The Bill Simmons Podcast
Episode: BakerMania, Kelce’s New Identity, Cross-Off Teams, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner (w/ Cousin Sal & Jimmy Kimmel)
Date: October 13, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons
Guests: Cousin Sal & Jimmy Kimmel
Episode Overview
In this episode, Bill Simmons is joined by his regular partner-in-crime Cousin Sal to break down a wild—and in some cases, ugly—NFL Week 6 slate. From Baker Mayfield’s MVP odds (“BakerMania!”), to the ever-shifting fates of teams like the Niners and Ravens, to the hilarity of Taylor Swift’s rumored ode to Travis Kelce, there’s no shortage of banter, gambling takes, and storytelling. Later, Jimmy Kimmel drops in for a chaotic Parent Corner, full of laugh-out-loud anecdotes about raising kids—and parents’ quirks.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Week 6 NFL Recap: “Worst Start-to-Finish Day of Football”
- General Malaise: Both hosts lament the overall lack of excitement in Week 6—bad games, bad quarterback play, and even the London matchup was a dud.
- London “Poop Sorbet” Game: The early London game is compared to a palate cleanser that actually ruins the meal. (04:24)
- “Now I know the purpose of the London game. Have two quarterbacks that are so bad that it distracts you from the slew of bad quarterbacks in the 1pm games.” —Cousin Sal [04:24]
2. BakerMania & MVP Race
The Baker Mayfield Resurrection
- Bucs-Niners Fallout: With the Niners losing core players to injury (Fred Warner, Bosa), the Bucs win becomes a bigger story.
- Baker’s Evolution: The pod spends considerable time marveling at Baker’s comeback and how wrong both Carolina and Cleveland were in discarding him.
- “If you still have the same front office, you're bringing those guys in and you're like, what the fuck did we miss with Baker Mayfield?” —Bill [10:38]
- MVP Odds Movement: There’s shock as Baker’s MVP odds move from +151 to +430, now only behind Mahomes and Allen.
- “He’s probably too good for this award. Like, if I’m Baker Mayfield and I win this award, I’m like, screw it. Mark Mosley won MVP. Give me something different.” —Sal [07:13]
- Signature Play: Third-and-14 scramble and conversion becomes the “Baker Stamp” moment every week.
- “The one you talked about was third and 14, where you could see like, he's starting to get an erection... But he's like, I'm going to scramble. I'm going to break three different tackles... and it's just dynamite.” —Sal [08:48]
The Bucs Outlook & Tough Sledding Ahead
- Injuries Loom: Igbuka and key WRs banged up; next four games are brutal.
- Betting Trend: Despite injuries, Bill won’t bet against Baker.
- “And yet I wouldn’t bet against Baker out today. And you just, you can’t keep them under 30 points is the thing.” —Sal [14:00]
Other Quarterback Resurrections
- Discussing rare QBs who’ve come back from the brink: only Carson Palmer and Kurt Warner get compared to Baker.
3. NFC & Conference Power Rankings
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49ers as a “Year from Hell” Team: Decimated by injury, OL is not dominant, possibly falling behind Detroit, Tampa, etc.
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Eagles Woes: Jalen Hurts seems sluggish; Sal questions “Tush Push” sustainability.
- “Their wide receivers pretty much hate him. And, and, And. I don't know. Was. Was Barkley. Was that just a weird thing last year that isn't going to happen again?” —Sal [16:36]
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Seahawks “City Cluster” Theory: Bill theorizes that citywide sports success (Mariners, WNBA, Seahawks) can snowball—a "Good Vibes Theory."
- “Sometimes it happens where the city…just feels like, oh my god, every single thing is going wrong anyway. Stupid theory.” —Bill [24:01]
4. Kelce’s New Identity: “Travis Wood”
- Deep-Cut Taylor Swift Banter: Bill and House riff on the speculation that Taylor wrote “Wood” about Travis Kelce’s, uh, prowess.
- “She wrote this whole gushing love song about his sexual prowess. Like he should just be Travis Wood. Kelsey.” —Bill [28:12]
- “Look at Woody over there.” —Sal [28:09]
- Hilarious reminiscences on high school locker room nicknames, e.g., “Tripod.”
5. NFL Week 6: Game-by-Game Observations
a. Steelers, Ravens, and AFC North
- Steelers: Steadily in control, line movement discussed for Thursday night.
- Ravens: Are they a cross-off? Lamar’s historical performance and path to 10 wins analyzed.
b. Cross-Off Teams
- Five teams are “officially” crossed off from playoff contention:
- Jets [55:06]
- Browns [55:14]
- Titans [55:22]
- Dolphins (after another close loss) [55:32]
- Saints [57:22]
- “We have five crossups.” —Sal [57:33]
c. Other Team Notes
- Colts: Best record in AFC, defense questioned after Jacoby Brissett carves them up.
- Giants: “Dart and Scatterboo” compared to ‘80s wrestling tag teams; Bill and Sal revel in NY media angst.
6. Guess the Lines
(segments throughout beginning at [60:56])
- Bill and Sal trade predictions on next week’s NFL spreads, debate trap lines, and joke about cheating rumors.
- Notable lines discussed:
- Steelers -5.5 at Bengals (Thursday)
- Rams -2.5 (in London vs. Jags)
- Chiefs -10.5 vs. Raiders
- Lions -5.5 vs. “decimated” Bucs
7. Parent Corner with Jimmy Kimmel [80:07–104:02]
Billy Kimmel, Age 8: The Wild Child
- Obsession with Death: Wants to know who’ll take care of him “if mom and dad die.” Possibly rooting for it?!
- Maniacal Energy: Treats adult office workers as playtime victims, “antagonizing and attacking everybody.” (83:06)
- Pantsless Escapades: Celebrity penis, repeated denials despite clear evidence.
- “He and his penis are like Starsky and Hutch. They are a team that cannot be separated.” —Jimmy [83:31]
- “Your penis is not entertainment.” —Molly Kimmel [87:13]
- Ass-Grabbing and Inappropriate Jokes: At home, school, and beyond, a lovable handful.
- Baddylicious & Cool Mom: New GenZ lingo triggers generational warfare at dinner.
Parenting and Grandparenting Quirks
- Older Generations: Constant retelling of the same stories, bad text messages, weird tech snafus (Sal’s mom renaming herself “Melanie” on his phone).
- “Did I tell you that? Blah, blah, blah... insurance commercial told me 20 minutes ago...” —Bill [90:32]
- Parental Recognition: Parents proudly recount being recognized in public, or simply name-drop (e.g., "Garth from Mazda" story).
On Sibling Competition
- At what age are you okay losing to your kids in sports? Consensus: “Never!” (But maybe 14–19 depending on the sport.)
- “I just won't. Like, I'm just never gonna let him win. He's gonna have to beat me. Because I feel like when he does beat me—which he will eventually—it will be much more exciting and satisfying for him.” —Jimmy [101:25]
Tribute to Alex Wallau
- Moving eulogy for the late TV executive and friend of the show, with fond stories of his humor and boxing days.
- “He was always funny no matter what was going on.” —Jimmy [108:54]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On NFL Quarterback Play:
"The only two QBs who have been resurrected were him and Carson Palmer... The Baker thing is much crazier." —Bill [09:54] -
On Mayfield's Moxie:
"I feel like I've been losing money to him for five years..." —Bill [10:22] -
On Taylor/Travis Kelce Saga:
"She wrote this whole gushing love song about his sexual prowess. Like he should just be Travis Wood. Kelsey." —Bill [28:12] -
On Cross-Off Teams:
"We have five crossups." —Sal [57:35] -
On Parenting Quirks:
"He and his penis are like Starsky and Hutch." —Jimmy Kimmel [83:31] -
On City-wide Sports Momentum ("Cluster Theory"):
“Sometimes it happens where the city where good stuff aligns and then… the opposite happens. Where you just feel like, oh my God, every single thing is going wrong.” —Bill [24:01] -
On Losing to Your Kids:
"I think losing a race would be number one... the most primal thing you could do other than fight is race somebody. And the moment they're faster than you... you'd feel old." —Bill [102:18]
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment | |--------------|----------------------------------------------| | 04:24 | Opening: Week 6 recap, “worst” Sunday | | 09:54 | Baker Mayfield’s comeback: history & odds | | 14:00 | Bucs’ schedule, injuries, refusing to bet vs Baker | | 16:36 | Eagles issues, “Tush Push” and Hurts | | 18:37 | Seahawks, “city cluster” theory | | 24:01 | More on citywide sports vibes | | 28:12 | Travis Kelce/Taylor Swift “Wood” conversation | | 31:13 | Cowboys/Panthers game breakup | | 36:17 | Pats vs Saints, Drake May’s breakout | | 55:06 | Cross-off teams segment begins | | 60:56 | Guess the Lines (Week 7 opening spreads) | | 80:07 | Parent Corner with Jimmy Kimmel (hilarious high jinks and parenting gripes) | | 107:12 | Tribute to Alex Wallau |
Episode Tone & Energy
Playful, exasperated, and self-deprecating. The pod captures Sunday night football fatigue, incredulity at league parity (or lack thereof), and the time-honored tradition of parents and uncles busting each other’s chops. All delivered through Simmons and Sal’s rapid-fire sarcasm, with Kimmel bringing signature late-night comedy and familial glee.
For First-Time Listeners
This episode is a signature blend of wide-ranging NFL analysis, gambling banter, and laugh-out-loud personal stories from three longtime friends. You’ll get plenty of actionable takes on team futures and odds, deeply unserious Taylor Swift references, and a genuinely funny look at the chaos of parenting (and being parented).
Recommended for listeners who want:
NFL analysis, betting strategy, pop culture tangents, real-life hilarity, and a unique blend of irreverence and insight from three comedy/sports veterans.