Guess the Lines Week 1, Micah Parsons Trade Damage, and an NFL Futures Draft With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode: Guess the Lines Week 1, Micah Parsons Trade Damage, and an NFL Futures Draft With Cousin Sal
Date: August 31, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons
Guests: Cousin Sal

Episode Overview

The NFL season is back, and Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal kick off their 19th (yes, 19th!) season of "Guess the Lines" with a packed episode. This week’s show zeroes in on three major topics:

• The fallout from the blockbuster Micah Parsons trade—why Dallas did it, how the timing was "Jerry Jones special," and how it torpedoes the Cowboys' 2025 outlook;
• A robust, spirited Guess the Lines segment for NFL Week 1, as the duo navigates a slate packed with divisional intrigue and plenty of betting angles;
• The second annual Futures Draft, where Bill and Sal alternate picking creative, often longshot NFL futures bets with some classic Fogo-de-Chão "until someone taps out" energy.

The show’s tone is Bill-and-Sal at maximum: part rant, part therapy, casual but full of inside references and sharp analysis, with the kind of comedic pessimism Cowboys fans know all too well.

---

Main Topics and Key Discussion Points

1. Kickoff & NFL Return Excitement

[05:00]

• Bill and Sal celebrate their 19th year guessing NFL lines.
• Bill recalls: "Back in the Jimmy Kimmel Live days… I remember writing at one point, you know, this would be a great talk show segment someday. Not realizing podcasts were coming."
  [04:25]

2. The Micah Parsons Trade Fallout

[05:31] – [18:53]

• Jerry Jones trades Cowboys star Micah Parsons to the Packers for two late first-round picks and DT Kenny Clark.

• Sal is crushed:
  "I do appreciate you holding off on the snark and texting me, because that oftentimes is the worst part of this." [05:58]

• The timing and value of the trade is savaged:

  • Sal: "They could have gotten more in March, more in June, more in October. He either waited too long or didn’t wait long enough." [06:42]

• They debate whether Dallas should’ve played “chicken” with Parsons and waited.

• Bill on parallels to other “we have to do THIS NOW” trades:

  • "This really reminded me of the Mookie Betts trade. … They made a fucking terrible trade. They got Verdugo and Wong and Jeter Downs. They got 11 cents on the dollar." [11:10]

• No argument exists in football media for why the Cowboys’ return makes sense.

  • Bill: "There was nobody zagging. When everybody who follows football is like, that’s the dumbest trade I’ve ever seen—it’s probably not a good trade." [12:15]

• Dallas spent newfound cap on extending corner Bland (“probably not even a top-20 cornerback,” Bill moans) [07:49]

• How the trade upends Dallas’ extensions for Dak and CeeDee Lamb; undermines any near-term plan.

• Trading a blue-chip defender in his prime—teams almost never do this, and when they do it foreshadows a lost half-decade.

• Fun debate: It’s NOT the Luka Doncic trade (because QB is truly irreplaceable, Parsons is just elite at a non-QB spot). [19:14]

  “Listen, we’re both old enough to know with these trades—there's going to be no scenario where this is a good trade.”
  —Bill [16:42]

Memorable Moments

• Bill: “This was not a curveball. This was a slider in the dirt. And you can’t recover from losing a guy this good.” [13:45]
• Sal: “The only case would be a possible Ewing Theory situation, which I don’t think you’re very excited about.” [05:58]
• Sal’s deadpan: “I made a list of 12 reasons why this trade sucked, and I’m not going to bore people with them...” [06:36]

Timestamps

• [05:31] Sal’s initial sadness and analogy-laced despair
• [06:42] Why the timing was so bad
• [11:10] Mookie Betts trade comparison
• [12:15] No one defending Dallas
• [16:42] “No scenario where this is a good trade”

3. NFL Week 1 “Guess the Lines”

[25:42] – [61:00]

• They break down NFL Week 1’s juiciest games, bouncing analysis and betting angles for each matchup.
• Both pick their top TV “quad-box” games for Sunday viewing, arguing the lineups and which matchups matter most for fantasy, narratives, and betting.

Highlights:

• Bill on Thursday Night Eagles-Cowboys, post-Parsons: “I’d rather slip my throat with a razor blade than do that... you know that’s gonna be three hours of it.” [15:51]
• Which games make the “quad-screen”? Arguments about Giants–Washington, Carolina–Jacksonville, and more.
• Bets and trends: Week 1 division home underdogs since 2010: 23–7 against the spread. [30:14]
• Lines that seem "off": Chiefs–Chargers in Brazil, Packers–Lions, 49ers–Seahawks
• Talking through the betting psyche—who scares them, who’s a “must fade,” and the real “must win” week one games (with tongue-in-cheek fake debate).
• Bill’s “get up guy” routine—parody of sports talking head clichés. [37:33]
• The new “two and a half” point spread—“the new one and a half.” [42:27]

Notable Quotes

• “This is the perfect spot. My question for this is, if the Cardinals are really good, and we don’t know that yet—but in week eight, we will know… We always look back at these Week 1 lines like, wow, the Cardinals were only -5.5, that would be like -13 now.”
  —Bill [57:01]
• On Steelers–Jets: “If you bet on this game, you’re just desperate to bet on shit. Don’t tease this game, don’t parlay it. Just play it straight up if you’re going to do it.” [46:29]

Timestamps

• [25:42] Opening the lines
• [29:01] Why the Philly–Dallas line didn’t move more after Parsons
• [30:14] Divisional underdog trend
• [38:14] The Watchables, Bills–Ravens, “quad box” musts

4. Parent Corner

[64:47] – [72:50]

• Classic “Parent Corner” is back, with the duo now (hilariously) shifting the scope to older parents and “custody” of longtime family friends.
• Sal regales with stories about “Brad,” the adopted friend who, over Labor Day, devours ribs, shames the kids out of ever posting on YouTube, and dispenses true-crime advice:
  • “If you ever choose to commit murder, do not leave your trophies in the trunk of your car, because that’s the first place the cops are going to check.” [67:06]
• Bill brainstorms an app called “Shazamma”:
  “There should be a Shazam for moms... she starts describing what the show is, and then I can just put it in the app and it spits out the answer.” [71:22]

5. NFL Futures Draft

[77:24] – [108:57]

• The second annual Ringer NFL Futures Draft: Bill and Sal alternate “snake style” picking futures bets, from mainstream to wild longshots, with the only rule being “Fogo de Chão style: we go until someone taps out.”
• Categories include MVP, playoff seed order, specific stat milestones, division finishes, and bizarre-but-fun prop options (Coach/Assistant of the Year, “TD Triple Crown,” etc.)

Notable Bets & Reasoning:

• Bill: “Philly, KC, and Baltimore all to make the playoffs, minus 110. We’ve done this for years—who loses that?” [78:04]
• Sal: Jordan Love for MVP, Offensive Player of the Year Chase, Aidan Hutchinson sacks, Cam Scadaboo “TD Triple Crown.”
• Both: Multiple “against the grain” bets—fading the Dolphins, Saints, and Browns, bullish on Packers, Broncos, Bucs.

Great Quotes

• “I’m surprised you didn’t take it… New Orleans or Cleveland under 3.5 wins. Minus 130. Just one of them has to suck, basically, and I think both of them might suck.”
  —Bill [80:41]

Fun Moment

• “Fogo to Chão rules—which means we just keep doing props back and forth until somebody quits, someone throws up…”
  —Bill [81:59]

6. Closing / Goodbyes

[108:57+]

• Plugs for The Ringer Gambling Show, The Rewatchables, Survivor pools, and a heartfelt (and comedic) tribute to their old writer friend Tony.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "I made a list of 12 reasons this trade sucked, and I'm not going to bore people with them..."
  –Sal [06:36]
• "This was not a curveball. This was a slider in the dirt. And you can't recover from losing a guy this good."
  –Bill [13:45]
• "There was nobody zagging. When everybody who follows football... is like, that's the dumbest trade I've ever seen—it's probably not a good trade."
  –Bill [12:15]
• "If you ever choose to commit murder, do not leave your trophies in the trunk of your car, because that's the first place the cops are going to check."
  –Brad (via Sal) [67:06]
• "There should be a Shazam for moms ... she starts describing what the show is, and then I can just put it in the app and it spits out the answer."
  –Bill [71:22]
• "Fogo de Chão rules—which means we just keep doing props back and forth until somebody quits, someone throws up..."
  –Bill [81:59]

---

Important Timestamps for Reference

• [05:31–18:53] Micah Parsons trade analysis, rants, and pain
• [25:42] Start of “Guess the Lines” for Week 1
• [64:47] Parent Corner: Sal's "custody" of Brad, Bill's "Shazamma"
• [77:24] Futures Draft begins—parlays, props, and longshots
• [108:57+] Wrap up, plugs, and heartfelt/funny tributes

---

Summary for First-Timers / Key Takeaways

• The Micah Parsons trade is a franchise-altering, fan-devastating move for Dallas—made at the worst possible time, for underwhelming return. Bill and Sal deliver an articulate, emotional postmortem, with sarcasm, frustration, and inside references about Jerry Jones’ habits.
• “Guess the Lines” for Week 1 brings in both sharp betting trends and the duo’s signature blend of football insight and comedy, flagging sneaky lines and unraveling why some numbers are where they are.
• The Futures Draft—a fast, creative prop battle—is, as always, a highlight for betting fans.
• As football podcasters since before podcasts existed, Bill and Sal’s chemistry and NFL nerdery are at their best, with tangents, Parent Corner, and plenty of side-bets for listeners to track.
• Throughout: Relatable misery for Cowboys fans, a treasure trove of betting opinions, running gags (“must win” parodies, Fogo de Chão rules, “get up guy” routines), and absurd prop bets to monitor for months.

---

If you missed it:

• You’ll understand why Cowboys fans are in mourning about Parsons, what games to care about Week 1, and what loopy futures bets Bill and Sal will be tracking all season long.
• “No scenario where this is a good trade”—but plenty of scenarios for a great NFL season.

---

For betting lines, football therapy, and classic Simmons/Salian riffing, this is as comprehensive and entertaining an NFL kickoff pod as you could ask for.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Your home is more than a space, it's where you express yourself. Like We've all got our game day set up right. I'm all about the viewing experience and the entertaining, so I got my sofa in optimum viewing position and I got my grill and patio set up for halftime or after the game. Whatever your vibe, Wayfair is the trusted destination for all things home. They've got all your home essentials, storage solutions, decor and more all in one place. Get inspired with room ideas and curated collections, all with everyday ways to save. Shop everything [e-mail] with free and easy delivery straight to your door that is W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair every style every home the Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook, your friend for the NFL and college football seasons. When you are watching this podcast or listening to it a week from now on Sunday night, it's going to be me and Cousin Sal doing guest alliance and reacting to week one of the NFL. And if you want to react with us, no better place than FanDuel. We have the Ringer Gambling show going every day now live, noon ET on our Ringer Gambling YouTube channel. A lot of FanDuel stuff on there. We had the Ringer Sunday pregame on Sundays on YouTube with the whole cast of characters and we're doing the Ringer 107 as well, which I can explain to you when Cousin Sal comes up in one second. I watched a lot of college football yesterday. We had two college football podcasts that were responding live on YouTube. The Ringer Tailgate with Joel and Van and Tate came on in the late afternoon games. Then Todd McShay after Clemson and LSU. Little upset in that one. So if you like college football, those are two awesome podcasts and it's a sport that we've struggled to figure out a good plan for over the years and I feel like we have two awesome shows now. So really excited about that. Speaking of awesome shows, the rewatchables Monday night movie 400. We're doing American gangster with Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. It's me, Chris Ryan and Van Lathan. I let CR pick because he hadn't been on the pod for a few weeks and this is what he wanted. We were all excited to do it. So that is coming the 400th movie on Monday and you can find that on The Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well. You can find all of our football stuff. Ringer Fantasy Football show if you want fantasy advice, Ringer NFL show with Shiel has been awesome. We revamped it. It's like basically 30 minute podcasts, one topic and he's been killing it. So if you want to get ready for the season, there's go check that out. And then the ringer.com where we have all of our football, NFL, college gambling stuff, the Bundo's gambling column, everything is going on there as well. So we are ready for the season. Really excited about it. Coming up, cousin Sal and I are going to guess the lines and we have a big NFL futures draft. Can't wait. First a break and then pro champ. It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel and the NFL is back and thank God FanDuel has everything. They got an awesome app, they have SGPs, they have great futures, they have good prop bets, live betting your way bets clean app. It's great to use. Been using it for a few years. Every time I go back to Boston or any place that has Fando and I get to use it, I'm always excited. I'm on an airplane Runway. You done the airplane Runway? Yeah, airplane Runway. There should be a button. The Runway button. I'm on the airplane Runway. I got to get this in. Get your bets in. Build something bold, make every game feel bigger. Download the FanDuel app or head to FanDuel.com BS to get started. The Ringer committed to responsible gaming. Please visit rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available and listen to the end of this episode for additional details. You must be 21 plus in President select states or 18 plus in President DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Game problem. Call 100 Gamble or visit rg-help.com call 1-8878-9777 or visit ccpg.org chatinconnecticut paid end all right, recording this. It is Sunday morning, Pacific Time, Year 19 of Guest Alliance. We are here, cousin Sal. We've been doing this forever. Quick story. Back in the Jimmy come alive days, you're already doing this with one of your friends. But when we worked together NFL season 2002. Yeah, we started doing it in like December. We were sharing an office sitting next to each other and you just would throw the lines at me and I would guess them. And remember writing at one point, you know, this would be a great talk show segment someday. Not realizing podcasts were coming. Podcasts came in 2007. We've been doing it ever since our 19th year. Next year will be year 20, Sal.

[B]

Yeah. I remember saying to you, I was like, all right, this is a great segment. I don't know if it lasts 20 years, but definitely, definitely 19. Definitely good for 19. I also don't remember coming into this a year like this, depressed as I am. But, yeah, we have a job to do. We got a job.

[A]

No, no, let's talk about it, because we haven't. The Michael Parsons trade happened near the end of last week after we had done our big Over Unders podcast, like, less than 24 hours after, and somehow I had miraculously picked the Green Bay packers to make the super bowl, which I feel even better about. We had both gone under on your team, and now it's. The only case would be a possible Ewing theory situation, which I don't think you're very excited about.

[B]

No, I'm not excited about any of it. And it's all terrible. Like, you know, like, I do appreciate you holding off, like, on the snark and texting me, because that oftentimes is the worst part of this, like, which of your friends and which you need to respond to and whatever. But as far as, like, the trade, I don't think it's good. I, you know, I'm used to the other terrible Jerry. At least he was predictable, you know? Yeah. And now it's like, you know, it's like, if my kid gets shitty grades every semester, it's like, all right, what am I going to do about that? But, oh, now he's stealing catalytic converters. Well, time out. All right, now we got to do something here. So I don't know. I made A list of 12 reasons this trade sucked, and I'm not going to bore people with them, but they're all.

[A]

Are you going to give them now?

[B]

No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to go through it because it's.

[A]

You can't do the Cliff Notes.

[B]

I'll tell you, the biggest one is his timing is always the worst. Even if you like what they got right, they could have gotten more in March. They could have gotten more in June. They could have gotten more. Either he waited too long or he didn't wait long enough. Like, if he had waited four weeks, I guarantee Micah Parsons. And we were going to lose probably two or three of those four anyway. I guarantee Micah Parsons getting a hit at a million and a quarter a game would have been like, all right, Jerry, we'll take your offer, whatever, you know? So, I don't know. It's just, I, I, I. Too late. First rounders. If you look from 26 to 32, this is another one. That's where the packers pick is going to be like. It's depressing. If you look at the last few years, it's like a slew of Cole Strange types. That's it. And I'm not counting on that.

[A]

Shots fired.

[B]

Sorry, sorry. I have to get.

[A]

You.

[B]

You're doing a good job. Yes. No, no. But I'm not counting on them to do a good job packaging. Those picks are doing a good job with the free loot. And yeah, Kenny Clark is fine. I know he was an all pro, but his best years are behind him. He's 30, so I don't even know what else to say about this. Good job, Jerry. You fucked it up again.

[A]

Well, today they gave Bland a huge extension, like 90 million. So it's like, well, now that we don't have to pay Michael Parsons, we have more money to overpay some of the other players in our team. I don't even know if He's a top 20 cornerback.

[B]

Great job, Duran. You didn't hold out. You played that perfectly. Hopefully you could stop the run. Cause that's what's important here.

[A]

Here's. You mentioned the leverage piece. This is the part I had a lot of thoughts. Obviously, we haven't done a podcast since this happened. On this podcast at least. But if you just did, like, if you fed it to AI, if you fed it to Jet, ChatGPT, whatever the F it's called. And you said, when will we have the least leverage in a Micah Parsons trade?

[B]

Right.

[A]

It would. When would it be the least helpful to us and make the least sense? You would say the end of August, where it's like, you've already missed last year's draft. You're already six months away from whatever draft picks you were going to get anyway. And you're probably not getting a player who can help you more than Parsons this year. So worst case scenario, you just roll this over, you play chicken with them all year, he comes back, eventually you have him for this year, and then trade him in March. Because the thing I always talk about with trades is like, is this trade still here six months from now? Like, guess what? The packers are still doing this trade in March. Oh, we have to give up just two mediocre first rounders and a guy in his 30s from Michael Parsons? Yeah, we'll do that in January, we'll do it in February, we'll do it in October. Would he have had more leverage in October? Probably. I It almost just seemed like they didn't want to deal with it anymore. And he's old, and he's like, I'll show him. Yeah, you showed him. You're probably showing him in the Super Bowl. And he got a giant contract, so what was the point of this, right?

[B]

And you know, okay, the one thing I'll say is, oh, the whole team hated him. I don't even know if that's true, but the front office hated him. The players hated him. The podcast really changed them. Podcasts. Remember what happened with the Royals, right? Harry and Meghan, whatever. Everybody loved. They did a podcast. Everybody hate him. Okay, maybe there's something to that.

[A]

But did they do a podcast?

[B]

I don't remember. They did the podcast. We'll have to look at that. They actually did the podcast. But maybe we could check that while we're doing this.

[A]

Definitely. No, Harry didn't do the podcast. No, he got paid to do the podcast.

[B]

That's what happened.

[A]

Yeah, he did the podcast. Anyway. Go ahead.

[B]

No, so. But you're right, like, yes, wait longer. You waited too long, but now wait even longer. And what's the downside?

[A]

All right, maybe he could tear his.

[B]

ACL while holding out playing pickleball or something.

[A]

I.

[B]

That would suck. Then his value.

[A]

The odds are one in a thousand that that's happening.

[B]

And Schefter said at least one team made other team was like, oh, I was interested. We would have. We would have given more for Micah Parsons. And Jerry himself said 15 teams contact them. Like, that's a lie, because then you would have gotten a better offer than what basically, like, Khalil Mack fetched.

[A]

So it seems like it was six teams. Albert Breer, I thought, had a really good kind of. Now they tell us piece about why they did this, and he said six. And I'm wondering, like, maybe other teams offered the two first. But they. They really like Kenny Clark. And somebody that we both know who's. Who's been a big Cowboys kind of watcher over the years was like, the Cowboys get infatuated with guys. That's right.

[B]

They love their players.

[A]

And that's like, when you got. When you signed Mingo, it's like, oh.

[B]

We'Ve always loved Mingo.

[A]

When you traded for Roy Williams.

[B]

Oh, we.

[A]

Our scouts love them. And they probably like Kenny Clark for, like, eight years, and they're, oh, finally our chance to get Kenny Clark. It doesn't mean you do the trade. This really reminded me of the Mookie Betts trade, not to bring a Boston team in this. But when it was clear, like, they weren't going to figure out the contract, they just didn't agree on what his value was. But they also could have kept him for one more year, had him play out his contract year, and then just taken the draft picks for him when he went somewhere else. And instead they were like, nope, got to do this now. And they made a fucking terrible trade. They got Verdugo and Wong and Jeter downs. They got 11 cents on the dollar. I would have.

[B]

And they did it for the year. Kenny Clark, Verduke, I would have taken for sure.

[A]

But we didn't even get two first round picks of that trade. But it reminded me of that where when it happened, everybody, there was no zag. And that was the funniest thing about this Michael Parsons trade. There was no zag. There was nobody. Like, actually, here's why this makes a ton of sense for Dallas. Like when everybody who follows football, covers football, cares about football, is like, that's the dumbest trade I've ever seen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Probably not a good trade. Yeah.

[B]

And they re. They extended other players because of, like, the DAC extension doesn't really make sense now.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, the CD extension doesn't make sense now. If you don't have Micah there like that, you now have to replace one of, if not the best player at that position for the next few years. And the thing. The difference with Mookie Betts is Mookie had one more year.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He was playing out his contract year. Cowboys have Parsons under contract for a year.

[A]

Franchise them.

[B]

Franchise them twice.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So that's why waiting longer. I think we agree this is the way to go.

[A]

Not taking advantage of. I get it. If they're like, it's too much money. We don't think he's worth it. It ruins the seller cap for our team.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

But you still had him under contract for this year. Yeah. You still had a chance to be good this year. You still had a chance to move it to October and have some team that doesn't realize that they were going to be good. And they're good. And they're like, we'll give you two firsts and a second. You know, I just. I thought it was so crazy. And I feel bad for you because I know you love the Cowboys. We went to the stadium together. It's been a long time for you. That Cowboys documentary came out. You came on here about a couple weeks ago and we talked about the glory days and a big.

[B]

I kind of like Jerry a little More after that. I was like, yeah, nice appreciation. But I think he was like, oh, everyone thinks they know me. They think I'm gonna give in at the last second. Uh, so now maybe that was his thing. Like, I'm going to throw a little curveball here just to fuck with people.

[A]

Well, this was not a curveball. This was a slider in the dirt. And you can't recover from losing a guy this good. It certainly took the Red Sox four or five years. I mean, there's. There's eight guys that really, truly matter in the entire league, and you're talking about any position, you know, and the fact that he wasn't like Miles Garrett was available for a split second, but he's what, four years older than Parsons?

[B]

You know, even the stupid Browns knew to sign their best player, right?

[A]

That's the thing is usually when these guys become available, there's. They're still not arrow pointing up toward like the apex of their career. They're usually like, ah, they probably peaked two years ago, but they can still be at near that level for a couple more years. This was like the rarest chance you could ever have of getting somebody that hasn't even maybe been the best version of himself yet, you know, and. And I think then to trade him in the NFC is the other thing that has to drive me nuts. You're like, really? You can't just send them to fucking Denver or Tennessee or somewhere, anywhere. Yeah.

[B]

Jerry, you have history with Green Bay, right? Like, you know, first of all, the Mike McCarthy stuff. All right, there was that weirdness there, the third. Third and 20, obviously with the, with Rogers. Years ago in the playoffs, you had the Des catch, like, stay away from the Packers. They're not in our division, but they're our enemies.

[A]

He's just a mess.

[B]

It's a complete mess.

[A]

We covered this in the NFC over Unders. You did not like this Cowboys team to begin with. From a season standpoint, it was pretty top heavy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now you've lost one of the. One of the number one person who made the team top heavy, and you have these picks coming that you don't even get to use for April. It almost makes more sense to zag now and just kind of tank the season. But I don't think they're going to do that either.

[B]

No, you're right. They'll be somewhere in the middle and it'll suck. And I guess, yeah, theoretically, if I had them at six or seven wins, what does it matter if they have three or four Right now?

[A]

It Doesn't. And you're in a good conference. Like, they. They could conceivably be one of the worst teams. Like you're going to have this Thursday night game that we're going to do and do guess the lines.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where they're playing this awesome stacked Eagles team and all the announcers. It's going to be NBC and it's going to be Collins. Where I just. I. I just can't believe they traded Michael Parsons out. I just. I would rather slip my throat with a razor blade than do that out. Like, you just know that's gonna be three hours of it.

[B]

Yeah. Something's missing with this Cowboys defense. I can't get my finger on it. Is he still with Al? I don't know. Did you make that announcement?

[A]

Is it Mike? Oh, yes.

[B]

Come on, man. Let's get it.

[A]

My first guess, the L's mistake. Mike. Michael Parsons, he just wrecks games. He wrecks them. He wrecks these games. Mike.

[B]

Mike. Why am I calling you Al all year? You gotta. You gotta correct me by week eight.

[A]

Mike. Are you Al? Are you Mike. Just a train wreck. Listen, we're both old enough to know these trades. There's gonna be no scenario where this is a good trade.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

No, none. The packers are going to be one of. Somewhere between first and eighth, I would say, in the league. Right. They're going to have at least 10 wins, probably 11. They might even be really good and be like a 1 seed, which would be hilarious. You play them this year, don't you?

[B]

Yeah. It's week four, you know. Yeah.

[A]

And I could go around there.

[B]

I can't root for them now, so I'll sell some of that. I mean, after we got off with the pot, I bet some packers to win the NFC and love to win mvp. So I'm happy to sell some of that at a huge discount to anyone listening.

[A]

I did that. I did a little more that week. Once I laid out all the research for our podcast. Cause the odds were still really favorable. Buffalo Green Bay, I think, was 45 to 1 as a super bowl matchup.

[B]

Before.

[A]

Before the trade or before the trade?

[B]

Oh, you.

[A]

Yeah. Love was in the 20 to 25 range. But I took all the league stuff seriously. When the packers thing probably came out 72 hours before that, they were really intrigued. And then the day we were taping the podcast, which was last Wednesday, somebody had a report that Dallas was at least listening to calls. And anytime I hear that, it's like the trade's happening. Because once you're Actually, like, oh, what do you got? Now you're just leveraging everyone against each other. If you have somebody like Michael Parsons and I call you and I'm like, hey, I'd love to trade for Michael Parsons. You'd be like, cool. You're hanging out. But the fact that they were listening to calls, you knew it was a rap.

[B]

I know. I just thought a stubborn Jerry wins over everything. You know, it's funny, it's funny, but the. The same fellow we talked about who's been in the front office and knows like, he was on the road, he's like, what did they get for him? I was like. He said. I said. He said, two. Two firsts. I'm like, keep going. He said, wow. All right. 3. I said, no, keep going. 4. I was like, no, go the other way. Go. Go the other way. He's like, go backwards. He's like, you're kidding me. 2. That's terrible.

[A]

Can you guess a 30 year old defensive tackle?

[B]

How about that one? Yes. Yeah, throw that in there. I feel bad going after Kenny Clark. He's a fine player. Good player.

[A]

Yeah. Seems solid. Yeah. Yeah, might be a. Everyone loves him in the locker room. Apparently. I just like the one thing that I got to throw my body in front of was people comparing this to Luka Doncic trade. This was not the Luka Doncic trade.

[B]

No.

[A]

In basketball, you basically need three guys to compete for a title. And one of those three guys, if it's one of the 10 best guys in the league, you always have a chance. Football, really, it's. The quarterback is the only untouchable position. In any other position, you could talk yourself into a scenario where you could win without. There was some stuff about how Von Miller was the last elite pass rusher to win a Super bowl. That was 2015. So if you're building your team around and this is like, you know, the most important guy on your team, the track record is it is a little harder. To win the super bowl, you need the quarterback.

[B]

Right.

[A]

In the Luca case, Luca is the quarterback. That's like trading Mahomes or trading Joe Burrow or whoever. So I can't compare it to that.

[B]

And the shock value was a 10 because there were not even any rumors about that.

[A]

Like that. And no offers other than this one Laker offer. We didn't know at the time that they were going to miraculously stumble into Cooper flag. And now that's actually a really good trade. So maybe you'll miraculously. Maybe. Can you win the NFL lottery? Have you looked at it. What are the odds?

[B]

Yeah, I think we could do that. I said we could get Arch Manning probably for a fifth round pick now, but we'll see.

[A]

Maybe 32. Oh, man. I watched college football a day yesterday. You would have been proud of me.

[B]

Nice. And it was kind of boring about. I. I wish. Right.

[A]

Game was terrible.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Arch Manning.

[B]

I.

[A]

So I bet on OSU only because of the. This seems like a pretty big moment for this guy with the spotlight and being in Ohio State. But the flip side of that is I parlayed it with Clemson because I don't want to call him out or mention him by name, but Van Lathan told me LSU wasn't going to win and that Clemson was going to kill them. So I parlayed that together. I really like Nussmeier. Yeah, I think that dude has it. Like that's the other thing with Dallas and some of these other teams. Like, like the Saints. If the Saints are awful and you end up with Nussmeier, whose dad played for, you know, the Saints, whose mom was a Saints cheerleader right there, who went to lsu, who grew up there. And that's like if I'm New Orleans, I'm. I'm throwing away the season, which might be what they're doing.

[B]

That seems like where it's going. Yeah. Nuss Meyer was the best of the quarterbacks who had a decent matchup. There were good quarterbacks who went against Division 45 teams last year, last, last night.

[A]

But he seems like a leader. Like, you know, and then I, I like the fact that he grew up. I was reading up on him watching the game last night. Cause it just seems like checks all the boxes, but also like has some real charisma. Whereas I thought that was a rough one for Arch.

[B]

Yeah, Arch was bad. I mean, what do you have, like 38 yards going into the fourth quarter.

[A]

And then kind of he missed like 10 guys. I mean, and even on that final drive, that third and five throw, the guy's wide open. It's a six yard out and he couldn't hit it. But I know we. The problem with college football is these games don't actually matter. Well, now you lose that game and yeah, you can lose the game.

[B]

And be fair, everyone, those two games, both teams, both of them will make the playoffs. All four probably.

[A]

Well, do you want to do guess the lines or do you want to just quit this season? What do you tell me? You seem so sad when you have this look on you. You don't normally have this look until the Cowboys are one and four in week five or so I thought we could.

[B]

I counted Dallas Philly as a loss. So I'm. Whatever. I wasn't going to go crazy, but. But going in, I'm happy to be doing this. Like, what a stupid summer gambling this was. Like, what. What color is the dildo going to be? Is it going to be green? Let's pick green. And then they'll throw it at the women and we'll laugh. This was a ridiculous, asinine summer. So let's gamble on football. I'm ready.

[A]

It was the worst. It was the least amount of sports I think we've had all decades. Because even if you go back to 2020 and 2021. Covid 2020. But then when the bubble came back, at some point, yeah, the bubble came back. And then in 21, the NBA season had been moved back because they started it later. So we had that. And then I think, didn't we have the Olympics that year too, afterwards? Then we had World cup, then we had. I just felt like this was the first time we had nothing going on.

[B]

Yeah, no great soccer, no Olympics this year. The Little League World Series. You could barely bet on these teams. They're too unpredictable. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, it turns out 12 year olds probably aren't as reliable. We're just watching documentaries about women falling off yachts, off cruise ships.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's all we have. We're true crime. We're gonna take a break and then we're going to do week one guest lines. The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. The NFL is back. As you know, FanDuel is making week one even bigger with a chance to win a share of $2 million. You heard me correctly. Bonus bets every game day. That's right, 2 million. Here's how it works. Opt in. Place an anytime TD bet on any week one NFL game using your profit boost. And if the player you pick scores either the first or the last TD of the game, you'll earn a share of $2 million of bonus bets. First TD, you're in. Last TD, you're in. Both. Even better. It's just one more reason of many to bet on the NFL with FanDuel. So whether you've got a feeling about that opening drive or you're banking on a clutch finish, now is the time to get in this game. Just take Trevion Henderson against the Raiders in week one against their crappy linebackers. Just do it for me. Visit FanDuel.com BS to download the app today and get started. FanDuel an official sportsbook partner of the NFL must be 21 + present in select states 18 + President in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming opt in must apply profit boost token on select market prize pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD pick bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus batch which expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook fanduel.com gam problem call 1-800- Gamble or visit rg-help.com, call 1-888-878-97777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Verizon Rookie Debuts Underdog Stories Bold Trades. Talk about refreshing. You know what else is refreshing? A brand new phone with Verizon. Get a new phone on any plan with select phone trade in and my plan lockdown and low price for three years. It's a deal for everyone whether you're a new or existing customer. Swing by Verizon today. Three year price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate only. Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers. All right Sal, you beat me in Guess the Lions last year.

[B]

Yes I did.

[A]

So maybe there's hope for the Cowboys because that the Cowboys winning the NFC east and you beating me and Guess the Lions is about the same on a miracle scale. Before we start, there's eight Sunday one o' clock games because we have a Thursday night game. You're Eagles, Cowboys. Then we have Friday night in Brazil, Chiefs, Chargers and then we have eight Sunday games. And I'm curious what is how are you going to rank these from a multi view standpoint? We have Bucks, Atlanta, Cincy, Cleveland, Miami, Indianapolis, Carolina, Jacksonville, Vegas, Pats, Arizona, New Orleans, Steelers, jets and Giants Washington. So for me, yeah, obviously Pat's Vegas has to be one of them. But I also think that's a pretty good game and two new coaches and two new, you know, Geno, new quarterback, all that stuff. Giants Washington is a must. I really want to see that game. I'm excited for it. I can't wait. I don't, I still don't know what the line is. And then after that I don't know. Would you have Tampa Bay Atlanta as the third one?

[B]

Well, you have to have.

[A]

Yeah, that's in the top.

[B]

We're picking four, right? Yeah, the four.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

It's your team. It's Tampa, Atlanta, it's Pittsburgh Jets. Just from a narrative point of View, Right. You gotta see a couple quarters of that. Do you field Rogers going back?

[A]

Do you? Well, is that gonna be like 6, 3 in the fourth quarter?

[B]

Interesting. I hadn't considered. Do you. Yeah, but that's all about.

[A]

I would argue the fourth one. So I think that the guarantees are Tampa, Falcons, Vegas, Pats and Giants Washington. By the way, you can get all of these on YouTube TV if you get Sunday ticket. I think I'm most interested in Carolina, Jacksonville for the fourth one with the Travis Hunter piece.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

Yeah, let's consider from a multi. From a multi view standpoint. Yeah, I'm interested to see when he comes out, like when it's like, oh, third and 11, there's Travis Hunter, like I'm just immediately going to be fixated on the tv. Plus like if there was ever a setup for Jacksonville to look good as a fantasy team, as a Trevor Lawrence team, all that stuff in week one, it's going to be this Carolina game because their defense is terrible. So I think I'm leaning toward that one as my fourth, but I might be in the minority. It sounds like you would go, you would go Pittsburgh, Jets.

[B]

Well, I go jets, but I don't think I'd put Giants Washington in there. I don't care about that. But I think you're right about Carolina, Jacksonville, just a crossover garbage south game. Get it out of the way. Let's see which teal team wins.

[A]

Oh, I'm in for a Giants Washington. I think that's going to be a good game. Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited for that one. All right, let's do it. Guess the lines. So I give the matchup Sal and I guess lines ahead of time and then Sal's going to tell us the actual line. We did. We did a couple wrinkles for this. We both sent each other lines like a month ago because it's become, with. With all the gambling discourse, it's become impossible to avoid the lines. Although I've somehow avoided them. So we had the caveat you could move this by a point over the course of four weeks. Like if, for instance, Dallas traded the best player on their team, that would be a scenario where you could move at one point.

[B]

Give a better example something that would actually happen.

[A]

Something or somebody got hurt or whatever. So our first game is Thursday night. Eagles, Cowboys. It's in Philly. I got to ask, why isn't this a better game? Usually this first Thursday night game is a good game. Why isn't Washington in this spot? How did we end up with the Cowboys, a team nobody thinks is even going to go.500.

[B]

It's just they have to give him the six pack of primetime games. Right. It has to be Philly at home, defending champ. And I looked through it. There were some other options that could have gone, some of their AFC matchups, but I'm happy with it, get it out of the way so I could fully enjoy Sunday. But you're right. Yeah. This could have been a Sunday night game in Week 10 or something.

[A]

Chris is going to be calling Mike Al. Or maybe just I'll be calling Mike Al.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. So I have the Eagles favored by nine and a half over the Cowboys.

[B]

Oh, okay. So you moved that.

[A]

I said by that point, I said.

[B]

Seven and it's seven and a half. So I get that. I, I, it was actually as low in some spots as six and a half. And the Micah trade moved at a point which doesn't seemed to make sense. Like I don't even know if he was going to play this game, if he had suited up in Big D anyway.

[A]

But the only thing I can think of there, there's been a bunch of week one stats that are pretty good because they have so much good history of bet making and odds shifting, all that stuff. Week one divisional home underdogs against the spread since 2010, 23 and seven. And I think that's the only reason that that line's not nine. But like, how are we not teasing or parlaying the Eagles with something?

[B]

It's the teaser game of the week and shame on you if you didn't have some college along with this to carry over. But, but it could also be Kenny Clark's fanduel revenge game. Who knows?

[A]

Shame on you. Unless you had Clemson because Van Lathanthan told you. Oh, he was going to lose. Fucking Van. Never listening to him again, we should mention. So we're doing this gimmick this year that we talked about on the over Unders, the Ringer 107. We're betting five games per week and we have six shows going against each other. And on Thursday I'm going to do my five picks, you're going to be doing yours. So you're on Ringer gambling. We move stuff around this year. Very excited about it. Ringer gambling show is Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and you're on at noon every day live on YouTube. And on Tuesday you're with Tate. On Wednesday you're with House and House and Debundo. And then on Friday, who's your Friday team?

[B]

The Bundo and Danny Heifetz. And that's my. That's where we'll pick our five. Right. So each show with Pixar 5. That's my favorite.

[A]

So that's going to be you and Debundo. Heifetz is just going to host that part because his fantasy football show is also going to be in Ringer 107. We're going to have the Ringer NFL show in there. The Thursday gambling show is in there. Shield Capati on the Ringer NFL show. He's in there. And we're making five picks a week. The catch is four straight up. The fifth one could be a straight up or a money parlay. Parlay. As long as it's minus 120 or other. The Thursday night games are not eligible. If they were, I would absolutely be putting Philly money parlay in with something. Right. Interesting. Dallas isn't. What's the scenario where you beat Philly? Like, just. You throw. You throw for 430 yards and get like a weird special teams touchdown. That's the only thing I can think of.

[B]

I mean, a lot of. Lot of fumbles on the, like, four Tush push fumbles that, like, we've never seen before. I don't know how it would happen.

[A]

Tush push just stops. Kenny Clark's just stopping the Tush push by himself.

[B]

They changed the rule in the middle of the first quarter. Maybe that's it. That's how we win.

[A]

One thing with you, you do have a good special teams and they, they shifted the kickoff this year so that it's actually more beneficial to the return guys. And you have a good return guys, so maybe you'd have to get a touchdown.

[B]

Well, we'll probably have six or seven kick returns, so that's good.

[A]

What do you have penciled in for George Pickens? Quits on a route and then yells at Dak. Heading back to the huddle. Like week four range. Or do you think he would do this this early?

[B]

I thought you said play four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Week four is out. Oh, there's so much to look forward to. Brian Schottenheimer's got it. He's going to have it all under control.

[A]

You should just watch the Netflix documentary over and over again. All right, Friday night, we're going back to Brazil. Was proud of you. What are you doing?

[B]

This is one three years ago you would have botched this and said, this.

[A]

Is at la, you know.

[B]

Good job by you.

[A]

Yeah, thank you. Chiefs, Chargers, no home field advantage because we're in Brazil. I have no idea if the turf's going to be good. The Chargers as we discussed in the over under pod with the Rashawn Slater out for the year stomach punch which when you get one of those in August it feels like that's just a bad omen for the year. The one thing they do have going for himself Harbaugh 5 and oh against the spread in week one as an NFL head coach. So there you go. Plus the division head to head week one stuff's pretty favorable for the underdogs. I have Chiefs favored by six and a half. Would you. Wow. Too high.

[B]

No, I mean you know this is in Brazil but you don't seem to know this is in Brazil. I had two and a half and it's three.

[A]

It's fine. So you're going to go arrest it.

[B]

I'm working on the Chiefs. I mean you should bet the Chiefs. You were so off there.

[A]

I think that line's going to go up to five and a half six by game time. Why wouldn't it? We nobody likes the Chargers this year. We that was two of our favorite bets was the Chargers under this year.

[B]

Oh everyone looks we don't think they're a playoffs Everyone wants to take the Chiefs from 15 wins to eight and I mean look I I think why it should be higher. They're 7 and oh against the Chargers in the last seven games. I almost I feel like Harbaugh has the most pressure on him as a coach for week one.

[A]

This is a red. That's a ridiculous line. I think the line should be at least six. I'll be vindicated. All right. Wow. So you're beating me two zero already. Yeah, I'm a little rusty. I'm not. I'm like the Cincinnati Bengals have guessed the lines the week one. I'm just a mess.

[B]

There's a cash out button if you want to hit it now.

[A]

Check out of the week Sunday marquee Detroit at Green Bay. Do we see Michael Parsons in this game do you think?

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

Yeah well if we do he's going to do good. There's some favorable packers stuff here including in the first three games of the season since 2019 they're 15 and three against the spread. I thought the Lions would be favored a month ago I could only move my line a point. If I really had to do this I would probably make the packers favorites. But I have the Lions by a half point over the Packers.

[B]

A half point doesn't exist. You can't do that.

[A]

I had them at one and a half So I moved at a point and I'm at a half point.

[B]

That's not a real thing.

[A]

That's my pick.

[B]

Bet a team that doesn't exist.

[A]

Go look at the rulebook.

[B]

All right. All right. You win. I said Detroit by one. So you, whoever you have by half, wins because Green Bay is favored by 2 1/2 now.

[A]

Yeah, that. So I would have guessed if I wasn't handicapped by the original guests, I would. I would have said packers by two.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Interesting. So you lost. Take the loss. The week one division. Home underdogs again, 23 and 7 against the spread. So that feels like by the time. And we're doing ringer Sunday pregame again on Sundays on YouTube on the Winger Gambling YouTube channel. That feels like you guys will be talking about that as like a rat line. Packers, Lions, where everybody's on Green Bay, but the line is like one and a half. And you're like, why isn't this line higher? I'm. I'm suspicious of packers money, packers momentum, all that stuff.

[B]

I wonder where that settles. I. I'm. Now I look at that. I'm like, wow, Detroit plus eight and a half on teasers. Pretty damn good week one, especially with all your underdog division things. By the way, maybe we make a blanket statement whenever we talk about teasers. Everyone else should go do something else. Go clean out your pantry or something.

[A]

Yeah, because nobody does teasers anymore.

[B]

And they don't win.

[A]

They change the juice too much. Well, we. We basically do a money paralyzed now, so we could call them MPs.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this case, Moving Detroit from 2 and a half to 8 and a half was. Anyway, I'm curious to see where that settles.

[A]

Can I do random get up guy?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Let's hear it. Okay.

[B]

Oh, you're making adjustments.

[A]

I'm going to yell. I know it's week one, but this is a must win game for the Green Bay Packers. They cannot lose this game and go one game back against Detroit. It will haunt them the whole season. Great. Thank you.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

500,000 views just for that.

[A]

Must, Must win is. Is this a must win for Green Bay in week one? Guess what? There are no must wins until December. But have your content. The Watchables. I have 1, 2, 3, 4. Wat? Do you count Pat's Raiders as a watchable?

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

Or is that a fairly watchable?

[B]

No, it's good.

[A]

All right, well, I guess I have. I have five watchables. It's a good week one. Considering we shot our wad on Thursdays and Fridays too. Okay. Bucks Falcons. I know we don't like the NFC south but there's a lot of fantasy guys in this game. Yeah, it's a scary stretch for Tampa because they basically have two receivers. They have no worse at least for this game. And then Atlanta is missing their starting right tackle blindside protector for Pennix and the guy who is his backup. I'm just really interested to see what happens in this game. I have, I had to move this. Oh no. I got Bucks minus one.

[B]

Bucks minus one.

[A]

It is in Atlanta.

[B]

Yeah, I, I, I said Atlanta minus one and a half for all those reasons. They're coming in a little bit gimpy. They're injured but you're right. Or writer. Tampa Bay minus two and a half. So you get that one.

[A]

We should mention you picked Tampa Bay to make the Super Bowl.

[B]

I like them to make the super bowl. And we talked about this game in particular on our NFC rundown. Like don't panic if Atlanta wins by 17 this game, just wait. Tampa will be there when the cream rises to the crop and Atlanta will eventually turn back into the Falcons.

[A]

I know it's week one but this is a must win game for the Atlanta Falcons. They could take control of the NFC South. They have them at home. They have to get this game.

[B]

You know you should do that for every all 32 teams. How it's a must win and then.

[A]

Cut it up and then send it.

[B]

Out to the various cities. It'd be great.

[A]

I'm going to like almost like syndicate it.

[B]

Yeah, syndicate your rent, your get up rent.

[A]

So I put this as a watchable which is ridiculous because probably in five weeks this would be in the poop fecta but Jags, Panthers just solely because of Travis Hunter. I'm in and I'm probably at scale 1 to 10. I'm probably like a 9 on being excited just to watch how we where he plays and how that unfolds during a game. But I might be too high. I also think this is the setup for the every, every week one we have a team that looks awesome and fools everybody.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I think it could be Jacksonville this week. They're home, they're playing Carolina. Bad defense. Coker got hurt on the Panthers who I think was looming as a little fantasy sleeper guy right after they traded at Adam Thielen. So now the Panthers are down down at receiver, their defense stinks and and I could see the Jags lighting it up and people have been like Trevor Lawrence Is he. Has he officially arrived? That's like settled down. Yeah, settle down. He has not arrived. Carolina's defense is terrible.

[B]

Oh, come on.

[A]

I have the Jaguars favored by two at home against the Panthers.

[B]

All right, I get this. I said three and a half and it is three. Oh, I nudge you out there. Yeah. I think you're right, though. These are two quarterbacks. People want to be good. Make the case for. Make the case for Carolina to win the NFC south after they go one and. Oh, make the case for the Jaguars, even though I have them to win the AFC South. But yeah, this will be. This could be biggest overreaction game.

[A]

Yeah. Brown came back for the Panthers, but I'm pretty sure he can't play all 11 positions. I haven't checked that, but I think he's only one of the 11 guys on the defense. 49 or Seahawks is going to be. I mean, the Seahawks, I've gone all in. I think they're the nobody believes in us team. And then you go on the flip side with the 49ers where no IUK, obviously Jennings doesn't seem like he's playing in week one, so they're down on receivers. Seattle's home. I think they're going to be underdogs. I have the 49ers favored by two and obviously it's going to be no surprise the Seahawks will probably be in my ring or 107 on Thursday.

[B]

You get this. I had San Francisco by one. You had the 49ers by two, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I am by one. 49ers favored by two and a half.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

By the way, I have a theory now. It's early. It's too early. We've only gone through like six games. I think two and a half, which we've seen three times now, is the.

[A]

New one and a half. Is the new one and a half. What do we call the one and a half? The Mentos Tic Tac. Tic tac.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Because one and a half calories. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we have to figure out what two and a half is. We'll. We'll take suggestions.

[A]

I feel like the Seahawks, this is a must win week one game for them too. But I'm not going to do it because I've never done it. This is a must win game for the Seahawks.

[B]

Get up.

[A]

Coming up next, top five pass rushers, Rams, Texans is just a really good game. It's in. It's in la.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There will not be a lot of Houston fans there. I don't did we find out if they're left tackles playing for the Rams? I guess that's going to be like just monitor all week.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The Bloodcocks, like just. It's a stay away for me even thinking about betting until we find out what happens with that guy. I have Rams -2 at home.

[B]

All right, you changed that. You shouldn't have. I had two and a half and it is two and a half.

[A]

I did change it. I changed it because the left tackle might not play and Matthew Stafford is in traction.

[B]

I thought it was worth going down.

[A]

Yeah, traction and blood clots are scary.

[B]

You've always been weirdly afraid of blood clots.

[A]

I don't know. This. This feels like a. Hey, Texans defense, let's see it. Nice spot for them, right? Little. Little shakiness on that Rams offensive line. Stafford maybe not wanting to get hit. Like, let's go get our guy. We got the best secondary in the league. Let's just blanket some receivers. I. I like the spot for the Texans. I do not like the spot for the next team. The Patriots are home for the Las Vegas Raiders, and I had this penciled in as a guaranteed win about a month ago. I have no idea if Christian Gonzalez is playing. And this is like a big topic right now with the Pats. With. With on the Pats text threads. Hench may or may not have texted me about it 17 different times. He's the best player in the defense. He's the shutdown cornerback. He hurt his hamstring a few weeks ago, and there's just been kind of radio silence on it, so I would watch that. On the flip side, the Raiders linebackers are really bad, and this could be an immediate Trayvon Henderson breakout game, but it's a little scary that the Pats look like you're just. Oh, yeah, they'll be. Something scares me about this.

[B]

Scary for you because you're a slight favorite, I'll tell you that. We haven't gone over the number yet. And if you lose, though, you have to change your entire opinion of your team for the worse. So I wish you a lot of luck. In the words of James Baby doll.

[A]

Dixon, Pat's -1 1 1/2 was my pick.

[B]

Our new favorite number two and a half. And I think I get it here. Where is it? Yeah, I said three. It's two and a half.

[A]

You're killing me. What's your lean in this game?

[B]

I think New England. I think New England, but probably in a stupid way. I'm not sure how.

[A]

I Might try to buy the win and take the.

[B]

Raiders just in 21:20 where they don't cover but they win. Right? Dumb shit.

[A]

Fairly watchables. We got Steelers, jets in Jersey. A hilarious matchup. It's good, it's. It's a double revenge game but neither guy is good enough to get revenge so I don't know what we would call that. It's like oh Justin Fields revenge game. It's like is it? And then Aaron Rodgers, he could barely move. Revenge game.

[B]

I don't know another word starts with re. But I, I won't say it but yeah, revenge Steelers.

[A]

I have, I have the Steelers favored in Jersey by three and a half.

[B]

Oh, you move that one too.

[A]

I did.

[B]

I went three, kept it at three. It's two and a half again. Two and a half.

[A]

You got kidding me with these two and a halfs to it. I already lost. It's going to be hard for me to not want to pick the jets when we get to Sunday. No to pick the jets on Sunday as a home dog and yet I don't want to. And this is a non bet. If you bet on this game, you're just desperate to bet on shit. Don't tease this game, don't parlay it. Just play it straight up if you're going to do it. Anything is possible in this game.

[B]

This is just sit back and watch it and laugh. It's like you're watching Dumb and Dumber too with the kids. You know you don't need any stakes going in.

[A]

Could you see the Steelers winning? But winning by a point and not covering.

[B]

That's a good, that's a fun one.

[A]

And what's the cousin south special for this game?

[B]

Have you seen it?

[A]

I don't think they have that. They don't have them yet.

[B]

They don't have that yet.

[A]

So that would be. I should have that a week before.

[B]

That'd be jets to be winning at half and then the Steelers to win the game. So you probably get about 6 to.

[A]

1 on that same game parlay. I'm on fanduel right now. Don't they have the half bets? First half spread. You do the money line or just the spread? Oh, first half winner.

[B]

Yeah, do it like that if you can.

[A]

Pittsburgh -110 and then we do Pittsburgh minus. Oh no, we want to do the other one at minus 110. This is some riveting stuff.

[B]

We'll figure it out.

[A]

Gehaz gonna have to cut at least some of this jets to win the first half. Oh, plus five. 24.

[B]

524. Okay. Yeah, there you go. It could happen. Get it off the board. They did it five times in cash last year.

[A]

Honestly, you know, FanDuel, they just continue to improve the product, but also they're using some AI. I think they told the AI to factor in the cousin south special.

[B]

Did they really?

[A]

Even if they spit this out at 8 to 1, lower it like by 300.

[B]

Well, I think that's illegal.

[A]

That's minus 800 two years ago.

[B]

Is it bad for the network if I sue Fanduel for that? Because I don't think that's right.

[A]

I don't think they like the cousin's house special. Too lucrative. Last year, Washington is home for the Giants. I just wrote down under this one. Oh, boy.

[B]

Why do you like this so much?

[A]

I do. I like this one. Underdogs of six and a half or more in week one since 2006. 49 and 27 against the spread. We already mentioned that division Underdog bet that's 23 and 7. I every Giants fan I know and the Giants fans I think are realistic with teams. It is not a fan base. They've won. They don't need to do like the false positive. They like. They're just like, yeah, we suck. We're never going to win with Daniel Jones. I don't like our coach. The Giants fans are in on this season like across the board. They're like, I like the team. I like everything I'm reading. Dart is not is going to be in by week five. We're going to have this crazy pass rush. We're going to be able to run the ball a little bit. Neighbors is a freak day balls and coaching for his career basically right now I like so I have Washington favored by 8.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I like the Giants.

[B]

I mean I think your stat that you led with is going to like they they have to keep it between six, six and a half. I know with the underdog in the division. I said six at six and a half.

[A]

Yeah. I'm just getting absolutely slaughtered. I'd like to apologize.

[B]

I mean everyone thinks the Giant fans they lead with the and they have a great defensive front, but those four guys aren't going to score 20 points a game.

[A]

Something's got it is one of those fronts though that if they can get a leader hang around, I think they're in great shape. If they're down 10, then I get a little worried. But I don't know I'd be scared of that game. Every year we have the team in that -6 to -7 range get upset in week one. Last year was the Bengals against the Pats. Like it's just lock it down. You know it's happening. Here's another candidate. Broncos home against Tennessee. They're in that range of, you know, be careful. Bo Nicks 8no is a favorite. Rookie QBs having a play on the road in week one. 8 and 21 straight up. 13 and 14 against the spread since 1970. Number one pick QBs since 1970 in their first start. 5 and 22. 8 and 20 against spread. So all kinds of lines. And then the Broncos when they won last year, they'd win big. I love the Broncos. I picked them to make the AFC title game and to win the AFC west. And I have the Broncos favored by seven and a half.

[B]

Yeah, you stayed with that. You didn't change it. It is exactly seven and a half. I went seven. So you win that and welcome to the jungle. Cam Ward. Yeah, I went big on that last year. The rookie quarterback not winning and it was Caleb Williams against Will Levis. I think it was in Tennessee. I think it was. Tennessee was winning by 17. And then Levis made so mad he was the rookie quarterback there. He made throws you'd never seen before and never will to blow that game.

[A]

I think that's why he doesn't start in the NFL.

[B]

That could be it. Yeah.

[A]

Poop factor. I'm putting the Broncos in a moneyline parlay. I'm just telling you now. I hope that line stays around the same. I've specifically haven't looked at Lions done anything but after we're done with this, I'm going to. There's going to be some moves. Poop factor. Colts, Dolphins. It's in Indianapolis. You could argue this could be in the fairly watchables. But no Jalen Waddle. Not positive who the Dolphins starting running back is going to be. There's some a chain maybe play, maybe not. We'll know more of next week. The Dolphins have the stink on them almost to the point that I could see a zag where they're actually start out pretty good people like oh, nobody saw this coming. I have Colts by one and a half.

[B]

You picked that exactly right. I said Colts by one. And yeah, the Bundo and JJ have a very large stake riding on this game. This is both their teams. This is pathetic. This is the healthiest the Dolphins will be and they're a dog to Danny Dimes. This is. This is pretty bad for them.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna so we both went under on them at seven and a half. And we had some people in our life like, watch out, bro. I don't want to say who it was was like, watch out, bro. We're gonna be better than that, bro. They're not even favored in this game. So how are they 7 1/2 to 4 over unders?

[B]

Is this. Can I lock you into a cross off after this game?

[A]

You can lock me into not putting any money on this game because there's no way I'm betting on Daniel Dimes.

[B]

Ever the oh and one team. Do we cross off? We like to get rid of one a week. I mean, or do we do. Can we cross a ball off now?

[A]

You want me to. You want me to say this is a must win. I need like a shirt and tie and a jacket for the must win get up thing. So you're saying must win for either team.

[B]

I think in terms of our cross offs, which are bulletproof, no cross off has ever made the playoffs before.

[A]

Can I. Can I nudge you in a slightly different direction for this idea? This to me is like, whoever loses first, coach fired favorite immediately. You're like minus 200 now in that, right? Because, like, if Steichen loses this, you're now the favorite. And if McDaniel gets. If they get embarrassed and killed, they're now the favorite.

[B]

I think that's a good way to go.

[A]

Yeah. Bengals, Browns. Bengals at Cleveland. They have the. That weird. They suck in the first two games of every year. Joe Burrow, 1 and 9 against the spread in the first two games in his career. The Browns. I can't even figure out who's starting a running back for them. I'm in this Guillotine fantasy league right now, and it could. It literally could be anybody. It might be Nick Chubb. He's not even on the Browns anymore. He might be one of the starters. I have no idea who's starting for them.

[B]

Should be Ford eventually.

[A]

The qb. There's some Simpson guy involved. Miles Garrett is still there, so congrats to him. It's in Cleveland. I don't trust Cincinnati. I will definitely not be parlaying, teasing the Bengals in any way, shape or form. I have the Bengals minus eight.

[B]

Okay, I get this. I said six and a half. It's five and a half.

[A]

Vegas zone. Our first Vegas zone.

[B]

Yeah. Division game. Cleveland. For all the reasons. I mean, he's 1 in 10, this Zach Taylor in the first few weeks of the season. So I think that's why they have it at five And a half. I think I said Harbaugh has the most pressure Week one. This Zach Taylor is another one. If he loses another one of these clunker games to terrible Cleveland. Come on, that's enough. This might make the four box, though. If this is close in the third quarter, we may have to put that on.

[A]

Somebody sneaking into the four box from these bad games. Yeah, somebody will get bounced. Last one is Cardinals in New Orleans. This has another. This is another one that I'm probably too low. I was stuck with the original pick I had. I think it's higher than. But I'm stuck with what I have to guess. I have Cardinals minus four in New Orleans. It's pretty probably higher.

[B]

Yeah. Why are you stuck? I. I said. I said three and a half and it's five and a half, so you get it. Wait, I gotta add these up now. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 1, 2, 3, four, five, six. Oh, I'm still winning eight.

[A]

Six. I thought it would be at least six.

[B]

Yeah. What world is Arizona? Who I love this year? Laying. Laying five and a half on the road. I mean, this is. You get beat by Rattler, so be it. I'm. I'm putting this on a teaser.

[A]

Counter. Don't tease Kyler Murray. Just don't. Why are you doing that? You can't. It's one of the rules. It's like one of the foundational rules of the 2020s is don't put Kyler Murray in a tease. You can't. Don't do it.

[B]

I like them too much this year. This has to be a w. All.

[A]

Right, so if you're doing the symbotic strategy, my symbotics that I created 15 years ago, whoever you really like, you just have to back them in week one. So this is the perfect spot. My question for this is if the Cardinals are really good, and we don't know that yet, but in week eight, we will know that. What would this line. We'll look back. We always look back at these week one lines. They're like, wow, the Cardinals were only minus five and a half. That would be like minus 13 now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So could that be the candidate for this?

[B]

Yeah, that could be something like that. Right? The Saints are already tanking. It's not even Halloween.

[A]

Or. Or it's. Wow. The Cardinals were favored by -5 and a half on the road. How fucking stupid.

[B]

Were the Saints not favored?

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

Remember what the Saints said last year with a more promising quarterback crew there? They won. They scored 40 points in each of their first two games or something against my team and then just fell apart.

[A]

We never talked on the over under pot about your feelings on Kellen Moore as a head coach because they. Your feelings weren't exactly excited as. As his. Your offensive coordinator. I can't say you were like a giant Kellen Moore fan.

[B]

No, no. And I'm happy for him and everything, but this is a. I think this is the worst spot a court coach has been thrown into in a long time. Right.

[A]

It is definitely a I needed a job kind of spot. You know that because you don't ever want to go to a situation with a bad ownership group that also doesn't have a quarterback. But if you think, like, can I just hold on for a year and then we get Nussmeier, now I'm feeling pretty good.

[B]

Yeah. And this was the last spot to fill. Right. Because I had to wait for Kellen Moore and the super bowl to end and everything. But there was a point where you're like, wow, maybe Kellen Moore doesn't want this and nobody wants this job. Maybe they're talking still in May about who's going to coach this. New Orleans.

[A]

Hugh Jackson is the head coach Sunday night. Fantastic game. Bills, Ravens. It's in Buffalo. You can't do better?

[B]

No.

[A]

This is the best possible AFC game from an entertainment standpoint. Sorry, Kansas City. It might be the best game you could just put together, period, for a week One. Ironically, I did pick Buffalo minus two and a half for this one.

[B]

Yeah, I did, too. And it's one and a half. So it went back to the old one and a half, our friend. But, yeah, this is. I don't know. I'm trying to think of what our reaction is. It going to be an overreaction coming on the pod after this. If the Ravens win by a field goal, the new kicker bongs it off the upright at the buzzer, and you're going to be like, the Ravens, a team to beat for the rest of the decade. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Yes, you're right. They are. And then everyone kills us.

[A]

I have the Ravens losing this game. I mean, when I did all the prep before the season, I had this as. And now I have them two and two coming out of the first four and then like winning everything after that. As you know, I'm all in on the. This is Josh Allen's year. I picked them to win. To win. To win the Super Bowl. And I just think you have to win this game if you're the Bills. I wouldn't call it a must win, but this is a good we're here. The AFC is going to actually run through us this year and we're going to smack the Baltimore around a little bit.

[B]

What a great game. I'm very excited. It's very hard to beat at home. We talked about this is mid-90s bills again. They have like three losses in two and a half years at home.

[A]

So I'll see you right after the game live on my YouTube channel that will also run as a podcast, as a video podcast on Spotify. But we're going boom live, ready to go. You won't be sad because the Cowboys will have played 72 hours earlier.

[B]

Yeah, it'll be in a good mood.

[A]

Yeah, I can't wait. Monday night Bears, Vikings in Chicago. Justin Jefferson, mild hamstring strain. Not sure what's going on with him yet. Adam Thielen, age 35. They had to trade for him because Addison's out for three weeks. J.J. mcCarthy in a possible Arch Manning spot playing in Chicago and with a lot of pressure on him and a lot of eyeballs and yet I think the line is only Chicago minus one and a half.

[B]

It's Minnesota minus one and wait, let me make sure I got this. It's Minnesota -1 1/2 and that's what I had.

[A]

Holy mackerel.

[B]

That's what it'll be and that's a win for me. Yeah.

[A]

So I promise you I'm going to be taking the bears in Ringer 107. You can lock that down right now.

[B]

Could this be the Levis Williams game from last year with the year two quarterback goes against a year one quarterback and we just assume that and like Caleb Williams sucks this year.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I wonder. I wonder.

[A]

Oh, interesting. Wow. I'm really surprised. The Vikings are favored because on the over unders, the Bears are eight and a half and the Vikings are nine and a half.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The Vikings are not healthy and the Bears are right. I think this line shifts. I'm going to predict, I think by game time on Monday. I think this is Bears minus one and a half.

[B]

Too much Minnesota love here.

[A]

Yeah, I don't get that rookie QB on the road. Plus like the chance to bet on a home dog on a Monday night in week one in a division matchup. Like too many. Too many things for that.

[B]

Sorry, I'm towing here. It's like signing a golf cart at the end of the round. You're like, you won't. The win won't count.

[A]

Oh you're like Tommy Fleetwood.

[B]

Yeah. I have to sign.

[A]

Just got to make sure I nail.

[B]

This 10, 7, 1 nothing on the year. Okay, good. Now I could talk to Jim.

[A]

Not a strong start for me. I'm just glad I know the lens. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break then. Quick. Parent Corner this episode is brought to you by Disney, Hulu and the new ESPN app. For the first time ever, get all of ESPN along with Disney and Hulu for an incredible limited time offer. It's all the entertainment you need for just $29.99 a month for 12 months. Visit Disney/Hulu ESPNbundle.com for details. Ad supported plan auto renews at Regular price. Currently 35.99amonth. Subject to change unless canceled. Ends January 5, 2026. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Viori. Look, I'm not a big let's hype up workout clothes guy, but Viori, I gotta say, total game changer. Been wearing a lot. If you see me power walking around Los Angeles, probably gonna see me wearing some Vuori Sunday performance joggers that they have. It's made with four way performance stretch fabric, one of the most comfortable things you own. You will wear them everywhere, I promise. All you have to do is go to Vuoria.com Simmons and you get 20% off your first purchase with Vuori. V U O-R-I.com Simmons enjoy free shipping on all US orders over $75 plus free returns. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. And now it's time for draft recap presented by our friends at Yahoo. Fantasy. Yahoo Fantasy the best place to play fantasy football this season. Season starts on Thursday, September 4th. You can do the new Yahoo Fantasy Guillotine leagues lowest scoring team gets eliminated instantly. You play with your friends. With the new draft with friends mode, you can do a private league, do public league, knock yourself out. Yahoo has everything. It's the best place to play. We did our big ringer Yahoo Fantasy draft Snake draft last week. Controversial. I took five quarterbacks. I didn't like the options. I had the first pick. By the time it got back to me, I wasn't that excited about just grabbing one. Got to the fifth round, some guys were gone. I was like, screw it. I'm just going to keep taking awesome guys and then I'll address the QB later. And I just rolled the dice. Caleb Williams, Trevor Lawrence, Michael Penix. I just kept taking guys, hoping one of them hits like Baker Mayfield hit last year. Was it a Great strategy. I don't know. Did I have fun? Yeah, I did. And if it worked, I look like a genius, which is all I care about. The season is almost here. All you have to do is draft [e-mail] Ringer all right, parent Corner, We've been doing this for a long time. My kids are grown up. You still have a younger one. For my Parent Corners this season, I'm going to really have to lean on my parents versus my kids because they're way funnier and way more interesting.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

So I'm just. All parents are eligible for Parent Corner and Sal and I are hitting the point where our parents are old, we're taking care of them in a lot of different ways. And the comedy is just coming pretty fast and furiously at this point. But you still have young Harrison entering the sixth grade, plus Jack still in high school. And I feel like you have more comedy weapons than I do. So you go first.

[B]

Zoe Jr. In college. I have Archie Jr. 30 year old.

[A]

Zoe's like a 30 year old at this point. Plus, if I did a Parent Corner about her, she'd fucking kill me.

[B]

Well, that's the whole thing.

[A]

So that's out.

[B]

Yeah, you got. Everybody's listening now. Well, I, I recommended years ago, you, you adopt someone because it's a kid and, and you could still do it. And I could, I could put in a good word for you with our friend Brad, who I got custody of. He's also, he's screaming in another room right now for no reason. I don't know why. He was screaming at the UCLA quarterback last night, like 10 o' clock at night. Captain now. Is he a captain? Just nuts. I mean. And so we get custody of him every Labor Day weekend and the whole visit is just an overload of beef ribs and orange Shasta colon napping and screaming at commercials. So.

[A]

But when you say get custody, it's not like he belongs to somebody else. You basically inherit him for Labor Day weekend.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So Jimmy Kimmel Live is off for a couple weeks. So he hasn't seen people in a while. So we bring him out. So. Right. So, and then so, and it's always fun. Kids love him. But. So I'll give an example. But some of the things he says, well, first of all, we went for barbecue. The waitress said he ordered a beef rib, which is his favorite. She says it's on the menu. And she's like, no, we don't sell those anymore. He walked off. He walked off and we didn't see him for two minutes. And the waitress is, like, waiting, like, just waiting, confused.

[A]

And then he comes back, stood up and left.

[B]

He stood up and walked off. And I thought it was for comedy, but then, like, two minutes. It was like a solid two minutes. I was like, all right, just wait here because I don't want you to have to come back. And then he comes back and he accuses her of not looking hard enough for beef ribs. Like, they're back there somewhere. I know they are. And she doesn't get the joke. And then five minutes later, we had a totally new waiter, as it was. So that's. That's just an example.

[A]

Good idea.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. He's in the basement. He's looking at the shitty little trophies my kids have amassed over the years. And he tells them, listen, if you ever choose to commit murder, do not leave your trophies in the trunk of your car, because that's the first place the cops are going to check. And it's going to seem like you were looking to flee. And so, like, all right, but my favorite parent corner life advice thing is what he said to them yesterday.

[A]

He had sits and dies.

[B]

Like, listen, there are 7 billion YouTube shorts posted by parents where they think their kids are doing something smart or funny. And out of the 7 billion, only 4 kids total are smart or funny. So don't ever post videos of your stupid kids. They're not going to be smart or funny. Nothing against you. It's just math. It's not personal. So that's my parent corner.

[A]

What did they say to. What was the response to that?

[B]

More confusion. Laughing. Can't tell. By the way, I more or less agree with that.

[A]

Didn't you also, you had a thing where you. You walk to get ribs, but the bar was too packed, and then Brad couldn't walk back, so you then had to walk back and get the car to pick him up.

[B]

He was.

[A]

He wasn't capable.

[B]

He has a inexplicable limp for the last 25 years. And it was kind of walking back to my house was kind of uphill.

[A]

And I was like, why did you decide. But why did you decide to walk anywhere with him?

[B]

Well, because it's Labor Day weekend. It's crazy. I can park by you. I'd be closer than if I try to get a spot, so I don't know. Yeah, we bit off more beef rib than we could chew there.

[A]

What is Brad on the iPhone? What are his steps every day, you think.

[B]

Over a thousand? Well, his phone hasn't worked in six Weeks. He is pacing around a lot, so a lot of Shasta Soda Cola.

[A]

My apparent corner. So my mom has just gone up seven levels as a character.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Including when David Chang asked me to be on Dinner Time Live and I wanted her to the recipe for meatballs. She thought that I wanted her to make the meatballs and was preemptively upset about it that she'd have to cook on a Monday and do all this work. And it was a misunderstanding. I gave her four days to prepare. But the problem was she had made ravioli for my son and me when my wife was away, but didn't tell us she was making it. We didn't ask for it. You know, she lives far enough away from us, it's hard to get. And she made the ravioli, and she's like, hey, I made you guys ravioli. You gotta come and get it. And Ben's, you know, he's about to be a high school senior. He's the least reliable person probably on the planet. I don't even ask him to go get me a water at this point. And then I was, like, legitimately busy doing stuff, so was never able to get over there, which then made her mad. And she held a grudge about it for, like, two, three weeks that she cooked us the ravioli. And we never came to get it, but we never asked for the ravioli. So I had to navigate that whole thing with her. But as you know, with the moms, they start taking stuff personally. But the thing I noticed. So she watches these movies, she subscribes to Britbox and all this stuff on Amazon, and she watches all these different things, but can't remember the title or who was in the shows and then tries to tell you about what the program was. Right. So she was telling me about some movie the other day, couldn't remember who was in it, but it was like, you know, the English lady. There's a lot of English actresses that didn't really narrow it down for me. And then it was something. And there was a. And just couldn't get it. And I was thinking there should be a Shazam for moms. And I can't remember if SNL maybe did a version of a sketch about this. I can't remember. But something like where they start describing what the show is, and then I can just put it in the app.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

And it translates your mom, where she's like. So it was on Amazon that that English lady was in it, and she gets murdered. And then there's. And It. But it's really good. You got to watch it. Like, there's just barely enough breadcrumbs to know what the show is. And then I put it into my app and it's an AI spits out. Like, that's actually the new movie with Kristen Scott Thomas. There is no spy thing. She has three daughters and that's just. We just basically mom translator.

[B]

I think she should have said anything because it's too good. It's a good idea and you should have just pursued it and done it.

[A]

I called Alec, had him like fund it.

[B]

Call our buddy Alec. You should call it Shazamma. Like a grandma kind of thing.

[A]

Or Shazamma. Does your mom do this where she just gives you recommendations? Yeah.

[B]

It becomes like a game of charades. Like, oh, she was in the movie.

[A]

But then she broke up with the guy and then they had a baby. Jennifer Aniston. But she looks like her. Right, right, right. Yeah, I don't. So you hit a certain point after you've had a couple kids and lived your life, you just can't remember anyone's name anymore who's in a movie or a TV show. Is that where we've landed?

[B]

But it ends up being six degrees of like, we could navigate it at this age because we remember the act of like, okay, I know he was in this thing, so I'll go to his IMDb or I'll go to that show. That movie's IMDb. And then I'll be like, if you.

[A]

Give me Scarlett Johansson, I can now go in and be like, all right, Scarlett Johansson. So this sounds like a Shazamma.

[B]

I think that's great.

[A]

Shazamma.

[B]

That's very, very helpful. It'd be great for like them remembering your friends too. Although that would be a little more difficult to detect. Right. Whatever happened to that one guy who lived over on Hammond Road and yeah, his father went to jail for a minute.

[A]

Brad.

[B]

Yeah. Trophies in the trunk.

[A]

I randomly, over the course of a couple weekends, saw a bunch of my old friends and it brought her delight to no end. When the old friends get together, it really makes them happen. Anyway, Shazama, a new, new parent Corner house says that could be a half baked idea. I have to pitch it to Wilds. All right, so we're going to take a break, come back. The last thing we have on this podcast is we taped on Thursday. We did our whole back and forth NFL futures draft that you did really well on last year.

[B]

I did. I won. I had both the offensive rookie and defensive rookie. Of the year. So that's how I. That's how I won't.

[A]

Yeah. So we just went snake fashion. We did it Fogo to chow style. We just kept throwing props at each other until we ran a half hour.

[B]

There's a lot of dead air, but it's nice. It's a nice breezy. Listen, but I do have a couple plugs here I want to. We got to talk about a couple of things here. Three days, three days a week on the ringer gambling channel. That's me. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. I'm going to be live at noon.

[A]

ET on the ringer gambling thing. And you're also going to be posting shorts and all kinds of posting shorts.

[B]

I have an interview with Michael Irvin this week. I only have like a million things to ask him. Tuesday starts with Tate. We'll go over the college week. Tate went three and one with his picks. Kids good. We'll talk about Bella cheats debut as an underdog against TCU Monday and looking ahead to week one.

[A]

And by the way, heavy, heavy MJ rumors on the sideline for that North Carolina game. Yeah, there's some rumors there's.

[B]

So there could be two Jordans. The girlfriend Jordan and the. And the Michael Jordan double Jordan. Real quick, I'm hosting an eliminator pool. 250,000 to the winner. Splash sports, cousin Sal's loser take all. But finally our friend Tony's turn to kick someone out of our fantasy league on Tuesday. And I just want to say that Tony is the most talented fellow I have ever met. He was amazing as Mole and John Quincy Adams and Windy City Heat as Nile Standish and crank anchors Jake Bird, possibly the funniest character in late night history. He cooks, he snowboards, he fixes shit. He's a renaissance man. Incredible family. His youngest son went off to college this week. Just a special talent. Great guy. Can't say enough about him. I don't know if you have anything nice to say about him, but I.

[A]

Mean, once upon a time, me, you and Tony shared after our friend Daniel got fired. Right. We took over his office and it was me and you and Tony and it's some of the best memories of my entire life just getting to spend that much time with the team in. Yeah. So whoever he chooses to vote out on on Tuesday, I'm sure it'll be a really good, smart pick that he put a lot of thought into. And if it happens to be one of us, I'd still respect the hell out of him because he's that great of a guy. Yeah.

[B]

Sounds like you're pandering. Like I really meant what I said, but yours sound a lot like pandering.

[A]

But that's one of the funniest people ever. One of the nicest people ever. Huge fan of the Celtic City. Doc. Sent me a nice long text about it and just somebody I really treasure as a human being.

[B]

Yeah, Good job, Tony. Don't fuck this up, please.

[A]

Who's the favorite to get voted out?

[B]

I don't know. It might be the guy wandering around with the looking at everyone's trophies in my the next room over here. I'm not sure.

[A]

All right, well, I'll see you on Tuesday. Sorry about Michael Parsons. We'll be back. Give me a quick good job by you.

[B]

Good job by you, buddy.

[A]

Good job by you. We'll be back with the futures draft right after this. This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. There's one thing I'm going to make sure I pack for my summer vacation. It's my Apple Card. I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including fuel for my car and booking places to stay. Plus, I don't have to worry about fees, including foreign transaction fees, which is perfect when I'm planning to travel abroad. To get an Apple Card for your summer travels, apply on the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on creditworthiness rates as of July 1, 2025 terms and [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by the Home Depot. Labor Day Savings are happening right now at the Home Depot so you can get more out of your outdoor space this fall. The Home Depot has a wide selection of cordless outdoor power equipment that makes it easy to clear your lawn starting at just $79. You gotta love a power tool. Then why not make those colors pop with string lights and mums that bloom all season long? Shop Labor Day Savings now through September 3rd only at the Home Depot. All right. You'll be watching and listening to this on a Sunday, but we are recording this late Wednesday afternoon futures draft, second annual. We had such fun with this. Who won last year?

[B]

I did. This one. I won. You crushed the over on the. I had both rookies of the year, so.

[A]

Right. So it's basically one unit and if there's all kinds of like if you do like a ten to one and it Hits. So we'll. We'll keep track of it. What we do is somebody gets first pick, somebody gets the next two, somebody gets the next two, and we. We go that way. Futures that we like. I'll give you the. Do you want the first pick or second and third? What do you want?

[B]

Second and third.

[A]

Okay, I'll go first pick. Then Philly, Casey and Baltimore ought to make the playoffs. Minus 110.

[B]

Oh, you're. It's over. You lost.

[A]

I'm locking it down. Thank you.

[B]

Oh, that's good. That's good.

[A]

That is a. We've done been doing this for I don't know how many years where we put together a parlay like that. And you say, who's losing that? Simmons.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

I can't come up with a team that loses that. It would have to be a Kansas City catastrophe.

[B]

That was it. We went through that. That's even odds. About minus 110.

[A]

Yeah. Minus 110.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

All right. You have the next.

[B]

All right, I will go in this order for the AFC North. Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, Browns. Plus three.

[A]

10. Okay. Plus three. 10. So you think Pittsburgh will be the three seed is basically the bet. It's a smart bet.

[B]

Yeah, I think what. It would. What?

[A]

You're basically going Cincinnati versus Pittsburgh for that two spot. I agree with you. I think that's a good one. I like that. All right, what's your next one?

[B]

Oh, that's right. I get two. All right, I'll do this one. This is very tough NFC north, and I know you don't like this. Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings, in that order.

[A]

Lions, packers, bears, Vikings.

[B]

Plus 1300. Oh, it's tough. It's like a newborn figuring out a Rubik's Cube, But I have to take a chance here. You would reverse packers and Lions, right?

[A]

Yeah, I would do Green Bay winning that one, as we covered in the NFC podcast. Yeah, I wouldn't. The NFC North. I'm surprised you mess with that this early in the draft.

[B]

I know. It's all right.

[A]

This is why I'm going to beat you.

[B]

Got a lot more. Got a lot more.

[A]

All right, I'm going to do a homer pick for this next one. It's the New England Patriots to finish in second place in the AFC east is +1.70, as we discussed. I don't see any scenario where Buffalo loses the AFC east unless Josh Allen gets hurt. I don't see the jets or Dolphins passing the pats. Plus 170. Great odds. I would almost rather Bet that than the playoff. I think those are better odds than the playoffs.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

So I'm grabbing that.

[B]

That's pretty good. I wrote that down, by the way. I had second or third. Let's say you were a millionaire. Let's say you put a hundred million dollars on + 170 and 100 million on + 220. You can't lose that. They're coming in second or third.

[A]

So the only way you lose that is Drake May gets hurt, basically. Okay, maybe. And my other pick, which I really like, and I'm surprised you didn't take it off the board. This is on FanDuel. This is one of the ringer specials on FanDuel. New Orleans or Cleveland. Under three and a half wins. Minus 130.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

So one of those teams has to suck, basically. And I think both of them might suck. I actually wish there was a. You could do both of them at the same time. But I just don't see any scenario where both of those teams win four games.

[B]

You could have that wrapped up by, like, Thanksgiving somehow.

[A]

Feel good about that? I like backing the teams with the worst quarterback situations in the entire league. All right, you're up with two. All right.

[B]

I'm up with two. All right, I'm gonna steal this from you. Cause I know you like it. Jordan Love, MVP. 20 to 1.

[A]

You said 25.

[B]

25, great. I'll take it. Love, Matthew Golden. Love that offense.

[A]

Really smart. I should have taken that. God damn it.

[B]

Carolina, Cleveland Giants in December. He's in the conversation at 20 to 1.

[A]

You got one more.

[B]

I'm gonna go chase offensive player of the year, plus 800. You know, everyone's picking this guy first overall in every fantasy. That's probably the reason Henry and Barkley slow down. I think this leaves the door open. That's 17 touchdowns and 1700 yards. So wide receivers do. Hasn't won in three years.

[A]

This is how you won last year. You went big numbers.

[B]

What do you. Big chances, even odds.

[A]

That's smart. Well, I'm gonna have to take a division. Oh, I already did that one, though.

[B]

You wanna tap out?

[A]

Well, we're doing Fogo to Chow rules.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

Which means we just keep doing props back and forth until somebody quits, someone throws up. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna do. Those aren't great odds on that. Fine, I'll do this one.

[B]

You're rattled now?

[A]

No, this is a good one. I'm surprised you didn't take it. The odds aren't great. Miami, Cleveland, New Orleans and Tennessee all missed the playoffs.

[B]

Yeah. Wow. I have it right there.

[A]

Plus 105.

[B]

Yeah, it was like even a 105. Shit.

[A]

So who screws that up? Tennessee?

[B]

Nobody. That's good.

[A]

Tennessee maybe going nine and eight, getting a seven seed.

[B]

I mean, it's your Brown Saints bet, but you're giving yourself more leeway, like three or four more wins.

[A]

Well, I'm going to double back up on it. I won't do that. I already did that. Okay, this is a good one. I like this one. Denver or Green Bay to be the 1 seed in their conference, plus 550. Just a fun way to bet on Green Bay to be the one seed. But then you get the Denver odds. That's on one of those two. Yeah. Denver or Green Bay. Plus 550 as the one seed.

[B]

That's on there. They don't have first coach fire, but they have Denver or Green Bay.

[A]

Denver or Green Bay? I get to bet on Matt LaFleur and Sean Payton.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I get Bo Nix or Jordan Love. Good times. All right.

[B]

You're up with two.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I will say.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I'm going to do the NFC South. I shouldn't, but. Tampa Bay, Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans. Plus 500. I like that. I feel like there's some hedging to be had in there.

[A]

Plus 500. That's it.

[B]

Plus 500. What do you mean, that's it? That should be more. New Orleans is kind of locked for fourth.

[A]

Yeah. What's your next one?

[B]

I get one more. Aiden Hutchinson, Defensive Player of the year, plus 700. I think he gets a sympathy vote. He puts together numbers like he did last year. 700 plus 700. He had seven and a half sacks in five games. He was on his way to shattering. Definitely a personal high. But for the year.

[A]

Well, if you remember, I had him in our futures draft and he was like 14:1. Yeah, that one really hurt. Okay, we're going to go burrow. Most passing. Plus 500. That he has the most passing yards in the league. I was a little scared of the most passing bets, but in this case, I think he's the only guy who could actually throw for 5,000. Yeah, he played 17 games, hit a lot.

[B]

What do you have last year?

[A]

Yeah, he's the only one I could.

[B]

See doing five to one. That's good.

[A]

And then I'm going to double up on Joe Burrow. Burrow throws for 4,500 plus yards.

[B]

Saw this.

[A]

And the odds on that one are +165. So it's almost a little bit of a hedge on my most passing. Basically if he gets hurt, I lose both.

[B]

You're up. These individuals are so tough because of the week 18. You don't know. All right. Emeka Igbuka. I screamed about that a lot. Offensive rookie of the year 16 1. I think it's Bucs offense going to be dynamite. Lots of opportunities, lots of favorable matchups with Godwin. In or out? Who knows? You said it. Brian Thomas type year. 130010 touchdowns.

[A]

It's really good. The number 16 to one on that.

[B]

16 to one.

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

The number one overall pick is. Won the award only once in the last 13 years. I thought that was interesting. So it was 40 to 1 earlier in the year, but I'm going 16 to 1.

[A]

Okay, what's your next one?

[B]

Next one. Mike Green, defensive rookie of the year. This is a guy on the Ravens.

[A]

Oh, you're going deep. Cut deep.

[B]

Hoy was his nickname in college at Marshall for defensive player of the year. So he could be explosive. I know there's personal issues. Maybe he dominated the Senior Bowl. He left the senior bowl early. He was like that good. The Ravens were second in sacks last year. So it's 22 edge rusher. Don't forget that name. Mike 1100.

[A]

Would you describe our friend Brad as having personal issues? All of them.

[B]

Every single personal issue.

[A]

Every conceivable personal issue. Okay, I'm going to do Denver makes the playoffs and Cincinnati doesn't make the playoffs. That's a parlay for plus 230. You like that one?

[B]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Denver playoffs, Cincy. Interesting that you could do that. I mean there was a day when there was no way you could double dip.

[A]

You know why we could do that? Because that was a ringer special on FanDuel.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

And then I don't need to do that yet. Okay. Here, let's do this.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Geno Smith, Pete Carroll, Tom Brady, Brock Bowers and the Las Vegas Raiders. Eight plus wins, plus 150, I think. Oh, at least eight and nine. Had to grab that one.

[B]

That's solid. What do you got? All right, I have. Okay, there's a new award. Did you even know this? Protector of the year. I saw that Penny se consistently earns like the highest blocking ratings of PFF. You know, include leads the NFL with the 95 1. PFF 23, 24. Dion Dawkins and Andrew Whitworth got together and created this war. I don't know what they threatened, but There's a new O.C. i get it. But if he plays this game, I don't see it mattering. Penn State plus 4. 60. The only one who could challenge him is Big Dom, considered a protector. I do worry about that. It's almost exactly what he is.

[A]

What's your next one?

[B]

Robert Sala, Assistant Coach of the Year.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's an award?

[B]

Yeah, baby.

[A]

Is that on FanDuel? Sure.

[B]

Plus 800.

[A]

Wait, I gotta look this up. It's a. Cody, what site are you on? Season leaders or awards?

[B]

Awards. It's like the last one.

[A]

Oh, my God. I didn't realize it went that far.

[B]

Pick one. Those are fun.

[A]

Oh, well, then I'm doing Aiden Hutchinson, Comeback of the year at +270. All right, let's take that right off the board. Cause I didn't see that was available.

[B]

You don't like Rogers?

[A]

No, I do not. And then, ooh. Oh, the assistant coach of the year. A lot of good. A lot of good choices.

[B]

Yeah, Take Matt.

[A]

Patricia.

[B]

I know he's a college guy.

[A]

I'm not ready to do that yet. I'll do this here. Green Bay over nine and a half wins. Chicago over eight and a half wins. Plus three. 70. I think that hits. Feeling good about that one.

[B]

You need them to split, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. That's a good one.

[A]

All right.

[B]

We mentioned this. We were talking about this at Hercules. Hurts to have the most rushing touchdowns, plus 800. It's ridiculous.

[A]

Yeah, he does.

[B]

They didn't change that rule for Neanderthals. I don't know why that tush bush is there. His 42 rushing touchdowns in three years. He's always around 15. Cook had more than him last year. Gibbs and Henry only had one more. I think, like Hertz +800.

[A]

I'm trying to think who beats this.

[B]

Out of those guys or.

[A]

No, just in general. Who is.

[B]

I mean, Barkley's right behind him if they want to make an example of it.

[A]

Travian Anderson. What's your other one?

[B]

Mike Evans. A thousand plus yards. Minus 130. Eleven in a row. Right. Every year he's played, he's had a thousand yards.

[A]

Minus 130.

[B]

Minus 130. Week 18, home against the Panthers. What number would you be comfortable at for him? I mean, you saw last year what they did. They stacked it up. They just threw to him. Every down they were winning and they threw to him.

[A]

So he'd be like. At 840 yards and they're just going for it.

[B]

I wrote down 650. I think he can get 350 yards in that last game. All right, those are mine.

[A]

That's really smart. Did you do an AFC's bet?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

All right, well, I'm going to do it. I thought you did it. What'd you do at the top? I did. NFC South, NFC North, Buffalo, New England, Jets, Dolphins. Exact order, plus 600. I'm going to step in on that. Yeah, I just like the odds because Buffalo, New England, lock those down and you're just arguing about the odds.

[B]

That's pretty good. That's pretty damn good. And then.

[A]

Oh, this is a fun one. Nico Collins. Most receiving yards, 10 to 1.

[B]

Really?

[A]

So that's basically. That's Chase missing, like, two games with calf tightness, Jefferson being J.J. mcCarthy, and then all of a sudden, Nico Collins has the most.

[B]

Yeah, that's everyone in the league missing two games.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, that's good. All right, I'm going to go Baker. Passing touchdowns, plus 900. Most passing touchdowns, 41 last year. No sign of slowdown.

[A]

What are the ATS?

[B]

Plus 900.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I'm going to go love 30 or more touchdowns, plus 190. We both love love. There we go.

[A]

Plus one ninety. All right, I'm going to do Treyvan Henderson for Offensive Rookie of the year 16:1.

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

The case is, if you look at Jameer Gibbs's stats as a rookie for Detroit, and he was ended up with, like, almost 1,000 rushing yards and like 500 receiving yards or something like that, I actually think Henderson can do better than that. So it's him versus Zagbuka versus. Who's the other receiver? Golden. Golden versus Genti.

[B]

Yep. Yeah, Genti's.

[A]

Genti's probably. I mean, Genti's the safest pick, but. And then I'm going to take this right off the board. Dak Prescott, 4,000 yards plus 105. Suck on that.

[B]

All right.

[A]

How do you not take that?

[B]

I have another Dak one. I mean, it's a little bit of a swing.

[A]

Hold on. The Fogo to chat. Waiter just came over. You guys doing good? We're fine. Keep bringing the steak.

[B]

Wait, so Prescott four. 4,000 plus.

[A]

Yeah. Plus 105. Okay. Basically, he would have to get hurt not to get that. I don't. Especially because you don't have any running backs. Right? He's going to be throwing the ball like, 40 times a game.

[B]

Yep. I'm not going to argue. How about Prescott? Most. Most passing yards? He had 4,500. He's one year removed from 4,500. That's plus 900.

[A]

You're taking that?

[B]

Yep. I know you have burrow there and I'll take. How about this Travis Kelsey under four and a half touchdowns, he had three last year. He's you know he's gonna be worried about frickin flowers and seating charts and who's gonna be fighting with who and you know which in laws hate each other. He's gonna need counseling for all this. He's not going from three to five even if the 35 year old remains healthy. Plus 112. Under four and a half.

[A]

I have. Oh this is a good one. Let's do three or more NFC north playoff teams plus 330.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You like that one? Basically one from the NFC east, one from the NFC south, two from the NFC west and I'm home free. And then here's the other one. I mentioned this when we did part two at the nfc. Michael Penix led the led college football and interceptions or at least this conference had 11.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

He's going to be chucking the ball, slinging it around. I have him for most interceptions. 14 to 1.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I think I would have taken that at 8 to 1.

[B]

So isn't this one where there's no other option you want to take if there's no other option? Right. Because you need this guy to play to have the most intercepts.

[A]

Well that was the other thing I was thinking I wanted to take a younger QB that might. I mean he had four season ending injuries in college so maybe not the best guy for that. But I thought 14:1 were good. What do you got?

[B]

Chiefs touchdown every game. Oh plus one 10 last four years 75 and two. Only two out of 77 games. Didn't they not score a touchdown? One was two years ago against Denver. They had three field goals. One was last year at week 18. That's the one that's sticky. They lost 38. Nothing. I think it's as close as even money lock as you can get.

[A]

What are the odds?

[B]

Plus 1 10.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then I get another one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Detroit to make the divisional round to make it to at least a divisional round plus 130 so they can get a buy like they did last year and then you automatically win. Or they can win 10 games like I have them and then they have a home game probably against an inferior team. That's what I have. I don't think they're in a ton of danger of missing the playoffs. That's why I pick +130.

[A]

All right, long shot. Denver and Green Bay make it to championship weekend. The final four, 33 to 1. Just make the final four.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Good to go. And then I'm going to bet. Where's the other one I had? Oh, man, am I starting to run out of it? That's all right. No, I don't want to run out of it. A Philly Green Bay NFC title game. What do you think the odds are for that? 12, 20 to 1.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's good. I didn't look at those. I should have looked at some of those. Those are run. We call those Runway bets. When you're leaving a FanDuel State, you're like, I gotta get 40 bucks on these.

[A]

All these Vandrew should do ads for one way bets. When the flight attendant's like, sir, sir, can you please. Can you please put your phone away? You're like, hold on, I got two more minutes. Yeah, there's gonna be just finishing this parlay.

[B]

A huge brawl six rows from here that you're going to have to tend to in a few minutes.

[A]

But yeah, I. So you were convinced Fando was paying off pilots to stay in the Runway for six extra minutes in states where gambling was legal?

[B]

Yeah, I think they were in cahoots with what's the spirit? Air. That's the only thing that kept them going as long as they.

[A]

I think it's smart.

[B]

Okay, I'm going to go. Darnold Most interceptions plus 1100.

[A]

I looked at it.

[B]

Yeah, I liked it. 12. He's had as many as 15 right there. Jonathan Gannon, coach of the year.

[A]

I thought the tap out was coming.

[B]

No, Gannon. Gannon Coach of the year + 1400 do or die year for him. I think it's his award if he could take them from under 500 to the vision title.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

There you go. There's my two.

[A]

I have. I'm going to bet on a couple young QBs there. Tennessee over five and a half wins. New England over seven and a half wins plus 185. And then I'm going to do the one, the only, Brock Purdy. 4,000 yards plus 105.

[B]

That's good. I had a Purdy one.

[A]

Guy slings it.

[B]

Yep. Plus 105.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Purdy 4K plus 105. Okay. All right, I will go. All right. This is the Giants. Fan, Meathead Fan. Special meathead. Giant fan, long shot, future play. Okay, Cam scatterbo to record one or more receiving. Touchdown. One or more rushing. Touchdown. And one or more passing. Touchdown in the regular season. 29 to 1.

[A]

Could you see TD Triple Crown?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Pass rush, 29 to 1.

[B]

29. I couldn't just see it like. Yeah. Did you see Jerry's face? When? Week 18. The meaningless game. He threw a 15 yard. That's great. Who cares? We're 2 and 16. Whatever.

[A]

Did Scatterbow. Did he. Did he throw passes in college? Like, is there some? Were you studying?

[B]

He had a rolling play where I don't think it worked from what I saw, but. 29 to 1.

[A]

What's your other one?

[B]

Wasn't that 2? That wasn't it.

[A]

You did Scatterbow TD Triple Crown. 29. 1.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Tapping out.

[B]

Matthew golden over 700 and a half. That's fine. Minus 1. 10.

[A]

Matthew golden over 7.

[B]

700.5.

[A]

700. Oh, man, that's a good one. Plus 110.

[B]

We can end this. Whatever you want to do.

[A]

No, because I'm going to take Abdul Carter for defensive player of the year at +185. That's a layup. How is that not a minus odds at this point? Yeah, and I need to get in on this. Coach of the year.

[B]

Do it. It's fun.

[A]

I mean, Vrabel at + 750 staring at me.

[B]

I mean.

[A]

No, you know what?

[B]

They're probably not going to do that already.

[A]

I'm going to do the assistant coach of the year. Let's take a flyer. Clint Kubiak. 16 to 1 for offensive or for coordinator of the year? He's the offensive coordinator for Seattle Seahawks.

[B]

I'm going to be so pissed if that's what beats me.

[A]

That's like just people talking about his zone blocking and how. How he gave Darnold comfort.

[B]

That's gonna win, isn't it?

[A]

16 to 1.

[B]

Cam scatterbo better be passing.

[A]

All right, you got two.

[B]

All right, I have two. Hutchinson over 12.75. Sacks 12.75.

[A]

Why is it 12.75?

[B]

Because a half is an actual measurement in this. Oh, my God.

[A]

You could get.

[B]

You could find 12.73. I don't want to veer anyone off of FanDuel. You can find 12.725. No. Seven and a half and five games. 19 in his last 22 games is J.J. mcCarthy. Caleb Williams, who takes a lot of sacks. Flacco, Russ Stafford, the statue, Rogers, if he's still standing in the December. I like this.

[A]

So what are the odds?

[B]

Minus 112. Okay, you can get to 15.

[A]

What's your other one?

[B]

My other one? Panthers in third place and the NFC South. Plus 185. Incoming second, but they can't come in first or fourth.

[A]

Panthers in third place, plus 185. I have to look.

[B]

You don't trust me.

[A]

I'm not tapping up. No, I'm not tapping up.

[B]

Looks like you did.

[A]

I'm going to do Buffalo for the one seed and that's plus 250. And then I had. Where is the other one? Miami. Under five and a half wins. Plus 260.

[B]

Wait a minute. Is that real?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What's their regular one? Seven and a half.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. That's pretty good. That could happen.

[A]

What do you got?

[B]

I'll do Bill's buck. Super bowl plus 5,000.

[A]

Plus 5,000?

[B]

Yeah. And I'll do bucks.

[A]

I'll do 50 to 1.

[B]

I'll do bill. Super bowl plus 750. Is there a year. The Tommy Fleetwood Bills.

[A]

You took that from me.

[B]

The Kieran Culkin Bills. Sabrina Carpenter. Who else won first?

[A]

First thing this year I have. I'm going to double up on Buffalo. Denver title game, NFC, 23 to 1.

[B]

Oh, that's very good.

[A]

I would need Denver to win the division for that one to hit.

[B]

And then.

[A]

Where'S the other one? I had. What? Was. Was there one? I thought we had one. Oh, there it is.

[B]

I'm gonna help you out.

[A]

The. I don't know if I want to do that.

[B]

You're done. We don't have to find a new round.

[A]

That's fine. I don't wanna do that one. I'm gonna do New Orleans and Cleveland Both finished in fourth place, plus 158.

[B]

Well, you don't have that already.

[A]

No, I had a different version of it. All right, Doubling up on it. What do you got?

[B]

All right. Cardinals division, plus 380.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

It'S a long shot.

[A]

And plus 380. I like it.

[B]

All right, I'm doing something stupid. I know I said a lot of bad shit about Kyle Pitts, but what if this is the year? 750 yards or more, plus 380.

[A]

750 yards plus 380. Yeah. How did you even find that?

[B]

Well, 525 says regular over on there.

[A]

Okay. I need to find. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm going to do San Fran misses the playoffs. Plus 160.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I'm going to do Seattle division, plus 500.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Double up.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

On those two beauties.

[B]

We talked about this in the first podcast. Chargers lose in the wild card round, plus 290. I don't even have them to make the playoffs. But this seems like everybody should have this every year. We just get it out of the way.

[A]

What are the odds?

[B]

Plus 290. They're either going to lose the shaky's game or they'll be hosting essentially a road game.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, and then I got another one. I'm going to go Adams. Under 925 and a half. Minus 110.

[A]

Under.

[B]

Yeah. I don't trust Stafford being around for a lot of that.

[A]

Under 10.

[B]

25 and a half. 925.

[A]

925 and a half. Odds were what?

[B]

Minus 110.

[A]

Minus 110. Okay. I'm going to do Houston and win the division at plus 110.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then I'm going to do. I'm running out now.

[B]

There's no shame.

[A]

Could be a tapping.

[B]

Tapping app. It's no shame.

[A]

I'll do variable coach of the year plus 750.

[B]

All right, let's see if I'm excited.

[A]

About any of these others tapping out.

[B]

Bills beat the Dolphins home and on the road. Minus 135.

[A]

It's definitely Bill's. Dolphins sweep.

[B]

Bills sweep the dolphins.

[A]

That's plus odds.

[B]

No, no. Minus 135 seems like something you could do individual weeks, but I'm gonna parlay it together. September 18th and then.

[A]

Wonderful.

[B]

November 9th. Yeah, do that.

[A]

I like that one.

[B]

And I'll go Connor, under 875 and a half rushing.

[A]

Why under? What don't you like about him?

[B]

I got a little secret. It's gonna make me look like an asshole, but if you take all the running backs under, there's like six who are out for the year by week six. Six or seven. You know, you can like kind of split there, but I don't. I don't like the. Not bad. He's going to be 32.

[A]

I think I'm going to do indie. Under five and a half wins. That is plus 250. You like that one?

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Plus 250. And then I'm going to do. What was the other one I had? Oh, I'm not. I don't have the balls to do that. I'm starting to run out now. Let's do. Yeah.

[B]

Should we blow a horn to like wake the audience up or something?

[A]

Chargers? No. Playoffs even.

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[A]

Want to do two more?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

All right. Or I get one. I went first. So you get two more. I get one more. All right.

[B]

Sorry. Fields six. Plus rushing touchdowns plus 115. Said eight, four and five the last three years. Hit five and ten games last year. Already has one in preseason.

[A]

And what were the odds again?

[B]

Plus one hundred and fifteen.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

And then cup under five and a half touchdowns.

[A]

That's under.

[B]

That's minus 1 54. It's a big vig, but come on, there's gotta be some decline a little bit there. I don't see a lot of scoring. Missed 18 games in three years.

[A]

Minus 110.

[B]

So you have one more pick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't fuck this up.

[A]

I'm going to do Buffalo over Green Bay in the super bowl and I have no idea what the odds are.

[B]

I don't know if they have over. They might just have.

[A]

So Buffalo Green Bay Super Bowl.

[B]

Yeah, they will.

[A]

Which is. What's Buffalo Green Bay Super Bowl. Let me find it because that's my actual pick. So I should probably have money on that.

[B]

40 to one that they meet up.

[A]

40 to one, that's my last pick. All right, we're tapping out. Tapping out of the Fogo Chow draft.

[B]

Thank you, Mr. Wayne.

[A]

I don't feel like we had enough player props, but I think the problem with player props is that guys get hurt and you get screwed.

[B]

You mean just like over unders?

[A]

Yeah, just those over unders. I never know who to trust. I like the quarterback throwing ones, but remember last year I had Trevor Lawrence, Caleb Williams and somebody else will throw for 4,000 yards each. Right, right, right. Didn't happen.

[B]

It's more fun. It's more fun to take the big odds, guys.

[A]

All right, cuz. Great job.

[B]

Good job by you, buddy.

[A]

All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to cousin Sal. Thanks to Gahao and Eduardo and Ceruti as well. I will be back on this podcast possibly with a two parter on Tuesday with a big guest too. So stay tuned for that and then don't forget about the rewatch of what's coming Monday night movie 400, American Gangster. Don't forget about all of our awesome football content. Don't forget about the Ranger Gambling show live every day noon ET on the Marion Gambling YouTube channel. And I will see you on Tuesday. Must be 21 plus of President select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 + in President D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 1-887-897777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-87-7-8, Hope NY or text Hopeny in New York.