Darnold Does It, Snow Game II: Mile High, Pats-Seahawks, and the Wild Taipei Climb With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast — Jan 26, 2026

Episode: Darnold Does It, Snow Game II: Mile High, Pats-Seahawks, and the Wild Taipei Climb With Cousin Sal
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Cousin Sal

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Episode Overview

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal break down a loaded NFL Championship Sunday, highlighted by Sam Darnold’s unlikely redemption as the Seahawks beat the Rams and the Patriots’ blizzard win over the Broncos to set up a Pats-Seahawks Super Bowl. The two hopscotch between game analysis, gambling talk, NFL history, memorable plays, and classic banter, weaving in cultural references and detours about Netflix’s wild Taipei building climb and bad beats in sports betting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: NFL Championship Recap

• [01:13–02:30] Bill sets up: Seahawks edge Rams in a thriller; Patriots win a defensive grind in a Denver blizzard.
  → “My beloved Patriots won the AFC title in a blizzard. They didn’t give up a point for 55 minutes…” (Bill, 01:13)
• Early banter about Patriots as villains and the potential for America to rally against them in the Super Bowl—despite them being underdogs.

2. Patriots Narrative — From Underdogs to Villains

• The Pats’ unexpected run with Sam Darnold as a new redemption story; echoes of Jim Plunkett, talk of “Malcolm Butler revenge game” and the worst Super Bowl losses ever.
• [03:03–04:39] Cousin Sal jokes: “It’s like 30 tuck rules in a row… football gods building heat for the Patriots, trying to make them hated again.” (Sal, 04:02)
• Ownership talk, Kraft's legacy, and the transformation from team black sheep to perennial contenders.

3. Seahawks-Rams: Darnold vs. Stafford Showdown

• [05:32–13:58] Game felt like two distinct sports compared to snow game; home field impact; Darnold shines against Stafford.
• Odds-defying moment: Who would’ve guessed Sam Darnold-Matt Stafford would be the rivalry? “What would the FanDuel odds have been for Sam Darnold vs. Matthew Stafford being our best quarterback rivalry in the 2025 season?” (Bill, 08:45)
• Both QBs go over 300 yards and 3 TDs.
• Big-time receiver performances: JSN (10/153/1) and Puka Nacua (9/165).
• Insights into receiver rankings, playmaking (“JSN...doing stuff along the sidelines where you think he’s going out, and he’s tiptoeing down for another 8 yards.” — Bill, 13:05).
• Special teams meltdown for Rams: muffed punt pivotal.

4. Officiating & Taunting Penalty Debate

• [17:58–22:22] The controversial taunting call on Woolen: both hosts scorn how such penalties can swing such big games.
  • “Who cares? The fans don’t care... This is why they do training camp!” (Sal, 20:39)
  • “It’s the same sport where after a turnover all the defenders can run into the end zone and do snow angels—so that’s not taunting?” (Bill, 21:17)

5. Game Management, Coaches & The McVay Era

• [24:08–30:14] Dissecting Rams’ playoff near-misses, McVay’s run, and Stafford’s future at age 38.
• Concerns about Puka Nacua’s durability: “…not going to be a 15-year career for him.” (Bill, 30:03)

6. Patriots-Broncos: Snow Game II at Mile High

• [33:04–47:20] Deep dive into the AFC title game. Pats finally win in Denver playoff snow game.
• Peyton’s costly fourth-down decision to pass up easy field goal scrutinized.
  • “Take the points. We couldn’t do anything.” (Bill, 35:39)
• Sal’s classic comic relief, eating pizza during Bill’s gloating.
• Vrabel’s “MacGyver” coaching: game-management lauded, especially after years of post-Belichick malaise.

Memorable Mickups

• “You outwit a 5-year-old when you put a coin behind his ear…” (Sal, 45:02 on beating Stidham)

7. The Sam Darnold Redemption & Jets/Vikings Angst

• Darnold thriving in Seattle; Jets and Vikings fans left to wonder “what if”.
• “Jets fans, a miserable Super Bowl.” (Sal, 11:06)

8. Patriots Defensive Identity & Super Bowl Matchup

• Defense cited as key: “In 2001, defense has given up 26 points in 3 games.” (Bill, 43:53)
• Recipe for beating Seattle: “I think the recipe would be a little like ’01... Keep it down. There’s a really interesting Darnold element… the Patriots are the team that ended his Jets career.” (Bill, 48:30)

9. Super Bowl LX: Guess the Line & Outlook

• [57:38–58:44] Both nail Seattle -4.5 as the opener; over/under at 46.5.
• Patriots cast as big Super Bowl underdogs and “nobody believes in us” team.

10. Broader NFL, Coaching, and Ewing Theory Chatter

• Mike McCarthy (Steelers’ new coach) as underrated, comparing top coaches (McCarthy, Harbaugh, Payton, Tomlin); coaching legacies.
• “Malcolm Gladwell Blink Test” — can you picture Sam Darnold holding the trophy? Consensus: Maybe, but Dilfer remains weirdest trophy-holder.
• Josh Allen’s “Ewing Theory” candidacy—maybe Bills get better if he gets hurt and a backup goes on a run?

11. Fan Trauma & Email Bag

• Falcons fan talks about raising a generation scarred by 28-3; Bills and Falcons fans’ sports trauma analyzed (“My 9 year old cried for 45 minutes in his Matt Ryan jersey…” — listener email at 67:55).

12. Building Climb on Netflix — Banter on the Insanity

• [79:00–87:23] Both marvel at the Taipei building climb streamed live (“I think it was the craziest thing I’ve watched that I didn’t know was gonna be crazy since that David Blaine special…” — Bill, 79:43)
• Vivid discussion of acrophobia, the existential question of why people risk their lives, and comparisons to Evil Knievel and old TV spectacles.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sam Darnold’s journey:
  “Darnold was good. We destroyed him. We poisoned him. We had him swimming in our poison pool and he got poisoned and he got out and learned to swim again.” (Bill, 10:54)

• On taunting penalty absurdity:
  “Who cares? The fans don’t care. The people getting taunted don’t care … This is why they do training camp.” (Sal, 20:39)

• On Patriots’ Super Bowl chances:
  “Let’s rank the worst Patriots Super Bowl teams. I’ll make it quick. Number one is this year’s team. Twelve-way tie for number two.” (Sal, 48:18)

• On the Netflix building climb:
  “He was so comfortable just being like, ‘Hey, whoa, look at you!’ I was having an absolute stroke. I couldn’t handle it.” (Bill, 82:16)

• On sports heartbreak:
  “These people are going into the world ... This September. Maybe they don’t trust anybody.” (Sal, 68:56, reflecting on traumatized Atlanta fans)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:13–04:39] Setting the day & Patriots Villain Narrative
• [05:32–13:58] Seahawks-Rams recap: Darnold, Stafford, WRs
• [17:58–22:22] Taunting penalty and officiating debate
• [30:14–33:04] Rams-McVay legacy and future
• [33:04–47:20] AFC title game: Pats-Broncos, Vrabel, Peyton blame
• [47:20–54:48] What carried Patriots—a gloating segment about defense and coaching
• [57:38–58:44] Super Bowl LX: immediate reaction, Guess the Line, Vegas talk
• [61:16–66:25] Coaching carousel, Ewing Theory, Darnold as underdog
• [67:55–68:56] Listener email: sports trauma stories
• [79:00–87:23] Wild Taipei Climb: Netflix spectacle, heights
• [87:46–89:52] Comedy: Best of Mad Dog Russo, betting promos, and sign-off

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Final Thoughts & Tone

The episode was dense with football analysis but lighthearted, irreverent, and laced with nostalgia and relatable sports pain. Simmons and Sal’s chemistry keeps it vibrant even through rants, running jokes about New England hateability, surprise Seahawks love, and the eternal pain of sports fandom. Epilogue nods to the anxieties and joys of passing sports and culture on to the next generation, alongside a dose of pop culture insanity via Netflix’s wild building climb special.

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For those seeking a blend of detailed NFL analysis, historical perspective, and high-level sports-banter with just enough emotional trauma to keep things real, this episode is a must-‘listen’—or, after this summary, a must-read.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[A]

Super bowl lx. I'm going to try to calm myself down. We are taping. Cousin Sal is with me. We are taping. 7:00pm Pacific Time. Just watched an awesome Seahawks Rams game. My beloved Patriots won the AFC title in a blizzard. They did not give up a point for 55 minutes and won 10 to 7. And then we had a really fun football game. I'll let you pick Sal. What do you want to start with?

[B]

I mean, I, you know, they're saying me having to listen to you gloat is perhaps the most courageous. It's the most courageous 90 minutes ever aired on Netflix. Calling me the greatest athlete ever. If I could put up with it, I would.

[A]

Yeah. You. You enduring this versus the guy climbing a giant building in Taipei.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

It's like. So you're saying it's like 50. 50.

[B]

I think it's close. They'll both be about an hour and a half. Right. By the way, I lost money on that. I parlayed Justin Gaethje with the guy to not I. I bet him the fall, basically. But so anyway, I had to dig.

[A]

No, you didn't.

[B]

No, no, no. It hasn't gotten that bad, Bill.

[A]

I can't. We got to talk about that at the end. I can't wait to talk about that thing yesterday. Let's. Let's go. We have a Seahawks Patriots Super Bowl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I think America is going to warm up to over the next two. First of all, the villainous Patriots are back. Even though this is a precocious, overachieving team. Pat says the Underdogs flashbacks to 01 Sam Darnold Redemption. This is one of the great underdog stories in the history of the NFL. I think this is if they win. He's up there with Jim Plunk and all that stuff. Malcolm Butler revenge game. The worst super bowl loss. What was the worst super bowl loss, in your opinion? That one or the Falcons 28 to 3.

[B]

Is so hard to beat. I mean, Bill, it's not like the Bills dominated the Giants, but that nor would wide. Just knowing what happened afterwards the next three years was bad, too. There've been some bad ones, but 28. 3. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're part of.

[A]

That was the worst collapse. The Butler one was, I think, the biggest. Holy shit. Wait, we're not about to win the super bowl and we just lost. Yeah. And then the Norwood was, I think, the. Probably the hardest kick in the nuts.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's where I would land on those three. Yeah, well, we have that. So it's a Malcolm Butler revenge game. And we have Vrabel basically becoming Belichick. I mean, this is like watching when Hulk Hogan left WWE and they were just trying to replace him. It would have been like, if we had actually replaced Hulk Hogan, maybe that wouldn't have been a great idea. And then Drake with a chance to position himself as the next guy, even though he wasn't good today, but to emerge. Josh Allen never made a Super Bowl Burrow made one. Mahomes won a few, but could he move into that pass? So what other. What other storylines are in there for you?

[B]

I don't know. I think you're dead on with. I was kind of thinking about him, like, man, this is such a bummer with the Patriots. This is like 30 tuck rules in a row, which is 30 for 30 tuck rules, the way they got to this position here. But then I'm like, all right, maybe this is, you know, the football gods trying to build some heat for the Patriots, trying to make them hate it again. Oh, they got there with the easy schedule. You know, Mac Holland's proven to be a pregame sociopath and variable, is unlikable. And I haven't even mentioned the alleged criminals on your team, but it's building heat. Like you just slam Snook over the head with a coconut. Congratulations.

[A]

I mean, Kraft interjected himself into the Vrabel post game. You know, Vrabel's giving this great speech. He's calling them Warriors. He's telling them, basically, we have one day off, then we're about the next game, trying to win it. And he's about to bring everybody in. And Kraft's like, if I can interject and comes in and does the game ball thing. But, you know, Kraft's on the team for 32 years. This is his, I think, 11th AFC championship. Cause they won in 96. The AMC.

[B]

I think it's 13, isn't it?

[A]

13, I think, for Kraft.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

This is his 11th trip to the Super bowl team.

[B]

13Th.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. Amazing. Because I remember when he bought the team, you know, we all thought I was living in Boston. We all thought they were going to move to St. Louis. Then it seemed like he might buy them and move to Hartford. They were the black sheep. But I've talked about all this.

[B]

It was a good purchase. It was probably a smart part, really.

[A]

Worked out for him. And it didn't seem as smart this decade after Belichick left and it looked like we were just going to have a steady stream of Mac Joneses and those type of guys. It was going to be disappointing. We were going to stink. And that's not what happened. Why don't we talk about Seahawks, Rams first? Sure. Because that just happened and I have more in the moment thoughts. I'm more prepared for the other game.

[B]

It really felt like two different. Right. We were watching different sports right between the early game and the, like. It was like our parents playing pickleball in the morning versus, like, the Aussie Open semifinals at night. Yeah. But.

[A]

Well, I was thinking, like. And did we talk about this last? I remember talking about this in my podcast with somebody. Like this weather variable we have for football, which we were just used to. And it's kind of insane that a blizzard basically decided this Patriots Broncos game and then you watch the next game. I don't know what the weather was like there, but at least the field was clear and people could see who they were throwing to it. It was like, oh, yeah, this is a completely different sport.

[B]

Yeah, why don't we add fire? Might as well add fire to the first game, too.

[A]

You have to, like, put a moat in midfield or something.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I watched this entire game. I had no idea who I wanted the Pats to play, really, for most of the three hours. And I was texting. I was. Multiple Pats fan threads. I was texting with my dad. My dad was just confused. He's like, I don't know what to root for. He got bouncing back and forth. And I think. I think ultimately I'm a little happier that it's the Seahawks, because I think all we've done is see them at home. Darnold was incredible today. Now it's going to have two weeks of Sam Darnold puffing smoke up his butt. But I just thought the Rams were so scary. And honestly, that fourth and four was basically the game. Right.

[B]

Crap.

[A]

They get that.

[B]

Sorry, did you see this? Just came in. Sam Donald got his right arm caught in the door of the team bus. They have to.

[A]

It's another one.

[B]

They have to amputate. But he's willing to play left Handed.

[A]

After the Bo Nix thing. I'd believe anything.

[B]

It's another break for you guys.

[A]

Good.

[B]

The fourth and four. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well it's just it felt like these two teams were even. But when you throw in the home field maybe the Rams were like an inch better but I honestly both of these teams are better than the Patriots. For the Patriots we haven't done guess the Lions. I've not seen the Lions but there it's at least going to be over a field goal for the Seahawks. But I think it would have been either team. Do you think the line would have been any different depending on who won? Because I think it probably would have.

[B]

Been the same unless there was like a blowout in this game and it seemed like there wasn't going to be until. I mean it could have been two scores if not for that crazy taunting. I don't know in what order you want to want to hit this but. But no. If you saw a close Seahawks Rams game it was probably going to be the same line against the Patriots.

[A]

I had a couple things I want to hit. We'll start with Darnold versus Stafford. So they had that 38, 37 game which was probably the best regular season game of the year and ironically swung the home field for this with that crazy two point play. I can't believe if we had done this in August when we were doing the preseason guest alliance and all the futures and stuff, what would the fanduel odds have been for Sam Darnold versus Matthew Stafford will be our best quarterback rivalry in the 2025 season?

[B]

Oh wow.

[A]

Because that's what ended up happening. Those two guys today and in week 16 played two of the most fun games we've seen all year and really seemed like they were elevating each other and I just the odds of that when they got Darnold, you know, over the spring summer it was like ah, they, they turned Geno Smith into Darnold. Do you think this is their better or worse? Now he's going toe to toe with the guy who's probably going to win the mvp.

[B]

Well don't sleep on Stidham against May because that could blossom into a great, great rivalry. Football teams were 60 to 1 to win the Super Bowl. Your Patriots and Seahawks right around there going in. So for them meeting up I didn't even figure out what it would be. But yeah, they're over. Under was 8 and a half wins Seattle and I wasn't like sold on Darnold. I said you know what? He really didn't have to do anything last week. That game was over in two plays, which makes it. I think it was five weeks before he had a 200 yard game. The oblique. Who knows? So he didn't really prove what he. It's not his fault. All he had to do was run. And Kenneth Walk was amazing last week, but I was like, maybe he doesn't have it in him. He was great. I mean, JSN is terrific, too. We can get to all those guys. But yeah, he did not disappoint at all.

[A]

Darnold didn't turn the ball over, I thought. Had a couple, like, superb throws. The throw to Shahid in the first drive.

[B]

Yeah, perfect.

[A]

Even Brady was like, oh, you gotta hit that. And then they showed the replay and he was like, wow, that was a great throw. That was an A. That was an A throw. Dropped it right over the shoulder. He had that. I thought the touchdown throw right after the. Right after the kick. Kick fumble when he. I think it was Bobo in the end zone, but he kind of threw it a little across his body, had pressure, thought he stepped around. I didn't see the Sam Darnold panic stuff. I have a good friend of mine, Mark Cimino, who's a diehard jets fan and has been pissed that they got rid of Darnold ever since they got rid of him. And actually roots for Darnold by proxy because he knows the jets have no chance. And he's like the most vindicated of anyone. He was just like, Darnold was good. We destroyed him. We poisoned him. We had him swimming in our poison pool and he got poisoned and he got out and he learned to swim again. It was basically the same darling, but he was really good. So jets fans bummed out by it, but also Vikings fans, obviously. That's got to be the other team that's watching this going, wow, jets fans.

[B]

A miserable Super Bowl. Right? Because you're not going to root for the Patriots either. This is awful. Aside from your friend, I don't know how many are excited about Sam Darnold.

[A]

This is the first time the jets fans have felt awful during a Super Bowl.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

That's right. No, it's every.

[B]

Every time.

[A]

So Darnold was 25 for 36, 346 yards, three TDs. And Stafford was over 300 too, with three TDs. But I just thought Darnold was great. And the other fascinating thing was McDonald. So you remember week one, because I had the Seahawks for the division. I had a bunch of Seahawks Overs and they lost week one. And he kind of coached scared in that game. Remember we came on the pod that night and I was bitching about it and I was like, he doesn't trust his team. You gotta be aggressive. They were really aggressive in that last drive. They got that fourth and fourth stop and they had the ball and instead of like being just handy into the line and trying to chew clock, they did some play action. They ran out, they completed some passes.

[B]

But that helped. But. But yeah, that was. Yeah, they weren't. They weren't laying back, that was for sure. And like, they kind of came in spurts, right? Like, Kenneth Walker was great in the beginning. It's like. And then he kind of got lost for a couple quarters. And like, if you've had Kenneth Walker in fantasy, they're like, you had like eight weeks where he had like under 60 yards. It wasn't pretty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then. But then JSN steps in. Like, I know we talk about QB ones all the time. Oh, is it Allen? Is it Mahomes? I think we settled on Allen being a QB2.2 and no QB1. The receivers are really the fun rankings, right. Whether it's JSN or Puka. Once in a while we'll throw Jamar Chase in there when he'll have like 15 catches. But JSN is a man. And going over the middle, he got just slaughtered, that one. That one shot, that long.

[A]

One long when he jumped in the air. Yeah, yeah. He also had a couple of catches that didn't count. He caught that ball under the goalpost. That was seven yards out of bounds. He was 10 for 153 with a TD and Puka was nine for one. 65.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

And they're just clearly the two best. And it's interesting because a year ago you would have said Chase and Jefferson were clearly the two best. These two now, I thought they needed all the catches and all the yards. Puka had a couple. Like he had played in the first half when he was going out to his right, cutting in. Like he was going to cut in almost to do like a button hook or something. And he had a step on the guy and then he veered in front of him. It was like a basketball move. It's like what you do in basketball when you're on a fast break and you have the big man behind you and you want to put him on your hip. He kind of did that with that guy and then went deep and Stafford hit him. But he does shit no other wide receiver does. And then jsn, same thing, like he's doing stuff along the sidelines where you think he's going out of bounds and he's tiptoeing down for another 8 yards. Catches over the middle, catches in the corners. He can go deep. Like those two guys just can do everything. And they're reliable too.

[B]

And they especially Puka. Some D backs have come out and I think the other D backs are mad saying like it's kind of not fair what he's able to do in space. Like it's unguardable. It's not fair. You know, it's like a Euro step or something. But he's getting open and jsn, like you said, dragging a feet in the sidelines. He could come go over the middle, but you know, I want to get into. But Cooper cup had a huge game at third and three with five minutes left in the third, like, you know, converting. Obviously that first down was huge. So they really brought it all. Yeah, all his overs came in 4.

[A]

For 36 and a TD and a really big third down catch looked like a little more explosive. It's funny because, you know, they don't have a backup running back anymore. That guy Holani.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I watch football every week. I'm not positive I ever remember seeing him. I'm sure I did, but he certainly didn't jump out. And then, you know, they had the Bobo and Barner and these dudes, but it's one of those offenses that you never feel. You feel like they just shut down the one guy and you'll be fine. And then somehow darn's a346. They also have an awesome punter who I thought had a couple big ones and was single handedly responsible for that guy Muffin the punt, right. That thing just kept carrying and carrying and carrying backwards and he finally like just. He like tripped.

[B]

He tripped over his own. I do feel bad cause I cut away to the new special teams coach and it's like, all right, what the F is that guy supposed to do? Tripped over his own feet. He can't like hold him up there. But yeah, that is a tough, that is a tough catch to make from your back and. And you figured that was the move.

[A]

You have when you fall. You just have to basically spasm forward and try to avoid it.

[B]

Oh, get out of the way if you can. But I think he was so cooked by then, it didn't matter it was gonna hit him.

[A]

You know, it's funny, when I watch football, I'm always thinking of all the things, like you and I couldn't do when you watch these games, right. Or, like, how many times we would just be knocked out or how much certain hits could hurt. Like today, Ramandre in the first game was running and he was pushing the pile, and it kind of stopped. And then Hufanga came flying in from behind and just, like, nailed him in the back. I was like, I would still be down. Like, they would have. I would be. Pieces of me would be going on different carts. And you watch this stuff and you're constantly marveling. The thing I'm always amazed by is that. Or one of the things is that people don't muff these punts more.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you think, like, these giant stadiums with the lights, a lot of lights, how high it is, and the ball's doing. There's wind, and these guys make it look so easy. And then when somebody actually. And then. Plus there's gunners running at you, like, trying to fuck with you, like they're going to hit you and then cut into the side. And it's weird. It doesn't happen more often. But the irony of the Rams special teams murdering them in a game, this was the problem with their whole season. This is. I literally put them in the manifesto. This was rule number 13. Like, beware of the bad special teams.

[B]

It should be like, you know, you talk about this game all week, these two. These two games, right? And we did on the pregame show, and it's like, we probably mentioned the special teams out of an hour and a half. We probably mentioned it for 40 seconds. And it was a huge. You know, like, some things you can't. You can't, like, handicap, like, miss field goals. Who's going to miss. Who's got the day? You know, two weeks ago, missed field goals were bad, but the special teams, with the Rams, you can almost guarantee that's going to be one play that screws them or they overcome it.

[A]

So weird. McPhers, like, I think everybody considers him one of the four best coaches in the league. Right. How does he not fix this?

[B]

Right.

[A]

This seems like one of those where you just. You do the roadhouse move and you're like, I'm getting the best cooler in the South. I'm bringing Dalton in. Right. Name your price. I'll pay a thousand a week.

[B]

Or just take everyone off the field. Like, don't repurp return funds anymore. Everyone's gone.

[A]

Oh, that would be interesting. Yeah. We're not. We're not trying to block punts or return them. We're just letting them bounce around. This game had great QBs, great receivers. We had multiple goats because we had the Rams puntman tournament. Then we had Woolen with the taunting penalty, which I want to talk about in one second. And it felt like that might flip the game. I thought the announcers were excellent. I thought Brady's comeback player of the year. Is he eligible?

[B]

Oh, really interesting.

[A]

I think he's been really good. I really do. I think he's. Last year and he said it. There was an article written about him this week and he basically said what we talked about last year in the pod. It felt like he was so over prepared. He was trying to work all this information that he had learned all week and was just like doing. And now you feel like you're watching the game with him and he's weaving in his experience when he played and the stuff he was doing about. I thought his best points today was the jsn. The shoulder pads.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was like. When you. When somebody's running and their shoulder pads don't move, usually if their shoulder pads are going like this, you know they're going deep. If they're lower, they're going to stop. And he's like, nobody. Yeah, nobody can read his shoulder pads, which makes them impossible to read. I was like, holy shit. I've never heard anyone say that before.

[B]

Yeah. He's like, shut up, Tom. This is my secret. Don't let that out. But yeah, no, he's good. He's better. He's growing on me. He doesn't get Botox during the games anymore, which I think helps. He could focus now more.

[A]

Yeah, the halftime probably failed. He was as good announcing this year as he was bad at running the Raiders. So we'll see if he can pull out both of them next year. But I thought those guys, I thought they had good chemistry. So we had the cup revenge game, which you mentioned, and then we had the Darnold coming out of it outdoing the guy who's probably going to win the mvp.

[B]

Let me follow. Oh, yeah. Yes, probably.

[A]

Yeah, we had that as well. It'll be weird now if May miss. Stafford was going to win it anyway. But May has been just shaky enough in the playoffs and Stafford was good enough that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Speaking of Shanky, how embarrassed you and Hench going off on Stafford, how he sucks and then. Oh my God. And the Carolina game. Yeah.

[A]

Just being good fans.

[B]

My God.

[A]

That's all I remember. So Seattle threw for 201 yards in the first half kept it going. Let's talk about the big swing plays, the taunting penalty. What's your take? Because I do feel like they were reffing a lot of this stuff differently in the playoffs than they do in week three.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Week three, they're calling that we're now in the NFC title game. They just got this awesome stop. It's 31, 20. They're about to punt. Guy runs over, talks to the bench. The. Of course, the officiating guy they have in the booth, he's got to agree with it. Like, thank God we have those guys just to agree with everything. I think those guys were trying to think of one useful moment. Can't think of any today. Yeah, yeah. They had the one on the fourth and one. Drake may sneak. They go to whoever was there for nothing, offered zero. They could be a taunting penalty.

[B]

They could be AI at this point. I mean, you know exactly what you're getting for that. But, yeah, the. The taunting. My thing is, who cares? Like, I don't care. The fans don't care. The people getting taunted don't care. There's no way the Seahawks were, like, insulted. Like, who? This is why they do training camp. That's why on Hard Knocks, they'll sing songs and embarrass themselves and everything.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, so they could get used to getting taunted because emotions are going to run high in a football game, let alone the NFC championship. So whatever flags are going to go one way or the other. If you get a tug on the shirt, you can maybe call holding. But I don't like taunting at all to change a game.

[A]

I don't know who it's for. I don't know if they're trying to teach sportsmanship to younger people. They felt like something was going out of line. Here's where it falls apart for them. It's the same sport with the same rule that after a turnover or a safety or whatever, all of the defenders can run into the other end zone and fucking do snow angels and stuff. So it's like, that's not taunting, but Woolen getting excited that he just made a great stop and he's in front of the bench and he yells at a couple people, like, I just don't understand. Why do you have these two different outcomes for things that you're just governing? Completely different.

[B]

You could instruct the bench to look away. Don't look at that end zone. There's some stuff going on that you may not like, might hurt your feelings. They're pretending they're Bowling pins right now. You might not be able to get over it.

[A]

If you're more than 20 yards away, you can taunt.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, just look at whatever.

[A]

You can't take off your helmet on play, but yet we see it all the time as the guys are walking off the field. They'll take it off. They don't. I've stopped trying to figure it out. Did you think the Seahawks were the best team in the nfc?

[B]

I thought it was the Rams. I lived and died with them. And I thought actually like, you know, it's like this team. Maybe that Carolina road win wasn't great, maybe the Bears road win wasn't great. But the fact that they're winning these games, you know, means that. I don't know, I just thought they were a smidge better than Seattle. But I have no problem with Seattle going to the Super Bowl. It's the other conference that's sort of messy.

[A]

Seattle had three. I'm not going to ignore that. Seattle had 396 total yards. The Rams had four. 79.

[B]

Wow. And lost. And Stafford was like nifty too. Like he had that Fernando Mendoza type run, right? Like to get that first down. He like had a weird pass to Nakua when nothing was going on left. He was about to get sacked. So it was a different kind of Stafford that we saw.

[A]

I was surprised that they were able to run on Seattle like they ended up doing. As it felt like as the game went along, what did they go for? Corum was 9 for 55. Williams was 10 for 39. Corum's longest was 19. Williams's longest was 11. It's not like they were like getting huge plays. It just felt like they were constantly getting four or five every play. I thought after last week the reason I picked the Rams in this game, I mean, I'm sorry, the Seahawks. I just thought the Bears should have won last week. I didn't think the Rams are good enough. And I thought the Bears left a ton on the table from a passing standpoint, which the Seahawks kind of bore out this week. It really feels like the Rams peaked in the first, I would say three plus months of the season as an all around team. And then as the longer we went along, it just kind of became Stafford in the running game, these in these two receivers. But that was kind of all they had. Everything else was sloppy. Special teams was bad and I didn't feel like they could get stops. Yeah, I mean, that's why they lost.

[B]

It's so close, right? They Lost that overtime, that game on the Thursday night. They win that their home, maybe it's a different story. By the way, 30,000 tickets sold at SOFI today for people to just go in and watch on the large screen. 75% Seahawks fans.

[A]

No, I don't know.

[B]

No, I don't know. I want to get. I know that. But would that be more disgusting than actual Seahawks fans showing up to it?

[A]

Real good. Humiliating.

[B]

Yeah, I want to count on that. If anyone was there, I would like to know.

[A]

Well, if the Seahawks win, this would be the first time they've ever won the Super Bowl.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I heard that last week. Good luck to them. How about.

[A]

Or the second time. It'll be the second time they've won the super bowl because they beat the Broncos 40 to 8 in a game that we bet on. And I forgot last week and you didn't correct me.

[B]

I know. I love Schrager. The suck up. Blaming me, throwing me under the bus. I started the segment saying three of the four outcomes are rematches of the Super Bowl. What am I supposed to do? I don't know.

[A]

The suck up.

[B]

He knows it. No, it's okay.

[A]

Just.

[B]

Just leave Tony Romo alone.

[A]

These. These things happen. You know, I was excited. I was excited that I apologized last week, you know, heartfelt apology to Danny Kelly and the rest of the Seahawks fans, because that really could have come back to haunt me these next two weeks. If you don't even remember we won a Super bowl, motherfucker.

[B]

I don't. Some people is not accepting the apology. A lot of people, Joel McHale, a lot of Seahawks fans, don't want anything to do with your apology.

[A]

Tall John just doesn't like either way. Yeah. He's unhappy regardless. Well, when they. When they played the Broncos, the Broncos were favored, right?

[B]

Yeah, slight, but yes, they were. I'm pretty sure they were favored when.

[A]

They played the Patriots. Who was favored in that?

[B]

I don't want to.

[A]

I'm going to say we were favored. I'll look it up as we're talking.

[B]

It was like three or three and a half, right?

[A]

I thought we were favorite.

[B]

They were going to cover. I don't know.

[A]

That was 2015. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It wasn't it.

[A]

Yeah, I think we were favored. So this will be the first time they've ever been favored in Super Bowl, I guess.

[B]

I'm afraid to say anything anymore. Seattle was minus one against.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think it tic tac'd around a little bit, and I think The Pats are favored at one point and.

[B]

Then the other one. Denver was favored by two. And the one that Seattle.

[A]

We watched that super bowl in a group of people that will probably never gather again at our cousin Jimmy's house.

[B]

The Seattle, the New England one.

[A]

Yeah, that was.

[B]

That was a really tough watch there. Yeah. Anyone. Any masshole you can imagine with?

[A]

We had Affleck and Damon. Tony Kornheiser. Right. Dicky Barrett.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Who else was there? It was just a hodgepodge. It was. It was basically the cast.

[B]

I think.

[A]

Whitey.

[B]

Whitey Bulger. Whitey Bulger came in. They left at halftime, but he was still hiding.

[A]

I think Seattle's really good. I think they've been good all year, and I haven't seen anybody kick their ass yet. Even they have three losses, and they. It's not like the Pats sucked in Week one against Vegas. They sucked in the second half of the second Buffalo game. They kind of sucked offensively for the entire game today. There are other reasons for that, which we'll get into, but Seattle's much sturdier team. That's why I was so surprised to see the Rams kind of go up and down the field on them.

[B]

I think you. Deep down. You can't say it now because now you have, like, a lot of negative mojo for Seattle.

[A]

You know, I think you're happy.

[B]

I think you're happy that the Rams are out of this. I don't think you wanted to see Stafford. I'll tell you what. I think the Rams pass rush was a little better than Seattle's today. And that's you. You know that, too, and you like that.

[A]

But.

[B]

And you don't trust Sam Darnold as much as you do Stafford. So I'm just telling you things, you.

[A]

Know, that's where I landed for most of today, that ultimately, I would rather play Sam Darnold on a neutral field than Stafford and Puka and devontae Adams in their running game. So the Rams, you think, like, the McVeigh stuff starts in 2017. They lose the wild card to Atlanta the next year, they win the NFC title on that ridiculous Saints call. Although it did go to OT, and the Saints did choke lose to the Pats 13 to 3 in a game that nobody could remember four plays from. Can you remember four plays from that game? There was a big Gronk play. Jared Goff was bad enough that they had to trade him.

[B]

I had the over, so I think I might have napped at halftime. I don't think I even saw the.

[A]

Rest 20, 20, they lose to the packers and they end up moving on from Goff 20, 21, they win the Super bowl and they win three straight three point games against Tampa and Brady, San Francisco and Cincy. But then there was a couple they didn't make it the next year they lose the tough Lions wild card game. Yeah, that 1 in 23. And then the Eagles game last year when it felt like they were coming on down the stretch and they had a chance to steal it. So this has been almost a decade now. McVeigh has been pretty relevant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But one on one in the super bowl, maybe it's the length field.

[B]

You know, sometimes home field doesn't matter. Didn't matter in the AFC game today, but you know, could have. If that game's out in Philly, maybe the Rams do win that. If that game's not in Seattle today.

[A]

Maybe they do win three road games in a row is pretty hard. Yeah. So the big question, the reason I brought that up is Stafford's gonna be 38 next year. He allegedly had a bad back this year, although he seemed fine all year. But I just wonder how long he can keep this train together. Right. Puka takes a million kajillion hits. I have no idea how long his career is going to last, but I'm guessing it's not going to be a 15 year career for him.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

You know, 30 giant hits a game.

[B]

If he goes out for any substantial amount of time. This Rams team, even Stafford at his best, is not a 1314 win team for sure.

[A]

Last thing I'll say before we throw the break. I do like the Seattle fan base in general. It's sort of probably my favorite non Boston ones. I always hate. No I don't. I like the basketball team got stolen. I like the Seahawks fans. They go way back to that Zorn Largen poster with the when they're wearing the terrible jeans. Did you have that one in your room?

[B]

Yeah, I remember that one.

[A]

The pleated jeans.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you know, checkered history. And then it all came together in the beginning of 2010s and then they were the afterthought for most of the season. Everybody was so focused on the Rams. Then it was Rams or Niners. People were picking the Cardinals as a surprise team and yeah, I mean you.

[B]

And I made a list of after that Caleb Williams crazy Hail Mary that didn't matter. Like we made a list of like the most in the greatest, most inconsequential plays of all time. Caleb Williams won. That's your main curse catch.

[A]

We forgot about that one in the symbol.

[B]

Yeah, that was, I mean, that might be 1 and 1A those two. So, yeah, these, these poor fans just let them go.

[A]

There was, there was also three minutes where it seemed like the helmet catch, that was like an official curse for the Pats. Like, it was like, we're going to lose on the helmet catch and that we're never in another super bowl in my lifetime. All right, we're going to take a break. We'll come back, talk Pats. No. The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by FanDuel. Playoff mode is on. FanDuel's got it all. Same game parlays, quick bets for jumping in, live offers to boost your winnings every game day. You do not want to miss out on the playoff action. The remaining playoff action we have on FanDuel, download the FanDuel app or head to FanDuel.com BS to get started. 21 plus in President select states or 18 plus in President DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gamble problem. Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats, which has become a good friend to me during the football season. Big news. Aldi is now on Uber Eats, and you get 20% off your first grocery order with code Newaldi 26A L D I 26. So whether your fridge is empty or you're too tired to shop or you just ran out of essential ingredients in the middle of meal prep, don't worry. Fill your fridge in just a few taps and get 20% off your first Aldi order on Uber Eats. For orders over $60, you can save up to $20. Ends February 28th. Terms apply. See app for details. 2001. Maybe it was January or December. I can't Remember. Tom Brady's first playoff win. Round 2 Raiders in the snow. The last home game in the old stadium, which had really had. Why don't you want to take a talk? I'll just talk to the camera. I'll talk to you know what?

[B]

Let me say something because I want to let you have your fun.

[A]

I just want to give the blizzards history.

[B]

You can have your fun and you could gloat. But so that this is. So that this isn't a completely miserable situation for me, I have brought in a prop here. I have a Rosa pizza pie from Bianco Pizza. Can you see that?

[A]

Oh, that looks delicious.

[B]

Well, I know my favorite. Yes. You can't have pizza. My current diet allows for it. So go ahead, you go talk about your snow game. Vinatieri and everything. I'm going to eat some pizza while you do.

[A]

You got the Rosa?

[B]

I got the Rosa. Right, Your favorite.

[A]

You're going to have a. Yeah, eat a slice. I'll do the snow. That looks delicious. That looks really good. So snow game come back from down? I think 10 ugly like this one was where they couldn't get any offense going for a long time. Jon Gruden chokes on, I think second and short, third and short. Doesn't get a first down. Punts back. We get the field goal, Vinatieri and everything starts. This was Snow Game 2. The Mile High revenge. We've never won in Denver in the playoffs. We're own four. Rulon Jones, Jake Plummer, Champ Bailey, 2005. Still mad about that one. Two Brady Manning losses in Mile High. And then it decides to be a giant blizzard today and they go up seven nothing. Jared Stidham makes his only good throw of I think probably the entire day, Hits mims in stride. They end up scoring. Five minutes in the game, it's seven nothing. And I'm just like, I can't believe this is yet another decade where we're going to get our ass kicked in Denver. And then Denver never scored again and The Patriots won 10 to 7. I'll start with Rabel. You didn't like this game?

[B]

I'm going to go there. No, no, no.

[A]

From an entertainment standpoint, the gig's up.

[B]

I didn't like this game.

[A]

From an entertainment standpoint, you didn't like. A lot of people didn't like it. They talked about how bad it was. Let me defend it. If you go back and you look at like Pro football Reference in the playoffs in the 60s and 70s, football was. There were a lot of football games like this where it was like bad weather field position, making some defensive stops, fourth and one plays. Don't fuck up on special teams like really hard field goals. A 45 yard field goal is not like an easy one anymore. And everything is about positioning and not turning the ball over. And it was a chess match and Vrabel won it. And Peyton not kicking a field goal to go up 10 nothing was the biggest mistake of the day by in either game. Take the points. We couldn't do anything.

[B]

Let me say this. First of all, the mix of pistachios and red onion and parmesan, Reggiano, virgin olive Oil. I mean, you wouldn't think it's a great marriage, but it really is better than chocolate and peanut butter. And then the back is so charred and crispy. I should repeat that.

[A]

Another key.

[B]

Does anyone do that for Netflix? I thought Peyton, I'm not going to say that he was happy with the Bonix injury. Of course, it was a big bummer. But I think eventually he convinced himself. He's like, this could be my game. This could be my.

[A]

I am now the hero.

[B]

I'm the hero. You know, there's only a certain amount of games maybe you know of more where the coach is remembered for the game more than the players. I think Parcell's winning Super Bowl 25, the Giants beating the Bills, that was a great game plan. It's parcels being carried off that Peyton himself when the Saints beat the. The Colts.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And this could have been another Belichick's.

[A]

First Super bowl in 01 Belichick title.

[B]

Against the Rams for sure. So I think he thought he's like, I'm going to do this. And I actually believed him when he said, I'm not worried about Stidham. I'm worried about everyone else. That's like a kind of a great way to give your quarterback confidence and not piss off the rest of the team. But I was, I didn't. I had a lot of problems with his game plan. Mainly that there was no trickery involved because you would need it with. With Stidham. But I. You thought that was like a 9010 play, like going forward versus kicking. I thought it was like close. I thought it was 64.

[A]

I could just tell you what my texts were.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I think that was a little bit of a break. Cause they had to measure it first. Right. And I'm watching it going. I pray to everything that they go for this. And I have multiple texts to back it up. Because I thought if they went up to nothing, I didn't know if we were going to be able to come back. Because their defense, both sides, both tackles were already getting annihilated. Right. May look skittish. You know, he looked combination of nervous and like he didn't think he had enough time. Booty was just Patrick Surtan just took him out. First time they threw deep to him, he was running side by side with them. So it's like, all right, cross off that half of the field. Right. And I just thought. And especially with the weather coming, it was like, man, I don't if it's 10 nothing, I don't know if we come back. But I think we can get a stop if it's 4th and 1.

[B]

But if it's 14, nothing, it's lights out.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, don't you think?

[A]

But it didn't guarantee that they were.

[B]

All the air out of it.

[A]

Didn't guarantee they were going to score at td, though.

[B]

Well, I know.

[A]

I don't know. I. Listen, we talk about this all the time in the pod, these fourth and one, and it's like situation says. Yeah, it says it's 72% of the time. Whatever. I think you throw that shit out in a game when there's a fucking blizzard coming in the second half and you have a chance to. Basically, just. Basically, my thing is, what's the final score of the game? How many points do I need? If I'm the Broncos, it's like, I just need to get to 14 to 17 and I win the game. Give me the field goal. That can go 10. Nothing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let me try to get a turnover and sit. So that was one mistake. And then the other one was Stidham in that third down, throwing the ball backwards. Why are you. Why are you putting him in the position to do anything like that? He's your backup quarterback.

[B]

That was.

[A]

He hasn't played quarterback all year.

[B]

I mean, if a guy is. I mean, that's the punter falling. That punt return of falling down, like, what are you going to do? I mean, he should. He should know to get rid of that ball. By the way, can we talk about that one for a second? There's a couple plays, right? Look, he probably deserves to turn it over. Cause it was so awful. Such an awful decision. Such an awful play. But why aren't they stopping that to review it? They first called it an incomplete pass arm going forward, and everybody has to stop. It should have been a. If it wasn't, the Patriots would have scored on a touchdown.

[A]

I. Can I hold you on that, by the way.

[B]

I'm gonna take a bite.

[A]

All year. All year, they've been letting the play roll and not calling it dead and then deciding after whether it was a touchdown or not. That was one of the only times this year I remember them just calling it dead. When it was like, in the moment, I was like, I think he threw it backwards anyway.

[B]

Go ahead. Right? Let it. Let it go. That's fine.

[A]

Let it go. We learned that lesson this year. Could they review it?

[B]

Couldn't they review it? Why is that a lot different? If a guy throws a pass and it's batted down behind the Line of scrimmage. I know that's more. You know, that's more obvious, but couldn't this have been that. Couldn't the ball been going forward and it had been deflected backwards? Should we have looked at it for, like a minute? Can't we just look at it, though? It's a play of the game. Oh, come on. They barely.

[A]

I thought they did, though. I mean, it was clearly backwards.

[B]

It was backwards. It was a bigger bummer because it was deflected, though. If it's deflected backwards, it's incomplete, isn't it? Whatever.

[A]

It's fine.

[B]

It didn't disappoint.

[A]

Whatever. I thought he threw it backwards. Well, it seemed like the Pats were going to get screwed. And then on second down, made as the QB draw that I was screaming for because you could see with the. Their. Their defensive line was loaded one way and it was sitting there. Right. My son thought I was like.

[B]

Had. Had.

[A]

Was like clairvoyant.

[B]

I was like, run it, Run it.

[A]

And then he did the QB draw because you could see, like, Denver just didn't have a guy in the right spot. But those two plays cost him the game because once the second half started, they couldn't move the ball and they couldn't. If I had the lead and the Pats can't do anything, I'm just. I'm doing what the Patriots did in the second half. And this is why I wanted to talk about this, because I thought Vrabel, in the second half, he just managed the situation, right? We have a lead. We don't think that they can go 40 yards. They're not going to be able to kick a field goal that's more than 37, and we don't think they can make plays. I'm not taking any chances. They had that third down. It was third and eight, and May just rolled out and threw it out of bounds like, they didn't even go for it because he didn't want to commit a turnover. I thought that was so smart. I thought he did a great. I didn't think he did a great job in the first half, but I thought second half, he was great.

[B]

That's because he got the version of Jared Stidham that most of us thought he would get this time last week.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like I was talking about, we're talking on the pregame show. It's like when there's two games left, you could really convince yourself during the week by overanalyzing. You know, analysis leads to paralysis that Stidham's not as you know, Stidham, Nicks, it's the same thing. What was interesting though is he had that 52 yard, 54 yard pass to Mims, whatever. Right. And then they call timeout and then I think to give him a trophy or something. I don't know what they did. But then. Exactly. But then they score. So like in Peyton's defense he must have thought all right, this guy's got like more than one first down, left him the rest of the game and not that horrible pass play, whatever drop forward that it was. So he did.

[A]

I wrote in my notes Stidham kind of sucked them in a little bit thinking that maybe he could do a little more. I thought you made the key point on Peyton. This was a hero ball performance by him. Yep. Like if you're actually just trying to win the game, take the points, go up 10, nothing, don't have situm, do anything that could put himself in harm's way for the rest of the game. Until we have proven that we can do a long drive, even the beginning of third half or the second half, third quarter, we have like a 10 minute drive to chew up the clock. I'm going to say we like I'm on the team, you are. And we can't even get a touchdown out of it. We had the ball for 10 minutes. Like we couldn't compete with complete 10 yard passes. I thought their defense was excellent and we had a lot of trouble blocking them and really good.

[B]

But yeah, but you're look the biggest asset either team had on offense was Drake Mays legs in the second half. Right. You're going to scramble for first downs. It looked for a second that Stidham could do the same thing. But what bummed me out about Peyton is you guys had that flea flicker which kind of got you in field to get you in field goal range.

[A]

Yeah, we missed the field goal but it was a good play.

[B]

Yeah. Who's the quarterback that hasn't taken a snap in two years versus who's the MVP caliber quarterback? I think you need some flea flickers in there. If you're Denver, I think you need an end around for mims or something. Something to. Something to juice it up to create a missed tackle or something because they had nothing at all in the second half.

[A]

Well, they were missing two receivers which hurt them because Franklin was scratched for the game. Bryant got hurt during the game. So all of a sudden Humphreys out there in big spots. I think I saw was that Sky Moore out there. There was A Moore. Is that Sky Moore? It is, right?

[B]

Yeah, I think it was Demi Moore. Yeah, they were in trouble.

[A]

I thought they ran out of guys. It was a good matchup and they couldn't run the ball. I mean, the big thing for us is the run defense has been awesome. I mean, the Patriots defense, I know they're going to take shit for the next week, and that's fine.

[B]

Your defense was good. I like it.

[A]

In 2001 defense has given up 26 points in three games.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

They've given up two touchdowns, one of which was this touchdown the first five minutes of the game. The other was that one in Houston off the Drake May fumble or whatever it was where they had to go 10 yards. Other than that, 26 points in three games and pretty close to dominant.

[B]

I had three. Two bad plays in the last three weeks, right. The one the Mims play.

[A]

The right Mims play Gonzalez one last.

[B]

Week like you said. And I don't think any really against the Chargers. No, no big ones. So.

[A]

Yeah, well, I thought Vrabel. It's funny because Belichick, when he flipped stuff around in the 2000s, and a lot of it was like defense, game management, just outthinking the other team. Good game plan, strategy. And Vrabel, ironically, the last game of Brady's career was that Tennessee game when Vrabo outwitted Belichick and it was like, oh, my God, the pupil has become the teacher. It was one of those. And now Vrabel's the coach. And this flipped in a year. We Jared Male last year, who's one of the worst coaches we've ever had in any Boston team. And now we have this guy who I really felt like MacGyvered this game.

[B]

You know, I don't know. 10 points.

[A]

They gave it up. Too much credit.

[B]

I know. You bet. You beat Jared Stum. He outwitted. You outwit a five year old when you put a coin behind his ear and pull it out like, oh, look what I got.

[A]

He on the road in a blizzard and we didn't turn the ball over.

[B]

That's the key, right? Like you, I think your first half would. You have 48 yards in the first half. And then they had about the same in the second half. That difference is you guys were locked at seven. You got the points and you didn't. He didn't.

[A]

Then we got the turn it over third quarter.

[B]

But for God's sakes, 28 quarterbacks beat Drake. Maybe today, 28 beat him last week, maybe 20 the week before, what the worst is going on.

[A]

It was the worst throwing game he's had since the Vegas game in Week 1. I thought he missed seven open guys and throws that he's made all year. Certain broke up that one bomb. That was perfect. He threw another bomb. That was a good one. But he did have the naked bootleg to pinch the game, which they called him.

[B]

And he called it himself, I guess. Right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I sent it to you. I thought McDaniels called it. He didn't tell anyone on the team he was doing it. If you watch the clip, Hunter Henry's blocking his defensive end out to try to keep him from coming toward the line of scrimmage. And meanwhile, May's running toward the guy and Henry's blocking him toward May, but May just audibled it. But for the. For the old school Pats fans, the pre 2001, that was like the famous Grogan play, which he used to do. He most famously did in the 85 season when they went to the super bowl against the Jets. He had like this old naked bootleg where he's like limping into the end zone. And it was always like the Grogan play. And then. So he does that. This team has pieces of that 85 team.

[B]

Did Grogan also have 10 completions in a win? Did he also. I mean, he probably did.

[A]

If you go back to Grogan stats, they were not good. You same as you.

[B]

Like, I'm sorry, you like bringing up Colby in Game 7 against the Celtics. What was he, 7 for 28, 6 for 24. I hate to always bring it back to basketball.

[A]

This.

[B]

This is this head.

[A]

You always. You always do this. I know.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

He wasn't great. The defense carried him. His legs made a couple good plays, and then the naked bootleg. But, you know, I said this last week. It feels like the 96 season parcels last season when it was like, oh, I guess we're in the Super Bowl. I don't think anybody believed it. I think Vrabel believed it. But. But when you look back at who they beat, they beat three top five defenses. Like, I think it's the first team ever in playoff history to beat three top five defenses.

[B]

He was terrible in the three games, though. He wasn't terrible. He had 15 sacks.

[A]

He was good in the second half of the Chargers.

[B]

He took three interceptions. He had took 15 sacks.

[A]

And that's terrible. I'm not going to defend him.

[B]

Okay. But you're going to go crazy about what he did against these three defenses. Six fumbles 15 cents.

[A]

I'm just saying they beat three, three top five defenses. I'm very. Now they're playing another one. 18 piece of pizza.

[B]

I didn't finish the pizza.

[A]

The happiest you were when you're finishing the pizza. Do I think this is a Super bowl team? It's hard for me to believe. We had some in the 80s and 90s where it's like wow, they made it. I love that you're eating like the Titans Rams super bowl that year. It's like the Titans are in. This is weird, but we don't usually have these.

[B]

Let's rank the worst Patriots super bowl teams. I'll make it quick. Number one is this year's team. 12 way tie for the number two. That's all. I'm the same.

[A]

The defense is really good. They were good and they've been with Milt Williams. They've been really good this whole year. So I think the recipe would be a little like 01 where you know they won the Rams game in 01. I think 2017. Yeah. It's probably a score like that. Keep it down. There's a really interesting Darnold element to this that I forgot to mention in the previous segment of the Patriots are basically the team that ended his jets career. See had that ghost game. He never really recovered from the ghost game. Remember that when he said Belichick and he was like I was seeing ghosts out there. And it became a week long Internet thing about how Sam Darnold was seeing ghosts. And I don't know. He gets revenge on that.

[B]

This is no good. They're saying Kenneth Walker got run over by a snowmobile and he's listed as doubtful for the Super Bowl. I mean all good news for the Patriots always not even snowing in Seattle.

[A]

Hench and I were trying to figure out the highlights for the Patriots in this game. Like actual highlights. 4th and goal stop Stidham backward pass. May draw touchdown. The QB draw flea figured to Hollins resulted in no points. Leonard Taylor blocked the field goal. I guess he tipped it. A guy that I didn't know he was on the team. Cause they just added him. Literally didn't know he was on the team. The Patriots punter who was terrible today, like really like he would have been the villain of the game if they lost.

[B]

That's the guy that angles it out of bounds normally, right?

[A]

He was terrible. I mean he's. He. He skunked one. He was just so bad. His last punt was a 33 yard punt with no return. When they're on the 40. And it was actually like he came up a little bit big, so that was fun. Gonzo's interception then the Naked Bootleg wasn't like a bevy of highlights, though I do think.

[B]

Well, by the way, all those runs of the Naked bootleg, all those. The fourth, the one that they converted that he might not have converted, ended up being the biggest run, wasn't it? Like you kicked the field goal after that, so. And they have the eye in the sky. We're never going to know what, what gets reviewed and what doesn't.

[A]

But Stidham sucked for the last two hours. And if I'm a Bronco fan, I.

[B]

Just feel like I would have won that game. He's not the franchise.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not like we don't have a QB controversy in August, but I think I would have. I. I would have left that game thinking we win with Knicks. Like just we win. Nick gets us to. He uses his legs. He probably rushes 10 times. Like, I think Drake was 10 for 65. Right. I think Knicks is probably like nine for 40, nine for 50. Probably extends three drives with his legs and.

[B]

And he's a fourth quarter comeback quarterback. You could say what you want about him, he might have been able. I did like, you know, you talk about what's cool about the weather. Like, Romo was two minutes left. Patriot. Patriot is like, better hurry up. You're going to lose the wind in the fourth quarter. Like I think they did. Maybe did a good job of figuring. Even the sideline reporters were excellent today. I thought, like, just.

[A]

I thought that was the best sideline reporter performance in a while. When Tracy Wolf said the. Watch the snow come into my face now. Watch when I turn, I was like, ah, yeah.

[B]

By the way, they're going to isolate that as a what you just said for sure.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I mean they're going to make it filthy that people, the people who do that kind of thing. What's.

[A]

Oh, you think I'm in trouble now with social media?

[B]

No, no. Watch the snow come in my face. It's fine.

[A]

It's good.

[B]

We can move on.

[A]

I just see what now. I see what you think. Oh, man, Somebody's going to film a winter porn with my face in it. You're cooked, damn it.

[B]

Blizzard. Bill says, watch the snow come blizzard.

[A]

So the defense gave up zero points in the last 55 minutes of the game. Yeah, I thought I wrote that in my notes. The game was like Game of Thrones because they kept telling us the snow was coming, and it was. I've been rewatching Thrones. It was like, winter's coming. Winter's coming. And that was another reason why I can't believe Peyton didn't take the field goal. Because they knew in the first quarter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. They knew around halftime snow was coming in for real when they did that little stop thing. Anyway, things I have left, I think Drake has to probably play two thirds of a good game in the super bowl for them to have a chance to win, which in the regular season, he would play 75% of an awesome game, but he would always start out slow. I think they have to figure out how to start him faster and use his legs, get him involved in the. In the game with his legs, and then for some reason, that opens things up for him. Stidham. Is that it? Do we ever see him start a playoff game again?

[B]

What more do you want?

[A]

Or do you blame the blizzard? Or do you say it's the Blizzard? It was really hard to throw.

[B]

No, I. Blizzard made it hard to throw for sure. But I don't. I don't think we've ever seen anything like that, where a backup comes in and immediately, like. Like. Like, how nervous were you? Like, oh, my God. If we get to. If they do get to 10 or 14 to 17, we're kind of done. Like, I think the agreement with the defense would have been, like, just let me get 23 points. Just stop them from getting 23. Like, no, you needed less than half of that. And still. And then just like, nothing the rest of the way. It's. It was actually shocking. Went from this makes sense to this makes. I. I don't even know what I'm watching anymore.

[A]

So you don't think Stidham's earned himself a $25 million contract? No, no. I think CBS needs to offer Tomlin, like, $50 million a year to join their halftime show.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I don't know if you saw the halftime show.

[B]

Yeah. Rough.

[A]

I would. I would try to get Tom on certain. I think was the only Broncos winner out of that game. We checked. We tested him once, and it was like, no more.

[B]

He was great early on.

[A]

No, thank you.

[B]

You never see a D back, have his head turned. Running for 10 yards with his head turned, which almost definitely, you know, calls off the pass interference.

[A]

If you do that, Pat's ran the ball. If you include the drake may scrambles. 38 for 1, 41. And I think the Rams unlocked a little bit of a running blueprint with the Seahawks because I thought they were over and over again able to gash them in the middle and move the ball. So we'll see if that's a thing. So we have two weeks now to think of the Super Bowl. Have you gotten sad yet that the NFL season's almost over or more sad that the Patriots are back?

[B]

I don't know. It's very, very hard for me to separate those two, but I don't like that I can't make a two team teaser anymore. I guess I could use the, the total and the, and the line. And I, I don't really love the Super Bowl. You got, you know, you're stuck at someone's house. You watch, you got your wife's friend's dumb husband asking you what the spread is every four minutes.

[A]

Can you put a bet in for me? Yeah.

[B]

Can I bet one?

[A]

You guys want to bet this?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know how this works. Can I bet the Rams? Can I bet the Seahawks and the Patriots? Then I won't lose, right? Oh, geez, just killed me. So, yeah, this isn't the best.

[A]

We'll take a. We'll take a break for the podcast. We'll keep going here on Netflix. This episode is brought to you by Firehouse Subs. Who just dropped a game changing sandwich? The French dip. Literally one of my favorite sandwiches slash subs. Roast beef, caramelized onions, melty cheese, little freshly toasted garlic butter roll and the warm savory au jus. I've been eating these forever since I was lived on the east coast in la. I think to me this versus the cheesesteak, the French dip, no contest, way better. And I think it's really because of the au jus. I don't know anybody who doesn't like au jus. An elite game day sub. Fun to order by the way if you want it delivered. Because they usually put the au jus in the special little container you can pour it on. Knock yourself out. The French dip here for a limited time. I wish it was longer. Only at Firehouse Subs. Limited time at participating Firehouse Subs restaurants while supplies last. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by Spectrum Business. Fast, reliable Internet means everything for your business and even this podcast. That's why I trust Spectrum business. They keep companies of all sizes connected with Internet, advanced Wi Fi, phone, TV, mobile services +24.7 US based support. Millions of business owners already trust Spectrum business so visit spectrum.combusiness to learn more. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn. If you've ever hired for your small business, you know how important it is to find the right person. That's why LinkedIn Jobs is stepping things up with their new AI assistant. So you can feel confident you're finding top talent that you can't find anywhere else. The best part is that those great candidates are already on LinkedIn. In fact, employees hired through LinkedIn are 30% more likely to stick around for at least a year compared to those hired through the leading competitor. Higher rate the first time. Post your job for [e-mail] Simmons. Then promote it to use LinkedIn Jobs new AI assistant, making it easier and faster to find top candidates. That's LinkedIn.com Simmons to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Let's guess the line.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I haven't seen it.

[B]

I don't know what it is. I haven't either. I swear I haven't. Now, let me just. Let me set. Can I set the stage? Can I build. Build some heat here.

[A]

Build some drama.

[B]

All right. So where are we?

[A]

We?

[B]

Okay, so after 21 weeks, you are up 11 to 10. You have the lead. I have an opportunity to tie. Tiebreaker is Zoe Simmons takes penalty kicks on us for three and a half hours until one of us gets lucky and blocks one. Or you could win it right here. Even a tie wins it for you. Let's see what happens.

[A]

I have the Seahawks favored in super bowl LX by 4 points.

[B]

This is going to be. It's going to be hard for me to win now.

[A]

What did you guess? You didn't even tell me. Did you guess four?

[B]

I guess four. Oh, you win. You're off the hook, Zoe. The actual line.

[A]

I was either gonna. I almost won four and a half.

[B]

Well, that would have won two Seahawks minus four and a half over under 46 and a half.

[A]

Vegas owned.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Wow. One. Another year. I hit you with a rose of pizza. A hard rose of pizza crust.

[B]

It is damn good. I'm sending the rest to you.

[A]

That looks really good. Well, I had some other stuff I wanted to hit with you before. Parent corner. Mm. A new coach got hired for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and It was Mike McCarthy who was your coach on the Cowboys for a few years.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Am I wrong thinking that's. Now he's an underrated hire, Mike McCarthy.

[B]

No, I don't think you're wrong. Like, I think there's two ways to look at this, right? Like, compared to Mike Tomlin, maybe not better, you know, maybe weighs a little Worse. But compared to the pool of coaches that was available, I think he's, I think he's good. I think he's solid. I think it's weird to take a, a chance on these 35 year olds, you know, and just like, you know, it's, it's. I know you don't want to sign old guys to five year deals, but I think to get a steady guy in there, it's going to be better than rolling the dice, which the Steelers don't do anyway.

[A]

20 coaches have 10 plus playoff wins. Yeah. And only four of them started coaching this century. Mike McCarthy, Harbaugh, Sean Payton, Sean McVeigh.

[B]

His numbers are very similar to Harbaugh. So there's a lot of people who love the Harbaugh, love the Harbaugh hired.

[A]

So McCarthy was 174 and 112, 11, 11 the playoffs and won a Super Bowl. Harbaugh was 180 and 113. It's almost exact. 13 and 11 in the playoffs and won a Super Bowl. Peyton is now 184 and 108, 11, 10 in the playoffs, 1 and oh. In the Super Bowl. And Tomlins, 193 and 114, 8 and 12 in the playoffs won a Super Bowl. So if you just covered those four guys up, you wouldn't know who was who. And yet everyone's like, oh, John Harbaugh restoring Giant. It's like he was about to get fired before lamar became Lamar. McCarthy was on the packers kicking ass with Aaron Rodgers. And then eventually it became, oh, it's only because he had Aaron Rodgers. Like, why isn't that what we say about John Harbaugh?

[B]

Don't get it. Yeah, I think that comparison's good. Yeah, it's, it's Giants fans just getting excited. I think I will say this. If he brings Rogers in. Not, not no personal bias. I know that's impossible to think, but I don't think that's a step forward. Right. If he's guaranteed to have to BRINGGING Rogers in McCarthy, I think that's a couple more years of just nothingness.

[A]

It's a tough one. Well, I think it seems like some of the assistants will get poached because there's still some jobs left.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hilariously, nobody wants the brown strap, which I thought was funny. Couple mailbag questions. This came from Jack in Saskatchewan. He suggests a new manifesto rule. Can you picture the QB holding the trophy? The Malcolm Gladwell blink test for when you're picking the Super Bowl. Seattle has the best shot. Picture Sam Darnold holding a trophy with confetti coming down. Can you see it? Thought that was pretty interesting. Sam Donald kind of looks like Theon Lovejoy.

[B]

Ooh, we are watching this Game of Thrones.

[A]

Yeah, I'm really getting on thrones, but I was trying to think of most unlikely guy who held the trophy. It was probably Dilfer, right?

[B]

Yeah, I think so. Wow.

[A]

Dilfer won the Super Bowl. What just happened?

[B]

Doug Williams. Yeah, those are some weird ones.

[A]

I think Dilfer is probably number one for me. But yeah. So I don't know.

[B]

I can see both of them holding it. I could see maybes wife baking cookies the whole time, handing them out while the trophy's going around. I could see both.

[A]

Seahawks fan named Chris was talking with his friend Ryan about signature celebration dances they would do if they're an NFL player, that would be the funniest. And they decided it would be the tuck dance that Buffalo Bill did in Silence of the Lambs. And then we're wondering if somebody could do that and would they get a penalty. So you'd have to like kind of push. Push your stuff in and do. And do this.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or maybe put the football in. I. I feel like it would be a 15 yarder.

[B]

Yeah, I think so. You think that's taunting? You think that's something the Simon?

[A]

I think that'd be taunting, yeah. You do the tuck dance?

[B]

Yeah, I think Joe Buck wouldn't like that. Yeah.

[A]

Simon in Australia said that I almost threw a no hitter with my OJ Simpson Peyton Manning comp. But then when I said the what car would he be driving? I didn't make the white Bronco joke that was sitting there.

[B]

Yeah, right. Denver.

[A]

Yeah. With Peyton, you know, it's all right. He compared it to Andres Galarraga's perfect game. That's going great. First Blake in Nebraska wants to know, is it time to discuss Josh Allen and the Ewing theory? Hmm.

[B]

Wait a minute. How so?

[A]

He does fit all the parameters. Media loves him. He's considered to be one of the best guys in the league. He's never actually won anything. So what would have to happen is he would have to have some sort of injury next year. The backup would have to come in and then basically do Tom Brady in 2001. And listen, he is on the Ewing theory watch list, I think is fair to say.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's a big part of the Ewing theory. The actual doing it part of it.

[A]

He actually doing it. But I think he is definitely a candidate. Peter Krause was saying how Rams Pat super bowl would be an uncanny 2001 kind of doppelganger thing where the Rams would be the favorite. But that didn't happen. So I don't know if the. I don't know if the Seahawks thing is the same way.

[B]

I gotta tell you, I do think the Seahawks. I think, like, we'll break Netflix records if the Pats lose the super bowl to the Seahawks and we're on immediately afterwards. I think that's going to be like.

[A]

You think that'll be Stranger Things.

[B]

That'll be. That'll be like six Chappelle Sports specials lined up back to back. So if you love the ringer, ultimately, it's good for the ringer. You should root for your team to lose, I think.

[A]

How about I'll eat a roast of pizza if the Pat's a win?

[B]

Oh, do it.

[A]

I'll just do it.

[B]

Pour some extra gluten on February 9th is long enough.

[A]

Seth Morgan sent me this email before the game today. He said he went to a strip mall dive bar in Littleton. Kind of place where only three guys are at the bar talking sports, talked about the Broncos. And somebody said Stidham will be an even more potent threat than Knicks because there's no tape on him. The lack of tape will lead to a 25% Stidham advantage. And if he's 20% worse with the 25% advantage, that might actually give the Broncos an extra 5% chance to win the Super Bowl. Therefore, we are better off with Stidham. Go Broncos. And then he said, shout out to the Littleton Colorado bar. Okay, so listen, that's the kind of thing that happens in a bar.

[B]

I can imagine the Patriots defense like he's throwing it forward or backwards. What are we supposed to do? There's no tape on this guy.

[A]

He's right handed.

[B]

What are we supposed to. Come on, guys. We had no heads up here.

[A]

He told me he was left handed.

[B]

Let's just let it go.

[A]

Tim from Westfield, Massachusetts, wants to know if Stefan Diggs can be called the QB whisperer because Kirk Cousins, Josh Allen, C.J. stroud, all of them blossomed when he was there. I guess today wasn't the day to ask that one. I like it. He's definitely a whisper of something because I think he's on pace for four kids.

[B]

I call him a lot of things.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he's whispering something.

[B]

You think it's because of the easy schedule? I haven't seen the women, but being.

[A]

Able to impregnate everybody, the schedule is harder. It'd be tougher. Miles from Austin via Boston thinks the stars have aligned for the Pats to be a generational Nobody believes in us team because and this he sent this before the game. Bad schedule. Are we sure Drake May's good? They're so lucky. The Rams, Seahawks, super bowl just happened. I am saying there's a lot of nobody believes in us.

[B]

You didn't say it for Denver though. That would have been a time to say I thought you I thought that was going to bite you in the ass for not labeling the Broncos and nobody believes in those teams.

[A]

The straight up pick was Broncos. I thought that line was too high the plus one half but I thought the Pats are annoying.

[B]

Well, it's going to be a similar thing here.

[A]

Here's a question for you from Connor from Minneapolis.

[B]

Hit it Connor. What is it?

[A]

Who was Sal rooting for in Super Bowl L2 aka Super Bowl 52? I imagine him being in a real bind knowing that the deplorable Eagles would win or that he'd have to go on the pod and listen to you go on and on about the greatness of Brady. Which team was a bigger nightmare to win for you.

[B]

I gotta tell you Connor, and thanks for the question really like 8 out of the last 10, 15 out of the last 20 Super Bowls. I'm just a basket case. I don't know who to root for. Eagles. I I had a problem with every play in the Eagles Patriots game. Same with Patriots Giants. I didn't want the Patriots to go undefeated. Definitely want the Giants to win. Yeah, it's disgusting. They had knocked the Cowboys out one of those years. So yeah, I'm this is why this is kind of like the last good week of football for me.

[A]

But you like Seattle though. You'll just go all in on Seattle. You'll do some sort of parlay with Seattle Moneyline with I'll see some sort of adjusted under or something. Ruben Silva said in the Sunday night pod we wondered what rule the NFL would change to help Josh Allen make or win the Super Bowl. We forgot the NFL has already changed a rule for Josh Allen overtime after the 13 seconds game. Right. They changed the overtime rules. So that is fair, right? Last email I'll read from Bill. He said listen to you and cousin Sal discuss the generational disappointment being shared by Bills fans and their children as an Atlanta native. I'm 47, part of the first generation to grow up as an Atlanta sports fan and pass it down, he said. You mentioned age 9 to 10 as being the critical Age for sports disappointment. Consider the 9 year old that grew up in Atlanta and experienced 28 to 3. I have no idea how that will warp them. My 9 year old cried for 45 minutes in his matt Ryan jersey while my youngest proclaimed he's not waking up. Obviously I've saved the video for his wedding. That has to shape a child's character. And then he says this small group of Falcons fans are now around 18 years old and will probably have to be studied and monitored. It's a really interesting one. So you think they're just permanently damaged. Yeah.

[B]

And these people are going into the world, right? They've graduated high school at 18. They're gonna probably. Yeah. This September.

[A]

Maybe they don't trust anybody.

[B]

Yeah, it's a mess. It's not funny. It really isn't funny what we do to our kids. I mean it's not. It's not fun what you do to them either. Just winner after winner. By the way, I'm looking at this. Mike McDonald arrested for public urination on a playground. An hour ago he was by a sandbox. He sentenced to three weeks in county jet. Tough break again. Good for the Patriots.

[A]

Listen, the night's not ever. There was a rumor today on Twitter that got like 2 million retweets or something where the guy said that Bo Nicks actually got hurt in the locker room.

[B]

I saw that nonsense.

[A]

That had to be fake, right?

[B]

Well, we saw him limping around before, right, in the post game interview and everything.

[A]

So Seahawks minus four and a half. The over under is 46 and a half. That seems high. And then futures Darnold plus 130 for MVP. Drake May plus 230 and JSN is five to one, which was one we talked about two weeks ago when he was like 18 to one for Super Bowl MVP. And if, by the way, who wins the MVP, if that was the super bowl today? Seahawks, Rams, who would have won the mvp? Oh, I would argue jsn.

[B]

Yeah, I think so. He had some tough one. It would have been like a split vote.

[A]

Right, right, right, right. The fucking one hand catch. He was amazing.

[B]

Maybe the guy who taunted. That was a pretty big play.

[A]

Well, with the way the Patriots have been playing, if they won.

[B]

No, it's gotta be. Maybe he was five to one last Saturday.

[A]

No, but it could honestly be like Christian Gonzalez at 2001 getting two picks or something. It might be one of those. Who was the guy who won in your last Dallas one? Larry Brown. Larry Brown kind of didn't know who.

[B]

To give the MVP to the Raiders after that.

[A]

Yeah. And then not really a lot of stuff on. We'll have a lot of time to talk about this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you like Kenneth Walker? Wow. His rushing. 80 plus rushing yards. Kenneth Walker is minus 102. They have those number under on that now. That's the hotline, I guess. Oh wow. Maybe is. I'm just doing that for you. 40 plus rushing yards plus 174.

[B]

Yeah. It was so easy today. House was leaning on that. I'm like, yeah, that's such a sexy pick. Drake, man, he missed it last week his over yardage total. But once he got like in the 60s like all right, no kneel downs are going to bring this under. He's good.

[A]

Well, that was the old Mahomes thing we used to talk about every year. Right. That the they used the legs more in the play. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like expecting the leadership of a team captain on the football field, but getting a sea captain. Sure, they're both captains, but who's going to run your offense? You wouldn't settle for just anything for your team. So don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by AMC. You do not want to miss Rise of the 49ers the limited series event premiering February 1st and 2nd exclusively on AMC and AMC. Executive produced by Tom Brady, the docuseries charts the legendary rise of the San Francisco 49ers from underdogs to five time Super bowl champions in the 80s and 90s. It features interviews with Joe Montana, Jerry Rice and Ronnie Lott as well as never be seen archival footage. Rise of the 49ers premiering February 1st and 2nd. Visit amcplus.com to start your free trial now. All right, Parent Corner, what do you got?

[B]

All right, so my son Jack, he's a junior in high school. He's going to be 18 in a couple weeks. And I told you he loves the Steelers basically because of Heinz ketchup. He loved Heinz ketchup when he was young. And then they played at Hines Field for like a year before they changed it to Accushure. And then anyway, he took. He's the pirate, he's the Steelers fan. So I mentioned that there's a local bar slash restaurant that he goes. He wears his jerseys and his terrible towels and he's become friends with these 50 year old men and women. So when they lost to the Texans a couple Mondays ago, he was bummed out. And, you know, he didn't come back with any stories that we were doing the podcast, right. We did an extra one that day. So I was like, hey, you okay? Yeah, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks. So the other day, fast forward to like three days ago, we're on the phone with Archie. My oldest is in college, and we put him on speakerphone and he's talking to the whole family and Jack comes in and Archie's like, hey, I didn't talk to you. Sorry about the Steelers. And Jack is quirky kid. I'm gonna say it that way. He's very quirky kid. And he says, oh, I have a story about that. Like, oh, here we go, buckle in. He's like, there was a couple when I was over at the bar sitting next to this table, and I sit with all these strangers who become my friends. But then there was another table with Steelers fans that we haven't seen before, and someone delivered french fries to their table. And one guy at our table said, all right, the fries are here, everybody go in. And I thought he was serious. And I grabbed a french fryer from this woman and I started eating it and she's like, oh, you're nasty. Those are my fries though. You're nasty. And then the guy was mad at me and he was like pointing at me and I didn't know what to do, so I said, okay, I'll give you $20. $20. And then, you know, and they were still calling me nasty. And then my friend at the table is like, 55 year old guy says, you don't know what you're talking about. And he ends up giving the guy the finger. And then the guy gives him the finger. And then the guy punched him in the face twice. And I took my ginger ale and threw it in the guy's face. And then they got thrown out. And I'm like, what the. What this? Well, this is 10 Days Later. Where is this coming from? You got in a bar fight, kid. You're 17 years old throwing ginger ale on people. What is going on? And Archie's just dying, just dying, laughing. And my wife is like, are you kidding me? This is what we're letting go on here? He can't go anymore at night. I was like, did you get thrown out of the bar? He's like, well, I don't know my status, but I think I'm going to be all right. It was the last game of the year, so we're going to see next year. So this is. This is lunacy, though.

[A]

That's the story of the year. That's it.

[B]

He threw his ginger ale on the guy's face. His friend got punched in the face twice.

[A]

Oh, my God. So Jack goes over to the table and just takes a French fry.

[B]

Just grabbed the fry. He thought it was a community fry for the. Oh, we're fans. You're fans.

[A]

They took it that personally.

[B]

Yeah, the woman was, like, really pissed off. So. And they were, like, yelling at the fan. They were not from in town. They're like, don't come back. Don't come back here again. They said to the woman and her husband. So, yeah, we may need a new place for Jack to watch Dealers games next year. Probably the basement.

[A]

I can't believe that out of everyone in your family to get into a bar fight, clearly I would have picked Harrison first.

[B]

Harrison. It's coming for sure.

[A]

He's got to step it up. He would have come over and, like, punch the guy in the nuts. My parent corner. So my son's at that age where we're just rewatching all these great movies from the past. And we've done, like, we did seven earlier in the week, and he watched Fight Club, and he. Now he wants to watch Heat, and he's just like. He's basically just ripping off the classics. And I get to relive the classics through him and all the swerves. Like, he didn't know. There's the quote, unquote, seven big turn that happens. So we haven't done the Mafia ones yet. And there's some pressure on some of the ones that are coming because I feel like. And he's like, the right ones so far. And this is right around the age when you really get into movies. But there are a couple that I'm gonna get nervous that if he doesn't like them, I'm gonna really be upset about. As upset as anything. Like, if we watch the Godfather. And he's like, that was slow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or if he watches. Or if we watch Heat. And he's like, man, why hasn't anything happened since the bank shootout? I'm just gonna be like, right. So I don't know. There's a lot of pressure here with reliving these.

[B]

You shut your mouth and tell me you're Apex Mountain right now.

[A]

Who does Vincent Hater remind you of? But.

[B]

So you got goodfellas, you got Casino, you got the Departed. Like, what those yeah, we're doing with us.

[A]

We've done everything. He even watched Devil Wears Prada with my wife. Rounders, Swingers, like all. Like the Town. All the classics, but for the mobster ones.

[B]

I wonder what the sequence is. Do you show them Godfather first and then the more contemporary.

[A]

Well, so I was thinking about that. So the sequence, I think is one and two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think you move to Scarface. Almost like a sorbet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then Goodfellas, which he's seen, but we'll watch again. And then Casino. So he's seen Brock's Tale and he's seen Goodfellas. Those are the two.

[B]

He loved us.

[A]

He loved us. Yeah. Yeah. But I am worried there's gonna be one that he's gonna shit on and then we're gonna have like some real tension. But, you know, every time I think I run out of reasons why it was great to have kids, then it's like you get to relive all the great movies with them and you're just running it back and you have amnesia for what you experienced the first time you watched it, and you get to lived through it through them. So that's been fun.

[B]

There's nothing you can do about the. The slowness of some of these movies, though. There's just nothing you could do. We talked about Rocky too, and like, it's like. And even Rocky, like, oh, man, three.

[A]

Is a really hard one.

[B]

Rock. Rocky's one's hard. Three is perfect because there's three fights, right? And they kind of get right into each one of them, you know? But then when you go 2 and 1 cinematically, whatever. Nicer. But for. If you got a 16, 17, 18 year old, they may not appreciate it.

[A]

Yeah, my wife's been gone for. Oh, yeah, she went away. So it's me and Ben. So we're actually like hanging. I'm starting to see the finish line because he's going to college next year and then that's it. You were the genius with having the extra kid.

[B]

Not so fast.

[A]

That was a great move. That was like signing Jared Situm to the backup quarterback deal. Just in case.

[B]

Wait a minute.

[A]

Just in case you need really good backup.

[B]

Not going to be a first down for the last four years.

[A]

That was a great one. The other thing we did last night was we watched UFC at the same time as the Netflix building climb. And also Celtics Bulls was on. So I had the three TVs and it was like just randomly one of the more fun, like, oh, my God, I can't believe These three things are all happening at the same time. The building thing, I actually think was underrated as one of the craziest things I've. I think it was the craziest thing I've watched that I didn't know was gonna be crazy since that David Plain special when he was fucking with all the celebrities, which. Remember how everybody went nuts when that happened. Then he never did it again. Yeah. Smith and his wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I couldn't believe it. And there was a couple like, are you afraid of heights? Because.

[B]

Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. I got a chair in, like, two minutes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm afraid of heights. I didn't used to be, but over the course of the century. And there was a couple. Where he's reaching back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where it was like, the overhang. So you have to reach back and then pull yourself up where you're just like, this guy's gonna die.

[B]

Some weird stuff he had to step into. Like, oh, that looks complicated to have to get your foot out of. Maybe if you can't.

[A]

But he was so comfortable. Just like, I'm gonna take a break and sit on this ledge. And it's like, there's wind. I just didn't understand what I was watching. I almost broke my brain.

[B]

It's great because it's not. First of all, we grew up with Evel Knievel. Right. But there's a lot of buildup for that, and then it's over in a couple of seconds. Right?

[A]

But.

[B]

But it's pretty cool if he makes it. If he almost doesn't make any breaks. Every bone, his body short of that. They've had, like, trapeze artists walk across a tightrope, I think, for, like, 20 minutes or so. But that's the kind of the same thing over and over, I think, scaling a building, you get to see different weird facade. Like, it's.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It was extra, extra gnarly, I thought for sure.

[A]

Well, one of the crazy things was there was people on certain floors, like, taking pictures and waving to them. And it was like, I was thinking, if you were there, you're the same person who almost ended Jimmy's wedding when the wedding cake was coming out, because you saw this chance to push the cake into Baby Doll. And I was thinking, like, that guy, he's climbing up, and you just throw yourself into the window to see if you can rattle him.

[B]

David Blaine.

[A]

Wouldn't that be murder?

[B]

Yeah, I think it'd be a daddy murder.

[A]

I think that's murder. Yeah.

[B]

Jimmy sent me to. When David Blaine was in that tank.

[A]

Remember?

[B]

He was like, in a tank for four days. And he's like, walk up to him with a hammer. I'm like, all right, this kind of sucks. Like, you know. Yeah, I will. I'm not gonna. I can't break it. I. I think that's a felony. That's bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I walked up to him, we kind of. No Blaine a little to our crazy friend Brad somehow. And he's like, no, no, Right? Like, that would have been it. But, yeah, this climbing thing. I don't know that. He's one of the greatest athletes. Everyone's got to make that. That great jump now that he's the greatest athlete we've ever seen. You're gonna put. You're gonna throw him there.

[A]

I. I just had more questions than answers. Like, my son was like, what happens if he runs out of. He had that special powder, like that stick. Em powder. He had that little satchel in his back pocket. It's like, what happens if he's like, oh, shit, I didn't bring enough powder.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now you're like, only four fifths up the wall. And then when he got on the top, which was amazing, and he was just standing there and he was so comfortable, just like, being like, hey, whoa, look at you. I was, like, having an absolute stroke. I couldn't handle it.

[B]

It's a whole.

[A]

I was like. And they were doing these like, I just couldn't handle it. And then it's like, how's he gonna get back down? Oh, this will be easy. He's just gonna rappel down. That seemed terrifying. Every piece of it seemed terrifying.

[B]

Yeah, we had a zip. Do you ever go zip lining?

[A]

I have, yeah.

[B]

I don't know why I did it. We went when the kids at a game, you know, it was in Hawaii, and the ziplining sucks. That was bad for me. I was like, I'm never doing this again. But worse off, there was this bridge that kind of, like, shook back and forth when you walk past it. I laid on that bridge for 40 minutes because I could not move. Like, there's no way it's gonna break. But I'm like, I'm not moving. I'm not going forward. I'm not going back. I don't know how people do this.

[A]

Did you think he was gonna have, like, a little backpack on? That would have been a parachute if he fell, you would think, right?

[B]

You see all these, like, safety nets or safety something, but some harness. Nothing.

[A]

I thought it was incredible. When we were kids, I remember somebody tried to climb the World Trade center or Empire State, one of those in New York on Wide World of Sports. And I don't remember watching it live, but when they would do the anniversary shows for Wide World of Sports, they would always show. It was like, George Willis or name. And he climbed up the World Trade center, and like, this is crazy. He didn't have permits to do this. And that seemed nuts. I think all this. I don't understand it. I don't understand why somebody would want to do this, how somebody could be that calm. Like, it's almost like, is this the right use of this person? If this person is this calm with this much like, how scary this is, should they. It's almost like Good Will Hunting. And it's like, well, hunting. You should actually work for NASA. You're too fucking smart. Like, this guy, should he be flying, like, the scariest planes we have, or do we have to teach him to be a pilot? What. What skills could he add that would be better than just going to the building?

[B]

The parkour guys are especially insane. And I would think that you would have. You'd be nervous that Ben was going to become one of them. He was on his for a second.

[A]

Well, yes, Ben was. I was relieved that Ben was scared. Watching this guy. Last night, I was kind of looking over. My worst nightmare would have been like, this looks so fucking cool. I'm so jealous. No, don't do this. So if he had just fallen, would they have cut the feed?

[B]

I'm sure they had some kind of plan for it. Yeah. They couldn't just show that. That would be bad times. I think. I think they'd have to.

[A]

I'm, like, getting queasy thinking about it now. I can't believe. So we had that, and then ufc, we had Gaethje going against Patty, and it just turned in, and you had the knockout plus 170. But it was just an absolute slugfest that seemed like it was gonna end every round. It didn't. And it reminded me a little of the first Leonard Duran fight where Patty was just trying to fight him and was like, no, no, I can beat this guy standing up. And Gaethje hit again. I don't know how many years now we've been doing it with him.

[B]

I think he's 38 now. I would love to. And we had this with, like.

[A]

It's like, Matthew Stafford.

[B]

Gotti.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's gonna be a quarterback for the Rams next year. He remember Gotti and Ward. And you're like, I Just wish we could watch these guys fight forever. I want them to protect Gaethje's brain because he takes so many shots now. Like, I don't even want to know what that looks like now, but that's a guy I want to watch for the next decade because he just brings it every single time.

[A]

Well, it's a little like Cesar Chavez near the end where he. It was almost like the blows. His brain wasn't even bouncing back and forth anymore when he took a blow.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He never. It seemed like at the tail end he got hurt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Um, the other thing that was interesting was the heavyweight fight was bad and just like what a bad situation the heavyweight division's in compared to where I felt like we were.

[B]

That's another one.

[A]

I started watching it.

[B]

Derek Lewis just holding. I mean, is he still in that ring holding himself like that? That was.

[A]

That was number five against number eight, and it was awful. So I don't. I don't know if. If like Giant people just aren't doing MMA anymore or what was going on, but it was. It was interesting. Paramount weekend, because they had the boxing on Friday. Yeah. And they're clearly trying to like play the smackdown, but it was weird not to pay for a UFC pay per view.

[B]

I know, I know. They had a super.

[A]

This is unparamount.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It's not. The. The way they show the odds is different now. We don't have to get into it, but they've aligned with somebody differently. But anyway. Yeah, I love not paying. A lot of people said this is the first time I'm going to buy. I'm legitimately watching a pay per view because everyone steals for years and years and years.

[A]

And yet I thought the. The climb in the building was more. Was better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like the Celtics were fucking around with the Chicago Bulls game. That kind of neat. Would have been a nice back to back. I was just like watching the building guy having a heart attack. Do you think you could watch that?

[B]

You think you could watch, like, keep watching, like. I mean, they do that once a month and the buildings just get taller and taller. Is there more than a. I think.

[A]

The next one would have to be not a building. I think it would have to be some sort of summit, right?

[B]

Yeah. That.

[A]

To be some. Or some sort of mountain that you're not supposed to climb. Right. Where you have to go like sliced alone. Yeah. Anything else you want to hit?

[B]

Yeah, I did a couple of. First of all, I loved you and Mad Dog. It's the best one. He's on yes. And can I give you my favorite exchange between the two of you? I'll attempt to. I'll attempt to do both voices, probably.

[A]

Guess what it is.

[B]

I never done this before. I was like, all right, here we go.

[A]

This.

[B]

This first one's going to be you. All right, man. Doug, let's talk about the top 10 quarterbacks of all time. I think Elway is in there. Two super bowl wins, but he also had some stinker playoff games. What's your take on Elway? Well, first of all, that. That is an excellent, excellent job by you, Bill. You remember that John Elway's playoff games weren't always great. And he. Listen, he wasn't always Johnny Unitis out there, so excellent job by you. You did your homework. Excellent job.

[A]

And I was trying not to laugh.

[B]

I could hear you laugh. We love.

[A]

We love Mad Dog so much. He was great. We have him on, and I didn't prep him for anything. And within a second, he's like, well, autogram 1955. And he just is, like, banging out 1955 reference. That was good. All right. That's one thing.

[B]

Yeah. Just to have a plug here. Sal super squares on splash, giving out 25,000 in prizes. 10,000 to the winner of a grand prize, completely free. To enter, go to splashboards.com and also, I'm doing a new contest around Bad Beats. Send me a screenshot of your bad beat on Twitter.

[A]

On Twitter.

[B]

And that's it. Every Bad Beat gets a free play on Splash. There you go.

[A]

And we didn't talk about the terrible murder of Alex Preddy in Minnesota, but I wanted to mention how awful that was. And we tried on this podcast, try to steer it towards sports and. And be a place that, you know, is a little bit of a distraction area. If you want some of the other stuff, go there. I thought that was horrible. I remember when we were. We were kids growing up reading about, like, Kent State and things like that. You're like, yeah, how did they let that happen? And this felt like that. And I just don't know how we got to this spot. So I wanted to mention that I thought I was horrified about what happened. I don't want to love Tyburn in Minnesota.

[B]

Absolutely. I'm going to shove pizza in my mouth so I don't say anything wrong. I think Charles Barkley did a good job summing it up, and that was.

[A]

Terrible, whatever he did. Yeah. I don't know what we're trying to accomplish in 2026, but I don't like it. That's it for the podcast, Sal. We are going live on Sunday night. We're going to be doing super bowl props live on Sunday night. Probably like maybe like 6 o' clock Pacific time range.

[B]

Whatever you want. I'll have the pizza for both of us.

[A]

Thanks to Gahao and Eduardo and Chris behind the scenes for helping us out. I'm going to be back on Tuesday on this podcast. Rewatchables launches tomorrow on Netflix. Still is on Spotify as well. We have Zodiac. What do you think was longer, the movie or the podcast?

[B]

The rewatch.

[A]

157 minutes.

[B]

Oh, man, you went past two and a half hours. I'll go, I'll go. The movie. Was it close?

[A]

Podcast was like 250. I think we went 20 minutes longer.

[B]

Your re apex is just.

[A]

Well, we had to solve. We solved the Zodiac murder as well.

[B]

Oh, you did? Okay.

[A]

Yeah, that was another great thing. Yeah, we solved it. So that was good. Anyway, that's coming Monday. It'll be on Netflix as well as Spotify as well. Sal, as always, good job by you.

[B]

Good job by you, buddy.

[A]

See you on Tuesday. Must be 21 plus I'm president in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 on President D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 100 Gambler, visit rg-help.com, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.orgchatinconnecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8Hopeny or text Hopeny in New York.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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