BakerMania, Kelce’s New Identity, Cross-Off Teams, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner With Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode: BakerMania, Kelce’s New Identity, Cross-Off Teams, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner (w/ Cousin Sal & Jimmy Kimmel)

Date: October 13, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons
Guests: Cousin Sal & Jimmy Kimmel

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Bill Simmons is joined by his regular partner-in-crime Cousin Sal to break down a wild—and in some cases, ugly—NFL Week 6 slate. From Baker Mayfield’s MVP odds (“BakerMania!”), to the ever-shifting fates of teams like the Niners and Ravens, to the hilarity of Taylor Swift’s rumored ode to Travis Kelce, there’s no shortage of banter, gambling takes, and storytelling. Later, Jimmy Kimmel drops in for a chaotic Parent Corner, full of laugh-out-loud anecdotes about raising kids—and parents’ quirks.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Week 6 NFL Recap: “Worst Start-to-Finish Day of Football”

• General Malaise: Both hosts lament the overall lack of excitement in Week 6—bad games, bad quarterback play, and even the London matchup was a dud.
• London “Poop Sorbet” Game: The early London game is compared to a palate cleanser that actually ruins the meal. (04:24)
  • “Now I know the purpose of the London game. Have two quarterbacks that are so bad that it distracts you from the slew of bad quarterbacks in the 1pm games.” —Cousin Sal [04:24]

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2. BakerMania & MVP Race

The Baker Mayfield Resurrection

• Bucs-Niners Fallout: With the Niners losing core players to injury (Fred Warner, Bosa), the Bucs win becomes a bigger story.
• Baker’s Evolution: The pod spends considerable time marveling at Baker’s comeback and how wrong both Carolina and Cleveland were in discarding him.
  • “If you still have the same front office, you're bringing those guys in and you're like, what the fuck did we miss with Baker Mayfield?” —Bill [10:38]
• MVP Odds Movement: There’s shock as Baker’s MVP odds move from +151 to +430, now only behind Mahomes and Allen.
  • “He’s probably too good for this award. Like, if I’m Baker Mayfield and I win this award, I’m like, screw it. Mark Mosley won MVP. Give me something different.” —Sal [07:13]
• Signature Play: Third-and-14 scramble and conversion becomes the “Baker Stamp” moment every week.
  • “The one you talked about was third and 14, where you could see like, he's starting to get an erection... But he's like, I'm going to scramble. I'm going to break three different tackles... and it's just dynamite.” —Sal [08:48]

The Bucs Outlook & Tough Sledding Ahead

• Injuries Loom: Igbuka and key WRs banged up; next four games are brutal.
• Betting Trend: Despite injuries, Bill won’t bet against Baker.
  • “And yet I wouldn’t bet against Baker out today. And you just, you can’t keep them under 30 points is the thing.” —Sal [14:00]

Other Quarterback Resurrections

• Discussing rare QBs who’ve come back from the brink: only Carson Palmer and Kurt Warner get compared to Baker.

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3. NFC & Conference Power Rankings

• 49ers as a “Year from Hell” Team: Decimated by injury, OL is not dominant, possibly falling behind Detroit, Tampa, etc.

• Eagles Woes: Jalen Hurts seems sluggish; Sal questions “Tush Push” sustainability.

  • “Their wide receivers pretty much hate him. And, and, And. I don't know. Was. Was Barkley. Was that just a weird thing last year that isn't going to happen again?” —Sal [16:36]

• Seahawks “City Cluster” Theory: Bill theorizes that citywide sports success (Mariners, WNBA, Seahawks) can snowball—a "Good Vibes Theory."

  • “Sometimes it happens where the city…just feels like, oh my god, every single thing is going wrong anyway. Stupid theory.” —Bill [24:01]

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4. Kelce’s New Identity: “Travis Wood”

• Deep-Cut Taylor Swift Banter: Bill and House riff on the speculation that Taylor wrote “Wood” about Travis Kelce’s, uh, prowess.
  • “She wrote this whole gushing love song about his sexual prowess. Like he should just be Travis Wood. Kelsey.” —Bill [28:12]
  • “Look at Woody over there.” —Sal [28:09]
  • Hilarious reminiscences on high school locker room nicknames, e.g., “Tripod.”

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5. NFL Week 6: Game-by-Game Observations

a. Steelers, Ravens, and AFC North

• Steelers: Steadily in control, line movement discussed for Thursday night.
• Ravens: Are they a cross-off? Lamar’s historical performance and path to 10 wins analyzed.

b. Cross-Off Teams

• Five teams are “officially” crossed off from playoff contention:
  1. Jets [55:06]
  2. Browns [55:14]
  3. Titans [55:22]
  4. Dolphins (after another close loss) [55:32]
  5. Saints [57:22]
  • “We have five crossups.” —Sal [57:33]

c. Other Team Notes

• Colts: Best record in AFC, defense questioned after Jacoby Brissett carves them up.
• Giants: “Dart and Scatterboo” compared to ‘80s wrestling tag teams; Bill and Sal revel in NY media angst.

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6. Guess the Lines

(segments throughout beginning at [60:56])

• Bill and Sal trade predictions on next week’s NFL spreads, debate trap lines, and joke about cheating rumors.
• Notable lines discussed:
  • Steelers -5.5 at Bengals (Thursday)
  • Rams -2.5 (in London vs. Jags)
  • Chiefs -10.5 vs. Raiders
  • Lions -5.5 vs. “decimated” Bucs

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7. Parent Corner with Jimmy Kimmel [80:07–104:02]

Billy Kimmel, Age 8: The Wild Child

• Obsession with Death: Wants to know who’ll take care of him “if mom and dad die.” Possibly rooting for it?!
• Maniacal Energy: Treats adult office workers as playtime victims, “antagonizing and attacking everybody.” (83:06)
• Pantsless Escapades: Celebrity penis, repeated denials despite clear evidence.
  • “He and his penis are like Starsky and Hutch. They are a team that cannot be separated.” —Jimmy [83:31]
  • “Your penis is not entertainment.” —Molly Kimmel [87:13]
• Ass-Grabbing and Inappropriate Jokes: At home, school, and beyond, a lovable handful.
• Baddylicious & Cool Mom: New GenZ lingo triggers generational warfare at dinner.

Parenting and Grandparenting Quirks

• Older Generations: Constant retelling of the same stories, bad text messages, weird tech snafus (Sal’s mom renaming herself “Melanie” on his phone).
  • “Did I tell you that? Blah, blah, blah... insurance commercial told me 20 minutes ago...” —Bill [90:32]
• Parental Recognition: Parents proudly recount being recognized in public, or simply name-drop (e.g., "Garth from Mazda" story).

On Sibling Competition

• At what age are you okay losing to your kids in sports? Consensus: “Never!” (But maybe 14–19 depending on the sport.)
• “I just won't. Like, I'm just never gonna let him win. He's gonna have to beat me. Because I feel like when he does beat me—which he will eventually—it will be much more exciting and satisfying for him.” —Jimmy [101:25]

Tribute to Alex Wallau

• Moving eulogy for the late TV executive and friend of the show, with fond stories of his humor and boxing days.
  • “He was always funny no matter what was going on.” —Jimmy [108:54]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On NFL Quarterback Play:
  "The only two QBs who have been resurrected were him and Carson Palmer... The Baker thing is much crazier." —Bill [09:54]

• On Mayfield's Moxie:
  "I feel like I've been losing money to him for five years..." —Bill [10:22]

• On Taylor/Travis Kelce Saga:
  "She wrote this whole gushing love song about his sexual prowess. Like he should just be Travis Wood. Kelsey." —Bill [28:12]

• On Cross-Off Teams:
  "We have five crossups." —Sal [57:35]

• On Parenting Quirks:
  "He and his penis are like Starsky and Hutch." —Jimmy Kimmel [83:31]

• On City-wide Sports Momentum ("Cluster Theory"):
  “Sometimes it happens where the city where good stuff aligns and then… the opposite happens. Where you just feel like, oh my God, every single thing is going wrong.” —Bill [24:01]

• On Losing to Your Kids:
  "I think losing a race would be number one... the most primal thing you could do other than fight is race somebody. And the moment they're faster than you... you'd feel old." —Bill [102:18]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |--------------|----------------------------------------------| | 04:24 | Opening: Week 6 recap, “worst” Sunday | | 09:54 | Baker Mayfield’s comeback: history & odds | | 14:00 | Bucs’ schedule, injuries, refusing to bet vs Baker | | 16:36 | Eagles issues, “Tush Push” and Hurts | | 18:37 | Seahawks, “city cluster” theory | | 24:01 | More on citywide sports vibes | | 28:12 | Travis Kelce/Taylor Swift “Wood” conversation | | 31:13 | Cowboys/Panthers game breakup | | 36:17 | Pats vs Saints, Drake May’s breakout | | 55:06 | Cross-off teams segment begins | | 60:56 | Guess the Lines (Week 7 opening spreads) | | 80:07 | Parent Corner with Jimmy Kimmel (hilarious high jinks and parenting gripes) | | 107:12 | Tribute to Alex Wallau |

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Episode Tone & Energy

Playful, exasperated, and self-deprecating. The pod captures Sunday night football fatigue, incredulity at league parity (or lack thereof), and the time-honored tradition of parents and uncles busting each other’s chops. All delivered through Simmons and Sal’s rapid-fire sarcasm, with Kimmel bringing signature late-night comedy and familial glee.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is a signature blend of wide-ranging NFL analysis, gambling banter, and laugh-out-loud personal stories from three longtime friends. You’ll get plenty of actionable takes on team futures and odds, deeply unserious Taylor Swift references, and a genuinely funny look at the chaos of parenting (and being parented).

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Recommended for listeners who want:
NFL analysis, betting strategy, pop culture tangents, real-life hilarity, and a unique blend of irreverence and insight from three comedy/sports veterans.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. Thursday Night Football is on and it's only on Prime. This week, the AFC north takes center stage as the Pittsburgh Steelers battle the Cincinnati Bengals. The AFC north it's been flipping left and right every week. Nobody knows who's in charge of this division. Every game is important. It might only be nine wins to win this division, so every game matters. Everybody's in it. Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with football's best party, the TNF. Tonight presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member? Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. It's the Steelers and Bengals Thursday at 7pm Eastern, only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com amazonprime for details. This episode is brought to you by Quo let's be honest. Traditional phone systems weren't built for today's businesses. Quo, formerly OpenPhone, is the number one business phone system for customer communications. It unifies customer calls, texts and voicemail in one app for real time team collaboration. Quo logs calls, captures, notes and its AI agent answers after hours so you never miss an opportunity. Get started free plus get 20% off your first six months at quo that is Q U O.com bill. They'll even port your existing numbers for free. Quo no missed calls, no missed customers. The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. We are also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network where we have a new episode of the Prestige TV Podcast. Second to last episode of Task. Me and Joanna Robinson broke it down and then she interviewed the showrunner, Brad Inglesby. This was an action packed episode to say the least, so you can watch that on the Ringer TV YouTube channel as well. We have new rewatchables coming for you. On Monday we did Sneakers. We're still doing Robert Redford Month. We had an argument actually whether this is the most popular redford movie in 2025. Not the most popular ever, but right now do the most people like this movie over any other movie. Really fun movie to talk about. It was me and it was Joanna Robinson and Kyle Brandt. So you can get ready for that on Monday night. You can find that on the ring of movies YouTube channel as well. Coming up on this podcast, Cousin Sal and I are going to break down a pretty mundane week six. This was definitely the we're in the doldrums of the season, but there are a lot of fun storylines to talk about. MVP playoffs, Drake May and then we had a special guest for Parent Corner, our cousin Jimmy Kimmel came on to talk about his 8 year old son who is an absolute maniac. We talked about a bunch of stuff with him at the tail end of the podcast. So it is all next. We're going to take a break. We're going to bring a Pearl Jam and then cousin Sal. This is the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. If you're betting on the NFL, come on, FanDuel is the place to do it. They've got everything. Same game parlays, quick bets for when you want to jump in. Live your way so you can set your own lines on just about anything. The app's fast, it's easy to use. The best of all, when you win, you get paid instantly. I've been in Boston, Massachusetts recently. Guess what I did use FanDuel super fun. Download the FanDuel app or go to Fando.com BS to get started. Must be 21 plus President select states, 18 plus in D.C. kentucky and Wyoming. Get promote win 100 gambler. Visit RG-help.com call 888-78-9777 or visit CCPG.org chat in connect. All right, we're recording. It is 8:11 Pacific Time Sunday night. Cousin Sal is here. Worst start to finish day of football we've had. I'm not going to argue. I love football. You get sad. This is right around when you start getting sad about four weeks from now, when you really actually start getting sad.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're like, oh, no. Oh my God, Thanksgiving's coming up. Oh, we're halfway. I'm not going to complain too much, but this was not a good day of football. It really wasn't.

[B]

No, it wasn't. I was almost thinking that now I know the purpose of the London game. Have two quarterbacks that are so bad that it distracts you from the slew of bad quarterbacks in the 1pm games. And it's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sure that, you know, yeah, Dylan Gabriel has negative air yards in the first half, but did you see Knicks against Fields? That was awful. I don't know anymore.

[A]

So it's like when they bring a sorbet taster at a restaurant, but the sorbet tastes like poop.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

After that the food is like, ah, I mean, this is better than that sorbet they gave us. That's it.

[B]

Poop. Sorbet all day long.

[A]

There were a couple highlights. I guess we can talk about Chiefs Lions later. Even though it just happened. Bucks Niners, I think was the story of the day. I don't want to start with my guy Drake. Definitely. I'd rather start with Bucks. Niners. Warner's out for the year. They only brought back three starters from. From last year, and Warner and Bosa were two of them, and both of them are now gone. Warner broke his ankle. It was so bad. They didn't. They came out of the replay and they're like, we're not showing it. Here's. Here's a wide shot. So the Niners are four and two, but they feel like they've become the year from hell team. Even though the Ravens are like, we already locked this up. What are you guys talking about? If you're going to say Niners, Ravens, who's more realistic to be a playoff team? You would obviously say Niners. But is it possible the Ravens will be the playoff team and the Niners would not be the playoff team?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's possible because of these injuries. And, like, we got excited for them. They won that Thursday night game against the Rams, and they were finally, for a week, spared a major injury, and now right back at it. Fred Warner, huge bummer, Great player. Even Juwan Jennings, who was questionable all week, told reporters after the game, I'm playing with five broken ribs and a high and low ankle sprain. It's like, is that the new. Like, is that the 12 Days of Christmas song? Can we do that with 49ers injuries? Like, I don't know. It is. It is a lot.

[A]

Five broken ribs is like, you basically be in traction. Yeah, five broken ribs.

[B]

Well, how many do we have? Do we have eight? How many ribs do we have? 12.

[A]

I. I thought maybe we should probably know this. All right. Six or eight on each side, if anybody knows. Have you ever broken ribs?

[B]

I. I think I fractured a rib and playing football, but that didn't matter. I wasn't starting. So practice.

[A]

I did multiple ribs once, and let me tell you something, not a good time. You would not be wanting to play football. I cracked a rib in 2010, and even then I couldn't do anything for two weeks. So I don't know what Juwan Jennings is going through, what they're shooting with the Baker Mayfield thing, we talked about his MVP stuff. Last week it dropped from 151 to 131 on FanDuel before I even wanted to make it a topic for the pod all the way through. When we're doing the pod now, what is it, like, plus 380?

[B]

I still have plus 380. I feel like we did our job like, our job is to find value in these MVPs. I'm almost sick of talking about it already. Like, he's great. He's probably too good for this award. Like, if I'm Baker Mayfield and I win this award, I'm like, screw it. Mark Mosley won mvp. Give me something different. I want something. But we know how it is. This is. He's going to have to get a top two seed. He's playing better than everybody else.

[A]

Well, they're five and one. They have one of the best records in the league. That's. It's. There's two five and one teams right now. He's plus 430 on fandom. Mahomes is ahead of him at plus 270. And Allen is plus 140.

[B]

Mahomes is ahead of him at what that three and three.

[A]

It must be all about just trying to attract kind of casual football fans, because to me, Mayfield should be like +150 or something at this point. He's been that good. There was an insane draft today. They're up 2019. And house and I, we ended up betting. I didn't. We didn't do it for Ringer. 107. We had the Niners and a parlay with the Chiefs moneyline. Niners plus seven and a half. So we'll come back to that in a second. But they have third and 14 on Mayfield. And he has that crazy play which they showed for the rest of the day, where he gets away from five guys. He's running in, somehow jukes a guy. Everyone falls for these fake football throw quarterback moves when they're nine yards past the line of scrimmage, gets a first down, then same drive, hits a guy who fingertips catches it and then does the rollover and keeps the ball, which I think happens twice a year. And they're up 8 and that was it. We lost by a half point. But he's just. I'm tired of betting against himself.

[B]

No, you're right. We're stupid. And there's always that play. The one you talked about was third and 14, where you could see like, he's starting to get an erection. I look at the bottom half of these guys, so you could tell, like. But he's like, I'm going to. He plans one of these games like, I'm going to scramble. I'm going to. Going to break three different tackles on all different parts of the field and I'm going to lunge for the first down flag. And I'm just Going to make it. And it's just dynamite. Just dynamite. And after watching terrible quarterback play all day, like that makes it worth it for me.

[A]

Well, the irony of that happening after we watched poor Dylan Gabriel in Pittsburgh, who, you know, the more you watch him, I'm not sure what the above average skill is. Right. No. Height, wouldn't say he's fast. I guess he's a little accurate on short passes, but that's about it. But you think like all the bit there was that stat this week about what, are they paying eight guys to play quarterback? Yeah. Right. Even though they only still have three and they let Mayfield go. Since I've known you, the only two QBs who have been resurrected were him and Carson Palmer. Right. Is there anybody else where there was.

[B]

Like Dylan Gabriel and Carson Palmer?

[A]

No. Baker and Carson Palmer, where it was like we'd given up on them as guys who could potentially be on a contender, much less like a decent starting quarterback. Carson Palmer on that Raiders run, it was like, this guy's career's over. Then he went to Arizona and got rejuvenated. But the Baker thing is much crazier. I think. We both bet against. Didn't we both bet against him when he had the Rams drive, when they picked him up on like.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The Thursday night, Christmas week? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And I felt like I've been losing money to him for five years, but I can't think of any other resurrections.

[B]

The other one's. Kurt Warner is the only one that we didn't know each other. We didn't. Yeah, yeah, we didn't. We refused to speak during those times, but that was it. I think there's no other career arc for a quarterback like Baker's.

[A]

Well, if you were like. If we were like the rich owner of some team and we needed a quarterback, at some point, you're bringing in. If you still have the same front office, you're bringing those guys in and you're like, what the fuck did we miss with Baker Mayfield? Like, he was. Carolina waved him. And then if you're. If you're Tepper, the Carolina owner, he's gotta be like, I had Matt Rule, I had Baker Mayfield, I had Christian McCaffrey. Like, why did we just throw away the last couple years? Like, we actually had the nucleus. So I don't know, he gained his. He got his mojo back. And I don't know how it happened in everyone's defense.

[B]

I mean, there's no defending it, but when this contract came up for those teams, the Panthers and the Browns, he was dealing with injuries. But I feel like out of all the embarrassing things the Browns have gone through is this top three is, Is.

[A]

Signing Watson, trade Watson trades one.

[B]

The Watson trade is combining worse than Baker, letting Baker go. I guess it's the same thing, right? One wouldn't have one after the other.

[A]

I mean, the case for it was like, this guy's never going to be the same. It's almost more like a, A Drew Breeze thing.

[B]

I know, but this guy's damage goods. Yeah, I know it. I know it. Yeah, he's great. I, like I said, I'm.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

Although, now that Mahomes is ahead of him, I think we have to talk him up even more. This is ridiculous.

[A]

Well, the thing is, he was really bad on Carolina. It's not like nobody was like, what are they doing? They waved Baker Mayfield like he was bad. And then Darnold replaced them, and they actually played better with Darnold.

[B]

I don't get it.

[A]

I mean, it's like in a sports movie, this would happen where somebody's great. Or in Baker's case, very good on the Browns, like, it took him around 2. He had a great college career. Does the dip. It's like the days of Thunder, Tom Cruise, like, you know, you're in the hospital bed. I don't know if I can race again.

[B]

It's like one of those, I don't.

[A]

Know if I can QB again. And he's got some, some girl like Baker, you've got to come back. And he gives some speech on a balcony like, Brad Pitt, F1. And now he's back, and now he's like, NFC. Like, is there a team? I know they've had a bunch of injuries, but all the injuries, all the people are coming back, which is different than the Niner situation.

[B]

He's got everyone coming back, Bill. Lions have everyone coming back. Everyone's coming back. No, I'm with you. I, you know, I almost think the, I don't know, like, if you go to Carolina or the Browns, like, that should be treated as your, like, middle school years. Like, oh, yeah, I, I, he had acne and, you know, he had braces.

[A]

Parents got divorced.

[B]

Yeah, his voice was cracking. You can't count those years. Look, look at what he did as a junior in high school. So I think that's uncle went to jail.

[A]

Well, their schedule is about to get tough, right? So they're, yeah, they're five and one right now, but they had the Lions on a Monday night next week. They're at New Orleans. That's the next two bye week. Home Pats at Bills at Rams. So this is. We marked down. We said that when we looked at this before the season that we thought they were going to start out fast and then this would be the stretch when we found out what we had. The problem for them is the stretch is coming when Igbuka is now out, at least for a couple weeks. Yeah. Evans, who knows with him. Godwin came back and got hurt again. McMillan's still out. Bucky Irving's out at least another week. So they might not have. I mean next week they might be down all of their best weapons, but they had.

[B]

And yet I wouldn't bet against Baker out today. And you just, you can't keep them under 30 points is the thing. At least like the last three weeks. Right. Or four weeks now. Right. 29 against the jets. All right. 25 against the Eagles. 38 and 30 this week. And really without flinching. They didn't even need to score in the fourth quarter and they could have.

[A]

Yeah. What was the final score today?

[B]

30, 19.

[A]

Unbelievable. So they're, I mean they're basically. And you look at that, that week two, that was the game when it seems like the, when it seemed like the Texans had them beat on a Monday night. Right. And then he went right down the field and got them. But they, their offense was pretty inept that whole game. So when they get Evans back with Godwin and McMillan, I assume comes back at some point and then Igbuko will be healthy and you have Bucky Irving, that's. That has a chance to be the best offense.

[B]

Yeah, that's gross. I think that's gross. Yeah, that's pretty ridiculous because it doesn't seem like. Because they're also down linemen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We don't even talk about the offensive line. But going into every week it's like, well, they're down two starters and who, who knows with the Worfs or what's going to happen. That doesn't ever seem to matter. The way he scrambles. It's kind of like Barry Sanders as a quarterback. Like Sanders, like didn't follow his blocks and would have like 70 yard runs.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, I don't know, is this going to take him to the Super Bowl?

[A]

They had a left guard leave the game today against the Niners and they said it was the third string left guard that was leaving. And, and the announcers were like, I don't even know who the four string. We'll see who they bring in what's interesting is they have the fifth best odds on FanDuel right now. They're eight to one now. I think the injuries and the schedule that they have coming up are factored into that, but I haven't liked how the packers have looked at all, like, at all. Detroit we saw today like they've had some bad luck with the defensive injuries that'll come back. I'm not. I'm not willing to write them off or get excited about them. It's too early. Eagles is the wild card, and we haven't done. I haven't done any pots since Thursday night. Yeah, I just don't think Jalen Carter should mean that much where you just look like complete shit on both sides of the ball. Like, I know, I know he's good, but they got manhandled in that game and the offense looked awful. And it's a. It's a. The hurts thing is just really strange, like, the, the lack of pace that they have, like, especially when they fall behind. He doesn't seem like he changes his demeanor at all. There's no urgency. Everybody seems unhappy. I don't understand it. I don't understand what's wrong with them. And I think I've watched like 80% of their plays this year.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I bet him every week. So I got off to a very, very slow start. Thursday, then Friday, then Saturday, then today. But, yeah, I mean, this is an athlete, one of the great athletes, right? He squats £600, whatever he does, and he can't get it together. He can't get this offensive flow. His wide receivers pretty much hate him. And, and, And. I don't know. Was. Was Barkley. Was that just a weird thing last year that isn't going to happen again? That's what I'm worried thinking about. Like, is that going to make a comeback?

[A]

Yeah. Their offensive line certainly isn't the same. They won the super bowl last year, so we always forget to completely factor that in, even though it's always factored in with the odds and the discourse. But it is a. You know, when you haven't done anything versus when you just did it, it's a little different. But I think it's the lack of. They're like a basketball team that only runs kind of one play over and over and over again. Right. And even if the other team figures it out, it's like, well, I guess we're going to do the exact same thing again, and maybe they won't figure it out this time.

[B]

And by the way they might have killed their hopes of renewing the Tush push by running it four times in a row. I think that might be enough for the owners to like.

[C]

All right.

[B]

We don't have to wait around for someone to get injured. This is ridiculous to watch.

[A]

People are horrified by this. Green Bay being the favorite at +3.60. Yeah. I guess somebody has to be the favorite, but I don't know. I look at that list and I don't really like any of the teams. And the Niners, by the way, have the six best odds at 10 to 1. But what's interesting is Seahawks. The Seattle Seahawks are 8 to 1. I'm sorry, that had the eighth best odds. They're 16 to 1. Yeah. And I would. I honestly like them as much as any of those other teams just because they. I think somebody's got to come out of that NFC West. Somebody's going to be a two or three seed. They've stayed healthy. I kind of like their defense when their defense is actually healthy. They have some playmakers, quarterbacks playing pretty well. They're winning on the road. I thought the win today was really good.

[B]

But they don't lose.

[A]

I like the way they're playing as much as anybody.

[B]

Yeah. When on the road. That's what you want in a playoff team. Right. Like, I just think the quarterback is still not trusted.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If you look at every team ahead of them except for San Francisco, you would probably take that quarterback. But to your larger point, should there be four teams ahead of Tampa Bay? I say no way. In the nfc. Maybe two.

[A]

The other thing with San Francisco, and you can hide behind all the injury stuff, and they've certainly had some terrible ones. Not to mention, Kittles played one game. Right. You know, they've had Mac Jones playing on one leg for the last couple weeks, but they can't block.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know if that's like, oh, and all those injuries they've had on the offensive line. It's. It's more like, yeah, Trent Williams got old. That guy used to be the last best left tackle in the league. And I don't think. I don't think they have a dominant line.

[B]

Numbers aren't great anymore.

[A]

But I thought Mack. There was a moment in that second half when all of a sudden it looked like Mack was on the 20, 23 Pats again where he was just. He was just going backwards and there was five guys there. And that's when he's at his worst. He had no time to do anything So I know they're 4 and 2, but to me, it feels a little like when Cincinnati was two and oh, and neither of us. Both of us were like, oh, this is going. Arrow pointing down. I don't see it with the Niners. I think too much has happened. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, we looked at all these teams, but they're getting these guys back. Detroit's getting defenders back. Tampa's getting guys back. You don't know that for San Francisco just seems to lose one key player every week.

[A]

Yeah, they got the Falcons at home. Week seven. That's a Sunday night game. Then they go at Texans, at Giants. And that's pretty tough when you have all the injuries on top of the fact that you've. You've had trouble blocking people and now you're going Texans, Giants back to back. Right, right. Does the Giants have the best pass rush in the league? And I think the Texans are probably in the top four or five. So I, you know, I was looking at the, the odds for the NFC west, and I think they're still favored. Yeah, they're plus 135. The Rams are plus 160. And the Seahawks, I haven't gotten it for five, six straight weeks. I still don't get it. The Seahawks are plus 290. And I don't understand that at all. To me, it's like those three teams have to be neck and neck. I would not put any of them over anybody right now.

[B]

No doubt.

[A]

Do you understand that?

[B]

No. It was four to one last week. I think it was eight to one the week before. And we were talking about this then, so, yeah, I think they're the most balanced, if you trust Sam Darnold. They're kind of the most balanced team with a good enough coach, I think, to get it done.

[A]

And they have. I would say JSN is now a top three or four or five somewhere in their receiver. Now that Puka finally got hurt, which was unfortunately, like you could only throw to a guy 15 times a game.

[B]

Can I tell you something about JSN? I don't know if you saw this 21.11 mph on his touchdown reception.

[A]

Oh, really? I thought that was like a 20.9 when I watched it live. Yeah, I watched football with House today and we were like just watching it blind.

[B]

20.9.

[A]

I was like, yeah, that seemed like a 20.9, 21.1.

[B]

Oh, no, watch it again. That's a 21. Maybe 21.

[A]

Time that correctly.

[B]

211 5, I would think.

[A]

Wow. 21 1.

[B]

21, 1 1. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Just think, if he had gone a mile an hour faster, he would have been going 22.

[B]

Wait a minute. Okay.

[A]

I'm gonna go get coffee tomorrow and go 22 miles an hour and see how many people beep at me.

[B]

Do you think this is something? It's what was like, should they have, like, the sperm count for the receivers, too? Like, might as well just make up numbers.

[A]

Let's do blood pressure. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, let's do it.

[A]

I think I'd be more interested in that. What was his blood pressure as he. As he ran down? Maybe that would explain what happened to DeMarcado. He blacked out.

[B]

His good cholesterol is actually low, so we're. All right.

[A]

I had a thing I wanted to bring up with you because, you know, the Mariners are doing really well. They won tonight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's, like, a kind of a Seattle moment happening. Even the WNBA team got a little frisky in the playoffs. And then the Seahawks doing well. And I do believe in the. The. The city cluster theory because it's happening now with Indiana. This is what made me think of it. The Pacers had their whole, like, crazy, crazy, improbable run. Right. Right now, the college football team and the pro football team are both on these crazy runs. And Everybody's thanking Pat McAfee. He's, like, at the center of it.

[B]

How does he do.

[A]

Happened in Boston when the. In 2002, when the Pats, when they won the first super bowl with Brady.

[B]

Happened a few times.

[A]

And then the Celtics, that in the playoffs that year, had this improbable run, and the mindset shifted. It was when they came back and they almost made the Finals. They came back from 25 to beat the Nets in Game 3, which was just on NBA TV recently. And I wrote a column about being at that game. And the Boston fans were so beaten down, but the Pats thing kind of swung the perspective. And then the Celtics were doing well, and it was like, maybe we can come back. And it was like. It was like a mood cleansing. And I wonder sometimes if that happens with cities, but I was thinking about that with Seattle. This is one of the dumbest theories I'll ever have, but the further the Mariners go, I also think it's good for the Seahawks. There's just good vibes and happiness everywhere in Seattle, and maybe it'll transfer.

[B]

Okay. I mean, I don't know.

[A]

Stupid theory.

[B]

We should ask fanduel if good vibes and happiness figure into any of these lines.

[A]

But good vibes theory, well, we go.

[B]

We do it the other way, right? Like New York sucks. They had a bad week. Philly had a bad week last week. Now kind of Detroit's there too, right? School and Tigers lose game.

[A]

You get like the, you get the stink.

[B]

Lions lost this week. Who's the other Detroit? There's another Detroit? What happened? Yeah, am I missing something? Oh, Michigan lost the U.S. michigan.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had that in 07 when, when the, the KG trade happened. The Red Sox won the World Series and right as the Patriots spygate. We were ripping off that whole thing. And the Celtics were going for like 70 wins and it was just sometimes it happens where the city where good stuff aligns and then like you just said like the opposite happens. Where you just feel like, oh my God, every single thing is going wrong anyway. Stupid theory. Let's move to the KC game really quick. So this line stayed at two and a half. Yeah. And apparently a lot of the sharps were on the lines. I didn't understand why anybody thought the Chiefs were going to go 2 and 4. It was like 90% of my reasoning for the Chiefs. It's like they're going to go two and four. Like they're, it's not like they're that banged up. Right. They didn't. Their left tackle got scratched pretty late. I don't know. We don't know what happened with that. But that their blocking was fine. But they should have won last Monday. That was one of the dumb. That was one of the three dumbest losses of the season. And I thought with all the Detroit defense injuries, I thought that line was disrespectful. I didn't understand it. Did you understand it? Yeah.

[B]

You called it. I don't know. I, I thought it, I thought it was about right. But I hold a grudge and I was still so mad at him for Monday night. I actually didn't think they played that great Monday night. I know the pick. Six, 14, nothing. But then why don't they swing the game like they're up 14 and they. And then they end up with like they still have 14 late in the third quarter. Like this is the, the Chiefs. And then I don't know. It's all. If you depend. If you believe that now they're not the one score team, winning team. Right. Like they were 10 and oh last year and one score games this year. I think they were owing three tonight wasn't one score.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I don't know. Yeah. I mean good. Good for you. If you took it. But I just. I don't know. I didn't buy into the Detroit secondary thing. And I know a lot of Detroit fans want to blame that illegal shift call or whatever when, you know, golf wasn't lined up right in the first drive. But they did get beat up today.

[A]

Well, the reality. How many points did they end up scoring? They had nothing. 17. Yeah. They're vaunted offense. What do you think a team's record is when either a running back fumbles as he's about to go in the end zone or a quarterback throws a 99 yard interception or a guy fumbles it when he's about to go over the goal line or the fumble where it goes out of the end zone, it's a safety for the other team. Has any NFL team in the history of the league ever then won the game?

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

I'm going to say they're like, oh, and 1200.

[B]

It's impossible. It's impossible to do that. Yeah. And there's so many close calls, but yeah. So that 99. And even for them to win, Lawrence had to like fall down, roll over, keep rolling, stumble again.

[A]

And then they almost won.

[B]

Anyway, that's what the Chiefs do to teams.

[A]

Yeah. House and I made a lot of jokes during the game about Travis Kelce. Cause it's a little bit of a deep cut on the Taylor Swift album. But it was a very controversial song on the album called Wood, which people thought was about Travis Kelce's healthy manhood and satisfying her and how she finally has. She's finally. The sex thing has finally really worked out for her. And if you go back and look at all her boyfriends, maybe this is a different type of guy she's dating. So we were just calling him Wood whole game. And it was very enjoyable. It's like Mahomes get it to Wood. Like this clearly should be his nickname. She wrote this whole gushing love song about his sexual prowess. Like he should just be Travis Wood. Kelsey.

[B]

Yeah. Look at Woody over there.

[C]

Wood.

[A]

Wood. Come on. I mean, that's why you see why Taylor's smiling. Wood's just getting it done.

[B]

I like it. I like it. You think it'll catch up. It's not a negative thing, right?

[A]

It's positive.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's praising him. It's like when we did the Pete Davidson, the big dick energy or what was it? Yeah, all that stuff I saw.

[B]

We went to football camp and I ended up seeing our offensive lineman in the shower and he had a gigantic schlong and then I told everyone and they ended up calling him Tripod and he hated me for it. He wanted to kick my ass every day for I was like, what the fuck? It's a great nickname. Like a big point. He's got a big dick. Come on. Come on, Wood.

[A]

Try it as a compliment.

[B]

Of course it is. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Well, on that note, we're going to take a break and we're going to come back and talk about the rest of the week. Six slates.

[B]

That's sponsored. There are so many ways to save on cozy fall meals at Whole Foods Market.

[A]

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[B]

Team.

[A]

In a little bit of flux. And then Jayson Tatum posted like a minute of him working out and looking really good. And it broke my brain because for the first time I was like, wow, he might actually be back in the second half of the season. What's that gonna mean? Whatever happens when I'm watching all that unfold, I'm doing with the Michelob Ultra in hand. Superior light beer. Just 95 calories. There are a lot of moments worth playing for, but the ones that taste the best are served cold. Order Michelob Ultra and fill up your fridge as we gear up for NBA season. Cannot Wait. Enjoy. Responsibly Copyright 2025 Anheuser Busch Michelob Ultra Light Beer St. Louis, MO all right, you want to talk about your team first or my team first?

[B]

Let's get mine out of the way.

[A]

Okay. You lost to the Carolina Panthers.

[B]

They did it again. They dragged me in. They dragged me in. I loved it. I was like, just win this game. Half game behind the Eagles. We have a home game against.

[A]

You were thinking that way.

[B]

Damn it. Why did I do that? Why didn't you tell. You should have told me. You should have reminded me.

[A]

You were doing that on the Sunday pregame show. I thought it was a bit.

[B]

No, you.

[A]

You really were sucked in.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, he's playing great.

[A]

I was like, he really is.

[B]

This is a, in a way, a Baker Mayfield thing. Like, the last three weeks, stack has, I think, 11 touchdowns, one interception over 800 yards, and the defense allowed, I think, 90 points, like. And I'm like, shit, he could carry them. And he almost did. Just despicable.

[A]

Though we were talking today watching the game. It's not just that he's playing great. Like, every throw is perfect. Yeah, every throw is like, the guy's in stride, running with it. It's right here. It's on the sideline in the only spot where the guy can catch it. Like, he's really playing out of his mind. And Pickens has been phenomenal, too. Great. I mean, like, I know people see the highlights on social media, but.

[C]

In.

[A]

The open space, you just feel like he's going to get an 80 yard touchdown every time. The irony of them getting their asses kicked by Rico Dowdle, I thought was unbelievable when all everybody did last year was complain about the Cowboys running backs. And then they have this guy who looks like, you know, he's playing like his family's being kept in a log cabin. And unless he gets 200 yards, everybody's going to die at midnight. Like, that's how crazy he was running.

[B]

And he called him out before, he's like, I'm going to do this. This is my. The Rico Daddle revenge games. Like, okay, is it that easy to exact revenge on the Cowboys? Like, you could just say it and then you're good for 160. Yeah. Like, could anyone. He was like the woman that works concession stand the Cowboys stadium. Can she. They. They ripped her off for overtime. She's going to run for 160. Like, I'm sorry, Rico, we moved on from you and your two rushing touchdowns last year, but Jesus, I don't remember.

[A]

A single Rico Dowdo conversation. I don't remember him being on a fantasy team. I don't remember you being like, man, we let Rico Dowdo go, I think he's going to come back to haunt us. There was no conversation, so I don't know what happened to him this year. It's a borderline free dak, though. Like this, this. He's got this terrible defense. All these injuries on the offensive line and it's. It's very similar to that Burrow Higgins Chase situation.

[B]

He's not taking too many backs. It's not the, it's not that. That bad the offensive line, but yeah, that as long as the defensive come back bad is. I mean, probably a couple weeks. They're still, they're saying, I think it's still two weeks. But I mean, Pickens as a one is really not bad. It's crazy.

[A]

No, it's funny that you did the Parsons trade, which. It's not like he's coming back to haunt you that much either, but why.

[B]

No one's talking about that, by the way. Yeah, he's not that good. I know the idea is that Jerry has to lose everything, but I don't know. He's not even top 50 in sacks. He's sixth in tackles for losses on his team, so I'll tell you that much. No, no. You would think back injections, a stationary Joe Flacco would be a good place to shine, but didn't happen.

[A]

Well, and then the Pickens trade was. Would you give up for him a third?

[B]

Was it a third? Yeah, I think it was three. Yeah, it's a three or four.

[A]

Yeah, three.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

That trade was incredible.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Carolina. So McMillan had a breakout day. That was the other thing that happened. They got two running backs. They could actually probably shop Hubbard if they wanted to, if they felt like Dowdo was. And there's a few teams that need a running back, including my team. But Carolina, three and three. This is the furthest they've made it a while. Where. Because we're going to do cross off teams later. Hmm. Not crossing them off. I can't cross them off. They have a chance to be a seven seed. Yeah, they're not bad.

[B]

They.

[A]

They're three and ow at home.

[B]

Let's wait till they get to six and three and then we'll cross them off. Bryce Young just killed us. He had like, he has like 160 pass rating against when he's losing to the Cowboys. It's ridiculous.

[A]

He's very calm. Well, my team the worst Officiated game. I can remember of a Patriots game, just five or six calls that we still don't know where the flag came from. They had a touchdown called back. They're kicking the extra point and they're like, no, no, there's a flag. There was no flag in the field. Nobody knows what happened with that. There was an offensive pass interference that nobody understands what happened with that. There was a fumble that we recovered that they decided it wasn't a fumble and nobody could. I've just never seen anything like it. And at some point you're like, well, if they were ever going to have a rigged NFL game, I think I'm watching it. If there were ever like three officials who said, fuck it, we're in New Orleans. Gambling's legal here. Let's go for Was that bad? And the Pats. And the Pats. They won anyway. And they won because Drake May was out of his mind. He was so fucking good. Sal, just give me the Drake. Definitely. It's over, you've lost. How about Drake? He's Drake definitely for now.

[B]

Drake May be. Plus how about that?

[A]

Drake May was the best court, the best quarterback performance of the day other than maybe your guy. But at least Drake May won today. The stat has been around a bunch of times. The 23 under quarterbacks to throw for 200 more passing yards with a hundred passer, 100 plus passer rating in five straight games. Him, Mahomes and Dan Marino. He's hit on eight straight 20 plus passes, not counting the two that got called back on penalties. When he's throwing deep, which was his thing coming out of the draft for everybody's like this guy, this guy loves the big plays. He's a big play Hunter, he loves throwing deep. He's great at it. And The Pats are 5 and 2, I'm sorry, 4 and 2 with the Titans and Browns as their next two. And Drake May is down to 161 for MVP.

[B]

Well, he can't win MVP, so just stop.

[A]

He's 16 to 1.

[B]

This is when people. I don't want you people stop listening to you if you say things like this. He's not going to win MVP.

[A]

I am just pointing out he's 16 to 1 and win the MVP.

[B]

Well, I don't know if you read.

[A]

The fine print, but six best odds.

[B]

If you lose to the Raiders, you're not eligible for mvp. So it's Drake May and it's Cam Ward, the only two that can't win the mvp.

[A]

That's fair right now. So that's fair.

[B]

No, he's been great. He's been great. He makes amazing third down, throws down the field, wherever he has to hit it. He extends, drives. Great, great, great. I agree with you with everything. I even. I even had the Saints plus three and a half, and I'm like, you know what? This is officiated so poorly. I won't be able to take Simmons crying like this. I now hope New England wins the game, and they did.

[A]

You had to turn on your own bet.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Our running backs were so bad in this game. That and the play calling to the two running backs, Stevenson and Reminder. I don't know what happened to both of them. 22 for 45. Every time. It was like third and eight, third and 13, third and 11, third and nine. And the Pats were somehow six for 13 on third down. But Drake was just. I can't believe how good he was. The last two games, it's a completely different ceiling. Like, it's all the past fans are talking about. Like, it's like we have a guy like. Like, this is it. It's happening. So with this easy schedule, I just feel like, you know, you feel like.

[B]

He'S doing well on this easy schedule. Sure. Yeah.

[A]

I feel like we're in a good spot with this guy.

[B]

All right, you are. You definitely are. And listen, coming into the year, we thought at worst that we're going to get the seventh seed, and now there's nothing to shake us from that.

[A]

Right. Like four and two. So what's that? The rest of the way they'd have to go 6 and 6 and 4.

[B]

Well, it doesn't even matter. Like 6 and 5.

[A]

6 and 5. 6 and 5 gets them in the playoffs. They play six shitty teams, but, yeah, I mean, they still have the. They still have the jets in Miami, I think both of them again.

[B]

But when we did this in August, we thought the Ravens were in. We thought the Bengals were in. Those teams are not in now. So you're not going to say you're going to sneak in because you're going to have 10 wins anyway. But, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then the AFC south, like the way the Jaguars look today, because you would have said, oh, we'll have Indian Jacksonville. But Jacksonville, I thought, looked terrible. I know they had some injuries, but. And they shouldn't have won last week, so they're, I would say, a pretty soft foreign, too. And then it looks like we're. We're 100% only getting one AFC north team unless there's some Sort of miraculous ball.

[B]

Well, and I don't know if you saw those division odds, but it finally flipped to Pittsburgh being a favorite of -135 because now they're three and a half up on Baltimore. And I know it gets dicey for them in November. The games are tough, but three and a half is a very big lead for a team that doesn't have their starting quarterback yet.

[A]

Well, the Ravens got killed by the Rams and you know, here are the stats. So since we had the 14 team playoff format, only 2020 Washington started one and five and made the playoffs before that, one in five was a death sentence. We only had the 2012 Redskins, 2018 Colts and 2015 Chiefs, the only three that made it coming out of one in five. So if you're gonna make the case for them, the defense got a little healthier. They have a bye week next week. Their next six are Bears at Miami at Vikings at Cleveland. Three in a row on the road. Home jets, home Cincy. And I think they're going to be favored in five of those. If Lamar is playing. Right. They'll be favored in all those and maybe even favored in the Vikings game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So there's a chance they go five and I would say five and one. If you're a Ravens fan, that's what you're hoping for. And 5 and 1 puts you at 5 and 6 heading into the stretch of the season. You get to play Pittsburgh twice. Still, God only knows what's going to happen with Rogers. So it's weird. They're one in five, but it doesn't feel over. But man, they, they suck today. And I thought they were poorly coached.

[B]

Listen, we, we can make him a cross off if you want. We could do it right now. I can't do it.

[A]

Lamar, he's won like 80% of his games.

[B]

I think the wild card's out though because they're 1 in 5. They're going to have. Even if they're 10 and 7, they're going to lose a lot of tiebreakers here. I think that the way to get in is nine and eight head to head. They beat the Steelers. Yes. Nine to eight and they win those. Obviously when those two heads both Pittsburgh.

[A]

Games, you're saying yes, definitely.

[B]

Yeah, but that's tough.

[A]

That's not even 4 and 1. So the Steelers would have to go 5 and 6 the rest of the way basically and lose both of the Baltimore games. Right. But this is like you bring up those division odds. I just think -1:35 is, I think Pittsburgh should be like at least a 2 to 1 favorite.

[B]

Yeah, I thought they should be minus last week before even gaining another game. I thought they should be favored because they're kind of doing everything right. And by the way, they. You know, I think we've been at this too long because that was such a gimme from the gambling gods. The Steelers, I saw it as a rat line, but still was five and a half. Why the hell weren't we all over that?

[A]

I mean, the Browns do with the Browns defense against. Against how simple that Steelers offense is. I thought there was a real scenario where the Browns defense just won the game. They can do anything on offense.

[B]

They came from London. They opted to skip the buy after London. The Steelers are on a off a buy. Tomlin doesn't really lose too much off a buy.

[C]

Right.

[B]

You know, you have Dylan Gabriel going in there and we. We whiffed on it. Stupid.

[A]

Well, speaking of London Broncos, jets, what a way to start the morning. Yet another horrible London game. And I felt like the Broncos were about to win by 30. Bo Nixon is running for a first down. They have the lead.

[B]

He.

[A]

There's not even guys around him. He slides, but he slides before the first down marker, which I think is in my top four least favorite plays in football, with number one obviously being the punter that kicks it into the end zone because the special teams guy knocked the ball into the end zone. That's my least favorite. But he did this slide and he's just short and you're like, oh, here we go. And then delay a game penalty or whatever. Now it's. And then all of a sudden they're going backwards and the jets are just hanging around and they end up barely winning 13 11. But I felt like they were going on a run. It seemed like they were going to go win by 30. Their defense gives up 95 yards total, 100 yards total. Whatever it was, jets do nothing and the Broncos almost lose. And this is like betting on or against Bo Nix. I just don't know what the answer is anymore.

[B]

Well, the answer for me is I can't have a lot of money riding on the London game when we're also doing the pregame show because I just get too angry and too distracted. It's like showing up to work, tripping your face off on Molly. And I was like, I can't. I don't even care what these guys are saying. I have to. What is going on with this game? Why isn't Denver winning? And then you're. You're Right. Like Justin Fields. They. He's the first quarterback to have nine more sacks and nine or fewer completions since. You want to guess since who it was?

[A]

Justin Fields.

[B]

Justin Fields in 20, 21. This is so sickening. The jets had two first downs in the first half. The one of them was on a. Was on a fake punt, right? 4th and 1 when they went for it. They're celebrating it. I've never seen a team losing, celebrating, converting 4th and 1 only to run the clock out. But they were losing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That was bizarre to me. I didn't know what I was watching.

[A]

And Aaron Glenn is on the sidelines. He's acting like he's a disgruntled fan that's in the stands that flew to London. And it's like, you're actually the coach. You can. You could fix any of this. He's just like, I don't know what we're doing. It's like, you're the coach. This is your team.

[B]

He is. And he really went. And you know, he has Mark Sanchez third on the depth chart right now. I mean, things are really bad in Gotham. Really, really bad. But what. Honestly, though, when does England get pissed at us?

[A]

Like, I think it would happen three years ago.

[B]

Way worse than dumping tea in the Boston harbor or whatever the hell. Like, if they did this to us and sent a club soccer team over here who kept batting the soccer ball around with their hands, and we're charging 200 bucks to see it.

[A]

The striker has one leg.

[B]

I think we'd be pissed. It's not an act of war, but it's pretty bad.

[A]

Yeah. No, it is. Like, if we. If we put Nathan Fielder in charge of our experience of sending football to London, this is what he would do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What if we send Justin Fields? He has eight completions in three hours.

[B]

Is this a rehearsal? Is this whole thing a rehearsal episode? Wow.

[A]

So bad. Might be. Yeah. Yeah. I. So now people are like, should they bench Fields? He's just not accurate. It's not going to change. He's been in the league like that. There were multiple plays when Garrett Wilson was open. And then he's just straining to catch these things that just. Normal quarterbacks just complete the thing. If you take out his running, he can't really do anything.

[B]

These are unworldly stats. Negative 10 yards passing net. I mean, you can't. You can't see that.

[A]

I'm sure he's a nice guy. He just. We've. We've seen enough at this point.

[B]

Great guy.

[A]

We've seen Enough. Somebody I thought we saw enough of, but obviously. Obviously I didn't see enough of, even though I thought I did, was Jacoby Brissette, who, when he was the guy blocking Drake May for a few games, just seemed like he had been washed up three years ago. He comes in for the Cards today and immediately Kyler can't play. He gets scratched. And this is like, this is a godsend. Who can I tease the Colts with? What Moneyline Parlay can I put the Colts with? This is amazing. What a stroke of luck to get Jacoby Brissett. He goes 27 for 44 for 320. They're 9 for 14 on third down, and they're just hanging the whole game to the point where House and I are going, you gotta be fucking kidding me. The Cardinals are gonna win this Every time you think they're about to roll over. They had another drive and they finally lose by four. They were on their third string running backs. Harrison left with a concussion in the second quarter. None of it mattered. They kept driving. And first of all, kudos to him. Second, I think the Colts defense has to go on fraud. Watch. Yeah, that's it. Like, Denver was moving up and down on them. Brissette was moving up and down on them. And I know they have the record, but with their weapons, I like Warren, I like Jonathan Taylor. Dimes is fine. They have some receivers who can make plays, but their defense is not good enough, I don't think.

[B]

No, I think you're right. Maybe cut him some slack. How much can you get up for a game like this? You know, Arizona coming to town with the second string, everything. But it's still very weird to me that they have the best record in the AFC right now. Right. Like, and. And weird shit's happened. Like before the game, guy goes out with a concussion, like a deep back. Anthony Richardson, not that he was playing, but he had like a. I read that he had a band injury. I was like, what the hell is this? Now you get hit in the head with a. A tuba coming out of the marching band. Yeah, yeah. No, but it was actually those band. I've done that a million times. So now he's got. But this is something that happens to like a 2 and 9 team, right? Not a team that's. I mean, what. What are their odds? Minus 1, 30 to win the division. They're going to be around there in January, I think.

[A]

Well, let's go backwards. They killed the Dolphins in week one. Yeah. Not impressive. Now they barely beat the Broncos in the Game, the leverage game that they should have lost. They kill the Titans, they lose to the Rams, they kill the Raiders and they barely beat Brissette. Those are their six games. Okay, so we've been down this road before with teams and what was that year a couple years ago with Minnesota when they were like 13 and 4 and we were like, I can't wait to bet against this team in the playoffs. I'm not sure I would say that yet with the Colts because they can move the ball.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, and they, I think at, you know, they've gone 33, 29, 41, 2040 and 31 in these six games. So they're always going to have the offense, which is a little different than some teams. But schedule's gonna get harder here as we get to the week nine range. They're gonna be. Well, they are. They're at Chargers next week, although the Chargers are pretty banged up. But they still have at Steelers, at Chiefs, at Jags, at Seahawks, at Texans.

[B]

It's tough.

[A]

All left and they're playing the Falcons in Berlin. So we're.

[B]

I'll back off a little.

[A]

Not ready. We're not ready to know with this team. I don't think yet.

[B]

Yeah, but we know what the Titans. We know not confident with the Texans and I don't know the Jaguars are. The Jaguars. You know, they came into this game 4:14 force turnovers. I mean you just know that's not going to continue. They're not going to have 60 by the end of the year. Right.

[A]

Yeah. It's. What's interesting about Houston is their schedule is just a lot tougher in general.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where you know, because they're playing the first place schedule from last year and you go through their games and like they have a Raiders game, they have an at Titans game and that's really it. Like every other game is either pretty hard hard or like really hard. So yeah, it's sitting there for the Colts, but I'm still a little dubious. I just don't think they can get stops. I thought they were over and over again Arizona had a running back that. Who is that guy? Knight.

[B]

Yeah, Knight.

[A]

Do you know who that was? It was like their third straight.

[B]

Suge Knight. It's not cheap.

[A]

There he goes. Oh, I forgot to mention with Steeler Browns, 11 straight games of 17 points or less for Cleveland. Do you see that stat?

[B]

Is that what it is? No, I didn't see that.

[A]

11.

[B]

What a streak against the Steelers.

[A]

Against anyone.

[B]

Oh really? Oh, wow. Currently, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's a Problem?

[B]

Why didn't we have that? Damn it. I mean, they had lost 23 straight in three rivers, Zacky Shore with Hines Field, whatever the hell you want to call it.

[A]

Ravens, Rams. One other thing I forgot to mention. Should the Ravens trade Derek Henry and just say, fuck it, it's not our year.

[B]

I think they maybe should have traded him after they went 0 for 4 from the 4 inch line. Right. And he got the last. Last shot at it. Interesting.

[A]

Can I start the rumor of Derek Henry to the Patriots?

[B]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Start the cup.

[A]

Great. Thanks.

[B]

But they can't leave. They won't give up on. They'll give up on Lamar before they do Henry. I mean, not trade Lamar, but what.

[A]

Pick would get their attention? Oh, man, like our second.

[B]

I wonder if he wants it.

[A]

What if our second and Ramandre.

[B]

Ramondre get caught?

[A]

Yeah, they gotta take Ramandre.

[B]

You do. Well, they need a running back. That's a fantasy trade right there.

[A]

You know who used to work together? Derek Henry and Mike Vrabel.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We used to have a really great relationship once.

[B]

By the time you don't need a running back, you got the greatest quarterback of all time, you're going to be.

[A]

Our running backs are 22 and 45 today. We need a running back.

[B]

We?

[A]

Our short yardage stuff is a disaster. You know, it's like America, if we get a yard.

[B]

Brady dealt with that for years. And you brought no shortage of rings.

[A]

When's the NFL trade deadline? So like, like week, Week nine?

[B]

Yeah, right around there. Like after Halloween.

[A]

They lose that Bears game and they go 1 and 6. Why not trade Derek Henry at that point? How many years does he have left?

[B]

Anyways, like, the Bears game is after the buy. So they have a buy now, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe they scrap Lamar for the year.

[A]

If the Pats traded for Derek Henry, I would absolutely. I would actually lose my mind. That'd be it? Yeah, that'd be it. I'd be just. I'd wake up, I'd be two block. I'd be like D. Mercado fumbling the goal. Like, I just. Complete blackout. I'd just be two blocks from my house. Like, how did I get here? Where am I?

[B]

You'd be fumbling your hot water with lemon all over that.

[A]

Derek Henry would be the. One of the most beloved Boston veteran athletes like we've ever had. He would just immediately be beloved.

[B]

This is great.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

Is he a Henry? Is he like a John Henry? Is there a relation because you can make that work.

[A]

No, Packles, Packers, Bengals, we don't have to talk about that game. Although I don't understand why Love has the fifth best MVP odds in the league. Have you watched any Jordan Love game this year and been like, whoa, this guy's amazing. Like, Dak Prescott's 10 times better than Jordan Love this year. Jordan Love has guys running around wide open all game.

[B]

I'm with you. Golden made him look good today. And Kraft came back a bit, but they still were in danger of getting that game tied on them in the fourth quarter.

[A]

Titans, Raiders was the other one that happened. They really fucked up with these. Only three games as the late games and that's one. They should have flexed the fourth game. Right. They should have just flexed Pat Saints and made it like a later game.

[B]

You like the two Monday nights, but one of them could been a late afternoon game. Like now we have two Monday nights, one at 7, one at 8 Eastern. And then we got a, you know, we got a baseball game at like 3.

[A]

It allowed house and I to watch Wizards preseason. So that was fun.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Had that on one of the TVs. Then House did this thing where he. I think just because he's old, turns out House is old. Turns out we're all old. He kept falling asleep and waking up. So he would snore and then the snoring wake up.

[B]

What time is this?

[A]

I was going to. It was like 2:30 in the afternoon. Oh, come on. No, it was. I should have videotaped it because I could have sent it to the NFL. Like Roger Goodell and all those people. This is what happens when they have three people, three teams in the late games. That's great. My buddy House loves football. He's Sad asleep. It's 2:30.

[B]

Gino and Cam Ward. It did it. Yeah. There you go.

[A]

Yeah. House was like, I flew cross country yesterday. All right. Cross offs. Jets owing six.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the first time we've done this. Jets cross off. Yep. Okay. Browns one in five cross off.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Tennessee one and five and should be oh and six and are probably the worst coach in the league.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

All right, that's three.

[B]

Are you going to have one more or no more? Let's see.

[A]

No, we're going to have five Dolphins. Five Dolphins one and five are automatic crossover. Yeah, they're. They're done.

[B]

They're gone.

[A]

We didn't talk about whether DJ Mikey Mack, I don't think he gets fired because two weeks in a row the team could have rolled over and they actually like really fought and tried to win for him. Like today they took the lead with a minute left. Two actually came through and then of course they fucked the game up.

[B]

I felt the same old bowl, right. Like the Chargers, Miami, like whoever lost is going to be like, oh, this is the same old team team, right. Same old Chargers. Typical Chargers. They. They get the lead and they blow it at the end and well, but they're playing the same old Dolphins with the same old coach with his analytics and drawstring sweatpants. He's a mess. And now like what 2 is going out and saying the players immediate missing. They're skipping meetings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Not great. Well, that was, I forgot to mention that was a pretty massive win for the Chargers because.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I don't think they're going to win the super bowl without, without Slater. Not to mention they're missing their top two running backs even though Vidal look good today. But they'd fall in the three and three with the depth that we have in the, in the afc. I don't know, I feel like they're.

[B]

At, at much worse shape at 3 and 3 than Kansas City is even though they beat them head to head.

[A]

Yeah. So 4 and 2 at least buy some time. Herbert made a great, I mean what's his face? Made an awesome McConkey. Yeah, McConkey. Yeah, awesome. Seemed like he was going, going out to kill some clock. Cuts back in right up getting it. But terrible loss for Miami. They're a cross off. And then I don't mind the Saints. I thought they were pretty frisky today. And in general, like, I don't think Rattler's that bad. They can move the ball. I think they're like decently coached. But they're a cross off. They're one in five. They're not, they're not going eight and three over their last 11 to make the playoffs.

[B]

Yeah. So normally we might keep the NFC south last place team around because the first place team's usually like three and three at this point. We're not doing that.

[A]

This Tampa's too good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So we have five crossups.

[B]

Okay. That is five. One.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Two. Okay. And who is, who's on the lookout? Ravens have a buy so they, they get to survive. I think we're okay for a minute now.

[A]

Yeah, I think, I think. Listen, we have cross off scouts in Cincinnati and Las Vegas. There's no question Arizona and you know, the Giants we didn't talk about, I mean all the Giants fans we know they're absolutely going nuts about Dart and Scatter Boo in the front four. But Dart, we went through this with Drake May last year. Like, they have to like have an intervention with him. He's going to spend the entire season in the blue tent. You can't seek out hits when you're a quarterback. Like, you're not playing bad high school football anymore. Like, these are 6, 5, 290 pound people.

[B]

I don't know if he's a great fit for New York either. Like, he went right after the reporters. I know a lot of them are assholes, but he's like, yeah. And you know, you guys are so negative. And the reporter's like, well, whoa, whoa, what are we negative about? And he's like, well, now he has to decide how much he wants to commit to this whole thing.

[A]

But yeah, to the bit.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but people didn't believe.

[A]

It's like, yeah, you're right. We didn't believe. A 1 in 4 team we're going to beat the super bowl champs. We shoot us.

[B]

Sorry, it's just based on the whole last month, but. Okay, but who did what? Okay, let me ask you this. What 80s tag team does Scatterbo and Dart remind you of?

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

When we first saw them.

[A]

Like B. Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell. The Killer Bees.

[B]

No, I think a little more grit than that.

[A]

Who do you got?

[B]

Road Warriors. Legion of Doom.

[A]

Right? Interesting.

[B]

Delivering clotheslines every play. And we'll see like one climb the other shoulders. I feel like this is a. They're just a battering crew. Like, what the hell did we just see? Just running everybody over.

[A]

They won that game and did media for like an hour and a half after. Yeah, I just had Amazon on because I was doing stuff and came back and Fitzpatrick and Scatterboo both had their shirts off their chest pumping. I'm like, what's. These guys are 2 and 4. They're the freaking NFC title game.

[B]

They're Hawking animal. I don't know who's which, but they're hawking Animal. This is the Road Warriors.

[A]

All right, we're going to take a break and then we're going to do guest alliance. This episode is brought to you by Frank's Redhot. Bring every bite to life with the perfect blend of flavor and heat. Two of my favorite things. You can put Frank's Red Hot on everything and believe me, you will. A world where wings bring out the flavor of game day any day. Where Buffalo chicken dip takes any party up 1, 2, 3 notches. And where any slice of pizza instantly becomes the world's best slice of pizza. Visit Frank's Red Hot to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Scout Motors. You don't change the game by standing on the sidelines. You do it by building something new. Iconic in the 70s and reimagined for today, the all new Scout Terra and Scout Traveler are engineered from the ground up with advanced capability and bold ingenuity. Build brand new for what's next. Opposing defenses take note. Join the [e-mail] Concept vehicles not available for sale. Joining the waitlist does not guarantee purchase. Visit scoutmotors.com for details. Last week on Guest Alliance I hit 10. Exactly. Controversial.

[B]

What's the point of this anymore?

[A]

You thought I was cheating. I've never cheated. Guest Alliance. What kind of feedback did you get from people with the cheating? Non cheating.

[B]

It's so funny because people are like, well, we know Bill's been cheating all these years. I'm like that. I laugh. I don't think it's true. But I do think that's funny that that's a consensus for this and I'm.

[A]

Going to go check.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Bias.

[A]

What would be the fight about cheating and guess the lines Like I'm. I'm honestly curious about that.

[B]

I don't know. I mean, has sponsorship rate gone up since you hit 10 in a row on the podcast?

[A]

Nothing happened. Okay.

[B]

I don't know what it would be then.

[A]

Thursday night Steelers at the Bengals.

[B]

I hit this exact. And you're going to think this is payback, but go ahead.

[A]

Well, you won the first two weeks, I won the next four, so I'm up for.

[B]

This is bad. Am I a cross off?

[A]

No, I, I put this in the Vegas zone. I have stewards by five and a half.

[B]

You see what I mean? I can't even. I can't even gain on you here. It's five and a half. It's five and a half,.

[A]

All right.

[B]

And is it? Well, before we go on, this was what it was when they were home against Cleveland. Is this still a little light? This is still. This is Flacco now.

[A]

I thought the Bengals, you know, unfortunately we had to watch that game semi carefully because we only had three games. Yeah, look, Flacco's 40. I'm not nothing to write home about at this point. But he is pretty good at throwing that 20 yard sideline throw like up in the air for receivers. There's something there with them. So.

[B]

Okay, so this might be the trip up game Here Thursday night.

[A]

Listen, are the stairwares just going to. Week after week, things are just going to go right for them. Like this is how it's going to go. I don't know.

[B]

One of the way the Eagles made me not want to bet any Thursday night games. I mean that was clearly a team that was unprepared and everything else. And oh yeah, this is a game coming off of three days rest.

[A]

I just me personally, if I didn't bet the Thursday games or the Europe games, I'd be having an unbelievable year. Yeah, it's. And by the way, we know not to bet those games.

[B]

They know what they're doing.

[A]

It gets near game time, we're like, all right, fine.

[B]

You know what we should have done before we move on? If we had bet against all the backup quarterbacks on a Parlay, it was plus 270. They all lost. Five for five. Even as good, some of them played well. Brissette was good, but it still lost.

[A]

Does Dylan Gabriel count as a backup quarterback?

[B]

He. Back, back, back, back, back up.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Way back.

[A]

I think I'm going to hit the London game too. 9. I'm going to try not to bet it. Rams, Jaguars, probably be 80% Jags fans. I have Rams by two and a half.

[B]

That's what I had. It's three.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

At least you're not hitting them. Exactly.

[A]

Now the rare three. We don't have threes anymore. Yeah, I mean part of the science against the lines this year is you just bet one and a half, two and a half for Vegas.

[B]

Right. You tell them, maybe you could tell them they're wrong. I mean, you're as reliable as anyone.

[A]

This is not even ends at two and a half though.

[B]

It's not a tick of a home game for Jacksonville having been there a zillion times.

[A]

You know, I don't know if they're expecting fans after what happened today. It might just be an empty stadium. Might be like a Covid. They might have to have cardboard cutouts of people.

[B]

Right, right, right. If they go back burning cars outside.

[A]

I mean, this will be a nice little tester for the Jags, right? Sure. You win this, you're five and two. You lose this, you're four and three and you should have lost the Chiefs game and you're kind of frauds. So we'll find out. There was a classic. I still, I just can't get there with Lawrence. I know he was pretty good last week, but there was a play. They're down. He wasn't very good. Today they're down 26 throws. This pass that it felt like it could have been picked and it bounces up in the air and it goes to Brian Thomas, I think, or one of their receivers and the guy runs down and then it turns out they, it gets called back for a flag. But they cut to Lawrence and he's like doing this like he did something. It's like that pass was terrible. It should have been picked. It's like, yeah, we did it.

[B]

They're still dropping some. By the way, I would move this. I think a couple weeks ago we were talking about how Nukua. I don't want to bet. I don't want any part of the Rams if Naku is not in the lineup. I. You don't do this for a receiver, but this could move a half a point if he's deemed out. I don't know.

[A]

I mean limping around for the whole.

[B]

Second half of that game could sit this. I mean it's in London.

[A]

If he's out, the Jags I think are, are, are a live bet. Yeah, Sunday. Yeah, sure. Sunday. Marquis, sadly Slim Pickens. We gotta go with Colts, Chargers. Just cause that's a five and one against. Oh man, it is four and two. It's in la. Chargers have lost some people. I, I hesitate to say this is a test for the Colts, but I do have them favored. I have Colts one and a half.

[B]

Oh, you do? Oh good. I have the Chargers by two and a half. It's Chargers by one and a half. Oh my God, it feels so good to win one wow. By myself.

[A]

Do you agree with that?

[B]

Well, I agree with two of them.

[A]

Is that or not? I think the Colts should be favored. Really? All right.

[B]

I mean you just said how they might be a fraudulent defense and everything else.

[A]

No, but the Chargers have. They're on the third string running back and they're missing both tackles though.

[B]

All right, well, they have. What. What will the fan situation be like? Oh, you know, a lot of the ringer guys are coming to town. Right. It's a special week for Spot. It's core weekend.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And our nephew Anthony De Bundo is a big Colts fan. I wonder if he'll go to this game. Interesting. A lot of Colts.

[A]

That'd be great. He sent me a wedding photo of him and Drew Carter, the Celtics guy that I love. The two Syracuse guys. I just felt really proud looking at it. I frame it. I was going to put it over my shoulder. I love Drew Carter. Drew Carter should be one of the NFL play Play, Play.

[B]

Guys.

[A]

I don't understand how they do the scouting with this stuff sometimes. Yeah. When there's actually like a legitimately, like Noah Eagle was like, oh, that guy's good. Like, you just know right away.

[B]

Right.

[A]

There's certain guys and it doesn't really matter what the sport is, but you know who the good guys are. And like, Drew Carter is great doing the NBA games for the Celtics. It's like, clearly should be doing NFL.

[B]

Yeah. Well, there's a color commentary position open. I don't know about play by play, but, yeah, he could get it. You hate that you're cutting all these.

[A]

Not cutting any of them. The watchables. We got three Eagles at Vikings. I don't. It's even questionable whether this is a watchable, but it is. Wentz going against the Eagles is fun, right? I assume we're not going to get McCarthy.

[B]

No.

[A]

And God only knows what to expect with the Eagles. It's in Minnesota and I went Eagles minus one and a half.

[B]

All right, I get this. I said two. It is two and a half. That might come down to.

[A]

It's a tough one because I don't know what to make of that Vikings team.

[B]

Right. They're all tough.

[A]

You think they'll have Van Ginkel and Cashman back? I don't think they will.

[B]

I feel like they haven't played in forever, but one's going to get 10 days, whatever. Yeah. One will have two weeks rest.

[A]

So next watchables. I just. I think the Giants are a watchable if they're playing a good team. So Broncos, Giants in Denver I think has to be in the watchable category. As long as this dart thing is going and all the Giants fans are fired up at it, I have Broncos by seven against the Giants.

[B]

Yeah, you hit that. Exactly. I don't think I have to tell you anymore. I said five and a half. I thought that was a little rich seven. But I forget Hawk and Animal coming to Denver.

[A]

I had it lower in my head, too. But then I thought, this is such an obvious teaser. They're going to jack it.

[B]

We can't. We can't bet it on a teaser. It's obvious to others we can't after what we went through this morning.

[A]

Well, that right guard on the Broncos, what was that guy's name? Number 69. Pert.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

79. Just over and over again was murdering them with holding calls at the worst possible times.

[B]

If they played anyone else, they would have lost by 17 points today.

[A]

That giant front four really is something. You know, we'll find out.

[B]

They beat the shit out of the Eagles.

[A]

I think Peyton, the announcers were even saying it. Eisen and Warner, they were even intimating like Peyton was like, I'm worried about this game. We just had this awesome win against the Eagles and this is like a stupid jets team and I just want to get through this and pull a win out the other watchables. I'm sorry. Your team is exceedingly watchable. I have Washington at Dallas. It's a watchable game. I'm going to enjoy it. All your team does is play awesome games.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

The Carolina Dallas game was super fun. I really enjoyed it.

[B]

Listen, regardless of record, let's just do Tampa Bay Dallas in the NFC Championship.

[A]

It would be great. Let's do it.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Be really fun game.

[B]

Play out the rest of the year, but make that the championship. It's fine.

[A]

I did. Washington favored by three over Dallas and Dallas.

[B]

I think I got this exact. Yeah. Two and a half. Washington favored by two and a half.

[A]

I don't have the same magic today. Other close. I'm hovering around every line.

[B]

Yeah. You could look them up real quick if you want like you did last week and then just jot them down. They're the game.

[A]

Bears home for the Saints. Now you're asking why isn't this a poop fecta game? The Saints are kind of entertaining. I don't know. I don't mind the Saints. I didn't mind watching them today and I think the Bears are mildly entertaining as well. And it's in Chicago and I have the Bears favored by four over the Saints.

[B]

I had the same. Is there an injury? Because this went. So we tie. It's four and a half. But it opened at five and a half. It's something. Someone gets screwed up there.

[A]

So what's the. It's four and a half. It's four and a half, huh?

[B]

Wait. If it started at five and a half now the Bears aren't favorite.

[A]

Maybe. I think it might have been gotten bent down or bent down because the Saints have kind of been hanging against teams that are would all be in the playoffs if the season ended today.

[B]

I guess. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Chicago on a short week.

[A]

I just.

[B]

Yeah. Interesting that that would move so much.

[A]

Chiefs home for the Raiders. It has to go past the tease number. I have Chiefs minus seven and a half. Probably too low.

[B]

All right. Yeah. I have eight and I was way low. It's ten and a half.

[A]

Oh, Jesus. That's too high.

[B]

What do we do with that.

[A]

That's too high.

[B]

This is going to be. We're going to have this on a moneyline parlay. We're going to have to be watching with a minute 20 left in the fourth quarter to see if Butler kicks a field goal.

[A]

We had a two week window with the Chiefs where they were getting people actually like flipping the other way and not respecting them enough. And now it's gone back to stupid again. That's too high.

[B]

But you have Geno. Could he. I mean, to his credit, he was giving up his interceptions on the other side of the field. Like now the other ended toward the red zone.

[A]

Right. That's.

[B]

That's what he could do. That's all he needs to do. The Titans almost covered that game.

[A]

Oh, we were watching it, just trying to. It was 20 to 3. And we're like, all right, so they'll score. Gino will do something dumb. They'll get a 2017 final. Just waiting for it. And then, you know, Ken Moore just plays like a rookie quarterback.

[B]

Unfortunately, how he gave up the ball there at the end was really like, hey, I'm sick of holding this thing. Take it.

[A]

Yeah, it's not, it's not great. Packers, Cardinals in Arizona. No idea if Kyler Murray is starting, but I would assume he is. And then Harrison with the concussion. That's usually a two week injury. Now the concussion.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Pretty rarely the guy comes back after one. I initially had this at three, but I'm bumping it to three and a half post concussion.

[B]

Am I going to beat you this time?

[A]

Packers three and a half. You might.

[B]

I said six.

[A]

It's six and a half in Arizona.

[B]

Yep. They're done. They're. They're done with this team.

[A]

Yeah, but has anyone watched the Packers? I mean, they're late in the world on.

[B]

That's true. They'd really be better off even if he's ready keeping that at all.

[A]

I both don't agree with that at all. And I've never bet Arizona, so maybe the line's right.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Poop factor. Three games. Brown's home for the Dolphins.

[B]

Wait a minute. How are you not putting your game.

[A]

I got my game in poop fecta.

[B]

Oh, it's better than that. This is a rivalry. It's a huge rivalry.

[A]

Go ahead, you go. Fairly watchable. All right, I'll move it up.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because Raal going back to Tennessee, of.

[B]

Course there's a lot of. A lot of shenanigans could take place here.

[A]

All right. Fairly watchables. Pats At Tennessee.

[B]

So you know what, if you say it like that, maybe we should move it down now that I have it floating in my head.

[A]

Well, so they played the Saints today and they're basically three and a half all week and it didn't budge. And I think the Saints are better than the Titans. So I'm going to say Pat's by four.

[B]

All right, so you're light on all these. I said seven and it's six and a half. You got it. These cross off teams have to get five, six points.

[A]

You can't run the ball.

[B]

Yeah, but these teams that don't even really, they're either going to lose by 10 or 7. Some of these teams or 40.

[A]

I don't know. I was on it last week. I don't, I don't agree with some of this. I love this. I just think that Titans team is going to be really fired up because they're a fucking mess. Vrabel is doing great with the Pats. It's going to be a whole week of why do we let Mike Vrabel go? So either that's bad for the Titans or they're going to be all fired up to play them. Yeah, but there's gonna be a lot of emotion.

[B]

What happens? Lots of more emotion. If they signed Derrick Henry on Thursday going back to Tennessee. Can you get it done that quickly?

[A]

Can we make the trade?

[B]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[A]

Second rounder and Ramondre for Derek Henry.

[B]

In a fourth even for a week.

[A]

Can we call it in?

[B]

Just trade for a week a rental.

[A]

Then trade them back in two weeks.

[B]

Airbnb them for the week and then just slaughter them.

[A]

That'd be great if we could do trades like that. Poop factor. Browns, Dolphins in Cleveland and I have no idea who should be favored in this game, but I'm going to say Browns by one and a half.

[B]

Yeah, you got me here. I said Miami by one. It's Browns by two and a half. Oh man.

[C]

Is that.

[B]

I mean, we were right. I mean they're both cross offs, but Miami's more of a cross off, I guess.

[A]

So bad they're, I mean, giving up all that rushing yardage to this guy that was released by the Chargers before the season, then resigned.

[B]

Yeah. Pretty bad. Yeah.

[A]

Getting, getting beaten in the last 40 seconds by a team that basically had one receiver. Pretty bad.

[B]

Any chance we see Shador here or the Dylan Gabriel just they feel bad for him because he really didn't have a lot of chances to win.

[A]

I mean, they should just put Shador in once. They can't lose. If he's good, it'd be like, whoa, he's good. And if he's bad, they never have to have the conversation again. But it makes more sense to play.

[B]

It now, which makes me think he's not ready. Like, why wouldn't they put him in? He has to really not be ready to not put. To further embarrass this club.

[A]

I think that's what's happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Panthers at the Jets. I have the Panthers favorite. I think the Panthers have a legitimate chance to go four and three here. Panthers minus one and a half is my guess.

[B]

All right, I have to check this. I had Panthers by two.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The jets are favored by one and a half. You get this one. The jets are favored. The 3 and 3 Panthers are an underdog to the 0 and 6 Jets.

[A]

Well, so. All right, let's talk this out. That's a. There are two Panthers teams. Road Panthers and home Panthers. And road Panthers are bad. It's the only thing I could think of. Sunday night, 49ers home.

[B]

We just talked that out. That's what that was.

[A]

Yeah, that was it.

[B]

What about how many versions of the jets are there? Because I just see the one that loses every week.

[A]

I mean, if they can't win this game, are they going to win this season? You're right.

[B]

This is not going to be favored.

[A]

By the rest of the game. How many wins are left on the schedule?

[B]

No, they can't be favored by anyone else. They're home for Miami, though, who just got a raw number against Cleveland.

[A]

Well, they got their home Browns, week 10, home Dolphins, week 14. They're at the Saints.

[B]

No, they won't.

[A]

Those are last three chances. Yep. Sunday night, 49ers, Falcons and this line could move. If the Falcons look good against Buffalo. Tomorrow would be my guess. But right now I have a 49ers by three.

[B]

Yep, that's. I had it also. It's exactly what it is.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think I went with 5, 10, 7.

[A]

Oh, I won. Wow. You took a big haymaker and bounced back. That's resilience. You know what? There's a lot people could learn from you.

[B]

Thanks, buddy.

[A]

It's how to just suck it up. Just move on to the next week. It's impressive. Monday night Lions, Bucks. It's in Detroit and it feels like the Bucks are going to be missing at least their first three receivers. I don't know if Bucky Irving's playing. I have Lions minus three.

[B]

I had two and a half yeah, it's five and a half.

[A]

Oof. So that's pricing in all the injuries.

[B]

Yeah, but come on, don't we.

[A]

That's too high.

[B]

Are they going to get slaughtered, Tampa Bay? Or are they, Baker, going to have a chance to win it in the fourth quarter?

[A]

Oh, our special guest is here. Let's. Let's guess this last one really fast. There he is. Seahawks. Texans in Seattle. I have Seahawks minus two and a half.

[B]

Jimmy, guess for me because I already won, so it's okay.

[A]

This is.

[B]

You can screw this up.

[C]

Yeah, I go Seahawks minus three and a half.

[B]

All right, you split it. It's three. Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Great job, Jimmy. It's a rookie mistake. You should have. You need to price as right him. If he says two and a half and you think it's three or three, you should have gone three.

[C]

Too much integrity for that. You know that stuff.

[A]

Yeah, that is true.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Okay. Today's Parent Corner is presented by Uber Eats. Let's be real. Wouldn't be game day without a spread of your favorite foods. Pizza, burgers, burritos, you name it. Uber Eats is here to deliver it to you all season long. We're delivering as a special guest for Parent Corner. Controversial late night host Jimmy Kimmel is here. Our cousin. He really is controversy, occasional late night host.

[C]

By the way, I think I'm spending somewhere in the neighborhood of between 40 and 80,000 thousand dollars a year on UberEats. Now, I'm not sure what it is, but it's really, it's. It's a problem. It's too easy now.

[A]

It's too easy.

[B]

It doesn't count as a Parent Corner story. But, Jimmy, your mom showed me a picture of the bag that the UberEats delivery driver left on her front porch and said, please tip me well. And she was really bent out of shape about it. She's like, I was gonna tip them well. Why? I don't understand.

[A]

Jimmy, we wanted to have you on for a variety of reasons for Parent Corner, but your son is in the all time sweet spot for Parent Corner. I went through it when my son Ben was around this age. It was just this smorgasbord of stories. And then Sal just went through with Harrison and now your beloved young Billy. It's in the sweet spot right now for him.

[C]

Billy's eight years old now, and there are a lot of kids in our family. And as my father said, this is the weirdest one. He's, you know, he's into a lot of the normal kid stuff. The eight year old stuff like Roblox and Mr. Beast, but also obsessed with death in a weird way. Like tornadoes and tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes. He always wants to know if they're gonna. If they're coming, if they're gonna. And he also wants to know who will get them if we die, if Molly, my wife and I die, who will get cut, where will they live? And he wants all the details on who it is. It almost gets to the point where it feels like he's hoping it happens.

[B]

Yeah, well, wait a minute. Did you tell him? Did you tell him?

[C]

What was it?

[A]

Yeah, what was the answer? I'm interested in the answer.

[C]

You know what? We don't know the answer. I think we had a plan, like when they were babies, but now, now my older kids are like each married and so it probably would make most sense that they would live with their sister and brother in some way.

[A]

But now you have an answer.

[C]

Yeah, I guess so. But then which one do we pick? And then do we even. We tell. Do we tell the people we picked?

[B]

No. It's a nice surprise. I think you might have been. Kissed me for a second. And then you saw House eats three and the vomiting.

[A]

You said we can't.

[B]

No.

[A]

You were the leader in the clubhouse until Brad. You get custody of him two weekends a year.

[B]

I think that was the deal breaker for Jimmy Queer. The deal for anyone.

[A]

The Labor Day is with Brad. He couldn't do it. So give us some of the highlights because I got to see young Billy in action a couple weeks ago. Yeah, I'm not going to say it was a tense atmosphere before your first show back, but you know, people were moving around. Pete was emotional and then he showed up and had a water gun and was just antagonizing and attacking everybody and lightened the mood. He sees the.

[C]

When they come to the office, he just sees just a bunch of adults as his victims. And we actually had a stern talk with him afterwards. Like you can't because like nobody can say anything to him. He's the host's kid, you know.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And I think somewhere down deep inside he senses that because he goes absolutely wild. It's also probably the free snacks at the craft service table have something to do with it.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But he is, I mean, he and his penis are like Starsky and Hutch. They are a. A team that cannot be separated. And every story goes to his penis. I mean he's, he really. I think his, his greatest move was he's walking around the house and he's Got his dick out. And I go, all right, put your penis away. And he's like, what? I say, put your penis. Put your pants on and put your penis away. And Molly, my wife's like, you know, billy, okay, all right. It's funny, but put your penis away. He's like, it's not. My penis is not out. And he kept a straight face and insisted that his penis wasn't out and then started crying, like, as if. As one would if his penis wasn't out. And he's just like, why are you saying this? It's not him.

[B]

Why.

[C]

Why are you saying my penis is out? It's not out, and it's fucking out. And you just, like. You don't know what to do, you know, because it's out, number one. But part of you really admires this insane avenue that he's chosen to walk down, and then the other part doesn't want him to do it at school, you know? Right. So it's really.

[A]

It goes from adorable and hilarious to an actual issue.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Pretty fast.

[C]

It hasn't become an issue yet. I mean, like, he. He's shy with. With, like, people outside of the house. Like, he's. He said he doesn't like to shoot his. Do the doctors to see his. His penis. And we're like, well, who do you see? Your penis? Said, my cousins.

[B]

He also, what if we roll? What if we all wore scrubs? Would that, you think, put an end to it?

[C]

I think it's important for context to know that he dresses now like Aaron Paul in the first season of Breaking Bad. Like, he'll wear, like, a skull cap and jewelry. He's got a gold chain that he thinks is pretty valuable that I bought him for, like, 8 bucks on Amazon. He's always in black, and if he's not in black, he's in something absolutely crazy.

[A]

That sounds good for Hollywood Boulevard.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like. He looks like a skateboarder from the 80s, but he doesn't ride a. A skateboard. So we come down in the morning, and he's eating tortilla chips. And Molly says, who told you you could eat tortilla chips in the morning? And he just goes. Thinks for a second, and he goes, my penis. He also squeezes. He likes to grab our asses not just with one hand, but two hands. It'll just really. And he'll. He'll make sounds like an old pervert. By, like, he says to Molly, her last name's McNary. He goes, oh, squishy McNearney. He's behind her, squeezing her ass. Squeezing his friend Mo's ass at school. He's got a handful of Mo, his best friend Moe's ass. And, and he's holding a book. And the book is a photo book that Mo's mother has made for Billy. And on the front of the book, Billy is also squeezing Moses. So it's like if you were to hold it up to a mirror, you'd see infinity of Billy squeezing Moses. The fun little things, like he'll take Molly's chapstick and just start applying it to his penis.

[B]

No, my God.

[C]

Molly said you. I actually overheard her say this and I wrote it down. Put on your clothes. Your penis is not entertainment.

[B]

She thinks.

[A]

That could, that could, that could help ABC's fall lineup.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your penis is not entertainment on Tuesday nights. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

He's very. He's into all the bad things that boys are into.

[A]

Not, not farting, not. Not the farting poop area.

[C]

Not really farting for sure. Pooping. You know, he loves to fart. He will. He'll get naked and just like, just sit right on my head and fart while I'm sleeping. Morning, he gets in bed with us and he just gets upside down in the bed, just puts both of his feet right in my. Right in my mouth, like right in my face.

[B]

Like.

[C]

He said his, his favorite dinner, his dream dinner is cereal with prime. You know that? Yeah, that Logan Paul or Jake. Paul sells that, like poisonous. Yeah, that's his dream dinner and cereal and prime. Yeah, cereal and prime. That's his dream.

[A]

That's. That's like for an 8 year old, like a bump of cocaine or something.

[C]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. We're going to Ireland with my family next week, you know, and he. I don't know if he decided this or my dad decided it's, but they decided they're going to have a sip of beer together in a pub.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Interesting. That should go well.

[C]

Yeah, that should be great.

[A]

Is there anyone in the Southern California area that your dad hasn't told yet that he's going to Ireland or. There's still like 10 people left.

[C]

There's nobody. The number of cash you got through.

[A]

Everybody. Okay.

[C]

Can we talk about parents? I guess we can in parents.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it's all parents and kids are eligible.

[C]

I mean, for God's sake, this man. The details, the texts are right now. First of all, I know the exchange rate, the exchange rate for euro for the whole year, like from January, what it was, what it is today. And What a shame it is that it's. It was. We didn't get this money exchanged in January because it was. You'd save 15 cents for each dollar. I know how many pounds are allowed in his luggage. He wanted to know because you can get up to 70 pounds if he should bring two pieces of luggage with under 70 pounds or add a third. You know, just like all these crazy questions he's asking us. We're having a big family reunion with our Irish family, and he keeps reminding us that one member of the family, this kid who had the same heart surgery Billy had, is going to be there. And he's now reminded us of this six times. And Molly and I are the over. Under is 11 on it.

[B]

So nice.

[C]

We still have a few days, but 11 is what we're shooting for.

[A]

I was thinking that should be. You know those ads they have, the old people ads where it's like, this is wrong. And you could take this and that would be the ultimate one, is to not tell the same story 10 to 20 times.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You hit some certain age as a parent and it's just. Did I tell you that? Blah, blah, blah. It's like, yeah, insurance commercial told me 20 minutes ago that you. Most parents tell you if.

[C]

When you tell them. Yeah, you told me that story. They have to finish it. It doesn't matter, right?

[A]

They finish it anyway.

[C]

It's like they got started and they're gonna finish it. And you'll go like, there's no one else in the room right now. Like, who are you telling this to? Told you I it. You told me this story already.

[A]

They're on Broadway, like, doing a performance. They just don't care who they are.

[B]

Or you have to hit a quota at the end of the month, like a cop given, like speeding tickets or parking tickets like that. Maybe there's a number in their head they have to hit.

[C]

Let me read you a text that Molly sent to me last night. She said, I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I tell you your dad just came to the door with Todd. Todd's our dog. And was mid sentence about his great, great grandfather when I opened the door and then just went through his entire genealogy. I think I said three words. And then he said, all right, gotta go.

[A]

Meanwhile, these are the texts I get from my mom, whose name is Jan. This is just out of Nowhere, unsolicited, on October 4th. Do I have Jannheimer's or did I never watch another nine and a half weeks? Is this pre or post Wild. Orchard.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

Text from my 70 year old mom.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

And does she pronounce it Orchard or is that you?

[A]

That's just me.

[C]

Orchard. Yeah.

[A]

Orchard. Yeah, that's just me. That's my. So who, who is the funniest texting parent? What? Sal? What are your parents from a texting standpoint?

[B]

Well, my father's like got gorilla hands and gorilla brain too, so he can't really text. He doesn't know how to text. But my mother.

[A]

So he doesn't text at all. Your mother's like a big sister.

[B]

We featured some of my mot text on. On Jimmy Kimmel Live. She's just a lunatic. All caps, all knowing everything and. And voice texting it too, so it all comes out ridiculous.

[C]

I get a lot of good texts from your mom. You want to hear? I think I got one just the. The other day. Yeah, I mean, just. I mean they're mostly complimentary, but a lot of times they're, you know, give me a tip. Oh, my friend is the executive producer of this documentary. She is a retired judge. Thought you should see this. And then there's a two hour documentary she wants me to watch on my phone.

[B]

My mother's. My mother's name is Fran. And she changed on the phone, she changed her name to Melanie. You know, it's a. It'll say like maybe. It says maybe Melanie. Maybe Melanie. I was like, what? You know what? I'm just going to change it to Melanie. Now she's Melanie in my phone. So I call her Melanie. She hates Sheikh. Don't go buy that. I don't even know what the hell that is. Don't do that. But it's clearly something she did in the settings or something.

[A]

My mom sends me texts, like these thought provoking texts out of nowhere. Like I'm not even 100% sure OJ did it. That'll just be the text and it'll just be there. No context or anything. I'm like, wait, what? Yeah, that's. That's my. My dad's way more.

[C]

I know, it's just sex on. On this too. The only texts I really get from my mother are her. Her daily wordle and Connections.

[B]

Connections?

[C]

Yeah, Erdolan connections. Every day. Every day. I never respond to them. I mean, I'm looking through them right now. There's. There are like 50 of them and I've never responded to a single one of them. But I keep getting them every day.

[B]

Can I tell you, I get them from her too, and it ruins my day. I Love hearing from her. But she'll wake up at like 4:30 in the morning so she'll get it done first and she'll always write, this was too easy. And I'm like, God damn it, now I can't get even one wrong right. So now I have to get four for four. And if I don't get perfect, it's like, ah, she did it again.

[C]

Wednesday, 4:51am Wordle score. Thursday. Oh, she slept in. 7:10am Friday, 5:42am Saturday, 5:42am I mean, it's, it's insanity.

[A]

Jimmy, do either of your parents still do the thing where somebody recognized them and they tell you about it like it's going to be this amazing story about how they get recognized, but you immediately know by the twinkle in their eye before the story starts where the story is going to be and what it is?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. Although it's hard for my parents because it's hard to get recognized when you're shouting your son's name at strangers before.

[B]

They even speak to you.

[C]

You know, it's a little bit different. My Aunt Chippy, our Aunt Chippy, I should say, she told me three times in the span of 24 hours that Garth from Mazda sends his best. There's a guy named Garth that works at a Mazda dealership in Las Vegas who one time provided Aunt Chippy with a car. I've never met Garth, but the third time she was about to tell me, she goes, oh, did I tell you? Did I tell you who reached out? I go, garth from Mazda. She's like, yeah, Garth from Mazda.

[B]

This is a huge, huge for Garth from Mazda.

[A]

That should be your mom's next thing for her phone, Sal. She could be Garth from Mazda instead of Melanate. Yeah. Wait, Jimmy, what about your, your daughter? No. Or have you hit that point now? Is she too cool to hang out with you yet or is that in real time?

[C]

I like to find out what kind of like the, the new lingo that the kids are using and then I just drop it in in the middle and she hates it so much. It is so funny. Apparently bad delicious is something that they're saying. And so we were having dinner last night and I knew she had said Baddylicious. They went to the Chapel Rowan concert, my wife and, and daughter. And she called some woman who's all dressed up bad delicious. And so I was eat last night we're eating Chinese food. I was like, oh, this is bad delicious. And she just like looks at me.

[B]

Like they get so mad, right?

[C]

And Molly does a bit called Cool mom where she's like, jane, you're so lucky you got a cool mom. And she starts, like, dancing around, like. And Jane really, like, genuinely hates it. It's not even like a joke. Like, she hates it. Like, joe, pull her aside and say, please, please, stop doing that. Stop doing that. For some reason, they tolerate my nonsense more, but also, like, nothing I say, you know, nothing I say is ever serious. So it's. Yeah, it's part of it. But, yeah, that's. That's the big thing. She also just started her new season of basketball, and she scored four points today, which is huge. She has not scored before. And. But she plays, like, the level of intensity with which she plays is insane. Is like. Like a young Dennis Rodman. I mean, she is, like, just running as hard as she can.

[A]

She was.

[C]

She's pretty tall, you know, and she was assigned to guard this little girl who was about half her size today. And she would not. I mean, you would. She was glued to this kid, this poor kid, the whole time. She did not let up on this kid. And this kid had no chance of scoring, you know, even with it. If this kid was alone on the court, she had no chance of scoring. But Jane was up this kid's ass, and she is so serious. It's really funny to watch her play. And she wound up scoring a couple of baskets. So she was very pleased with herself tonight.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

I miss those days.

[C]

And she's wearing deodorant now, too.

[A]

Deodorant?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Dennis Rodman never wore deodorant, so there's the difference.

[C]

She said, hey, can I have some deodorant? I was like, yeah, I guess.

[A]

Sal, did you have a parent corner? Because I gave mine to Jimmy.

[B]

I did, and I think this is a good one for all of us. So Saturday morning, Harrison, my 12 year old, approaches me. It's like, can we play golf? I know you're busy, but can we. Is there a way we could play golf this morning? Like, oh, Jesus, there's so many good college football games. He doesn't have a tournament. I just wanted to veg out, you know? And so now I have to weigh my gambling addiction with my duty to be a good parent, which I'm not addicted to. So. And I ask everyone. Nobody else wants to go golfing, so it's just me and him. No one else in the family. So we have 90 minutes before the Oregon game. So we go to that hotel golf course a couple miles away on Rose Krantz. And I am bad. I am so bad at God. Like my swing. People say they're bad. I am really fucking bad. Like, Charles Barkley would, would giggle like a school girl if he saw my swing. And if I have a driver, I could hit it 180 yards or 35 yards. And there's no rhyme or reason. There's no what. You know why I would get one more than the other. And like, my Harrison has like a classic smooth baseball, golf hybrid swing, but I'm more powerful, so I should beat him. And I'm beating him by three going into the seventh hole. I'm beating him by two going into the eighth hole. I'm beating him by one going into the ninth hole.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

And I'm like, I can't fucking lose to this guy. There's no way I can lose. And I need to make a five foot putt, which I had not been doing all day to, to secure the win. And I did it. And I was giddy. And he didn't even care that he lost because he's like, you're an old man who's done this. Yeah, you've played all your life. But it got me thinking, like, what age do you have in your mind that you would be okay with your kid beating you at every sport? Like, I think like golf, I would say 19. He would have to be 19. I think basketball, because I'm short, I would say 14. Tennis, around 17, 18 in a race, I would say 16 because I'm, I, I'm fat fast. You know that, Jimmy. So I'm gonna try to hang on fast.

[A]

Yeah, you really are quick.

[C]

Yeah, it's because you have a 22 inch inseam and like your legs are like a car. Like cartoon legs, you know, they just, they get a lot of movement.

[A]

He's saying he's like Fred Flintstone. He goes really fast.

[B]

You guys could slow down on the compliments here, but. No, but. So do you guys have ages for when you, when it's allowable to be beaten by.

[C]

What about boxing?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Well, hopefully I never, I mean, that's.

[A]

The last front there is an actual fight.

[B]

Like Palmer horse 37.

[A]

No, I think everything is before 20. Sure.

[C]

I've been playing chess with Billy and that's another one that I just don't let him win. I just won't. Like, I'm just never gonna let him win. He's gonna have to beat me. Because I feel like when he does beat me, which he will eventually, that it will Be much more exciting and satisfying for him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, sure. But I've had that argument with my wife, too, because I never intentionally lost anything to my kids ever. And my wife made her mad a couple of times. Like, really? You couldn't let Ben win the one Monopoly game? I'm like, well, what kind of lesson is that? Then if he actually wins, he won't know that he achieved the win.

[C]

I'm with you on that.

[A]

Letting him win does nothing but physically.

[B]

Get worse, though, right? Isn't that, like, I don't know, you lose your vulnerability a little bit, I would think.

[A]

Like, what is the bigger ego blow for the dad? I think losing a race would be number one.

[B]

That's tough.

[A]

Like, when your kid's faster than you. Like, fundamentally, the most primal thing you could do other than fight is race somebody. And the moment they're faster than you, I would think that's like both. They're faster than you. And also you'd feel old.

[B]

It's all bad. If Ben beat you in tennis right now, how mad would you be?

[A]

He never beat me because I would. See, I would psychologically just. I would make him mad. He would melt down. Like, tennis is the easiest sport. Somebody can be better than you, and you can still beat them because you just have to fuck with them.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

I always do feel like you have the edge over your little brother or your. Whatever it is if you have that childhood edge over them that you always maintain it in some way.

[A]

Yeah. If you know where the pressure points are, you can go like, my wife plays tennis six times a week. I could still beat her anytime we play because I can always get her rattle and I can do stuff.

[C]

When I was dating Sarah Silverman, she lived at a condo complex that had a tennis court. And I was just like, oh, why don't we. We never, you know, we've never pulled. You got a court at your house. We should play. She's like, yeah, you're right. So, you know, I get my tennis racket and she gets her tennis racket and we go down to the court and we play and she beats me. And that was the last time we ever played.

[B]

Okay, so does your ex girlfriend have to be before.

[A]

Yeah, that's ok. Yeah. Chess is a good one. Scrabble was always fun. Like, the board games are the ones.

[B]

Scrabble when your kid can be 85. Yeah. Jimmy has too much of an advantage on so much stuff.

[A]

We did sneakers for rewatchables for Monday with Robert Redford, and there's a big Scrabble scene in it. And we were talking about whether Scrabble is still as relevant as it was when they made the movie 92, when it was completely one of the most relevant board games. And the argument my co host made was that it still is completely relevant. I have no idea.

[C]

More so if you count Words with Friends as Scrabble, which. Which it is, you know, because a lot of people play Words with Friends and it's Scrabble. It's just a slightly different shaped board. So yeah, that's Boggle's the next thing. I've been playing Boggle on the toilet for quite some time now and they actually ruined the app on the iPhone. It stinks now. But I've been seeing Boggle in the. In the future. And then I was at this event last week and Netflix is putting Boggle on their platform as a game that you can play against others on TV through your phone. And I was like, God damn it, I knew it. I should have gotten in on the. Some kind of Boggle stock or something.

[B]

Are they gonna air people on the toilet playing each other? How does that. Or you just.

[C]

Yeah, you go to a public restroom and you line up and you tap toes and then you know that it's time to play.

[A]

I did have a bone to pick with Jimmy. He went on Colbert show and he told this story about when he found out his show wasn't gonna air, but he was in the bathroom when he found out. And there were natural follow up questions that Colbert just didn't ask. And I just feel like if there's a career type thing that happens to you when you're in the bathroom, this is your exclusive home for those stories.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

And you forgot that and hurt my feelings.

[C]

Well, everything big happens in the bathroom because it's the only place where people can't hear what I'm saying. And to be honest, I'm not even sure that that's the case because I've never been out in my office while someone was in the bathroom talking, so. So I should probably test it to make sure it is soundproof.

[A]

Your bathroom.

[C]

I think it's soundproof, but I don't know for sure. But you know what? I do because I have five guys in my office. When I have to take a call that's private, I go in the bathroom. And so. And it's weird.

[B]

I think it's soundproof. Cause they would tell me if they could hear you. And they're just always like, something's up, something's Up. I know, yeah. So you're good.

[A]

Well, when I worked for you and, and I started coming in and helping you out in the office every day and I was the one person there, and then you would go in there for a while and get a lot of stuff done. And I just got used to it after a while. It seemed totally normal to me. But I thought that was where you got some of your best work done.

[C]

I do often tell people that you credit me with inventing, taking the laptop onto the toilet.

[A]

Well, you were the first one I'd seen with the laptop desk. You had an actual desk so the heat from the laptop wouldn't sing. Your privates picking up before we go. Wait, so you're going to Ireland, Jimmy?

[C]

I am, yeah.

[A]

With the fam. But we did have to. We had to say something about our friend Alex who passed away this year.

[C]

Yeah, Alex Wallow, one of the all time greats. He was the president of ABC when we started there and was really our biggest champion and supporter. For whatever reason, we took a liking to each other right at the outset. And Alex, Alex passed away at 81 years old.

[A]

He.

[C]

He got. He was diagnosed with stage four cancer in 1987.

[B]

Crazy.

[C]

He had six months to live in 1987. And he was the toughest guy and the funniest guy. You know, Al Michaels was one of his best friends. And I don't think he'd mind me sharing this story because Al was at his bedside this week when the great Alex Wallow passed away. And he said, he. Al said, I took his hand and he said his hand was really strong, like really for a person who, you know, had hours to live, he was really strong. And Alex, at this time, he wasn't particularly verbal. He'd only said like a word here or there. He's semi conscious, he's laying in bed and he takes his hand and then Al puts his hand on top of the other hand and they got four hands kind of holding each other. And Al kisses Alex on the forehead and Alex takes his hand out of the pile and he points to his lips. He wants Al to kiss him on the lips. And so Al kisses him on the lips and Alex says, what a way to go. Wow.

[B]

That'S amazing.

[C]

I know all you need to know about Alex because he was always funny no matter what was going on.

[A]

Yeah, he was a huge champion of the show in the early days, up.

[B]

Till his very last day. Yeah.

[A]

But I mean, when we really needed somebody in the early parts. Yeah, I got the show too fat Right.

[B]

You give you shit about what?

[A]

Every time I ran into him, he would read the column on the pod. And every time I ran into him, he was just. It was like we had had a seven minute conversation before. The conversation were about that. He was just right into like, I can't believe you said that about Eli. And then he's just in and he'd be going, and Jimmy, I think for Christmas one year, took all these. Alex was yelling at me about something.

[C]

For about 15 minutes. It was something.

[A]

I think I made a joke about Al in a podcast, and he was furious about it and he was just berating me about it in a good natured way. But. And Jimmy was so delighted, he just started taking pictures of us and then made this collage photo frame thing that he gave to me that I still have. But he was a. Alex was a man of passion. Like, he really. When he was riled up, he was riled up. Yeah. And he was an amazing boxing guy.

[B]

I mean, he was one of the first great boxing kids. Like, I knew. I didn't know before me.

[C]

Yeah. Boxing analysis and interviews in the ring. And then somehow became president of the whole network, which. Yeah, I still. I still don't understand how it happened. You know, it's just. I don't think he ever really understood how it happened either. But he was just a great guy and his wife Martha, a great person. They're really, really strong people with a great marriage. And he was the best.

[A]

Yeah. Good one. Really good person. I know. Great career, cool guy. All right, Jimmy.

[B]

All right, now let's do Diane Keaton.

[C]

I mean, Diane, she was pretty great, too. I got the sense that Diane Keaton had a little crush on me. To be honest, I remember that.

[B]

That was fun.

[C]

My last couple of appearances and the feeling was mutual.

[B]

Yeah, There you go.

[A]

Is there an All Star team of. I had a feeling they might have had a crush on me.

[C]

Well, you know, it's not a full five. I mean, I. You could call it an all star, but there aren't many on the list and most of them are men.

[B]

Al Michaels kissed him on the mouth once.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Today's Pear Corner presented by Uber Eats. Get almost anything for game day. Like your favorite game day foods, drinks and snacks on Uber Eats. The official on demand delivery partner, the NFL. Order now. Jimmy, anything to plug your late night show. Any news? Any agent news? Do you still have an agent?

[C]

I still have a job, which is good. I don't have an agent. I have a manager who's crazy.

[A]

Manager.

[C]

Yeah, so I heard.

[A]

Sal, do you want to tell the Brooklyn parking space story?

[B]

Jimmy didn't even know about that until I told him. Our Jim's publicist, Louis K, was all up in arms. Because when Jimmy, you did the show at the BAM in Brooklyn, Jimmy Kimmel Live, and then had immediately traveled to.

[C]

Do Colbert's show, it was Tuesday night. Colbert's on my show, and then I'm going to go do his show. So he has to change his whole schedule around, you know, to do this, and I have to race. And it's an hour's drive from our studio in Brooklyn to his studio in midtown. And what happens when we get there? So.

[B]

Well, Baby had taken your. You know, they're very. You know, obviously this is a highly charged time for you, and they want to make sure that when you're outside, you can get right into the studio. And so they had a parking lot set up, a parking space that would require about 10 steps. And baby Doll swept, swooped into that spot and took it from you. And I think you had a park at least across the street, and maybe.

[C]

Now a little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But he didn't care. He didn't really. He wasn't remorseful at all.

[C]

That's the thing. He has no shame.

[B]

Yeah, there's no shame.

[A]

He at least moved the car. So when you left the show, they moved the car.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. He. He had to give up his keys. He wasn't happy, apparently. But, yeah, that's what happens.

[C]

That's a baby for you.

[B]

My name is Chuck, and I don't give a fuck.

[A]

And as. As all this stuff was happening in your career, he was. He was handling it from the streets of Martha's Vineyard.

[C]

He was. Were it not for Zoom, I don't know that I would be employed today.

[A]

He said it was 20 hours a day. What was the actual number for him? He said it was 20 hours a day for him. Was the number he quoted.

[C]

I don't. It's hard to say because a lot of it was him talking to other people. It couldn't have been, because there's no.

[B]

Way it was 20 hours, because it couldn't have been.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, there's 24 hours in a day.

[C]

So he did tell me 20 of his wife, Tanya. He goes, you know what? Tanya has been great. Tanya has been. I really. I really. So understanding. She's been so great. And I'm sitting here thinking, like, great. You're. You're still in Martha's Vineyard. Like, you're still going to this wedding. I'm in. I'm in turmoil right now.

[B]

No, but she let me during the cocktail hour. You know, they're handing out the nice pigs in a blanket. But I got out to make a 10 minute phone call, so, you know, she understood.

[A]

So was he like on speakerphone during some of these huge meetings? Like, how did this work?

[C]

Zoom. Yeah, yeah, Zoom. So we could really see him. But even the zooms were like, he's in a place that's just ridiculous. You know, like clearly. Clearly, like out of his vacation home. He is like nine shades of tan. He is so tan you can barely see his face. Like, just barely.

[A]

Just to lighten the zoom so you can actually make out his features.

[C]

In our big meeting, he was wearing a white shirt and he was like burnt umber. And you just really could only see his, like a little bit of his eyes. And then of course, if on the occasion he would smile.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

See his teeth and then a little flash of cigarette.

[A]

Oh, man. Right. It's like a little drift of smoke.

[B]

That's when I need to pull up with marinara sauce. Whenever he's wearing a white shirt, it just gets me crazy. Yeah.

[A]

Does he. Does he speak more or less when he's on the Zoom than when he would in person during these gigantic career meetings for you?

[C]

It depends who it's with. If he feels they're above him, he speaks less. If he feels they're beneath him, which is almost everyone else, he speaks the whole time.

[A]

And do we know what wedding he went to that weekend that he couldn't fly back?

[C]

His daughter's friend.

[A]

Okay, Daughter's friend. All right. I'm glad we saw that. Was it like a top three friend? Was it a college roommate?

[C]

There's a lot of daughters and there's a lot of friends.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Glad we settled that. Jimmy, have a great time in Ireland. Great to see you, cousin Sal. We'll see you in the ringer on the Ringer gambling show. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, ringer Sunday, pregame on Sunday, and then back here next week. Jimmy, thanks so much.

[C]

You guys watch games and then talk about them, and that is your actual job.

[B]

So it kicked off at 6:30 this morning. They put these games in London. It used to be one a year and now it's like six. Six straight Sundays.

[A]

They do 14 straight hours of football there.

[C]

Jimmy, had you known, maybe you would have chosen a different sport.

[B]

You're right. Yeah. You're right.

[A]

Boggles would have been great. All right, bye, guys. Great to see you. All right, I'll see you next week.

[B]

Good job.

[A]

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