The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode: Handing Out the ‘Heat’ Awards for This NBA Season
Date: February 13, 2026
Guests: Chris Ryan, Van Lathan, Rob Mahoney
Theme: Using quotes and moments from the film Heat as a framework for handing out tongue-in-cheek awards reflecting the 2025-26 NBA season. The episode is a blend of movie nostalgia, NBA analysis, and the distinctive banter of Simmons, Ryan, Lathan, and Mahoney.

Overview

Bill Simmons and guests Chris Ryan, Van Lathan, and Rob Mahoney unite for a live episode, blending their mutual love of Michael Mann’s Heat with the biggest storylines, controversies, and memorable characters of this NBA season. The group assign classic Heat moments and quotes as symbolic “awards” to NBA teams, players, owners, or events, riffing on fandom, heartbreak, trends, and the absurdities of the modern league. Throughout, the panel moves seamlessly between their encyclopedic recall of the film and insightfully comic NBA commentary.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why Heat? The Ongoing Obsession

• Simmons and Ryan have a long-running bit of using Heat as a metaphor for life and basketball—a “Bible” for masculinity, loyalty, and obsessive ambition.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Chris Ryan (04:31): “This is the Bible, man. Two guys circling each other in LA. ... I’ve tried watching it end to beginning. I try watching it. I don’t watch Pacino and De Niro scenes. I only focus on, like, Hank Azaria. ... It’s a never ending gift.”
• All participants share their affection for the film and explain its influence on the Ringer's culture.
  • Van Lathan (05:34): “Love it, love it. Coolest bunch of motherfuckers doing the Coolest shit you could imagine.”

2. “Heat” Life Lessons Translated to NBA*

• Simmons recounts his favorite “fortune cookie” lessons from Heat: don’t double back after pulling off a crime (or a trade), never settle for a dull life, never have anything you can’t walk away from in 30 seconds.
• Group debates how the film’s relationship and loyalty lessons apply to NBA team-building, tanking, and fan loyalty.

3. Distribution of Heat Awards—NBA Parallels

A. “The Sun Rises and Sets with Her, Man” Award

• NBA parallel: Mavericks fans obsessing over losing Luka Doncic in a trade, even as the team benefits with new star power (13:01)
  • Simmons: “They have not gotten over the Luka Doncic trade yet ... That one's going to the grave.”
• Also referenced: Damian Lillard’s “what if” trade rumors.

B. “Don’t Leave Me Like This, Neil” Award

• NBA parallel: Steph Curry and the Warriors legacy—loyalty vs realistic window. Is this Steph’s last great chapter with Golden State?
  • Simmons: “He's just lying on his back in a pool of blood. There's no more titles to be had.”
  • Discussion of “finishing” with one team as a badge of honor (Kobe), potential “weird endings” (Curry to Charlotte?).

C. “Slick is No Motherfucking Joke” Award (21:15)

• Flimsy plot device of the movie compared to the 65-game MVP eligibility rule—now creating chaos as stars drop under the threshold.
  • Chris Ryan: “I don't even know who's going to be the ... MVP this year.”
  • Discussion: 65 games vs. minutes played, load management, unintended consequences for award voting.

D. “Making Out with Al Pacino’s Coffee/Cigarette/Morning Breath, for Multiple Takes” (25:01)

• For “single worst day on the job.”
• Paralleled to Adam Silver’s reaction to star player Giannis Announcing a gambling partnership the day after trade rumors—huge bad optics for league integrity.
  • Van (25:23): “Imagine if 2015 Kobe was like, I’d like to announce my partnership with Brazzers ... what a bad look.”

4. Deep-Dive: Tanking, Ownership, and the NBA Culture Wars

Tanking’s Persistence and Solutions

• Simmons: Tanking is still the most effective team-building strategy—how to fix it?
  • Rob Mahoney suggests rookie free agency: “Let the market decide.” (42:35)
  • Chris Ryan draws a soccer comparison: “You can’t tank in soccer. You get relegated.”
  • Lathan: “Is tanking actually a competitive strategy? Or just a symptom of a broken system?”

NBA Ownership Psychology

• Do owners care about being liked after controversial moves (like the Mavericks’ Luka deal)? Mixed answers.
  • Simmons: “Why would you want to own a team? ... It’s basically an investment. Like if you bought 10 Starbucks.” (14:18)
• Owners as attention-seekers vs. investors. “Patrick Dumont, now he‘s an arch-villain.” (14:24)
• Billionaires “don’t care about any of that, it’s just another acquisition.” (15:01)

5. Roleplaying Heat Characters as NBA Figures

Van Lathan’s Top 5 Heat-to-NBA Player Comps (39:05)

1. Neil (De Niro) = LeBron James. “Cultural psychological leader ... claims to know when to quit, but obviously doesn’t.”
2. Chris Shiherlis (Kilmer) = Kyrie Irving. “Looks better doing his job than anyone ... Least likely person in the crew to get vaccinated.”
3. Vincent (Pacino) = Steph Curry. “Technical, methodical ... has a marriage the movie is too concerned with.”
4. Trejo = Draymond Green. “Indispensable, do-it-all glue guy ... mouth caused end of the dynasty.”
5. Waingro = Dylan Brooks. “No further explanation needed.” (41:30)

6. Game and League Structural Problems

A. Injuries & Modern Play

• Discussion of rise in soft-tissue injuries, the toll of “unnatural” basketball movement, and even speculative rants about sunlight and vitamin D deficiency (Dr. Clapper segment, 56:10).
  • Van: “They should pump UV lamps inside gyms to feed the skin, the soul, and the bones.”

B. Tanking and the Dull Regular Season

• Discussion becomes almost existential as Rob observes: “No one can watch their local broadcasts. No one wants to watch the regular season ... The league is in a really awful place and no one seems to want to do anything about it.” (101:39)
• Simmons: “The season’s too long ... They should be taking games away. 66-70 games should be the length, and it’s just clear as day.” (103:09)

7. Player Futures and League Narratives

Steph Curry

• Possible late-career move to Charlotte as a “weird” career finish.

LeBron’s Legacy in LA

• Greatest test of legacy: Can LeBron be considered a true Laker great?
  • Van: “After Kareem, Magic, and Kobe ... the thing with LeBron is, when you live through it, it was a little staccato. There was always some other bullshit that got in the way.”
  • Simmons: “Do you put him with Magic, Kareem, Kobe? ... It was a weird one.” (105:10-106:25)

James Harden

• Eternal “red flag” guy—always getting sucked in by surface numbers: “At some point, the person convincing you to make the trade is like, don’t look at his basketball reference in the playoffs...” (81:07)

NBA Player Podcasts

• Simmons: “It just seems like [player podcasts are] this new subculture ... they are not media trained. So when it's authentic, it does feel like you’re eavesdropping on conversations people actually have.” (63:41)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Chris Ryan, on watching Heat:
  “I've tried watching it end to beginning ... I don't watch Pacino and De Niro scenes. I only focus on, like, Hank Azaria.” (04:31)
• Van Lathan, on the universal white guy bonding over Heat:
  “…two Caucasians could be at a bar together and… one of them goes, ‘yo, dude, you fucking see Heat, dude?’ Next thing you know, a whole podcast network is formed.” (05:51)
• Bill Simmons, on NBA billionaire owners:
  “They don't care… It's another acquisition for them. I really don't think that they do.” (15:00)
• Chris Ryan, on NBA Sixers' “process” tanking:
  “We got to the second round of the playoffs. … Just like we did with Jrue Holiday and Doug.” (43:59)
• Van Lathan, on suspending disbelief about Heat’s airport chase:
  “It makes absolutely zero sense that Vincent could have found Neil … They don’t explain it.” (78:21)
• Lathan, on NBA’s modern injuries:
  “It's these bullshit ass skill coaches…tween, tween, back spin, half-360, move up under the basket … get the ball, make a move, pass.” (55:25)
• Lathan, on LeBron’s career:
  “…when you’re living through it, the championship is there…but there’s all other stuff…just stopped him from being the unassailable, completely dominant figure you thought he was going to be.” (107:15)
• Bill Simmons, on LeBron’s LA legacy:
  “…the weirdest part was that they won the title in that crazy Covid year…no parade after. And it was just a weird one.” (105:41)

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [04:31] — Why Heat became “the Bible” for the Ringer & this awards concept.
• [12:23] — Award: “Sun Rises & Sets with Her, Man” — Mavericks fans after Luka trade.
• [17:19] — Steph Curry’s future, “Don’t leave me like this, Neil.”
• [21:15] — “Slick is No Motherfucking Joke” Award — 65-game MVP rule.
• [25:01] — Making out with Pacino: “Worst Day at the Job” — Silver, Giannis/Gambling, CP3.
• [39:05] — Van Lathan’s NBA player/character composite list.
• [42:35] — Discussion: Is tanking a solvable problem? (rookie free agency idea).
• [55:25] — Why are injuries so prevalent? Rants about skills coaches, injuries, vitamin D.
• [63:41] — NBA player podcasts: why are they multiplying?
• [76:44] — Airport chase scene in Heat; most underrated movie/season moment.
• [81:07] — Most red flags ignored in NBA love affairs: James Harden trades.
• [101:39] — Adam Silver as “comically bad management figure”; the NBA’s struggles.
• [105:41] — The strange legacy of LeBron in LA; “a weird one.”

Sample: Specialty “Heat” Awards (Selected)

| Heat Moment / Quote Award | NBA Equivalent | |----------------------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | “Never have anything in life you can’t walk away from in 30 seconds” | Lakers and LeBron — are they finally ready to move on after years? (104:34) | | “The Sun Rises and Sets...” | Mavs fans and post-Luka heartbreak (13:01) | | “Slick is No Joke” / Flimsiest Plot Device | 65-game MVP eligibility rule (21:50) | | “Worst Day on the Job” | Adam Silver after Giannis’ gambling partnership (25:21) | | “Red Flags Ignored” — the Edie Award | Cavaliers pursuing James Harden; always a honeymoon, always regret (81:07) | | “Most Comically Bad Manager” | Kings’ return to incompetence, Adam Silver’s rough year (101:13) |

Tone and Highlights

• Free-flowing and irreverent, the conversation moves swiftly between Heat lore—and one-upmanship in doing Pacino impressions—and deeply knowledgeable, often unsparing NBA critique.
• Audience interaction is lively. The crew regularly polls the crowd for agreement and bounces between laughter and groans.
• Sharp, sometimes biting humor is mixed with thoughtful player/team evaluations. The hosts are unafraid to call out NBA hypocrisy, ownership indifference, and the league’s structural shortcomings.

Conclusion

This episode, through its unique Heat-as-metaphor conceit, delivers sharp, funny, and surprisingly poignant reflections on where the NBA stands in 2026. The awards act as satiric but insightful lenses—whether mocking front office mistakes, meditating on loyalty and legacy, or facing the existential malaise of tanking and league business. The chemistry and wit of Bill, Chris, Van, and Rob ensure the format never feels forced, and the references are rich for both cinephiles and hoops nuts.

If you enjoy NBA analysis, pop culture banter, and a running thread of Pacino imitations, this is the perfect live pod to catch you up on league drama and how Heat really is the ultimate sports movie metaphor.

Further Listening

• Previous “Heat” rewatchable episodes on The Ringer network
• Rewatchables: Heat (with Michael Mann)