Detroit’s Grit, Drake vs. Caleb, a Giannis Trade Idea, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast Summary Episode: Detroit’s Grit, Drake vs. Caleb, a Giannis Trade Idea, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

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I. Detroit’s Grit: Texans vs. Lions Game Recap

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal dive deep into the Week 10 NFL matchup between the Houston Texans and the Detroit Lions. They analyze Deshaun Watson's performance, the Lions' offensive struggles, and the significance of the Texans' comeback.

• Key Takeaways:

  • Quarterback Performance: The Lions' Deshaun Watson threw multiple interceptions early in the game, leading to concerns about his consistency.
  • Defense Impact: The Texans' defense didn't score in the second half, highlighting their ability to clamp down when needed.
  • Resilience: Bill emphasizes that Houston's ability to win on the road despite early turnovers speaks volumes about the team's character.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Cousin Sal: “If Stroud hits Dell, I mean he's open for 17 seconds and he’s lobster, it's intercepted by Carlton Davis. So that sucked.” [03:57]
  • Bill Simmons: “If they can come back on the road and win that game, I think that means something more than the game.” [04:31]

II. Drake vs. Caleb: QB Performance Analysis

The discussion shifts to quarterback performances, specifically Caleb Williams of the Chicago Bears and Drake May of the Kansas City Chiefs. Bill and Sal compare their styles, effectiveness, and impact on their respective teams.

• Key Takeaways:

  • Caleb Williams: Despite his talent, Caleb has shown inconsistency, leading to questions about his long-term viability as an MVP contender.
  • Drake May: May is praised for his resilience and ability to make pivotal plays, even when facing tough defenses.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Bill Simmons: “I think Stroud needs to have another game like this to prove his worth.” [09:06]
  • Cousin Sal: “Caleb does hold the ball in too long and he's not accurate. Like apparently he's the... second least accurate guy in the league for just uncatchable passes.” [09:30]

III. Giannis Trade Idea: Brooklyn Nets vs. Houston Rockets

Bill introduces a provocative idea: trading Milwaukee Bucks' superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo to either the Brooklyn Nets or the Houston Rockets. He explores the feasibility, the assets each team would need to offer, and the potential impact on both franchises.

• Key Takeaways:

  • Brooklyn Nets: With a plethora of first-round picks, the Nets could assemble a compelling package to acquire Giannis, leveraging their depth and future assets.
  • Houston Rockets: Also rich in draft capital, Houston could negotiate a trade that teams them up with Giannis to bolster their championship aspirations.
  • Trade Logistics: Bill breaks down the extensive list of picks and players each team holds, making a Giannis trade to either team plausible but logistically complex.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Bill Simmons: “They have all their own first in 26 and 29... they just can say, hey, Milwaukee, here's Ben Simmons expiring contract, and here are all these picks.” [90:37]
  • Cousin Sal: “If you're Giannis, would I rather go to Brooklyn or Houston? I don't know.” [93:14]

IV. Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal: Betting Lines and Analysis

A lively segment where Bill and Sal discuss the latest NFL betting lines, over/unders, and teasers. They share their predictions, analyze game outcomes, and reflect on their betting strategies.

• Key Takeaways:

  • Over/Under Trends: Both hosts observe a resurgence in teaser bets, especially on teams like the Eagles and Chargers.
  • Line Movements: They discuss how lines have shifted throughout the week, often becoming more favorable or unfavorable based on team performances.
  • Betting Insights: Sal shares his successful picks while Bill reflects on missed predictions, emphasizing the unpredictability of NFL betting.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Bill Simmons: “There’s no better bet in sports.” [22:16] (Referring to their special teaser bets)
  • Cousin Sal: “We've seen it in the last five years, there's like two or three teams with four... but close to 10 teams with like six wins, it's gross.” [58:44]
  • Bill Simmons: “This is one of the reasons when we did the over unders one of the reasons I like the Denver over... it was one of those games we'll be guess the lines.” [15:57]

V. Parent Corner: Personal Stories

In a heartfelt segment, Bill shares his experience with his daughter's soccer tournament. He discusses the challenges of managing his son's commitments, his wife's support, and the emotional rollercoaster of sports injuries.

• Key Takeaways:

  • Balancing Act: Bill highlights the difficulties parents face in managing multiple responsibilities alongside supporting their children's athletic endeavors.
  • Injury Struggles: He narrates his daughter's battle with a persistent knee injury, emphasizing the emotional toll and the hope for her recovery.
  • Team Spirit: Despite setbacks, Bill cherishes the joy and pride of seeing his daughter compete and succeed.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Bill Simmons: “It's just the most important home game Washington's had in 15 years where it was like a true sellout.” [37:17]
  • Cousin Sal: “Second place is crazy. They just have to, you know, trust their coach.” [44:13]

VI. Giannis Trade Idea Deep Dive

Bill returns to discuss the intricacies of the proposed Giannis trade, elaborating on the potential benefits and drawbacks for the Bucks and the receiving teams. He collaborates with Sal to evaluate the strategic fit and long-term implications.

• Key Takeaways:

  • Strategic Fit: Brooklyn's offensive schemes could complement Giannis' playstyle, while Houston's defensive prowess might balance the team's dynamics.
  • Future Planning: The trade could significantly impact the Bucks' rebuilding process, offering them a treasure trove of draft picks.
  • Fan Reactions: Both hosts acknowledge the controversial nature of trading a beloved superstar and the potential backlash from fans.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Bill Simmons: “What's the most likely scenario? He just gets jabbed to death.” [106:24]
  • Cousin Sal: “If you're Giannis, would I rather go to Brooklyn or Houston? I don't know.” [93:14]

VII. Additional Highlights

• Coach Evaluations: Bill and Sal assess various NFL coaches, praising Tomlin’s consistent performance while critiquing others like McCarthy.
• Special Teams Analysis: They discuss the poor special teams performance of teams like the Niners, predicting future playoff challenges.
• Highlight Reels: Brief mentions of memorable plays, player performances, and upcoming games keep listeners engaged.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast offers a comprehensive analysis of pivotal NFL games, quarterback performances, and speculative NBA trade scenarios. Bill and Cousin Sal blend statistical insights with personal anecdotes, providing listeners with both entertainment and in-depth sports commentary. Whether you're a die-hard fan or a casual observer, this episode delivers valuable perspectives on the current sports landscape.

Notable Timestamped Quotes:

• Cousin Sal on Goff’s interception: “[03:57]”
• Bill Simmons on Houston’s resilience: “[04:31]”
• Sal on Caleb Williams’ inaccuracies: “[09:30]”
• Bill discussing Giannis trade feasibility: “[90:37]”
• Sal on NFL betting lines: “[58:44]”
• Bill on daughter’s soccer injury: “[97:47]”

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Transcript

[Todd McShay]

What's happening? It's Todd McShay and I'm back with a new home and a new show at the Ringer and Spotify. The McShay Show. It's a video and audio podcast coming to you year round with all my NFL draft information, big boards, mock drafts and player movement. Plus, I'll be chatting with some of my best friends in football, including some of your favorite football analysts during the week. We'll have episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays that will include discussions about my player rankings, who's rising, who's falling, and who your NFL team should be keeping an eye on. Plus, we'll be reacting each week to the College Football Playoff polls and giving you previews and picks for each Saturday slate. In addition, I'll have episodes on Saturday nights with my immediate reaction to the full day in college football every week. So if you love the college game, the NFL, the draft, or all of it like me, make sure to like, follow, subscribe and get ready for the McShay show on the Ringer, Spotify and wherever you watch or listen to podcasts.

[Bill Simmons]

This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by Ray Ban Meta Smart Glasses Built with Meta AI Ray Ban Meta Smart Glasses react to what you see so you can learn more about the world around you. You can also take hands free photos, videos, send messages, make video calls, even play music and podcasts straight from your glasses with Ray Ban Meta. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. State Farm helps you score an affordable price when you choose to bundle home and auto insurance with the personal price plan. Bundling home and auto, that's a pro move. Just another way you can save on your insurance needs. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. I have a new episode of the Rewatchables coming on Monday night. We did Meet the Parents. An absolute classic. It has really aged nicely. That will be up on Monday night and you can watch it on The Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well. You can watch all the clips and videos from this podcast on The Bill Simmons YouTube channel and cousin Sal is coming up in one second to break down everything we saw in a really, really fun, action packed week 10 of the NFL season. We did this live on YouTube as we do every Sunday night. All you have to do is subscribe to the Bill Simmons Channel and you can watch us do this podcast live, or you could just listen to it the next day. You do whatever you want to do, but I'm going to bring in Pearl Jam right now, because that's what I want to do. Pearl J. All right, it is 8:43pm Sunday night. Just watch Texans Lions. I'm Here with the 47th President, United States Cousin Sal. How are you?

[Cousin Sal]

There's no way I won. I know who my family voted for, and it wasn't me.

[Bill Simmons]

It never is. We just watched an incredible game. And I thought Collinsworth made the key point and he sniffed it out in the third quarter and said he did the. Al, I'm just telling you, if the Lions could figure this out, this is the kind of game that tells you what kind of. You know, he just did that whole thing and he was right. Cause I was thinking the same thing. If they. All the shit that happened. Golf throws five picks, basically in the first two and a half quarters of the game. And if you can come back on the road and win that game, I think that means something more than the game. Right? That was the takeaway.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I thought the point he made that was valid was if there was just one more coat of paint on those goal posts. We're going over time, Mike. You know that's true.

[Bill Simmons]

Come on, one more woodwork.

[Cousin Sal]

No, they were. They ran against them, right? I mean, they have the fastest runners in the. What's interesting is it seemed like. And I think it was those red uniforms, didn't it. Didn't they seem faster? The Texans? Like, yeah, there's a little bit of like a flash thing, like, oh, wow, they're wearing the red uniforms. They're faster than us tonight. Let's give up. But you're right, if they had just gone to the running game for most of the game, it wouldn't have been close at the end.

[Bill Simmons]

It was very similar to what was happening them early in the season. Like, they had that one game where Golf threw the ball like almost 60 times and. And some people were out on the Detroit offense. I remember us talking about. I was like, I still feel like they just have to remember what kind of team they are. And then this game, it was the same thing. They're chucking the ball around. Goff didn't have it, and. And I just kept. The running game wasn't great in the first two and a half quarters, but it's like just. They don't have Will Anderson just run the ball. Stick with it, stick with it. Play action and. And they were able to turn around. But the bigger thing is Houston didn't score again in the second half. There's a bunch of bad advanced metrics with them in the second halves of these games. You know, Nico Collins got scratched pretty late. Seemed like he was playing. It was scratched late enough that I think a lot of people like me in one of my leagues started him in fantasy and then all of a sudden he was gone. But they got to fix that. I still like that Houston team though.

[Cousin Sal]

Like I. Yeah, here's the thing. No, first of all, yes, I say the Lions could have won and put it, not put it away, but they could have been in this much earlier than just the final kick to take the lead. But man, if Stroud hits Dell, I mean he's open for 17 seconds and he lobster, it's intercepted by Carlton Davis. So that sucked. But yeah, I like this team too. And guess what? They could rest Shroud for a month. He could go whatever. He can go to France if he wants because he's up against Will Levis, Mack Jones and Joe Flacco or Anthony Richardson. So yeah, I like that. Do I like him as a one seed? No. But they'll be fine in the playoffs, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, even you look at their losses. Minnesota killed them. Green Bay beat them by two, and that was an either or game. Jets beat them on a Thursday night, which was another one that it felt like they were going to win the game. Garrett Wilson made that crazy catch and then in this game they were in it and it just, it felt a little self inflicted to me, you know, I know they didn't have Nico Collins, but the Stroud pass, it was just like he sailed it up there like there was nobody within 30 yards of Dell. And meanwhile the safety comes flying over. But even if he had sailed it toward the corner of the end zone, it just. When that happened, I was like, holy shit. The Lions might have a chance.

[Cousin Sal]

Cause I was nephew Kyle, six pilsners in could have made that throw. I'm telling you right now, that was. I don't know what, what happened there. And I think the game plan should be, hey, if we get 30, we win, right? If you're Demico Ryan's. But they hadn't figured out how to get those extra seven.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I'd like Stroud, but you know, he kind of needs one of these games. He needs one of these tight games against a really good team. Make A couple plays, moments. I was looking up some of the stuff from this game. And first of all, has anyone ever thrown five interceptions in a game and then won the Super Bowl? What do you think the answer is to that? Because I actually researched this.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, wow. Good for you.

[Bill Simmons]

Same season. Yeah. I figured out a way to research this and I think. I think I nailed it correctly.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, it wasn't Tony Romo who was one of two guys who threw five interceptions.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Was it 1970 Colts or something?

[Bill Simmons]

No. So the two I found, and maybe there are more than this, but Terry Bradshaw did it in the 79 Steelers and then Jim punk it in 1980 Raiders.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

So back to back years in general, I was looking up, I went on this interception, deep dive because when we were growing up, quarterbacks threw interceptions. Like Steve Grogan had three, five interception games before I turned 10 years old and I was looking at the 19, I think, 77 season. Fran Tarkiton led the league with 32 picks. 1978, Stabor was second with 30, and eight other guys had at least 20. This is just what we grew up with. The ball would sail around like, they definitely didn't.

[Cousin Sal]

They definitely didn't pass as much, right? No, they weren't dropping back as much.

[Bill Simmons]

But think about it. Like, receivers going over the middle, you could decapitate them. Quarterbacks, you could dive at their legs, you could close on them. So they're just flinging the ball up trying to get rid of it. Joe Pisarczyk was 12 TDs, 23 picks. Kenny Anderson was 10 TDs, 22 picks. Steve Deberg was eight TDs, 22 picks, on and on and on. To throw five picks. Now you really have to put some thought and time and some shitty energy into it. So there was like, how many picks the record? Seven. Like Ty Detmer did it only like two other. So, you know, there was a moment there was like, whoa, what happens if he gets to six?

[Cousin Sal]

It's going to get there.

[Bill Simmons]

Do they pull him? But he righted the ship. Like, he kind of persevered through it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he had plenty of opportunities. And yeah, he had what? Had more than he had all of last year. Right. So I'm not sure that takes him a little bit out of the MVP running. But we were making fun of PFF because they had him 22 out of 32. For quarterbacks like, this guy never throws an incomplete pass.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Who are the 21 ahead of him? And then it's like, oh, boy, Interception after interception. Maybe they were Going to save that for next week's. So.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

But yeah, good comeback for the Lions. They may just have that swagger. It just might be their year, at least in the nfc.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, in the afc, Houston drops to six and four, but you know they're going to be the four seed. Yeah, I don't see any scenario where Indianapolis or Jacksonville or Tennessee even sniffs them so they have time to figure it out. And I, I didn't change my opinion on where I thought Houston might be. When they get Collins back, they get Will Anderson back. Like I want to see this team in mid December with like two, three weeks left in this season, like right around Christmas. Let's really take a look at them because I think they could hang with Casey. Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Baltimore. I think they could play with any of those teams, you know.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I agree.

[Bill Simmons]

We'll see.

[Cousin Sal]

I, I just would. Let's not do what we did last year. Like we fall in love with the six seed or whoever it was. Was it Cleveland last year? Did you have the Houston overclub? Did you have them?

[Bill Simmons]

I had a pretty good playoffs last year and that was one of my huge regrets. Flacco against whoever when he got annihilated.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, we won't have to worry about Flacco, but let's try.

[Bill Simmons]

We won't have to worry about Flacco. There's some, the AFC playoff stuff we talked about our. Houston's probably the four seed which is going to I think put them against Pittsburgh or Buff or Baltimore. Whoever doesn't win that division. The way it's lining up now where Pittsburgh seven and two and Baltimore seven and three and a good team and probably the five seed. Unless the Chargers just keep kicking everyone's ass. Chargers are 6 and 3. So we basically, if Casey beats Buffalo next week, they basically have the one seed locked up.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Because they'll have a two game lead over or three game lead over Buffalo. Plus they beat them. They'll have a two game lead over Pittsburgh and then a three game lead over Baltimore. If you do the rankings now or the matchups now, It'd be Buffalo 2 against 7 seed Denver.

[Cousin Sal]

That would get in.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I just. They're five and five. No way. That's the. There's seven teams that have a tire winning record. Number three Pittsburgh against number six Chargers and then number four Houston, Baltimore. But the AFC is kind of fun. I was looking at it, I was like, huh, the big one.

[Cousin Sal]

You bring up a good point with the, with the Chiefs though. If they beat Buffalo and Buffalo next week. A lot of these team. I mean how do you get up Houston for the last seven weeks with knowing like we got this eight and nine could get us the four seed. I really feel like eight, nine. When. When's that division at this point?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I think you could think maybe we could catch the AFC north team and get the three seed.

[Cousin Sal]

Maybe Buffalo.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean Buffalo. This is another crazy thing that's happened through 10 weeks. Buffalo is a five game lead in the AFCs.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean that's like absurd. I've never seen somebody lead by half as many games as the actual games played.

[Cousin Sal]

Your team might have done it a couple of times. Right. By November, by the middle of November. You don't think the Patriots had like a five game week?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, you mentioned Kansas City. I don't know what to make of this season anymore. They're nine and five of the wins. The was week one, the Ravens game where likely his foot's on the line. They beat the Bengals. Burrow had the fumble td. The Bengals had a chance to ice the game, didn't get a first down, punted. Chiefs hit a field goal at the end to have the Atlanta game where they got the fourth down stop when it seemed like Atlanta was going to drive and get them and they, and they got to stop. Last week the Bucks and OT were felt like if the Bucks went for two, they were probably going to win. Yeah. And then this week where it seems like it's done and they blocked the field goal and they. And they beat the Broncos by two in a game that was dead even statistically. When you're watching it, it felt like the Broncos were going to win. I thought the Broncos slightly outplayed them and now they're 9 and 0 and I don't feel like everybody's like, oh yeah, Chiefs, look out. I think people are like, holy shit, how can they keep doing this?

[Cousin Sal]

I think you're right. And you know there's, it's one thing to do it like the Vikings did it, like, oh, what did they have in 2022? They had like 11 one score wins or something. But when you went through the one after the other toe in the end zone, barely, like this is just a spectacular way to be undefeated in the second week in November. I mean that kick, like if there were nobody, there were no blockers, it would have looked exactly the same. What the hell? What? Denver did everything right. You're right. They bled the clock. They had the Chiefs use their timeouts and you almost Think there's just no beating this thing.

[Bill Simmons]

I was driving home from the airport last night like about midnight and I was listening to Fox Sports radio and there was some show and they had that guy Physic the handicapper was on.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I was like this is great. I'm going like 95 miles an hour on the, on the, on the 10 and I'm listening to Physic break down the schedule. And he was really bullish on the Broncos in this game. It's like Broncos coming off a loss, they beat the Chief and I felt the same way. Like I doubled on the Broncos in our picks league. I the Broncos last week against Baltimore when it was 1710 heading toward the end of the first half and they had really played with them and Knicks had missed a couple touchdown throws and then all of a sudden Lamar got the touchdown. They're down 14 and the game blew open. But I didn't think they were bad in that game. In this game they're pretty good too. They might actually be a playoff team. Like I think the Bengals are going to have a hard time passing them because I think the Broncos are going to be able to get to nine wins.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, that's it, right? It's Bengals. Bengals have some interesting games. They have the Chargers this week. So I don't want to call it a loser leaves town for the Bengals. But they can't afford to lose like two. They still have a lot of north games, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they're not going to run big.

[Cousin Sal]

One but yeah, man, I you know, I would even say I had Bo Nicks as a solid fourth in terms of the four rookie quarterbacks. Is he second now? Is he right behind Daniels?

[Bill Simmons]

I have a whole spot in the podcast for this. Oh yeah, I can't wait to talk.

[Cousin Sal]

About and this one. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh yeah. In this podcast Denver rest of the way home Atlanta at Vegas, home. Cleveland on a Monday night home Indianapolis at Chargers and then week 17 at Cincinnati.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that's the big one and then.

[Bill Simmons]

Here'S the big one. And this is one of the reasons when we did the over unders one of the reasons I like the Denver over they play Kansas City Week 18 at home. And that is of everybody. That's one of those games we'll be guess the Lions. It'll be stupid, right? Like Denver favored by 7 1/2 or something. Cause Kansas City won't play anybody. So is Denver going to get to nine wins? Probably. They're five and five right now and I think there's four more in there. So the Bengals are going to have to beat them and they're going to have to beat the Chargers.

[Cousin Sal]

I think this week they're having trouble getting to six. If they get to six they go over their projected wind total which was five and a half but they've been stuck on five for a while. But yeah, the problem is as you go through those games and I think about those teams, they're not guaranteed to score 30, right. I don't know if anyone is in the NFL anymore but Denver, it's always going to be a kind of game game like this. But they did what they did today is big plays against the Chiefs don't usually happen and they pulled it off. I know you want to talk about Knicks later but this is. They had some nice like 20 plus yard gainers so I thought that was.

[Bill Simmons]

The best Knicks has looked and even though they, I know they didn't put up like 30 points or anything but he had some good plays, he had typical couple overthrows. But I know you're invested in him because he's an Oregon guy and.

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

But um, one thing on the Chiefs. So I was trying to think. Cause I mentioned this to House on Thursday and I was like I'm going to go back and actually look at this. The teams that start off undefeated for a while and all of us are kind of looking at them kind of side eyed like eh, I don't know. So the three that really jumped out 2010 Colts were 14 and oh and remember that was the whole argument of should they go for it. And I think they ended up resting guys but they lost the super bowl to New Orleans that year. But that whole year we were kind of like ah, what is this? Like is this, is this a schedule thing? Like what's going on? Their defense isn't that good so they didn't win the super bowl the next year the packers went 13 and oh go to the playoffs, get a buy and then they get killed by the Giants at home in round two in the the second Eli Super bowl season and then the third one was the Panthers 201514 and O start and then they end up losing the super bowl to Denver. So I guess my question is is Kansas City just better losing now and getting, getting this over with versus like just going. I know it sounds stupid but them going 14 and not and then you're basically not playing for anything for a month and you get a bye week and then you just kind of have to flip the switch on. We, we have real evidence that that's kind of a bad thing for a team.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. And listen, I think we got to give them the benefit of doubt in terms of how to approach this. Like Andy Reid, this isn't his first rodeo, by the way. His first rodeo he killed a cat. Like he just, like it just. It was too much weight and they knew it was a bad idea from the start.

[Bill Simmons]

All tapes have been destroyed.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. But so work Hopkins in, right. Don't get injured. Pacheco comes back theoretically in a couple of weeks. I think that would probably be the plan. And if you could beat up on these teams, keep it going, I guess. I think it's. I know what you're saying. Like it's good to have a loss in there and then you can, you could deal with it. But I feel like they've been down, they've made comebacks before. Right. So they know how to be resilient.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, this Buffalo game, it's at Buffalo. I can't wait to guess the line for that. And I don't know it and I would have guessed Buffalo as a favorite, but now I'm more wondering with the way Buffalo looked, a little shaky, maybe it's going to flip. But Casey I think would want to go into Buffalo and beat them again and just keep that over them. Like kind of, you can't beat us. We're on this. But then they're at Carolina the next week and that just like, like the classic Chiefs favored by nine and a half in Carolina. Punt block tipped interception, pick six. Like just nine. Things go wrong, everyone gets killed in their teas. It's like the biggest upset of the year. I have that one flag. They play Vegas at home on a Friday night that seems fishy. Chargers on a Sunday. They're at Cleveland, home, Houston at Pittsburgh and then home for Denver in week 18. So maybe they have that stretch where it's week 16, Houston on a Saturday, week 17, Christmas night, Pittsburgh, and they're going to have everything clinched and there's just no way they're going to be playing their guys in both of those games. Right. That's no way they're going to punt on one of those games.

[Cousin Sal]

Do you know what the odds are? I have them here. Don't look to run the slate.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, House and I, we talk is. It's like five to one, right? Higher than that.

[Cousin Sal]

Plus seven fifty plus seven hundred fifty. But yeah, you go through that, there's still tough ones. Could they be looking ahead to the Panthers and blow this Bills game?

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't even Realize that I know they saw Bryce Young today and got freaked out. I think with that Saturday, Wednesday thing, there's no way there's that. That would be insane to get people hurt right during. During that crazy stretch. The other thing with the. With the AFC, other than Cincy at 4 and 6, I don't see a single team that could make like a second half run out of nowhere unless Miami wins tomorrow night. And I don't even really totally believe in Miami, but at least you could be like, all right, two is back. They're in the AFC East. They have some easy games maybe, but I don't. I don't see any out of nowhere teams. So to me, it's Denver and Cincinnati and then it's a huge drop off.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I would, I would say Miami potentially, because they could score points, but you were already. We don't even know if Tyreek's playing. Like, he's like, what if he said something interesting? Like, and listen, if someone's injured, whatever. This is a crazy game that I could never play. But he's like, we'll see how my body feels if I'm going to play or not. If you're Tua, you must be like, I don't even know my name right now. You get your ass in that game. We got to play. We got to.

[Bill Simmons]

Right? Our whole season's annoying.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, really.

[Bill Simmons]

Tyreek does this, though. Like, he even remember that game last year when he was just coming in out of the game and then his helmet was off, that it was on, that he's playing, then he's not playing.

[Cousin Sal]

He does it all the time. Still very strong. Petro runs a long route on second down. Forget it. You won't see him for the rest of that. That drive.

[Bill Simmons]

Hey, we're going to do who's Delivering? Presented by Uber Eats, where we break down the NFL players who have delivered so far this season from household names to out of nowhere surprises. So you have Bo Nicks would be in this, as it seemed crazy that they were counting on him the way they are, but now it actually seems pretty smart. Especially when they're paying Russell Wilson to play for the Steelers and he's doing well, right? Bryce Young not being like a disaster who's going to get traded for a seventh round pick. Not that he was awesome today, but at least he wasn't a disaster. I was surprised by that.

[Cousin Sal]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Like, whoa, sure, yeah. Bryce Young, I can't believe you have the city. Who else would you have as like a surprise?

[Cousin Sal]

You look at that and like just why it's a surprise is the Panthers are just destined to lose by double digits. If you just look at their this year, right? Like if it doesn't happen one week, you could bounce back if it wasn't New Orleans. Let's see. Kyle Pitts is really good. No, let me see. Give me a minute. I wish you would tell me about these. Yeah, yeah, he's good. He's solid. Let me find someone like this in here.

[Bill Simmons]

Was there a fantasy? I probably should have given you a heads up. Give me a heads up. Was there a fantasy running back or anybody that jumped out?

[Cousin Sal]

I guess I like Bucky Irving, but I think I gave him out to you a couple weeks ago.

[Bill Simmons]

How about this? How about McLaren being an A plus list receiver now, right? If we're doing fantasy drafts over again, I think he's one of the first five receivers.

[Cousin Sal]

Looks so much faster now than he was. But yeah, that's a. That's a good Mac Jones, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, no, wait, that's a different.

[Cousin Sal]

I just concentrate on bad players because that's all I'm used to now.

[Bill Simmons]

Different category. That's who's delivering, I guess Mahomes delivering wins despite having the worst statistical year again today. 260 yards, one TD. Doesn't matter. Keep swimming. Who's Delivering? Presented by Uber Eats, where you get the best deal on game day. Food all season long. We deliver. Left the Cowboys out of who's Delivering? Ubereats, the official on demand delivery partner of the NFL. Order now. We're gonna take a break for the podcast. This episode is brought to you by Simplisafe. It is football season, which means the holidays are coming up and actually Simplisafe is already having a Black Friday sale. So if you're worried about the safety of your home and family, now is the time to get home security. I personally like to use Simplisafe because they can stop intruders before they break into your home. That's kind of the goal. I think. They take home security to the next level with their active guard outdoor protection. It's not an old school system. They only take action once somebody is already in your house. No, that's not Simplisafe. They take action before somebody gets in your house. There's no long term contracts, no cancellation fees. It's around $1 a day and it gives me peace of mind and helps me and my family feel protected. So take advantage of this Black Friday sale this week only. Right now you can take 60% off any new system with a Select professional monitoring plan. Head to simplisafe.com BSToclaim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with SimpliSafe. Again, go to simplisafe.com BS that is SimpliSafe with two I's. There's no safe like Simplisafe. What happens to the Cowboys now? I just have some questions to throw you because your season's over. Is McCarthy finished the season?

[Cousin Sal]

That's very rude.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, why pay for another coach at this point?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, right. Look, here's what I'll say. The thing about them is like this is I didn't expect them to win. I really thought they would suck me back in. I thought they were done, but I didn't think they were done sucking me. And I thought Cooper Rush would be competitive, but this game killed me because besides a kicking game, you get to see the Cowboys incompetence on every level, right? Like tackling the quarterback play was atrocious. Rush had like 24 yards at halftime. And then they put Trey Lance and he comes in for like negative 6 yards with a penalty. Ezekiel Elliott back with a big fumble, which, you know, huge fumble in the.

[Bill Simmons]

In the other end zone.

[Cousin Sal]

Jesus. It's like just that and that's more ineptitude in the front office. And then like and CD Lamb like yucking it up with the Eagles as the, as the gun sounds to end the game. And then we have the owner. It's like every, every little aspect of it. The owner who blames the mysterious construction of his billion dollar stadium that he built. He built it where half the players.

[Bill Simmons]

Going to build a stadium from someone else. He built it and was in charge of every aspect of the construction.

[Cousin Sal]

Disgusting. Is pointing as like they know where the sun is. Like good, Jerry. You go to the sun, go to the light. See the sun. It's right there. It's right in the crack in the roof where you wouldn't. You know, everyone wants to put curtains.

[Bill Simmons]

Until you go blind.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh man, it drives.

[Bill Simmons]

Now the big thing tomorrow is going to be like, should we put curtains up there? It's like this thing you and I went to stadium 15 years ago. Like they couldn't figure out the fucking sunlight when it's after daylight savings.

[Cousin Sal]

The pit. Remember Dallas, the TV show that was like in the opening, the light going through the stadium like, oh, wow, that's kind of cool. It's like, no, it's not that cool. I hate this team. I'm really Mad. And I feel like I get double F tier because, like, they don't even change the cadence. Like, Cooper Rush is like, here we go. And that gets me angry. And then I have to see the play, and that gets me angry. So I'm getting angry like, 160 times a game.

[Bill Simmons]

Are Dak.

[Cousin Sal]

Shit.

[Bill Simmons]

My next Cowboys question. Are Dak, Lamb, and Parsons all on next year's team?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I think so. There's too much money. What are they gonna do?

[Bill Simmons]

Is Lawrence also on next year's team? Those four? You've those four guys next year?

[Cousin Sal]

I do think so.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Yeah. I just want Aubrey. I need the kicker to stay. Listen, if they're not on the team. If they're not on the team, that means Jerry's going to trade him, right? And he has been that. He's been awful. I mean, we got. We got Mingo, who didn't even suit up for, like, a four. Like, you'll see what they got for Hopkins versus Mingo. And they do it year after year after year. It's getting bad.

[Bill Simmons]

I like the philosophy of, yeah, we got Mingo. We really liked him coming out of the draft. It was like, yeah. Did you still like him when he couldn't play for Carolina for two years?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It'd be like, if we really like somebody for the ringer two years ago. And then the person went somewhere and just handed in a bunch of columns late and did three podcasts that had to be aborted. We're like, wow, we really did like them two years ago. Let's go get them anyway. Maybe change the scene.

[Cousin Sal]

Record labels aren't signing Diddy anytime soon, even though he went double platinum 15 years ago. Is that a bad analogy?

[Bill Simmons]

Listen, I'm here for all Diddy analogies. There you go. Here's my next question for you Cowboys related. I'm going to go through every team in the NFC and you tell me which team you'd rather be than this is for the next three years.

[Cousin Sal]

This is a dick move, but it's.

[Bill Simmons]

Not a dick move. It's an exercise.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't actually rather be Dallas or Philadelphia next three years.

[Cousin Sal]

That's easy. Philly.

[Bill Simmons]

Washington.

[Cousin Sal]

Washington, yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Would you rather be Dallas or the Giants?

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to say still Dallas, and then I'm going to get kicked in the teeth on Thanksgiving. And that'll be fun.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Dallas is the right answer for that. Okay, so he'd rather be. So the Giants. We have one.

[Cousin Sal]

Are we? But we're going to really do this 16 times.

[Bill Simmons]

Minnesota, Green Bay. You'd rather be all of those things?

[Cousin Sal]

Sure. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Would you rather be Dallas or Chicago?

[Cousin Sal]

I think their front office is just as effed up, kind of, to be honest with you. I mean, we were. We were texting off the coach.

[Bill Simmons]

Definitely worse.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Yeah. So they have to make a coaching change. Not sold on the quarterback. I think that's a push, actually. Can I say push?

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, we have a push.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Would you rather be Dallas or Atlanta? I'd rather be Atlanta.

[Cousin Sal]

Atlanta.

[Bill Simmons]

Would you rather be Dallas or Tampa Bay?

[Cousin Sal]

All right, so first thing I'm thinking about is coach, quarterback. Tampa Bay.

[Bill Simmons]

I think you'd rather have Baker Mayfield see him today. He's a hero today.

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

It's amazing.

[D]

I think he'd rather.

[Cousin Sal]

He's a hero. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

You'd rather be Dallas than New Orleans. That's. That's easy. New Orleans is salary. Capel.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Bill Simmons]

We wouldn't want to.

[Cousin Sal]

And the Panthers. I'd be rather than the Panthers. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, so there's three. You got the Giants of Carolina.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I don't think anyone in the NFC West. You'd rather.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't think anyone in the West. No.

[Bill Simmons]

So there's three teams you'd rather be.

[Cousin Sal]

That's good. Congratulations.

[Bill Simmons]

What a jerk.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because.

[Cousin Sal]

Should I do that with you? Should I do that for you with the afc? What, do you have more than three?

[Bill Simmons]

All right, I'll play.

[Cousin Sal]

Go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

Buffalo. I'd rather be. I'd rather be us than the Jets. I mean, hands down. Hands down, we'd rather be us than the jets. With Drake Bay.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Okay. That's true. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

I think I'd rather be us than Miami because we have Drake May.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, if that's going to be your answer for everything. I mean, what we're going to.

[Bill Simmons]

We have Drake. May. We? Gonzalez. We have Baltimore coming back. We're going to have 100 million in cap space. We're going to have like a top six pick.

[Cousin Sal]

I feel good about that. Gonzalez and Bar. More.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Listen, about this is like the 78 Steelers.

[Bill Simmons]

You're talking about Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Cincy. I would rather be all of those teams. Definitely would rather be us than Cleveland.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay, so how many is that?

[Bill Simmons]

Cleveland, Miami and the Jets. There's already three. I'd rather be Houston. I'd rather be us than Indianapolis. What's so great about being in. They just missed on that Richardson pick. It looks like he's unplayable.

[Cousin Sal]

I'd rather be at Tennessee? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd rather be us at Jacksonville.

[Cousin Sal]

The league really sucks, doesn't it, Casey?

[Bill Simmons]

Chargers, obviously. Those guys. Denver is probably a push I'd rather have made than anyone at Denver, but Denver has paid.

[Cousin Sal]

You'd have rather May than Knicks right now, huh?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, stop. Nick's is like 26.

[Cousin Sal]

What am I missing with May? What did he do? Hold on, I gotta.

[Bill Simmons]

He has no receivers and no offensive lines.

[Cousin Sal]

He's been fine keeping them in these games. You won because you sacked what's his name nine times.

[Bill Simmons]

That's why we love Drake May. Come on.

[Cousin Sal]

I know. I see it.

[Bill Simmons]

But you know what I love about Drake May? He has a bad plan. He shakes it off and he goes right back out there and just. And does flame. I also. Dak does that too.

[Cousin Sal]

Cooper Rush does that. Trey, Lance, all the greats.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd rather be us than Vegas. So that's like six teams. Here's what I love about J.P. that's depressing.

[Cousin Sal]

You'd rather be. And you make a good point for all of them. Twice as many teams than I would in the nfc. Wow, that's bad. I'm so glad.

[Bill Simmons]

I'll talk about the Pats later. I have a different spot. Let's talk about Pittsburgh. Washington, which felt like a real playoff game.

[Cousin Sal]

That was the best game.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it was an honorable loss for Washington, even though I didn't think they played their best. But they definitely hung and were around the game, and that was by far the best defense they've played. It was a great win for Pittsburgh because a lot of shit went wrong for them. For two hours, it felt like they were almost trying to give the game away. And then they said fuck it, and they just took it. And then Russ made a fucking massive throw at the end. Like he hit Williams in stride. Fields never would have made that throw. So, Sal, Nobody saw the 7 and 2 Steelers coming. Oh, wait, somebody did. This guy right here.

[Cousin Sal]

Who. Who you pointing to? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

This guy with two index fingers.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, you called it.

[Bill Simmons]

That's it. So when people do the thing tomorrow, who would have saw the suit? Steelers 7 and 2. It was fucking me. I called it. I love the Steelers.

[Cousin Sal]

All right. All right. By the way, go back and you.

[Bill Simmons]

Watch our Over Unders podcast. We. We actually kind of killed the podcast. Like, I used to go, like 25 and 7, 26 and 6 on those over under.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, good job. But why then will all the announcers, both announcers in that game talking about me, me, me, picking the Steeler Special The South Steelers special, which is Washington.

[Bill Simmons]

We'Re going to you. This is way more impressive. Go ahead, set up the South Special.

[Cousin Sal]

Opponent to win the first half. Steelers to win the game. It takes the Steelers a minute to get going. More than any other team. This happens eight to one. It's cash three times this year plus 17 units. Good job by me, good job by you, whatever you said in the preseason. But eight to one three times. God bless.

[Bill Simmons]

So it's it three times. And if you bet $100 on it each time, you would have just won like 23, $2400 just on those three and lost 100 on the other seven games, you'd be up $1700. There's no better bet in sports. Thanks, FanDuel. FanDuel gave us these ringer specials tab on their NFL page. The Cousin Sal special should just be its own tab. It should be next to games futures Cousin South Special.

[Cousin Sal]

You know why it won't be.

[Bill Simmons]

You've invented this.

[Cousin Sal]

They don't want to go bankrupt. I don't blame them for the hiding it within like 34 other Ringer specials. But no, the Steelers are good. They're good, they're exciting. And I'm not going to say sky's the limit for the playoffs, but they could right now, like if you put a ceiling on them, AFC Championship. Not that you could like could they get that far or past it.

[Bill Simmons]

So I had some friends at that Washington game today and that was like the most important home game Washington's had in 15 years where it was like a true sellout. Real fans coming back, like real energy in the building. People there two hours before the game and the Steelers didn't play well and they still figured out a way to steal the game. And they got stops. Like that game was I think 27 to 21 halfway through third quarter in the. They shut down Washington. They. Daniels missed a couple of throws. I think two years from now he probably wins that game because he had, he had two big throws in the second half. But. But the fact that Wilson can make a couple plays for them, they. It just wasn't going to happen with Fields. Fields doesn't win that game. He just doesn't. And I think I was thinking we were joking watching the games. Like has anybody seen less cool and more done and then rallied back and seems kind of cool again. It's like I was thinking like Wayne Brady when he did the Chappelle show.

[Cousin Sal]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

And he had that. And he had that Wayne Brady rejuvenation from the Chappelle show. But Russ winning that game and doing like a dance and seeming like Russ again. I was like, holy shit, Russ is back.

[Cousin Sal]

Yes. I think he. People are dying to turn on him too, though, right? I feel like even that with Steelers fans, like, they were waiting for the one bad Russ game. But now you're right. At 7 and 2, this is a whole different story. And Pickens is the most athletic player on that team. I'm sorry, but he always makes a dazzling circus catch every week. I mean, football is great. When you see like these wide receivers, my father is like, oh, it was always better in my day. These guys didn't sound. No injuries like, dad, you don't have wide receivers toe tapping the sideline and, you know, like pellets kicking up because.

[Bill Simmons]

Corner. That was unbelievable.

[Cousin Sal]

They know how to draw. Whatever. I'm not making it. But you see a spectacular play three times a week now in the NFL. That's why it's the best.

[Bill Simmons]

One thing I liked about Pittsburgh, they did the thing that Detroit kind of didn't do. They just kept running the ball and running the ball. Yeah, they didn't run the ball that well. I think they were 43 for. Were they 43 for like 140, something like that. They were like 3.3.

[Cousin Sal]

Again, timely runs.

[Bill Simmons]

They stuck with it. They'd shoot it. It felt like they were always getting yardage on first down. They made a couple big plays. They did this Mike Williams trade that the moment they did it, it was like, of course this guy's going to be decent for them.

[Cousin Sal]

And he ended up scoring the same.

[Bill Simmons]

Amount of points as the jets today. And then there's the Tomlin piece, which. So where do you think Tomlin ranks for wins? All time. Good to guess. All time coaches. Where does he rank and wins? It's only been coaching 18 years.

[Cousin Sal]

13. Yeah. So he's 12.

[Bill Simmons]

I would have guessed like 30th. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

He's only been coaching.

[Bill Simmons]

He hasn't been coaching two decades yet.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, but they're never under 500. So you don't have like any five and elevens or five and twelves in there.

[Bill Simmons]

He's 180 and 102.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's won a Super Bowl. He only has eight playoff wins. But I was thinking today, like, Belichick and Reed are the best two coaches of this century. Right. Doing the quarter century, doing the all NFL teams. Sure. Tomlin's probably third. It's either him or Sean Payton. Right. Maybe. Maybe John Harbaugh's in there. Probably not Dungey, because he retired pretty early.

[Cousin Sal]

No respect for McCarthy. It's unbelievable the way he.

[Bill Simmons]

Definitely not McCarthy. There's like a mild Tom Coughlin case just because he won the two Super Bowls. But as a regular season coach, wasn't great. But I think it's pretty unassailable. Tomlin's either third or fourth, depending on. Yeah, because Harbaugh.

[Cousin Sal]

Harbaugh has how many fewer wins? Right. Like, if you just go regular season. If you go like that.

[Bill Simmons]

But Tomlin's hit this point, though, where you just feel like he's getting to nine or 10 wins and it doesn't matter who's on his team, but it's a specific type of player that he always seems to have. They lucked out over and over again. I haven't lucked out. Like, there's real ingenuity behind the receivers. They take and. I don't know. It's. It's. This feels like one of his great seasons.

[Cousin Sal]

They're very good. He was the one that, like, he almost didn't bring the offense out on fourth and two. Right, Right. And then he did. I was screaming, simmons. I didn't even. I just had this stupid Steelers special thing. But you got to do that. Coaches, you have to at least do the hard count on fourth and two. It's not going to work every time. If you. If you get a false start, you're actually in a better position to punt it to the 10 or whatever. So, yeah, it was great. I mean, they killed them. They killed them in time of possession, too.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, they deserve that game for Washington. Now they're playing Philly Thursday night, and they might be going from seven and two to seven and four in the span of five days, but they're. They're still a playoff team. I thought that was weirdly a good loss for them. Like, they hung with a really good team, and I thought those were two playoff teams.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, next question. So I was going to ask you, would you rather have Drake Mayer, Caleb Williams, but you. You even want to introduce Bo Nixon to this? So.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I think so.

[Bill Simmons]

Give me the rankings, just of the four. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to drop Caleb Williams to four right now.

[Bill Simmons]

I think you have to.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to do it. I'll put your guy third. I think Bo Nicks is second. I know you would flip them, but this is just for this year. We're not looking at it.

[Bill Simmons]

I think. Who'd you want to have going forward?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah. I'd be very Confident in the top two in Daniels and then Bo Nicks and your guys. I don't know what to make of Caleb Williams. I really don't. Because they won some games they shouldn't have won and it's a very strange team. They really, they're not resilient at all. They were like one play away from being 5 and 2 and now you don't see them in the playoffs at all. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

No, they're. I think the Hail Mary probably murdered the team.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Or murdered the season. It's weird. All the stuff you heard about him at USC that people were worried about are kind of on display with the Bears too. Right. That there's. He's. He just seems like almost like a tennis player playing quarterback. Like he's like playing an individual sport but also running a team at the same time. And he makes a lot of really, really amateur mistakes. Like, it was interesting reading the stories after the game. The Patriots did all this stuff. This was the first. I guess the Pats did okay last week too, but this was a actually very well coached game. I got to hand it to Mayo and the crew. They really had a game plan. They wanted to pressure him. They brought in Schooler, who's the best special teams, you know, gunner in the league. They brought him in as like a linebacker to basically spy on Caleb in certain spots. But they, they basically studied them and they were like, the guy holds the ball too long. And we felt like if we pressured him and we put a spy on him and we just kind of pushed him that we could get to him. And they were right. And Caleb does hold the ball in too long and he's not accurate. Like apparently he's the. According to the stats, he's the second least accurate guy in the league for just uncatchable passes. So they took advantage of all the stuff he wasn't good at. The team can't block the crowd turned on them immediately. By the second quarter you could already hear the booze and I just felt like he checked out. So I think so. He's a rookie QB. We've seen rookie QBs fail, but we'll see.

[Cousin Sal]

Avery Fluff is going to take the brunt of it though, right? Like everyone's like, oh, he doesn't last till tomorrow. You were the first one I heard that talked about Caleb Williams, like maybe not stepping up in this situation. But it's right now it's squarely on the coach losing the locker room, running wide receivers walking off the field before the play is done. And Shit like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I mean, I had the Pats in a bet today. I thought. I thought they really had a chance to win. It was interesting with Caleb. He had those three games in a row, and it was against the Rams, who were banged up on defense in week four. They scored 24. They won. They killed Carolina in week five. They 36, 10. Everybody's like, Caleb, Bears, here we go. And then they beat the Jaguars. I think that was abroad in week six. 35, 16. And then they had a bye week. And there were two narratives. One was Caleb's. Caleb's figured it out. Here come the Bears. And then I was more in the camp of, can we see them play like some good teams first before we have a parade? So they had the bye week. They lose that game to Washington where they only scored 15, and they really couldn't do anything the whole game. Arizona kills them last week. And then the Pats, who have a shitty defense, looked like the 85 bears against them. So, you know, they can't block, but the body language on the team is awful. Well.

[Cousin Sal]

And it was also their defense had gone like 12 straight without allowing more than 20 points or something once in 12 games or something like that.

[Bill Simmons]

And so he wasn't lad 19.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he's kind of Teflon because the defense was very good. And Iberflusse, when they lose, it's Eberflew's fault. And you could say the Hail Mary, they got rooked. But what about week one, when Levis just handed them? They had, like, no offense. They had like 140 yards of offense. So I know it's week one, it's his very first game, but this game, this team is kind of where they should be.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm sure there's going to be a lot of. I'm sure this is going to be a huge topic this week, and there's going to be people defending him, and then there's going to be people really breaking down that. That he hasn't been good.

[Cousin Sal]

Didn't he want to own the team a piece of the team? When you say he was, like, running the team, that's what I thought of immediately. That would have been good.

[Bill Simmons]

From what I saw today, I wasn't afraid of him when he was going back to pass. I don't know. That team might be really poorly coached. And we've seen, like, I went to the Celtics Nets game on Friday night. See, I was able to bring back.

[Cousin Sal]

There we go. Good job.

[Bill Simmons]

And the Nets are really well coached. And I felt that way, watching them on tv. But I got to see it in person, up close. And that team was on the same page. They were bringing in bench guys who were playing hard, who were playing defense, who were picking up guys full court. They were rebounding, they were really, really trying. They were running good plays out of timeouts. And I was like, this team's well coached. You watch the Bears today, and it's like, this team's fucking disaster. Right? Like, they. They clearly shouldn't have this coach anymore, but it's a franchise that is usually afraid to make moves until after the season, from what I saw today. And I watched that game pretty closely. Like, they. That Hail Mary. Seems like that killed that Uber flu, Sarah.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, for sure. For sure. He might have lost the locker room before that, but, yeah, it is tough to spot an okay or bad team who's well coached. Like, I think we felt that about Tennessee when Vrabel was around. And, you know, they've won some divisions, too. But even when they were bad, you're like, all right, this team, they fight for them and they're good and they do the basics right.

[Bill Simmons]

Tomlin's been like that, too.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Where Tom can have these crappy offenses and still go 9 and 8. This Bears team's a mess. Yep. The Jaguars look like a mess. Like, there's teams you watch and you're like, this team's a mess. Brandon Staley last year, Ron Rivera last year. We. You know who the teams are that are super sloppy?

[Cousin Sal]

The Jag. I know we don't need to spend much time on that 12,7 Minnesota. But it was 42 to 18 in time of possession for Minnesota.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow.

[Cousin Sal]

I was like thinking, like, I don't even want. I want to see time of possession. Like jags time. Possession versus progressive ads we saw in the three hours, like Mac Jones or Flow. Who do we see on the screen more? I think it would be close. Boy, what a wonderful.

[Bill Simmons]

That should have been a great fanduel bet of combined Darnold, Mack Jones because they were zero touchdowns, five picks. I was in Boston over the weekend and I did a interception parlay. So great having legal gambling, like just being able to go on and make dumb fanduel bets. I. It was Bryce Young, Mac Jones and Will Levis, and it was like three and a half to one. I was like, this is going to be so much fun. And then Carolina, I wake up, they're up 7 nothing. Bryce somehow doesn't throw a pick, the bet doesn't win. The other two guys did though.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, they did. The other two came in. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what the Giants. The Panthers like took a lead and it's like, oh shit, Bryce Young's only going to throw the ball like 10 more times in the second half.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So big picture like, Caleb is obviously an asset. He's obviously talented. They have to figure out the coach thing now because you don't want this to go into a direction where, you know, he loses confidence. The chemistry goes completely sideways. Whatever. Let's take one more break for the podcast and then we'll keep going. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Now, I know what you're thinking. Peloton doesn't look that tough. Well, let me tell you, Peloton is way more challenging than most people think. Whether you're on the Peloton tread or diving into their All Access membership, they've got a wealth of running and strength training programs that will really push you to your limits. And these instructors, they're not messing around. We're talking military trained sub three hour marathoners and former college athletes who know how to bring out your inner beast. And with tons of options to choose from, you can gear up for race day with seasoned marathoners leading the charge. Plus custom strength workouts to keep you accountable and crushing those goals. Peloton is all about the details too. Want to up your game as a runner? Well, their pace targets let you tailor your workouts so you can truly challenge yourself every step of the way. Find your push, find your power with [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by the all new reimagined Nissan Kicks. From the bold new exterior to the performance and tech features like intelligent all wheel drive and a Bose Personal plus sound system. Cars where I live, I live in the Los Angeles area and cars are one of the most important things you can have cause you're in them a lot cause you gotta drive around all over the place. You know what's fun? To have a nice car for an everyday commute. To have music and the ability to do hands free stuff. And just to feel safe you can do it. Drive the all new reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Head over to Nissan USA to learn more. Bose Personal plus sound system is an available feature. Bose is a registered trademark in the Bose Corporation. Intelligent all wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Season from hell Rankings we had San Francisco in the lead until today. I think it's the Jets San Francisco.

[Cousin Sal]

Was an elite season from hell. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because all the injuries they had and you know that they were 0, 500 and yeah, just like what else can go wrong. McCaffrey misses 10 weeks. IU goes out for the year, they lose guys on defense, they blow a couple dumb games like they were kind of felt season from hellish. But now I think the jets have locked it up.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, it depends how you look at it. Like my quarterback's out for the year. Maybe you didn't think he was doing much anyway. But the jets quarterback is still hobbling around and you know he's not the right guy. Right. So that's the season for Mel. I'm fine with the jets being the season for me.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, think about all the cat, all the trades they've done. They fire their coach, they think that's going to fix it. Then it's devonte Adams is going to be the savior that's going to finish. They've six points today for them. Some of the stats from this game. Tyler Murray completed 17 straight passes at one point. The jets allowed four 70 plus yard drives in the same game. The Cardinals had 28 first downs on 57 plays. And so that jumped out to me. I was like that almost seems impossible. Like I gotta go and look at NFL history and see. So you can do it on that stat head thing, right? Teams that had 57 or less plays and 28 or more for. It only happened one other time in the history of the week. The 2023 Niners. 53 plays, 30 first downs. There were three teams that ran 58 plays and had 28 first downs or more. But like that's how rare this is. That's how bad the jets were. They were historically awful. Giving up first downs on like first or second down.

[Cousin Sal]

I think the defense remember coming into this year, like whatever. Rogers was always going to be a question mark. The jets defense is elite. All you need is Rogers to be average. Well, Rogers is a little below average.

[Bill Simmons]

He's better than Zach Wilson. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Yes, exactly. And he's not. If you look at how many points they have through week 10 this year and last.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you want the exact number point total points?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Last year they averaged 16.6 points per game. This year they're averaging 18.3.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh that really?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. That's how much more Rogers is worth 1.7 points more. But their defense is worse. And they lost Salah. Who you know, seven kids. Sal. We made a lot of jokes, but their defense played better when he was dad. Coach. So he just sit back.

[Cousin Sal]

You got. As a Patriots fan, you have to love this, right? You have to absolutely love this.

[Bill Simmons]

You're both. I have jets fans in my life that I have real affection for, and they're. They're about as downtrodden about football as any fan base I know, so I feel bad for that. But Rogers has just been such a prick the last few years. It's hard.

[Cousin Sal]

It's hard. I know it's hard.

[Bill Simmons]

Not like, you know, even like that. Trading Mike Williams and making them trade for devonte Adams and all this stuff and the coach getting fired, and I love it.

[Cousin Sal]

Ball goes right through devonte Adams. Hands on third down. And then a big sack on fourth. It was just all falling apart. Yeah. I do feel bad for New York, just in general. New York teams are like 5 and 15. I know. The Liberty one, that's fun, but for God's sakes, Jets. Jets over Giants from. For year from hell. I guess so. Only because of the expectations.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I guess if you're making the case for the Giants fans, they have to watch Daniel Jones.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Who? I mean, that Panthers game today.

[Cousin Sal]

Did you wake up? Be honest.

[Bill Simmons]

I woke up. It was seven. Nothing. Even though I flew in last night, I was still like, this game is too Germany. Eisen making beer garden jokes. I like, I gotta wake up. And. And the Panthers are just awful. It's unbelievable that they won two in a row. Like, I'm telling you, they're terrible. Like, in Panthers fans, like, fuck you. We're getting better. It's like, you're not. You're not a good team.

[Cousin Sal]

I believe you. I believe you.

[Bill Simmons]

You're really awful. You're terrible at football. You had no business winning the game. Like, Gano missed a field goal. Jones had that interception he threw in the fourth, late in the fourth quarter, you know, and then, like, they run that flea flicker and he misses the two completely wide open guys, and they're talking about how upset day ball is. It's like it was third and one and you're running a flea flicker with Daniel Jones, like, just hand the ball off.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Why are you. Why are you making him do anything? It's like if I took my dog outside without a leash, right? And he. And he ran across the street and ran up to the neighbor's yard and, like, you know, trounced the flowers and then got in a fight with their dog. It's like, is that my dog's fault or is that my fault? Is it my fault my dog out without A leash? Like, no, I'm just saying, like, is.

[Cousin Sal]

This your parent calling her? No, of course we take our dog.

[Bill Simmons]

He has a leash on. It's like you, Jones on your team. Don't do flea flickers with him. Don't have him throw in tight windows when you need a score inside the 20 yard line. Like, it's idiotic.

[Cousin Sal]

That'd be a good nickname for a dog, flea flicker. But no, you're right. That. That was awful. I'm sorry you had to wake up. I mean, it put those poor. That was a hostage situation keeping them for overtime to see the freaking Panthers win 20 to 17.

[Bill Simmons]

They all seem drunk. They seem drunk and happy.

[Cousin Sal]

The Germans. Yeah. It doesn't matter. Can I. Can I tell you, I want to pitch. And this would be better than Hard Knocks. And we make jokes about the flight back from London. Like, I want to see the losing coach from checking into the airport, whether it's Heathrow or whatever. Munich, all the way through to flight.

[Bill Simmons]

New York, going abroad with Plank.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I want to see the losing coach fly home, wherever it is.

[Bill Simmons]

Munich going through customs.

[Cousin Sal]

Tanzania. I want to see what he orders and drinks on the plane and what he says if he's mean to the flight attendants and hear him cursing in his sleep. I'd watch that five hour stream. I would do it.

[Bill Simmons]

I was mad because House and I, for million dollar picks, we did Giants to win by 14 plus and Niners to win by 14 plus. So they go down seven. Nothing. Like, you gotta be kidding me. But I also had the Giants in a money line. I did like a stupid parlay when I was in Boston. So I was like, all right, at least can the Giants just win this? And the Panthers are terrible. Yeah, like, they're really bad. Chupa harbor is good. Like, and he was probably the reason they run, but their team's just not good. They don't. They don't have any. They can't quit third downs. Like, people are like, oh, Bryce Young looked better today. It's like, okay, I guess he looked better than somebody who shouldn't be in the league. But it wasn't like he was good. Like, he was missing third and nine throws all over the place. Doesn't really run.

[Cousin Sal]

I think I was offered Chuba Hubbard in three fantasy trades this week. And I was like. And I was like, mad at the people who proposed it. And then I looked at his numbers. On my God, they're. They're pretty damn good. I was like, I don't want to watch them or. And Root for their offense. Right. Why would you ever want that? Unless you live in the state.

[Bill Simmons]

No, see, I feel like this, maybe even though I lost a little money on this this week, I still feel like long term, we're in a good spot because they're coming off a buy and then they have home games against Kansas City and Tampa.

[Cousin Sal]

Who are you talking about? Carolina?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it'll be like, oh, Carolina. Two game winning streak. They've rated the ship. And it's like, I don't think they've rated any ship. I think they stink. So I guess we'll find out. All right, what else did I have for you?

[Cousin Sal]

Well, the problem is there's like nine teams at stake. We're going to get like. I know we're going to get like seven or eight teams with five, with six wins or fewer. It doesn't really happen. If you look back in the last five years, there's like two or three teams with four, you know, but to get like, you know, close to 10 teams with like six wins, it's gross.

[Bill Simmons]

When do we start taking the following teams seriously? Heading into week 11. Are we there yet? The Eagles are 7 and 2. Do you take them seriously as an actual contender who could be in the NFC title game?

[Cousin Sal]

I do and I. It's not just coming off this Dallas game, but I feel like they hit their stride, they got the running back. They need the tush push, works with their fricking backup. When stuff like that happens, like that's. That's good. I still have the Lions a big step ahead of them, but. Yeah, they could be deep into January.

[Bill Simmons]

Not quite there yet.

[Cousin Sal]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

I want to see Thursday night. Yeah. Their wins this year. Green Bay in that Brazil game. They beat the Saints, the Browns, the Giants. They beat the Bengals. That was a good win. No, T. Higgins beat the Jaguars. They beat your team, which was.

[Cousin Sal]

My team's good.

[Bill Simmons]

A corpse.

[Cousin Sal]

They're still not really healthy. Fully healthy. I don't know if they'll get there, but that's.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm going to. I want to wait because they play Washington this week. They're at the Rams, they're at Baltimore. And I, you know, I know it's a cop out, but I want to wait for those three games. But they definitely look better than they did second half of last year. Started this year.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, well, this is where they were last year, right? About seven and two or something. Then they just tanked the last.

[Bill Simmons]

Trust their coach. Do you trust the Cardinals yet?

[Cousin Sal]

I like, I like watching them. That's All I could really say I like watching their offense. Right. And. And they don't embarrass themselves on defense and they have. What do you mean? You mean trust? Like for the playoffs.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you taking them seriously yet?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, I think I have to because of their schedule and the fact that they're able to move the ball and don't seem afraid of any of these teams.

[Bill Simmons]

They have the Pats and Carolina later.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So that's probably two more wins. They play Seattle twice next three weeks.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Play Minnesota. They play the Rams. They played the Niners last week of the season. I think it's a 10.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're a 10 win team.

[Cousin Sal]

Four division game. So that's the key. Right. A lot of these teams haven't played anyone in division, so that's. That's big.

[Bill Simmons]

I like how they can run the ball like. And they're really fit. Like Connor is just. I remember when Pittsburgh let him go. I didn't think it was a big deal at all.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you?

[Cousin Sal]

Sure. No.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh my God. They could let James Connor go. Nobody said that. And I think he's been good in Arizona.

[Cousin Sal]

McBride's good. They have some weapons. Like I was surprised to know that that was Harrison's fifth touchdown. I was about to come on tonight and go on a rant about how they've.

[Bill Simmons]

Where is he?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, they've done well despite the fact that the. This generational receiver hasn't produced but five touchdowns. Pretty good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So playoff picker. If you got Detroit at 8 and 1, Minnesota 7 and 2. I'm still not positive as a playoff team because Darnold seems like he's arrow pointed down. Washington, Philly, Green Bay. And then you have Arizona, San Francisco Rams 6 and 4, Arizona 5 and 4. San Francisco 4 and 4. Rams. I think they're a playoff team. I think they're going to make it. I thought today was a key one and I didn't. I House and I talked about it Thursday. I didn't understand the line. I didn't know what I was missing. I didn't understand why people were overrated in the jets based off that Texans game on a Thursday night. I think people always overrate those Thursday night games. I didn't think the jets were good. I thought Arizona is better. And to. To me it was like an easy bet. But the line shifted. The jets were favored heading into the game. What am I missing with this jets team? They suck.

[Cousin Sal]

Isn't that what happened against Houston? Like Houston is favored by one and a Half when we did the pod and then the jets were favored. And like as soon as that one and a half, which is the mysterious number this year, flips. I get in sprinter's position. I'm like, I'm staying away from this game.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

You figured it out. That was good for you. That the Arizona. Arizona's -110 both ways to make it or not make it.

[Bill Simmons]

I like it.

[Cousin Sal]

It's a fun one.

[Bill Simmons]

The Chargers, I think I believe in them too. I think that's a five seed or a six seed. Excellent defense, excellent qb. Herbert's been really good this year. Excellent coach. They can block. Their receivers, I think are a little better than we were expecting. That Quinn Johnston, who anybody could have had in a fantasy draft, nobody took them. They have a two game lead for the wild card. Here's the key though. Their next four is Cincy, Baltimore at Atlanta, at kc. So they probably have to go two and two out of those four. Three and one, they're. They're golden. But two and two gets them to eight and five and they're cruising after that. But I think, yeah, I. I think that team knows who they are and they're really well coached.

[Cousin Sal]

Two weeks ago, I agree. They were minus 150 to make the playoffs last week. Minus 310 now, minus 430 to make the playoffs. And I'm just not used to the Chargers winning games. They're supposed to win. Right. Like this is three weeks in a row. The Browns, the Saints and the Titans. So big test next week, as we said with the Bengals. That's a fun game.

[Bill Simmons]

I have some 2024 Dallas Cowboys silver linings for you.

[Cousin Sal]

What? I thought we were off this.

[Bill Simmons]

Like I had this part too. Silver lining, number one. Really good draft pick coming. You're gonna have like a top seven pick.

[Cousin Sal]

Good.

[Bill Simmons]

Now, granted, Jerry's gonna probably trade up so he could take Travis Hunter and put him next to CD Lamb and be like, oh, look at our receivers.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Travis Hunter and CD Lamb. Oh my God. We have no. Nobody who could block. But look at those two receivers. Good job.

[Cousin Sal]

He'll mortgage everything to get Travis Hunter, Shador Sanders and Deion to coach. That'll be. That's when I think I walk away. I think that's gotta be.

[Bill Simmons]

That's it. I think that Larry David quit the Jets.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Because then he's just screwing with everybody, right? That now it's like, oh, this was a practical joke. All right, Jerry, you're funny. You're the funniest owner Silver lining.

[Bill Simmons]

Belichick or Vrabel, who would you pick? You got choice of one?

[Cousin Sal]

I think Vrabel.

[Bill Simmons]

I think that's the right pick.

[Cousin Sal]

Really?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Let's get into this. Why?

[Bill Simmons]

I think Vrabel's a really good coach and he's like 25 years younger than Belichick, right? Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

But his girlfriend is not. She's only four years old. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Girlfriend's 20 years older than Barrich.

[Cousin Sal]

That's crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

More silver linings. We don't have to watch TV segments about them anymore because I don't. I just don't think by, I don't know, week 15, there's nothing left on. No meat on the bone.

[Cousin Sal]

NFL's in trouble a little bit with some of these night games and nothing they could do about Thanksgiving. But they've. You know, one thing you could always say about the Cowboys, even if they were out of playoff contentions, like, everybody watches them because they have fantasy players. It's going to be.

[Bill Simmons]

It could be tough to shut down CD Lamb.

[Cousin Sal]

CD Lamb.

[Bill Simmons]

But in like three weeks city, Dallas has Luke in the maps. That's silver lining.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't care.

[Bill Simmons]

And then even though you have made the Super bowl since 95, there's a bunch of teams that have longer droughts than that. Detroit, Cleveland, the Jets, Minnesota, Miami hasn't made the Super bowl since 1976.

[Cousin Sal]

I know that. That's. Oh, man, I feel so good.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought. I need. I need Phil that.

[Cousin Sal]

Thanks, man.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, and curtains. You're gonna have curtains in the stadium. So the receivers were we.

[Cousin Sal]

There was the last WrestleMania there when we were there? I think it was. They're showing like the curtains they put up to block the sun and everything, like. Yeah, it's this easy. They just use curtains.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you have the curtain. The new coach theory is back. House talked me out of it. That motherfucker. On Monday, a million dollar base. He was like, we can't bet on Derek Carr. He tried to murder his teammate last week. I was like, fine, we won't. And then new coach Terry wins Darren Rizzi, who sounds like somebody you would be buddies with. Kids coming. And Brad and Darren Rizzi.

[Cousin Sal]

Darren Rizzi at the far lake.

[Bill Simmons]

Ken, he's in a fight with Ken. Harry had intervened because Ken got mad at Derek Rizzi.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, there's so much truth to that. I like this guy. He's fun. How am I not rooting for this team? He talked about the clogging the toilet this morning and his morning shit before the game. I was like, this should be my guy. And he has a player stretching out. He's like one of my exit for him. Well, what's the crazy commercial we see all the time with the Rizzi sky Rizzi. I mean if he doesn't really make sense.

[Bill Simmons]

He talked about clogging the toilet. We got to call him the Clogger.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the Clogger. Yeah. Clapper, meet the Clogger.

[Bill Simmons]

The Clogger. Well we had pit boss Rich who treated us really well that one year with the Raiders. Yeah, we won on him a bunch of weeks. Now we got the Clogger.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I love the Clogger.

[Bill Simmons]

The Clogger's in here.

[Cousin Sal]

Is he going to do that? Is that good luck? Like is he going to have to do that every Sunday now?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he's going to have to have a lot of like Metamucil cheese the night before game.

[Cousin Sal]

Bean burritos. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I broke my rule and bet on the Germany game, which I swore I wasn't going to do. I somehow did all my rules for the year. Don't bet on the Germany game. Don't bet on a game with two bad teams. I just, I come. I was sitting on a plane before takeoff, which is I think the single most dangerous time to be on FanDuel.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And just like ah, giants like you know, just killing time. Yeah. Next one was Debo Samuel. Right or wrong for getting mad at the kicker. The guy missed three field goals. Like how many field goals did he have?

[Cousin Sal]

Long snapper. Right? Wasn't it?

[Bill Simmons]

No, he was mad at the kicker and the long snapper intervened.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, he went after he got his throat.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

One at the kicker. I don't know what happened with Debo. There might be some medication issues. Did you see what he came in like dressed as like down the tunnel and then like. Yeah, he had like leather, a nice little leather number up top and then shorts and then he's like going after his long snapper's throat. But I think he's right. You can't go missing all these kicks.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, what's crazy number of missed field goals before you're really allowed to get mad at the kicker without repercussions. Like interesting. He missed seven. Could you get mad at him?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I think so. We have a three.

[Bill Simmons]

Feels like the right number, that three. Like somebody in the team can at least side eye him.

[Cousin Sal]

We have our buddy Stephen Green who kicked and he was a great kicker in high school and then college and then quit and then like he was. We made A push for him to be on an arena team. And those goal post, like it's nothing. It's really like 18 inches away from each other. He missed. I think he was playing for like Gainesville, Florida or something. He missed the field goal and they were like screaming him at him on the bus the whole way back to wherever he was. They were in Alabama. He had to drive Florida. Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of. There's a lot of that and just kicking in general. What happened like in September these. They were blasting like 57 yards.

[Bill Simmons]

Gnome is like a 40 yard.

[Cousin Sal]

And we saw it out with the Lions too. That was crazy with the. With Fairbarn missing and Lions is turning it right around.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a really bad omen for the Niners and it's something I've bet against over the years and it's been successful when it gets toward playoff time. So before this game today they were 30th in special teams DVO A they were one of the three worst teams right today. They had three missed field goals and they muffed a punt return. They might have the worst special teams in the entire league. There's no way that's going to turn out well for them in the playoffs. Like no way. It always rears its ugly head. Week 18, round one, something bad happens with it. So I'm just flagging that now.

[Cousin Sal]

They don't even get to play the Cowboys. I know, I looked at that. Do you know how many yards total yards? I know you said Baker was great today. The Tampa had 215 total yards. I said how is that game close? How is that? 23:30.

[Bill Simmons]

He was great because you had to watch it when they're like sacking him and he's just not going down. Even Brady was making noises with some of the Baker boys. Yeah, he like aroused Brady woke him up.

[Cousin Sal]

Do they have a meter? They should have a Brady noise meter.

[Bill Simmons]

Can Joe Flacco win the come down player of the year? You want to come back player of the year last year come down or is interesting Sam Darnold eligible just from the comeback and then the come down in the same year could become back.

[Cousin Sal]

Or should we go away? Should we come back and go away award go away player of the year.

[Bill Simmons]

Just leave use the back door.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I don't. I'll tell you what. I was proud of myself. I live bet the Bills I saw Flacco throw three passes. He definitely doesn't have that zip. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Like we doesn't look great. He didn't look bad last week too.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he did. The only thing. Now it's all about what happened. How dare they bench Anthony Richardson? Like, all right, it was two weeks ago. He's like 2 for 15 at halftime with 28 yards. How about they figure something out where they put them in packages and figure out how to use two quarterbacks? Is that the worst thing in the world?

[Bill Simmons]

So glad you brought this up. I've been dying for a team to do this where it's like one guy comes in one and then the next series it's the other guy and we just. If I'm the other team, I would hate that. It's like, well, both of these guys kind of suck, but now they're. You're using both of them and I don't know what to do and what defenses to use.

[Cousin Sal]

Basically. Listen, you're not going to raise the level of Anthony Richardson's confidence, putting him back there on third and 12, right? But if it's third and two and you're bringing them in, it's like, oh my God, now this guy's run for four first downs in a row. Or if he's even faked the run and thrown from. That's the way to build it back up, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Seven turnovers combined for Joe Flacco and Sam Darnold today. We're going to take one more break for the podcast, then we're do Guess Alliance. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. Unlike this podcast, some things in life should be boring. Like banking. Because boring is pragmatic and responsible, level headed wise all the things you want your bank to be. You don't want your bank to be exciting. Exciting is for three point buzzer beaters, not banks. That's why PNC bank strives to be boring with your money. Because when your money is doing what you need it to, you can do all the unboring things you want to do with it. PNC Bank Brilliantly boring since 1865 Brilliantly boring since 1865 is the service mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Inc. PNC Bank National Association Member FDIC this episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season and Uber Eats is dropping undefeated deals on all your game day favorites. This week's score Buy one, get one Free Crunch Wrap Supremes from Taco Bell Only on ubereats. And if you're craving even more, we've got you covered with game day deals on pizza, burgers, tacos and more all season long. Uber Eats Official on Demand food delivery partner of the NFL. Order Taco Bell for game day now through 1117 24. Second item of equal or lesser value. Terms apply. See app for details. So before we do guess the lines. The underdogs made a little bit of a comeback today. But you know what else has quietly made a comeback? I almost don't want to say it. I'm going to knock on wood. The tease has made a little bit of a resurgence. Eagles, Chargers. Hit. I hit a four teamer in real life. Eagles, Chargers.

[Cousin Sal]

Real life.

[Bill Simmons]

Eagles, Chargers. That's a two team Ravens on Thursday night. And then what was the other obvious one today? Eagles. Chargers.

[Cousin Sal]

Did you have the Chiefs?

[Bill Simmons]

No, it wasn't the Chiefs. What was the other one? That was like a seven point game.

[Cousin Sal]

Minnesota.

[Bill Simmons]

No.

[Cousin Sal]

San Francisco. No charge. Oh, Chargers. Just said Chargers.

[Bill Simmons]

Eagles. Oh, it was the Niners. Yeah. Yeah, that one hit.

[Cousin Sal]

That was good. Yeah. I like the teasers. I did a deep dive on something with teasers. And you know, you know, everybody always tells us we're playing it wrong. Like if a team's a five and a half point favorite and we tease it and then like the snooty gamblers don't talk to us for like three weeks, they get mad.

[Bill Simmons]

We cross the line.

[Cousin Sal]

Cause we cross zero. They said never do a teaser unless you're crossing the three key numbers 3, 6 and 7. So if it's plus, on the plus side, you want to get it like +1½. +2,7½. Yeah. And if you want to bring it down, it's eight and a half. Seven and a half right there.

[Bill Simmons]

I agree with that.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I know I'm not going to do it. I just thought it was interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, on the other hand, you just could have teased the Bills today to like, plus one and a half and you would have won because you had the Bills didn't tease Thursday night. Really good game. Eagles. Eagles. Washington. I would say this is probably the most exciting Thursday night game we've had. There's real stakes, divisions at stake. Washington could go from 7 to 2 to 7 and 4 in 5 days.

[Cousin Sal]

Better hit it. Exactly. Because I did.

[Bill Simmons]

I was vacillating between two and a half and three and I went Eagles by two and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Good. All right. It's three and a half. Oh, that's what I have.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Cousin Sal]

Not trusting.

[Bill Simmons]

Little high. I guess they think maybe the Eagles can run on Washington.

[Cousin Sal]

That's a tough spot for Jaden Daniels.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Still on the road in division. You know, they, they're not going to take the Eagles by surprise, that's for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Sunday marquee. It's a nice little seven point tees with Washington. Get them the ten and a half. Sunday marquee game. Chiefs, Bills game of the year so far probably right?

[Cousin Sal]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

So been a better game since maybe. Chiefs, Ravens, week one.

[Cousin Sal]

Lots of fun.

[Bill Simmons]

So as I said earlier, I would had the Bills by one or one and a half. But I think after today I just think that. I just think the Chiefs are going to be favored. I just have Chiefs minus one.

[Cousin Sal]

Wait, what happened? I had Bills minus one and it's Bills minus one and a half. But what, what did. I don't even understand that logic. What did you see out of the Chiefs that you love there?

[Bill Simmons]

It was more what I saw from the Bills. I feel like with the receivers.

[Cousin Sal]

What receivers being out. I mean, I feel like he's got some.

[Bill Simmons]

Cooper didn't play. Coleman didn't play. I don't know if these guys are playing next Sunday.

[Cousin Sal]

You know, they have tight ends that can catch the ball. They have that Ray Davis guy. I feel like Allen like gets it done. He figures it out eventually.

[Bill Simmons]

Zero touchdowns and two picks today.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. All right. And they still won.

[Bill Simmons]

So you're telling me I get to bet on Patrick Mahomes as an underdog again is what you're telling me. Well, that's great news. Cause there's no better bet in sports and I'll be making it.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, you should make it soon because I'm also telling you that the one and a halfs have swung almost every time this year. So they could easily be giving one and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the move is tease them right now with at least one game.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep. Do it with your beloved commanders. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The watchables. Five watchables this week. Steelers home for the Baltimore Ravens. I think the Steelers are going to be favored by one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, wow, Bill. Way off.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you mean way off?

[Cousin Sal]

You'll love this. In a teaser, I had Ravens by three. It's Ravens by three and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Get the out of here. I guarantee I'm right on that.

[Cousin Sal]

I guarantee you're wrong.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I'm saying I guarantee my instinct on what that line should be is the right instinct. Oh, that's stupid.

[Cousin Sal]

See, I thought the Steelers favored over Washington, but Washington was favored over the Steel. Right. Baltimore's got a very big power.

[Bill Simmons]

Steelers are good. All their dudes are back. Now we'll see with Highsmith whether he's Alfred because he hurt his ankle in the fourth quarter.

[Cousin Sal]

Kind of need all hands on deck.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, the Steelers were healthy until that happened, but.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, they'll score. I mean, that's one thing with this Ravens, man. Look out. There's no shortage of points when you play them.

[Bill Simmons]

Their defense stinks.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

I. I should say their past defense stinks. I think you can. If you're within seven points of them in the last 10 minutes of a game, you can go down the field and throw the ball on them over and over again, and they can't stop it.

[Cousin Sal]

That was a great. That was a great Thursday game, too. That was. Yep. I just. And Zach Taylor, we. We kill him a lot, but go for two. Nice. Nice. Need a different play, but that was a good decision.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought it was a good decision. I thought to put up that kind of offense without Higgins was really impressive, and Chase was obviously out of his mind, but now they're good. And Chase Brown had that fumble, and I just felt like that was an either or game. And the Bengals have somehow lost three of those this year. Yeah, I'm putting this in the watchables just because Drake May, for me, is now just in the watchables category. And it's. It's. I'm in charge against the lines. I could do whatever I want.

[Cousin Sal]

That's true.

[Bill Simmons]

I have the Rams at the Patriots, and I have the Rams favored by three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I said four and a half. It is five and a half. Just a little bit off here.

[Bill Simmons]

Stop it, Vegas.

[Cousin Sal]

Wait, what were the. What was the line today?

[Bill Simmons]

That's stupid. The crowd's going to be in. The Pats fans are in on Drake May like that. This would be a good crowd on Sunday.

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm saying I think there's real excitement about him now. That's too high. I think that drops.

[Cousin Sal]

Maybe a little.

[Bill Simmons]

Jets Colts, I think has to be a watchables because this is. The jets are kind of train wreck TV now, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Mm.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like when my wife watches Below Deck Australia.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

It's not a good show, but weird shit's happening every episode. I feel like that's the Jets.

[Cousin Sal]

What is that? What is that? Below Deck.

[Bill Simmons]

The below deck. Your wife doesn't watch Below Deck?

[Cousin Sal]

No, I'm on the Penguin right now.

[Bill Simmons]

And it's a reality show. It's like these people that work on yachts, and these people rent the yachts for a week, so they have to, you know, work for the people. But it's all about, like, the under underneath the boat, like, all the relationships, they're all hooking up, getting mad at each other, but then they have to deal with, like, these people that rented the boat for the week. My wife loves the show.

[Cousin Sal]

That's fun. Are you buying another yacht? Is that what you're saying? Could have been another yacht. Well, you have one and then this would be yachts. All right, come on. I'm just joshing.

[Bill Simmons]

You're joshing.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm just joshing. Yeah, you're going to get this one.

[Bill Simmons]

Jets home for the Colts at the jets minus two.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, all right. I had two and a half. It's three and a half. Come on, this is good.

[Bill Simmons]

I haven't gotten one right yet.

[Cousin Sal]

This is good. Now I'm up 5 nothing. This is insurmountable at this point.

[Bill Simmons]

It's usually a bad sign for my betting when I'm off on the lines like this.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, how long, how long are they going to be in the jets corner, these odds makers? Because this is a little bit silly. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought this would be the week when maybe they watched the jets and saw that they gave up four 70 yard plus drives and 28 first downs and 57 plays and we're like, maybe this team's not good. Broncos home for the Falcons. This is like an actual good game that I'm excited to watch. Who would have thought? Falcons by one and a half over the Broncos.

[Cousin Sal]

This was Falcons one night. You get to think I'm screwing with you. It was Falcons one and a half. I said Denver minus one. It's Denver minus one and a half now. I promise that's how it went. And they should be favored. Denver should be favored. You don't think they're better than Atlanta right now?

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, Atlanta could have three less wins and it would totally make sense.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Last 1 niner Seahawks in San Francisco. I think this just absolutely pulsates of the Vegas zone and I'm going to say Niners by five.

[Cousin Sal]

You get this one. I said four and a half. It's six and a half. That's high. I think they play two out of the next three weeks. Is that possible?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So if you look at Seattle right now, which.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no, they. They played already. Sorry. Yeah, go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

Seattle season isn't over, but it's not looking great. They're four and five and they have at San Francisco home, Arizona at jets at Arizona, and they have to go at least three and one in those four, I think, to even sniff the playoffs.

[Cousin Sal]

I agree.

[Bill Simmons]

Four, zero, ideally, but I don't know.

[Cousin Sal]

Is metcalf going to play like that? Like. Yeah, it seems so important to them, like AJ Brownish.

[Bill Simmons]

Be fairly watchables. Packers at the Bears. The Bears are not watchable. I can attest to that today. I'm going to say packers by three and a half for this.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I said that too. And we're way off. Let's say six and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oof. I guess that makes sense because the Bears look awful.

[Cousin Sal]

Everyone's out on them. Why can't FanDuel be out on the jets like they are the Bears?

[Bill Simmons]

But I'll say this. If they fire their coach, I'll be betting the Bears in that game.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Does he have to clog the toilet or you'll do it like the clogger? Shit unseen. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I love the clogger. He came up with a new coach.

[Cousin Sal]

Dick.

[Bill Simmons]

Day in the day. This podcast was a success.

[Cousin Sal]

You did. You did a good job.

[Bill Simmons]

Lions are home for the Jaguars. And you can't quite go to 10 for this. I'm going to say nine and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, you can. I said 11 and a half. It's 12 and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, stop it.

[Cousin Sal]

That's stupid. I mean, they're just going to kill some teams, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, but that's too high.

[Cousin Sal]

I love that three team tees coming.

[Bill Simmons]

Off like an emotional win.

[Cousin Sal]

We're doing it. Three.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, so we could three team tees that still at 12 and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, yeah, you could. You could get the Chiefs.

[Bill Simmons]

Can we take the Chiefs to eleven and a half?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, you can.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I'm doing that one.

[Cousin Sal]

And then the jets to plus six.

[Bill Simmons]

No, no, no. Not touching that last one is Dolphins. Raiders in Miami. And I said Dolphins by six and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Got it. Exactly. Good job. I said five, six and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

It is poop factor. Vikings at Tennessee. I have Vikings by three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no, you went low here. I said five and a half. It's six and a half. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm putting that game on upset. Watch.

[Cousin Sal]

They're not screwing around with these lines. They're like, we're not, you know, even though I know the underdogs, you know, fired away today.

[Bill Simmons]

They're making the Vikings easily, easily, easily could have lost that game today.

[Cousin Sal]

The Jaguars, I know, but look at the numbers.

[Bill Simmons]

I know it was sitting there as a loss and the Jaguars are just too stupid. Saints are home for the Browns. New coach theory still in existence for the second week. I got the Saints by one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, you get this. I had.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know.

[Cousin Sal]

Why am I doing the pick, Ems? It's so stupid. It's two and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, Sunday night, Chargers, Bengals. Kind of a must win for the Bengals. I'm going to say Chargers by one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no. Are you making a comeback here? I said one. One and a half it is.

[Bill Simmons]

That's in la. I can't. I don't think there's going to be a huge Cincinnati crack nine to five.

[Cousin Sal]

Could we go to that? We should go to that and do the podcast right afterwards. In the park Sunday night. No, we're not doing that.

[Bill Simmons]

Monday night, Texans Cowboys battle for Texas. Putting it in the. In the.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, man.

[Bill Simmons]

Cusp of the Vegas zone. Texans minus five and a half at Dallas.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no, I said seven. It's six and a half. I get it. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

You won the week.

[Cousin Sal]

All right. Six, four, one overall. I love it in weeks. Yeah, that. The league must be so pissed they have to show the Cowboys in prime time. What a disaster.

[Bill Simmons]

Can we talk basketball for one second?

[Cousin Sal]

Sure. I'm going to go clog the toilet. Go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

Actually, let's take one more break for the podcast because I have a basketball thing I want to bring up. This episode is brought to you by Cintas. In sports, you're always thinking of that next play. It's the same with business. Cintas can help you stay a step ahead. Cintas dedicated service reps make sure your team has what they need when they need it. Cintas has workwear for almost any job imaginable, and they deliver fresh uniforms back to your business every week. Cintas also delivers restroom products and cleaning supplies, and they even provide first aid supplies, safety training and AEDs, as well as inspecting and testing your fire protection systems. Visit cintas.com and get ready for the workday. I this basketball thing, I didn't want to wait till Tuesday because I think it's important. You know Giannis the Bucks lost against today? They're two and eight.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. What's up?

[Bill Simmons]

And I think the Giannis trade stuff is really going to start people making up fake trades. And so as I said, I went to that Nets Celtic game on Friday and the Nets are like, pretty good. You know, they. They don't have, like, they traded Bridges for all these picks they were supposed to try to tank. They got their pick back. They have just a shitload of picks. They have Ken Thomas, who I was really impressed by, who's a very good scorer. They have Cam Johnson, they have Nick Claxton. They Have Schroeder's playing really well. They have like a bunch of good, not stars, but like. Like enough of a team that the team makes sense when you watch it. Like, they're good. They play defense. Yeah, I like them. I think. I actually think they're a playing team at least. I think they can just go all in for Giannis because people are going to ask this week, who's the team that makes sense for Giannis? They're going to be like, what about Miami? What about. I actually think it's Brooklyn. I think Brooklyn is going to be the team that trades for them because they can just overwhelm Milwaukee with all these picks. They own their own first in 20, 25. They own Phoenix's first. They own the Knicks first. They own Milwaukee's first, which is one through four protected. If it's five or after, they get it so the Bucks can get their pick back. They own their own first in 26 and 29. In 27. They can swap with or Houston can swap with them. They own the Knicks first in 27. They have Philly one three protected at 27. They have their own. They have the Knicks first in 29. They have another Dallas, Phoenix, Houston, worst pick in 29. They have all their own first. They have a Knicks first and 31. Like, they just can say, hey, Milwaukee, here's Ben Simmons expiring contract, and here are all these picks. Just take all of them. Take as many as you want. Give us Giannis and put Giannis in Brooklyn. I think it makes sense because I think Milwaukee needs to get out of this Dame Giannis thing. I just think they have to trade Dame and trade Giannis and just. They won the title. Get out of this. And to me, it's either Brooklyn or Houston, because Houston's the other team that could. They have picks and young players. It's just like if I'm Giannis, would I rather go to Brooklyn or Houston? I don't know. So anyway, is it crazy to think Brooklyn could trade for Giannis?

[Cousin Sal]

No. Why not? Well, could you go over their picks they have one more time? I wasn't, no, but I just wanted.

[Bill Simmons]

To make the point how many picks they had.

[Cousin Sal]

How about this, though? Here's the only way I could be helpful. I'm looking at the Nets to make the playoffs 22 to 1.

[Bill Simmons]

So this is why I brought this up. Because to me, it's conceivable that out of nowhere it would be like, oh, my God, Brooklyn traded nine first round picks, Ben Simmons, contract and Two swaps for. This is the most picks anyone's ever given up for a player in the history of the NBA. But then you look at Brooklyn. So regular season wins. Right now they're over. Is 21 and a half you look for to make the playoffs. Yes. Is 22 to 1.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's the bet to win in the conference. They don't have it for the east right now. But the point is, like, if you think Giannis is going to get traded, play them. Play Houston. I don't think Golden State has enough because Milwaukee is going to want to pick some. I think it's Houston or Brooklyn or the two teams that have all the picks.

[Cousin Sal]

So if they had odds for where Giannis is traded to. I haven't seen them. If they do. I don't think they do. They wouldn't be 22 to 1 for the Nets, right?

[Bill Simmons]

They would not.

[Cousin Sal]

So this would be the bet. Like they would be like 6 to.

[Bill Simmons]

1 for the Nets or something like Houston. Houston's -128. Houston has Houston made that trade? They have Brooklyn's 2026 first. They can swap Brooklyn in 27. They have a Phoenix first. 27. They own all their own picks. They have a Phoenix or Dallas first. 29. Like they have enough to put a Giannis thing together with some contracts, give them a young player. The problem is they gave extensions to Green and Shangoon. So I don't think those guys could be in the trade, but. But they could patch stuff together. But I think those are the two teams. I think that. I don't think Miami has enough. Miami would have to put Adebayo in it. And if you're Miami, you're trading Adebayo and all these picks to basically put Giannis on the same kind of team he's on now. Right. If you're Brooklyn, you have all these role players you can put with them, then you'll have the cap space maybe to get some other guys. You have shooting. You play. I don't know. Anyway, I just wanted to put that.

[Cousin Sal]

My wife was saying all the same things today. Yeah. Let me ask you this. Giannis, if I would have told you second week of November, Giannis is 25 to 1 to win MVP and he's not a. Not injured. What would you have thought happened? Like, what the hell would you.

[Bill Simmons]

I would have thought he got hurt.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. But I'm telling you, he's not injured. Like, this is. I guess you would just would have. They'd have no wins, I guess is what you would have to think, well, the 25 to 1, he'll never be 25 to 1 again.

[Bill Simmons]

No. But let's say he got traded to Houston and they became, like, a four seed.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, those are the only two teams I can see.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I'm going to bet you.

[Bill Simmons]

Go through everybody else.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to bet these.

[Bill Simmons]

The. If you go through all the other teams, I just don't see another team because some people have thrown Golden State around, and I don't see how they could do a trade that could compete with Brooklyn. If I'm Brooklyn, I need to do. I need to do whatever I can to get Giannis, because I'm completely irrelevant.

[Cousin Sal]

But how much is this. You drumming this up and. Or like, there's a very big drumming.

[Bill Simmons]

This up because I went to the game Friday and I was really impressed by the team they had.

[Cousin Sal]

No, but would they. Would they trade? Their likely not going to trade. Like, what's the odds that they even.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, if it. Like, let's say they made me a consultant to the franchise and they're like, what do we do? I would, like, trade Giannis and Dame right now.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, you have no chance to win a title with this team. Trade these guys now. You got the title from Giannis. You have no picks left. You have no path to ever be. Ever be a title contender with the group. You have now, like, cut the cord now. Try to trade for one of these teams before these picks go away to somebody else, because the only other team is Oklahoma City, and they're not going to do anything.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I'll do 22. 1. I mean, I have to. It has to make sense that I lost the last seven minutes of my life. I have to do 22 to 1 here. I like it.

[Bill Simmons]

Listen, this will be a YouTube clip that gets at least 80,000 views. Cerule's so excited. Cerulean Tech. Saruta, come in for a second.

[Cousin Sal]

Are you there? Oh, no. I love Cerudi. What's he doing?

[D]

What's up?

[Bill Simmons]

Brooklyn or Houston? Is there anyone else?

[Cousin Sal]

I.

[D]

Why does Giannis want to go there? Why does he want to go to Brooklyn?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, that's the other thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Why does he want to stay in Milwaukee?

[D]

I mean, it just seems like he. If he actually does, like, pulling the plug in this and I want to get out, he's going to have more suit. I just feel like he's going to have the pull to be like, I don't want to go to Brooklyn, dude. This is, like, the worst place in the NBA for me to go.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

New York City.

[D]

Is it, though? Technically, yes, I know.

[Cousin Sal]

How about Houston?

[Bill Simmons]

No state taxes.

[D]

Houston. Houston's great.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, they have the assets. Like, I. I mean, that'd be a great spot for him, but I. I just. I don't know why anyone would want to go to Brooklyn.

[Cousin Sal]

Damn it.

[Bill Simmons]

Golden State would be the other one if. But I just don't know what the trade is with that because they don't have the same kind of picks.

[Cousin Sal]

Kaminga.

[Bill Simmons]

It's just. It's not even close to what the other teams could get.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[D]

It has to be, like, I want to be there. Right? Have to be. Hey, I just. Trade me here. Like, but what. He just signed a contract, essentially. What leverages he have? I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I was thinking, like, what if. What if it was Anthony Davis and all the rest of the Laker picks?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, wow, man.

[Bill Simmons]

What did they trade have to look like? But I didn't even. It was like this. I didn't even want to open. It's like the door in the attic that you don't want to open because there's some ghost that's going to come.

[Cousin Sal]

Does LeBron agree to it? If they want Bronnie? If Milwaukee says we're only doing it if you throw Bronny, Bronnie has to be in the. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Ronnie has to be in the trade to make the salaries work.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's it. Those are the only ones. You go through all the teams. It's really hard. All right, thanks, Rudy. Thanks for throwing more water on my Brooklyn idea. Sorry. Let's. Let's do some parent corner. What do you got?

[Cousin Sal]

Let's do it. What do I have here? Oh, all right. So. Well, first of all, like, you know, there's a lot of traveling in these tournaments, and we have friends in town, So I told my wife. I'm like, I can't go wherever the tournament is. It's in Santa Barbara, which is not close. Right. So that's an overnight thing. My wife goes with my son. It's a baseball tournament. It's two days. They leave, like, Friday right after school. First of all, the school thing is crazy. They had teacher conferences all week, so they're out at noon every day, five days in a row, out at noon off Monday for Vets day tomorrow. Okay. So anyway, they go on this thing. You're not going to have a problem with this, but I promise it's relatable. I see on the parent text chain that my wife paid for the dinner last night. And it's like, hey, there's no way to tell how much everybody paid. So you could ven me here and Venmo me here. And there wasn't a lot of, oh, thank you so much. Yes, I will Venmo you right away. And I'm looking at this bill right when I have a ton on the Chiefs money line, it looks like they're about to blow it. And I'm like, no, it's like the worst news I saw on my phone in months. I'm like, well, you had the Chiefs.

[Bill Simmons]

Tied to a whole bunch of games yesterday, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah, exactly. I had a lot from Saturday coming over. I'm like, sh. I'm going to get 30% of the money back. But anyway, that's no big deal. Whatever that ends up being fine. My kid goes, they win, they come in second place. And there's a picture of the team with their second place rings. And everybody's fun. It was happy. It was like five or six games during the weekend and they have their rings. And I'm scanning the picture and there's my kid with a sour puss face, not even showing his ring, purposely putting his hand behind his back because he is not. He's not okay with coming in second place. And I was like. And then. So he just came home before the podcast. They just made it home, was like, dude, look at this. You look ridiculous here. This kid's laying on the dirt, like, celebrating, waving, showing their rings.

[Bill Simmons]

You.

[Cousin Sal]

He's like, I don't like it. I don't even like the ring. I'm not even going to. I'm not even going to display it. It's like, it's like a. Kind of like a nice ring for a kid. I was like, you're a Cowboys fan and a Mets fan. You have to be used to losing by now.

[Bill Simmons]

Second place is crazy.

[Cousin Sal]

Yes, exactly. Look at. Look at how the country is reacting to second place. Yeah, you should love it. So I don't know if I should push this more or where should I be? This is a delicate balance, right?

[Bill Simmons]

I love it. I love it. He just, he's a. He's a championship kid, really. Just wants titles. That's it. Yeah, like 8% of his team. It's all about the titles.

[Cousin Sal]

It's just him. All right? That's it.

[Bill Simmons]

He doesn't like this trophy generation we live in. He wants real titles. He doesn't want to patent it back for finishing second.

[Cousin Sal]

I do respect it, but I'm going To take that ring and sell it and try to get some of that dinner money back from last night. And my wife will never recoup.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't think she's going to be circling back a week from now?

[Cousin Sal]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Hey, just heads up.

[Cousin Sal]

No fucking way.

[Bill Simmons]

Some of you still owe me for dinner on Saturday because they'll be like.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, Margaret owes me. But then I had a drink with her the other day, so it all evens out. It's all going to even out somehow, except there's going to be no money coming our way. I do love the parents, though. I do. I have to say, most of them listen to this podcast, but it just. The timing of it with the Chiefs and the field goal, it wasn't ideal.

[Bill Simmons]

So I went back to Boston because, you know, my daughter plays soccer for Emerson, and she got. She was hurt last year, which we talked about on the pod, and she had a hamstring and then a knee thing, and the knee thing didn't go away. Didn't go away. And by February, it still wasn't going away. So we started going to doctors, see what was going wrong. I didn't talk about this, but I had these different opinions from people thinking what it was. One of the doctors thought she might have, like, a partially torn acl. And we were like, oh, my God. Like, you get surgery out for a year. Another one was like, no, it's just banged up. You got to rehab the muscles around it. It's going to heal. It's Bru. You have a really bad bruise. Basically, every doctor said something different. So we decided, all right, just rehab your legs, put real time and try to build everything up around. Get in really good shape and see if you can come back. So she really was committed to it the whole spring, the whole summer. She didn't play spring soccer. She didn't even really start practicing until August and just tried to work on her legs, getting back, and they put her on her minute schedule. Raises up, raises up. And we get to beginning of October, start league play. She scores in the first game. Two days later, somebody bangs her in the knee. She's a bruised knee, like what Paul George had. So now she's, like, limping around, and we're just like. And she's like, I'm so tired of being injured. This sucks. And I'm thinking. I'm thinking, like, this really might be it. Like, I could see her, you know, like, she's just so tired of being hurt. And so she was still playing, but not as much, and she was like 80, 90%, but not 100. And then the last week or so, she felt good again, and so they gave her more minutes. So they were in the league playoffs, and she played a lot of minutes in the Tuesday game, and they won and she scored. So they went there to round two game. So I was like, I'm fucking flying back. I was going back. That's it. So flew back. They had this game, which they lost. 1 nothing. It was like your classic soccer game that they had most of the chances and whatever, but she played, like 78 minutes, and she looked like her. It was the first time she really looked great. You know, this last week where she's flying around, and I was just thinking, like, I was like, I thought it was going to be over, you know, and now we got two years left, hopefully, and hopefully she could stay healthy. But I was thinking, like, with the stuff you talk about with your son when you. You go through all these little steps with them. Yeah. You know, from like, AYSO in the beginning to when they're on club team, and you kind of don't know when the journey's gonna end. And it was just really cool to watch her flying around 100%. I was like, I didn't know if I was gonna see it again.

[Cousin Sal]

That's great.

[Bill Simmons]

But now she's got two years left. She's gonna hopefully keep the legs going. And, you know, you got to keep your fingers crossed. You never get hurt. But. But we were talking about after. I was like, you have two years left, and then that's it. Especially, like, people who play D3, you know, a lot of them are doing it because they, you know, they're not getting paid to play for the school. It's not like when you get a scholarship in D1, but you really. The people that stick with it, like, really love it, and she really loves it. So that's us.

[Cousin Sal]

There are pro leagues, though. What do you. What do you mean? It doesn't have to be over, you.

[Bill Simmons]

Know, but you see as. As your kids get older, and you see all the teammates they had, and people start dropping out, Right. And they drop out for different reasons. They get hurt. They don't want to keep the commitment to it. And at some point, people hit some sort of thing where they're like, do I really love doing this and having a part of my life? Or I don't. And they can. That's when they. They kind of go sideways with it. And it might happen when they're 15, 16, maybe they get a boyfriend like, right. And then some people stick with it. So she, you know, she. She still really loves it. But it was, it was super cool watching her fly around. That's great because it was like, I was thinking, like, I've been watching her play soccer since I was, you know, since 2009, 2008, what I. Whatever. But it was cool. I was glad I flew back. We got to hang out. Went to the Celtic game on Friday. Good times.

[Cousin Sal]

Listen, I'm proud of her for scoring a goal. I have a second place ring if she. Like, it might be a little small, but if she. I could ship it to her there in Everson, but. No, you don't. It's a great. It's fun and enjoy the next two years. But it gets me mad that. How do they. Why are there four opinions on this knee? Like, if you had had surgery that you would have been robbed of that.

[Bill Simmons]

2020. Who knows if we even made the right decision or not? You know, I'm sure we're going to look at it again. But it's, it's. The body's like a crazy thing. You have these different people look at it and it's like they're right or wrong. They see what they see.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. And. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And they judge it a certain way. But, you know, sometimes you start wondering, is somebody's snake bit, you know, like, God damn, how do you. How does you bang the same knee right after it was finally right? Anyway, that's exciting. She loves it. It was fun. It was. You know, I think next year's team will be good. So it was a good experience.

[Cousin Sal]

Nice. That's good. That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm trying to think. I have one more parent corner thing for you I wanted to mention. No, I can't see. I can't do any of the Ben Simmons ones. Can we do like a Patreon where it's just like it's a subscription one?

[Cousin Sal]

Well, I don't know if the subscription. If it's worth. We'll pay for your medical expenses. I guess so. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I just really wish I could do the Ben Simmons once.

[Cousin Sal]

If you asked him ahead of time, said, can I talk about this? He would absolutely say no.

[Bill Simmons]

I should probably. We should probably be recording them and then 10 years from now I can run some of them when he's like 27. Seems like it would be the way to go. All right, that's it for Karen Corner. What else do you have? Anything?

[Cousin Sal]

That's it. Through the ringer with Tate against all odds. A couple of times this week we did the ringer pregame show. I'm 8 and 2 with my wisest wagers that Texans. I was going to be so mad if the Texans plus three and a half didn't cover. And Roy Jones Jr. On Cousin Sal's winning weekend. This we're going to talk about the Tyson fight. A lot of people now like Tyson.

[Bill Simmons]

What are the odds on the Tyson fight?

[Cousin Sal]

It's plus 230. It was plus 250. It's tightening up and I bet it's even tighter than that. Come like Friday. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't seem bummed out about the Tysons fight. It's everything you like and everything you don't like all wrapped into one sporting event.

[Cousin Sal]

What's the most, the most likely scenario? He just gets jabbed to death. They give Paul the decision because he's the more marketable fighter and Tyson doesn't care. Is that probably the most right? He wins by decision.

[Bill Simmons]

Tyson's so old, I just don't understand how he would win a fight against anybody.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I watched Paul against Fury again. Tyson, Fury's brother who was the only real boxer. Yeah, he was good. He's decent. He was decent against. He lost, but he was decent. You know, we're betting Tyson. Who? Kidding?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we're definitely betting Tyson. We were watching that fight together too.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep. Hell yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, Cus, good job by you as always.

[Cousin Sal]

Good job by you, buddy.

[Bill Simmons]

Had few years with him.

[Cousin Sal]

On the.

[Bill Simmons]

Wayside on the front side. I don't have to ever.