The Bill Simmons Podcast – September 22, 2025

Episode: Are the Chargers for Real? Plus: the Tommy Boy Titans, a New York Swoon, Throwback Pats PTSD, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal.

Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Cousin Sal
Main Themes: NFL Week 3 Recap, “Are the Chargers for Real?”, NFL Power Rankings, Notable Coaching Decisions, and the Outlook for Major Teams. Plus, the always-popular Guess the Lines segment.

Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal break down a tumultuous NFL Week 3, hitting on everything from underwhelming primetime games to surprising contenders and classic coaching blunders. Highlight topics include the Chargers’ legitimacy as Super Bowl contenders, New York’s football misery, catastrophic coaching from the Tennessee “Tommy Boy” Titans, and the psychological fallout for Patriots fans. As always, the pair wrap with their “Guess the Lines” game for Week 4.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chiefs-Giants Snoozefest and CBS Throwback Night

• [03:28] Simmons: Noted the Chiefs-Giants game was terrible and reflected on CBS's 1970s-styled broadcast, including nostalgia for the bad Patriots of his youth.
• [03:51] Cousin Sal: Sympathized with Simmons’ Patriots PTSD, mocking the Pats’ current state with quips about turnover-plagued past teams.

2. State of the Chiefs & Mahomes Discourse

• [06:00] Bill: Kicked off a tongue-in-cheek “Mahomes hot takes” segment—suggesting (facetiously) Mahomes may no longer be a top 3 QB.
• [06:17] Cousin Sal: “He’s a better defensive player than he is quarterback.” (referencing Mahomes’ bizarre play awareness)
• [07:12] Sal: Examines the impact of Tyreek Hill’s absence; “He just does so much though. I hate to put it on him.”
• [08:10] Simmons: Outlines teams he views as true Super Bowl contenders after three weeks: Buffalo, Cowboys, Philly, Chargers, Green Bay, Tampa Bay, Rams, and then a muddled last spot among KC, SF, and Detroit.

3. NFL Power Rankings: After Three Weeks

• [08:41] Cousin Sal: “I’d put Detroit over KC right now. They’re not getting a lot of love at all.”
• [09:28] Simmons: “San Francisco seems to have a massive injury every week... just seem snakebit.”

4. NFC vs AFC Strength, Undefeated Teams, and New York Disaster

• [09:55] Simmons & Sal: Discuss surging NFC, relative AFC weakness, and the shockingly bad New York teams (Jets & Giants a combined 0-6).
• [10:55] Simmons: Trivia nugget: the Jets/Giants’ worst season combo was 7-25 (in 1996).
• [11:52] Sal: “They did a good job pulling [the Giants] off primetime for the most part.”

5. Betting Blues and South Division Doldrums

• [13:00] Simmons: Admits a horrendous gambling week, setting a self-deprecating tone.
• [13:19] Sal: “Those early games were just monsters. Just really, really bad.”
• Conversation shifts to abysmal teams like the Jaguars, Texans, Panthers, and Falcons—a “sound and fury, signifying nothing” slate.

6. Chargers-Denver: The Playoff Audition

[21:45; 23:31] Core Segment

• [22:02] Simmons: “I thought the Broncos defense was great... they pressured Herbert, sacked him five times... felt like a playoff game.”
• [23:40] Sal: “It didn’t feel like a classic Chargers game. Chargers would have blown that game, no question.”
• [24:31] Bill: “Feels like [Herbert] has gone up a level and he’s just hitting these little checkpoints... That team has the look.”
• [25:59] Simmons: Highlights a “softer” Chargers upcoming schedule, suggesting they could be 6-0 heading into the Colts game.
• [26:46] Sal: “Had they lost to Denver, then... this is up for grabs. But [odds are]—minus 1.55—it’s theirs.”

7. Rams-Eagles Gambling Debacle

• [27:38] Both: Breakdown of wild game; Rams’ shocking collapse, blocked FG return (“utter pandemonium Sportsbook game”).
• [28:58] Sal: “Does it get any worse than that?” Recounts the “fat guy” touchdown on the blocked field goal.
• [30:38] Simmons: “The Eagles, they had to fall behind by 19 to become entertaining... That game also felt playoffy.”

8. Emerging Stars and Offensive Player of the Year Watch

• [30:49] Simmons: Elevates Rams’ Nakua to “Chase/Jefferson tier.”
• [31:21] Sal: “Nakua is third [for Offensive Player of the Year] at +750.”

9. QB Rookie and Sophomore Check-in

• [32:30] Simmons: “Where are you with Bo Nix right now?” Places solid but inconsistent rookie campaigns in perspective.
• Both are critical of Trevor Lawrence (Jags) and lament Houston’s lack of offensive identity.

10. Coaching Blunders & the “Tommy Boy” Titans

• [38:13] Simmons: Rips into Titans coach Callahan’s agonizingly mismanaged end-of-half sequence.
• [39:15] Sal: “Funny, because Callahan was the name of the tires...in Tommy Boy should that be our nickname? Tommy Boy?”

11. Colts as a Possible Division Winner

• [41:39] Sal: “I believe they can win that division... they’re getting all the love on FanDuel.”
• Colts’ easy schedule, Daniels’ “Indiana Jones” nickname debated (much to Sal’s irritation).

12. Heartbreaks & Nickname Games: Patriots, Cowboys, Dolphins

• [48:47] Simmons: Patriots fumbled four (!) times in the red zone—a “gut punch three hours.”
• [51:02] Sal: Coins “Drake Maybe” for Pats rookie QB Maye: “He maybe good, I don’t know.” Bill (reluctantly) loves it.
• [52:57] Cousin Sal: “You revived Caleb’s career… your defense has given up 12 25+ yard plays in two games.”

13. Guess the Lines – Week 4

Many games discussed—key lines and banter highlight teams that have become betting landmines or opportunities.

• [61:25] Simmons nails Cardinals by 1.5 over Seahawks, showing rare confidence.
• [64:05] Ravens favored at KC is “a fair line. [But] it’s tough when the Chiefs are trotting out two guys the Pats waived as starters.”
• [65:47] The pair address Baker Mayfield’s “1pm Savior” status: “[He’s] my favorite non-Patriots QB to watch.” (Simmons)
• [68:20] Rams favored by 3.5 over Colts—Sal: “I wish I wasn’t so angry at the Rams. This would be…I would be all over this.”

14. Announcer Standouts & Media Musings

• [76:13] Bill: Praises JJ Watt as a “fantastic” color commentator, outshining Tom Brady in his new TV gig. “He was seeing everything, and I just—learned shit from him.”
• Brady, Watt, Greg Olsen, and others ranked; consensus: broadcast talent deep, but star power and analysis vary.

15. Nostalgia, Family, and Parent Corner

• [87:33] Cousin Sal shares a story about Jimmy Kimmel and his son—humor abounds, but both hosts stay coy given real-world news context.
• [90:12] Bill’s mother still brings up an ancient “shoe to the eye” incident—a decades-old family running joke.

Notable Quotes & Highlights

• Bill Simmons:

  • “[The Chargers] could be 6-0 heading into the Colts game.” (26:13)
  • “Five turnovers, twenty-six first downs—I don’t remember that stat ever.” (49:31)
  • “He probably deserves it…that’s a really good nickname.” (re: “Drake Maybe” for QB Maye, 51:12)
  • “Baker [Mayfield] is my favorite non-Patriots QB to watch…he’s always alive in the fourth quarter.” (66:10)
  • “Parent Corner: My mom has been bringing up [Carrie’s shoe accident]…for 27 years.” (89:09)

• Cousin Sal:

  • “He’s a better defensive player than he is quarterback.” (re: Mahomes, 06:17)
  • “It didn’t feel like a classic Chargers game. Chargers would have blown that game; no question.” (23:40)
  • “I feel like we may have a new entry to the first coach fired.” (re: Callahan, 39:06)
  • “Drake Maybe…You got to say it like, ‘Drake Maybe, he may be good, I don’t know…’” (51:02)
  • “You revived Caleb [Williams]’s career today…He’s back.” (53:16)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:28 — Recap of Chiefs-Giants, CBS throwback broadcast, Patriots nostalgia.
• 06:00 — Mahomes “hot take” banter and Chiefs’ supporting cast.
• 08:10 — Bill’s “eight teams that can win the Super Bowl.”
• 13:00 — Gambling disasters and salvos against the AFC South.
• 22:02 — In-depth Chargers-Broncos playoff-caliber analysis.
• 27:38 — Rams-Eagles review, gambling heartbreak, and the “blocked field goal miracle.”
• 30:34 — Nakua’s emergence as a top WR; OPOY odds.
• 38:13 — Titans’ Callahan shredded (“Tommy Boy” coaching moment).
• 41:39 — Colts winning the division? Skepticism and schedule review.
• 48:47 — Patriots' red zone turnovers and Maye’s development (“Drake Maybe”).
• 61:25 onwards — Guess the Lines: full rundown with sharp betting insights, upsets, and line movement logic.
• 76:13 — Announcer review: JJ Watt, Brady, broadcasting landscape.
• 87:33 — Parent Corner stories: family gossip, generational humor.

Memorable Moments

• “Drake Maybe” nickname birth for the Patriots’ rookie QB—a sign of both hope and concern for Pats fans.
• Sal’s “Tommy Boy” moniker for Titans coach Callahan, after a brutal sequence of indecision and penalties.
• Massive sports-betting meltdowns: Rams’ blocked field goal TD, three-team parlays gone awry, and reminders of past Music City Miracle trauma
• Comparisons of broadcast teams, with surprise praise for JJ Watt’s analyst debut.
• The “New York Swoon”—historically bad Jets/Giants start, prompting trivia and black humor.

Tone & Style

• Classic Simmons and Sal: sarcastic, anecdotal, nostalgic, endlessly riffing on misfortune—sports, gambling, and life.
• Frequent callbacks to old teams, movies, family and pop culture; generous with self-mockery and mocking each other's teams.

Summary Takeaway

This episode is a must-listen for NFL junkies and gamblers alike—offering equal parts substantive analysis, humor, historical context, and betting intel. Whether you need a lifeline after a rough gambling weekend, want perspective on the league’s true contenders (“Are the Chargers for Real?”), or simply want to laugh at Cousin Sal’s self-inflicted Cowboys misery, this episode covers all the bases.