Drake’s Mystery Shoulder, Super Bowl Propalooza, and a Mega-Parent Corner With Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Title: Drake’s Mystery Shoulder, Super Bowl Propalooza, and a Mega-Parent Corner With Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel
Date: February 2, 2026
Host: Bill Simmons
Guests: Cousin Sal, Jimmy Kimmel

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Episode Overview

Bill Simmons is joined by regulars Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel for a Super Bowl-sized episode packed with sports gambling talk, prop bets, and the much-loved Parent Corner. The crew debates everything from the mysterious status of Patriots QB Drake May’s shoulder to the best Super Bowl novelty bets, with a heavy dose of NFL, pop culture, and family anecdotes. The podcast delivers both a deep dive for serious gamblers and the irreverent, comedic touch that long-time listeners love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Super Bowl Week & The "Drake May Shoulder" Mystery

(06:14 – 12:26)

• Bill’s Anxiety: The biggest storyline is Patriots rookie QB Drake May’s "mystery shoulder" injury. The team's ambiguous updates wreak havoc on Bill’s confidence and prop strategy.
  • “I just don’t trust it, Sal. It’s making me really nervous.” — Bill (09:50)
• Debate About Severity: Is it gamesmanship, minor, or a major obstacle? References to how teams regularly mislead about injuries (e.g., Josh Allen’s secret broken foot).
• Prop Ripples: Injury uncertainty clouds betting logic, especially for completions, passing yards, and trick play props.

2. Last Football-Free Weekend

(02:35 – 04:27)

• Packed with subpar sports offerings (Royal Rumble, boxing, basketball), which the guys say helped ease the temporary void from football’s week off.
• Amusing sidebar about the lackluster midday Royal Rumble and its absence of “wacky nostalgia guys.”

3. Gambling Trends & Super Bowl Lines

(12:42 – 16:14)

• Historical Trends: Underdogs' strong Super Bowl ATS record, pat jersey/color angles, and some jokingly superstitious trivia about QBs’ name lengths and initials.
  • “No starting quarterback with a last name less than five letters long has won a Super Bowl.” — Sal (13:25)
• Bill’s confidence is buoyed by Vegas lines holding steady and history favoring underdog covers.

4. Super Bowl Propapolooza

(24:11 – 61:02)

• MVP Bets:
  • Strong arguments for just taking the QB as MVP: “If I had to bet on exactly one thing the whole game, it would be that a quarterback’s going to be MVP.” — Sal (27:16)
  • Long-shot and value picks: JSN, Ramondre Stevenson, Travion Henderson (especially for the explosive play possibility).
• Touchdowns Propositions:
  • “Shortest touchdown under 1.5 yards” is a perennial favorite.
  • Speculation over unlikely first-TD scorers (Barner, Marcus Jones, even Tonga at 75:1).
• Bizarre/Obscure Props:
  • “Will a lineman score a touchdown?” “Will the coin get lodged in JSN’s throat?” and other high-risk, high-reward bets.
  • “The Patriots road warrior/’Can you dig it?’ narrative,” and if coach Vrabel would invoke it on the podium.
• Novelty Props:
  • Over/under on Charlie Puth’s national anthem (119.5 seconds).
  • How many times Cardi B, rumored to be at the game with Stefan Diggs, is shown (over 1.5 is the consensus lean).
  • The color of the Gatorade, player/coach crying during the anthem, and coin toss history.

5. Prop Bet Analytics & Strategy

(For major categories, see below with timestamps)

• MVP Value Picks (27:02 – 32:47):
  • Heavy lean on QBs, but explicit encouragement to look for longshot value (JSN, special teams, and defensive stars).
• Touchdown/First TD Bets (36:09 – 44:32):
  • Why betting backup TEs and fullbacks can sometimes pay off.
  • “Barner for a TD” at +230, anyone for a defensive/streaky special teams play.
• Rushing/Receiving Yards (46:55 – 59:04):
  • Heavy skepticism on Walker over, lean toward Patriots running backs if Drake May is banged up.
  • Love for long odds (80+ yards for Henderson at 25:1, etc.)
• Defensive Props (59:04 – 61:07):
  • Picks for INTs (Marcus Jones, Woodson, Ernest Jones), sacks, and potential big defensive plays due to Darnold’s turnover history.

6. Mega Parent Corner with Jimmy Kimmel

(74:11 – End)

• Highlights:
  • Jimmy’s son Billy is in “apex mountain” of comedy for boys (8–10 yrs old)—lots of penis jokes, prank antics, “penis theater,” and an obsession with Alexa’s weather reports.
  • “Thank you, God, for my squiggly wiggly and my two big ones”—Billy Kimmel's prayers. (84:53)
  • New Year’s Eve disaster: discovering Billy has pinworms after midnight.
  • First Kings hockey game: Billy becomes a Jumbotron dancing star; sister Jane asks if everyone but Sal, Aunt Chippy, and family’s baby are robots.
• Bill’s Dad Story:
  • His dad stockpiles six iced coffees, muffins, and kids’ pasta to survive a Boston blizzard—“Like Desmond in the bunker from Lost.”
• Sal’s Gary Russell Memorial Prop:
  • Honors obscure SB prop bets that led to a real-life marriage. This year, the bet is on Seahawks fullback Brady Russell to score a TD at 40:1 (“It’s fate: Brady. Russell. Boston. Anniversary.”)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the May Shoulder Anxiety

  • “These are all my conversations. This is everything I talked to my dad about. We don’t even talk about the NBA trade deadline. We just talk about Drake May’s shoulder.” — Bill Simmons (06:57)
  • “You should be… have to play with the backup after all this nonsense.” — Cousin Sal (10:09)

• On Prop Betting

  • “The only thing that could flip it [not attending live] is if my son got really into the Pats… you have to go if it’s your kid.” — Bill (17:22)
  • “Shout out to FanDuel Canada—sometimes the American sites, it’s harder to find all the bets.” — Bill (21:37)
  • “I think the best bet is JSN for MVP … for value.” — Bill (31:52)

• Parent Corner Classic

  • “He names his penis… every three days. Right now it’s Jiggly Birkenstock.” — Jimmy Kimmel (85:16)
  • “Uncle Sal and Aunt Chippy aren’t robots. Because no robot would gamble as much as Sal.” — Jane Kimmel, via Molly (97:18)

• On Super Bowl Watch Parties

  • “We’re not going live until after the podium because I actually like some of the podium.” — Bill (72:44)
  • “Where are you guys watching the Super Bowl?” — Bill, prompting classic avoidance and worms-in-the-toilet callback. (104:02)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Topic | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|---------------------| | Super Bowl Week Open, Football-less Weekend | 02:35 – 04:27 | | Royal Rumble & Wrestling Sidebar | 04:00 – 06:14 | | Drake May Shoulder Drama | 06:14 – 12:26 | | Gambling Trends & Super Bowl Line Talk | 12:42 – 16:14 | | Defense/Matchup Analysis | 15:42 – 18:59 | | Propapalooza: MVP and TD Bets | 24:11 – 38:40 | | Rushing/Receiving Props | 46:55 – 59:04 | | Defensive Props | 59:04 – 61:07 | | Novelty & Anthem/Color Props | 61:56 – 73:39 | | Parent Corner (+ Gary Russell Prop) | 74:11 – End |

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Conclusion

This episode delivers classic Super Bowl week entertainment: a granular, funny, and occasionally absurd look at football, gambling, and family. Bill’s anxiety about Drake May’s shoulder runs like an anxious subtext through the serious prop talk, while Cousin Sal cameos with his encyclopedic recall of Super Bowl stats and incredible commitment to the bit. Parent Corner, as always, is worth the wait and brings the show to a laugh-out-loud close with stories that mine the odd, sweet reality of parenting and cross-generational sports fandom.

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For Listeners Who Missed The Episode

This summary will arm you with every major betting, sports, and cultural highlight. You’ll know the major prop leans (heavy on JSN, underdogs against the spread, and novelty angles), the fandom inside jokes (can you dig it? Patriots road warriors), and the in-family drama and humor that keeps this annual tradition great. The classic “Parent Corner” brings hilarity with Jimmy Kimmel’s non-stop tales of mischief, while Sal’s Gary Russell Memorial Prop gives everyone one more obscure reason to care about the fullback rotation.

Don’t miss the sister segment next week, after what’s sure to be a classic Super Bowl!

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Firehouse Subs. Who just dropped a game changing sandwich. The French dip. Literally one of my favorite sandwiches slash subs. Roast beef, caramelized onions, melty cheese, little freshly toasted garlic butter roll and the warm savory au jus. I've been eating these forever since I was living on the east coast in la. I think to me, this versus the cheesesteak, the French dip, no contest, way better. And I think it's really because of the au jus. I don't know anybody who doesn't like au jus. An elite game day sub. Fun to order by the way, if you want it delivered. Because they usually put the au jus in the special little container you can pour it on. Knock yourself out. The French dip here for a limited time. I wish it was longer. Only at Firehouse Subs. Limited time at participating Firehouse Subs restaurants while supplies last. This episode is brought to you by Taxact. Like an expert coach, TaxAct offers step by step guidance and guaranteed accuracy when filing taxes. Get tips along the way. Add expert assist to talk to tax experts and let our experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details. All right, we're live here on Netflix. I'm Bill Simmons. That's cousin Sal. You can also get this podcast on the Ringer Podcast network and on Spotify. We're going live against the Grammys. There's a Knicks Lakers game. We don't care. We just. We have so many props we want to get to. Plus, the faster we get this up, the faster it's just on Netflix.

[Cousin Sal]

You did this on hbo.

[Bill Simmons]

Watch the riff.

[Cousin Sal]

Didn't you learn? You're right, you're right. Yeah, there's a lot. Listen, this is. People want to see. We have. I have. I only have like. We can do this fast. I only have like 93, 94 props written down so we could just blow through it.

[Bill Simmons]

How many? What do you have? I have less and I can't wait to go through all them. I want to talk about this weekend, though, because it was our first weekend without football in a while, which always makes you sad. I feel like everybody is getting better at scheduling stuff now. Like yesterday we had. There was a Charlotte San Antonio game on like in the morning west coast time, right? There was Royal Rumble live from Riyadh. Then we had UFC and We had boxing and we had more basketball, and it was like this awesome sports day because I think all the smart people now who run this stuff are like, hey, here's a dead day. There's no football. And plus there was golf. So I actually didn't miss the football that much this weekend.

[Cousin Sal]

You think the sports gods were saying, look, we can do this. Let's band together. We could figure this out by doing it.

[Bill Simmons]

I think everybody's getting better at figuring out what the weekends are to exploit. I don't think it was an accident that all that stuff was yesterday because that's a dead weekend. We're going to the super bowl next weekend.

[Cousin Sal]

You know, I don't know that we're going to be so lucky every week to see a boxer get his toupee knocked off of the scalp. I mean, that's. That's exciting. If that happens every week. Sure, I'll get. I'll get through the off season fine. I didn't love the Royal Rumble. I don't know if you want. How much you want to talk about. I didn't love. I didn't love it so early in the day. It ruined my family. We do a pool, we have. We all get together. And they had sports, so it was tough. And there was no way they were going to go without finding out who won six.

[Bill Simmons]

It's the one wrestling thing I would not give to. To a country that's far away. Yes. Because I feel like the people coming out, I love the reactions of whatever arena or stadium we're in in America. I also think that they didn't have the. They didn't have like the. The wacky nostalgia people. You know, we didn't have like the doink the clown type of weirdo stuff. We only had some iguana guy. So. Yeah, it just. It felt like the energy was a little different.

[Cousin Sal]

That's the fun. The iguana guy. You pick the iguana guy. You have him 18. It's like, ah. You point to whoever picked him. You're not gonna win this. And listen, don't get me wrong. I love Arabia. Love it. But I just. You're right. And it was too many. Yes. They should have more old timers in there now. They've been replaced with like sister promotion guys with masks. And even our good friend Gus, I think he was my friend first. Didn't recognize a lot of the first songs.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, there was like five bodybuilder guys came out. Right. And they all kind of had the same body. I'm like, is this the new trend now? These guys come out and they're jacked and. Yeah, and one of the guys came out. What did they. They said his name was like, Powerhouse Hobbs or something. But it's not his name anymore. And now his name is this. And I was like, I didn't know who Powerhouse Hobbs was either. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

They had to keep going back and forth to what they were formerly known as.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Guy has two identities.

[Cousin Sal]

This isn't Prince. I mean, to me, it's like, just bring Hornswoggle out there. He's delightful. He's a small guy, right? Yeah. Good for a half dozen laughs. Probably don't have to pay him that much. Maybe they're afraid of little people in Saudi Arabia. I have no idea. But that guy should be. He should be on every Royal Rumble.

[Bill Simmons]

It is. The Royal Rumble is the best. When you're in college and you have a bunch of people and everybody draws the numbers, and then somebody shitty comes out, it's the funniest thing ever. And then the other time, it's super funny. And we've had it with both of our kids, with our sons who, you know, they. They have like, four numbers and they're all excited their guy's coming out. And then it's like, the iguana guy. I remember my son throwing, like, some of the biggest tantrums of his life. Cause he wasn't happy. I was telling him about it yesterday. Cause we're just watching. He's like, what's up with this Igu? And I was like, 12 years ago, you would have been losing your mind.

[Cousin Sal]

The Royal Rumble is responsible for probably 25% of the tears in this house for the last three decades.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, speaking of tears, we're going to do super bowl props. And then a little later, we have some NBA future stuff. And then we have a very special parent corner with a special guest. Speaking of tears, I've spent the entire week. My guard was like, we did the pod last week. Didn't know anything about Drake Van Shoulder. Monday, Tuesday, I'm like, it's gotta be nothing. Then he missed a couple practices. Then they were a little dodgy in the press conferences for the most part. This is all my text threads. These are all my conversations. This is everything I talked to my dad about. We don't even talk about the NBA trade deadline. We just talk about Drake May Shoulder. I have some little information that I found out. I have lots of thoughts, but I mentioned this because I think it makes it really hard to figure out the super bowl props, because I don't know if he's a little bit injured, if this is a red herring. He's not injured at all. Is he more injured than they're letting on? We just found out that Josh Allen played with a broken foot for, like, five weeks, and they just didn't tell us. So if he has, like, sprained shoulder and they're like, well, we're gonna check it in a week. It should be fine. Right? That's. I could live with that. If it's partial tear in the labrum and he can throw it and we have to shoot it up now I'm worried. So I was doing these props, and I'm like, I have no idea if my QB can wing the ball or not.

[Cousin Sal]

Listen, I think the bruised shoulder or whatever, he had, like, what? He got sick this week, too. He had some kind of tummy ache or something. He's.

[Bill Simmons]

Did he get sick or was it, like, a little. They didn't want to have him throw the ball this week, and they're like, you're sick. This is.

[Cousin Sal]

He's just obviously looking to bail on this game. I think the lights are way too bright.

[Bill Simmons]

Right, Drake, maybe.

[Cousin Sal]

Drake maybe try to tell us in other ways by fumbling six times over the last three weeks. Just let him step aside. He brought you to the playoffs. Like, he did a good job. No, I don't. I don't know how serious to take this, because it was all oblique, oblique, oblique for Sam Donald, and then it ended up being nothing. So I think that's what a lot most people are going off of. Like, all right, until it's a big deal. Until we see it, it's not a big deal. Meanwhile, I have, like, Dr. Chow texting me, is Bill mad at me? I don't want him to be mad at me.

[Bill Simmons]

I was like, chow is the Woodward and Bernstein of this. He was immediately on it with the video clip.

[Cousin Sal]

He's like, find out if he's mad at me. I'm like, you're a doctor. Pull yourself together. My goodness.

[Bill Simmons]

Come on, Dr. Chow. Look, I've watched it a bunch of times. I've been watching. So even today, they land the plane. Drake was carrying his bag with his. With his right hand down the. Down the plane thing. I'm like, good sign. Carrying the bag with the right hand. Watching the fist pump he did after the winning scramble in the Denver game. Did that with the right arm, so maybe it's okay. I will say, though, that, like, the. You know, I have some tentacles out there. And the. And the Patriots was a little bit of an off week. A lot of them were at the Celtic game on Friday, for instance. They've been around. And when people ask them, is Drake okay? He's gonna be fine. Right? You figure there's like three ways to answer that question, right? If this was Sal, it's like, is Sal gonna be on the pod today? I'm like, he's fine. He'll definitely be on. Or you answer it like, no, no, he's playing. And if that's the answer, that makes me nervous. It's not like, no, no, he's fine. Oh, he'll be guns blazing on Sunday. Right? It's more like a no, he's playing.

[Cousin Sal]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

I just don't trust it, Sal. It's making me really nervous. Yeah. And I might be overthinking it. We've had a whole week. But it is his throwing shoulder. They asked Frable, how do you feel? Like, are you worried about the Whatever? And he was like, not much. Nobody has just definitively said he's going to be fine.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't know what to say. I just. Look, you should be. You should have to play with the backup after all this nonsense, playing the schedule and.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, if we have Josh Steps, 13.

[Cousin Sal]

Of 17 teams who games, teams fired their coach. Like, yeah, well, you don't think you have a chance unless May plays this.

[Bill Simmons]

Game, I don't think we have a chance. It does explain a couple of his throws in the fourth quarter, though, if his shoulder was a little banged up because there was this specifically one in the. He's always gotten better as these games go along all year. Right. Was one throw over the middle that he kind of bounced in the. After he took that hit, which was like with two minutes left in the third quarter. And that was the one that I look back on. I'm like, oh, man. So maybe shoulder sprain. Maybe they need a week. Maybe they'll be. Maybe on Wednesday it'll be like, his shoulder's fine. And if he's fine, I'm going over on a bunch of like 20 and a half completions.

[Cousin Sal]

I can't wait to see how many overs you go with him now.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that.

[Cousin Sal]

But that's.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if he's healthy or not, but if he is healthy. When you think we did this once, it was one of the Brady Super Bowls against Seattle and we both loved the completions the over because we were like, Seattle, they play safety's back. You gotta dink and dunk and Pick them apart. It's gonna be a lot of completions for Brady, and I think that would be the recipe for the Pats. Right. Just six yards, five yards, try to.

[Cousin Sal]

Move the ball, keep the ball.

[Bill Simmons]

And he would have, like, 25 completions. But if he's not healthy, I wouldn't wanna bet that now.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. But I don't know. Do you think so let's say he's playing. Let's say he's playing for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

He's definitely playing.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. So what information is actually going to get out between now and, you know, the. The anthem? Like, probably none if. As long as he's playing.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

It's like you said, afterwards, we'll find out. This is what. Afterwards, we found out about Josh Allen.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

This is kind of how you can't.

[Bill Simmons]

Hide during Super Bowl.

[Cousin Sal]

No, I'm just saying there's the lines.

[Bill Simmons]

Where you have to practice in front of people.

[Cousin Sal]

It's fine. I'm just saying his completion number is not going to move between now and then.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

So you got.

[Bill Simmons]

Can he throw the deep ball? He's been great on deep balls. You can throw the deep ball in Seattle. How much scrambling is he gonna do? Right. I think part of the problem. I don't think it was just that one hit. I think he took a shitload of hits over three weeks. Right. He got sacked 15 times, which is, I think, a record for the first three rounds. He got hit a whole bunch of other times where he got rid of the ball in time and then he scrambled. I think he had 14 carries and took hits on that, too. So it might have been an accumulation thing. That's what scares me probably the most.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, your excuse is pretty well set now. I will say you're good to go.

[Bill Simmons]

These aren't excuses. The line hasn't moved. The best thing that I feel the best about is the line is not budged from four and a half. If it started creeping up to five, five and a half, I would get really nervous.

[Cousin Sal]

Can I ask you. This is exactly what I wanted to ask you. Like, which trends scare you, which give you hope, which do you immediately write off as inconsequential? I'm going to read. I'm going to read a few. You tell me if you talking gambling.

[Bill Simmons]

Trends or football trends, I'll read.

[Cousin Sal]

I'll read these favorites. Four and a half or higher, one in ten against the spread. The last eleven Super Bowls.

[Bill Simmons]

I love that one. That made me feel great. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay. You love it. Underdogs have won three straight Super Bowls outright and covered five straight Super Bowls and are 15. 7 against the spread in the last 22 years.

[Bill Simmons]

It also sounds wonderful.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay. Pats in white jerseys, which they'll be wearing on Sunday. Five and. Oh, straight up this season. White jerseys. 16 and five in the last 21 Super Bowls.

[Bill Simmons]

Happy about that as well.

[Cousin Sal]

You like that? All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

No starting quarterback with a name less than five letters long has won a Super Bowl. Starting quarterbacks whose first and last name end in the same letter are. Oh, and six in Super Bowls since the AFC was formed, starting quarterbacks with the initials DM are. Oh, and two in the Super Bowl. Dan Marino, Donovan McNabb.

[Bill Simmons]

What was the first name? One, five. There's been quarterbacks with five letters long. That's. What about Jalen Hurts?

[Cousin Sal]

H U R T S. No starting quarterback with a last name less than five.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, your last name.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Last name less than five.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Yeah. But here's the thing with Drake. May is his name is now one name.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yes.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like he's like Madonna. Like Drake. May's his name. Nobody calls him Drake. Nobody calls him. Has one person called him may ever in 20, 25 or 26?

[Cousin Sal]

You know what? That's true. Like, I took a lot of crap. But if he actually changed his name to maybe, then he's got the five letters and you got the.

[Bill Simmons]

Hey, man, how about this?

[Cousin Sal]

Just, like, which celebrity or influencers bet gives you the most comfort? Like Drake the rapper if he bet Drake number one.

[Bill Simmons]

The other Drake going big on Seattle. Yes. Combined with Adam Carolla, also betting on Seattle would be my two. My two most exciting things.

[Cousin Sal]

Stephen A. Saying they don't have a shot. That's pretty good. He'll take that.

[Bill Simmons]

Stephen A. Saying he could see Seattle winning 60 to nothing made me feel really good. Yeah. I like, there was some graphic of all the ESPN people and everyone had Seattle. I felt great about that. I think that Seattle fans are a little nervous about the fact that they're the favorites. And, you know, they even. Like, in week 18, they were minus one and a half against the Niners.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

People are like, are we sure? Like, in Niners had, like, half a team? And it wasn't really until, I don't know, were they even. Did they even have their respect in the Rams game? What did the Rams line end up with?

[Cousin Sal]

Not really. I mean, it would have been.

[Bill Simmons]

It was under three, right? Yep.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it was two and a.

[Bill Simmons]

Two and a half. Three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Jumped around there. Yep. It's funny because Their defense is obviously really good, but it's not. It's not like the defense. When we've seen defenses just win a Super bowl, like the. Like our favorite example, the 2000 Ravens. I think the Seahawks, Broncos super bowl is a good one. There's been a couple where the defense just crushed it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The Seahawks don't get, like, a ton of sacks. Like, I was going through their box scores to let, like, they had, like, one sack again in the Rams. Like, they'll get pressured. They're good at, like, men don't break. They're good at getting stops, but they're not like, overrunning you the way, like, I think the Texans would or something.

[Cousin Sal]

You know, their number. You know, some.

[Bill Simmons]

He threw it on the whole game.

[Cousin Sal]

They did. He definitely did. So you got to. You got to keep that going. And Kendall Jenner has a million dollars on the Patriots in a way. In a way that's good. I think, like, yeah, everything. She.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, I don't want to mention this for too long, but the thing that made me the most nervous was craft being in a certain set of emails. Oh, I saw that over the weekend. I didn't really like that that much.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know about that. That was tough. Yeah. It was a couple tough craft moments in the last week where he's become the family patriarch that. You're just worried the entire Thanksgiving something bad's gonna happen, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no.

[Bill Simmons]

We just gotta get one more hour with grandpa before we. Yeah. It's amazing how many people. First of all, the question I get asked the most is, why aren't I going? Which I've already explained.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And people are really dumbfounded for the most part in person when I tell them, yeah, I can't go, and here's why. And they're just like, I just can't believe you wouldn't go. But I don't think people understand what it's like to watch your team lose at the super bowl. And it's just not worth it for me.

[Cousin Sal]

I get it. I definitely get it. But is this really going to continue for the rest of your life? Like, let's say Drake maybe is just outstanding, and you are a nine point favorite at some point to win the.

[Bill Simmons]

Super bowl six years from now. Think it is the only thing that could flip it is if my son got really into the Pats.

[Cousin Sal]

I see.

[Bill Simmons]

Which hasn't happened yet. But if all of a sudden, like, this is happening to a couple of my friends actually have kids around Ben's age or Younger, where their kids have really gotten into it. Wilds was on the podcast Thursday talking about it.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I think if it's your kid and they want to go, I think that would flip it.

[Cousin Sal]

That's fair.

[Bill Simmons]

But that's fair. Limping out of those two Giants games, I still think about it. It's way up there. Yeah, it's really bad.

[Cousin Sal]

No, it's easier to be home.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't mean to rub it in because your team hasn't been in a while. I know you were there.

[Cousin Sal]

I saw them win the super bowl against the Steelers, and it was not satisfying because I, you know, I had the. I picked the over under wrong. So what are you going to do?

[Bill Simmons]

How do we feel about the. The over, like, before we go into the props. Yeah. How do we feel about the actual over under and all that stuff? Like. Like just the line staying at four and a half and then the over on. What is it, 45 and a half now.

[Cousin Sal]

45 and a half? Yeah, it was 46 and a half and that. But it's been 45 and a half for solid four days now.

[Bill Simmons]

So how do we feel about that?

[Cousin Sal]

You know, I think it's like, we've seen enough Super Bowl. I think it's too low. And I think, like, we've seen Super Bowls get out of hand.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Sometimes they get out of hand early, but I feel like I was looking at this. This is one of my. My plays. They're number one and number two in explosive play margins. Right. And that's basically explosive play, offense versus allowed on defense. So you might say, yeah, the defenses are good at stopping these, but if you throw in the fact that there's a Super bowl, there's nervousness, there's trick plays that aren't left in the tank.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Because you either use them now or you don't use them. There's no bad weather to consider. I really think that 45 and a half number could be off. Like two of the last year, three years we saw 62 and 73. You know, I just. And you know, that last time they played, it was 52. Should have been more if not for that fluky Malcolm Butler play. So I think it's a little low. I think he'd taken adjusted over.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what's weird? If this was a championship weekend game. So it was like the AFC title or NFC title game. Yeah. I would think it's going to be like 40 or 35, 37.5, something like that. Like a defensive struggle, and both teams like trying to have long drives. You're so right. Like the super bowl. Something about it just. Just makes. It just plugs the game into the wonky machine.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And all bets are off. And you get the one stupid play. There's always the chance somebody can run it up. I was watching. They were showing Super Bowls all week, and I was watching the. The Seattle Denver game, ironically, that I forgot two weeks ago.

[Cousin Sal]

How'd you like it for the first time?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I forgot it started with a safety, and it was like five nothing at one point, and it was just really ugly. But then they eventually grew the lead. But then the other version of that was the Denver game when they beat. I think it was Carolina 24 to 10. And it was just kind of ugly and it just. And I wonder if that's going to be this game. I know. I hear your point on the explosive plays, but If Drake's not 100%, I don't know how the Pats get to 24 and up.

[Cousin Sal]

We could be due for that. What was it? Rams. It was Rams. Patriots. Right. When there was, like, no scoring forever.

[Bill Simmons]

And three. Three with ten minutes left.

[Cousin Sal]

Unreal.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I hope it's not that. I mean, I don't need it to be 52, 48, but let's see each team score a couple touchdowns here.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, because there's a couple of variables, too, because we mentioned Drake shoulder. The Seahawks are really down to one running back, and that guy they played as the backup did nothing. And I don't. I don't think they feel great about him, but they're not going to have the same pass protection. You know, they have one and a half receivers. Barner's fine, but there's a chance, like with the way the Pats defense. The Pats defense, by all the advanced metrics, everything has been awesome now for, like, six, seven weeks. Maybe it'll be hard for them to score. I was wondering, like, that Seahawks Niners game, week 18, I think the final score was 13 to 3. It was a lot of settling for field goals and a lot of, like, choppiness and a lot of felt like the entire game was in the middle of the field. Right. That could be that, too. Could be.

[Cousin Sal]

You know, I mean, that's when fanduel cleans up. Right. Because all the props, everything's. Everything's leaning towards overs.

[Bill Simmons]

Speaking of FanDuel.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Shout out to FanDuel Canada, because sometimes in the. In the American sites, it's harder to find all the bets. FanDuel Canada was crushing it, we were passing. What did they have it on like Wednesday? They had everything. It's unbelievable. They had national anthem bets.

[Cousin Sal]

We got to do it in Canada. I think you and I move there southwest, go to Ontario. Like let's just fly out there. I'll, I'll get, I'll, I'll spring for a boarding class tickets if we want.

[Bill Simmons]

Canada's ready to roll. Speaking of FanDuel, we're going to take a break and we're going to come back and it is officially Prop A Palooza. Let's do it. The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by fanduel. It may be last call for football, but there's still one more week to make a count on FanDuel all week. FanDuel giving you a daily profit boost every day leading up to the big game. That means more chances to boost your bets and send football season off the right way. Play your game with FanDuel, official sportsbook partner of Super Bowl 60. You must be 21 President in select states or 18 in President, D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration, max wager amount. See [e-mail] gam problem. Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org ChadConnecticut this episode is brought to you by Expedia. You gotta love a good deal, whether that's a quarterback on a short, low risk contract who competes like a top tier quarterback, like a Brock Purdy once upon a time. Or Expedia's bundle and save feature which allows you to combine flights, hotels and cars into one package for impressive discounts. And not just that, but if you're a member, you can book an item now, add select items later and still enjoy bundled savings. For instance, if you're a football fan, you want to go to the championship, conference championship, the super bowl, wherever it is, and you don't know your team's going to be and all of a sudden they're in. What do you got to do? I got to get a hotel. I get a flight, I get a car. Expedia can do all three. You never know when your team's going to be in a big game. Use Expedia now that is a winning strategy book now with Expedia. All right, so before we get to the props, you mentioned how the underdogs are 15 and seven against the spread since 2004 and have covered five straight. Yeah. Did we realize that trend was happening at any point during the super bowl runs when we were making picks? Cause 15 and 7. I was actually surprised that that was the number. And maybe I have amnesia. I don't remember.

[Cousin Sal]

14. 7 would have been nice. 13, 7. The problem is like when the Chiefs are staring at us as favorites a lot of years. So what are we going to do?

[Bill Simmons]

And the Pats. And the Pats are the masters of winning, but not covering a bunch of those. All right, super bowl props. We've been doing this. First time we did it was the. I think it was the Pat's Giants. The first one, right? Yeah. Because I had my podcast for ESPN in 07 at that point. Yeah. So I think this is our.

[Cousin Sal]

That worked well.

[Bill Simmons]

That would be our 19th Super Bowl. This will be our 19th Super bowl prophecy.

[Cousin Sal]

Do you want to do the novelty ones first that we talked about in Canada?

[Bill Simmons]

Let's go. Let's go serious. And then we'll get goofy. Yep.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

So Drake May. Drake May. Related stuff. We mentioned the 20 and a half completions over plus 108. Mentioned the 50 plus rush yards 2 to 1. The interceptions minus 138. Which I think my. I. I hate to say it, but might be the best one. Either way, if he's healthy, he's going to be throwing the ball a lot every. Every round. He's either had a pick or it seems like he should add a pick. If he's not healthy and his shoulder isn't great, then that might happen too. Darnold is minus 128 for interception. I haven't seen a bet, have you, where you could bet on both guys to throw a pick. I did. What's that? What are the odds on that?

[Cousin Sal]

Plus 200. I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

I like. All right, so we're going to mark that one down, right? That's our. So you like the double pick plus 200.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. It's weird because each quarterback two interceptions is only plus 300. So both teams. Interception is nice value there.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. The two plus picks is three to one. Okay. All right, so we'll get to the. Let's do one. Do MVP first or touchdowns first.

[Cousin Sal]

Let's do mvp. Let's work. We already know the result.

[Bill Simmons]

So there was a great bet for this that I think we talked about on Ringer Gambling show on at least one of our shows with JSN a few weeks ago. I think Raheem was on that. I forget who else, but I want to Say it was like 181 before they played a playoff game. And the analogy was like, Edelman, Cooper Cup. Sometimes a receiver can kind of own the game. He's really the only receiver that those odds have dropped. So he is.

[Cousin Sal]

He's in the game.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he is. Now what? Five to one is it now?

[Cousin Sal]

JSN is plus five.

[Bill Simmons]

50. I'm saying, right.

[Cousin Sal]

Two favorites are Donald plus 115 and maybe plus 230.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, so if you had to bet. So, important note for the young aspiring gamblers and people who are going to parties this week want to make bets, we're not saying who we think is going to win the MVP necessarily. We're just saying what is the best value? Yeah, that we're looking at this like, oh, wow. That. Those are the odds. I like it. So what's your favorite?

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I'm saying both, actually. I'm saying this is the best value, and I'm saying this is who's going to win MVP. And you could go MVP. Any other position or quarterback. Any other positions. Plus 210 quarterbacks, minus 260. I'm done.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm done.

[Cousin Sal]

Simmons, I know this is a boring pick, but I'm going quarterback. I know it's a giant number, but if I had to bet on exactly one thing the whole game, it would be that a quarterback's going to be MVP. Three in a row. Three Super Bowls in a row. 12 out of the last 16. This is becoming like the regular season MVP, where it almost has to be a quarterback.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, so what are the odds?

[Cousin Sal]

It's minus 2. 60. It sucks. And I'm just saying everything else is a sucker bet. Like, I like Cooper cup at 100 to 1. That's ridiculous. That's way too high. If you want to play some of the fun ones, you'll probably throw out a few defensive players. But honestly, once it gets to, like, 2118, 2117, they're going to give it to a quarterback. And, you know, it could be where JSN has three touchdowns and nobody else does anything, then you have to kind of give it to them. But that's, like the only scenario where anyone other than a quarterback gets it in a big offensive game, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, but why wouldn't you pick the team you think is going to win and then just either bet Darnold plus 115 or May at plus 230?

[Cousin Sal]

You could do that. You could do that, or you could just sit back for three and a half, four hours and not.

[Bill Simmons]

And win.

[Cousin Sal]

But you'll you'll you have more cup is my long shot. What do you like? I'm sure you have some good ones to throw.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought Ramandre at 30 to 1 was pretty interesting. I just thought that line was really high and especially If Drake is 100% healthy, I just think they're going to try to run or bust. I actually really liked how the Rams ran the ball last week. I think Corum and and Williams, I think they were like over 4 yards of carry but I felt like they were moving the ball and the problems they fell behind. Yeah, I feel like the holes were there too. So I like that one a little bit. I think for the wild cards, I mean Honestly, Trayvon at 125 to 1 jumped out at me too because and he has been done nothing for a while but there was I'm going to give A reader named John P. Sent this tweet along. It's from a tweet somebody named Pete Collins did and it was about how Travon Henderson has been crushing split safety looks this year. Oh, 68 carries, 319 yards, two TDs, almost five yards of carry. Best in the league among qualified running backs. New England barely saw two high shells on offense. Seattle has the highest rate of two high shells and they've allowed 5.0 yards per carry against them. And the reason I was thinking Henderson was sometimes the big ass run can like just like if it's like a 20 to 10 win and he has like a 78 yard touchdown run and runs for 100 yards. I just thought those odds were crazy. So he's had two and this plays to another bet I had with him that I thought was interesting for a running thing. 70 plus rush yards for him is 14 to 1. 80 plus. These are all on Fando. 80 plus yards is 25 to 1. He's at a 65 yarder and a 69 yard run this year twice. So two in 20 games for them. 10% of the time he's busted one. This is the kind of defense that he's busted. So you're betting 10% of the time he does this. But I'm getting 25 to 1 odds at 80 plus yards. Seems to be that's what it is for 80.

[Cousin Sal]

All right. That's better than the one I wrote down. As long as we're giving love to Travion. I had most rushing yards for Henderson at 2000.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. This makes more the 80+ makes more sense because then that would be like a 65 yard run and he would get like a 5 and a 10 or whatever and he would get it. So yeah, I had him down. And then for the other one is just Marcus Jones.

[Cousin Sal]

So.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you know how many TDs Marcus Jones has this year?

[Cousin Sal]

How many? No, I don't know. This one.

[Bill Simmons]

He has four.

[Cousin Sal]

Does he have that many?

[Bill Simmons]

He has two defensive interceptions and two special teams touchdowns. And he's like an awesome kick returner.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

And I was thinking, like, what if he, what if he had a kick return touchdown? And then what if, what if he had a kick return touchdown and a defensive touchdown? It would have been a kick return and an interception. But the odds are like nuts for him. They are. I can't even find them.

[Cousin Sal]

Is it plus, is it 125 to 1? Is that what I'm looking at?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think, I think that's what it is.

[Cousin Sal]

Ernest Jones, is that what he said?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. No, Marcus.

[Cousin Sal]

Marcus is 100 to 1.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like if they play this game 50 times, is there one version of this game where he busts a kick return touchdown and gets a pick? Yeah. And if he gets a pick, he's dangerous.

[Cousin Sal]

You see, this is what I didn't want to do. I was all set on quarterbacks and now you're going to make me bet six of these, including, you know, Jason Myers and all this other nonsense. But you have to do it. It's the last game.

[Bill Simmons]

I think the best, the single best bet to me is JSN. I just think for value. Yeah, 550. Because odds are he's 10 for 125 with a touchdown. If he gets two touchdowns, he locks it. And we also have really good history of multi. I was looking at the multi touchdown game history, right? And there's some good ones like, well.

[Cousin Sal]

Cooper cup was one of them. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

We were at that Cooper Cup. So in the last 10 years, Jalen Hurts had the three touchdowns, so he doesn't count because they were running. But 22 cup had two. 21 Gronk had two for Tampa. 20 Williams had two. He's a running back. 18 Gronk had two and then 17 James White had three and I think two of them were catches. So because I was looking at, I think the 2 plus TD bet is we get great odds on that. Raheem's always loved that one.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep, that's a fun.

[Bill Simmons]

I was trying to figure out who the best 2 plus TD bet guy would be. And it's gotta be him.

[Cousin Sal]

That's JSN for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's plus 650 that he gets two TDs. So you can do that instead of the MVP bet. Cause if he gets two TDs he's probably win MVP.

[Cousin Sal]

But he might not. Yeah, I see.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I just. The only thing is you gotta get for the mvp. You probably all those guys you listed how many receptions? Seven.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you.

[Cousin Sal]

You have two one yard touchdown catches and nothing else, right?

[Bill Simmons]

No, you gotta be nine for over a hundred. Seven, eight, nine catches for 110 to 140 yards. And you need at least one TD. Probably two if it's a higher scoring game. I think you need two. Lower scoring game. You need one.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean cup had a bunch of catches. Andrew like pass interferences towards the end. Like like three of them in that last drive or next to last drive against Cincinnati.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that's part of my question with Darnold. When you talk about how he's a lock, like you think the QBs are the best bet. Yeah, there's probably going to be some pass interference yards which is always weird for these MVP things. Like I'm just telling you now, like Carlton Davis is going to get a pass interference in this game. It's like they. I don't know if you can bet on it on Fanduel, but I would, I would bet on that. He'll be a roller coaster ride this whole game.

[Cousin Sal]

He's top four in drawing pass interference calls the receivers in the league. So.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. So he. So he gets a 35 yard pass interference. It counts for nobody on. It counts for neither Darnold or JSN on that one. And then the only other one, it's like if it's a Seattle defense goes nuts game, that's probably Lawrence at that point.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he's 100.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Speaking of that, I mean I'm sure everybody has this but him for the one sack at plus 22. 122. I think that's a put in bold.

[Cousin Sal]

That's moved around a lot already.

[Bill Simmons]

It's dropped from like plus 145 to plus 120 range, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't want. So what are we going to do? We're going to take like six of these.

[Bill Simmons]

I think the best bet is jsn. But I also like the Marcus Jones one. I think those are my two favorites.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I'm going to.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you like Ramandre at 30 to 1 or no?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I mean I like. I get it. That That's. That's the kind of game it would have to be. I think your guys passing would have to be short passes the whole time. They wouldn't be able to put up big numbers. But I don't know if you could win a game like that. I. I'm urging people to bet $2.6 million to win $1 million on a quarterback to win this MVP.

[Bill Simmons]

So if the Patriots win, I think May is going to be the mvp because that would mean he played well and he carried them for some reason. If Seattle wins, I don't think that means Darnold is the mvp. That's true. I think you could. To me that would be 50, 50 at that point, like in the NFC title game. He definitely would have won MVP, even though JSN was awesome in that game. But Darnold was like 350 and didn't have a pick.

[Cousin Sal]

But if you see a Kenneth Walker rushing touchdown, then you see a JSN receiving touchdown, then it's. Then the needle moves to Darnold. Right. Because it's not one player dominating, so usually the quarterback.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, touchdown stuff. Your favorite touchdown. You can go anytime. Touchdown. Multiple touchdowns. First touchdown. What was your single favorite one?

[Cousin Sal]

Let me say. Hold on, I got to. I got to find it. Cardi B. That kind of all the stuff. All right. All right. Well, first of all, under one and a half yards, shortest touchdown. Minus 1:38. Little juicy there. It's a Brother Bryce special. It's hit five of the last six. It's hit 22 of the last 32. It really should be about minus 181 85. But it's minus 1 38. You talked about it. PI calls in the end zone, puts the ball right at the one. We see it all the time. We saw it a bunch of times with hurts, I know, Obviously, but under one and a half, I like Cup. Cup to score the first touch in at plus 1300 and to score at plus 260. I'll find some more.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have, Klepp? 1300 for first.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then what was the other one?

[Cousin Sal]

Two sixty that he. That he scores anytime.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. This is my favorite.

[Cousin Sal]

I.

[Bill Simmons]

This might be my single favorite bet Barner to get a touchdown is plus 1230. I think that's what it is. But he's 12 to 1. Oh, plus 230. Sorry. Is that what it is now?

[Cousin Sal]

Just any touchdown.

[Bill Simmons]

Anytime, anytime. Touchdown is. What is it? Plus 230 or. No, that's going to be Higher than that. I think I had a typo. Sorry, America. Plus 230. Anytime.

[Cousin Sal]

Plus 230.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. Plus 230. First touchdown is 12 to 1. Two touchdowns is 20 to 1. Here's the case for Barner. Not only is he their tight end, so he might be able to get like the first and goal from the five touchdown. He's now their tush push, short yardage guy because Charbonnet got hurt.

[Cousin Sal]

Good one.

[Bill Simmons]

And that's a recent development. So any fourth and one he's coming in or any first down and goal from the one. Like you talk about the Brother Bryce special, Barner's going to be in the game, right? Anything one yard and in, he's in. And at the plus 230. I think that's amazing value. I kind of can't believe it's not higher because I could also get a pass with him too. Right. But I like the 20 to 1 too. For two TDs.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I'm writing that down.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't necessarily like him for MVP because I don't think he'll have enough catches because he's usually like a 2 for 15, 3 for 20 guy, but he might catch a 5 yard touchdown and run for another run and then run for another first down. Any, any fourth and one, third and one goal line and one he's going to be with the ball. That's like tish, push guy.

[Cousin Sal]

I know, but can we talk about how ridiculous +230 is for any time? Touchdown Barner. When there's JSN, there's Diggs. I know there's the quarterbacks who can run it in. There's, you know, there's this Kenneth Walker, like, come on, we can move these up to more than plus 230.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, so Drake's plus 290, JSN's minus 110. This is for any time. Marcus Jones is 22 to 1 for a TD. I just want to bring him up again. The New England defense is plus 850. The New England defense is 40 to 1 for the first TD.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

And I bring that up for this reason. Cuz who led the league in turnovers this year?

[Cousin Sal]

The Seahawks.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. What quarterback?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, Darnold had 14 interceptions. Did he also fumble combined?

[Bill Simmons]

Sam Darnold had 20 turnovers this year. He had the most turnovers in the league. The number two guy was Geno Smith at 18 and the number three guy was Tua Tagliabola at I think 15. Sam Donald had the most turnovers in the league. I know in the league and up until week 18, San Francisco, everybody's like, I don't know. But San Francisco is a one and a half point favorites on the road. Missing half their team. We were like, I don't know if Sam Darnold gets to the playoffs. I don't know. Looked really good against the Rams. Sam Darnold, I trust him completely. Are you sure? We've seen him flame out in these games.

[Cousin Sal]

No, I think he throws one for sure. What do we talk about? Plus 200 for both to throw one up. It's a long game. I agree.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. So that new. So a pick six, basically New England D. Could also be a fumble recovery or strip sack. Plus 8:50. But that first touchdown, 40 to 1.

[Cousin Sal]

That's fun. That's a fun one. I had a combination here. Diggs and Walker first touchdown. Cause there's like a million combinations offered on FanDuel. But if you like the idea that Diggs is going to score and kwt.

[Bill Simmons]

Do I feel like you did this a couple years ago and it didn't work. Seemed great on paper and then it didn't work.

[Cousin Sal]

Are you saying I offered a Super bowl prop and it didn't come to fruition?

[Bill Simmons]

No. I mean there was a year ago. There was a year where you were like these are great. You get this guy or this guy.

[Cousin Sal]

I know, but this guy gives you a couple lot. Then you know if you have digs or JSN and Seattle's at the eight yard line, you're kind of screwed. Right. Like you just. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then Tonga gets the first touchdown.

[Cousin Sal]

Digs or Walker first touchdown plus 260.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I don't.

[Cousin Sal]

Fine. I'm just saying there are a lot of fun combinations out there.

[Bill Simmons]

So what was your favorite combination?

[Cousin Sal]

Diggs, Walker, your boy Stefan. It's 260. That either one of those. The first touch there.

[Bill Simmons]

I have my favorite long shot for this. If this is your Gary Russell bet, I apologize in advance.

[Cousin Sal]

Don't do. Won't be.

[Bill Simmons]

Does your Gary. Does your Gary Russell bet? Is it the last name begins with a T? No. Okay. Tonga for a touchdown is 75 to 1.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

This is something the Patriots have been doing last few games. They bring in this huge defensive tackle they have in the last game. They brought in him and Milt Williams together, which was nuts. They've been bringing in Tonga Patriots coach Mike Vrabel, famously used by Belichick to be a blocking back or like a tight end person, but then would catch balls and I think there's some crazy stat like he has more touchdown catches than there. It's like five hall of Famers who played in Super Bowls. Right. And I wonder if there's some variable symmetry with him getting some non receiver, non running back, non tight end like Tonga. Just random. Oh my God. Tonga. It's the first touchdown of his career.

[Cousin Sal]

I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

75 to 1.

[Cousin Sal]

I flagged lineman scores a touchdown at plus 1100. Obviously not as good as 75 to 1. But you got the lineman covers.

[Bill Simmons]

That covers everybody on both teams.

[Cousin Sal]

Both teams variables, devious nature. You got Seattle at the one yard line. Maybe they want to put the whole the Malcolm Butler thing to rest. Like here's the next Barner.

[Bill Simmons]

That's Barner throwing exactly right. Some number 64.

[Cousin Sal]

Someone 60 pounds heavier than Barner, whoever it is.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Plus 1100. Not bad.

[Bill Simmons]

I just, I really feel like Vrabel is going to pass it on.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

If he has the chance to pass it on to somebody. And Also this is McDaniel and they do weird shit when they're close to the goal line in big games. McDaniel has done this this whole his whole life.

[Cousin Sal]

Tonga 75 to 1.

[Bill Simmons]

The the Drake, his odds were plus 290. He's 30 to 1 for two touchdowns. And when you see them around the goal line like they did the Josh Allen quarterback draw play for him. But if he's not healthy, who knows. For the playoffs he's 24 for 141 rushing with a TD and then the JSN bet. So him being minus 110, he's 12 touchdowns in 19 games. Out of those 12 touchdowns, only two of them were two touchdown games. So he's scored in 10 of the 19 games. I don't think the minus 100 and 10 are good enough for him.

[Cousin Sal]

That's the dirty little secret. None of these are good enough really. But it's two or more. That's a good one. That's because if they play 75 times you might score. But yeah, the two pluses are fun. But how many touchdowns are expected in this game? Five.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. Depends if they. If the.

[Cousin Sal]

I think it's five.05 and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that what the number is? On Sunday night I was like this is going to be like a 30, 27. I think we can move the ball in their defense. And now that Drake's not as healthy, I wonder is this going to be a chew up the clock when you have the ball kind of game?

[Cousin Sal]

I would like to Get a separate box of the FanDuel CEO and everybody watching us discuss this, and they're like, these idiots just named 35 players to score a touchdown when there's only five and a half touchdowns expected in this game. You think that's going on behind our back? Probably.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're probably laughing and being like these guys. This is great. Their bets are terrible. Speaking of FanDuel, Super Bowl LX. Are you calling it 60 or LX?

[Cousin Sal]

I gotta go 60.

[Bill Simmons]

60 is upon us. Unfortunately, that means it's the last call for football. How you feel?

[Cousin Sal]

I'm not. I'm not feeling that great. I know, you know, you set the stage nicely with the Saturday before, but I don't know how we're going to get through this.

[Bill Simmons]

I really don't. Well, we're doing all of our props, we're doing all of our predictions all week long, but FanDuel has a $6 million. Yeah. TD jackpot.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

Place any anytime TD bet on the super bowl, the jackpot token applied, and if the select player scores the first TD or the last td, not only do you win your bet, you get to split the prize pool with the others who selected the same TD score.

[Cousin Sal]

If you take Tonga, that means who are you splitting it with? Well, now. Now it's gonna be a bunch of people. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So we can go first or last TD? We wanna go first. I like Barner at 12 to 1 for the first TD, but I'm willing to be outruled by you. What's your favorite?

[Cousin Sal]

No, if you like that, that's fine. And I think you gotta go big numbers here because like I said, those first four or five are not worth it at plus 140 and 230 and all those Cooper Cup. But if Barner is a good. You state your case. I like it. It's fine.

[Bill Simmons]

Barner, I can get. I can get the first and goal from the one following the pass interference. Little tush push thing. Or maybe they try to run in, they couldn't get it. Now it's third and one and they bring them in to get a little play action. I wouldn't be excited at all.

[Cousin Sal]

You'd be so pumped, you'll be like, yeah, barner, we're down 10 nothing.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm just going to be silently by myself, just freaking out. That's our pick for the jackpot. Listen to Bill Simmons podcast all week and the Ringer gambling show and continue to place your bets on FanDuel sportsbook for the big game. FanDuel play your game. Okay. Rushing stuff. Drake may under 36 and a half or over.

[Cousin Sal]

Boy, this moves around so much. Didn't it already move 4 yards?

[Bill Simmons]

40 plus yards is now plus 108. 50 plus yards is plus 260 is plus 350. If I knew he was 100% I would be banging the 50 plus for 2 to 1. And if it turns out on Wednesday, Thursday, he's cleared. He's 100% 50 plus. Because I think he's. We've seen it. He needs to use his legs to help him move the ball.

[Cousin Sal]

So you think if he's not 100% he'd take off more. There'd be more design quarterback.

[Bill Simmons]

But you're going to get hit though.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, maybe he doesn't take the inbounds and everything. Maybe it's a little more sliding. Maybe he finds a sideline more. But it may be a couple.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't like tentative drinking. Drake May. Okay, and we mentioned the tray beyond stuff.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

70 plus 14 to 1. 80 plus 25 to 1. What was your favorite?

[Cousin Sal]

Well, I like the Trayvon to more most rushing yards although you crushed that with the 80 plus. It gets 25 to 1. How about this? Any player rushes for 2.05plus which would be our super bowl record which by the way is held by Timmy Smith who did this. Washington against Denver. This is this an unbreakable record. This is a 38 year old record. He did it in 22 carries. I feel like at 100 to 1 you have a couple with great breakaway speed and ability with Kenneth Walker and Travion Henderson as we met like 100 to 1, 205. Is this just oh, this never going to get beaten.

[Bill Simmons]

The problem I was looking at Walker. I actually like the under for him at 73 and a half just because the Pats run day has been so good. The problem with Walker is he's been a 15 to 19 carry guy like his whole career. He's not like a workhorse running back. He's not like a huge guy. He's had a bunch of injuries over the years and even in that last game they were pretty careful. Like they brought in the backup. They had wide receivers in the backfield. A couple times they used Barner. I don't think he'll get to 20 carries, do you?

[Cousin Sal]

He kind of gets lost in those holes though. I don't want to compare him to Barry Sanders. But you're like, oh, he's bottled up after. It's like it really is just the explosive play potential Right. I don't think he's going to do it with, you know, six yards of carry for 35 carries. That's not how he would get this.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

But.

[Cousin Sal]

And then you're a guy, too. I mean, these guys, you don't see this where these guys have gigantic. Would you say 69 and 65 yards? That. That would help. That would help to get to 2.05.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't need to get two of them.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

101'S interesting. That would be Walker just absolutely murdering us.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So this is for the Drake May. Oh, I'll do the Seattle quickly. I thought the under 73 and a half for Walker, under for the backup Polani. This one was interesting. JSN 0.5 rushing yards is the over under. I was like, wow, that's low. They'll just do a sweep of them. I looked it up, said four rushes in September. They don't use them that way at all because they need them so badly for the past stuff that they don't. They don't run. Like in the beginning of the Seattle Denver game that I was watching, they got the safety. They ran that quick, sweet play with Percy Harvin that always seemed unstoppable when he's in motion, full speed and they just hand it off. And you would think they would do that with jsm, but they don't. They run that play for Shahid. So I actually like the under for that.

[Cousin Sal]

What was Shahid? Shahid's probably.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, Shahid every. That's a popular one. And everyone got killed on that last week. Right, right, right. Yeah, but they tried it. They ran the one sweep of the one.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, look, like we said, this is not where you don't. You don't keep the trick plays in the bag, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

No. Well, yeah, you're right. If you're gonna run jsn, this is the week because you're not doing it. You're zagging. But the ones I really like, I like these Raman dreads. His over is 49 and a half. And you look at like. So these are like, since the Buffalo game that they Lost, he was 6 for 50, 8 for 51 against Baltimore, 8 for 47 against the Jets. They took him out against Miami 7 for 131. Took him out. Chargers playoffs, 10 for 53. Houston 16 for 70. And then Denver 25 for 71. Especially if Drake's not 100% healthy, they're going to be trying to run the ball.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And the other one I really like 20 plus first quarter rushing yards is plus 1, 74. And the Pats always start out slow. They try to establish, you know, try to keep the ball, move the chains, get some first downs. 20 plus sounds great.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Plus one 74.

[Cousin Sal]

The tough thing with the first quarter is you don't know if you're getting the ball right. Everyone's very, everyone's very conservative, which lends towards your bet winning, right? Yeah, yeah. So. And I have some props, receiving props that go along with that. But. Yeah. How many drives you need for that? You need two or one.

[Bill Simmons]

I need, I need two and maybe even one if he busts like a 13 yarder, which he's prone to do. The other one I like for him was five plus rushing yards each quarter plus 2:40. Just five.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a good second quarter would be the hard one because you have like the, there's a two minute drill potential. Then fourth quarter, same thing.

[Cousin Sal]

Look, you're stuck with this whole, this Rabel thing and he's like now copying like Belichick how frustrating it was, was it for gamblers to, you know, worked out super bowl wise for you guys. But you didn't know the snap count for your running backs ever. Like that was a secret. Ramondre snap count was split with, with Henderson like seven weeks 17 and 18. As. As late as that. Then it was like 94 to 6% in favor of Ramondra Stevenson, which is crazy. So Patriots fans still talking about that kick return in the preseason. Give some love here.

[Bill Simmons]

Even somebody like Bobo. I was looking up that. Yeah, looking up Seahawks snap counts. It's like Bobo played right. 19, 19 plays last week.

[Cousin Sal]

Seahawks snap counts.

[Bill Simmons]

We're doing, we have all this God bless all this shit now. Yeah. So I like, I think out of all those, my favorite is probably just the over 49 and a half for him. The straight up. But I like that. 20 plus first quarter. Any other rushing ones from you?

[Cousin Sal]

I had more. I have a bunch of receiving.

[Bill Simmons]

I have good. Yeah. Smith the jigba 90 plus is minus 128 for receiving. 100 plus is plus 116. 125 plus is plus 265. A lot.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, if you like them to win MVP, you're going to like all those numbers. Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Right. I would at that point just bet the mvp. Cause you get better at the question for me is are the Pats going to do the thing where they try to actually take out cup and just hope JSN doesn't go nuts or do they try to take out JSN and steer everything to cup and Barner and some of these other guys. I don't know what the strategy is going to be.

[Cousin Sal]

You know, the old Pats would do that. Put the two guys on the one on the best and then the next best on that. So that's interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Make Cooper cup be beat you.

[Cousin Sal]

This is a big spread in terms of your best guy and their best guy. 93 and a half for JSN and Diggs is 43 and a half. Like, have we seen a. A spread of 50 before in a while? I don't think. I don't think so. But yeah, I mean, I have a. I have a few here. Well, let's see. Do you want to go? Did you have any.

[Bill Simmons]

No.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Go.

[Bill Simmons]

Let me hear them. All right.

[Cousin Sal]

Henry catch on the first drive plus 250. I don't have the data, but to me, and especially if there's shoulder issues, this is good. Get rid of the butterflies.

[Bill Simmons]

First pass, short one.

[Cousin Sal]

Tight end settles in the first level, four yards over the middle. I would bet A.J. barner at similar odds.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Seattle, 29th in the league against tight ends. So Hunter Henry, props in general. There you go. So Hunter Henry anytime. Touchdowns plus 2, 30. But Hunter Henry, where the ball is tipped by six or more Seahawk defenders before he catches it, is also plus 2:30. So lucky. So lucky.

[Bill Simmons]

I was out of Ernest Jones for that too, because Drake's almost thrown picks to linebackers. I think two straight weeks.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

[Bill Simmons]

Anyway, close.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, I got a bunch. Henry over half a receiving yard first quarter, if you want to do that same kind of thing. Very conservative plan. Diggs, four plus receptions. They play zone most of the time. Seattle. And he's around five catches a game against teams that play zone. He's like 10 top 10. 11 receiver versus the zone. I would go with that. All right, you go. I catch my breath here.

[Bill Simmons]

My favorite guy for this game, for this category, is Matt Collins, who became a really, really essential, important patriot who is on the field a lot because he's such a good blocker and became a trusted Drake guy and then got hurt and missed four games. Came back last week. He's 30 plus yards, is even 40 plus receiving yards from his plus 188. 50 plus is plus 310. 70 plus is plus 750.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Let me read you some of the big games he's been in this year in the second half of the year. Denver last week, 2 for 51. Baltimore 7 for 69. Buffalo 4 for 41. Tampa 6 for 106. Cleveland 7 for 89. I think I. My favorite out of all these is the 50. 50 plus yards for him. Plus 3. 10 is the one I would go with because I think he's going. If they fall behind, great for the bet. He usually has one big play if they're winning. So that's also good for that bet. Either way, in a weird way, I feel like he's kind of more reliable than Diggs. Diggs has been really hit or miss in these big games. He's been awesome. Carried them in some games. Other games, like you forget. He's out there. Yeah. And he doesn't play all the time either because they keep his snap count. Collins is going to be out there a lot.

[Cousin Sal]

I do like Diggs to impregnate a cheerleader before halftime at 30 to 1.

[Bill Simmons]

I knew that was going.

[Cousin Sal]

Male cheerleader, 7:50 to 1. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

He only had four kids this year. It's fine.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, that's it. All right. Your Matt Collins is my K' Sean booty. Because I have him 90 plus yards at plus 880. And it's kind of the same reasoning as the Travion Henderson thing. Right. Like he. He busts big plays. He has longs of 39 twice. He has a long of 42 along of 32, which puts him right in the mix. And if they do focus on Diggs.

[Bill Simmons]

So you have 90 plus yards for him.

[Cousin Sal]

90 plus is plus 8.

[Bill Simmons]

80.

[Cousin Sal]

Most receiving yards is plus 1300.

[Bill Simmons]

Same rationale as Trey Henderson. Most receiving yards in the game.

[Cousin Sal]

In the game.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I know. It's asking.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow.

[Cousin Sal]

Jsn.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. That would almost have to be an injury. Yeah. I think the cup odds were interesting just because if they do the thing where they try to take out JSN Cups, over is 32 and a half. 40 plus yards, plus 1, 36, 50 plus plus 2, 25. He has to be out there a lot. Cause he's such a good blocker.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And you know he's trying to win a Super bowl after the Rams gave him up. There's. I'm sure that'll be a huge story this week. How hurt he was that the Rams kind of cast him aside.

[Cousin Sal]

If you're a Cooper cup, do you let loose that you might retire after this game and then you get some MVP love?

[Bill Simmons]

I would just say that every year. Yeah. Once you're over 30 as a football.

[Cousin Sal]

Player, we should say that for this prop thing. This is probably it Guys, we're going to retire after year 19. This is it.

[Bill Simmons]

I. I should start that. Yeah, this could be it. This might be the last time you get to enjoy us. So your favorite out of all these is what? My personal favorite is 50 plus, Matt Collins plus three. 10. Your favorite.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm gonna go booty. I'm gonna go booty dot 90 plus at plus 880. That would be my favorite. Yeah, but there's a couple Seattle guys too, like Holani. Over nine and a half receiving. He caught 27 last week for, you know, backfill salt thinned out plus running backs, I think account for 25% of New England's allowed receptions, which is the third highest. You know, everyone's got Kenneth Walker over 20 and a half, so I don't love that as much, but he did have 78 in two playoff games. He did it five times before that. That's about it.

[Bill Simmons]

I do feel good about our defensive line against, like putting real pressure on Darnold. I think they kind of lucked out with who they played the last few weeks. And I thought the Rams defensive line was disappointing last week. But no Charbonnet, who was their big pass pro guy. Right. The fact that this guy Holani has to probably actually be out there at least, what, 25% of the snaps. So that might help your catch bet if he's a better blocker. Defensive stuff really quickly. I mentioned Lawrence was plus 122 for a sack. Lawrence having a sack in each half was 10 to 1. He only has six sacks on the air, so it's not as enticing as it looks. Interceptions, other than The Marcus Jones one. Woodson on the Pats. Rookie safety, 24 years old, he's nine to one for a pick. I think he's been playing really well the last few weeks and he's always around the ball and he's either had a pick or dropped a pick. Right. I'm telling you, his hands are on the ball. That one jumped out to me. And then Ernest Jones mentioned him earlier, 11 to 1 on that little 7 yarder over the middle that either gets tipped or Drake doesn't see the guy. Right. I thought those were my two favorite interception ones I like.

[Cousin Sal]

I think we load up on this category because this could be a sloppy game. We sort of like both players to throw an interception, maybe even more than that. So let's just take the best there is. Like let's take Christian Gonzalez at +650. Red hot. Add one against the Broncos. You know, if you think Darnold with 14 on the year is going to throw one. You might as well cover your bet.

[Bill Simmons]

With the and six fumbles. Yeah, he's dying. He's dying to give us the ball.

[Cousin Sal]

There you go. And so I like them. I like Emen Yuri on the other side. For Seattle to take one, I think there could be like a safety blitz again. Like they're going to. They're going to like they're not going to leave anything, you know, left unfold. Like I feel like I know he's against tight ends. He's not the best but you know May already took 15 sacks so if you can get plus 65640 for em and your. That's a sack. Actually that's not for an intercept.

[Bill Simmons]

So I like all the sack bets for Seattle for the odds of them just based on the fact that the Patriots have been giving up sacks entire playoffs. Yeah. Even though Seattle had one, they're basically one sack a week the last couple of weeks. But maybe this is the week they break out some random stuff. Before we get to your really goofy stuff. No touchdown in the game is 175 to 1. Double overtime is 101 on FanDuel. Wow. A correct score repeat of the Malcolm Butler game. Patriots 28. Saw that Seattle 24 is 350 to 1. And then national anthem. National anthem as of right now, 119.5 seconds minus 110. Okay, take us through some of the wacky ones.

[Cousin Sal]

Well let me just read a couple more that before we get to the. The pregame and everything else. I'm picking the game right now. I'm going to say 33 20. Seahawks at 250 to 1. That that Patriots score. 20 points is 10 to 1. 21 is 19 1. I know you hate that. Minus 500 that Chris Collinsworth calls the Seahawks blowout when a good old fashioned Ash kicking. So that's going to happen. Yeah. Kicking.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if he's heard. I've heard him say that before. So.

[Cousin Sal]

Come on.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm kicking guns. Ash. Mike.

[Cousin Sal]

Mike. You know these guys are getting Ash on the side. You know this seemed mean but Fanduel put it up. Seattle who attempt to pass at the one is plus six fifty. That's a Malcolm Butler, you know, a nod like I feel like this if you're Pete Carroll. Do you bet this as an emotional hedge?

[Bill Simmons]

I just. Pete Carroll can't watch.

[Cousin Sal]

He can't watch like he's three and four. Takes his team to three and 14. He watches Geno Smith get ruined. He's 74 years old. That's your miserable swan song in the NFL. He's fired in disgrace. He wants to be left alone. Here's two more weeks of the Malcolm Butler play followed by an uninspiring Raiders hire which is going to further remind you of.

[Bill Simmons]

Kubiak already has the job apparently.

[Cousin Sal]

That's right. I think that's it. Did that go. Did that bust break already?

[Bill Simmons]

All right. Would you hire the. Would you hire a guy before you made sure he was good in the Super Bowl?

[Cousin Sal]

You know that's not worked before, right? What was it? Was it the four?

[Bill Simmons]

Is he going to be nervous to be aggressive in the super bowl or less?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. I mean Donald's going to throw eight interceptions now because. Because of this team. The score three times in a row. I'm not doing you any favors with the vig. Minus 1:66. The Eagles scored six times in a row last year. The year before the Chiefs scored three in a row. The Bengals did it super bowl out here with so five. This happened at four of the last six. 16 and 10.

[Bill Simmons]

So you basically need like the last two of the second quarter and then you also have the ball in the.

[Cousin Sal]

Third quarter kind of thing there kind of thing. I think this should be minus 220 or minus 2 30. Let me see. Sorry. Not.

[Bill Simmons]

Did we mention the kicker Props about like total number of points scored by the kickers. I always thought that was a good one.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It wasn't ten and a half. Well Seattle, Seattle's kicker to have ten points or more that. I thought there was good juice on that. I like that one.

[Cousin Sal]

Did you have tie Patriots last week for Denver? The Denver game.

[Bill Simmons]

That one house have that 16 one. We. We didn't actually bet it in real life.

[Cousin Sal]

You didn't make a big. Big enough deal out of that. Yeah. It's also 16 to 1 if you like the Seahawks and a lot more if you want the Patriots.

[Bill Simmons]

What is it for the Patriots?

[Cousin Sal]

I didn't look cause they're not going to win. I didn't feel it mattered. But I will say Pat's dick. Pat's over nine and a half. Second half is minus 128. Don't you like that a little bit Almost any. Like they're a second half team even if they have to come back. That's especially good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, always. Second and third quarter seem to be the quarters.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Quarterback shoulder might not work. Still positive.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm ready for the. I'm ready for the. The nonsensical stuff. The novelty props.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, go. Let's see.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, he said 119 and a half. This is Charlie Puth singing.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

I think he's friends with our buddy Daniel, so it'd be nice if we could find out what that is. But this has gone under in three of the last four. Three of the last seven, though, have come within seconds of this. So. And there's no evidence of. You know, usually you could go to YouTube seeing him do it. He played this on the piano in a minute and 13 seconds, but that's a bad indicator. So what I would rather do is Last Brave. Home of the Brave. That's held over under three and a half seconds. I'm going over. This is your time to show off Charlie Puth.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

And I think, you know, it's tough because they'll say brave and then director almost always cuts to the fighter jets. And so you don't really know when the brave ends. And you end up arguing with a guy from Antigua on the. On the phone calling you Mr. Saul, trying to get your money back. But those are the old days. This is FanDuel. They're going to pay up over three and a half. So there you go. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That is. There was one time, I can't remember, we were watching together and we had no idea when the song actually ended because they cut to the fly Away and we were like, what happened? Was there an extra second in there?

[Cousin Sal]

They're too loud, these fighter jets.

[Bill Simmons]

Is there any way we can get inside information from PR agent of the stars Louis K. Nice.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, he steered us. Did he steer us right or wrong with this before?

[Bill Simmons]

Twice.

[Cousin Sal]

He did. Okay. He's freaking out. He did.

[Bill Simmons]

And then he got really upset that we talked about on a podcast. So we said we wouldn't do that again.

[Cousin Sal]

We'll never do that again. But, Louis, come on.

[Bill Simmons]

Except for the two times he gave us winners. Yeah. Does he represent Charlie Puth?

[Cousin Sal]

He should. Just for this, you can lose him as a client after the game. Will a player or coach cry during the answer?

[Bill Simmons]

Saw this?

[Cousin Sal]

I say no. Plus 184. I think it's worth it. You need to see a visible tear running down the cheek. That's how it's explained on FanDuel. That's a pretty big threshold. What do you think?

[Bill Simmons]

It's a tough one. I think in this social media era, you're going to fight off the tears more than you would in, like, 1990 where you cry. And it's just the moment comes and goes now, if you cry, you're a meme for the next two days, potentially especially if your team loses. I think you fight the tears off. I'm going, no, yeah, yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm the same way. Like the. The one they go to was the Sirianni, like crying like a 12 year old at a Taylor Swift concert. But I don't think we see that again. I don't think. I think, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Syriani can't really be compared to other humans. Right?

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Just in general.

[Cousin Sal]

Coin toss. Tails. Heads. Minus 104. See if you could find a better vig than that. The winner of the coin toss. This was interesting. Is 25 and 34 in the super bowl only. So if you're smart, you'll try to lose the coin toss. Tails is 3128. Tails is 12 of the last three years, eight of the last 12. The last time the super bowl was in Santa Clara, it came up tails. I'm going with tails. I wouldn't say it's never fails, but I think it's the pick. What do you got? You have to be on record. What are you saying?

[Bill Simmons]

This is where you and I, both of them, love gambling. This is where we break. This is where I wave goodbye. I can't bet the coin toss. I just can't. And I don't care about the history of it. It's just. I did. I've lost it. It's just like, you might as well.

[Cousin Sal]

You have to lose $1,000 before the game even starts to consider yourself a traditional.

[Bill Simmons]

I was more excited. There were bets about at least on FanDuel Canada. They were bets on temperature of the game. And it had these 5 degree radiuses, but it was all in Celsius. And even though I graduated with a master's degree, I couldn't understand the Celsius.

[Cousin Sal]

I did the conversion. So you converted them. 16 to 20 degrees Celsius is minus 125. That's 61 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's gonna be lower. I think we're gonna be in the high 50s. So what's that?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, really? Oh, I think that's a good range. I don't know. I think you get plus 140 for the Patriots.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I mean, that'd be amazing for the Patriots. Drake Bay hasn't played a game in normal weather since, like mid November.

[Cousin Sal]

Can you tease that to 74 degrees plus 10 and a half?

[Bill Simmons]

How about Spando? Can we tease the Patriots with the degrees? Tease it down to over 51 degrees.

[Cousin Sal]

There is a weird.

[Bill Simmons]

How do they know what the weather is a week from now?

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

I've never understood that.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, that's a big range, though. They don't. They probably.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, even last week they were saying how, yeah, there might be some flurries in the second half. It was a fucking blizzard.

[Cousin Sal]

I've been betting on the weather for a while, and it gives me an excuse to go outside. I do kind of like it. I do like betting on the weather. There is a weird one that the coin is flipped and it gets lodged in JSN's throat, rendering him ineligible for the game. Pats get so lucky. That's plus 250. Cardi B. How many times they show her?

[Bill Simmons]

Odds are she's with Craft, I would think at this point, I don't know if they're going to go less craft camera time or if there will be the same amount of camera time. I think they show her at least four times.

[Cousin Sal]

Really? Oh, wow.

[Bill Simmons]

What is the over under?

[Cousin Sal]

It's only one and a half. Oh, over, over. Oh, okay.

[Bill Simmons]

She just sang on snl. Yeah, she's huge right now.

[Cousin Sal]

They'll show her. All right. Does she wear a Stefan Diggs Jersey? Yes, it's plus 170. Or does she have, like, an outfit change?

[Bill Simmons]

It could be like a chrome hearts type of specially made Stefan Diggs jersey that has, like, stuff on it. I could see that.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that bad luck, though?

[Cousin Sal]

No, I actually think she does wear it. You know that she's also like, -250 to appear with Bad Bunny, so that could happen, too. You might see she has two opportunities to wear the jersey. Gatorade. I know you don't love this.

[Bill Simmons]

Orange plus 236 more than that. Coin toss. Okay.

[Cousin Sal]

Orange plus 230. Blue plus 250. Yellow, lime green. You get all three for plus 260. Yellow, green. Last year, one with the Eagles, plus 260. Orange. Way too chalky at plus 230 for something that's happened once in eight years. But go ahead. What are you going to say?

[Bill Simmons]

Does it have to be the Gatorade for both teams? Is it the same color on each sideline? I can't remember.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh. Oh, I don't think so. No. I think that was always a thing. Like, this team might go one way, this team the other.

[Bill Simmons]

Because if it's the Seahawks, they're going to go yellow, lime green. Right. That goes with the jerseys with the Patriots. Probably like a Blue or a red.

[Cousin Sal]

I've been wrong about all this almost every year and I love it. I love going with it. But what about.

[Bill Simmons]

It's the last bet of the game. Like the game's over at that point. This is it. It's our farewell. Other than the guy crying and the podium.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, that.

[Bill Simmons]

That.

[Cousin Sal]

I'll get to that in a second, but plus 1100 for water slash clear. I like that. 17 years ago, water slash clear at a four year run. So people are health conscious now. I kind of like that at plus 1100.

[Bill Simmons]

That would be my pick. Is there a bet for the Pats winning and Brable doing the can you dig it on the podium? Because they've embraced this whole warriors movie thing.

[Cousin Sal]

I haven't seen it.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if you've been following this. Yeah, because they would been the road warriors. They're nine and oh. On the road. This would be their 10th road win and they're really pushing this road thing. Matt Collins came in last week. He was doing the bottles. The only thing they haven't really done yet is the. Can you dig it? Cyrus's famous speech. Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay. If that happens, put odds on me not doing the podcast because you're gonna have to tag Joe House in emotionally. I'm not gonna be.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Next week, no matter who wins. We're not going live until after the podium because I actually like some of the podium.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

After like the first two in the mo. It's fun, people like that.

[Cousin Sal]

The very last thing to bet on is the MVP who he thanks. Right. God is might as 290 teammates plus 210. And listen, let me just say something. I'm happy for everyone who thanks Jesus. It's great that faith is such a strong presence in their lives. But if God is as great as everyone wants him or her to be, then they have to forgive you for not mentioning them first when you're handed the MVP award. Your teammates, though, who risk their lives getting their heads bashed in for 21 weeks and are right there next to you may not be as forgiving if they're not mentioned and you're standing right next to them. I would say plus 2, 10 for teammates. Hopefully this sinks in.

[Bill Simmons]

So it's teammates plus 2, 10. God is who is what?

[Cousin Sal]

God is who is A very tough question.

[Bill Simmons]

No, God.

[Cousin Sal]

What are the odds on God minus 2,90 for God.

[Bill Simmons]

Anybody else in there, Coach?

[Cousin Sal]

There is, Coach. Wait, hold on. Let me see if I can find it.

[Bill Simmons]

Because Drake May is a wild card to thank his Brothers first. He's very close to his brothers.

[Cousin Sal]

He's the God religious figure. Minus two 90 teammates plus two 10 family plus 1260. That's who you like for Drake. May fans 18 to one.

[Bill Simmons]

Drake would go teammates first. And I think Sam Darnold would too. Unless he uses the opportunity to tell the Vikings to fuck off, which I don't think he would.

[Cousin Sal]

Interesting. That's not in there. Nobody thanks the coach. That's 20. That's the longest shot at 25 to 1. Even. Like even Kraft would get 18 to.

[Bill Simmons]

1 if that happened. Oh, our special guest is here for Parent Corner. Oh, he is Jimmy Kimmel. Hey, Jimmy. I know. I was going to tell you to log in, but it worked. And we're live on Netflix, so we can't even edit this.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Hey, you know, I've been saying to Ted Sarandos, I said, would you please bring public access television to the platform?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, wow.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And here we are. It's even worse in public access. You'd go to a place. You'd go to a studio.

[Bill Simmons]

We're in 4K, baby. 4K public access. Wait, Sal was just going through the props and there's a Super Bowl. Is it the mvp?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. So who the mvp? Thanks. First Jimmy.

[Bill Simmons]

So on the podium and you could go teammates. You can go God. You can go coach, you can go family and friends.

[Cousin Sal]

Friends.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Whatever you think the MVP is going to be. Just to start with.

[Bill Simmons]

The easiest is to either quarterback. Both of them, we think would go teammates first.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, you think so?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

God is the big favorite at minus 290.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, God's always the big favorite, isn't he? He kind of has some control over this, too. I would. I guess I would go with God. I'd have to go with God.

[Bill Simmons]

Go with God.

[Cousin Sal]

Go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

Go throw God in a parlay. Can God. Can we put God in the same gay parlay?

[Cousin Sal]

By the way, I love God. Yeah. Bowen Yang is 35 to 1. I don't know why anyone to be thanked. Yeah, I don't know why anyone would thank him, but he is.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Here's one for you.

[Bill Simmons]

What?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

What? You know, what are the numbers as far as will Aaron Rodgers apologizing? Apologize for suggesting that I was in the Epstein files.

[Bill Simmons]

It's probably like 10 to 1. He has to apologize there. We're still waiting on that one.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, no, I'm waiting for that. And his wife.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Can I listen, I don't want to put a pin in it, Jimmy, but there are still a million documents out there, so you are.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. We're in the clear.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, maybe I'm in clear yet.

[Bill Simmons]

What was the other. So we had. How many times will they show Cardi B was another prop? Because she's going to be there on behalf of Stefan Diggs.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And the over under is one and a half. I went way over. I think they show her at least four times.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, it's got to be over one and a half. It's got to be two, right?

[Bill Simmons]

It's gotta be at least two. At least once a half.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And they don't count if she performs, do they? Is that part of the.

[Cousin Sal]

It's during the. Oh, man. I have to.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's interesting. That would be a. That would be. Yeah, I don't. They. I think that should count.

[Cousin Sal]

I think it's on the broadcast. I think it is. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That counts if she's a cameo.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

How do they keep this stuff so quiet? As far as. Who's gonna. I mean, there have to be a thousand people in that stadium rehearsing. Like, how did they keep this quiet?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that's why the couple of the years when our friend Louis K. Was working.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And he was feeding us illegally stuff that we could gamble on and got very upset that we talked about it on the podcast. He didn't like it. We told him not to, that we wouldn't do that again, but I guess I just accidentally.

[Cousin Sal]

He's usually so rah rah about these things, like. Yeah, go ahead, go with that.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Is he repping Bad Bunny now, too?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that's what we wanted him to try to sign Charlie Puth before Sunday to see, because then we would find out the national anthem is 119.5 seconds. That's right.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Doesn't our friend Daniel know Charlie Puth?

[Cousin Sal]

I said that. I know.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Can we get word to.

[Bill Simmons]

He does know.

[Cousin Sal]

He knows everybody.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he knows Sal. The only bet before we do a special mega edition of Parent Corner. The only bet you didn't do was the Gary Russell Memorial prop.

[Cousin Sal]

Let's do it.

[Bill Simmons]

So we. Can we do that with Jimmy? Jimmy, you know the story.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Did.

[Bill Simmons]

We did this.

[Cousin Sal]

Can I set it up? I'll set it up.

[Bill Simmons]

Set it up. You do it.

[Cousin Sal]

All right. So Gary Russell. So every year I come on this podcast the week before the super bowl and try to pick an obscure player to do something positive. Right? So it's usually like a backup tight end to catch a pass for a half a yard. And I've won with some. No names like Henry Hanowski and Fozzie Whitaker. I usually lose, but the first year we did this, actually, Jimmy, we watched the super bowl at your house. It was Pittsburgh versus Arizona, and it was 17 years ago tonight. It was February 1st, 2009. Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

What an anniversary. Haven't seen it in newspapers or anything. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Happy anniversary, Gary Russell. So I had Gary Russell to not score a touchdown, minus 140. He was a backup running back. Steelers running back to fast Willie Parker. His first carry inside the two, he lost four yards. I'm like, they can't go back to him. Well, they did. I was like, give it to fast Willie. No, they gave it a Gary Russell touchdown.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

And as legend has it, not legend.

[Bill Simmons]

It was an actual long email that we got that I got from a man.

[Cousin Sal]

He says he. He and a woman were at a Super bowl party. They didn't know each other. They noticed that the other was laughing after the Gary Russell touchdown. And they got to talking and there were fans of the podcast. I'm like, oh, is it because it's Al? But yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, they hook up. They end up getting married because of this Prop. So happy 17th anniversary. Or more likely, sorry about the divorce. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that how it goes with this? Yeah. It's either a happy memory or a terrible memory for them, but it's one or the other.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's led to a marriage.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I'm trying to imagine a woman sitting through this show and listening to +165, +238. It's not adding up to me. I don't know what's going on there, but happy anniversary.

[Bill Simmons]

Taking shots at us.

[Cousin Sal]

They love a couple of women that listen to that. We have Obama listening to this and yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Coming up, Barry O's listen to us. That's true.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Did I tell that story last time?

[Bill Simmons]

You did. You told the story. Yeah. He's probably not listening anymore.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I'm excited about that. Than either one of you. I don't know. It really was like I couldn't wait.

[Cousin Sal]

To get out of what we have. Like, listening.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, probably.

[Bill Simmons]

So, Sal, what do you have? What do you have for this year?

[Cousin Sal]

Let me just say it's been tougher and tougher to come up with these because we know all the backups, we know some of the third strings, but I think I came across a doozy which is really going to turn some heads here. Here we go. Drum roll, please, Cahal, for my Gary Russell annual prop pick of the year. Here we go. Brady Russell, Seahawks fullback, to score a touchdown at 40 to 1 odds. Now you might say, is he really?

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't know who that was.

[Cousin Sal]

He is not related to Gary Russell. He's wider than a sheet and he has long hair. But just the fact that his name is Brady Russell, perhaps 1 and 2 in Boston, sports legends and the Patriots didn't sign this guy out of the University of Colorado. This is payback for Brady Russell. How did the Patriots not sign a guy?

[Bill Simmons]

He should be on the team.

[Cousin Sal]

It's like Seattle having a guy named Marshawn Griffey Jr.

[Bill Simmons]

Or New England having it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yes, that's right.

[Bill Simmons]

Plus, his last name is Russell. Tying back to the 17th anniversary of our right.

[Cousin Sal]

No relationship.

[Bill Simmons]

Brady Russell.

[Cousin Sal]

So I think Clint Kubiak now the Raiders coach, or in eight days, whatever, switched him from tight end to fullback. Couple issues. He only has one target this year, and his hand is kind of injured, I think, from the one target, but I think he gets a handoff at the goal line. You don't want to go through any of that nonsense again like Pete Carroll did with the what right? This guy gets the handoff. Brady Russell touchdown lives in infamy. 40 to 1 odds. Go get it. Put it in on Fanduel right now.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Fanduel should promote this as a special bet. See, you'll have Seahawks to win with Brady Russell, and that would be like, I don't know, 60 to 1 or something.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I'd be curious to see what happens to the numbers now that you've mentioned it. I mean, you got to get that bid in fast right now, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Did Sal just change the Brady Russell market?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, he did. Fanduel is loving making that bet.

[Bill Simmons]

That's great.

[Cousin Sal]

It's all free money. There you go. Brady Russell.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Do it.

[Bill Simmons]

We brought you on for Parent Corner. You came on at the start of the football season, and your son, your son Billy, quite a character, is still in his apex mountain. For Parent Corner, this is the sweet spot. When the kids are really. The little boys between 8 and 10, I think are. I think that's the funniest stage. Yeah, some people might say 6 to 10, but the second half of their first decade is when the comedy really comes on. So we haven't seen you in a couple months. You're gonna tell us some Billy stories.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Well, he's still very focused on his penis. You know, he's still all about the penis. And we showed the kids Happy Gilmore, which they'd never seen before. Yeah, it's one of those things like, should we show this to them? I was like, you know what? I'M showing. And now, you know that montage where Happy Gilmore's got the gas pump between his legs? Everything's a penis, you know? Yeah, Billy does that now all the time. Is anything cylindrical is a penis? You know, chopsticks, pool noodles, noodles, broomsticks, whatever. Hot dogs, carrots. He's got them all sticking out of his pants. And he walks around. He's really a lot like Sal. I mean, like, sometimes I just say to Molly, like, what? What happened? Tell me the truth. Did something happen with Sal? Because he's much more like Sal as a child than he was like me. And Sal is an inexplicable child. Like, I could never, ever. Simmons, you don't even. Whatever you've seen from sal, multiply it by 40 to 1 by Brady Russell. And that's what Sal was like when he was a kid. But Billy's got this super weird thing, and this is. It was a very Sal type of thing. Like, he'll walk in the room and his penis is out. Like, he's got to either, like, kind of up over the elastic of his pants or just flat out. And we'll see him. We'll go, all right, all right, all right. Put your penis away. And he's like, what do you mean? And I was like, just come on. Put your penis. Put your penis away. He's like, my penis isn't out. And. All right, that's funny. Put your penis away. He will keep it up until he is crying. He'll be like, why are you saying this? My penis isn't out.

[Bill Simmons]

It's just.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

His penis is out.

[Bill Simmons]

It's just there. Penis theater.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So he's praying at night. He's weirdly religious. Like, I find on my YouTube subscription all these Jesus, like, channels.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, wow.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

What's.

[Bill Simmons]

Really.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He's.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you tell him about the super bowl prop for minus 290 for God. You got to get him in.

[Cousin Sal]

Who does Billy think first?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, he says, and I've written some of these things down so I can remember. This says, thank you, God, for my squiggly wiggly and my two big ones. That's his balls. He has nicknames for it. He says he names his penis. It changes every three days. Right now it's Jiggly Birkenstock. Jake is his penis name.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, it.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

We bought him a wetsuit so we could go in the ocean in the wintertime. And he just immediately peed in it. Like, immediately before he even got in the ocean, he folded his penis up, like, you know, kind of Tuck fold type of situation. And he walks in the room and, you know, we're in there, my daughter's in there. He goes, jane, you have a little sister. He also would really like James out.

[Bill Simmons]

South of the lamps.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He really wants Molly to touch his penis. He want. I mean, he's just constantly going to bite it, touch it, mom, squish my pickle. And Molly doesn't, you know, she doesn't go for any of this stuff and blames me for all that.

[Cousin Sal]

That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Game of Thrones. It might work. That's about it.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He also will squeeze Molly's butt. And he does it to us, too, but Molly the most. It's like a stress ball for him or something. And like, before he leaves for school, he'll double back and he'll squeeze her with. With both hands. And he says, I gotta save that up for the whole day. So now. And I don't know if I told you guys about this, but he's. He walked. We were in a hotel and he walked in on us. It's pitch black, it's late at night. And just in as we're about to make.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, wow, so glad that's still happening.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, well, we weren't sure that we didn't know what he saw because it hadn't happened yet, you know, but.

[Bill Simmons]

We.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Weren'T sure what he saw. And we were hoping that he wouldn't remember in the morning, like he was kind of sleepwalking or whatever because we end up, like, walking him back to his bed. Molly walked him back to his bed. I had to, like, flip the other way. But he didn't remember in the morning, and we were relieved that he didn't remember. But then three days later, we're sitting at breakfast and he goes, his sister again. He goes, oh, Jane, I forgot to tell you something. And Molly and I immediately knew what he was gonna tell her. And he starts telling her and we start like. It's like, what?

[Cousin Sal]

What?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And Jane's, like, angry at us and mortified and immediately knows something is going on. And now he brings it up just like out of the blue once every, like. Like 11 or 12 days. He bring. He just brings it up and he goes, and I know what you did. He'll say when we. We told him we were hugging, what you did. And he doesn't believe.

[Cousin Sal]

He.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, yeah. He's like. He doesn't believe it at all. And neither one of them believes us now. And he'll threaten to bring it up around other people. He's like, well, if you do that, I'm gonna tell. You know, like, I'm gonna tell Grandma what you were like, don't. You're not talking about up on this. And then the other night, he's got this stuffed animal, and he's, like, kind of like he's laying down, and he's got the stuffed animal, like, on top of him, and he's just kind of like, bouncing the animal up and down. And he says, this is what you did to dad tomorrow. He's terrorizing us with this.

[Bill Simmons]

This is unbelievable. When. When we came to your first show, when you returned, and Billy was there wreaking havoc for five minutes. And I looked over at Sal, and I've never seen Sal happier and more job.

[Cousin Sal]

It's the greatest.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, he watched a trained assassin take assassin warfare to another level. He was so delighted. He.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I had to explain to him, like, when you come to my work, that is not. It's not so you can scare people. Because he likes to do is just like, hide in the closet, just jump out and scare people. Everyone at work and, you know, no one's used to this. And then no one could say anything because it's right. So it makes it extra horrible, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah, they just had.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He was outside. He was outside. Just outside the house. Like, right outside the house. And he's playing with Jane, and he says, I have to poop. And Jane said, poop in the bush. And next thing you know, pooping in the bush.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my Lord.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That was when our housekeeper decided to come up the stairs.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, no.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He's very particular about what he wears. We will lay out clothes for him every night so we can get going in the morning. And every morning, he chooses an entirely different outfit. He dresses like a cat burglar. He's in all black. He's got a hoodie on. He's like the burglar in the security company commercials, you know, that's what he looks like. He looks like. He dresses like he's part of one of those roving gang, Chilean gangs who break into celebrities homes.

[Cousin Sal]

Jesus.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He's got all black on, and then he's got a gold chain, you know, and he loves NBA stuff, You know, it's all LeBron and, you know, whatever. He loves all. He likes Messi, too, even though we've never watched a moment of soccer on television. But he likes the merchandising part of it, okay? And sometimes at night, we hear him talking, and he's talking to Alexa. He's got a little. One of Those Alexa devices right next to his, his bedside. And he asks Alexa, these are real questions that he has asked Alexa. First of all, he asks her about the weather, like more than an 85 year old man, just seven times a day.

[Bill Simmons]

That sounds like your dad. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He asked Alexa, he said, alexa, if it was negative zero outside and I was naked, how long could I survive? There's a lot of questions about natural disasters, about tornadoes, if they ever come to California. When is an earthquake coming? Can I ask Alexa, Alexa, how big is your butt? You know, that kind of stuff. And then Alexa, it is funny listening Alexa answer these questions.

[Bill Simmons]

Does Alexa upgrade him or get mad or does she try to answer?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

She says, I wish I could answer a question like that. But you know, he gets in the whole routine. And he's crazy about the iPad. They both are nuts. Like, kids don't need any more toys. There are no other toys necessary. Like it's just all in the iPad, you know, it's so true.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't need Legos, any of that stuff anymore. That era's gone.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Molly's mother fainted and had to go to the hospital. And Molly was like, it was going to leave. She was going to go to the hospital and the kids were upset and Billy was upset and he said, do you think to help take our minds off it, we could have iPad time.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh my God, he's so smart.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So, Sal, I don't know if I told you this, but on New Year's Eve we were, we were planning to go to Sal's house. Sal usually has a party at the house, but like everyone else out of town, and Sal wasn't planning to have a party. We just assumed there was going to be one. So then Sal was like, yeah, you guys could come over. It's like, you know, all right, we'll stay at home. So we, we're at home and we decide that we're going to watch Happy Gilmore 2, the four of us, you know, in bed, New Year's Eve. And we are, you know, this was a bad year, 20, 25. We are anxious to see it go. And I don't know what I had, why. I had it in my head that once it was over, then we'd have a good year or something.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

But we're ready for it to be done. And I swear to God, this is exactly as it happened. We watched the movie, we watched the nine o' Clock Ball in New York. You know, we watch the ball come down, we're up a little while Billy goes in the bathroom, we're in bed, and then Billy comes back into the room and he goes, there are worms in my poop. And I say, what? He's like, there are worms in my poop. You know, I don't know if he's joking or whatever. And I go in the bathroom and I look in the toilet and sure enough, there are a whole bunch of white little worms. Pin worms in which I guess is a common thing. But none of my kids ever had this before. And that's how we rang in the new. That's how we ended 2025.

[Bill Simmons]

See, I would count that toward 2025.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It is part of 2025.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think that's thrown in the 2025 pile.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

We made the mistake of thinking we were in the clear by 10pm but it turned out we weren't.

[Bill Simmons]

So, yeah, you can really count 1201 as the official new start. So, worms. How did you fix that? Was there like.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Well, you get like this medication. You have to drink this banana flavored poison and everyone in the house has to drink it and you got to change all the sheets. And so I was. I don't know how I got this job, but every night for the next week, I practically boiled the sheets on the sanitary setting on the thing and then had to change all three beds every night.

[Bill Simmons]

You should have lied to him and said he got the worms because he pooped in the bush.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, interesting. It was.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

There was too much time between. And you know what? You really. I wasn't thinking on my feet at the time. I was just like. I really just wanted to scream, like, what the hell? What is happening?

[Bill Simmons]

Terrible. I remember our kids got lice, and that seemed horrible, but the worms and the poop is like 20 times worse.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

We've had lights, too.

[Cousin Sal]

Now I feel bad. If I hadn't had a New Year's party, we would have had the worms in my toilet.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. And you would be washing your sheets.

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So we took the kids to their first Kings game, the hockey game, and they didn't really want to go. They didn't know what it was or, you know, they weren't interested. But I knew they would like it. And we had tickets. We had good tickets. They were right on the glass. And my daughter said, I don't want to see the players fight. You know, she really don't want to see any fighting. And of course, by the second period, the players were fighting and she's screaming, punch him in the face. Punch him in the face.

[Bill Simmons]

You get intoxicated Immediately.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, immediately. And then they put me on the jumbotron and Billy was sitting next to me. And so Billy. Now this is. I don't know if you guys know about this, but little boys are. They instantly. I mean, like Billy, like, you can't get him to talk to an adult, you know, like, other than family members, you know, he barely. He's shy. You know, he won't. He's crazy when he's not around adults, but, like, he's. He's pretty shy in public, but, man, when he was. That camera went on him and he was up on the jumbotron. He turned into Cardi B and Bad Bunny and Bruno Mars and Dancing Barry all combined. I mean, he's twerking, he's going crazy. He's doing the whole thing. The audience starts getting excited.

[Bill Simmons]

There's something about that Jumbotron because the NBA league passed this year. When they go to commercial, they don't show ads. They just show the people in the. In the stadium of the jumbotron. And they all do it when they're on camera. They like. It's like they lose their minds to.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Be an adult to do it. But when you. I mean, these kids come out of the womb knowing that when you're on the Jumbotron, it's seven and up, you.

[Bill Simmons]

Just have to start acting crazy.

[Cousin Sal]

How worried are you at that point that he's gonna pull out his penis on the Jumbotron?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

A little bit, but also hoping it happens. You know, it's. I'm right in the. I'm sitting right in the middle, you.

[Cousin Sal]

Know, taking more games.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Jane was mad, though. Jane said, I'm sick of him getting all the perks. And then Molly said to Jane, she said one of the Kings players was cute. And Jane said, I'm not into adult men being cute, but you go wild.

[Bill Simmons]

So she's in that stage now.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

She's in that stage. Fantastic.

[Bill Simmons]

I remember that one.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Sal, I teased this for you this afternoon.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Sal and I went to the. We should have tricked your father into going to that anti ice march today. Told him it was like a Dodgers parade or something like that. Because that would have been great. He would have been very unhappy.

[Bill Simmons]

They're having a second Dodgers parade.

[Cousin Sal]

Whatever the. Whatever Billy's reaction was on the Jumbotron. That would have been the very, very opposite for my father.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah. I wonder how long it would have taken him to figure it out. So, Jane, this is a question that Jane asked Molly, and Molly wrote it down. Jane said, and this Is a very. I don't know what's going on if they're giving her gummies at school. But she said, mom, have you ever thought that maybe everyone is a robot? We're all robots except for three people. And Molly said, what three people? And Jane said, Jackie Boo, which is our one year old nephew, Uncle Sal and Aunt Chippy, obviously. Obviously. And Molly said, why are those three the only ones that aren't robots? And Jane said, because Jackie Boo is just a butterball and he's too round and cute and no way any robot gambles as much as Sal and Aunt Chippy. It would explode a robot. All that smoke from Aunt Chippy would kill a robot. Unbelievable.

[Cousin Sal]

I love it. I love it.

[Bill Simmons]

She calls you uncle.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

How she even knows this?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, we're all uncle and aunts. All the. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, interesting.

[Cousin Sal]

I know. It could be cousin. I know. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You know, this segment is limited, I think because, you know, your kids are getting older, like bills. Your kids are adults. And Sal, you know, we've had a lot of trouble.

[Cousin Sal]

We struggles. Yeah. 12 year old still. Yeah. Bill that's carrying us parents and dogs is Simmons go to now. I mean, I don't blame.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

This segment is more endangered than late night television. But I will leave you on my parents who drove me completely insane today. Oh, no.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, nice. My mother every other day.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I mean, just like, it's just like, listen, we marched in a line. We went from one end one pier to the next pier and back. There was no chance of anyone getting lost. But they're just the phone call, where are you? What? What street? You know, it's like just keep walking in the line. Right? And then forgetting where my house is, you know, and it's like, just come to the house. I went to 35th Street. I'm like, there isn't a 35th Street. There's no way you went to 35th. And then I can't leave it alone, you know, but the fight they had today, they had a really loud fight at the house and the fight was about. So they went to a music recital for one of the children in our family. And apparently J. Lo's kid goes to this school and JLo's kid was in the recital and they were telling us how good the kid was. Just kid was really good. Right? And then they were talking about the fact they were interested in the fact that JLO has like a big SUV that picks her up. This to them, this seems unusual. Right, Right. And then they had a yelling fight about whether JLo's car had a loud engine. Or as my father said, the car behind that car had a loud engine. Right. And you were yelling at each other. No, it was her car. No, it was. No, it was a car. It was a race car behind her that. No, it was her car. You know, and they're fighting. Fighting. Molly finally stopped him. She goes, guys, I hate when you fight about JLo's car.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no, you're only robots anyway. Leave it alone.

[Bill Simmons]

You're not real.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow. That's great.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

You want to do a quick one? Incredible. That was, like, seven parent corners.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I can't top that.

[Bill Simmons]

That's good. You don't have a.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

There wasn't sports at the super bowl, you know?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I have to tell a quick story about my dad.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Okay, good.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, massive blizzard of Boston. Massive, like, shut down. You're not gonna be able to get food anywhere. Like, whatever you have, you gotta stockpile. And my stepmother was out of town, so everyone snowed in for, like, two days. And my daughter is in college in Boston, so she goes to see my dad, like, a day or so after the blizzard, opens his fridge, and he has six venti iced coffees in there. And then all this food from this place, Abe and Louis. And so she's like, why do you have. I don't understand. Why do you have six coffees? And he claimed he tried to offer order one coffee and didn't think it went through and did it six times. And they brought him a whole bunch of coffees. We're not buying that. We think he stockpiled coffee because he didn't want to go get coffee every day and bought these six coffees with six muffins, but then had this Abe and Louie's food, which he bought, like, two steaks, and he bought, like, five children's pastas to survive him for the four days. So my daughter's in there, like, what are all these? And he's like, oh, those. I like their pasta, but they don't have adult pasta. They have kids pasta. So my dad was basically, like, the guy in Lost who was the guy? Desmond, who's in the bottom, like, has to survive for three months. I think that's what he thought the blizzard was gonna be. And he was gonna survive on venti coffee, leftover steak, and kid's pasta for as long as it took.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I would argue that what he claims he did is worse than what you think he actually did. I mean, accidentally ordering the same thing six times in a row. That's a lot of times did it go through?

[Bill Simmons]

Did through.

[Cousin Sal]

Saving Louie, save life.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That would mean six different delivery guys, because you know how that works. That would mean he got six deliveries from six different people.

[Bill Simmons]

My daughter was like, she was trying to take a picture and he was stopping her. She thought it was just so funny, these six iced coffees next to each other. Like, what is the expiration date on a nice coffee, too? Like, does the caffeine. Does it. Kind of depends on, I don't know.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Depends on the milk.

[Cousin Sal]

Three storms.

[Bill Simmons]

Anyway. Thank God it's still freezing cold there. But I think he has two iced coffees left and one kid's pasta.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I like it 12 degrees and he's drinking iced coffee.

[Cousin Sal]

You can't fight it.

[Bill Simmons]

Anything to plug Kimmel. It's February. Sweeps month. Do we still have sweeps?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Nope. No, there's no sweeps. No, we have.

[Bill Simmons]

No, Literally don't have sweeps.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I don't think so. If so, nobody ever mentions them. We have Don Lemon on tomorrow, though. You know, he got arrested over the weekend.

[Cousin Sal]

Really?

[Bill Simmons]

So, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he just got arrested again.

[Bill Simmons]

There.

[Cousin Sal]

You. You didn't see. I don't know.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, he did.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. I'll be out before the show, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. Thanks for joining.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He gets arrested. He'll be on the show tomorrow.

[Bill Simmons]

Where are you guys watching the Super Bowl.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You know, I.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you gonna be together?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I, I, I'm. I'm happy to, but I, I, I don't. I'm not looking forward to doing, like, a giant super bowl thing. I wanted.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't blame you. Well, the last time the Patriots and Seahawks played, we were at your house.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, that's right. Well, if you feel.

[Bill Simmons]

Butler game. No, I'm going to be by myself. I don't want to be with anybody.

[Cousin Sal]

I feel like, where could I go? We go live, like, 20 minutes after the game. I can't.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, true. We're going live right after. Access Netflix here.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I live one eighth of a mile from you.

[Cousin Sal]

I know, but you're not having a New Year's party or however that works. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I have. You got worms in the toilet?

[Cousin Sal]

I don't want to be there.

[Bill Simmons]

You just want to go to your house.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Listen, you're welcome, because I know my son Kevin's coming over, and you're welcome to come over, but I'm not going to do a huge party, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

All right, you guys figure it out.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And if you feel that it.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm not going anywhere. I'm going nowhere.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

All right. Well, you were at my house the last time, right.

[Bill Simmons]

I've had good luck when you've been in the room with me for a Super Bowl.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But yeah, I'm not going to push it this time.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Well, hey, listen to and whatever reason.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. Thanks to cousin Jimmy, thanks to Sal, thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well, and Jack Wilson. That's it for us on Netflix. We are going to be back on Netflix after the super bowl podium next week. I hope I have a smile on my face. I'll have my podcast plus rewatchables tomorrow. We did wild things.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, that. I saw you talking about that. That's. Yeah, that's gonna be.

[Bill Simmons]

That was good night. Might be the last three watchables. We might have pushed it too far. But that's coming tomorrow too. That is on Netflix as well. Fellas, thanks for doing this. Thanks to everybody for watching. See you next week. Must be 21 plus on President select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 on President D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gamble problem. Call 100 Gamble or visit rg-help.com call 888-797-7777 or visit ccpg.org Chattinconenetic Cat or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8-Hopeny or text Hopeny in New York. For Louisiana, call 877-770-7867.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, the holidays have come and gone once again. But if you've forgotten to get that.

[Bill Simmons]

Special someone in your life a gift, well, Mint Mobile, Mint Mobile is extending.

[Cousin Sal]

Their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless.

[Bill Simmons]

So here's the idea.

[Cousin Sal]

You get it now, you call it an early present for next year.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have to lose? Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time, 50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 month or $180 for 12 month. Plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is bus.