrible boss in paradise? HR can't hear you screaming. Now playing only in theaters and 3D.

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[A]

All right, so ever since I've had a podcast which dates back to 2007 at the Worldwide Leader ESPN. Kevin Wiles would come on and do half baked ideas. I did one on Dave Chang's show. I went on Dave Chang's show and gave him my idea for a restaurant that only accepts credit card roulette and forces the customers to play credit card roulette with each other. And then they videotape everything and they cut it into social video to promote the restaurant. That might have been a fully baked idea. I don't even know if that was a half baked idea, but I was really proud of that.

[C]

It was almost too good.

[A]

It was too good. I probably should have figured out how to screw that up somehow. Anyway, Wilds, usually you have like two big ones and two smaller ones. So what do you got?

[C]

All right, so I'll start with a big one and we'll do four total. And since House is here and I'll piggyback off of your restaurant idea. Went out to dinner. I said, ooh, let's get a seafood tower. Love the seafood tower. You got your oysters, clams, you got your shrimp. It's great. But I'm always thinking about the food.

[A]

You know, Can I just tell you? Nobody loves the seafood tower more than Joe House, like, probably on the planet.

[D]

This is an amazing start, Wiles.

[C]

Perfect. The guy I'm with says, ah, you know, I don't want the little clams, which are the junior varsity kids table of the seafood tower. They're kind of gross. They're like, eh. He says, let's just get this one. It's called the tableau. I should have had red alarms going off in my mind. The waiter brings over a bowl of seafood. It was a disaster. It had no altitude house. So I'm thinking, oh, it's very obvious. I always thought the shrimp and the lobster tail was the star of the show. It's not. It's obviously the height, and I know that's right in front of me, but I needed to be punched in the face with it. Then I'm thinking, you know what? I need more towers in my life, period. Just off the top of your head, House, I'm going to say a waffle tower.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Is there a breakfast bar? No. There's our waffle tower over there. Oh, you want a Cobb salad? Do you want it in a bowl? Do you want it in a tower? We got lettuce, we got your bacon here, we got your blue cheese. And as it goes up and up, however tall we got the bacon bits up top. Anything can have a tower option.

[D]

It works so well. It's an Incredible concept. Let's. This is the second restaurant. We're opening two new restaurants. This is the group right here. We have the credit card roulette, and we'll have to come up with a clever name for it. But the name of the restaurant is the Tower. And everything you order. Yeah. And. And too many Towers. Burger tower is immediately the number one for me. Right. You can have, you know, like, regular American cheeseburgers at the bottom, and you climbing all the way up to your most decadent, however funky, you know, whatever you want to have on it. You want to have, you know, foie gras, and your fanciest cheese is on the top burger. Could be a lobster burger. This is. It's an incredible conc.

[C]

Well, could you have also studied the tape on this, though, Bill? And I'm like, I got to self scout. Am I underplaying the value of crushed ice and tiny things of Tabasco? It's on the board.

[A]

Well, part of my head immediately went to. Could the Tower also only accept credit card roulette? You just merge the two ideas. It's a one plus one equals three. I mean, you could obviously do that. So I was trying to think with Towers. So, like, sometimes when you'll do. I don't know, when you're at somebody's house and they have. They're making cheeseburgers, and then they have the extra plate that has, like, lettuce, tomato, and onions, and then there's like, another plate with the cheeses. The cheeseburger tower would be kind of be perfect for this, right? Cause you would have the burgers at the bottom, and then it would go up, and then the top, as House said, would have all the cool extra things. Why. Why is it seafood is the one that works the best with this house? Like, could you. Could you do, like, a pasta tower?

[D]

The. The ice definitely plays a role because it's visually stimulating.

[A]

It.

[D]

It There. The temperature change when it comes to the table. It changes the gravity of the table. And it's so visually appealing. And it's so interesting, the variance you get between what a shrimp looks like, what an oyster looks like. Even the clams. The clams have. Oh, is this a clam or is it an oyster? Well, it's a little smaller. Okay, I got it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, some folks will take a tiny bit of. Do a tiny hamachi and kind of like, you know, put some sliced stuff on a tiny plate and slide it. Like, there's all kinds of room for. For creativity with this.

[A]

The sushi tower. That's a great one. Sushi Tower is a great one because you could have different levels.

[C]

Yeah, I've worked at a few restaurants. I've never worked at a place that sold or offered Seafood Towers. But if you get a Diet Coke, I feel like it's out of bounds to ask, hey, I know you've got Seafood Towers on the menu. Can I have the crushed ice from the Tower in my Diet Coke? I think I would be shut down. I was like, no, that ice is for the tower exclusively. We can't start handing out this ice all over the place. Then the tower's not special. They got two different things. Ice. They got two ice machines back there.

[A]

This reminds me, we built this little bar in the back of my house that had an ice cube machine that has the big ass cubes. Not just a crushed ice but like those big fat ones. Those are spectacular. Love those you say overrated. I present to you.

[C]

They're like bocce ball ice.

[A]

No, they're just like big ass ice cubes.

[D]

Square cubes.

[A]

The joy of people's faces. When they're offered a big cube. You can't really put a price on it. Including Joe House, I have my hands on cube people. Like, although sometimes it'll be like the two big cube be like, look at these two big cubes in my glass. I feel like I have something to confess.

[C]

I like to chomp on the ice.

[A]

Oh no.

[D]

I have something to confess for Christmas this year. My wife, she says it's impossible to shop for. You give me some things. So I gave her three or four things. One of the things that I asked for my wife for Christmas this year was square ice cubes. Because there is. You can make them and Bill has a machine that makes them. There used to be in Washington D.C. i don't know if the place still exists. Kind of curated ice like a place where you could go to buy because there's a machine that will make the perfect ice. Obviously I'm going to get a lot of feedback from people saying you just pour some water into a tray and the shape of that giant ice cube.

[A]

But no, no, I don't want to do work.

[D]

So she ordered ice that was delivered to my house that was made by this machine in, in the perfect shape that I like and I can put four of those cubes in my giant 30 ounce water and that's what I get on board.

[A]

Get on board with the ice wilds, Paul.

[C]

And you're getting. I didn't realize that that you're ordering the Ice.

[D]

I know. Yeah.

[C]

Packaging and the Styrofoam alone.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Well, it's good for the environment is what they tell us.

[D]

I thought that she would go to the local place and. And she did not go to the local place. And it may not even exist any longer. Instead, she did order it and it was shipped here. The shipping costs greatly exceeded the cost of the ice.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know. I can't co sign that one.

[D]

I'm not recommending that.

[A]

I have.

[C]

I have another one.

[D]

Go.

[C]

It's similar restaurant themed. You know those Cosmo places. I think it's called Cosmo. Maybe it's. It's like an IMAX for sporting events.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

There's one in la.

[C]

It might not be called Cosmo.

[A]

Yeah, there's one in la and people go. And it's like the giant screen. They feel like they're at the game.

[C]

Yeah. And you're. It's like you're there. Right. It's cool. So combine that with a video I saw of a Packers fan who was watching his game outside in his packers jersey through the window. And his wife was like, what are you doing? He's like, if they're cold, I want to be cold. I'm like, this guy knows what it's about. And me and Billy went to the Texans game because part of it's. We wanted to be miserable.

[A]

Right.

[C]

With the players. Like, we were in it. We're all one. So a bar. If you can't be like the packers guy in Green Bay. But like for LA fans of the Patriots. Oh, man. It's a disaster in Denver or it's terrible in Foxborough. Coming in this place. Get out your old north face. It's freezing. It's raining in here. It's a disaster.

[A]

A bar that controls the elements, but.

[C]

The elements are of your favorite home team. And you can be different places. The Patriots are playing in Miami. It's hot as hell down here. My gosh darn it.

[D]

Right?

[A]

It's like 98 degrees in the bar.

[C]

Yeah, it's a great. We want to go see the Bears game. Get your jacket.

[D]

Sounds like it's more expensive than shipping in ice. How can you get it cold enough? How do you make it as cold.

[C]

As Chicago plays hockey? It gets cold in those places.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

And make pockets of it hot.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I think it's one of those ideas that it would take a while to build the restaurant and get all the elements right. I think there would be a lot of PR when It launched and I think people would go for about three weeks and then.

[D]

Wow. Does it have a name?

[A]

Oh, in the elements.

[D]

Yeah, Elements. Something elemental. Elements.

[A]

The elements. I'm going over the elements.

[D]

It's pretty good.

[A]

He's. He didn't see.

[C]

It's getting cold in here.

[A]

What's your next one?

[C]

I got. This is viewer submitted. Micah Adams, we used to work with.

[A]

I remember Mike Adams sent me. Big research guy. Yeah.

[C]

Good guy sent me a full paragraph for a half baked idea. And I didn't ask him if I could use this, but I assumed he would be cool with it. I'll just read it verbatim.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You're gonna be in immediately. NBA Royal Rumble. It's either one on one or knockout. But not just current players. Bring out retired guys, college players, whatever you want. The fans have no clue who comes out next. 30 names a king of the hill survivor. But stealing the idea of the royal rumber where dudes just sprint out of the tunnel. There's a belt and everything. Tell me that's not the best all Star Saturday event. That's a free half baked idea. Thumbs up. Crushed it.

[A]

So, all right, so two guys are out there and what do they play to? Like three.

[D]

Play to one?

[C]

I think so.

[A]

Play a one.

[D]

Play to one.

[A]

So the guy who comes out. No, it's like the guy who comes out has the ball.

[C]

You play tennis king of the court. You have to get. The person who stays on gets one, but the person entering needs to score two.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Because by the time you're, you know. So it gives you an advantage if you've played 10 games.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I'm so glad you said tennis king of the court and not pickleball king of the court because I just want to. End of the podcast. If you said pickleball, I'm glad you used a sport where we use athleticism.

[D]

Unbelievable. The.

[A]

The. All right, so two guys come out. It's Anthony Edwards and Zion. Anthony Edwards wins. He's the king of the court. Now. Con Canippo runs out and he's got to score two baskets before. But if Edward scores one basket, he stays on. Con Canymple has to leave. He's got to score two times in a row.

[C]

Yeah. Guess who else come then. Guess who comes out next? Hakeem Olajuwon. Yes.

[D]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's Angel. Reese's music. What is she doing here? She's number five. Why not? My God.

[D]

Let her play. Dennis Rodgers.

[C]

Christian Laettner.

[A]

Christian Laettner.

[D]

That's That's a pretty good one.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

And the music is so good. Oh, you just hear, like the Bulls music. What's going on?

[D]

Steve Kerr, like, what the heck?

[C]

Steve Kerr. I thought we're getting Jordan.

[D]

They play. That's right. They play the famous Bulls music. And Steve Kerr comes out, comes out.

[A]

And then number 30 is LeBron. And everyone gets mad that they rigged it. Of course he's number 30. Of course, they just wanted LeBron to win. And then we talk conspiracies. This all sounds great.

[D]

You don't know.

[C]

Guys are injured and you, you have all like, oh, is Kyrie going to be available for All Star? Oh, here he comes.

[A]

Can I tweak this a tiny bit? All due respect to Mike Adams, it's a two on two. So it's a tag team Royal Rumble, basically. So you'd have 30 names. I guess four into 30 doesn't work. Maybe it's 28 and eight. Maybe it's 32. It's eight teams.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And you have, like, it goes a little longer. So it basically, like, if you score, if you get to five, you stay are ones. And how are we doing with ones and twos on this, though, House?

[D]

Well, do you choose your teammate? Is my first question.

[A]

No, because you want the surprise of the Rumble. That's the best thing with the Rumble.

[D]

Okay, good, good, good.

[A]

But. But if you played to 11 with twos and threes, then you won too many basketball. So you'd have to play the seven or five.

[C]

But then I need people coming in and out. Bill.

[D]

Yeah. One's you play. One entrance is one point or two points.

[A]

All right, so it's singles.

[D]

Keep it, Keep it.

[A]

I really like it.

[D]

It's phenomenal.

[C]

Here's the other thing. It's a timer, like the Royal Rumble. If you guys are playing hard defense or people miss, tough luck. Here comes Kevin Durant. Oh, my God.

[A]

Why?

[C]

There's three guys on the court now. Durant. Boom, putbacks.

[D]

Everybody's gone except for Durant.

[A]

The best part would be like, he's number 27. Who's it's going to be? My God, it's Anthony Davis. He's running. Oh, he pulled a calf. He's not gonna be able to play. The world moves fast. Your workday even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint and other Microsoft 365 apps you use, helping you quickly write, analyze, create, and summarize so you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn [e-mail] M365 copilot this is pro.

[D]

Linebacker TJ Watt and I'm back with YPB by Abercrombie for another activewear drop.

[A]

My second co design collection has new.

[D]

Shorts and tanks that keep up with all my in season workouts. And their new Restore collection is a game changer off the field too, because even pro athletes like me need rest days. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores because your personal.

[A]

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[C]

All right, hold on, I got to go back through it. Whatever I got here. This is a dumb one, but I already got this one shot down by Greg Jennings. But this is a good idea. I don't care. There was a point where Drake May was in shotgun to buy him some time because our offensive line was a little bit porous and I also thought Justin Herbert could have done this. Okay, you guys need to take a deeper shotgun snap to buy some time. Combine that with Caleb who ran back 26 yards from the line of scrimmage to make a large, largely normal play. Yeah, made me think the pocket needs to be deeper. Our center is out, A long snapper is in. I'm taking the snap 15 yards back. I buy myself two extra seconds. I can look around. It's a revolutionary idea. I don't know if the league is ready to hear about this, but once I saw Caleb run 26 yards back and he needed 4 yards, he's like, this is the best way for me to get four yards. I want to go back 26 yards. But if he had a long snapper, he would just have it there, chilling.

[A]

So the problem would be the snap would have to be pretty on target for like 16 yards.

[D]

But every time a long snapper snaps to a punter, it has to be on target. Like, it's not often the case that the punter is like running all over the world, you know, the punters have to jump, they have to move in response to the ball. But most of the NFL quarterbacks can move in response to the ball. They can see it coming. There's enough time to adjust.

[A]

I have a small half baked idea. I was thinking about icing the kicker. When teams ice the kicker at home before a big field goal, right? Call timeout. Give the guy two minutes, two and a half minutes to think about it. I was thinking about this during. For some reason, my wife and I were watching Bohemian Rhapsody, the Queen movie, and was thinking about We Are the Champions was such a brilliant song by them. And I don't think it was the intention of the song when they made it. I think they wanted a big arena song, but I don't think they realized it would be played in sports for the rest of their life. Like, it's perfect. And I think we've even talked in the past about how we don't create enough songs that first sports moments. There should be an icing the kicker song. Some band should create it and it should be ominous and dark and it should fuck the kicker up. It's almost like David Fincher a song. He would have put in seven in the last 30 minutes and it's just blaring in the thing and the whole crowd is chanting, your career will never be the same. And just like singing these lyrics that are just like infecting the guy's head right before he kicks it. Really dark, almost like creep. Radiohead, right? You hear creep and it's like, man, that's a pretty dark song. What's the Ice and the kicker? Dark song that would fuck with the guy.

[C]

Can I tweak this house and please you?

[D]

Please, let's tweak I'm listening, I'm listening.

[C]

Everyone's trying to figure out how to use AI and there's a lot of data, right? Oh, run this data through the AI, but you also have AI taking these, you know, deep fakes. Oh, it's time.

[A]

We, we have deep fake video in the video screen.

[D]

Oh, no, don't hit him.

[C]

Missing it.

[D]

Don't.

[C]

And the crowd celebrating and he's sad.

[D]

That's a relief.

[C]

Deep fakes of his teammates being like, oh, no. And then privately saying, like, I never believed in him on the bus home.

[A]

Yeah, I love this.

[C]

His wife's like, I, I, we gotta sell the house.

[D]

I'm genuinely relieved because it's like a.

[C]

For sale sign in front of the house.

[D]

Simmons was, was pushing us in a dark direction. And then you went, you said AI and deep fake. And then I started thinking of like really dark things that you could put on a screen, mess with somebody. Like, the parents are hostages. Look, your parents, your parents are hostages right now. Not that dark.

[C]

It's an ethical AI.

[D]

Ethical AI. Very good. Yes. Great job.

[A]

I have been doing mailbags. People have been sending great emails and they could send them to bspodcast33gmail.com David Haynes.

[C]

I love that. Mailbags are back, by the way.

[A]

Mailbags are back. Well, it's when the emails are good. Mailbags shouldn't have gone anywhere. I know, it's my fault.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know why that's my fault.

[A]

You know, we all can't bat a hundred. Bat a thousand.

[C]

McDonald's like, I'm gonna take Happy Meals off the menu for a few years.

[A]

They'll do that sometimes. We all can't bat a hundred. How did I come up with that? David Haynes.

[C]

A hundred. Yeah.

[A]

Here's his pitch. You love your new child, but don't you miss the nightlife of the city? Cozying up to the bar for the 1pm games? Maybe you loved attending a matinee before you had a little one. Well, with the baby weight, you don't have to give up the former pleasures of your social life. You can leave your child at home, enjoy hours for your child without any worry of them getting into the pantry, calling over stairs, or really getting beyond the 1 to 2 foot radius where you left them. The baby weight is a weighted diaper that strengthens the will and the physique of your child. They won't go far, but you can. I thought obviously not a great half baked idea, but I really admired how fucking crazy it is. Wait, you're at the bar. Hold on, let me get the baby weight.

[D]

I don't understand. Is it to restrain the baby?

[A]

Yeah, I think it's the baby in your home. It's like a, like almost like a weight harness.

[D]

Well, you could also just take a 25 pound weight and, and handcuff them to the weight. Is that. I mean, what's the difference?

[A]

I would say that was not even a half baked idea. It bummed out wilds.

[C]

No, that doesn't. That wouldn't. That wouldn't. That wouldn't make it through our sensors.

[A]

Didn't make it.

[D]

That's not ethical. AI.

[A]

What was the last one you had?

[C]

Final one. You guys will like this one.

[A]

Baby weight. We can recover from baby weight. He spelled it W A I T, which I. It's pretty good. Yeah.

[D]

The best part about that is that.

[C]

Was the genesis of it.

[A]

Baby weight.

[C]

He's like, I backed into that one. Bill. When Sean Payton went for it on fourth down instead of kicking the field goal and making it 14 nothing Broncos and you saw that they were coming out and the field goal unit was staying on the sideline, were you happy or nervous?

[A]

I have text threads praying that they were going to go for it.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

I thought it was our only chance. Please go from there because even if they got it, it wouldn't have necessarily been a touchdown. They would have been like first and goal from the eight. Wasn't even guaranteeing them anything.

[C]

And if we. And if we stopped it, which we did, that will be the momentum to.

[A]

And I thought we could stop them. It's Jared Stid.

[D]

Please go for this.

[C]

We're locked in as part of your analytics team for an NFL, NBA baseball. If you want to pull a pitcher, should you leave them in, you have one super fan of every opponent you play on your schedule and you've got them watching the game in your building, but they're hooked up like a F1 racer and they're seeing their heart rate and they're measuring sweat. And your data guys can figure out like, oh, hey, before you make this call, Peyton, we've got three Patriots fans sequestered away and I just saw their dopamine shoot up till 99. Call a timeout and get the field goal kicker on. Let's see what happens. Oh, it just dropped. Yeah, they don't want you to kick the field goal. They want you to go.

[A]

But the fancy other team wouldn't want to participate in this because they wouldn't want to affect the outcome negatively. I mean, what really should happen.

[D]

Hold on What I don't understand.

[A]

See, you would. You couldn't kidnap the Patriot fans to study their dopamine because they wouldn't want to help the other team.

[C]

No, it's. But we're looking at like pupils dilating. You can't. It's on. It's. You're not just saying, I want you to go for it. This is. You're hooked up to a machine. Like they got one ratio to be.

[A]

Choose to be hooked up to the machine. Right.

[C]

Yeah, but what if some salary.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Or to turn on my team. I'm helping Sean Payton. I'm not putting the machine on now.

[C]

You'Re getting seats, fan. You get paid for it.

[D]

Yeah, it's $20,000. And you get seats right on the midfield, 10 rows up and all the.

[A]

So that's my price.

[D]

And beer.

[A]

That's my price for helping the Broncos.

[D]

Well, that's, that would be my price. I mean, I was watching the game.

[A]

See, I think it would be the technology of a camera from far away could zoom in and study the pupils of the fans in attendance. That's true. Unwittingly, they're participating and you have everybody miked and you hear the Patriots fans going, I hope they go for it. I hope they go for it. And that's how you do it. There's something here, though. I do feel like nobody knows. There's no more honest reaction in sports than people rooting for their own team instinctively being like, I hope this happens or I hope this doesn't happen. I would still take a hundred times out of a hundred over the analytic charts and I like analytics and I obviously use them a lot with stuff. But that was a perfect example of misreading the situation because no Patriots fan wanted them to go up 10 nothing. When we're in bad weather and there's snow coming and it was just like, this is a disaster. If they go up to nothing, please go for this.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

14 nothing. 10 nothing. I don't think even think it mattered.

[C]

That's a perfect idea. That's perfect.

[A]

House, do you have any golf half baked ideas for us?

[D]

No, No. I, I, I didn't come in prepared. I didn't even know that this was going to be the thing there. There was all. Most of golf is half baked ideas. That's the thing. Like go, go look at golf gadgets like a very simple Google. You will will send Back to you 15,000 ways of improving your swing, improving, improving your posture, improving every aspect. And remember, golf has three different kinds of techniques that you have to be good at. You have to be good at driving the ball. You have to be good at hitting irons. More than that, chipping the ball, putting. So every one of those activities, those disciplines has 10,000 suggestions for getting better at them.

[A]

I have.

[D]

They're all half baked.

[A]

I have one small one. First of all, SNL had a sketch about making fun of Spotify wrapped. And it was your postmates wrapped of all their. All your orders. And you just got them all delivered of everything you've ordered on Postmates or Ubereats. Any delivery wrap.

[D]

I already look at my doordash orders.

[A]

I thought it was a great idea for pleasure. Everything in there. And it's just like how I did in 2025. I thought that was great. Can we talk about. So people, if you have dogs, like, some people have dog walkers, some people walk their own dogs. Some people have help if they have work. Why don't we have postmates, dog walkers, like 9:30 at night. Murphs just has too much energy. And I'm like, oh man, Murph probably needs to go out and walk around. But I'm wearing pajamas. I want to watch this Clippers game. I don't feel like taking them out. I'm gonna go outside and I.

[C]

Dialogue exists, but certainly not at the level that it should be.

[A]

That's right, Postmates. Y. I call in and somebody just shows up, walks the dog 20 minutes the same way they would deliver food.

[D]

I love this. And doordash, at least in my area now has expanded to where you can order stuff, right? You can order running shoes, you can order.

[A]

Right.

[D]

A computer mouse.

[A]

They're basically like a personal assistant, if that's it.

[C]

So there's.

[D]

You add to the menu of things that. That are available. Doordash, Ubereats, whatever. Postmates, a personal assistant that. That is also available. This person will be at your. Your residence in 30 minutes. I mean, and maybe they have a.

[A]

Bunch of people in the neighborhood. So they have. They have like 15 people that they're kind of on call for, like doctors. Feels like that this is where we're all heading. We're just never going to leave our house is where we're going.

[C]

That's the thing. Convenience is the enemy. It is a good idea. You could probably tie it into an exercise app too. It's like, hey, get your steps up and do it with a dog.

[D]

Well, let me ask this, Wilds. We just went through an enormous snowstorm here on the East Coast. I know you got walloped. Did you shovel your Own walk.

[A]

Oh, I definitely. He definitely.

[C]

Several times.

[A]

Yeah. There's no wilds.

[C]

I liked doing it.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[C]

It's.

[A]

I get that.

[D]

I like it for when it's about 2 inches and you know, it takes a half hour to do one portion of one walkway.

[C]

I.

[D]

There's no chance for what Washington D.C. received, the DMV received, which was five inches. Five, six inches of snow. And then hours and hours of sleet on top of that snow that made the snow weigh each shovel full 214 pounds. I mean, I might be exaggerating, but I waited until Monday. You know, all the snow was done Sunday night. I waited until midday Monday. And I went into my task rabbit and found couple enterprising young fellas. Like, come on. Cause you know what? We don't have any more wilds or Simmons kids that come to the door and say, hey, can we shovel your walk for 20. I was one of those.

[C]

I was gonna tell my kids, like, hey, there's money to be made out there today.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That is different. Like, we did the Zodiac rewatchables on Monday, and there's a scene in Zodiac when the guy's flashing his lights behind the lady who's got the kid in the car played by Oni sky, and she pulls over and he's like, hey, your back tire's loose. Let me fix it. And she's like, sure. Thank you. And then he loosens the tire even more so it comes off because he basically wants to kidnap her. People are just way more trusting and friendly back then. We've lost that. Nobody would shovel your house. Now we're all afraid of the guy coming behind you flashing his lights. That's the problem.

[C]

Next time, call me. I'll get on the Amtrak. I'll do it.

[D]

I appreciate that.

[A]

Wait.

[D]

I appreciate that.

[A]

House and wilds, before you go, I had one last tiny. I don't even know if this is a half baked idea, but it's about my son. It's almost like a parent corner. My son started drinking coffee.

[C]

Love.

[A]

It happened about two months ago. Had never tried it before. Never really understood it and just decided at some point they have those zins, they have all these different things, those little nicotine things. Not for him. Wanted some sort of a little caffeine boost. Was a big soda guy, but finally had a coffee and was like, this is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I had a coffee in the morning.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think he needs it, per se.

[A]

Well, because I had leftover coffee. Had it in the morning. I had a great day at school. And he's like, I can't believe you didn't tell me how great coffee is. And I was like, well, you saw me and mom drinking it. You know how much I care about it. We make it every day. It's like my favorite thing of the day. Like, I don't know what you were missing. You've been here the whole time. It's like, yeah, but you still. You didn't tell me. So now he's really into coffee. Today he made a coffee and made a little in the espresso machine. Little espresso to top it off. And I'm wondering, here's my half baked idea. Should I just do PSAs for people where we used to do the don't do drugs for when we were kids in high school? Do I do PSAs about how great coffee is for high school use people like 8th grade and up. Hey, it's Bill Simmons. I want to tell you about something called coffee. It changed my life. I have it twice a day. It's really great. Do you feel a little sluggish at school during the mornings? I have an idea for you. Coffee.

[C]

I felt like drinking coffee in high school. Felt like you were an adult.

[A]

It was validation.

[C]

Well, you're carrying around like you. And the teacher is like, yeah, I hear you. Like, I got a coffee too. I'm at Dunkin Donuts. It's fantastic. It's the best drug.

[D]

How old are your kids now?

[A]

Hi, I'm Joe House. Every afternoon I have a trenta iced coffee. Well, that's true. And they add an espresso shot to it. And I'm able to do podcasts for three hours at a time. Please try coffee.

[C]

Those things are.

[D]

Are they teenagers?

[C]

13 and 11. And when Russell comes down, I ask him like, hey, I'm drinking coffee. I'm like, hey, do you want a coffee? And he says no, obviously he's 13.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But I ask him every day, waiting for the day where it's going to be like a field of dreams moment. It's like, hey, dad, can I have a coffee?

[A]

Age 16. If I could do it over again, I would have started Ben at 16.

[D]

I'd have been like, that's my question.

[A]

You're 16.

[D]

That's my question.

[A]

I have to introduce the coffee.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

The other day.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

We went to see my mom on Saturday and we were driving back and Ben's like, looks at me and goes, starbucks drive thru. I almost said, started sobbing tears of joy. I Was like, this is. I've never felt closer to you in 18 years. It's appropriate.

[D]

He is college age and it is part of the college experience. And that's like really where, where you experiment, you find your thing. I mean, there's. The coffee experience is so much more sophisticated now than what we grew up with. You know, what we had available to us, it was, it was purely a. A matter of function. Back when we were in college, it was not like, this is delicious. It was like, I need this for fuel. I need this to.

[A]

No, it's like putting gas in your car. Because on the Zodiac pod, I said one of the most 1970s thing about the movie is somebody comes over to somebody's house and the cop has to wake up and his wife goes, let me make some Folgers. And I said, that's the most 1970s thing that instead of saying coffee, she said Folgers. And then I got some emails from people like, you're a snob. They still make Folgers.

[C]

Like, why do you pumping?

[A]

Yeah. And I don't. I personally don't drink Folgers because I'm a coffee snob. I like to buy like really douchey 16 bags. Like we get stuff from milk tests from Hawaii sometimes. Because I like.

[D]

You don't have to confess all that. You could just say, I'm just telling.

[A]

You, like, I really like coffee. I enjoy getting like, we go full douche. I like. I'm going full douche. I like trying different coffees. I like trying different beans and Folgers. Just seemed like that was like what you bought in a store 50 years ago, but apparently it's still being made house.

[C]

I'll drink coffee as a drink and deal with the caffeine. Deal with the caffeine. Even though I know it's bad. Nine o'. Clock. Want espresso after dinner? Oh, do I want to be up till 3 in the morning? Yes.

[D]

Well, that times I will get a decaf because I love the warm. I love the smell of it. I love how reassuring it is.

[C]

Placebo, though, I don't think it's.

[A]

Yeah, I know I have a lot of vices. Like I like to gamble on football. I'm not like one of those. Oh, I got this great 300 bottle of Scotch you guys gotta try. But I really do like coffee. And also when my wife makes it, she never make. I'm always a little off. I feel like I'm an F1 car. I need. My engine needs to be perfectly calibrated. Not Too much coffee, too much caffeine. I feel a little off. Not enough caffeine. My head hurts. I kind of know what my engine is. Do you guys feel that way with coffee? No. Am I the only one like this?

[C]

Supposedly the guy who gave up coffee, was it Michael Pollian who's written all.

[D]

Those like, yeah, Poland, yeah.

[C]

He gave up coffee and his like brain started to try to get him to places where there was coffee. Like you need to go run this errand. But his brain was telling him to go over there really? Because there was coffee. So he gives up coffee for 30 days. And the question he was discussing was, is his normal self caffeinated? When your normal self is actually not caffeinated. Right. Your normal self is your normal self. But I view my normal self as caffeinated. But it's not true. I'm actually on a stimulant.

[A]

Is it a stimulant or is it just a drug of the gods?

[D]

It can be both. Can it?

[C]

It's the best drug.

[D]

We don't have to choose.

[C]

Everyone's like, we gotta legalize this.

[A]

I gave up sugar in my coffee right after Christmas and I missed it for two days. Now I don't miss it at all. If anything, it makes me taste the coffee even better. I know, I know. House is like, he's blacker than black with the coffee.

[D]

I don't put anything in it.

[A]

He pours tar in his coffee to make it blacker.

[C]

So the other thing that this Poland was talking about, he quit for 30 days and he said that first taste of coffee was.

[A]

Didn't taste good.

[C]

Out of this world.

[A]

Oh, out of this world.

[D]

Out of this world. That's right. Exactly. That's right.

[C]

To the point where I was like the way he was describing, I'm like, should I quit coffee just to hit that high? Because now I'm drinking coffee and it's not hitting. You know, I gotta.

[A]

I feel like if I was built.

[C]

Up too much of a tolerance.

[D]

There's a half baked idea in here.

[A]

If I was Tom Hanks and Castaway, the coffee thing would be a top three thing I'd be the most upset about on the island. Like no humans not knowing what sports is going on or with any of my family's alive and then what the fuck am I going to do about coffee? Is there, can I find a cocoa bean on this island?

[D]

You would want that before having food on the beach.

[A]

For food. I'd be walking around like, is there coffee? Wait, does that look like I could grind that with some rocks. I can grind that. Then I would figure out how to spearfish and maybe wean myself off. But I really love coffee. Anyway, Wilds, thanks for hanging around. Just for people.

[C]

Thank you, guys.

[A]

Wilds had to hear an echo in his ear the entire time, so he's probably, like half insane at this point, the poor guy.

[D]

All right, House, way to fight through it.

[A]

Great to see you as always. I'll see you on Tuesday. We'll do some super bowl stuff.

[D]

Don't forget about do it.

[A]

Wilds on first things first with Nick Wright and Broussard every day, three o' clock every day. How much taunting is there with Nick Wright? Cause he was like such a fucking pompous Chiefs fan there for a while. Like, oh, the AFC runs through us. And guess what? It doesn't. And your coach is old.

[C]

You know, I. I've. At some point Nick is going to get mad at me for how pompous I've been. I'm going to pull a line from that old, like, drug commercial. It was like a psa. It's like, you know, I learned this from. I learned it from you. Yeah, I learned it from watching you.

[A]

I remember that commercial.

[D]

That's a great one. Let's dig that up.

[A]

Kevin Wilds, thank you. Thanks, House.

[C]

All right, see you guys.

[D]

Thanks, fellas.

[A]

All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Zach, thanks to House, thanks to Wilds, thanks to Eduardo and Gahau as well. Don't forget rewatchable Zodiac was last week. It's up. You can also find Wild Things is coming Monday night and you can watch that on Netflix over the weekend. Enjoy the weekend. I'm going to be back on Sunday night at 5pm PT, 8pm ET live on Netflix. We're going to be doing our special super bowl props episode that we've been doing since the 2000s. I'm not kidding. That's how long we've been doing it live on Netflix. And you'll be able to hear that wherever you get this podcast, including on Spotify, I hope. Anyway, enjoy the weekend. See you Sunday. Must be 21 plus on President select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 on President DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gamma problem. Call 100 Gambler visitors rg-help.com call 888-797-7777 or visit ccpg.orgchinconnecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5550 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny.